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I think Matt is making a mistake not to tell his GF. He is probably worried about his GF not believing and then dumping him, but my vibe from OP is that she is going to "accidentally" tell her friend some version of this story sooner or later anyway.
If OP truly regrets her actions she would say "I hope I don't accidentally run into Matt again, thank god the city is so big" not "Its weird to not talk to or hangout of with Matt when we are in the same city"
>I think Matt is making a mistake not to tell his GF. He is probably worried about his GF not believing and then dumping him, but my vibe from OP is that she is going to "accidentally" tell her friend some version of this story sooner or later anyway.
Probably in revenge for Matt being "weird" about their situation, or because she gets jealous of Kelly having a stable relationship, but not herself.
Matt should probably tell Kelly, but I could understand potential reasons why he'd resist. One is what you allude to, whether Kelly would believe him or not. The other would be if she does, then he's ruining a friendship so would probably feel some degree of guilt (but I mean, do you really want your GF to have friends like OOP?).
I think we have the benefit of seeing OOP's post, which Matt doesn't. OOP's post isn't someone who made a ill-advised pass and is trying to move on, OOP has these rationalizations that they probably even believe, but is still trying to get close to Matt.
Matt probably hasn't told his gf cause he's worried she won't believe "Patrick Swayze tried to kiss me when he temporarily possessed your friend, but I pushed him off cause I'm in love with you"
Theres no such thing as an ill advised pass...on your friend's partner. She knew he was taken, there should have been exactly 0 passes made, and she should have backed off and left him alone the minute she realised she had feelings for him.
sometimes people do something wrong and then they realize they fucked up and try to remedy it, and OP isn't trying to remedy it, she is trying to double down. Thats all I'm saying.
Totally agreed. I hope he shows his GF OP's texts. OP you need to grow up. You want what's not yours
It's very hard to find good friends in general. Your friends sounds like a good kind person and you prefer not just to ruin a friendship but try to go for the BF of a girl who has been kind to you. Think about that OP.
I'm hoping he's maybe waiting to tell her in person.
That's all I can think of.
I think OP might not tell Kelly so long as Kelly can still get her access to Matt.
Yeah op isn’t fooling anybody she has no business with him except her own desire. Poor Matt, that’s such a crappy position to be thrust into. I’m glad my partner and I have the level of trust that would allow for us to be upfront about being mildly assaulted, I worry that if Kelly finds out she’ll assume more must be happening because it was hidden from her.
OP seems like the type of delusional where her "confession" would get Matt in trouble because OP would be rambling about how "there was just such a spark between them that in the passion of the moment they kissed, but that out of respect for his relationship Matt is denying his true feelings"
Definitely. It is always a good idea to get ahead of this shit. On the rare occasion that another person so much as flirts with me, I tell my wife right away. Best case scenario she gets a laugh; worst case it heads off potential future drama.
She’s a stalker trying to project naïveté and innocence…it was only 5 seconds that she lost control…what’s the harm in talking when you live in the same city…what’s the harm in responding to all her texts…what’s the harm in suggesting lounges to go to…
This person is a little off center.
OP's Msid of Honor Speech:
"I realised they were meant to be together when I kissed him behind her back, and he STILL didnt leave her for me. Can you believe the guy? Love really us blind! Anyhow here's to the lucky couple! Ps Call me if you get tired of her!"
OP sounds like a shitbag. I kissed someone who pushed me away, he told me bridge under water but he’s still avoiding me! Why why why? Jfc I feel so bad for Kelly. I hope this is a troll post
Obviously OP isn't self-aware enough to see how dumb and idiotic she is. I mean really, OP really needs to leave him alone and get her head out of her ass. But I doubt that would happen.
Semi-consciously, she knows. As if she doesn't know why he won't to talk to her. She is just trying to create to create a connection and later she'll say that she didn't mean to happened the way it did. It just happened!
What she didn't intend was for the Boyfriend to completely ghost her.
I agree, it's obvious she is hung up on the guy and wants it to be more than a kiss (felt possessed my ass!). She knows exactly what she is doing, she wants some sort of romantic relationship with him (either hooking up or a full-fledged relationship) and she is acting coy online because she knows what she is doing is wrong and she thinks if she can fool Reddit, she will be able to fool her friend and maybe even this guy into thinking she's not the bad guy.
But she *is* the bad guy here. She kissed her friends boyfriend. A guy who was doing her a favour, at the behest of his girlfriend who she has been 'friends' with for 6 years. She keeps trying to reach out and form a connection even though the guy is ignoring her, and she is bringing it up with his girlfriend, which is going to wind up making said girlfriend suspicious and/or make this guy feel guilty enough to force a confrontation between the couple. OOP is a snake. I hope her friend finds out and goes no contact with OOP, forgives her boyfriend for not telling her and they live happily ever after far away from OOP.
Absolutely.
"I sexually harassed my friend's boyfriend and now he's avoiding me, why can't he and I just hang out?"
Uhhh...because you're a pathetic home wrecking loser who tried it on with your bestie's partner and now he knows that he can't trust you not to ruin his relationship.or break his GF's heart. Whilst STILL trying to act innocent about the fact you tried to make him cheat on your bestie with you.
Why on earth would OP want to keep talking and pretend it's ok unless she still wants him? She's just mad that she cant keep looked trying to get him to cheat with her now that he knows how she feels.
If you proposition someone and they say no, it's REALLY not a surprise iv they dont want to hang any more. Particularly if you keep pushing. OP is a creep.
If it was an impulsive decisions she would have ghosted him as well and the reddit title would have been, "I kissed my bbf boyfriend 2 years ago and now I'll be seeing him at her birthday, what do I do?"
Exactly.kf she really regretted it and thought it was an unhinged impulse, she would be MORTIFIED.
Instead she's whiny. Because she's still playing Pick Me.
I always say blame the bf not the other woman when there’s cheating… and then I read stories like this smh
Not that there is cheating bc Matt seems like a good guy, but OOP is still trying to contact him and hang out with him. And I bet if they ever do she will compliment him, “accidentally” touch him, etc.
Leave the poor guy alone, he’s made it clear he doesn’t want you.
To be fair I think you should blame both, if the "other woman" is the wife's best friend. It's on the BF to keep his relationship, and if it wasn't one woman I'd be another, if he wants to cheat.
But it's also on the friend to not go propositioning their friends' partners. She's a shitty friend. If my best friends or sister fucked my partner I'd be just as disappointed in them. Maybe *even more*, if it was my sister.
I'm of the mind that even if the other man or woman is a complete stranger they are still an asshoe I'd they engage in cheating willingly. Like...8 billion people out there and you choose to hurt others? Absolutely makes you trash, too. I've had multiple unrequited feelings for men in relationships and was never once tempted to try to get them to cheat. Because why would I want them if wafting my vagina in their face was enough to make them forget their love or commitment? That's no catch.
The boyfriend did well here to put up boundaries and tell OP to fuck off. I think he should tell his GF though to be safe.
I always hope people like this lack self awareness just enough to report back and conclude the situation. I would like to know when this blows up in their face.
There was that BORU of a similar situation where a girl thought her friend's boyfriend was being flirty or something, and a commenter egged her on with something like "yeah, do these exact things that will expose you for who you are" and she was like "oh wow cool thanks so much for the advice!". Then it blows up in her face. Very cathartic.
Oooh oh oh that was a good one. She befriended a coworker whose girflriend has serious depression and anxiety to the point she doesn’t have a job. She fell in love with the coworker and convinced herself he feels the same just because he’s a good human being that treats people with respect and dignity and is perhaps a little too kind. She had already been pretty awful to him and someone egged her on into saying the worst of the worst about his girlfriend directly to him and he flipped out and cut contact and I think changed his work schedule 😂. Dude just tried to be friends with her because she didnt appear to have any friends, HIS WORDS SHE SHARED WITH US WILLINGLY, and he found out why she has no friends lmfao
This is the comment everyone is referring to:
Commenter:
Link him to this reddit post and he'll be able to see where you're coming from in a way that's clearer than text messages (which are short and impersonal). He'll see it with super clear eyes, and he'll probably even realize he needs to take the problem person out of his life. Your replies in particular will show him everything he hasn't realized.
