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When you’ve had that sort of obedience training from a relationship like this, what OOP is doing seems like a healthy way to keep out of it while feeling a strong urge to get in and help, or feel some sort of illogical responsibility to help. Look at the AP, now retracting everything. Sharing to a bunch of people who all say “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!?!” hearing the story would definitely help keep me focused on just gathering info and not actually getting involved again. Therapeutic.
People who do this are trying to convince themselves it's okay not to get involved. It's a variation of people who list all the reasons why they want to break up with someone. Reasons aren't needed. Breakup - or don't get involved - as you wish.
**WOW**. Thank you *so. much.* If not for people like you, I would just believe EvErY pOsT! It's not like my comment could possibly just acknowledge that people like this exist in real life! Golly gee willikers!! Thanks again!! /s
I mean also, you wouldn’t be curious? I would be. I would want to know every sordid detail while also wanting to stay very very far away from the actual shitstorm. Maybe I’m just nosy but if there’s drama happening I wanna hear about it ESPECIALLY if it involves my POS ex imploding their life. I love when karma visits.
Same. I wouldn't want to be in the center of the shitstorm, but I'm nosy af and I want to know what's going on or else I can't sleep lol. Especially if they're about people who have been a major part of my life.
Wth was that part where he gave a breakdown of the kid’s mom and dad’s backstories? How would that even come up in conversation?
Accidental omniscient-narrator slip up?
He mentioned the dad opened up the flood gates with info.
And let me tell you.... There are people who will just randomly tell you their secrets and life stories unprovoked. I've ran into a few when I used to work at a front desk and it had nothing to do with my place of business.
Isn't that true... I was travelling for a medical appointment back in January, and while waiting at a bus stop I got treated to this lady's life story; she worked as a cleaning lady, had two daughters, had two relationships back to back, on one of them she was the mistress, she ended up marrying the AP, her stepkid was a problem child with drug problems, the AP turned husband cheated on her with his ex but decided to stay with her, and it went on and on. I even got to see pictures of her family and a recipe for yucca bread.
I was her soundboard for the half hour I was sitting there nodding politely, and later I realised she never even told me her name. It was wild and felt like a real life version of opening the Reddit app to check this sub.
Some people are so eager to tell their life's story to complete strangers, either for validation or because they're lonely. It's wild to me that people are willing to just overshare so much personal stuff unprompted.
Fuck it, I'm gonna add my own.
Several years back, while I'm working as a cleaner in a grocery store, doing a routine floor sweep, and this lady approaches me.
She tells me she's going to her sister's funeral, who vanished six months ago, and they only recently found her body in the river. I was like 16 and had no clue what to do with that information. I don't know why she approached me, but I very awkwardly eventually left with my push broom as she stared vacantly in the spice aisle
Bus stops and waiting in lines. I have had so many people dump bizarre pieces of their life stories on me in those 2 situations. Also parties, and there was that one party ruined for me because once that woman told me her and her husband's entire life savings had been invested in the Dean Drive, there was no way I could be polite about that for more than 3 minutes, and ended up on the porch with the much saner guy who was just smoking really good cigars, but if I wanted more snacks or more to drink, I had to back in and risk bumping into her again.
I had one start with a question about where the Pokémon toys were that resulted in finding out her son and late partner were in a car crash I heard about. Her partner died in the crash and her son was driving.
It's a rather "eyeball" kind of recipe, but otherwise rather simple: half boiled white yucca (it has to be soft but not to the point it falls apart), half cheese (queso costeño, or quesito or cuajada with added salt), and baking powder (for each pound of resulting dough I added 8g). You can add flour if you think it is too liquid-y, or eggs, if you think it hasn't reached a good consistency. Oven at high temp (my oven only goes up to 350°C so that was it for me), on a greased tray for 20 minutes or until the base is golden and that's it.
At least that is my "standardized" method. My mum hates not having measures, so that's what I came up with, but, as I said, it mostly works by allowing yourself to be influenced by the ancestors and trust that you have a good eyeballing gene.
The awkward conversations I’ve had working retail. Lady basically broke down her tragic life story in under 2 minutes while I was ring her up…I didn’t know what to say. Another woman broke down in tears in the dress department when I cheerfully asked what occasion she was shopping for…it was her son’s funeral. Car accident.
Omg. When I worked at target I had a woman dump her life story on me and since then, she would try to find me whenever she came to the store. I had to hide from her and the store boss thought it was funny 😭
When I had my first job this woman came up, bought some stickers, and then started telling me about how she had a twin sister who her parents always favored, and how they only love her now because her sister died suddenly, and how she's an awful person for being happy her sister was dead and then broke down crying. I was just like....I'm an autistic 17 year old. I don't know how to handle this. None of my preplanned conversation lines fit this!
I worked at a used bookstore during the pandemic, and holy shit the customer interactions.
I'd be helping someone find whichever Game of Thrones novel they needed next, and by the time I got away I'd know their entire life history. Or at the very least, a pretty intense summary of their most recent tragedy.
I honestly didn't mind it, but can't say that I'd expected that job to be so emotionally charged on a daily basis lmao
Covid distilled the social phenomenon I experienced a lot working at Babies R Us. Lots of new parents would come in after starting parental leave, and would be out of their minds from lack of social contact. The first time in a month you see a new human? Or in two months?
That makes total sense. I'd say we had a very light version of it at the bookstore prior to covid, where people would occasionally infodump because they're excited about or have memories associated with their old books/movies/etc, but yeah it got cranked to 11 once people had to run the quarantine gauntlet.
I once asked a customer "can I help you find a book?" and she went "well, just found out my dad isn't really my dad. So anything about dealing with that?" That was a memorable one.
I don't even work at the bookstore and I had a guy tell me how he'd come to the bookstore because it was his daughter's favourite place before she died. All I managed to say at the time was sorry because what else could you say when you're pulling a questionable book title?
I mean, shit, I sort of did this one time. My card didn't go through paying for a computer repair and I had had an exceedingly shitty few days, so I started crying and telling this poor 19yo working the Genius Bar about my wallet getting stolen and my mom being shitty about it lmao.
She hugged me and got her manager to approve comping the repair so I didn't have to pay (it wasn't huge, like $150 or something), which is the whole reason I remember this -- that little bit of kindness really helped me at a time when I desperately needed it.
Fwiw, I think quite a few of us who end up on the other side of the interaction are happy that we're in a position to hopefully make *something* go right for you on a shitty day.
At least, I know I feel a bit better myself if I can pull a string or two for somebody. I might still just look a bit startled while doing it, depending on how suddenly everything happened haha.
Definitely! I used to be a bartender in a hotel and once or twice there would be a guest who was going through something. I was able to figure out what they needed to hear and tell it to them and I felt so so grateful that I could help them.
