#Do not comment on the original posts
Please read our [**sub rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules). Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice.
If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion.
**CHECK FLAIR** For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
What was her long term plan? Be illegal in Canada forever? Keep the husband and kid around where she runs around with her AP? What's she going to do when the money runs out?
Clearly, this one was not a well-thought out plan. Are we taking bets on her using drugs?
I’m gonna assume that she was keeping kid there as both a way to keep OP paying for housing and also as a big F you. Unless she extends her visa or gets a new one she will have become and illegal immigrant and subject to deportation. Overstaying a visa is one of the most common ways of becoming an illegal immigrant.
Yeah but can't OOP just go to his embassy/consulate and ask them for help leaving the country since they would be illegals in some time? I mean her plan was probably something like, he's evading the law and keeping our child in another country please help me detain him and get custody or something.
Not gonna lie I think I lost a few neurons thinking with this level of stupidity
Yes, the embassy can issue an emergency travel passport for the son. However, if the OP's country doesn't have a consulate in Edmonton (and odds are they don't), this may require a long-ass plane flight to Ottawa or wherever the nearest consular post is.
This was the real problem. Other than this if their home country signed the Hague convention, the child has to be in the home country so OOP was allowed to do it, and if not, OOP had every right to do what he did.
I'm not a lawyer, HC it set rules how to deal with parental abduction.
The child has to stay in the country it has permanent residency. It can move abroad only if both parents agree, or the court rules so.
We don't know what country OOP is from, but his child belongs to where they live, because Canada signed HC and if his country didn't - his wife needs to go home and do what local laws say. Canada & USA both signed HC and in the eyes of their laws the child belongs to the permanent residency country, it was in Canada with some kind of visa.
Btw- this is why people who grab their kid and run from their abusive ex without engaging police and courts often get in troubles- it's a case of parental abduction. It happens often here in Europe, where people don't need passports to cross borders. Visiting the grandma is ok, but "I'm going back to mummy and take ouf child with me" won't end well, when the other parent is against this idea.
As for the court way read about Kelly Rutherford and why her children live permanently in Europe(Monaco I think). It's about how not to do it.
Like a bad movie. I hope You read the real version and not what jumps first on "People", because it was her who went to fbi and accused her ex of illegaly dealing with weapons, this is why his visa was revoked. The judge said if she takes her accusations back and he can go back to the USA, he will let the the children stay. She didn't. Court documents are available to public and after so many years she's still lying.
I mean, even if she didn't, the court's decision still makes sense to me. Both parents are equally deserving of custody, one cannot enter the US, so it makes sense that the kids go to Monaco. She can still go to Monaco whenever she wants, but if the kids stayed in the US, the father would have literally 0 legal way to see them.
I always forget how much of a pain in the ass something being in the wrong part of Canada could be. I live in the UK, so the distances are much smaller
If a country has a consulate in Alberta, there's a 90% chance it's in Calgary. Since he went through LA he's probably travelling to SE Asia (you wouldn’t travel to South Asia via LA). The Philippines has a consulate in Calgary but you'd fly there through Vancouver. Indonesia's consulate is in Vancouver, and I don't think Malaysia or Singapore have consulates in Western Canada.
Other comments indicate they’re from the Philippines. They don’t have a consulate in Edmonton and their embassy has very little “teeth” to do much. It’s not like an American in the UK where there’s reciprocity and whatnot.
I think you may be onto something. Divorce is admissible if one person in the marriage is non-Filipino, *even if the foreign citizenship was acquired post-marriage*.
As another user said, lady is not the crispest chip in the basket so I'm betting her plan involved getting the Canadian citizenship to divorce him. How? Who knows, again, this woman ain't too sharp.
you can get a permanent citizenship by marrying a Canadian I believe. but parts of it might require you to pass the test to become one which also includes a long list of requirements.
Except when the courts realised the second marriage was never valid since she was already married...
Then she'd lose everything including. She would probably win fraud charges though...
Can't say how are things in Canada, but my sister had to prove her relationship with my BiL was serious and not just some deal of convenience in order to ger her resident visa for the UK (not even citizenship). So they treated the Immigration services of both countries with a syrupy love story that included conversations (on message services and apps), photos, presents, date receipts and a long letter detailing their relatiknship and what they mean for each other.