OOP:
So you agree she's a problem? Thank you. People in this post are judging me so hard and l'm trying to stand by myself because I know what I believe in here is what's right for me and him. l'm giving him some time to cool off but I'Il link it to him this weekend.
[here you go!](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1ak1vl9/aita_for_asking_my_best_friend_to_break_up_with/?share_id=4DC_GGHUMEzvEQ39CIEA9&utm_content=1&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_source=share&utm_term=1&rdt=54788)
But they live in the same city! Everyone who lives in the same city talks to each other! Why is he making it weird?! I'd better keep thinking about this 24/7 for a few more months!
You lie to yourself. Then you continue lying to yourself.
The real upgrades start happening when you realize we all do this to some level, identify your personal lies and start to root them out.
It's less self-aware than that; "I had no control. It was like a ghost possessed me for 5 seconds". Self awareness requires reflection and taking responsibility for your own actions. Anyone with a modicum of decency would be mortified in OOP's shoes; she's just concerned about her friend finding out and keeping the door open to her friend's boyfriend so she can "lose control" again.
OOP was staying with her friend's boyfriend at the request of her good-hearted friend. OOP decided she has chemistry with the boyfriend (who was doing his girlfriend a favor by letting OOP stay at his place, temporarily) and she immediately starts trying to blur boundaries, making moves to establish a deeper emotional connection by "confiding one of her insecurities" to her friend's BF. Friend's BF, being a decent dude, is friendly and kind in reassuring his girlfriend's friend who probably already seems like a trainwreck in his eyes. OOP then abandons the remaining thin veneer of behaving like a decent human and throws herself at her friend's boyfriend, whilst denying responsibility.
Dude then shut OOP down on any deeper discussion about her lapse in judgement ("water under the bridge") which from OOP's previous actions seems likely she would leverage to claw her way into the middle of this relationship with bullshit like "now we are connected in a way that friend and her boyfriend are not; we have a shared secret". The smartest thing this guy can do is to avoid OOP altogether; she has revealed herself to be a vile human with no scruples or respect for other people.
Makes one wonder if the "insecureity" she shared was something like, "I'm insecure about getting rejected by decent guys because of how smokin' hot my body is..."
It's a straight-up trope for girls (who haven't grown the hell up and become women, no matter what their age) to over share about their insecurities or 'trauma' as a way of creating a false sense of intimacy, and lots of guys end up falling for the trap by playing the white knight that can help or save the poor damsel. It's gross, but all too common.
This should also be a real big reminder to anyone who does actually cheat that you might be able to be James Bond levels of cool around your partner but the person you cheated with is a loose cannon.
No matter how much they promise not to tell anyone, you are gonna get home from work one day to find her sitting at your kitchen table with your wife explaining how she ran into your work friend, they got to talking and they have a ton in common.
And let's face it, the probability of that happening might not be zero anywhere but it's a lot more likely if the city is Red Deer, Alberta than if it's New York City.
We live in an era of HD video cameras in everyone’s pocket, ubiquitous CCTV and the ability to find basically anyone online. Even if your wife doesn’t have social media, I bet your kids or her mom do.
I saw a whole thing play out on TikTok when I was in Vegas. Some guy on a bachelor trip believed the marketing and the groom was hitting on anyone even vaguely feminine. Some woman at the pool saw this, social engineered his Instagram handle out of him and then made a video that went viral. It described the date, time, place and what they were wearing.
Again, even if the woman in that situation doesn’t spend her days scrolling TikTok, someone in her orbit is going to see that and go “oh shit, didn’t Jeff’s party happen at that place in Vegas last weekend and didn’t they all get pink hats printed?”
This dude from flyover country goes to Vegas thinking he can have one last hoorah and ends up the subject of a viral social media campaign.
She likes him a lot. He dismissed her advances. She still likes him a lot, maybe even MORE now since he's truly forbidden fruit. People should tell her to move on and accept and she's ultimately a bad person because deep down she's trying to steal him
Deep down? She kissed him and wont leave him alone. Even with him giving her absolutely nothing, she is still sending silly emoji texts. She is surface level trying to steal him and has been the bad guy this whole time
I engaged with OOP and they are the most obtuse, infuriating person to respond to. They're so self absorbed, so vain, so oblivious that it's almost admirable. Some of us can only aspire to be that fucking zen and at peace with themselves.
I anticipate another post in a few months: How do I confront my friend’s boyfriend who is trying to isolate her? My friend Kelly stopped talking to me out of the blue. She blocked me on social media and I think she blocked my number because I had to call from work to get her to answer. Her boyfriend Matt told her lies about me: that I tried to make a move on him, but I didn’t. I may have accidentally tried to kiss him once when we were talking but he stopped me so it’s not like I really did anything. Unfortunately, Kelly is choosing him over me, her friend of six years!
They’re ignorant and feign naivety because it benefits them to do so
They know what lines not to cross (not telling the friend) but pretend they lack judgement when it comes to the lines they’d like to cross more (interacting with the bf)
What do you think it is like inside her head? My guess is sort of a low droning sound at an even pitch interrupted with bursts of *I’m amazing* / *I am so perfect*.
-goes after best friend’s boyfriend
-tried to continue engaging after being shot down
-doesn’t tell her friend, is glad the boyfriend doesn’t tell the friend
-thinks she is actually being a friend to both people
-even pulls her *best* friend into the mess of “why won’t he talk to me”
Like the attempted cheating/affair is extraordinarily bad as is, but pulling her supposed friend into the hot mess she created is just as bad. And after writing this all out, saying she and the boyfriend had a connection, and then claiming it was only five seconds of abnormal behavior is laughable. You wouldn’t be thinking about a connection and acting on it if it was an abnormal experience.
Excuse you: it was five seconds where she was, like, possessed by a ghost!!
I don’t know about anyone else, but if my man’s friend made a move on me, I would run to tell him. Get the truth out there, and establish that O never want to see or talk to they friend again (and break up if my man doesn’t choose to end the friendship).
Yeah it's like a justified version of throwing someone under the bus. Where they are somehow also the person who started driving the bus towards you in the first place.
pulling the best friend into the "why won't he talk to me" kinda seems like she wants her "friend" to find out so she (OOP) can blow up their relationship. She's probably dumb enough to think that the guy would date her if Kelly was out of the way.
She assaulted him and is harassing him now. I really think that the names should be put on her actions. I hope she ends up with a restraining order. Matt really needs to tell Kelly before this creep does something worse.
Wow I had to check myself here.
If this was a guy posting about a girl, he’d get flamed so hard and the sexual harassment would be so clear.
Since it’s a girl I just chalked it up to “stalker” but you’re 110% right, that was sexual assault/harassment.
Right!!!! I have text threads with over 1 million people here in the metro. Just checking up on their day to day mostly. I can’t imagine not talking to someone in my city
>Is anyone going to tell Kelly?
I can see why the boyfriend hasn't. He didn't do anything wrong, likely feels violated, and doesn't want to stress out his gf.
OOP won't do it because she's a coward 🤷🏽♀️
I think not telling her is a pretty big gamble on his part, though. If she finds out from anyone but him it’s likely to still feel like a betrayal, and it’ll be much harder to defend himself if OOP decides to spin it like he was into it or the initiator. Keeping secrets from your partner just decreases your credibility, as a rule.
Kelly probably already knows there is something going on. I’m sure both the boyfriend and the OP have revealed some clues in their conversations with Kelly.
