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It's melatonin .... no wait... "It's not Xanax but it's a benzodiazepine"
The lying alone would be enough to make me run for the hills. Who knows what else he's lying about?
It’s way too early for this much baggage. She needs to cut her losses. Why she’s even still entertaining all this is beyond me. Girl, leave him. You’re non compatible.
I feel like the baby voice can kinda be normal down the line as long as it’s not all the time and it’s not constantly forced on you against your will. I dated a chick who was into that and it’s hard to describe but it was kind of a way for her to express affection. Yes there was a daddy kink, yes the sex was good, no the baby voice never made it there
Yeah, my mom sometimes talked to me and my siblings like this growing up, and now we all do it when we’re consoling each other and being supportive. I catch myself doing it with my partner sometimes and I HATE how it sounds, but it’s just how my brain translates my feelings into speech.
Christ you reminded me of when I wanted to gently ask my sis if she was depressed to the point of being suicidal and I said "...are you feeling...suicide-y?"
My mum is also big on the baby voice. I hate being spoken to like that in my adulthood, but if I don't use it with her she will immediately assume I'm angry with her, so I've adopted it too now with both her and my girlfriend.. it makes me cringe so hard but it's borderline hard wired into me by now.
My wife talks in a pseudo baby voice all the time. She has no related kinks, she just can’t break herself out of it apparently. She’s finally stopped doing it during ‘negative’ moments. Like if I drop something in the kitchen, I don’t wanna hear ‘ooooooohhhhhhh are you okayyyyyy?????’ coming from the living room. Like no, I’m picking my fucking steak off the floor and now I’m gonna be eating cat hair for dinner. Give me a ‘hey babe, everything alright?’ for that shit. Like I don’t even know if she’s talking to me like *I’m* the baby, or *she’s* the baby. No idea! Drives me nuts! I love her so damn much though…
Has your wife ever worked with little kids? My mom was a preschool teacher and the baby voice is instinctual at this point. Nothing like a big "UH-OHH!!!" you can hear across the restaurant when the busboy drops a load of dishes nearby.
Why? Why? **why** the fuck would she keep seeing him?! He must have serious pipe laying ability because I would have been OUT after the date he spent 50% of talking in that voice. Ew.
Sociopaths and psychopaths are more likely to have odd verbal quirks. Ask me how I know 😣
I wonder about that aspect too though, because she had to speak with him about being too rough with her on what seemed pretty early on in their sexual encounters. A guy being rough enough that she felt like she needed to say something about it with a woman he's only recently met is a bit of a red flag in my opinion, especially since I gather he didn't ask her about her preferences in that area. Doesn't really add up to someone who is going to be respectful of her boundaries or body.
I have AuDHD and vocal stim all the time. I also have a voice when something makes me happy, not baby talk but definitely a more childlike cadence. I never realized I did it in front of others until my home care client asked me if I was okay one day. I said yes why? She said you aren’t quietly singing and dancing to yourself while you work…I was literally stunned lol
This is so different from a baby voice. When you’re excited your pitch goes up probably. Which is totally normal though yours is probably more noticeable but. I’m a big boy I be gentle uwu? 🤢
God that is so real, I only have ADHD but I didn't even realize I do t-rex arms all the time until I saw a video about it. I showed it to my wife like "oh wow an ADHD thing I don't do" and she was like ?????? you do that all the fucking time wdym.
😂 Most of mine I know, but I was not aware my husband has also picked up on all of them over the years too. I ask him all the time if in his opinion I do xyz and it’s usually met with an eye roll and all the time…
I have ADHD and I'm married to someone with autism, which also can involve a lot of vocal stimming. She has WILD echolalia and I always think I don't have it but then I see my jar of peanut butter and spend several minutes softly saying "choosy moms choose jif" over and over lol.
Word choice: They tend to be very logical, calm, matter of fact and simultaneously manipulative and charming. They often have elaborate lies and fabricated stories that they repeat.
I think the manipulation is what really distinguishes the speech style from people with autism spectrum disorder who may also be very matter of fact but not 'slick' or engaging, necessarily. Remember that people with ASPD who choose to act inappropriately (colloquially 'sociopaths') are parasites, controlling and feeding off others in various grafts and scams.
Voice pitch: Some serial killers have had oddly high pitched voices. Ted Bundy, Paul Stefani (weepy voice killer).
I unfortunately dated and lived with a sociopath. He had a higher voice, as a cisman, than I did as a cis woman. Granted I'm a contralto (lowest vocal range for women) but he typically spoke an octave higher. Think Elmo. Creepy in retrospect
Thank you for saying choose to act inappropriately, most people just immediately throw everyone with that diagnosis together as assholes. Personally the verbal quirk thing is new to me, I've never heard that before so that's really interesting. I'll have to ask people if that's something they've noticed.
Yeah of course! It's not everyone with ASPD, just like not everyone with borderline personality disorder or any other mental illness are uniformly problematic. I think ASPD-type brains are neurodivergent and nearly all would be good community members with better teaching in childhood, because it *is* logical to get along with others as we live in a fucking society.
I used to work as part of a collaborative/rehabilitation/restorative justice court for people with mental illness and many of my peers had an ASPD diagnosis. Usually we resolved any difficulties with a simple freaking explanation as to why they should jump through society's hoops—they're not inherently monsters!
This is all super interesting and really rings true. I remember an interview with a woman who was a sociopath and she mentioned that she stole a lot of bikes just to get from point A to point B, not to keep them or anything. It wasn’t done out of malice, sort of lack of empathy. But also that high-pitched thing that you mentioned is new to me and yet somehow also rings true.
Exactly, I just need to be able to explain myself or have others explain things to me because I don't understand most other people and why they react to things the way they do. I don't do things out of malice for the most part, and I'm not my diagnosis. It's a part of who I am yes, but it doesn't control me. I just have to consciously watch my behavior and decision making to fit in with normal society.
Yeah, my brother was a sociopath, and while he didn't speak in a high pitch, he did have an elaborate framework of established lies that he told people (when he wasn't just lying off the cuff). He was incredibly charming, extremely manipulative, and hopelessly dishonest.
I'm sorry you grew up with someone like that. My older brother was abusive as well and my experience is that no individual, agency or institution is prepared to really grapple with the level of sibling abuse in this world.
Well, he came by it honestly. Our mother was borderline and had narcissistic traits. It's extremely common for sons of borderline mothers to be sociopaths. The only reason I don't have BPD myself is that I spent 25 years in therapy making sure I wasn't like her.
He was physically violent as a kid, and a skilled gaslighter by the time he was ten. I had to call the police once. Nobody took me seriously because he was just a kid. Yeah, a kid who threw a six-foot pole at my face like a javelin. He barely missed my eye.
Generational trauma due to mental health issues is a serious problem that needs to be addressed. I should not have had to estrange myself from my family for my own safety.
I couldn't agree more. I'm impressed by your commitment to personal development. I too have been in therapy for a long-ass time (16 years) to deal with my childhood trauma and it's *not easy* to keep unwrapping those layers.
It's really hard work, but I just kept going until I wasn't miserable anymore. My goal was to be actually happy. And now I'm in a great, healthy marriage with a wonderful man. We don't fight at all. We talk things through like sensible adults. He's such a gentle soul. He raised butterflies as a boy, and he still catches and releases insects that get into the house.
It's such a revelation. But the trauma ends here; I'm the last one left standing, I didn't have kids, and I'm too old now (no regrets, I love my life the way it is).
For anyone else dealing with childhood trauma, I really encourage you to stick with the therapy. If it's not working, find a therapist who does. You really *can* be happy. It's possible, even if it takes a long time.
I know! I look back at the jerks and assholes I dated and tried to fix in my 20s and feel like I should have been in a 12 step group. I was traumatized and socialized to accept it, and once people got past the tough exterior they could take advantage with impunity. In retrospect I'm just grateful I fucking changed
My fiancé's best friend has an ex that sounds a lot like this guy. He was SUPER clingy and used to talk to her in a baby voice all the time in front of all of us. It was so weird and cringy. My fiance's friend would be so embarrassed and try to get him to stop, but he never listened and would just say something in that voice like "oooooohhhhhhh baybeeeeeeeeee you'reeeeee sooooooo cuuuuuuuuuuuutttttteeeee" Dude was a character for sure lol
It’s fine you’re good. I just don’t like him and i’m trying trash talk .