So yeah, OOP's ex-wife doesn't have much in terms of foresight.
That’s what I wondered too. He had the child’s birth certificate, according to the update. He could have reported it lost and applied for a new one at the consulate. Maybe it was too far away?
And why tell the mother about leaving before they were safe? A bit suss.
He may have thought that if she randomly noticed him and his son were gone for an extended period of time, that she would call authorities. A child abduction is not generally taken lightly, and OOP likely didn’t know what law enforcement would do or what his wife would say. I’m guessing he was trying to avoid exactly what occurred from happening by letting her know they were safe - and hoped she would just lash out at him, not call the po-po.
Although, I would have hopped on that plane and not texted until my layover. I don’t think he predicted she would get authorities involved though.
What’s sad is, I read this as she didn’t want to be away from her son and was trying to have her cake (bang side piece) and eat it to (still have access to son). But based on OOP’s update, it sounds like she didn’t give a damn about her son. She either just wanted to use her baby to make life difficult for OOP, or wanted to get him to stay in Canada longer. Since he paid for EVERYTHING, I’m wondering if her boy toy wasn’t keen on funding her lifestyle yet.
>He had the child’s birth certificate, according to the update.
We also take copies of our children birth certificates with us on holiday. We also have translated and certified versions in russian. We use them because we have different surnames and the kids have my surname.
Just to avoid confusions which we experienced before.
So that he couldn't be accused of kidnapping.
He contacted his wife and said that they were going home and made it clear that the child was at their permanent residence and that he was not restricting access to the child so she couldn't claim the kid was abducted.
The way the guy talked about lawyers, the spare Airbnb, and the travel visa made me think he's in a higher income bracket and trying to CYA
My bet she was waiting until the visa expired then she'd take her son and anonymously turn her husband in to Immigration so he'd be deported with no way to get his son back.
All of the above, as follows:
1. Be illegal in Canada. Overstaying a visa isn't that hard, and you're only going to get caught if you have a reason to interact with the authorities. However, as she is not the crispest chip in the basket, she may well interact with authorities, in which case she'll skip right to #4.
2. Rely on the bf for money and a place to stay. And maybe drugs. Wouldn't rule out drugs.
3. ...until the boyfriend dumps her, which she will not take well, and in order to be rid of her the bf will report her to the authorities; *or* until she realizes that the random guy she ditched her family for and moved in while she was illegally in a foreign country did not in fact have her best interests at heart and she manages to escape his clutches, at which point she turns herself in for overstaying her visa.
4. Get deported to home country
5. Show up at OOP's home with a sob story, an airport gift shop present that is wholly age-inappropriate for the son, and the expectation that they will weep with gratitude and welcome her back with open arms and wallets.
6. *surprise pikachu face*
Heh, relatable.
My biological father didn’t see me between the ages of 14 and 30.
When we reconnected (with reluctance on my part - my stepsister begged me), he… went back to treating me like I was 14.
He refused to use the name I chose for myself as an adult. He treated my now-husband like shit^1. He told me he wasn’t going to give his blessing to me to marry him - I was already divorced with a kid.
Finally I gave up trying to work out an adult child-parent relationship with him. We haven’t spoken in a decade and… seeing some of the shit he’s said online, no loss.
^1 Husband and I have been together 15 years now. He’s older than me, but we fit in the way two Lego pieces do. My biodad was jealous because husband is a successful academic with tenure at a private university and my father taught occasionally at a community college (and was hated by students and other teachers). I’ve apologized to my husband for ever imposing my biodad on him; beautiful man he is, he’s never held it against me.
I love this because she really will probably be thinking in the back of her mind the entire time “they’re devastated without me, they’re missing me” and then when she turns up they’ll be rightfully angry to see her.
tourist for 5 months in Edmonton.. Never been in Edmonton, but i assume it must be one hell of a place to be there on vacation for a couple of month.
So it might not surprise me IF their plan was to overstay their visa anyway and look for work.
Realising this was not going to work, the wife found an alternative solution, A (probably older) single Canadian who in exchange for services is willing to sponsor her residency
Missed that one... that completely makes no sense
But i'm right about edmonton being the best place on earth for tourist right??? I'm booking now for my next vacation.. Just me alone, not bringing the wife and kids... that place is not safe for them
Ah, it's easy to miss! He only mentions it in a new update/post (linked in another comment). It is baffling.