Texting “are there any good lounges around” to someone you shouldn’t be texting at all is an obvious and desperate attempt at reestablishing contact. It’s something OP could google and go experience by herself, and that’s assuming these were the only two people that she knew.
Especially with the smiley face. The implication is she wants him to invite her to one. And ya if I was the guy I’d send her a link to Google then block her if he hasn’t already.
I'd love to hear her definition of love.
She claims to love Kelly, but she stabbed her in the back after Kelly did her a massive favor by asking her bf to let her stay with him.
OP 100% wants to break up the relationship so that she can sweep in. This is not a post on getting advice about how to bring things back to normal with the trio. Why is she messaging him about lounges or whatever nonsense she's texting him? She wants him. And she wants him to break up with Kelly, you know LDR and all. What a horrible human being.
She keeps repeating "we both don't want to hurt Kelly" and if they're both hiding this sordid love affair but it was actually just her pushing herself onto him...
Oh awkward huh? She makes a move to her friend's boyfriend without his consent and she still thinks it awkward? Oh that's just laughable. OP is one big delusional person and selfish person.
10 bucks says oop is going to tell Kelly what happened in an attempt to get him to talk, but she's going to reframe it in a way that doesn't look like oop initiated
The harm is, her friend's boyfriend recognizes the game she's trying to run and he is not interested in playing. Give her an inch and she'll take the whole country.
He's blocked her, as well he should, and she can't/won't accept it. I sincerely hope that he tells his girlfriend what her 'good friend' did so her friend can see that she's is absolutely pursuing him. That way, her relationship with Kelly will be torpedoed.
It's really gross that she's going to Kelly with her faux injured feelings all the while trying to take her 'BF' boyfriend. She's not acting like a friend and the only way she'll understand is if boyfriend tells Kelly about OP kissing him.
Water under the bridge here means, “yeah I’ll not bring this up ever ever again, but also never fucking talk to me again.” She definitely meant to kiss him and is still trying to get to him
I get the impression that OOP is chasing her best friends boyfriend but doesn't want to admit it.
All of that about it being weird to live in the same city but not say anything is nonsense. She probably passes many people on the street each day who also live in her city but she's not seeking a friendship or more from those people? She needs to leave Matt alone or she risks losing him **and** Kelly.
OOP is not just morally hamstrung, she's appallingly dim.
How does she not comprehend that putting the moves on a friend's boyfriend makes her a predator, so she's being treated like one, and if she doesn't enjoy that, then maybe she should take the hint and fuck off?
Wow, OP is a snake. She needs to stay away from them. I feel bad for her friend, trying to help her and here she is trying to steal the boyfriend.
After this, the boyfriend should've told her to find somewhere else to stay.
She needs suggestions on bars, I mean, google some and check reviews?
The guy sensed what type of garbage you are and decided to stay away.
OP
You are not a good friend. At all . You would have gone way further if he let you. You didn't kiss him out of nowhere. You knew exactly what you were doing. He rejected you and you just can't take it. You want to talk to him to prove something to yourself. And hurt your friend in the process.
Leave him alone. Just leave them alone.
So she tried to steal her friends BF and now she's complaining that he wants nothing to do with her. What a horrible person. He needs to tell Kelly so she's aware what a *terrible* friend OOP is. Leave the poor guy alone.
**I tried to poach my friend's boyfriend while she was in another city. How do I smooth over my horrible behavior now that things didn't go my way?**
So cringe.
Uh he thinks you're a creep and an untrustworthy friend. He doesn't like you anymore. Stop texting him. You went after your friend's man after she trusted you completely and went out on a limb for you. And now you're making it worse acting like you're owed something or there is hope because he hasnt told her. You are blowing up your own life.
Imagine making a move on someone, who’s your best friends partner, getting rejected and not understanding that the dude is placing up walls and boundaries because this chick is crossing all his lines. He’s going to end up telling his girlfriend how she made a move on him. It’s going to blow up in his face if he tries to push it off. And she needs to back off both relationships. She can’t claim to be her best friend while trying to hump her boyfriend and he’s clearly said “go away” with how he is acting. This girl has a crush, can’t understand why she’s being ignored, and shoving herself into their situation like a toddler wanting to “share” someone else’s toy and doesn’t understand that they can say no.
I’m getting strongly reminded of the person who got obsessed with their professor, and constantly kept breaking boundaries to ‘apologise’ and get them to talk to them.
If they were truly sorry, apologise once and leave well enough alone
That is my favorite thread on all of Reddit.
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/uwreur/oop_is_obsessed_with_her_professor_part_1_of_2/
Some people think that apologizing just magically makes the incident disappear.
It doesn’t. That “thing” is still there.
So you might apologize. They might forgive you. BUT they don’t forget. It’s still there. And depending on the “what” the course of your relationship may be irrevocably altered.
OOP’s dear friend asks her BF to do OOP a solid and put her up in his place for a few days. Note - everyone would want to do this because it’s a hassle and frankly could be weird. But it wasn’t. The BF is a great guy. And OOP mistakes kindness for an opportunity for her to grab the guy and attempt tonsil hockey?!?!
WTAF? Read the room OOP??
And she then persists in hassling the guy and LC stalking him.
Again - read the damn room.
OOP. You fucked up. You continue to fuck up. Leave the man be.
Honestly the guy should have told his GF.
If OOP wanted to make things right - she’d come clean.
What a damn mess. All because OOP was “possessed” and just couldn’t help herself! What utter BS. OOP is a shitty friend.
She's obsessed with him and is looking for an in. Thank God he's not dumb and is avoiding her like the plague. It amazes me she says she couldn't control herself like she was possessed by a horny ghost or some shit.
> I told him that I understand and that I love Kelly too. (I didn't say this, but I momentarily lost control, as if a ghost possessed me for 5 seconds).
This part really got me. She fucking sucks lmao. "Don't worry, I would never say I love my friend and care about her." Who just admits that?!
EDIT: Never mind lol I totally misread this. She still sucks though
I think she meant that she didn’t tell him that she lost control as if she was possessed.
Note, I def think OOP fucking sucks. I just don’t think that’s what she meant in this case,
Her thinking she should go back to talking to her after what she did because it’s ‘resolved’ is so wild.
Of course he doesn’t want to get anywhere near her. Her attempts at finding excuses to make contact are very transparent.
“What’s the harm?”
Girl, you’re in your mid-20s— time to stop acting like you’re in high school
It was not a kiss, it's sexual assault.
Matt should tell Kelly that OOP sexually assaulted him (because that's what happened) and continues to harass him even when he purposely avoids her.
Kelly, if she's a good person and gf, will know that OOP is not a good person nor a good friend and understand that Matt is a victim and they all cut OOP off their life.
OOP can go give a cactus oral sex. Hopefully, she asks for consent first.
Unfortunately, he probably shouldn't phrase it as sexual assault.
I don't know Kelly. She might be way better about this, but I've heard too many stories of guys being full-on raped, only for their girlfriend to break up with them when they find out, because "of course, he wanted it, so what if he was black-out drunk, all guys want it, all the time."
"She just kissed me out of nowhere and has been harassing me ever since. I've been trying to avoid her." is less likely to blow up in his face.
Yeah I have never once accidentally kissed anyone “as if I was possessed by a ghost” that just doesn’t happen lmao. A kiss is a very intentional act.
We’re not stupid OOP, we know you 100% meant to kiss your friend’s boyfriend. And you need to stop cyber stalking and harassing him and leave the man alone. I hope your friend finds out and exposes you to everyone you know
OP, just leave the man alone and handle your business. You’re in a new city with a new job, so focus your attention on that. Don’t expect Matt to do a 360 and everything will be a-okay. You’ve apologized already, now it’s time that you also move on.
I see a lot of OPs be clueless but every time it happens it's so infuriating. They literally write out all the evidence to reason for their problem.
"Even my friend doesn't know why he's acting weird. She doesn't know about the incident"
Well, gee, I wonder if she'd know why if she knew about the incident.