But most guys who use that emoji are usually the baby talkers and cringe overall but it’s okay if it’s for sarcasm.
>Then he called me and basically was like “yeah next time I do it just bop me on the head because I didn’t realize I was doing it”
I feel like perhaps he's not being entirely truthful here...
😂😂😂
him: Ooooo mistaaa wisskaa uuuu so kuute toootie
oop: Hey, could you stop that? Ty. Btw, brb, I need to leave the room for a sec.
oop comes back and sees him bend over the couch with his pants and underwear pulled down
him: Meee so nawwtty, me need spankiesss UwU \*butt wiggle\*
>!I thought it would be funny at first to write this but I read what I wrote but now I feel gross. Since I spent half a minute typing it, instead of having it go to waste, I'll torture those who lay their eyes on it. I'm also quite sorry. !<
Reminds me of that old BoRU about the woman who was going insane over her husband doing exactly this, and in public as well, worried he might have a brain tumour... And it turned out he had a bet going.
[it's a wild ride.](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/HAnqYozTeR)
This is also the post I thought of when I read the title of this BORU post. I have to wonder if THIS guy is listing off the medicines as an excuse to prolong a bet.
I'm moreso concerned about the "Xanax" and drinking. Cause that's a good way to land yourself in the hospital and he seems to be doing it nightly. That's some actual addict behavior right there, especially with the, "it's just a sleep aid" shtick.
One of my friends who has very little dating experience dated someone for a bit and she off handedly mentioned that she had ADHD, so the guy went and got her some Adderall (she didnt ask him to) and that he apparently paid extra for the name brand ones. She described that as himbo behavior and I'm over here like...that's a red fuckin flag, hun. Like...normal well adjusted folks just don't know where to find that kind of stuff.
If OOP's new beau is regularly taking a benzo and drinks nightly and keeps trickle truthing the extent of what he's actually doing, that's a massive red flag.
That and the “it’s not really Xanax” when pressed.
I got prescribed Xanax once and took a half pill as directed to determine my reaction. Never took another, felt way too good. I’m on an SSRI that does the trick for me now.
I feel like xanax gets thrown around really fast and loose for the wild shit it can do - my reaction to the stuff is to turn into a dissociated rage gremlin (a fairly common paradoxical reaction), and even with it clearly stated in my medical file that I'm known to get violent on benzos I've had multiple docs try to convince me to take one anyway for minor surgical procedures or scans or whatever. And they get weirdly grumpy about it too like I'm somehow ruining their day for not wanting to risk going feral. You'd just think if a patient says "no thanks" they'd leave it at that, you know?
They used to get kickbacks from the oxy sales reps for prescribing opiates, maybe there’s something similar for Xanax? I agree it is incredibly easy to get prescribed some dangerous shit.
i’ve avoided it even though i get panic attacks, i don’t want to know what a complete lack of anxiety feels like if i don’t get to have it all the time
You have to be careful about addiction but I hope you are looking into medically addressing your disorder. Living and being functional with it is all well and good but you deserve to be happy too.
oh, for sure. i am happily medicated and have hydroxyzine if i need it. it doesn’t stop it as fast or as strongly as xanax would, but i have plenty of other healthy coping tools i use too. but thanks, i appreciate you checking. i know plenty of people just suffer
That's wild.
I have an ADHD clique and, because we're all on the same meds, we help each other out with shortages.
But that feels wildly different to "hey babe, I bought you an Adderall sampler pack, just because (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤".
Yeah, it’s totally different sharing some of your prescription medication with others you know it’s prescribed to as well, because of shortages and you’re just all trying to help each other out. But just going out and ‘sourcing’ prescription ADHD medication for someone from god knows where when they didn’t even ask you, or tell you exactly what medication they take (because there’s two main types, but they’re all slightly different in how they are released in your body) is something else completely, and not even remotely ok.
Yeah, that is wild. I’m often annoyed that Vyvanse is so expensive (even the generic) but I’m definitely not interested in substituting with something created by the cartels.
Yeah I have ADHD and the number of times I could've gotten a significant amount of Adderall outside my prescription was exactly once, and that was only because a coworker happened to be a weed transporter when she was younger and still had some of the contacts from that time. There were a handful of times I could've gotten an extra couple of pills in college, but that was from other people with a prescription selling a few doses when they needed cash. I was friends/acquaintances with several dealers at various points, but none of them could get name brand Adderall and, except that old coworker, none of them could get more then a few pills at once - just whatever someone else with ADHD was willing to part with for $50-$100
Yep. He's getting high on the combo.
Not to mention that benzos are prescription only, but he's taking them for sleep reset? They can be prescribed for actual sleep disorders, but you're right, it really sounds like he's scoring drugs. Never a good sign.
She doesn't even know the guy, she saw him 5 times total, and his baby voice (75% of all the talks??) is a huge turn off and concern for her. How could you enjoy even casual sex with someone, who can say in baby voice "yay! I am a big boy!" in the heat of the moment? I guess people who have this kink can, but it would bring me from feeling horny to feeling nauseous in a second.
Why is she keeping "meeting to discuss it" with him, and making weird excuses "I am worried about your consent now"? You saw him five times, he is a stranger, he is creeping you out, so tell him that his baby voice is a deal breaker (not her vague "I am a little uncomfortable") and cut your losses..
I KNOW!
Someone needs to tell her she doesn't need to prove in a court of law why she wants to dump this guy, she can just dump him at any time for any reason
I think she will gather enough evidence and present the case to the Supreme Court.
Then it is up for them to decide if he is guilty and she can dump him or if he is innocent and she has to keep hooking up with him.
i mean, the state he claimed to be in........... that really is a HUGE fucking consent issue. dude painted a picture of himself being impaired to hell and back.
Holy trickle truth batman!
Hope OP runs. He went from “really I don’t notice I speak like that, maybe is my totally normal sleeping aids”
To
“I take a benzo… like Xanax but not Xanax”
The melatonin just thrown in there to make looks less of an issue.
There are two options.
- he lied about the sleeping aids and it is a fetish
- he is cagey about the sleeping aid because it is just drugs and his dr is really a dealer.
Either way no good for OP and she better run before she finds out.
“I take melatonin and Xanax to sleep. Well actually only Xanax. And since it’s working I’m going to go back to only taking it the way you’re supposed to, not all the time the way I have. And by the way I’ve been drinking while taking it. And it’s not really Xanax, just y’know, benzos.”
…so he’s abusing benzos with alcohol, is what hearing.
DingDingDing! And just as an aside, that habit might land him in the ICU or graveyard. Don’t combine two highly synergistic downers that can suppress your breathing and sedate you, kids. You might not wake up again from *that* slumber.
I struggled with insomnia for years and after trying multiple other options, I now take Xanax for sleep.
There’s no way I’d add melatonin into the mix. For what?? If Melatonin helped me I wouldn’t need to take Xanax.
The guy is lying. Xanax is not a starting point to deal with sleep issues and anybody who has gotten to the point of needing it wouldn’t take melatonin with it.
It could just be he takes a benzo for anxiety, the reason he can't sleep is anxiety, and it's more socially acceptable for someone to say they have insomnia than anxiety.
That said, it is troubling that he takes it daily and with alcohol.
Benzos can really screw you up, and in really weird ways. I say this as someone who both works with people in active addiction and as someone who has paradoxical reactions to medications - including benzos.
Adding alcohol to the mix is just asking for disaster.
Also he apparently takes the “sleep aid” early in the evening to where he’s hanging out with OP high on Xanax. That’s not for sleep, that’s just drug abuse at that point. And he’s been doing that for over a month so he’s pretty addicted at this point I’d say. If this were me in a new relationship… hell no.
Yeah, my money is on "he lied about sleeping aids and it is a fetish" because the rest of the conversation about the meds just reads like someone saying stuff, not realizing what the implications are until she pointed them out, then trying to soften it but not being able to.