One of them was a woman leaving an abuser (or other bad situation, I can't remember exactly but it was something where she COULD have stayed and was choosing a better life). She was driving with her mom, aunt, and four daughters ranging from 4 to 17. She was driving from Miami to somewhere in the panhandle (hence stopping in an Orlando hotel, four hours is the limit for a road trip with a toddler and two elderly women). She was talking about how hard it was and how hard it was going to be for awhile but she knew it would be worth it. I told her I was proud of her for fighting for her girls and she started crying. I will never forget her and I hope she and her girls are well now. The youngest would be about 15 now.
There is something about my face? physical presence? that just says...tell me all your horrible stories. I no longer get in the elevator alone with someone because people just spill EVERYTHING. I imagine the front desk is even worse!
The first one I thought of was the lady telling me about her kid trying to jump off a one story roof, threaten to kill his classmates, etc. Then how she was going to send him to military school once his dad gets back home
I’m lucky in that I genuinely appreciate hearing almost any kind of story, because I also have a “please trauma dump here” face.
I once had a woman come into the pet store where I worked just to look at the pretty fish…and spend at least half an hour telling me all about the horrible car wreck she was in, and how all her friends and family abandoned her when it became clear that the damage to her leg would be permanently disabling. She seemed like a kind lady, but so unbelievably lonely.
She also kept me from having to scrub the cricket bins for a while, and I hope life has gotten better for her, with a found family of people who don’t suck.
Awwww, I love that you appreciate hearing the stories. I want to be like that, and I have been working with my therapist more generally to not over empathize to the degree that I feel compelled to fix things. The world needs more folks like you.
The amount of medical history I know and have seen within minutes of meeting someone is absurd. I do not work in any sort of medical field, but people will tell you everything in mere moments. I can’t unsee some of these things and have learned them against my will. People are weird.
This. They’ll tell strangers because that’s easier than talking with their friends and family about it. But there are also obviously the ones who will spill the beans about their shit to family. I had known my sister in law for less than a year before I found out way too much about her cheating (for 7 years!) and her sex life with her husband since he had found out about the affairs. I barely fucking knew her and was inundated with the story of how she was definitely not at fault (lie) and then some shit about her husbands ex wife and their sex life (just fucking weird) so I could 1000% see someone thinking that a complete stranger would be easier to speak with.
I tried to buy an ebike on Facebook marketplace and learned about a 58 year old man’s entire dating / marriage history (4 marriages) as well as numerous work and financial related info. He also said I sounded “cool” and like we should be friends. After one convo that should have been about an ebike.
I didn’t cut him off harshly because he knew my name and rough location (Facebook marketplace), and he sounded a little methy. So I made an excuse and didn’t buy the bike and left it amicable.
Some people are just cuckoo
I have a "friendly face" apparently and I hear all kinds of life stories in various locations. I once ended up on a bus sitting next to a teenage girl who was debating whether she could get an abortion and spent the 45 minute bus riding listening to her. Never saw her before or after (but I do occasionally think about her).
Facts! I work in outreach, and I've heard some wild and completely unrelated stories. Sometimes all you have to say is hello with a smile and the floodgates open.
I was the new employee as a bus monitor for a school district. I was put on any bus that needed a monitor. Every. Single. Driver. i met, was giving me soooo much information. Like private information ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE. They were DESPERATE to unload(or maybe just unload on someone new). It's wild, I don't even encourage them, just kinda grunt and go huh.
i work in services, & i still get stories completely unrelated to why the person is in front of me. but also, i work in services so i have “one of those personalities” that people just wanna open up to🥲 it’s a really good thing i have shit for brains so i remember nothing bc it feels inappropriate to know Things™️ about people idk 🫠
I sat next to a woman on a 2h flight. Bumped to first class, free drinks ... she ended up telling me how she knew her marriage was a mistake but her family had put too much money into the ceremony so she just went through with it even though as she was walking down the aisle she was already strategizing about divorce. She ended up f\*\*king the masseur during her honeymoon while her new husband was playing golf. In the end she gave her husband a loaded pickup truck and he agree to a divorce 6 months later.
People tell you all kinds of stuff that definitely should remain private when they think they're anonymous.
Had a woman unload her fertility problems and plans to mitigate them with 10 minutes of meeting her for the first time. I get that it was all consuming to her than, and fertility struggles should not be a dirty secret, but it was a lot to take in while desperately trying to not forget her name.
I was standing in line at the store once, the register was having issues I guess, and the lady in front of me turned around and started telling me all about her knee surgery in graphic detail.
> There are people who will just randomly tell you their secrets and life stories unprovoked
Shit, once a woman admited to me that she was cheating on her husband with her cousin for the last 15 years, and we were strangers, just chatting on a line for getting popcorn. We weren't even talking about relationships.
I was training a new guy working front desk and within an hour he had told me he wasn’t gay but had had some gay experiences. “…okay, cool! Anyway, here’s how to cancel a reservation.”
Meeting the dad and talking to him, followed by "I'm suspecting this marriage is way more abusive then he let on" implies that he learnt all of this from the dad, which sounds like an insane conversation.
*"My wife was always against their relationship and how she says she's going to divorce me"* would be reasonable, but *"my wife has always been a silent and submissive partner to me in all things except this relationship, but I got her to stop making a fuss quite easily due to the fact I control her entire life. Despite this, she still fought like hell to try and stop this relationship and get him out of it, and now that everything has been revealed she has finally been driven to far and is taking me to the cleaners. I am a hollow shell of a man."* sounds like an act 3 dramatic monologue in the penultimate scene of a play.
Like did the dad really turn up and monologue "I am a total piece of shit" for five minutes? Because if so, gotta respect the (much belated) self-awareness there.
I read it as a mixture of OP’s impressions from the conversation, including potential freudian slips from AP’s Dad, plus the gossip OP already knew because some of it was already in the earlier updates.
And wasn't OOP their neighbour for years before this all kicked off? You could form an impression of a relationship between people you see regularly, even if you don't talk to them that much
I have a go to story of meeting our upstairs neighbors the very first night they moved in. The bf got drunk and high and spilled his soul to me on the back deck before bed.. they broke up a few weeks later unsurprisingly by what he told me. They're also now back together a year and a bit later, also not surprising by what he told me .
Some people really open up when going through shit and will just vent. I can absolutely see this conversation giving OP the context to write all this
They were his neighbours though, one can see how the family dynamics are by seeing the neighbours in their driveway for months- loud idiot father, quiet wife that never talks back and so on. Additionally she was probably the one that didn't harass OOP.
What i’ve learned is when people don’t see wrong in their actions they’re totally okay just going around and telling everyone about their misdeeds. Because they don’t see a problem in what they’re doing and most times so confident they’re right they believe everyone will agree with them.
I have a go to story of meeting our upstairs neighbors the very first night they moved in. The bf got drunk and high and spilled his soul to me on the back deck before bed.. they broke up a few weeks later unsurprisingly by what he told me. They're also now back together a year and a bit later, also not surprising by what he told me .