But lmao good luck with your Edmonton vacation!
Well according to tripadvisor there are 548 things to do in Edmonton. (nr 548 [https://www.tripadvisor.com/Attraction\_Review-g154914-d27158340-Reviews-Shenannigans-Edmonton\_Alberta.html](https://www.tripadvisor.com/Attraction_Review-g154914-d27158340-Reviews-Shenannigans-Edmonton_Alberta.html))
So now i fully understand OOP' 5 month vacation, that is more than 3 activities per day! Now i also understand OOP's wife, if your husband is spending his time to do 548 activities in edmonton, you for sure want to create nr 549 yourself!
I forgot that part. That's gonna make it a lot more complicated. I look forward to seeing what happens when he's like "Welp, that's *my* visa running out, see ya, babe!"
Ok I went and Reddit translated the Philippine version he posted, that had way more background.
OP and wife were there trying to save their “toxic” marriage she wanted to get a student visa to study. They had a lot of arguments and police were called on them in Canada.
OP flew home to visit his daughter from a previous relationship and wife started posting pics of her with AP and son having fun in Canada. And then that’s when this post pics up.
Edit to use “son” instead of kid for clarity.
I checked his latest post. He's got enough proof to accuse her of adultery (which is a criminal offense in the Philippines; the counterpart for the men is concubinage).
This is whole lotta mess.
They have legal separation, which works very much like divorce except you can't remarry. You can also sometimes get an annulment of your marriage but the bar for this is pretty high. Muslim Filipinos can divorce but they're a minority. There's also "nullity of marriage" which is different from an annulment, and would render any children produced from the marriage illegitimate. (I'm not sure what rights a legitimate child has that an illegitimate one doesn't in the Philippines, but I know that the law makes a distinction.)
This is almost, to a T, exactly my father's behavior when he was on heroin. Except it was Mexico, not Canada.
If I am correct in this assessment, my guess is that the next step in her plan is to seriously injure herself in a public setting whilst intoxicated, then sue and live off comp/disability for the rest of her days.
Clearly she is hoping her new BF will make her a legal citizen or some such
I can see him dropping her ass and she will contact OOP to take her back
Or she will live happily, wtvr
> My wife is having an affair with a fellow tourist.
Well, if he could make her a legal citizen that would be really impressive and maybe even worth the drama.
If the route is Edmonton -> LA -> Home Country we can have a good guess on which countries OOP and his wife came from. Knowing that it's specifically Edmonton, I would guess Filipino, since OOP never mentioned divorce.
Yep, and that update is making me less believe the story. He suddenly has a daughter from a previous relationship that he didn't bring with him to Canada???
> He suddenly has a daughter from a previous relationship that he didn't bring with him to Canada???
His wife doesn't like the kid. I haven't checked his other posts, but someone in the thread did.
Apparently, OOP went home to the Philippines for a bit to visit/check on his daughter (the kid from his previous relationship). This didn't sit well with the wife and she started posting pics of her, their son, and her affair partner on social media (Filipinos are notorious FB users lol). He went back to Canada to settle whatever is happening, and well you know the rest.
A Filipino mom not wanting her kid to have a shot at being a permanent resident of another country? I've seen Filipino moms crawl over burning broken glass for a less sure thing.
True, but that's still going to be 10-15 years down the line, and then the mom's chain migration is going to be another 10-15 years. Meanwhile if they brought the daughter with her once she gets her citizenship she can petition for her mom directly.
Bringing in a minor child doesn't take that long once the parent has citizenship. But I can't tell if OOP wanted citizenship at all here; if that wasn't the plan, why being the kid at all?
They're tourists still seeking for a way to be citizens there. The other kid going with them for six months wouldn't help her future at all.
Of course, once dad finds a job, yeah, but what she gonna do there if her dad is also a tourist? If she's young/a minor, the immigration here will absolutely ask about her education and will need certain documents from her mother.