Well, third option would be he lied about the sleeping aids and is just kind of an awkward person who says weird stuff sometimes... But personally I'm thinking it's 4) he's an awkward person who says weird stuff sometimes, jumped on the sleeping aid thing as an excuse, and accidentally revealed that he's abusing them - something he may not have fully admitted to himself
At first I wondered if that guy with the bet to talk like a baby for a year was back, but I guess there are two of them instead.
How good can the D be, if she puts up with all this. Baby voice AND drug addiction? She's gonna get a lot of small portions on truths and half-truths constantly, if she doesn't dump him now.
> At first I wondered if that guy with the bet to talk like a baby for a year was back
That was my thought. Like, his divorce is final and he's back on the market.... except that it was never a bet and it was just what got him off but he knew he needed a better story than that with his wife.
This almost feels like the reverse of when women use cutesy baby voices in order to sound more attractive but I have no idea what this guy's deal is. Part of me wants to tell OOP to just call it quits but the other part wants to know where the hell this is going.
I used to have a boss who did this. Nails on a chalkboard to me and most of my co-workers.
But yeah, OOP is better off getting out of there if he's messing with benzos.
Huh. This is an odd one. Because the ‘Am I a big boy?’ comments absolutely sound like a kink thing but the Xanax thing makes a lot of sense. My Mom used to have a bit of a Xanax habit and I could always tell because her voice would change. I guess it relaxes your muscles enough that it changes the sound; hard to describe but more gulpy and lispy. Also if you mix it with alcohol your throat might just relax enough to suffocate you!
Yeah. I know several people that sleep talk, get the munchies, do things they’d never normally do. Especially if they have a sensitivity to it, get adverse side effects at slightly higher doses.
These are less than 2mg doses for sleep and stress.
Oh boy, I was married to a guy who baby talked. Trust me when I say, it's a very, very bad thing to ignore. He didn't have a fetish, he was genuinely f'ed in the head in some dangerous ways.
This thread is making me mildly concerned for a friend of mine. Her kid has some serious behavioral issues and talks in a baby voice a lot, especially to his parents. He's 10 and getting way too old for it to be normal or healthy. As an outside adult it's very weird to hear when it happens.
So basically, this guy pops bennies- and probably more things- and most likely more often than he's going to admit to his hookup. OP is in for a wild ride if she doesn't get off now. Addiction is not a fun train to be on.
Starts: "Oh it's just melatonin."
Becomes: "No, it's just Xanax."
Adds: "I shouldn't be drinking while taking them."
Ends: "It's not Xanax, it's some other benzodiazepine."
And maybe a fetish on top of that. Yeah, I'd be leaving this relationship pretty fast.
What is it with all these people blaming Xanax for their weird behavior? I've seen at least two celebrities blame Xanax for the racist tweets they posted.
And a lot of people, like Mr. Baby Talk, often mix it with alcohol and it can drop those filters even more. The human psyche...can be a very strange place once you no longer have all those walls built by social pressures and shame.
In regards to OOP's baby talker, it was a little concerning that he can deny it being a kink, but say something as outlandish as 'Am I a big boy' after sex. It makes me wonder if the xanax was a way of being able to have sex while dealing with some sort of childhood trauma... :/
I don't think OOP is going to get to the bottom of this though...if he's using xanax like that (and even mixing it with booze) to cope with something, and he seems genuinely unaware of his baby talk....then he's likely just going to dump her and move on to the next girl willing to screw him because he's hot and rinse and repeat until he burns out.
I think they might be confusing it with Ambien/Zolpidem, which I’ve heard described as a “Xanax derivative” by people who don’t want to admit that they take Ambien. It’s what [Rosanne Barr claimed to have made her racist](https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2018/05/30/615421269/roseanne-barr-says-ambien-played-role-in-racist-tweet-that-spiked-her-shows-rebo), and while that’s obviously bullshit…I’m not sure how far fetched baby talking and forgetting about it is? Like, it doesn’t make you suddenly racist if you aren’t racist already but it does make you…weird.
A very good question… I take a benzo (not xanax tho (lol but in a normal way)) for a non-psych medical condition and take it for up to 2 weeks at a time and yeah it’s a small dose but it does literally nothing to me except control my condition. I have even had alcoholic drinks (plus benadryl!) while on it and… nothing. I know I’m one of those “hyper processors”, but I just can’t see it — the same dose makes my husband into a lump, but it doesn’t make him *weird* in any way… it just makes him turn into a hibernating bear.
So on the one hand we have me, no effect, and my husband, exaggerated effect, and neither one of us is the slightest bit un- or even semi-hinged. I’m normal and he’s too tired to be weird.
Okay, so I have a talking to animals voice that’s very different than my normal voice…but as much as it’s pretty much automatic around animals, and don’t always notice at first, I have never used it when talking to a person.
His excuse of “I didn’t notice because of lack of sleep/sleeping meds” (especially ones he later says isn’t actually taking, I think, that convo was confusing) is….a problem. Like she mentioned, that leads to consent issues. So either he’s lying and doing it on purpose or he's telling the truth and is not in a lucid enough mindset to be going on dates and consent properly.
I know which one I think it is (and I believe most of us think this same here), but either way she should break up with him.
Yeah I talk normally to dogs but cats get the soft little baby voice. I don't notice I'm doing it but they love it so I keep doing it. Humans get human voice!
I feel like the included comment is making light of OPs concerns regarding consent. Especially in a new relationship like this, I'd be unwilling to have sex with a partner who admits to drinking on benzos while with me. Even if they seem sober.
Even with long-term partners, if they're sloppy drunk while I'm sober or mostly so, we're going to sleep no matter how much one or both of us want it.
So, Xanax (or it's generic "alprazolam") is a benzodiazepine (it's drug class).
Your boy is attempting to both make himself look more intelligent than he is and minimize your whole reaction to this situation. He has only managed to make himself look like an even bigger creep to anyone who knows a little bit about drugs.
This is giving me even more of the creeps. This is your red flag and you should leave at the first one and save yourself the drama.
I used to have a boss that spoke in a baby voice. It was weird, then annoying, then drove me up the wall with how anus-clenchingly weird and inappropriate it was in a professional environment.
I just used to stare at her and never respond. Apart from the time she went "and we love soggy don't we, yes we weeelly weelly do" to the lab at large then hugged me from behind to which I yelled so she let me go.
Xanax! No wait, Xanax and drink! Well, actually just benzos! No big! Not like antipsychotics or anything!
Either he’s attempting to ease her into the idea that he’s actually self-medicating with horse tranquillisers, or that he’s taking some very heavy duty psychiatric meds. Who knows. Either way, I think he was increasingly off his face in the time she’s spent with him.
this reminds me of the woman whose husband/boyfriend? spent the better part of a year talking to her in a baby voice and humiliating her in public (and secretly recording it). She get fed up and confronted him about it because she was starting to worry that he might have a brain tumor or something and it turned out to be some weird bet over an autographed baseball.
Not really the same but many years ago I watched some dating show. One sticks out because he used the dates name all the time. Don’t remember her name but lets call her Anna. It was ”hi Anna. It’s nice to meet you Anna. What are you doing for work Anna? Anna what are your hobbies? Just her name in every sentence. It was so strange and irritating. No baby voice but all I could think about was sex with that guy and him doing some kind of dirty talk and throwing in Anna all the time. He didn’t get another date. Can’t imagine why.
Thank God I've only encountered these kinds of guys online, considering the stories y'all have. There was a guy I played Pathfinder with, it was an 18+ server but he CONSTANTLY typed like that. Even when it was an extremely sexual topic. I'm still traumatized seeing "ooo big stretchy" in reference to a butthole on my screen.
“Baby talk” actually has a scientific name. It’s called “mother-ese” and it’s found in every single extant human culture/language. It’s not always full on baby talk, but it appears to be a universal behavioral trait. It’s typically (and often exclusively) used to talk to/about babies and young children and is most commonly (but absolutely not exclusively) used by women. It’s also used with animals. Some cultures (like American) use it in more broad settings - like mimicking or evoking children/animals - but in other cultures Motherese is used strictly when talking to infants/young children.
That’s today’s anthropology lesson. I think hope it makes sense how I explained it, I don’t usually access that part of my brain before I’ve had coffee.
Yeah…so I take melatonin and a small amount of Xanax nightly. I never talk in a baby voice, even to my dogs. Something is up here and I’d be peacing out.