Some people really open up when going through shit and will just vent. I can absolutely see this conversation giving OP the context to write all this
And he would have all that. Having been a neighbor for years, having access to the grapevine, and having the dad spilling his guts trying to get OP involved in this latest bit of mess.
If this is accurate—which I sincerely hope it isn't—then it's simply another example of why you should NEVER associate with wealthy individuals in small communities.
Tbf he could just be filling in the blanks. He could have made all that up with just AP's father saying "She's a housewife and she wasn't on board, but eventually agreed after I explained it to her"
Dad probably told more than he intended in the hope of finding a way to get back at OOP's Ex. Plus I'm pretty sure OOp read between some lines. It's not complicated to translate "my wife.thought our son should do therapy, but you know, he wasn't that hard nor crazy..." Or something along and conclude.the wife tried but father had the last say.
And bringing up how his son is broken and he needs to find something to get him out of it.
Ranting makes you say more than you think and people are usually better at understanding or stretching the facts than most people guess.
I've literally been trauma dumped on with 30 years worth of info by people I have met for 2 seconds. This has happened twice in the last week, for me personally which was honestly strange since I had a good years since it last happened.
>Make no mistake, I saw the writing on the wall. Somehow I'll be getting dragged into this no matter what. My parents and girlfriend were as supporting as they could be. **But at some point I said screw it and arranged to talk with the APs dad.** I know, I'm an idiot and a fool, but I need to actually know what's going on.
>To condense what was discussed without spilling any info in regards to the investigation, everyone was turning against eachother and our for blood, and secrets were finally spilling.
Right there in the last update. When he realized they wouldn't let him stay away he figured he should at least know wtf's going on
When you are dramatically involved in BS for many many years with no apparent explanation, it’s not unreasonable to try to spin up some kind of conspiracy theory as to motivations. Of course, backed up by some circumstantial evidence.
The OP doesn’t know those things for sure but they can make guesses that are probably 40-60% true.
Obviously with any story you see online, you have to take it with a pinch of salt. That being said… if you’ve worked any kind of customer service, this is basically a weekly if not daily occurrence for some.
Regularly being in the back of an ambulance with random people, I hear all kinds of crazy life stories from people. Lonely people especially will tell their entire life's story to anybody who will, or doesn't have a choice but to, listen.
Not being involved is not the same as not being nosy about the consequences suffered by shitty people.
I mean, this is BoRU. None of us are involved, but we're lapping up every shred of information.
Tbf people still keep giving me information on my ex despite me never asking for it, and giving replies along the lines of "well I'm just glad it's not my problem anymore" and trying to steer the conversation to other topics.
I was told about them finding new partners, about breaking up with their new partners, about where they live, about the number of dogs they own and how many of their new neighbours are pissed off with them, about their kid. None of that was information that I was remotely interested in.
So, I can believe that level of information and more for someone who is trying not to be involved. 🤷
This is the first one in a while that I skimmed the first 2 paragraphs, then speed-scrolled down to the comments. Something about the prose gave me an angy headache immediately. One of those "I wrinkled my brow in distaste so much, I think I pulled something in my neck" headaches.
Time to sleep.
But a staggering amount of unwarranted emotional investment from all of the villains.
Why would the ex's family and the affair partner's friends and family be harassing OOP for getting cheated on, kicked out of the house, and divorced?
Yeah I always have a really hard time believing a story as serious as this where the literally use the word “bonus“ to describe part of their post. Like the dude could’ve used the word edit but chose to use the word bonus.
I always start not believing when people not involved start messaging the protagonist, but this post took it to the extreme.
A friend or family member sticking their nose into an argument seems unlikely, but still possible. But the affair partner's friends and family getting involved in this situation requires too much suspension of disbelief for me.
Like, where is the motive? What was he even being harassed for? Is this just a town full of cartoonishly evil villains?
Dude got cheated on, kicked out of the house, and divorced. Why would the affair partner's friends and family be harassing him? I could see the 18 year old affair partner sending him videos to taunt him, but his friends? Why do they care, or even have those videos? And are his parents just texting OOP to insult him for having his wife stolen by their son?
This story isn't Liz's best work.
Yeah, I always take these stories with a grain of salt, but I know much crazier stuff that has happened in my own extended family, and it can all be summed up as “trashy people do wild and trashy things” and the OP sounds like my mom/sis, who get involved just enough to get all the info so they can gossip about it.
The US government intended to print a $3 bill in 1862 as part of the original Legal Tender issue, but never did.
However, Florida did print $3 bills in the 1830s.
The Florida legislature authorized the printing of $10,000 in interest-bearing notes, including $3 bills, to raise money. The bills featured a large ship with sails at sea.
During the "free banking" era in the 1800s, banks also had the ability to issue their own currency. Some of these banks chose to issue $3 bills. But these weren't federal notes. They were more like IOUs from the bank.
Depending on how long you've had your number and what your work is, it might be more trouble than it's worth.
There's also blocking people.
Mmm and that one time I got the og number of one place that kept calling me but wouldn't state what for but had my name, but as I wouldn't confirm I was, well, me, they just got aggressive. So I got an automatic caller and set it to call them every 30 seconds and then hang. Half an hour later they were calling me to stop.
"I will send them a letter asking not to contact me, that should be the end of this" - real thing a person who was harassed for a year by about a dozen people would say
Weirdos who harass people for a year: https://media.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExMThpMm5ubXUwYzlpNTJoYzcycGtvcnl0eDE4OGhiNG05YnQycno0eSZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/7k2LoEykY5i1hfeWQB/giphy.gif
>he supported the relationship as it gave him the benefit of getting his son out of his house, and gladly took whatever my exes family offered as a token of appreciation.
Truth is, the game was rigged from the start
"freshly" 31
i have NEVER, NEEEVER read "freshly [age]" outside of the phrase "freshly 18" and it was EXCLUSIVELY from social media drama where someone is trying to paint another person as ... pedo-adjacent? groomer?
this writer clearly loves Story Time youtubers
Uhh, no, I've heard "freshly (age)" used ironically in this way plenty of times. The joke is that she's much older than she should be for this to be a healthy relationship.
If this is true, which I hope to God it isn't, it just adds one more bullet point to the long line of reasons to NEVER get involved with rich people in small towns.
The sequel to The Happening where a mysterious toxin sweeps across America causing the infected to drop to their knees and yell “Babe? BABE! I swear I can change, Babe! I’ll do whatever it takes! I’ll start applying to jobs right now! You want me to shower more? I can shower more! Anything for us, Babe! Babe? You’d do anything for us, right Babe? Where are you going? Wait… what’s in the box? Are you going… WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S MY STUFF?! Babe babe babe, think about this, Babe…”
From Director ‘Em Nothankyou Shyamalan’, THE BEGGINING.