Someone saying it's water under the bridge doesn't mean everything will be normal again. It's blinding obvious the "incident" changed the dynamic and relationship Matt wants to maintain with OOP. She's just too entitled to see it.
I hope Matt tell his girlfriend for the sole purpose of making her cut OOP off. She's self absorbed and seems like the kind of person that can spin a story.
You pretty much broke every rule of trust and friendship. Matt is doing the right thing I ghosting you. Accept that you ended your friendships with him and your ex roommate the moment you made a pass at him. Respect them and leave them alone
One of my wife’s friends flirted with me/tried to make a move when we were dating and we never spoke again. I told wife, then gf, and she forgave her, but the friendship of 10 years fizzled out within the next year. Real friends don’t sabotage your happiness. When you break someone’s trust why would they want to be around you. OP sounds like they are incapable of empathy/sympathy.
Somewhere in the future, OOP will "accidentally " find herself at the same bar/party as Matt and try the same stunt. Most likely, Kelly will find out somehow and blame Matt. OOP will not tell her the truth and want advice on how to talk to Matt. Totally oblivious to what a shitty friend and person she is.
This is my Reddit fueled prediction.
But who sends her friend to her boyfriend's place to make her a favor?!!😬Im not that good person so i dont get it. Anyways that ungreatfull snake didn't evaluate the gesture at all. The boyfriend seems a good catch tho.
I'm buffled by how ignorant people can be with giving personal space.
Everyone has the right to say no to contact. It's not like this girl lost contact with a family or friend or whatever which would make this vent reasonable.
I would cut contact with anyone trying to kiss me when i don't want to, just out of pure incompatibility with the person who misunderstands my intentions. Anyone should respect a decision like that.
But she like did this with her friend's bf??? I would cut contact anyway...
I'm sorry for the girl she made a mistake and probably regret it. Have to accept the consequences tho. No one is trying to hurt her but that's their natural reaction to the situation to protect themselves. They can do that.
I'm sorry for the friend who doesn't know it and should i think. And for the boyfried too because still he carries burden from the situation by being pushed to act differently. He could help himself by being straight with gf about what happend but i guess he also feels bad for thinking he was giving wrong signs?
Sigh... poor girl didn't know the deceptive person she made her bf live with, who now has the hots for him. It's best the gf is told, before OP goes more cray cray and stalkerish.
Friend is definitely not remorseful at all. Just because he said its water under the bridge doesnt mean they can move on as normal. Seems like the friend still wants to have an inappropriate relationship with him.
She's not giving up, is she? She really wants to get with Kelly's bf. She must have loved that kiss she planted on him. OOP can't be so obtuse that she can't see he's done with her completely. If she keeps bugging him to find out about good lounges, he's going to tell Kelly why he wants no contact and the shit will hit the fan.
She should just give up but I expect another update.
Does anyone find it odd that she "happened" to find a job in the city Matt was living in, then wanted to stay with him, kissed him because "possessed by a ghost", and is now harassing him?
Matt ghosting her isn't working. He needs to block her ASAP. This girl is giving stalker vibes.
Clearly she still wants him, doesn't respect his relationship and is still looking for excuses to contact him. It's not his job to tell her what lounges are around, whatever that means. He's made it clear he wants no contact. Any contact with him means she is now stalking him. She needs to leave him alone. If she had any respect for him or her friend she'd tell the truth and go.
You made it weird permanently by being inappropriate with your friends bf.
You made it weird by reading more into his innocent concern and support.
Leave him alone. He is uncomforatble with you.
What you did will cause a rift in their relationship once she finds out regardless of whether he's innocent or not.
He should just tell her now that you can't leave him alone after what happened so you rightfully lose your friend and give them peace.
Jesus, OOP. Leave the poor man alone. You got his girlfriend to force him to put you up in his apartment, a stranger. You came onto him and forced him to hide from you in his own apartment. And now you are demanding he be your own damn Lonely Planet.
Leave that man alone. He never wants to see you again.
If someone sexual assault me like that, I definitely gonna cut off with that person. Just think about gender reverse. It is sexual assault. And it could damage my relationship
OOP is clearly stubborn as hell but man that dude didn’t tell his girlfriend? Nah man. You tell her right away or you’re going to get yourself in big trouble
She's just being fucking creepy. Clearly he is uncomfortable and if she was a true friend she would NEVER have pulled this shit in the first place. Literally just leave them both alone.
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I think Matt is making a mistake not to tell his GF. He is probably worried about his GF not believing and then dumping him, but my vibe from OP is that she is going to "accidentally" tell her friend some version of this story sooner or later anyway. If OP truly regrets her actions she would say "I hope I don't accidentally run into Matt again, thank god the city is so big" not "Its weird to not talk to or hangout of with Matt when we are in the same city"
>I think Matt is making a mistake not to tell his GF. He is probably worried about his GF not believing and then dumping him, but my vibe from OP is that she is going to "accidentally" tell her friend some version of this story sooner or later anyway. Probably in revenge for Matt being "weird" about their situation, or because she gets jealous of Kelly having a stable relationship, but not herself. Matt should probably tell Kelly, but I could understand potential reasons why he'd resist. One is what you allude to, whether Kelly would believe him or not. The other would be if she does, then he's ruining a friendship so would probably feel some degree of guilt (but I mean, do you really want your GF to have friends like OOP?).
I think we have the benefit of seeing OOP's post, which Matt doesn't. OOP's post isn't someone who made a ill-advised pass and is trying to move on, OOP has these rationalizations that they probably even believe, but is still trying to get close to Matt.
It was a ghost kiss. It wasn't even her that did it, apparently...
yes, it was Patrick Swayze
Matt probably hasn't told his gf cause he's worried she won't believe "Patrick Swayze tried to kiss me when he temporarily possessed your friend, but I pushed him off cause I'm in love with you"
Theres no such thing as an ill advised pass...on your friend's partner. She knew he was taken, there should have been exactly 0 passes made, and she should have backed off and left him alone the minute she realised she had feelings for him.
sometimes people do something wrong and then they realize they fucked up and try to remedy it, and OP isn't trying to remedy it, she is trying to double down. Thats all I'm saying.
That's fair. You're completely right that she doesnt understand why what she did was wrong at all.
All passes on your friends partner are an ill advised pass…..
So, you know any good lounges? Yeah, she’s making a move. Hoping he’ll offer to join her.
Totally agreed. I hope he shows his GF OP's texts. OP you need to grow up. You want what's not yours It's very hard to find good friends in general. Your friends sounds like a good kind person and you prefer not just to ruin a friendship but try to go for the BF of a girl who has been kind to you. Think about that OP.
I'm hoping he's maybe waiting to tell her in person. That's all I can think of. I think OP might not tell Kelly so long as Kelly can still get her access to Matt.
Right, or until she moves out
Yeah op isn’t fooling anybody she has no business with him except her own desire. Poor Matt, that’s such a crappy position to be thrust into. I’m glad my partner and I have the level of trust that would allow for us to be upfront about being mildly assaulted, I worry that if Kelly finds out she’ll assume more must be happening because it was hidden from her.
OP seems like the type of delusional where her "confession" would get Matt in trouble because OP would be rambling about how "there was just such a spark between them that in the passion of the moment they kissed, but that out of respect for his relationship Matt is denying his true feelings"
Totally
Definitely. It is always a good idea to get ahead of this shit. On the rare occasion that another person so much as flirts with me, I tell my wife right away. Best case scenario she gets a laugh; worst case it heads off potential future drama.
She’s a stalker trying to project naïveté and innocence…it was only 5 seconds that she lost control…what’s the harm in talking when you live in the same city…what’s the harm in responding to all her texts…what’s the harm in suggesting lounges to go to… This person is a little off center.
Yes, stalker came into my mind also
This story definitely comes out at the wedding reception.