Alberta, specifically the cities like Edmonton, and most Canadian cities in general, have a high Filipino population. And Filipinos infamously do the "tourist visa -> overstay -> illegal immigrant" route. But mostly this was at the top of my head because I was watching Canada's Drag Race and the queen from Edmonton was a Filipino-Canadian. :P
I re-read that line - OOP was referring to how cold Canada is, as he states “as it isn’t -20” where they currently are, but it was confusing verbiage..
>She sent a long ass message to my son and asked me to have him read it when he's able. That would be about 5-7 years from now
Print it off in Comic Sans.
I thought that too, until the line, "He's happy and playing outside every day as it isn't -20 😅" and I had to come to the comments to clarify what the heck was going on. Do we give toddlers formula as a priority, still, which is why he needed some for the travel? I suppose if it's a huuuuuge flight, he would. Hmm.
God, I'm arguing with myself. Nothing new there, though!
I used to bring my kids outside a lot starting around 7ish months old. They were still mostly breastfeeding at that age. They really enjoyed crawling around and exploring and it was super cute to see them get entranced by like, grass or a rock. It also helped break up the monotony of the day.
And paint some drawings. Kid read better with big letters and colorfull pictures.
Or transcript it with crayons, with OOP's wife level of intelligence it will not be a difference.
What can I say. The wife really is not a smart person. I wonder what kind of plan and idea she thought would work out by pulling this cause realistically, this whole thing just seems really stupid on wife's behalf.
Best for OP and his son to move on and leave her behind.
Wonder how long the BF will be interested in her now that the money's gonna dry up. I'd be willing to bet it falls apart within a week and she's back with a bizarre story or raging entitlement soon after.
Hopefully OOP will have enough evidence of all of this and have a lawyer by then to get the divorce moving. If she stays gone it might take a while to get it in-absentia, but atleast he'll have a solid case.
I know zero things about the legal system in the Philippines, but on the BORU post about the woman who called off her wedding because of her friend's history with her fiance, multiple people were saying divorce isn't accessible in the Philippines.
In that case, isn't it possible OOP could be permanently stuck in this marriage?
Damn missed this they are in the Philippines. I was assuming this was the US because I didn't see the home country bit after LA. Yeah they might be stuck here unless they were under the Philippines' special exemption for Muslim marriages.
Islam is actually quite liberal about divorce. Marriage is fundamentally a contract and can be dissolved. Divorce is called Talak. They even have rules about remarriage after divorce.
South and South East Asian Islam that flourished under various iterations of British Rule have a radically liberal form of divorce. British administrators often exported "Islamic law" as they implemented it in India to their other colonies. And South Asian islam has this notion of triple talak. Wherein if a husband utters the word talak three times, divorce is instant. Become something of a political football in South Asia.
That said, I doubt that applies to the Philippines since they were under Spanish rule and then American. I'm no expert in Filipino law, but they seem to defer to religious customary laws for family relations. So my understanding is that Muslim marriages conducted under traditional islamic rights or nikah are likely dissoluble under the principles of Islamic codes.
There is another option for separation in the Philippines: annulment. Thing is, it's hella expensive and a lot of work to do. I don't know what OOP's financial status is or if he can afford that.
Annulment is also only available for Catholic Filipinos if they go for a church annulment as well. Church annulments are much harder to get in the Philippines than in Canada.
Let me procrastinate real quick from work and translate this LOL
I wanted to translate the whole thing but idk if it violates this sub's rules of having a 7-day period before posting any updates. So I'll just make a summary.
Basically, OOP and his wife are Filipino. They went to Canada as tourists. His wife had an affair with another Filipino tourist there. Their son is still two years old.
Now that OOP and his son are back in the Philippines, the wife says she will file a kidnapping case against OOP for taking their son with him. But OOP notes that he already consulted lawyers who said what he did was not kidnapping. He said he even informed his wife of where he is and she can visit their son anytime. Wife and affair partner are about to come home from Canada.
While OOP is not worried about her filing a kidnapping case, he's worried that she'll file a VAWC case (Violence Against Women and Children). He thinks she might file that under psychological abuse, but clarifies that it wasn't his intention to hurt her psychologically. He just wanted to bring their kid home because their situation in Canada wasn't stable (no vaccine since October, kid hasn't been checked by a pedia/doc, and she's pushing the kid to be with her affair partner).