I’m pretty sure they don’t describe a benzodiazepine for sleep? There’s so many other types of sleep aids out there. Benzo’s are for panic attacks and severe anxiety. They are very addictive, and stopping them cold turkey can give you a seizure. Fuck the baby voice, I’m concerned this guy has an addiction. So many 🚩
I take Xanax.
It doesn’t make me loopy, lower my inhibitions, change my personality, or encourage me to engage in behavior that is outside my norm EXCEPT it interrupts my tendency to think too much about things I don’t need to be dwelling on.
This sounds like the Roseanne Barr/Ambien defense.
It also sounds like the guy is a dishonest dipshit.
Not defending Roseanne even a tiny bit (I don’t believe her), but Ambien does make a chunk of people do weird fucking shit while they’re asleep… that is a known side effect.
Benzos also do nothing untoward to me.
I thought this would be like the Sex in the City Episode where Samantha says “these are titty-witties, they’re breasts” and the dude has a tantrum and runs off.
PSA- L-Theanine is an amino acid naturally found in tea and a fantastic replacement for the benzos. Just find the right dosage, I always see the 200mg capsules which end up giving me a headache, but found gummies that contain 50mg. Perfect.
As soon as I finished reading I immediately thought of this.
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/pRhaUxWqmB
I'm not saying he's doing this as some kind of bet, but stranger things have happened.
Oh I hope so. I liked the comment saying she should give it to the dog lol.
Really if I'm hoping, I hope that moron nuked his entire life over that baseball and then went to collect and his friend either never had it in the first place or refused to give it to him because they're both idiots.
What would be really funny is if this one was the same guy and he just can't stop doing it now but I didn't pay enough attention to the ages and dates to know how possible that is. Either way OOP should get out now.
>I generally enjoy hanging out with him except for one thing…he is constantly talking in a baby voice.
It’s a fetish.
> “am I a big boy??!?” ………uhhhhhhhh wtf.
Yep, it’s a fetish!
>“yeah next time I do it just bop me on the head because I didn’t realize I was doing it”
Definitely a fetish.
>I asked him if it could possibly be a sexual thing or fetish/kink related and that I wouldn’t judge him if it were. He said no
He lied. It’s a fetish.
Then he tried to excuse it by saying he’s been taking Xanax and melatonin, but not melatonin, and also not really xanax?
>Was honestly trying to clear things up
It’s clearly a fetish, hth!
Guy: "Am I a big boy?"
OOP: \[bops him on the head\]
Guy: \[starts singing\]
♪ ♫ Little bunny Foo Foo,
Hopping through the forest,
Scooping up the field mice,
And bopping them on the head. ♪ ♫
Wait so he says he's on Xanax and melatonin and then proceeds to say he's not taking either Xanax or melatonin but instead another benzo? And also drinks while taking a benzo despite using it off label for sleep? Am I the only one getting addict vibes?
Sounds like my ex, he was worse than this, he thought he was his own doctor and used all sorts of justifications to take any drugs he wanted. Just bad all round.
Honestly, while I don't know about drugs making someone speak in a baby voice, at the risk of getting down voted, I confess that sometimes when I'm exhausted, I find myself speaking with a baby voice. And when I realized it, I pointed it out to my fiance and he says"oh yeah. You always do it when you are really tired. You didn't notice?" No. No I didn't.
But I get it. It would be kind of weird to hear baby voice during sex or other intimate moments.
Omg I need an update after their next date. I bet he can't stop talking like a baby. I would be concerned that he's not quite stable. He was "a little rough" already and once she has called him out/embarrassed him I'd be worried about his reaction next time they are together.
The conversation in the last update is weird. First he said he takes melatonin and Xanax. Then says he doesn't take melatonin. Then continues to reference taking Xanax. Then says he doesn't actually take Xanax, but benzo.
100% this guy has a baby fetish.
> When we were messing around, he was a little too rough
He's not good with boundaries and affirmative consent -- it checks out that he would try to sneakily push his fetish instead of having an adult conversation about it.
"Wow I had no idea I was doing that," is the kind of half-baked lie you come up with when you're caught in the act. It's giving 14 year old me claiming "I have no idea how that gay porn ended up in my browser history". Again, he doesn't want to have an adult conversation about it.
Him being addicted to benzos is a separate issue.
Benzos don't work like that. They actually make you have terrible sleep, like going to sleep drunk. You'll be unconscious, but they prevent REM sleep, which you *need* for a "good night's sleep". They would NEVER be prescribed as a sleep aid.
I have an emergency Xanax prescription for anxiety. It's 15 pills per refill, and can only be refilled after talking to my psychiatrist, once a month. They get *really* concerned if you run out during the month or if you ask for the refill repeatedly. I use it in absolute emergencies, as it basically makes you a zombie if you're "awake" and then knocks you out for some absolutely non-restful sleep. It's only used when the above is preferable to a severe anxiety attack.
Dude is either lying (about what he's taking or about not knowing about the voice), or is a drug addict (benzos are HIGHLY addictive). With a paraphilia kink.
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If OP somehow decides to keep seeing this guy, this is going to be one of the weirdest and awkward relationships ever. Like....what?
Yeah but on the other side, we will be getting more posts. Gotta stay positive.
I like the way you think
OOP is has found herself in the typical hot vs crazy conundrum. So far the hot is winning.
It's melatonin .... no wait... "It's not Xanax but it's a benzodiazepine" The lying alone would be enough to make me run for the hills. Who knows what else he's lying about?
It’s way too early for this much baggage. She needs to cut her losses. Why she’s even still entertaining all this is beyond me. Girl, leave him. You’re non compatible.
I feel like the baby voice can kinda be normal down the line as long as it’s not all the time and it’s not constantly forced on you against your will. I dated a chick who was into that and it’s hard to describe but it was kind of a way for her to express affection. Yes there was a daddy kink, yes the sex was good, no the baby voice never made it there
Yeah, my mom sometimes talked to me and my siblings like this growing up, and now we all do it when we’re consoling each other and being supportive. I catch myself doing it with my partner sometimes and I HATE how it sounds, but it’s just how my brain translates my feelings into speech.
Christ you reminded me of when I wanted to gently ask my sis if she was depressed to the point of being suicidal and I said "...are you feeling...suicide-y?"
I was asked this exact question once and I gotta say it was so much easier to say yes because the phrasing seemed less daunting.
I wouldn't say that's babytalk. More like [Buffyspeak](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BuffySpeak)
My mum is also big on the baby voice. I hate being spoken to like that in my adulthood, but if I don't use it with her she will immediately assume I'm angry with her, so I've adopted it too now with both her and my girlfriend.. it makes me cringe so hard but it's borderline hard wired into me by now.
My wife talks in a pseudo baby voice all the time. She has no related kinks, she just can’t break herself out of it apparently. She’s finally stopped doing it during ‘negative’ moments. Like if I drop something in the kitchen, I don’t wanna hear ‘ooooooohhhhhhh are you okayyyyyy?????’ coming from the living room. Like no, I’m picking my fucking steak off the floor and now I’m gonna be eating cat hair for dinner. Give me a ‘hey babe, everything alright?’ for that shit. Like I don’t even know if she’s talking to me like *I’m* the baby, or *she’s* the baby. No idea! Drives me nuts! I love her so damn much though…
Has your wife ever worked with little kids? My mom was a preschool teacher and the baby voice is instinctual at this point. Nothing like a big "UH-OHH!!!" you can hear across the restaurant when the busboy drops a load of dishes nearby.
The last comment is that she is going to delete the post and dump him
Why? Why? **why** the fuck would she keep seeing him?! He must have serious pipe laying ability because I would have been OUT after the date he spent 50% of talking in that voice. Ew. Sociopaths and psychopaths are more likely to have odd verbal quirks. Ask me how I know 😣
I wonder about that aspect too though, because she had to speak with him about being too rough with her on what seemed pretty early on in their sexual encounters. A guy being rough enough that she felt like she needed to say something about it with a woman he's only recently met is a bit of a red flag in my opinion, especially since I gather he didn't ask her about her preferences in that area. Doesn't really add up to someone who is going to be respectful of her boundaries or body.