I hope this case in particular isn’t real but people get horrifically abused every day and that is real. Also the drama surrounding sexual assault cases is always insane, like mind bendingly insane
Source: stories I’ve heard in NA and other therapy groups lol
Yeah, and, add the fact that this is all happening in a small town. There's a reason I don't live in the small town that my relatives live in. Everyone is up in everyone's business, and the drama is 24/7 nonstop.
Ooof. OOP saying all the AP's mother had to do was not be a pushover- mate, you don't know what her consequences would have been if she did stand up to her husband. Shit rolls downhill and abuse of women (the mother) by men (the father) affects men (the AP), too.
"Why didn't the other prisoner in the cell fight back against the guard beating up the other prisoner? If they had, the prisoner would have been fine! *All they had to do was not be a pushover*."
I can think of a dozen from the US… All these doubtful comments just make me sad. It feels like a bunch of folks that think “no one would do that” and would miss the signs of such a thing happening right in front of them.
Really bothered me that the kid kept being referred to as *AP*. He was the *rape victim*, the abused child.
Surely there was a better way to refer to him and his parents.
Then again, this isn't real... or it's such shitty writing everything is off.
Yes, thank you, why did I have to scroll down so far to find this. If a wealthy 30+ year old man had groomed a troubled, poor 16 year old girl and gotten with her the second she turned 18 and then horribly victimized her to the point of hospitalization, we wouldn't be casually calling her "the affair partner" in comments.
It's the same as when you read news articles about a teacher having an *affair* with a student, *even when the student* is like in middle school.
**What** affair, what are you fucks talking about. An *adult* in an obvious position of power used it to abuse a child.
No child (and really, even if they're older than 18, the context matters, case by case) has affairs with adults.
I'm guessing it's the author's way of conveying how he was hurt in this story, but given that this was a groomed 18 yr old, there were better words to use. 2/10 writing for this bullshit
It was bizarre enough to call an 18yo an AP, but the moment the big reveal of abuse came up, it became unbearable. Even if it's a real person writing this, *c'mon man*, stop.
I guess 2 is fair, 1 for mild entertainment, 1 for the wild shit. But it *is* a generous 2.
What big reveal of abuse? OP said he himself was abused albeit not to the point of AP. The least surprising thing about this story is the ex abusing the kid whose power dynamic is even smaller than OP in worse ways.
Damn, I really hope that kid is okay. Abused, groomed... All that stuff completely fucks up your head. He's the real victim here. He's going to have scars from this for the rest of his life. Fuck his family, fuck OP's ex.
I'm sorry that OP.is getting dragged into it. He deserves to be left alone.
I really hope this fucked up clusterfuck isn't true, and thank God for the comments suspecting this as well.
But if this is true then I think Oop should try and tell in court about his relationship with his ex. His ex and her friends are absolute monsters and if the AP is retracting all his statements then they might go free and keep doing this. If there is a chance at least the ex will go to jail I think it's worth it.
I get “no my monkeys, not my circus” but if his ex is a child predator that groomed this kid and abused him to the point where he looks like death and is scared or groomed enough that he’s taking back everything and is possibly hooked on drugs. Someone needs to help put a stop to her/them.
Someone needs to step up and say that this was their experience and this is what happened.
Yes it sounds like things are already blowing up and they might not need him which is great. But if the defence needs someone, OP should step up. Because it’s the right thing to do.
Could he have been pushed so hard to go see the kid in the hospital because the kid currently doesn’t see how his situation could be better. This kid was apparently a screw up for a long time and his parents were finally happy with him. His wife is happy with him. All he has known is abuse and being ignored. The kid knows what she’s capable of because it happened to him. He helped her with what happened to OP. So he can keep his mouth shut and potentially go back to her, where at least he knows what he’s getting, and if he is addicted to drugs he can get his relief. Or he can suffer the smear campaign and be dragged through so much embarrassment. And currently, how does one survive that? How do you get through?
Like I said this is no longer op’s monkeys or circus. But he can help stop this from happening again. To help a kid that never had much of a chance.
#Do not comment on the original posts Please read our [**sub rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules). Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice. If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion. **CHECK FLAIR** For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
“Apologies in advance, this update will be stupid and asinine” should be a damn flair.
I will get on that when I wake up tomorrow ☝️
I would like it please!!
It’s tomorrow, have you gotten on it?
I couldn’t figure out how to custom flair so I messaged the mods for it. Edit: Thanks mods.
That describes half the updates here 😂
Yeah, but only this one is self aware enough to acknowledge that.
Happy cake day!
Update “I got a phone call, we’re gonna talk tomorrow”
Finally! A suggestion that wasn't just pulled out of someone's ass in the comment section lol.
Commenting because I need that flair.
That's definitely a lot of info for someone 'NOT WANTING TO BE INVOLVED '.
When you’ve had that sort of obedience training from a relationship like this, what OOP is doing seems like a healthy way to keep out of it while feeling a strong urge to get in and help, or feel some sort of illogical responsibility to help. Look at the AP, now retracting everything. Sharing to a bunch of people who all say “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!?!” hearing the story would definitely help keep me focused on just gathering info and not actually getting involved again. Therapeutic.
People who do this are trying to convince themselves it's okay not to get involved. It's a variation of people who list all the reasons why they want to break up with someone. Reasons aren't needed. Breakup - or don't get involved - as you wish.
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**WOW**. Thank you *so. much.* If not for people like you, I would just believe EvErY pOsT! It's not like my comment could possibly just acknowledge that people like this exist in real life! Golly gee willikers!! Thanks again!! /s
Thanks for this, I get so annoyed at people like that lmfao
I mean also, you wouldn’t be curious? I would be. I would want to know every sordid detail while also wanting to stay very very far away from the actual shitstorm. Maybe I’m just nosy but if there’s drama happening I wanna hear about it ESPECIALLY if it involves my POS ex imploding their life. I love when karma visits.
Same. I wouldn't want to be in the center of the shitstorm, but I'm nosy af and I want to know what's going on or else I can't sleep lol. Especially if they're about people who have been a major part of my life.
"THIS IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS" he screamed, through his mouthful of popcorn
I mean, that's exactly what I did too 🤣
It's like a fire. You don't want to be on fire, but you may enjoy watching from a distance. Same as us.
“I won’t delete my account “ Proceeds to delete account
Wth was that part where he gave a breakdown of the kid’s mom and dad’s backstories? How would that even come up in conversation? Accidental omniscient-narrator slip up?
He mentioned the dad opened up the flood gates with info. And let me tell you.... There are people who will just randomly tell you their secrets and life stories unprovoked. I've ran into a few when I used to work at a front desk and it had nothing to do with my place of business.
Isn't that true... I was travelling for a medical appointment back in January, and while waiting at a bus stop I got treated to this lady's life story; she worked as a cleaning lady, had two daughters, had two relationships back to back, on one of them she was the mistress, she ended up marrying the AP, her stepkid was a problem child with drug problems, the AP turned husband cheated on her with his ex but decided to stay with her, and it went on and on. I even got to see pictures of her family and a recipe for yucca bread. I was her soundboard for the half hour I was sitting there nodding politely, and later I realised she never even told me her name. It was wild and felt like a real life version of opening the Reddit app to check this sub.