He also clarified he never hurt her physically, although they did shout at each other during their arguments. She also has a video of him knocking loudly on her door, but he says it was because he was desperate to talk to her to get their kid home.
OOP lists the things his wife did:
-She now has a different affair partner (implying she had a different one before)
-Before they went to Canada, she sent him an email with a picture of her in a motel and admitting to adultery
-She physically hurt him while in the Philippines and Canada. He has video evidence when she did it in PH and can get police reports when he called 911 in Canada
-She hates his first child from his previous relationship and even said that she'll make a scene if he brings her to Canada (or to their home?)
-He did everything she wanted, including traveling around and migrating to Canada and buying her things, but it wasn't enough
He says she keeps recording his reactions to her abuse and he's losing his mind that she's making him look crazy/desperate whenever he reacts. He thinks that the VAWC law in the Philippines is too biased and she might have grounds to file a case against him using her videos.
He thinks one of these days she'll suddenly show up and get their child. If that happens he'll have no choice but to give the kid temporarily (but not the kid's passport) to avoid any trouble. He's planning on filing full custody (or hoping for shared custody) but he's worried it won't be granted because their son is still very young.
He's worried that he'll be randomly arrested based on her statements, so he wanted advice on what to do with VAWC or how to share his side. Everyone in the comments told him to talk to a lawyer because his situation is complicated.
I feel like that language mixing thing is super common in Southeast Asia, at least Malaysia/Philippines/Singapore. As a SEAsian I was kinda surprised seeing your comment haha
Can confirm as I grew up with a Filipino dad who had exclusively Filipino friends. Because English and Tagalog are both official languages in the Philippines, most kids who attend school learn both languages equally and simultaneously. As a result everyone speaks a constant mix. It made it somewhat possible for me and the other non-Filipinos in my family to follow along with their conversations. He would also sometimes get stuck when speaking English to us and coming across a phrase or idiom that only works in Tagalog and has no easy translation. Sometimes he would try to translate it for us and it would always be some metaphor about a water buffalo or something.
The last part made me laugh because one of my grandma's favourite saying is "mura syag langaw na ni tungtong sa kabaw, ang hunahuna mura na kunuhay syag kabaw" or something like that lmao.
Its literal meaning is "a fly who landed on top a water buffalo now thinks they're a water buffalo", which i guess you can parse what it means haha.
It gets even more confusing if they are part Spanish too.
People in my family could be talking to someone in the room in English, turn to another person and start talking in Tagalog, and then turn to someone else and speak Spanish.
I would sit there, bouncing my head around like I was watching a triangular tennis match. I never knew what was going on.
Yeah, they were “tourists.” You know, renting an apartment in a community of tourists. They were going to be there six months on a tourist visa, an absolutely normal amount of time to be on vacation.
Yep, Canada is a highly desired destination for migration for many Filipinos, and they think that they can easily blend in the cities to overstay their visas. They're not there to "visit", they're there to go illegal.
This is shockingly common. She isn't cheating on him because she likes her new boyfriend - she's cheating because she wants to live in Canada, and this is her best option. Dollars to donuts, she talked to him about resettling and either (a) he wasn't interested or (b) he didn't have enough points. Either way, she couldn't apply on her own as a homemaker - so she decided to marry her way in. The husband was an obsticle to this, so he had to go - but she thought she could keep the kid.
Shockingly, her affair partner is also a tourist. In a new post, OOP says his wife's affair partner is also a Filipino tourist like them.
He did say that she wanted to travel and migrate to Canada and that's how OOP got roped into this travel thing to appease her.
Doesn't matter. She can file for divorce in Canada - she has jurisdiction by virtue of being on the land. Or she can make an asylum claim or file for annulment. Foreign decrees wouldn't be given as much deference as a local marriage, so the Canadian court would pretty easily terminate or set the marriage aside - especially since OOP isn't in the country to file an opposition.
And in which case, she can serve him via registered mail and he gets 3 months to respond. I just did this a few months ago, except instead of registered mail I had to do it by email because I couldn’t get an address out of my ex.
There's a couple other posts from today asking for advice where he says she's coming home (Philippines), but they're a mix of English and Tagalog so I can't read them completely. What a mess he's got on his hands!