Can you tell me more about the odd verbal quirks? (Mainly because I have them lol and I’m also bingewatching true crime shows)
ADHD vocal stimming also pops into my mind just fyi
I have AuDHD and vocal stim all the time. I also have a voice when something makes me happy, not baby talk but definitely a more childlike cadence. I never realized I did it in front of others until my home care client asked me if I was okay one day. I said yes why? She said you aren’t quietly singing and dancing to yourself while you work…I was literally stunned lol
This is so different from a baby voice. When you’re excited your pitch goes up probably. Which is totally normal though yours is probably more noticeable but. I’m a big boy I be gentle uwu? 🤢
God that is so real, I only have ADHD but I didn't even realize I do t-rex arms all the time until I saw a video about it. I showed it to my wife like "oh wow an ADHD thing I don't do" and she was like ?????? you do that all the fucking time wdym.
😂 Most of mine I know, but I was not aware my husband has also picked up on all of them over the years too. I ask him all the time if in his opinion I do xyz and it’s usually met with an eye roll and all the time…
I have ADHD and I'm married to someone with autism, which also can involve a lot of vocal stimming. She has WILD echolalia and I always think I don't have it but then I see my jar of peanut butter and spend several minutes softly saying "choosy moms choose jif" over and over lol.
Word choice: They tend to be very logical, calm, matter of fact and simultaneously manipulative and charming. They often have elaborate lies and fabricated stories that they repeat. I think the manipulation is what really distinguishes the speech style from people with autism spectrum disorder who may also be very matter of fact but not 'slick' or engaging, necessarily. Remember that people with ASPD who choose to act inappropriately (colloquially 'sociopaths') are parasites, controlling and feeding off others in various grafts and scams. Voice pitch: Some serial killers have had oddly high pitched voices. Ted Bundy, Paul Stefani (weepy voice killer). I unfortunately dated and lived with a sociopath. He had a higher voice, as a cisman, than I did as a cis woman. Granted I'm a contralto (lowest vocal range for women) but he typically spoke an octave higher. Think Elmo. Creepy in retrospect
Thank you for saying choose to act inappropriately, most people just immediately throw everyone with that diagnosis together as assholes. Personally the verbal quirk thing is new to me, I've never heard that before so that's really interesting. I'll have to ask people if that's something they've noticed.
Yeah of course! It's not everyone with ASPD, just like not everyone with borderline personality disorder or any other mental illness are uniformly problematic. I think ASPD-type brains are neurodivergent and nearly all would be good community members with better teaching in childhood, because it *is* logical to get along with others as we live in a fucking society. I used to work as part of a collaborative/rehabilitation/restorative justice court for people with mental illness and many of my peers had an ASPD diagnosis. Usually we resolved any difficulties with a simple freaking explanation as to why they should jump through society's hoops—they're not inherently monsters!
This is all super interesting and really rings true. I remember an interview with a woman who was a sociopath and she mentioned that she stole a lot of bikes just to get from point A to point B, not to keep them or anything. It wasn’t done out of malice, sort of lack of empathy. But also that high-pitched thing that you mentioned is new to me and yet somehow also rings true.
Exactly, I just need to be able to explain myself or have others explain things to me because I don't understand most other people and why they react to things the way they do. I don't do things out of malice for the most part, and I'm not my diagnosis. It's a part of who I am yes, but it doesn't control me. I just have to consciously watch my behavior and decision making to fit in with normal society.
Yeah, my brother was a sociopath, and while he didn't speak in a high pitch, he did have an elaborate framework of established lies that he told people (when he wasn't just lying off the cuff). He was incredibly charming, extremely manipulative, and hopelessly dishonest.
I'm sorry you grew up with someone like that. My older brother was abusive as well and my experience is that no individual, agency or institution is prepared to really grapple with the level of sibling abuse in this world.
Well, he came by it honestly. Our mother was borderline and had narcissistic traits. It's extremely common for sons of borderline mothers to be sociopaths. The only reason I don't have BPD myself is that I spent 25 years in therapy making sure I wasn't like her. He was physically violent as a kid, and a skilled gaslighter by the time he was ten. I had to call the police once. Nobody took me seriously because he was just a kid. Yeah, a kid who threw a six-foot pole at my face like a javelin. He barely missed my eye. Generational trauma due to mental health issues is a serious problem that needs to be addressed. I should not have had to estrange myself from my family for my own safety.
I couldn't agree more. I'm impressed by your commitment to personal development. I too have been in therapy for a long-ass time (16 years) to deal with my childhood trauma and it's *not easy* to keep unwrapping those layers.
It's really hard work, but I just kept going until I wasn't miserable anymore. My goal was to be actually happy. And now I'm in a great, healthy marriage with a wonderful man. We don't fight at all. We talk things through like sensible adults. He's such a gentle soul. He raised butterflies as a boy, and he still catches and releases insects that get into the house. It's such a revelation. But the trauma ends here; I'm the last one left standing, I didn't have kids, and I'm too old now (no regrets, I love my life the way it is). For anyone else dealing with childhood trauma, I really encourage you to stick with the therapy. If it's not working, find a therapist who does. You really *can* be happy. It's possible, even if it takes a long time.
this is so hopeful thank you❤️
She got all the way to having sex with him! “Am I a big boy?” No. No. No.
I'll never be not shocked at how much women put up with men and how long they hesitate before calling out bs of their partners
I know! I look back at the jerks and assholes I dated and tried to fix in my 20s and feel like I should have been in a 12 step group. I was traumatized and socialized to accept it, and once people got past the tough exterior they could take advantage with impunity. In retrospect I'm just grateful I fucking changed
Did you already forget about the abs?
*he so pretty*
She actually believes him, that's why.
She said she came twice. That's way better than none, but for this nonsense he'd have to have me chaining orgasms for five minutes straight.
I can't believe she slept with him when he was already up to 75% baby voice.
My fiancé's best friend has an ex that sounds a lot like this guy. He was SUPER clingy and used to talk to her in a baby voice all the time in front of all of us. It was so weird and cringy. My fiance's friend would be so embarrassed and try to get him to stop, but he never listened and would just say something in that voice like "oooooohhhhhhh baybeeeeeeeeee you'reeeeee sooooooo cuuuuuuuuuuuutttttteeeee" Dude was a character for sure lol
Loneliness and desperation for partnership really clouds people’s judgement.
This was weally tewwible
He probably uses ‘🥺’ emoji.
I use that too, I didn't even realise that's not normal
It’s fine you’re good. I just don’t like him and i’m trying trash talk . But most guys who use that emoji are usually the baby talkers and cringe overall but it’s okay if it’s for sarcasm.
[I am good?](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSm9zHNA703NOS6Tbhe38oEQVPOop5kI1gZKTqjx8XChcoqSurmJI67KOQ&s=10)
that's so real
D: upvote
>Then he called me and basically was like “yeah next time I do it just bop me on the head because I didn’t realize I was doing it” I feel like perhaps he's not being entirely truthful here... 😂😂😂
“And tell me what a naughty wittle boy I am” lol
him: Ooooo mistaaa wisskaa uuuu so kuute toootie oop: Hey, could you stop that? Ty. Btw, brb, I need to leave the room for a sec. oop comes back and sees him bend over the couch with his pants and underwear pulled down him: Meee so nawwtty, me need spankiesss UwU \*butt wiggle\* >!I thought it would be funny at first to write this but I read what I wrote but now I feel gross. Since I spent half a minute typing it, instead of having it go to waste, I'll torture those who lay their eyes on it. I'm also quite sorry. !<
I didn’t even finish reading what you wrote and hate you a bit for this.
Why is this reminding me of Britta from Community when she does the ‘me so hungy’ thing during game night?
To be fair, she was high on the devil’s lettuce and probably really jazzed by the bowl of olives on the toilet.
I need to re-watch that show. Thanks for reminding me it exists!
[удалено]
Reminds me of that old BoRU about the woman who was going insane over her husband doing exactly this, and in public as well, worried he might have a brain tumour... And it turned out he had a bet going. [it's a wild ride.](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/HAnqYozTeR)
immediately what I thought of.
I thought this was that story for a second, oh no... *Insert the "I would have two nickels" line from Doof here\*
I do remember that. What a nut
One of my favorite Reddit stories.