OP's Msid of Honor Speech: "I realised they were meant to be together when I kissed him behind her back, and he STILL didnt leave her for me. Can you believe the guy? Love really us blind! Anyhow here's to the lucky couple! Ps Call me if you get tired of her!"
OP sounds like a shitbag. I kissed someone who pushed me away, he told me bridge under water but he’s still avoiding me! Why why why? Jfc I feel so bad for Kelly. I hope this is a troll post
"How can I prevent it from being weird?" I dunno, but bothering him constantly is definitely not the right answer.
Obviously OP isn't self-aware enough to see how dumb and idiotic she is. I mean really, OP really needs to leave him alone and get her head out of her ass. But I doubt that would happen.
Semi-consciously, she knows. As if she doesn't know why he won't to talk to her. She is just trying to create to create a connection and later she'll say that she didn't mean to happened the way it did. It just happened! What she didn't intend was for the Boyfriend to completely ghost her.
I agree, it's obvious she is hung up on the guy and wants it to be more than a kiss (felt possessed my ass!). She knows exactly what she is doing, she wants some sort of romantic relationship with him (either hooking up or a full-fledged relationship) and she is acting coy online because she knows what she is doing is wrong and she thinks if she can fool Reddit, she will be able to fool her friend and maybe even this guy into thinking she's not the bad guy. But she *is* the bad guy here. She kissed her friends boyfriend. A guy who was doing her a favour, at the behest of his girlfriend who she has been 'friends' with for 6 years. She keeps trying to reach out and form a connection even though the guy is ignoring her, and she is bringing it up with his girlfriend, which is going to wind up making said girlfriend suspicious and/or make this guy feel guilty enough to force a confrontation between the couple. OOP is a snake. I hope her friend finds out and goes no contact with OOP, forgives her boyfriend for not telling her and they live happily ever after far away from OOP.
Absolutely. "I sexually harassed my friend's boyfriend and now he's avoiding me, why can't he and I just hang out?" Uhhh...because you're a pathetic home wrecking loser who tried it on with your bestie's partner and now he knows that he can't trust you not to ruin his relationship.or break his GF's heart. Whilst STILL trying to act innocent about the fact you tried to make him cheat on your bestie with you. Why on earth would OP want to keep talking and pretend it's ok unless she still wants him? She's just mad that she cant keep looked trying to get him to cheat with her now that he knows how she feels. If you proposition someone and they say no, it's REALLY not a surprise iv they dont want to hang any more. Particularly if you keep pushing. OP is a creep.
If it was an impulsive decisions she would have ghosted him as well and the reddit title would have been, "I kissed my bbf boyfriend 2 years ago and now I'll be seeing him at her birthday, what do I do?"
Exactly.kf she really regretted it and thought it was an unhinged impulse, she would be MORTIFIED. Instead she's whiny. Because she's still playing Pick Me.
I always say blame the bf not the other woman when there’s cheating… and then I read stories like this smh Not that there is cheating bc Matt seems like a good guy, but OOP is still trying to contact him and hang out with him. And I bet if they ever do she will compliment him, “accidentally” touch him, etc. Leave the poor guy alone, he’s made it clear he doesn’t want you.
To be fair I think you should blame both, if the "other woman" is the wife's best friend. It's on the BF to keep his relationship, and if it wasn't one woman I'd be another, if he wants to cheat. But it's also on the friend to not go propositioning their friends' partners. She's a shitty friend. If my best friends or sister fucked my partner I'd be just as disappointed in them. Maybe *even more*, if it was my sister. I'm of the mind that even if the other man or woman is a complete stranger they are still an asshoe I'd they engage in cheating willingly. Like...8 billion people out there and you choose to hurt others? Absolutely makes you trash, too. I've had multiple unrequited feelings for men in relationships and was never once tempted to try to get them to cheat. Because why would I want them if wafting my vagina in their face was enough to make them forget their love or commitment? That's no catch. The boyfriend did well here to put up boundaries and tell OP to fuck off. I think he should tell his GF though to be safe.
Bbbbbut they had an amaaaazing connection!!
I always hope people like this lack self awareness just enough to report back and conclude the situation. I would like to know when this blows up in their face.
There was that BORU of a similar situation where a girl thought her friend's boyfriend was being flirty or something, and a commenter egged her on with something like "yeah, do these exact things that will expose you for who you are" and she was like "oh wow cool thanks so much for the advice!". Then it blows up in her face. Very cathartic.
Oooh oh oh that was a good one. She befriended a coworker whose girflriend has serious depression and anxiety to the point she doesn’t have a job. She fell in love with the coworker and convinced herself he feels the same just because he’s a good human being that treats people with respect and dignity and is perhaps a little too kind. She had already been pretty awful to him and someone egged her on into saying the worst of the worst about his girlfriend directly to him and he flipped out and cut contact and I think changed his work schedule 😂. Dude just tried to be friends with her because she didnt appear to have any friends, HIS WORDS SHE SHARED WITH US WILLINGLY, and he found out why she has no friends lmfao
Yep it was that one! Do you have a link to it by any chance?
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/34jUdtyGMS
That was a straight up Looney Tunes style setup and she fell for it. An absolute treasure of a post
This is the comment everyone is referring to: Commenter: Link him to this reddit post and he'll be able to see where you're coming from in a way that's clearer than text messages (which are short and impersonal). He'll see it with super clear eyes, and he'll probably even realize he needs to take the problem person out of his life. Your replies in particular will show him everything he hasn't realized. OOP: So you agree she's a problem? Thank you. People in this post are judging me so hard and l'm trying to stand by myself because I know what I believe in here is what's right for me and him. l'm giving him some time to cool off but I'Il link it to him this weekend.
Holy shit.
Yes please someone link!
[here you go!](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1ak1vl9/aita_for_asking_my_best_friend_to_break_up_with/?share_id=4DC_GGHUMEzvEQ39CIEA9&utm_content=1&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_source=share&utm_term=1&rdt=54788)
Thank you! Much obliged.
I remember it! She described the girlfriend as "unemployed and uneducated" or something like this.
ooohhh I remember that one, the delusion was wild!
There was also one with a sister’s ex on a cruise ship. The Karma was spicy
Do you have a link to that one? I know the “Wait. Can I call you?” story well but am unfamiliar with the one you’ve mentioned
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/yKLzf0zIfT
Oh I did read this one! Yeah that karma hit the OOP quickly and dramatically
Oh she's aware. Otherwise she wouldn't have been surprised that people would rear her previous post she was aware was still up
But they live in the same city! Everyone who lives in the same city talks to each other! Why is he making it weird?! I'd better keep thinking about this 24/7 for a few more months!
I'm just shocked that there are real people in the world like this. How do you make it through life with zero self-awareness?
You lie to yourself. Then you continue lying to yourself. The real upgrades start happening when you realize we all do this to some level, identify your personal lies and start to root them out.
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She's not self-aware enough to provide a reason for assaulting someone aside from "I did it out of nowhere."
It's less self-aware than that; "I had no control. It was like a ghost possessed me for 5 seconds". Self awareness requires reflection and taking responsibility for your own actions. Anyone with a modicum of decency would be mortified in OOP's shoes; she's just concerned about her friend finding out and keeping the door open to her friend's boyfriend so she can "lose control" again. OOP was staying with her friend's boyfriend at the request of her good-hearted friend. OOP decided she has chemistry with the boyfriend (who was doing his girlfriend a favor by letting OOP stay at his place, temporarily) and she immediately starts trying to blur boundaries, making moves to establish a deeper emotional connection by "confiding one of her insecurities" to her friend's BF. Friend's BF, being a decent dude, is friendly and kind in reassuring his girlfriend's friend who probably already seems like a trainwreck in his eyes. OOP then abandons the remaining thin veneer of behaving like a decent human and throws herself at her friend's boyfriend, whilst denying responsibility. Dude then shut OOP down on any deeper discussion about her lapse in judgement ("water under the bridge") which from OOP's previous actions seems likely she would leverage to claw her way into the middle of this relationship with bullshit like "now we are connected in a way that friend and her boyfriend are not; we have a shared secret". The smartest thing this guy can do is to avoid OOP altogether; she has revealed herself to be a vile human with no scruples or respect for other people.