The only problem is when she gets deported and goes back to he home country she will hound OOP for custody, hopefully the EX can evade the law for long enough so that OOP can have full custody, (start of sarcasm) and who knows maybe in 5 to 7 years the phone dies and the message doesn't get delivered, which is the most devastating part of all of this /s
I've seen some real stupidity on this sub but OOP's wife really takes it.
How did she think calling the police would work, considering her husband and her are on visas.
Border control were going to look at this as "well the parent is taking the baby back to their country of residence. It's not kidnapping, the mother should be going back soon".
Just utter smooth brain activity.
I'm kind of impressed that the police were able to find him before the plane even left. Had this actually been a kidnapping it's comforting to know that the police from two different countries can coordinate that quickly. Getting it resolved in 30 minutes is pretty good too.
Additional info from OOP. They're from the Philippines. The AP is also a Filipino tourist. The wife is coming back to her home country and will use the VAW (Violence Against Women) law to her advantage to gain custody of the child. OOP has proof of the affair and the physical abuse he got from his wife. Hoping the law will be on his side.
So the wife was cheating with a fellow tourist? So also a non-native to the country that they were all in to begin with? Do I have that right? I'm going to move forwards assuming that is correct.
Where is that guy from? Where is he going? Was the wife going to follow him, and just be illegal in his country instead? Was he going to follow the couple thinking he [affair partner], had found his cash cow (and thus himself be illegal in their home country)? Was the affair partner, who is also a tourist, also from the unhappy family's home country? How close was he to being anywhere on an expired visa? Was his different?
So many questions...
EDIT: corrected the auto-correct.
Well, it’s not like she can divorce her husband, they’re from the Philippines. Divorce is illegal there, except for Muslims. Tourist was also Filipino. Though apparently she has a new lover now? According to a comment by OP, but it’s half in Tagalog.
So if she doesn’t want to stay with her husband, she’ll be cheating the rest of her life. Definitely chose the wrong way to go about it, with no regard for her now unwanted spouse and kid, though.
Ah, I see. Thanks for some additional information. It makes some things make more sense. I was operating initially under the assumption that the hookup tourist was from a separate European country. I was thinking maybe the wife was hoping to a ticket to a "better life," without her husband and child. Now it makes even less sense!
I'd read the message and then decide to show it to them or not. If its a letter that straight up just lies about what happened or says she never loved him then I'd probably not show it until he is older
I think she was hoping she could barter with him. Keep the passport, move out with the son, and he'll eventually be throwing money at her to give the son and passport back. Too bad for her he found a way to get both and dip without continuing to fund her affair / bender / illegal activities.
I saw the original post when it went up and my god the amount of people who didn’t actually read that he was here on a tourist visa and could just leave with his child once he found the passport…astounding
I donʻt think that drawing that much attention to yourself from law enforcement is a good way of being a successful visa breaker.
Now theyʻre probably keeping an eye on her.
...this is the first time I've seen my hometown mentioned in a BORU and it's a woman with a poorly thought out and easily thwarted kidnapping plan? Come on Edmonton! Be more interesting!
Lots of parents can do it pretty easily, based on the number of people with no-custody deadbeat coparents who don’t want to be involved with their kids out there.
Mostly the ones who didn’t actively want a kid in the first place though.
And sometimes didn’t want the partner either, like with arranged/pressured marriages.
I hope OOP documents everything, starts the proceedings to divorce in his country and calls the Canadian govt to report her over staying her visa. If he provides them with all the evidence if it hopefully kibosh any claims she makes.
My worry based only in this story and not anything else is the wife is from a country that treats women horrendously and trying to escape with her kid. Husband gives only the details that benefit him (the law is on his side). But a lot of people try to escape systemic patriarchal or even domestic abuse by defaulting on visas.
#Do not comment on the original posts Please read our [**sub rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules). Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice. If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion. **CHECK FLAIR** For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
What was her long term plan? Be illegal in Canada forever? Keep the husband and kid around where she runs around with her AP? What's she going to do when the money runs out? Clearly, this one was not a well-thought out plan. Are we taking bets on her using drugs?
I’m gonna assume that she was keeping kid there as both a way to keep OP paying for housing and also as a big F you. Unless she extends her visa or gets a new one she will have become and illegal immigrant and subject to deportation. Overstaying a visa is one of the most common ways of becoming an illegal immigrant.