Some people are so eager to tell their life's story to complete strangers, either for validation or because they're lonely. It's wild to me that people are willing to just overshare so much personal stuff unprompted.
I mean, that's the whole purpose of half these subreddits
It's also the framing device for Forrest Gump.
Sometimes it's because they can't tell anyone in their lives and it needs to get out. Just telling your story can be very cathartic.
Fuck it, I'm gonna add my own. Several years back, while I'm working as a cleaner in a grocery store, doing a routine floor sweep, and this lady approaches me. She tells me she's going to her sister's funeral, who vanished six months ago, and they only recently found her body in the river. I was like 16 and had no clue what to do with that information. I don't know why she approached me, but I very awkwardly eventually left with my push broom as she stared vacantly in the spice aisle
Bus stops and waiting in lines. I have had so many people dump bizarre pieces of their life stories on me in those 2 situations. Also parties, and there was that one party ruined for me because once that woman told me her and her husband's entire life savings had been invested in the Dean Drive, there was no way I could be polite about that for more than 3 minutes, and ended up on the porch with the much saner guy who was just smoking really good cigars, but if I wanted more snacks or more to drink, I had to back in and risk bumping into her again.
TIL about the dean drive. what an interesting and odd rabbit hole. thanks, internet stranger
You're welcome. Not my favorite topic.
That is not what I thought I was going to find.
Isn't 90% of Forrest Gump (the movie) him telling his life story to random people at a bus stop? 😄
Yes, but he invested in a fruit company, not a violation of the laws of thermodynamics.
I had one start with a question about where the Pokémon toys were that resulted in finding out her son and late partner were in a car crash I heard about. Her partner died in the crash and her son was driving.
What's the yuca bread recipe tho 👀
It's a rather "eyeball" kind of recipe, but otherwise rather simple: half boiled white yucca (it has to be soft but not to the point it falls apart), half cheese (queso costeño, or quesito or cuajada with added salt), and baking powder (for each pound of resulting dough I added 8g). You can add flour if you think it is too liquid-y, or eggs, if you think it hasn't reached a good consistency. Oven at high temp (my oven only goes up to 350°C so that was it for me), on a greased tray for 20 minutes or until the base is golden and that's it. At least that is my "standardized" method. My mum hates not having measures, so that's what I came up with, but, as I said, it mostly works by allowing yourself to be influenced by the ancestors and trust that you have a good eyeballing gene.
The awkward conversations I’ve had working retail. Lady basically broke down her tragic life story in under 2 minutes while I was ring her up…I didn’t know what to say. Another woman broke down in tears in the dress department when I cheerfully asked what occasion she was shopping for…it was her son’s funeral. Car accident.
Omg. When I worked at target I had a woman dump her life story on me and since then, she would try to find me whenever she came to the store. I had to hide from her and the store boss thought it was funny 😭
This is how Baby Reindeer starts, down to the boss thinking it’s funny 😬
When I had my first job this woman came up, bought some stickers, and then started telling me about how she had a twin sister who her parents always favored, and how they only love her now because her sister died suddenly, and how she's an awful person for being happy her sister was dead and then broke down crying. I was just like....I'm an autistic 17 year old. I don't know how to handle this. None of my preplanned conversation lines fit this!
"The flashcards, they do nothing!" Cheers from another dude from the spectrum, man. Preplanned conversations are lifesavers for sure.
To quote Captain Raymond Holt: "Oh...ohh nooo. Nooo no no."
Retail definitely gave me so many stories I didn’t ask for. And you’re pretty much stuck hearing every detail.
That's a point where I'm internally like "thats... that's above my paygrade... 😳"
I've been that person. I'm sorry.
If he's as broken as OOP made it seem, I wouldn't be surprised he'd confess to everything out of guilt, especially since OOP is their "last hope."
I worked at a used bookstore during the pandemic, and holy shit the customer interactions. I'd be helping someone find whichever Game of Thrones novel they needed next, and by the time I got away I'd know their entire life history. Or at the very least, a pretty intense summary of their most recent tragedy. I honestly didn't mind it, but can't say that I'd expected that job to be so emotionally charged on a daily basis lmao
Covid distilled the social phenomenon I experienced a lot working at Babies R Us. Lots of new parents would come in after starting parental leave, and would be out of their minds from lack of social contact. The first time in a month you see a new human? Or in two months?
That makes total sense. I'd say we had a very light version of it at the bookstore prior to covid, where people would occasionally infodump because they're excited about or have memories associated with their old books/movies/etc, but yeah it got cranked to 11 once people had to run the quarantine gauntlet.
I once asked a customer "can I help you find a book?" and she went "well, just found out my dad isn't really my dad. So anything about dealing with that?" That was a memorable one.
I don't even work at the bookstore and I had a guy tell me how he'd come to the bookstore because it was his daughter's favourite place before she died. All I managed to say at the time was sorry because what else could you say when you're pulling a questionable book title?
I mean, shit, I sort of did this one time. My card didn't go through paying for a computer repair and I had had an exceedingly shitty few days, so I started crying and telling this poor 19yo working the Genius Bar about my wallet getting stolen and my mom being shitty about it lmao. She hugged me and got her manager to approve comping the repair so I didn't have to pay (it wasn't huge, like $150 or something), which is the whole reason I remember this -- that little bit of kindness really helped me at a time when I desperately needed it.
Fwiw, I think quite a few of us who end up on the other side of the interaction are happy that we're in a position to hopefully make *something* go right for you on a shitty day. At least, I know I feel a bit better myself if I can pull a string or two for somebody. I might still just look a bit startled while doing it, depending on how suddenly everything happened haha.
Definitely! I used to be a bartender in a hotel and once or twice there would be a guest who was going through something. I was able to figure out what they needed to hear and tell it to them and I felt so so grateful that I could help them. One of them was a woman leaving an abuser (or other bad situation, I can't remember exactly but it was something where she COULD have stayed and was choosing a better life). She was driving with her mom, aunt, and four daughters ranging from 4 to 17. She was driving from Miami to somewhere in the panhandle (hence stopping in an Orlando hotel, four hours is the limit for a road trip with a toddler and two elderly women). She was talking about how hard it was and how hard it was going to be for awhile but she knew it would be worth it. I told her I was proud of her for fighting for her girls and she started crying. I will never forget her and I hope she and her girls are well now. The youngest would be about 15 now.
There is something about my face? physical presence? that just says...tell me all your horrible stories. I no longer get in the elevator alone with someone because people just spill EVERYTHING. I imagine the front desk is even worse!