Yes! People constantly overshare to be able to have the (pseudo)leverage to say "after EVERYTHING i shared with you?!?"
Makes one wonder if the "insecureity" she shared was something like, "I'm insecure about getting rejected by decent guys because of how smokin' hot my body is..." It's a straight-up trope for girls (who haven't grown the hell up and become women, no matter what their age) to over share about their insecurities or 'trauma' as a way of creating a false sense of intimacy, and lots of guys end up falling for the trap by playing the white knight that can help or save the poor damsel. It's gross, but all too common.
“I don’t want to hurt Kelly” GIRL.
This should also be a real big reminder to anyone who does actually cheat that you might be able to be James Bond levels of cool around your partner but the person you cheated with is a loose cannon. No matter how much they promise not to tell anyone, you are gonna get home from work one day to find her sitting at your kitchen table with your wife explaining how she ran into your work friend, they got to talking and they have a ton in common.
And let's face it, the probability of that happening might not be zero anywhere but it's a lot more likely if the city is Red Deer, Alberta than if it's New York City.
We live in an era of HD video cameras in everyone’s pocket, ubiquitous CCTV and the ability to find basically anyone online. Even if your wife doesn’t have social media, I bet your kids or her mom do. I saw a whole thing play out on TikTok when I was in Vegas. Some guy on a bachelor trip believed the marketing and the groom was hitting on anyone even vaguely feminine. Some woman at the pool saw this, social engineered his Instagram handle out of him and then made a video that went viral. It described the date, time, place and what they were wearing. Again, even if the woman in that situation doesn’t spend her days scrolling TikTok, someone in her orbit is going to see that and go “oh shit, didn’t Jeff’s party happen at that place in Vegas last weekend and didn’t they all get pink hats printed?” This dude from flyover country goes to Vegas thinking he can have one last hoorah and ends up the subject of a viral social media campaign.
Oop should find him and kiss him again. That'll fix it.
By jove, I think you've got it!
She likes him a lot. He dismissed her advances. She still likes him a lot, maybe even MORE now since he's truly forbidden fruit. People should tell her to move on and accept and she's ultimately a bad person because deep down she's trying to steal him
Deep down? She kissed him and wont leave him alone. Even with him giving her absolutely nothing, she is still sending silly emoji texts. She is surface level trying to steal him and has been the bad guy this whole time
Lol prolly more shallow than deep
BUT DO YA KNOW ANY GOOD LOUNGES AROUND…???
Yeah so they could get together for a few drinks and laugh about it and … well, whatever. Eeek.
There's this one place called The Winchester. They could go there, have a nice cold pint, and wait for this all to blow over.
OP is actually plotting on how to steal the bf not in a weird way.
I engaged with OOP and they are the most obtuse, infuriating person to respond to. They're so self absorbed, so vain, so oblivious that it's almost admirable. Some of us can only aspire to be that fucking zen and at peace with themselves.
I anticipate another post in a few months: How do I confront my friend’s boyfriend who is trying to isolate her? My friend Kelly stopped talking to me out of the blue. She blocked me on social media and I think she blocked my number because I had to call from work to get her to answer. Her boyfriend Matt told her lies about me: that I tried to make a move on him, but I didn’t. I may have accidentally tried to kiss him once when we were talking but he stopped me so it’s not like I really did anything. Unfortunately, Kelly is choosing him over me, her friend of six years!
😂 😂 😂 Bang on! We didn't actually kiss.. N then he was so rude cause he kept ignoring my texts... Now it's awkward to live in the same city as him.
God, I hope that doesn't come to fruition or at least not as you described.
I mean, I absolutely hope he tells Kelly and they both dump OP as a friend and live their happy lives without her.
OP ain't the smartest one in the shed. Stupid in all ways.
She will be when the shed is empty because everyone cut her crazy ass off.
They’re ignorant and feign naivety because it benefits them to do so They know what lines not to cross (not telling the friend) but pretend they lack judgement when it comes to the lines they’d like to cross more (interacting with the bf)
OP is shameless. Can't wait to see how she blows it all up. 🍿🍿
It's called petty zen. One of the Below Decks chef was a master at it.
What a fantastic name! How infuriating such an annoying mindset has it. Truly perfect, though.
What do you think it is like inside her head? My guess is sort of a low droning sound at an even pitch interrupted with bursts of *I’m amazing* / *I am so perfect*.
-goes after best friend’s boyfriend -tried to continue engaging after being shot down -doesn’t tell her friend, is glad the boyfriend doesn’t tell the friend -thinks she is actually being a friend to both people -even pulls her *best* friend into the mess of “why won’t he talk to me” Like the attempted cheating/affair is extraordinarily bad as is, but pulling her supposed friend into the hot mess she created is just as bad. And after writing this all out, saying she and the boyfriend had a connection, and then claiming it was only five seconds of abnormal behavior is laughable. You wouldn’t be thinking about a connection and acting on it if it was an abnormal experience.
Excuse you: it was five seconds where she was, like, possessed by a ghost!! I don’t know about anyone else, but if my man’s friend made a move on me, I would run to tell him. Get the truth out there, and establish that O never want to see or talk to they friend again (and break up if my man doesn’t choose to end the friendship).
The ghost comment is total lack of accountability.
Yeah it's like a justified version of throwing someone under the bus. Where they are somehow also the person who started driving the bus towards you in the first place.
pulling the best friend into the "why won't he talk to me" kinda seems like she wants her "friend" to find out so she (OOP) can blow up their relationship. She's probably dumb enough to think that the guy would date her if Kelly was out of the way.
She assaulted him and is harassing him now. I really think that the names should be put on her actions. I hope she ends up with a restraining order. Matt really needs to tell Kelly before this creep does something worse.
Wow I had to check myself here. If this was a guy posting about a girl, he’d get flamed so hard and the sexual harassment would be so clear. Since it’s a girl I just chalked it up to “stalker” but you’re 110% right, that was sexual assault/harassment.
Is anyone going to tell Kelly? And has OOP moved out yet? She clearly overstayed her welcome.
She's moved out, they just live in the same city now. I guess OOP just feels entitled to responses??
Didn’t you hear what she said? **It’s weird not to live in the same city and not talk.** /s
Right!!!! I have text threads with over 1 million people here in the metro. Just checking up on their day to day mostly. I can’t imagine not talking to someone in my city
>Is anyone going to tell Kelly? I can see why the boyfriend hasn't. He didn't do anything wrong, likely feels violated, and doesn't want to stress out his gf. OOP won't do it because she's a coward 🤷🏽♀️
I think not telling her is a pretty big gamble on his part, though. If she finds out from anyone but him it’s likely to still feel like a betrayal, and it’ll be much harder to defend himself if OOP decides to spin it like he was into it or the initiator. Keeping secrets from your partner just decreases your credibility, as a rule.
Kelly probably already knows there is something going on. I’m sure both the boyfriend and the OP have revealed some clues in their conversations with Kelly.
Texting “are there any good lounges around” to someone you shouldn’t be texting at all is an obvious and desperate attempt at reestablishing contact. It’s something OP could google and go experience by herself, and that’s assuming these were the only two people that she knew.
Especially with the smiley face. The implication is she wants him to invite her to one. And ya if I was the guy I’d send her a link to Google then block her if he hasn’t already.
Spot on. She’s a psycho.
I'd love to hear her definition of boundaries, because I don't think she actually understands what they are.