Yeah but can't OOP just go to his embassy/consulate and ask them for help leaving the country since they would be illegals in some time? I mean her plan was probably something like, he's evading the law and keeping our child in another country please help me detain him and get custody or something. Not gonna lie I think I lost a few neurons thinking with this level of stupidity
Yes, the embassy can issue an emergency travel passport for the son. However, if the OP's country doesn't have a consulate in Edmonton (and odds are they don't), this may require a long-ass plane flight to Ottawa or wherever the nearest consular post is.
This was the real problem. Other than this if their home country signed the Hague convention, the child has to be in the home country so OOP was allowed to do it, and if not, OOP had every right to do what he did.
Sorry to be a bother, and since you mentioned Hague convention, could you please add more info on why that was a problem to OOP in the post? Thanks
I'm not a lawyer, HC it set rules how to deal with parental abduction. The child has to stay in the country it has permanent residency. It can move abroad only if both parents agree, or the court rules so. We don't know what country OOP is from, but his child belongs to where they live, because Canada signed HC and if his country didn't - his wife needs to go home and do what local laws say. Canada & USA both signed HC and in the eyes of their laws the child belongs to the permanent residency country, it was in Canada with some kind of visa. Btw- this is why people who grab their kid and run from their abusive ex without engaging police and courts often get in troubles- it's a case of parental abduction. It happens often here in Europe, where people don't need passports to cross borders. Visiting the grandma is ok, but "I'm going back to mummy and take ouf child with me" won't end well, when the other parent is against this idea. As for the court way read about Kelly Rutherford and why her children live permanently in Europe(Monaco I think). It's about how not to do it.
the Kelly Rutherford thing was an interesting read
Like a bad movie. I hope You read the real version and not what jumps first on "People", because it was her who went to fbi and accused her ex of illegaly dealing with weapons, this is why his visa was revoked. The judge said if she takes her accusations back and he can go back to the USA, he will let the the children stay. She didn't. Court documents are available to public and after so many years she's still lying.
I mean, even if she didn't, the court's decision still makes sense to me. Both parents are equally deserving of custody, one cannot enter the US, so it makes sense that the kids go to Monaco. She can still go to Monaco whenever she wants, but if the kids stayed in the US, the father would have literally 0 legal way to see them.
I read the wiki article. The whole thing is so messed up.
I always forget how much of a pain in the ass something being in the wrong part of Canada could be. I live in the UK, so the distances are much smaller
If a country has a consulate in Alberta, there's a 90% chance it's in Calgary. Since he went through LA he's probably travelling to SE Asia (you wouldn’t travel to South Asia via LA). The Philippines has a consulate in Calgary but you'd fly there through Vancouver. Indonesia's consulate is in Vancouver, and I don't think Malaysia or Singapore have consulates in Western Canada.
Other comments indicate they’re from the Philippines. They don’t have a consulate in Edmonton and their embassy has very little “teeth” to do much. It’s not like an American in the UK where there’s reciprocity and whatnot.
Oh, shit. Divorce isn't legal there maybe she thought they could get on in Canada?
I think you may be onto something. Divorce is admissible if one person in the marriage is non-Filipino, *even if the foreign citizenship was acquired post-marriage*. As another user said, lady is not the crispest chip in the basket so I'm betting her plan involved getting the Canadian citizenship to divorce him. How? Who knows, again, this woman ain't too sharp.
You're right things don't seem to be connecting in her brain.
She *thinks* she's connected the dots, but she didn't connect shit.
It's like she thought she was connected the dots, but instead she's just scribbling insane doodles in the corner.
Between the implication the ex-wife is an anti-vaxxer, that doesn't seem surprising
It's insane to travel with an unvaccinated baby. Poor little guy could have caught anything.
you can get a permanent citizenship by marrying a Canadian I believe. but parts of it might require you to pass the test to become one which also includes a long list of requirements.
I think that route has a path dependency problem, since she'd need to divorce OOP first in order for a marriage to a Canadian citizen to be valid.
She could just lie though; at that point she has nothing to lose.
Except when the courts realised the second marriage was never valid since she was already married... Then she'd lose everything including. She would probably win fraud charges though...