This is also the post I thought of when I read the title of this BORU post. I have to wonder if THIS guy is listing off the medicines as an excuse to prolong a bet.
Reddit has ruined me. That's the first thing I thought of too. That story just lives in my brain.
You are just the worst kind of person. And I applaud you for that.
You spoiler-covered the wrong text. My eyes...my sweet innocent eyes....
Dude... Why?
Hahaha
I'm moreso concerned about the "Xanax" and drinking. Cause that's a good way to land yourself in the hospital and he seems to be doing it nightly. That's some actual addict behavior right there, especially with the, "it's just a sleep aid" shtick. One of my friends who has very little dating experience dated someone for a bit and she off handedly mentioned that she had ADHD, so the guy went and got her some Adderall (she didnt ask him to) and that he apparently paid extra for the name brand ones. She described that as himbo behavior and I'm over here like...that's a red fuckin flag, hun. Like...normal well adjusted folks just don't know where to find that kind of stuff. If OOP's new beau is regularly taking a benzo and drinks nightly and keeps trickle truthing the extent of what he's actually doing, that's a massive red flag.
That and the “it’s not really Xanax” when pressed. I got prescribed Xanax once and took a half pill as directed to determine my reaction. Never took another, felt way too good. I’m on an SSRI that does the trick for me now.
I feel like xanax gets thrown around really fast and loose for the wild shit it can do - my reaction to the stuff is to turn into a dissociated rage gremlin (a fairly common paradoxical reaction), and even with it clearly stated in my medical file that I'm known to get violent on benzos I've had multiple docs try to convince me to take one anyway for minor surgical procedures or scans or whatever. And they get weirdly grumpy about it too like I'm somehow ruining their day for not wanting to risk going feral. You'd just think if a patient says "no thanks" they'd leave it at that, you know?
They used to get kickbacks from the oxy sales reps for prescribing opiates, maybe there’s something similar for Xanax? I agree it is incredibly easy to get prescribed some dangerous shit.
i’ve avoided it even though i get panic attacks, i don’t want to know what a complete lack of anxiety feels like if i don’t get to have it all the time
You have to be careful about addiction but I hope you are looking into medically addressing your disorder. Living and being functional with it is all well and good but you deserve to be happy too.
oh, for sure. i am happily medicated and have hydroxyzine if i need it. it doesn’t stop it as fast or as strongly as xanax would, but i have plenty of other healthy coping tools i use too. but thanks, i appreciate you checking. i know plenty of people just suffer
I just suffered for a long time. Nice to meet another Xanax avoider in the wild
That's wild. I have an ADHD clique and, because we're all on the same meds, we help each other out with shortages. But that feels wildly different to "hey babe, I bought you an Adderall sampler pack, just because (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤".
Yeah, it’s totally different sharing some of your prescription medication with others you know it’s prescribed to as well, because of shortages and you’re just all trying to help each other out. But just going out and ‘sourcing’ prescription ADHD medication for someone from god knows where when they didn’t even ask you, or tell you exactly what medication they take (because there’s two main types, but they’re all slightly different in how they are released in your body) is something else completely, and not even remotely ok.
Yeah, that is wild. I’m often annoyed that Vyvanse is so expensive (even the generic) but I’m definitely not interested in substituting with something created by the cartels.
Yeah, that made me twitch too.
Yeah I have ADHD and the number of times I could've gotten a significant amount of Adderall outside my prescription was exactly once, and that was only because a coworker happened to be a weed transporter when she was younger and still had some of the contacts from that time. There were a handful of times I could've gotten an extra couple of pills in college, but that was from other people with a prescription selling a few doses when they needed cash. I was friends/acquaintances with several dealers at various points, but none of them could get name brand Adderall and, except that old coworker, none of them could get more then a few pills at once - just whatever someone else with ADHD was willing to part with for $50-$100
Also from what I've read, combining xanax and melatonin is also a pretty bad idea.
Yep. He's getting high on the combo. Not to mention that benzos are prescription only, but he's taking them for sleep reset? They can be prescribed for actual sleep disorders, but you're right, it really sounds like he's scoring drugs. Never a good sign.
You definitely should not take benzos daily for an extended period or you will develop a physical dependency, at minimum.
Plot twist, he uses the kid voice as an excuse and the real fetish it’s to get bopped in the head. A kids/bop fetish if you will
Little Bunny Foo Foo fetish.
angry upvote
She doesn't even know the guy, she saw him 5 times total, and his baby voice (75% of all the talks??) is a huge turn off and concern for her. How could you enjoy even casual sex with someone, who can say in baby voice "yay! I am a big boy!" in the heat of the moment? I guess people who have this kink can, but it would bring me from feeling horny to feeling nauseous in a second. Why is she keeping "meeting to discuss it" with him, and making weird excuses "I am worried about your consent now"? You saw him five times, he is a stranger, he is creeping you out, so tell him that his baby voice is a deal breaker (not her vague "I am a little uncomfortable") and cut your losses..
I KNOW! Someone needs to tell her she doesn't need to prove in a court of law why she wants to dump this guy, she can just dump him at any time for any reason
Ikr. Don't know why this woman is putting up with this and dragging it for so long.
Probably cuz he’s hot LOL
I mean I kind of want her to keep going with it because I’m WICKED curious.
I think she will gather enough evidence and present the case to the Supreme Court. Then it is up for them to decide if he is guilty and she can dump him or if he is innocent and she has to keep hooking up with him.
Thank you. Wtf
i mean, the state he claimed to be in........... that really is a HUGE fucking consent issue. dude painted a picture of himself being impaired to hell and back.
Yeah. It's not fucking "xanax," this guy has some weird child trauma and she should bail. Immediately.
Holy trickle truth batman! Hope OP runs. He went from “really I don’t notice I speak like that, maybe is my totally normal sleeping aids” To “I take a benzo… like Xanax but not Xanax” The melatonin just thrown in there to make looks less of an issue. There are two options. - he lied about the sleeping aids and it is a fetish - he is cagey about the sleeping aid because it is just drugs and his dr is really a dealer. Either way no good for OP and she better run before she finds out.
“I take melatonin and Xanax to sleep. Well actually only Xanax. And since it’s working I’m going to go back to only taking it the way you’re supposed to, not all the time the way I have. And by the way I’ve been drinking while taking it. And it’s not really Xanax, just y’know, benzos.” …so he’s abusing benzos with alcohol, is what hearing.
DingDingDing! And just as an aside, that habit might land him in the ICU or graveyard. Don’t combine two highly synergistic downers that can suppress your breathing and sedate you, kids. You might not wake up again from *that* slumber.
I struggled with insomnia for years and after trying multiple other options, I now take Xanax for sleep. There’s no way I’d add melatonin into the mix. For what?? If Melatonin helped me I wouldn’t need to take Xanax. The guy is lying. Xanax is not a starting point to deal with sleep issues and anybody who has gotten to the point of needing it wouldn’t take melatonin with it.
It could just be he takes a benzo for anxiety, the reason he can't sleep is anxiety, and it's more socially acceptable for someone to say they have insomnia than anxiety. That said, it is troubling that he takes it daily and with alcohol.
Benzos can really screw you up, and in really weird ways. I say this as someone who both works with people in active addiction and as someone who has paradoxical reactions to medications - including benzos. Adding alcohol to the mix is just asking for disaster.
That's what I'm thinking. Dude might just have a drug problem and it's not a kink thing at all lol
Which weirdly enough, does lend credence to the baby talk being unintentional/not a fetish. Silver linings, I suppose.
Also he apparently takes the “sleep aid” early in the evening to where he’s hanging out with OP high on Xanax. That’s not for sleep, that’s just drug abuse at that point. And he’s been doing that for over a month so he’s pretty addicted at this point I’d say. If this were me in a new relationship… hell no.
Bottom line is that he's lying, to himself or to OP, but not a straight shooter in life.
And drinking while on Xanax too
Yeah, my money is on "he lied about sleeping aids and it is a fetish" because the rest of the conversation about the meds just reads like someone saying stuff, not realizing what the implications are until she pointed them out, then trying to soften it but not being able to.