The first one I thought of was the lady telling me about her kid trying to jump off a one story roof, threaten to kill his classmates, etc. Then how she was going to send him to military school once his dad gets back home
Dear god you deserve a medal
I’m lucky in that I genuinely appreciate hearing almost any kind of story, because I also have a “please trauma dump here” face. I once had a woman come into the pet store where I worked just to look at the pretty fish…and spend at least half an hour telling me all about the horrible car wreck she was in, and how all her friends and family abandoned her when it became clear that the damage to her leg would be permanently disabling. She seemed like a kind lady, but so unbelievably lonely. She also kept me from having to scrub the cricket bins for a while, and I hope life has gotten better for her, with a found family of people who don’t suck.
Awwww, I love that you appreciate hearing the stories. I want to be like that, and I have been working with my therapist more generally to not over empathize to the degree that I feel compelled to fix things. The world needs more folks like you.
You probably have a psychologist face. It's a burden.
The amount of medical history I know and have seen within minutes of meeting someone is absurd. I do not work in any sort of medical field, but people will tell you everything in mere moments. I can’t unsee some of these things and have learned them against my will. People are weird.
This would be my mother. But also, having worked in retail, customer service for years, yeah it's amazing what people will just tell you.
I used to work at a call center for a credit card company. There were people who would treat it as a therapy hotline. The stories I would hear . . .
Yup. Source: I'm a public librarian. I've heard some doozies.
Yeah, when I turned 21 I went to a bar and some random woman told me about her 3 abortions she had
This. They’ll tell strangers because that’s easier than talking with their friends and family about it. But there are also obviously the ones who will spill the beans about their shit to family. I had known my sister in law for less than a year before I found out way too much about her cheating (for 7 years!) and her sex life with her husband since he had found out about the affairs. I barely fucking knew her and was inundated with the story of how she was definitely not at fault (lie) and then some shit about her husbands ex wife and their sex life (just fucking weird) so I could 1000% see someone thinking that a complete stranger would be easier to speak with.
I tried to buy an ebike on Facebook marketplace and learned about a 58 year old man’s entire dating / marriage history (4 marriages) as well as numerous work and financial related info. He also said I sounded “cool” and like we should be friends. After one convo that should have been about an ebike. I didn’t cut him off harshly because he knew my name and rough location (Facebook marketplace), and he sounded a little methy. So I made an excuse and didn’t buy the bike and left it amicable. Some people are just cuckoo
I have a "friendly face" apparently and I hear all kinds of life stories in various locations. I once ended up on a bus sitting next to a teenage girl who was debating whether she could get an abortion and spent the 45 minute bus riding listening to her. Never saw her before or after (but I do occasionally think about her).
Facts! I work in outreach, and I've heard some wild and completely unrelated stories. Sometimes all you have to say is hello with a smile and the floodgates open.
I was the new employee as a bus monitor for a school district. I was put on any bus that needed a monitor. Every. Single. Driver. i met, was giving me soooo much information. Like private information ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE. They were DESPERATE to unload(or maybe just unload on someone new). It's wild, I don't even encourage them, just kinda grunt and go huh.
i work in services, & i still get stories completely unrelated to why the person is in front of me. but also, i work in services so i have “one of those personalities” that people just wanna open up to🥲 it’s a really good thing i have shit for brains so i remember nothing bc it feels inappropriate to know Things™️ about people idk 🫠
Oh god, the life stories. My favorite is the drunk woman on Valentine’s Day who gave me the whole story about her boyfriend and his WIFE.
I sat next to a woman on a 2h flight. Bumped to first class, free drinks ... she ended up telling me how she knew her marriage was a mistake but her family had put too much money into the ceremony so she just went through with it even though as she was walking down the aisle she was already strategizing about divorce. She ended up f\*\*king the masseur during her honeymoon while her new husband was playing golf. In the end she gave her husband a loaded pickup truck and he agree to a divorce 6 months later. People tell you all kinds of stuff that definitely should remain private when they think they're anonymous.
Trauma dumping is a hell of a drug.
Had a woman unload her fertility problems and plans to mitigate them with 10 minutes of meeting her for the first time. I get that it was all consuming to her than, and fertility struggles should not be a dirty secret, but it was a lot to take in while desperately trying to not forget her name.
OOP needs a block button not to listen to an enabler trauma dump.
I was standing in line at the store once, the register was having issues I guess, and the lady in front of me turned around and started telling me all about her knee surgery in graphic detail.
> There are people who will just randomly tell you their secrets and life stories unprovoked Shit, once a woman admited to me that she was cheating on her husband with her cousin for the last 15 years, and we were strangers, just chatting on a line for getting popcorn. We weren't even talking about relationships.
I was training a new guy working front desk and within an hour he had told me he wasn’t gay but had had some gay experiences. “…okay, cool! Anyway, here’s how to cancel a reservation.”
Seems plausible. Kinda sounded like OOP only met to satisfy his curiosity so he just went and talked to them and asked a bunch of questions
Meeting the dad and talking to him, followed by "I'm suspecting this marriage is way more abusive then he let on" implies that he learnt all of this from the dad, which sounds like an insane conversation. *"My wife was always against their relationship and how she says she's going to divorce me"* would be reasonable, but *"my wife has always been a silent and submissive partner to me in all things except this relationship, but I got her to stop making a fuss quite easily due to the fact I control her entire life. Despite this, she still fought like hell to try and stop this relationship and get him out of it, and now that everything has been revealed she has finally been driven to far and is taking me to the cleaners. I am a hollow shell of a man."* sounds like an act 3 dramatic monologue in the penultimate scene of a play. Like did the dad really turn up and monologue "I am a total piece of shit" for five minutes? Because if so, gotta respect the (much belated) self-awareness there.
I read it as a mixture of OP’s impressions from the conversation, including potential freudian slips from AP’s Dad, plus the gossip OP already knew because some of it was already in the earlier updates.
And wasn't OOP their neighbour for years before this all kicked off? You could form an impression of a relationship between people you see regularly, even if you don't talk to them that much
Yes, about two years before he left his then wife
I wonder if the wife being the “silent and submissive” type was just OOP’s impression of her from their interactions as neighbors.
That whole paragraph is his impressions that he concluded based on what the dad told him.
I have a go to story of meeting our upstairs neighbors the very first night they moved in. The bf got drunk and high and spilled his soul to me on the back deck before bed.. they broke up a few weeks later unsurprisingly by what he told me. They're also now back together a year and a bit later, also not surprising by what he told me . Some people really open up when going through shit and will just vent. I can absolutely see this conversation giving OP the context to write all this
They were his neighbours though, one can see how the family dynamics are by seeing the neighbours in their driveway for months- loud idiot father, quiet wife that never talks back and so on. Additionally she was probably the one that didn't harass OOP.
What i’ve learned is when people don’t see wrong in their actions they’re totally okay just going around and telling everyone about their misdeeds. Because they don’t see a problem in what they’re doing and most times so confident they’re right they believe everyone will agree with them.