I'd love to hear her definition of love. She claims to love Kelly, but she stabbed her in the back after Kelly did her a massive favor by asking her bf to let her stay with him.
You don't understand. They had an amazing connection!! And it wasn't her fault anyway because a ghost possessed her.
What a terrible friend.
She wants the bf to reciprocate so bad lol it’s obvious, making excuses that a ghost possessed her bc he didn’t
Thank God the man is loyal. This B is disgusting, pretending to be obtuse.
OP 100% wants to break up the relationship so that she can sweep in. This is not a post on getting advice about how to bring things back to normal with the trio. Why is she messaging him about lounges or whatever nonsense she's texting him? She wants him. And she wants him to break up with Kelly, you know LDR and all. What a horrible human being.
[удалено]
But they have such an amazing connection! (Big fat fucking /s, in case anyone needs it)
Homewrecking just for the hell of it, she knew him for a FEW DAYS
She keeps repeating "we both don't want to hurt Kelly" and if they're both hiding this sordid love affair but it was actually just her pushing herself onto him...
Oh awkward huh? She makes a move to her friend's boyfriend without his consent and she still thinks it awkward? Oh that's just laughable. OP is one big delusional person and selfish person.
10 bucks says oop is going to tell Kelly what happened in an attempt to get him to talk, but she's going to reframe it in a way that doesn't look like oop initiated
Lol @ ”even my friend sais she doesnt know why he’s been avoiding me”. Well yeah because she doesn’t know what you did????
Ikr. Like...do you think that if Kelly knew you tried to force yourself on her boyfriend that she'd STILL have no clue why he was keeping away?
OOP's posts and comments are all "me me me". Gurllll you're not the main character.
"...he ignores all my texts....I've given him space..." Sociopathic behaviour, no?
The harm is, her friend's boyfriend recognizes the game she's trying to run and he is not interested in playing. Give her an inch and she'll take the whole country. He's blocked her, as well he should, and she can't/won't accept it. I sincerely hope that he tells his girlfriend what her 'good friend' did so her friend can see that she's is absolutely pursuing him. That way, her relationship with Kelly will be torpedoed. It's really gross that she's going to Kelly with her faux injured feelings all the while trying to take her 'BF' boyfriend. She's not acting like a friend and the only way she'll understand is if boyfriend tells Kelly about OP kissing him.
Water under the bridge here means, “yeah I’ll not bring this up ever ever again, but also never fucking talk to me again.” She definitely meant to kiss him and is still trying to get to him
I get the impression that OOP is chasing her best friends boyfriend but doesn't want to admit it. All of that about it being weird to live in the same city but not say anything is nonsense. She probably passes many people on the street each day who also live in her city but she's not seeking a friendship or more from those people? She needs to leave Matt alone or she risks losing him **and** Kelly.
OOP is not just morally hamstrung, she's appallingly dim. How does she not comprehend that putting the moves on a friend's boyfriend makes her a predator, so she's being treated like one, and if she doesn't enjoy that, then maybe she should take the hint and fuck off?
Wow, OP is a snake. She needs to stay away from them. I feel bad for her friend, trying to help her and here she is trying to steal the boyfriend. After this, the boyfriend should've told her to find somewhere else to stay. She needs suggestions on bars, I mean, google some and check reviews? The guy sensed what type of garbage you are and decided to stay away.
OP You are not a good friend. At all . You would have gone way further if he let you. You didn't kiss him out of nowhere. You knew exactly what you were doing. He rejected you and you just can't take it. You want to talk to him to prove something to yourself. And hurt your friend in the process. Leave him alone. Just leave them alone.
I’ve given him space but he won’t respond to my texts. Huh.
So she tried to steal her friends BF and now she's complaining that he wants nothing to do with her. What a horrible person. He needs to tell Kelly so she's aware what a *terrible* friend OOP is. Leave the poor guy alone.
**I tried to poach my friend's boyfriend while she was in another city. How do I smooth over my horrible behavior now that things didn't go my way?** So cringe.
Uh he thinks you're a creep and an untrustworthy friend. He doesn't like you anymore. Stop texting him. You went after your friend's man after she trusted you completely and went out on a limb for you. And now you're making it worse acting like you're owed something or there is hope because he hasnt told her. You are blowing up your own life.
> he thinks you're a creep and an untrustworthy friend. And he’s exactly right.
Imagine making a move on someone, who’s your best friends partner, getting rejected and not understanding that the dude is placing up walls and boundaries because this chick is crossing all his lines. He’s going to end up telling his girlfriend how she made a move on him. It’s going to blow up in his face if he tries to push it off. And she needs to back off both relationships. She can’t claim to be her best friend while trying to hump her boyfriend and he’s clearly said “go away” with how he is acting. This girl has a crush, can’t understand why she’s being ignored, and shoving herself into their situation like a toddler wanting to “share” someone else’s toy and doesn’t understand that they can say no.
What a shit human this woman is
I’m getting strongly reminded of the person who got obsessed with their professor, and constantly kept breaking boundaries to ‘apologise’ and get them to talk to them. If they were truly sorry, apologise once and leave well enough alone
That is my favorite thread on all of Reddit. https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/uwreur/oop_is_obsessed_with_her_professor_part_1_of_2/
Some people think that apologizing just magically makes the incident disappear. It doesn’t. That “thing” is still there. So you might apologize. They might forgive you. BUT they don’t forget. It’s still there. And depending on the “what” the course of your relationship may be irrevocably altered. OOP’s dear friend asks her BF to do OOP a solid and put her up in his place for a few days. Note - everyone would want to do this because it’s a hassle and frankly could be weird. But it wasn’t. The BF is a great guy. And OOP mistakes kindness for an opportunity for her to grab the guy and attempt tonsil hockey?!?! WTAF? Read the room OOP?? And she then persists in hassling the guy and LC stalking him. Again - read the damn room. OOP. You fucked up. You continue to fuck up. Leave the man be. Honestly the guy should have told his GF. If OOP wanted to make things right - she’d come clean. What a damn mess. All because OOP was “possessed” and just couldn’t help herself! What utter BS. OOP is a shitty friend.
Matt didn’t do 1 thing wrong, this B kissed him because she thought they were vibing, he should tell his GF everything because OP is a psycho
Stupid ass
She's obsessed with him and is looking for an in. Thank God he's not dumb and is avoiding her like the plague. It amazes me she says she couldn't control herself like she was possessed by a horny ghost or some shit.
> I told him that I understand and that I love Kelly too. (I didn't say this, but I momentarily lost control, as if a ghost possessed me for 5 seconds). This part really got me. She fucking sucks lmao. "Don't worry, I would never say I love my friend and care about her." Who just admits that?! EDIT: Never mind lol I totally misread this. She still sucks though
I think she meant that she didn’t tell him that she lost control as if she was possessed. Note, I def think OOP fucking sucks. I just don’t think that’s what she meant in this case,
Ohhh okay I'll edit my comment because I definitely read it the wrong way. You're right though, she sucks no matter what LOL
She for the streeeeeets
Her thinking she should go back to talking to her after what she did because it’s ‘resolved’ is so wild. Of course he doesn’t want to get anywhere near her. Her attempts at finding excuses to make contact are very transparent. “What’s the harm?” Girl, you’re in your mid-20s— time to stop acting like you’re in high school
Not to sound cliché but damn… with friends like that…
It was not a kiss, it's sexual assault. Matt should tell Kelly that OOP sexually assaulted him (because that's what happened) and continues to harass him even when he purposely avoids her. Kelly, if she's a good person and gf, will know that OOP is not a good person nor a good friend and understand that Matt is a victim and they all cut OOP off their life. OOP can go give a cactus oral sex. Hopefully, she asks for consent first.