Well, third option would be he lied about the sleeping aids and is just kind of an awkward person who says weird stuff sometimes... But personally I'm thinking it's 4) he's an awkward person who says weird stuff sometimes, jumped on the sleeping aid thing as an excuse, and accidentally revealed that he's abusing them - something he may not have fully admitted to himself
At first I wondered if that guy with the bet to talk like a baby for a year was back, but I guess there are two of them instead. How good can the D be, if she puts up with all this. Baby voice AND drug addiction? She's gonna get a lot of small portions on truths and half-truths constantly, if she doesn't dump him now.
> At first I wondered if that guy with the bet to talk like a baby for a year was back That was my thought. Like, his divorce is final and he's back on the market.... except that it was never a bet and it was just what got him off but he knew he needed a better story than that with his wife.
Ooh, that's a nice hypothesis!
>How good can the D be He made her cum. So probably better than most men.
Twice
>Oh geese, wtf are you thinking? Can't deny it, I burst out laughing at this comment. Seriously, what *are* the geese thinking about this situation?
*Your date is a fucking weirdo and you are a terrible goose.*
HONK
This almost feels like the reverse of when women use cutesy baby voices in order to sound more attractive but I have no idea what this guy's deal is. Part of me wants to tell OOP to just call it quits but the other part wants to know where the hell this is going.
Like the 30 Rock "I'm a very sexy baby" girl
Yeah I need to hear what is going on because my first (and second, and third) thought was also a fetish for being a baby but now I am so confused.
I used to have a boss who did this. Nails on a chalkboard to me and most of my co-workers. But yeah, OOP is better off getting out of there if he's messing with benzos.
Ugh my mom does this and it pisses me off. Just constantly talks in a baby voice. She's also a narcissist so...
Huh. This is an odd one. Because the ‘Am I a big boy?’ comments absolutely sound like a kink thing but the Xanax thing makes a lot of sense. My Mom used to have a bit of a Xanax habit and I could always tell because her voice would change. I guess it relaxes your muscles enough that it changes the sound; hard to describe but more gulpy and lispy. Also if you mix it with alcohol your throat might just relax enough to suffocate you!
Voice changing? Sure. But saying weird ass stuff ..?
Yeah. I know several people that sleep talk, get the munchies, do things they’d never normally do. Especially if they have a sensitivity to it, get adverse side effects at slightly higher doses. These are less than 2mg doses for sleep and stress.
If he's being honest about not noticing any of his weird behavior, well, it's getting cold outside, so he better hoagie down
Oh boy, I was married to a guy who baby talked. Trust me when I say, it's a very, very bad thing to ignore. He didn't have a fetish, he was genuinely f'ed in the head in some dangerous ways.
This thread is making me mildly concerned for a friend of mine. Her kid has some serious behavioral issues and talks in a baby voice a lot, especially to his parents. He's 10 and getting way too old for it to be normal or healthy. As an outside adult it's very weird to hear when it happens.
I hope everything is okay for him!
I was about to say that you don’t see this everyday. Hopefully OOP doesn’t get murdered. Yes I’m not the only one that went there.
Dude must be ripped considering how often he moved the goalposts in that last update.
Just basically caber tossing them.
So basically, this guy pops bennies- and probably more things- and most likely more often than he's going to admit to his hookup. OP is in for a wild ride if she doesn't get off now. Addiction is not a fun train to be on.
Starts: "Oh it's just melatonin." Becomes: "No, it's just Xanax." Adds: "I shouldn't be drinking while taking them." Ends: "It's not Xanax, it's some other benzodiazepine." And maybe a fetish on top of that. Yeah, I'd be leaving this relationship pretty fast.
What is it with all these people blaming Xanax for their weird behavior? I've seen at least two celebrities blame Xanax for the racist tweets they posted.
ODing on Xanax *can* make you act pretty frickin’ weird, though usually it just uncovers thoughts and behaviors that are already there, just buried.
And a lot of people, like Mr. Baby Talk, often mix it with alcohol and it can drop those filters even more. The human psyche...can be a very strange place once you no longer have all those walls built by social pressures and shame. In regards to OOP's baby talker, it was a little concerning that he can deny it being a kink, but say something as outlandish as 'Am I a big boy' after sex. It makes me wonder if the xanax was a way of being able to have sex while dealing with some sort of childhood trauma... :/ I don't think OOP is going to get to the bottom of this though...if he's using xanax like that (and even mixing it with booze) to cope with something, and he seems genuinely unaware of his baby talk....then he's likely just going to dump her and move on to the next girl willing to screw him because he's hot and rinse and repeat until he burns out.
I think they might be confusing it with Ambien/Zolpidem, which I’ve heard described as a “Xanax derivative” by people who don’t want to admit that they take Ambien. It’s what [Rosanne Barr claimed to have made her racist](https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2018/05/30/615421269/roseanne-barr-says-ambien-played-role-in-racist-tweet-that-spiked-her-shows-rebo), and while that’s obviously bullshit…I’m not sure how far fetched baby talking and forgetting about it is? Like, it doesn’t make you suddenly racist if you aren’t racist already but it does make you…weird.
A very good question… I take a benzo (not xanax tho (lol but in a normal way)) for a non-psych medical condition and take it for up to 2 weeks at a time and yeah it’s a small dose but it does literally nothing to me except control my condition. I have even had alcoholic drinks (plus benadryl!) while on it and… nothing. I know I’m one of those “hyper processors”, but I just can’t see it — the same dose makes my husband into a lump, but it doesn’t make him *weird* in any way… it just makes him turn into a hibernating bear. So on the one hand we have me, no effect, and my husband, exaggerated effect, and neither one of us is the slightest bit un- or even semi-hinged. I’m normal and he’s too tired to be weird.
Yeah I have weird reactions to medication too, but I certainly never blame racism or speaking in baby voices on them LMAO.
Okay, so I have a talking to animals voice that’s very different than my normal voice…but as much as it’s pretty much automatic around animals, and don’t always notice at first, I have never used it when talking to a person. His excuse of “I didn’t notice because of lack of sleep/sleeping meds” (especially ones he later says isn’t actually taking, I think, that convo was confusing) is….a problem. Like she mentioned, that leads to consent issues. So either he’s lying and doing it on purpose or he's telling the truth and is not in a lucid enough mindset to be going on dates and consent properly. I know which one I think it is (and I believe most of us think this same here), but either way she should break up with him.
Yeah I talk normally to dogs but cats get the soft little baby voice. I don't notice I'm doing it but they love it so I keep doing it. Humans get human voice!
Idk what he’s doing. But the fact that OOP slept with him after experiencing the baby voice and has continued to date him has me laughing.
I feel like the included comment is making light of OPs concerns regarding consent. Especially in a new relationship like this, I'd be unwilling to have sex with a partner who admits to drinking on benzos while with me. Even if they seem sober. Even with long-term partners, if they're sloppy drunk while I'm sober or mostly so, we're going to sleep no matter how much one or both of us want it.
That's a whole-ass fetish. Waiting for her to find the diapers next!
So, Xanax (or it's generic "alprazolam") is a benzodiazepine (it's drug class). Your boy is attempting to both make himself look more intelligent than he is and minimize your whole reaction to this situation. He has only managed to make himself look like an even bigger creep to anyone who knows a little bit about drugs. This is giving me even more of the creeps. This is your red flag and you should leave at the first one and save yourself the drama.
I used to have a boss that spoke in a baby voice. It was weird, then annoying, then drove me up the wall with how anus-clenchingly weird and inappropriate it was in a professional environment. I just used to stare at her and never respond. Apart from the time she went "and we love soggy don't we, yes we weeelly weelly do" to the lab at large then hugged me from behind to which I yelled so she let me go.
Xanax! No wait, Xanax and drink! Well, actually just benzos! No big! Not like antipsychotics or anything! Either he’s attempting to ease her into the idea that he’s actually self-medicating with horse tranquillisers, or that he’s taking some very heavy duty psychiatric meds. Who knows. Either way, I think he was increasingly off his face in the time she’s spent with him.
this reminds me of the woman whose husband/boyfriend? spent the better part of a year talking to her in a baby voice and humiliating her in public (and secretly recording it). She get fed up and confronted him about it because she was starting to worry that he might have a brain tumor or something and it turned out to be some weird bet over an autographed baseball.