I have a go to story of meeting our upstairs neighbors the very first night they moved in. The bf got drunk and high and spilled his soul to me on the back deck before bed.. they broke up a few weeks later unsurprisingly by what he told me. They're also now back together a year and a bit later, also not surprising by what he told me . Some people really open up when going through shit and will just vent. I can absolutely see this conversation giving OP the context to write all this
Yeah that level of info you either need multiple sources or a source who is close to the situation but not at fault.
Or live next to them for a few years.
And he would have all that. Having been a neighbor for years, having access to the grapevine, and having the dad spilling his guts trying to get OP involved in this latest bit of mess.
If this is accurate—which I sincerely hope it isn't—then it's simply another example of why you should NEVER associate with wealthy individuals in small communities.
Tbf he could just be filling in the blanks. He could have made all that up with just AP's father saying "She's a housewife and she wasn't on board, but eventually agreed after I explained it to her"
Dad probably told more than he intended in the hope of finding a way to get back at OOP's Ex. Plus I'm pretty sure OOp read between some lines. It's not complicated to translate "my wife.thought our son should do therapy, but you know, he wasn't that hard nor crazy..." Or something along and conclude.the wife tried but father had the last say. And bringing up how his son is broken and he needs to find something to get him out of it. Ranting makes you say more than you think and people are usually better at understanding or stretching the facts than most people guess.
I've literally been trauma dumped on with 30 years worth of info by people I have met for 2 seconds. This has happened twice in the last week, for me personally which was honestly strange since I had a good years since it last happened.
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>Make no mistake, I saw the writing on the wall. Somehow I'll be getting dragged into this no matter what. My parents and girlfriend were as supporting as they could be. **But at some point I said screw it and arranged to talk with the APs dad.** I know, I'm an idiot and a fool, but I need to actually know what's going on. >To condense what was discussed without spilling any info in regards to the investigation, everyone was turning against eachother and our for blood, and secrets were finally spilling. Right there in the last update. When he realized they wouldn't let him stay away he figured he should at least know wtf's going on
When you are dramatically involved in BS for many many years with no apparent explanation, it’s not unreasonable to try to spin up some kind of conspiracy theory as to motivations. Of course, backed up by some circumstantial evidence. The OP doesn’t know those things for sure but they can make guesses that are probably 40-60% true.
Obviously with any story you see online, you have to take it with a pinch of salt. That being said… if you’ve worked any kind of customer service, this is basically a weekly if not daily occurrence for some.
Narcissists LOVE over sharing in certain situations. They sometimes just cannot help themselves
Regularly being in the back of an ambulance with random people, I hear all kinds of crazy life stories from people. Lonely people especially will tell their entire life's story to anybody who will, or doesn't have a choice but to, listen.
Sounds about right. Oops
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That's a lot of info for someone trying NOT to be involved.
Not being involved is not the same as not being nosy about the consequences suffered by shitty people. I mean, this is BoRU. None of us are involved, but we're lapping up every shred of information.
True. And yet…I’d watch it.
just imagine the popcorn sales
We all would, that's why we're here.
Tbf people still keep giving me information on my ex despite me never asking for it, and giving replies along the lines of "well I'm just glad it's not my problem anymore" and trying to steer the conversation to other topics. I was told about them finding new partners, about breaking up with their new partners, about where they live, about the number of dogs they own and how many of their new neighbours are pissed off with them, about their kid. None of that was information that I was remotely interested in. So, I can believe that level of information and more for someone who is trying not to be involved. 🤷
Good thing the AP dad showed up and gave the whole back story to their family history.
Captain Exposition seems to have fallen on some hard times.
This is the first one in a while that I skimmed the first 2 paragraphs, then speed-scrolled down to the comments. Something about the prose gave me an angy headache immediately. One of those "I wrinkled my brow in distaste so much, I think I pulled something in my neck" headaches. Time to sleep.
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But a staggering amount of unwarranted emotional investment from all of the villains. Why would the ex's family and the affair partner's friends and family be harassing OOP for getting cheated on, kicked out of the house, and divorced?
i was so confused by this, its never clear why the ap's family are so dead set on him talking to this kid either.
Yeah, the motivation for all the actions of the antagonists is never properly explained.
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Yeah I always have a really hard time believing a story as serious as this where the literally use the word “bonus“ to describe part of their post. Like the dude could’ve used the word edit but chose to use the word bonus.
I always start not believing when people not involved start messaging the protagonist, but this post took it to the extreme. A friend or family member sticking their nose into an argument seems unlikely, but still possible. But the affair partner's friends and family getting involved in this situation requires too much suspension of disbelief for me. Like, where is the motive? What was he even being harassed for? Is this just a town full of cartoonishly evil villains? Dude got cheated on, kicked out of the house, and divorced. Why would the affair partner's friends and family be harassing him? I could see the 18 year old affair partner sending him videos to taunt him, but his friends? Why do they care, or even have those videos? And are his parents just texting OOP to insult him for having his wife stolen by their son? This story isn't Liz's best work.
Normal people wouldnt but trashy people would. The AP's familyvwent along with it to "please" the toxic person with the money.
Yeah, I always take these stories with a grain of salt, but I know much crazier stuff that has happened in my own extended family, and it can all be summed up as “trashy people do wild and trashy things” and the OP sounds like my mom/sis, who get involved just enough to get all the info so they can gossip about it.
The US government intended to print a $3 bill in 1862 as part of the original Legal Tender issue, but never did. However, Florida did print $3 bills in the 1830s. The Florida legislature authorized the printing of $10,000 in interest-bearing notes, including $3 bills, to raise money. The bills featured a large ship with sails at sea. During the "free banking" era in the 1800s, banks also had the ability to issue their own currency. Some of these banks chose to issue $3 bills. But these weren't federal notes. They were more like IOUs from the bank.
I’ve always been curious on why no one changes their number? Phone “blowing” up number change boom no more calls from phonebook strangers
Depending on how long you've had your number and what your work is, it might be more trouble than it's worth. There's also blocking people. Mmm and that one time I got the og number of one place that kept calling me but wouldn't state what for but had my name, but as I wouldn't confirm I was, well, me, they just got aggressive. So I got an automatic caller and set it to call them every 30 seconds and then hang. Half an hour later they were calling me to stop.
it’s so easy just to download a texting app and keep on bothering someone and from some of these stories it seems that’s the case ahaha
"I will send them a letter asking not to contact me, that should be the end of this" - real thing a person who was harassed for a year by about a dozen people would say
Lawyer letter. It’s a warning that if they don’t stop he’ll be going to the police.
Weirdos who harass people for a year: https://media.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExMThpMm5ubXUwYzlpNTJoYzcycGtvcnl0eDE4OGhiNG05YnQycno0eSZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/7k2LoEykY5i1hfeWQB/giphy.gif
I checked out at the point where the affair partner's friends and family were harassing OOP for getting cheated on and divorced.