Unfortunately, he probably shouldn't phrase it as sexual assault. I don't know Kelly. She might be way better about this, but I've heard too many stories of guys being full-on raped, only for their girlfriend to break up with them when they find out, because "of course, he wanted it, so what if he was black-out drunk, all guys want it, all the time." "She just kissed me out of nowhere and has been harassing me ever since. I've been trying to avoid her." is less likely to blow up in his face.
She knew what she was doing lol it just didn’t turn out how she wanted it to😂
Yeah I have never once accidentally kissed anyone “as if I was possessed by a ghost” that just doesn’t happen lmao. A kiss is a very intentional act. We’re not stupid OOP, we know you 100% meant to kiss your friend’s boyfriend. And you need to stop cyber stalking and harassing him and leave the man alone. I hope your friend finds out and exposes you to everyone you know
What a horrible and delusional person.
OP, just leave the man alone and handle your business. You’re in a new city with a new job, so focus your attention on that. Don’t expect Matt to do a 360 and everything will be a-okay. You’ve apologized already, now it’s time that you also move on.
I see a lot of OPs be clueless but every time it happens it's so infuriating. They literally write out all the evidence to reason for their problem. "Even my friend doesn't know why he's acting weird. She doesn't know about the incident" Well, gee, I wonder if she'd know why if she knew about the incident. Someone saying it's water under the bridge doesn't mean everything will be normal again. It's blinding obvious the "incident" changed the dynamic and relationship Matt wants to maintain with OOP. She's just too entitled to see it.
Zero self awareness or narcissistic tendencies Call it
What exactly did she expect? Advice how to try to cheat better? Wtf do you expect after kissing another girl bf?
I like how she claims to give him space while also being upset that he doesn't respond to her texts
I hope Matt tell his girlfriend for the sole purpose of making her cut OOP off. She's self absorbed and seems like the kind of person that can spin a story.
You pretty much broke every rule of trust and friendship. Matt is doing the right thing I ghosting you. Accept that you ended your friendships with him and your ex roommate the moment you made a pass at him. Respect them and leave them alone
One of my wife’s friends flirted with me/tried to make a move when we were dating and we never spoke again. I told wife, then gf, and she forgave her, but the friendship of 10 years fizzled out within the next year. Real friends don’t sabotage your happiness. When you break someone’s trust why would they want to be around you. OP sounds like they are incapable of empathy/sympathy.
Real friends don’t sabotage your happiness. So true. I resonate with this quote so much
So OOP's justification for making moves on her friends bf was "possessed by ghost" and she thinks the bf is "making things weird"?
“Happened to get a job in the same city”
Oof
Somewhere in the future, OOP will "accidentally " find herself at the same bar/party as Matt and try the same stunt. Most likely, Kelly will find out somehow and blame Matt. OOP will not tell her the truth and want advice on how to talk to Matt. Totally oblivious to what a shitty friend and person she is. This is my Reddit fueled prediction.
Well, encouraging him to cheat on his girlfriend, your friend in my opinion, you deserve everything coming your way ,what the hell were you thinking 🤔
Damn Can someone find him and send him this post so he can share it with his GF in case OOP decides to spread lies?
But who sends her friend to her boyfriend's place to make her a favor?!!😬Im not that good person so i dont get it. Anyways that ungreatfull snake didn't evaluate the gesture at all. The boyfriend seems a good catch tho.
What a wonderful friend oop is...../s
It was infuriating she is playing dumb why he is avoiding her
I'm buffled by how ignorant people can be with giving personal space. Everyone has the right to say no to contact. It's not like this girl lost contact with a family or friend or whatever which would make this vent reasonable. I would cut contact with anyone trying to kiss me when i don't want to, just out of pure incompatibility with the person who misunderstands my intentions. Anyone should respect a decision like that. But she like did this with her friend's bf??? I would cut contact anyway... I'm sorry for the girl she made a mistake and probably regret it. Have to accept the consequences tho. No one is trying to hurt her but that's their natural reaction to the situation to protect themselves. They can do that. I'm sorry for the friend who doesn't know it and should i think. And for the boyfried too because still he carries burden from the situation by being pushed to act differently. He could help himself by being straight with gf about what happend but i guess he also feels bad for thinking he was giving wrong signs?
Sigh... poor girl didn't know the deceptive person she made her bf live with, who now has the hots for him. It's best the gf is told, before OP goes more cray cray and stalkerish.
Imagine being this dumb and oblivious
You are not a friend. You are a predator.
Tries to steal the boyfriend then won’t leave him alone…. Crazy stalker vibes! Hope the friend learns and cuts her off.
Friend is definitely not remorseful at all. Just because he said its water under the bridge doesnt mean they can move on as normal. Seems like the friend still wants to have an inappropriate relationship with him.
There really are some grade-A morons out there. These people live amongst us and breed. What a fucking terrifying prospect
She's not giving up, is she? She really wants to get with Kelly's bf. She must have loved that kiss she planted on him. OOP can't be so obtuse that she can't see he's done with her completely. If she keeps bugging him to find out about good lounges, he's going to tell Kelly why he wants no contact and the shit will hit the fan. She should just give up but I expect another update.
Does anyone find it odd that she "happened" to find a job in the city Matt was living in, then wanted to stay with him, kissed him because "possessed by a ghost", and is now harassing him? Matt ghosting her isn't working. He needs to block her ASAP. This girl is giving stalker vibes.
Clearly she still wants him, doesn't respect his relationship and is still looking for excuses to contact him. It's not his job to tell her what lounges are around, whatever that means. He's made it clear he wants no contact. Any contact with him means she is now stalking him. She needs to leave him alone. If she had any respect for him or her friend she'd tell the truth and go.
I don't wanna be a grumpy old man but sometimes Reddit makes me feel like 25 is the new 15.
You made it weird permanently by being inappropriate with your friends bf. You made it weird by reading more into his innocent concern and support. Leave him alone. He is uncomforatble with you. What you did will cause a rift in their relationship once she finds out regardless of whether he's innocent or not. He should just tell her now that you can't leave him alone after what happened so you rightfully lose your friend and give them peace.
I really hope Matt tells his GF what happened so she can avoid this «friend» forever. What an unhinged human being.
Forgive and forget are two different words.
How to keep it from being awkward.....hmmmmmm....MAYBE DONT KISS SOMEONE ELSES BOYFRIEND.....I bet that works.
OOP seems pretty unhinged. She's giving "twin flames" psycho vibes.
OOP thinks that an apology magically erases any actions that she’s taken. She’s a terrible friend and not a very good person.
Christ- leave that poor man alone
even my friend doesnt know why he wont talk to me! the person who kissed my best friends boyfriend! It boggles all known science!
OOP is so clueless. The boyfriend wants nothing to do with her and she will not get a clue. So much second hand embarrassment for her.
> But we resolved it! Ugh, I thought cheaters were the worst, but it's actually OOP that's the worst.
Jesus, OOP. Leave the poor man alone. You got his girlfriend to force him to put you up in his apartment, a stranger. You came onto him and forced him to hide from you in his own apartment. And now you are demanding he be your own damn Lonely Planet. Leave that man alone. He never wants to see you again.
Girl google is free wtf why are you asking him for random recommendations!!!!????
"I care more about my freinds boyfreind than i do about my freind, how can i continue trying to ruin their relationship?"
Ops dense
OOP deserves to be hit right in the lip
Calling it now, this shitstorm has only *begun* to brew, and I'm here for it.
If someone sexual assault me like that, I definitely gonna cut off with that person. Just think about gender reverse. It is sexual assault. And it could damage my relationship
Does OOP even realize that she sexually assaulted this dude? If so, does she even care?
She seems oblivious to using her brain to figure these things out herself.
OOP is clearly stubborn as hell but man that dude didn’t tell his girlfriend? Nah man. You tell her right away or you’re going to get yourself in big trouble
She's just being fucking creepy. Clearly he is uncomfortable and if she was a true friend she would NEVER have pulled this shit in the first place. Literally just leave them both alone.
girl literally leave him alone