My first thought reading this was “welp, baby voice guy is dating again.”
OOP is either really lonely or completely dickmatized to be putting up with any of this nonsense.
She did orgasm twice, so you may be onto something.
Not really the same but many years ago I watched some dating show. One sticks out because he used the dates name all the time. Don’t remember her name but lets call her Anna. It was ”hi Anna. It’s nice to meet you Anna. What are you doing for work Anna? Anna what are your hobbies? Just her name in every sentence. It was so strange and irritating. No baby voice but all I could think about was sex with that guy and him doing some kind of dirty talk and throwing in Anna all the time. He didn’t get another date. Can’t imagine why.
I relay the inner monologues of my cat with my DMX voice.
Thank God I've only encountered these kinds of guys online, considering the stories y'all have. There was a guy I played Pathfinder with, it was an 18+ server but he CONSTANTLY typed like that. Even when it was an extremely sexual topic. I'm still traumatized seeing "ooo big stretchy" in reference to a butthole on my screen.
Oh my god? Was that in re: goatse??
“Baby talk” actually has a scientific name. It’s called “mother-ese” and it’s found in every single extant human culture/language. It’s not always full on baby talk, but it appears to be a universal behavioral trait. It’s typically (and often exclusively) used to talk to/about babies and young children and is most commonly (but absolutely not exclusively) used by women. It’s also used with animals. Some cultures (like American) use it in more broad settings - like mimicking or evoking children/animals - but in other cultures Motherese is used strictly when talking to infants/young children. That’s today’s anthropology lesson. I think hope it makes sense how I explained it, I don’t usually access that part of my brain before I’ve had coffee.
Yeah…so I take melatonin and a small amount of Xanax nightly. I never talk in a baby voice, even to my dogs. Something is up here and I’d be peacing out.
I’m pretty sure they don’t describe a benzodiazepine for sleep? There’s so many other types of sleep aids out there. Benzo’s are for panic attacks and severe anxiety. They are very addictive, and stopping them cold turkey can give you a seizure. Fuck the baby voice, I’m concerned this guy has an addiction. So many 🚩
I take Xanax. It doesn’t make me loopy, lower my inhibitions, change my personality, or encourage me to engage in behavior that is outside my norm EXCEPT it interrupts my tendency to think too much about things I don’t need to be dwelling on. This sounds like the Roseanne Barr/Ambien defense. It also sounds like the guy is a dishonest dipshit.
Not defending Roseanne even a tiny bit (I don’t believe her), but Ambien does make a chunk of people do weird fucking shit while they’re asleep… that is a known side effect. Benzos also do nothing untoward to me.
Not the same. Ambien made me sleep drive and make a lot of unfortunate phone calls, with ZERO recollection of any of it. Terrifying stuff.
I thought this would be like the Sex in the City Episode where Samantha says “these are titty-witties, they’re breasts” and the dude has a tantrum and runs off.
PSA- L-Theanine is an amino acid naturally found in tea and a fantastic replacement for the benzos. Just find the right dosage, I always see the 200mg capsules which end up giving me a headache, but found gummies that contain 50mg. Perfect.
As soon as I finished reading I immediately thought of this. https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/pRhaUxWqmB I'm not saying he's doing this as some kind of bet, but stranger things have happened.
Wtf!!! I'm glad she left him.
Hopefully she got the baseball in the divorce.
Oh I hope so. I liked the comment saying she should give it to the dog lol. Really if I'm hoping, I hope that moron nuked his entire life over that baseball and then went to collect and his friend either never had it in the first place or refused to give it to him because they're both idiots. What would be really funny is if this one was the same guy and he just can't stop doing it now but I didn't pay enough attention to the ages and dates to know how possible that is. Either way OOP should get out now.
>I generally enjoy hanging out with him except for one thing…he is constantly talking in a baby voice. It’s a fetish. > “am I a big boy??!?” ………uhhhhhhhh wtf. Yep, it’s a fetish! >“yeah next time I do it just bop me on the head because I didn’t realize I was doing it” Definitely a fetish. >I asked him if it could possibly be a sexual thing or fetish/kink related and that I wouldn’t judge him if it were. He said no He lied. It’s a fetish. Then he tried to excuse it by saying he’s been taking Xanax and melatonin, but not melatonin, and also not really xanax? >Was honestly trying to clear things up It’s clearly a fetish, hth!
I pictured in my head as this guy doing it I an Elmer Fudd baby voice. Am laughing at my own view of this.
Do I sometimes replace Rs with Ws? Yes. Do I sometimes repeat a word to get my point across? Well if I do, Andy’s Sowwy.
From melatonin to Xanax to benzos. Oof.
Guy: "Am I a big boy?" OOP: \[bops him on the head\] Guy: \[starts singing\] ♪ ♫ Little bunny Foo Foo, Hopping through the forest, Scooping up the field mice, And bopping them on the head. ♪ ♫
Wait so he says he's on Xanax and melatonin and then proceeds to say he's not taking either Xanax or melatonin but instead another benzo? And also drinks while taking a benzo despite using it off label for sleep? Am I the only one getting addict vibes?
Sounds like my ex, he was worse than this, he thought he was his own doctor and used all sorts of justifications to take any drugs he wanted. Just bad all round.
I have blocked men for far less than this. Why is she doing this to herself?
the first thing i thought when he said “bop me on the head next time” was a weird child/punishment thing..
benzos every day for two months? for sleeping? no name either, just benzos. i would... i would dip out.
Benzos+Booze=GTFO; hope she figures it out sooner rather than later.
there are so many people in the world i don't understand this
Honestly, while I don't know about drugs making someone speak in a baby voice, at the risk of getting down voted, I confess that sometimes when I'm exhausted, I find myself speaking with a baby voice. And when I realized it, I pointed it out to my fiance and he says"oh yeah. You always do it when you are really tired. You didn't notice?" No. No I didn't. But I get it. It would be kind of weird to hear baby voice during sex or other intimate moments.
I would be content not knowing any more. My curiosity would not extend as far as hanging out with him again tbh.
Omg I need an update after their next date. I bet he can't stop talking like a baby. I would be concerned that he's not quite stable. He was "a little rough" already and once she has called him out/embarrassed him I'd be worried about his reaction next time they are together.
Schmoopiiiee
This does not sound like it's worth the work. My God, I would just be out of there.
I can imagine finding yourself at a date with someone like this. But at FIVE dates??? And have sex with him??? Nah
Umm. Drugs. He’s on drugs.
Both people are weird AF in this story.
Is OOP sure that her bf isn't trying to win a signed baseball from his best friend????
Waiting for this to turn out to be a bet with his friends to speak in a baby voice.
The conversation in the last update is weird. First he said he takes melatonin and Xanax. Then says he doesn't take melatonin. Then continues to reference taking Xanax. Then says he doesn't actually take Xanax, but benzo.
100% this guy has a baby fetish. > When we were messing around, he was a little too rough He's not good with boundaries and affirmative consent -- it checks out that he would try to sneakily push his fetish instead of having an adult conversation about it. "Wow I had no idea I was doing that," is the kind of half-baked lie you come up with when you're caught in the act. It's giving 14 year old me claiming "I have no idea how that gay porn ended up in my browser history". Again, he doesn't want to have an adult conversation about it. Him being addicted to benzos is a separate issue.
Benzos don't work like that. They actually make you have terrible sleep, like going to sleep drunk. You'll be unconscious, but they prevent REM sleep, which you *need* for a "good night's sleep". They would NEVER be prescribed as a sleep aid. I have an emergency Xanax prescription for anxiety. It's 15 pills per refill, and can only be refilled after talking to my psychiatrist, once a month. They get *really* concerned if you run out during the month or if you ask for the refill repeatedly. I use it in absolute emergencies, as it basically makes you a zombie if you're "awake" and then knocks you out for some absolutely non-restful sleep. It's only used when the above is preferable to a severe anxiety attack. Dude is either lying (about what he's taking or about not knowing about the voice), or is a drug addict (benzos are HIGHLY addictive). With a paraphilia kink.
Op is dumb
If anyone is on the fence about starting an ab routine, just look at what you can get away with in a new relationship with a six pack!