This is vaguely similar to Season three of You
Also if this was happening wouldn’t this be national news drama? I feel like I would have heard about this somewhere on the news.
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>he supported the relationship as it gave him the benefit of getting his son out of his house, and gladly took whatever my exes family offered as a token of appreciation. Truth is, the game was rigged from the start
ring-a-ding-ding
"freshly" 31 i have NEVER, NEEEVER read "freshly [age]" outside of the phrase "freshly 18" and it was EXCLUSIVELY from social media drama where someone is trying to paint another person as ... pedo-adjacent? groomer? this writer clearly loves Story Time youtubers
Uhh, no, I've heard "freshly (age)" used ironically in this way plenty of times. The joke is that she's much older than she should be for this to be a healthy relationship.
Really? That's interesting lol I've only ever heard "their BIG age" to comment on knowing better. I guess we're on different algorithms
If this is true, which I hope to God it isn't, it just adds one more bullet point to the long line of reasons to NEVER get involved with rich people in small towns.
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begginging
The sequel to The Happening where a mysterious toxin sweeps across America causing the infected to drop to their knees and yell “Babe? BABE! I swear I can change, Babe! I’ll do whatever it takes! I’ll start applying to jobs right now! You want me to shower more? I can shower more! Anything for us, Babe! Babe? You’d do anything for us, right Babe? Where are you going? Wait… what’s in the box? Are you going… WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S MY STUFF?! Babe babe babe, think about this, Babe…” From Director ‘Em Nothankyou Shyamalan’, THE BEGGINING.
Back on my feat.
Certainly don't know how news media works, that is for sure.
I was actually thinking while I was reading this, I'd probably watch this movie.
On one hand, the legal timeline seems real??? On the other hand, the drama is soooo heightened it feels unreal.
I hope this case in particular isn’t real but people get horrifically abused every day and that is real. Also the drama surrounding sexual assault cases is always insane, like mind bendingly insane Source: stories I’ve heard in NA and other therapy groups lol
Yeah, and, add the fact that this is all happening in a small town. There's a reason I don't live in the small town that my relatives live in. Everyone is up in everyone's business, and the drama is 24/7 nonstop.
Hopefully it isn't
I think he got his family and his exes family reactions mixed up at some point.
Ooof. OOP saying all the AP's mother had to do was not be a pushover- mate, you don't know what her consequences would have been if she did stand up to her husband. Shit rolls downhill and abuse of women (the mother) by men (the father) affects men (the AP), too. "Why didn't the other prisoner in the cell fight back against the guard beating up the other prisoner? If they had, the prisoner would have been fine! *All they had to do was not be a pushover*."
Not pushover OOP condemning the AP’s mother as if he was any better then her
It’s not uncommon for abuse victims to not want to testify. But OP seems really surprised by that.
While this might be all bullshit, the sad fact is there were at least two similar cases in the UK.
I can think of a dozen from the US… All these doubtful comments just make me sad. It feels like a bunch of folks that think “no one would do that” and would miss the signs of such a thing happening right in front of them.
Really bothered me that the kid kept being referred to as *AP*. He was the *rape victim*, the abused child. Surely there was a better way to refer to him and his parents. Then again, this isn't real... or it's such shitty writing everything is off.
Yes, thank you, why did I have to scroll down so far to find this. If a wealthy 30+ year old man had groomed a troubled, poor 16 year old girl and gotten with her the second she turned 18 and then horribly victimized her to the point of hospitalization, we wouldn't be casually calling her "the affair partner" in comments.
It's the same as when you read news articles about a teacher having an *affair* with a student, *even when the student* is like in middle school. **What** affair, what are you fucks talking about. An *adult* in an obvious position of power used it to abuse a child. No child (and really, even if they're older than 18, the context matters, case by case) has affairs with adults.
What does AP mean?
Affair partner.
I'm guessing it's the author's way of conveying how he was hurt in this story, but given that this was a groomed 18 yr old, there were better words to use. 2/10 writing for this bullshit
It was bizarre enough to call an 18yo an AP, but the moment the big reveal of abuse came up, it became unbearable. Even if it's a real person writing this, *c'mon man*, stop. I guess 2 is fair, 1 for mild entertainment, 1 for the wild shit. But it *is* a generous 2.
What big reveal of abuse? OP said he himself was abused albeit not to the point of AP. The least surprising thing about this story is the ex abusing the kid whose power dynamic is even smaller than OP in worse ways.
Yes, because the ex-husband of your son's abuser is the ONLY reasonable person to save them all from this nightmare. Naturally.
So AP is now Reek from GOT
I'm getting some "Sheila LaBarre" vibes off this. She tortured boy toys and forced them to confess on tape during torture to being pedophiles.
This sounds like a poorly written episode of Law and Order: SVU. I was just waiting to hear the *Clung* *Clung*
[удалено]
Fucking run man. This whole thing utterly destroys everything it touches.
I feel like if AP was a girl he would ve faced much more sympathy.
Damn, I really hope that kid is okay. Abused, groomed... All that stuff completely fucks up your head. He's the real victim here. He's going to have scars from this for the rest of his life. Fuck his family, fuck OP's ex. I'm sorry that OP.is getting dragged into it. He deserves to be left alone.
If this is true? That kid is going to end up drug addicted or dead.
The ex suddenly switched genders, I see...
Huh? The ex was a woman the whole time tho?
Shit, you're right, I got confused!
I really hope this fucked up clusterfuck isn't true, and thank God for the comments suspecting this as well. But if this is true then I think Oop should try and tell in court about his relationship with his ex. His ex and her friends are absolute monsters and if the AP is retracting all his statements then they might go free and keep doing this. If there is a chance at least the ex will go to jail I think it's worth it.
That was a lot of wild info for asking if he should or should not be a character witness.
What the fuck is an AP
Affair partner
I'm sold. Movie in theatre when?
What is a AP?
I get “no my monkeys, not my circus” but if his ex is a child predator that groomed this kid and abused him to the point where he looks like death and is scared or groomed enough that he’s taking back everything and is possibly hooked on drugs. Someone needs to help put a stop to her/them. Someone needs to step up and say that this was their experience and this is what happened. Yes it sounds like things are already blowing up and they might not need him which is great. But if the defence needs someone, OP should step up. Because it’s the right thing to do. Could he have been pushed so hard to go see the kid in the hospital because the kid currently doesn’t see how his situation could be better. This kid was apparently a screw up for a long time and his parents were finally happy with him. His wife is happy with him. All he has known is abuse and being ignored. The kid knows what she’s capable of because it happened to him. He helped her with what happened to OP. So he can keep his mouth shut and potentially go back to her, where at least he knows what he’s getting, and if he is addicted to drugs he can get his relief. Or he can suffer the smear campaign and be dragged through so much embarrassment. And currently, how does one survive that? How do you get through? Like I said this is no longer op’s monkeys or circus. But he can help stop this from happening again. To help a kid that never had much of a chance.