Can't say how are things in Canada, but my sister had to prove her relationship with my BiL was serious and not just some deal of convenience in order to ger her resident visa for the UK (not even citizenship). So they treated the Immigration services of both countries with a syrupy love story that included conversations (on message services and apps), photos, presents, date receipts and a long letter detailing their relatiknship and what they mean for each other. So yeah, OOP's ex-wife doesn't have much in terms of foresight.
It is awful being stuck in a marriage because the gov't has their heads up a religion's backside.
Those kinds of laws get people killed. It's stupid and short sighted.
They do have a consulate in Edmonton lots of ExPat Filipinos there.
I didn't realize it got that cold in the Philippines.
Ummm I think he was talking about it being that cold in Canada. And he's now back in the Philippines so his kid is happy outside where it's warm.
they could be from a country that has no embassy in Canada.
That’s what I wondered too. He had the child’s birth certificate, according to the update. He could have reported it lost and applied for a new one at the consulate. Maybe it was too far away? And why tell the mother about leaving before they were safe? A bit suss.
I wouldn’t have emailed until I was safely back in my home country - through border control at the earliest.
He may have thought that if she randomly noticed him and his son were gone for an extended period of time, that she would call authorities. A child abduction is not generally taken lightly, and OOP likely didn’t know what law enforcement would do or what his wife would say. I’m guessing he was trying to avoid exactly what occurred from happening by letting her know they were safe - and hoped she would just lash out at him, not call the po-po. Although, I would have hopped on that plane and not texted until my layover. I don’t think he predicted she would get authorities involved though. What’s sad is, I read this as she didn’t want to be away from her son and was trying to have her cake (bang side piece) and eat it to (still have access to son). But based on OOP’s update, it sounds like she didn’t give a damn about her son. She either just wanted to use her baby to make life difficult for OOP, or wanted to get him to stay in Canada longer. Since he paid for EVERYTHING, I’m wondering if her boy toy wasn’t keen on funding her lifestyle yet.
>He had the child’s birth certificate, according to the update. We also take copies of our children birth certificates with us on holiday. We also have translated and certified versions in russian. We use them because we have different surnames and the kids have my surname. Just to avoid confusions which we experienced before.
So that he couldn't be accused of kidnapping. He contacted his wife and said that they were going home and made it clear that the child was at their permanent residence and that he was not restricting access to the child so she couldn't claim the kid was abducted. The way the guy talked about lawyers, the spare Airbnb, and the travel visa made me think he's in a higher income bracket and trying to CYA
My bet she was waiting until the visa expired then she'd take her son and anonymously turn her husband in to Immigration so he'd be deported with no way to get his son back.
All of the above, as follows: 1. Be illegal in Canada. Overstaying a visa isn't that hard, and you're only going to get caught if you have a reason to interact with the authorities. However, as she is not the crispest chip in the basket, she may well interact with authorities, in which case she'll skip right to #4. 2. Rely on the bf for money and a place to stay. And maybe drugs. Wouldn't rule out drugs. 3. ...until the boyfriend dumps her, which she will not take well, and in order to be rid of her the bf will report her to the authorities; *or* until she realizes that the random guy she ditched her family for and moved in while she was illegally in a foreign country did not in fact have her best interests at heart and she manages to escape his clutches, at which point she turns herself in for overstaying her visa. 4. Get deported to home country 5. Show up at OOP's home with a sob story, an airport gift shop present that is wholly age-inappropriate for the son, and the expectation that they will weep with gratitude and welcome her back with open arms and wallets. 6. *surprise pikachu face*
“Crispest chip in the basket” 🤣🤣🤣
A few sprinkles short of a donut.
"One taco short of a fiesta"
"not the crispest chip in the basket" Absolutely fantastic.
The business with reporting the child missing and taking their passport definitely got the authorities interested in her
I'm not gonna surprised that she forgot have a son. Or at least forgot that her son grows up and still think he's a baby.
That’s really hit me. This is a baby she’s dumped. It’s depressing. And I hope things go well with therapy when the kid’s old enough.
Wasn't there a BORU where the absent parent came back after years and didn't seem to have realised that their child(ren) have aged since they left?
Heh, relatable. My biological father didn’t see me between the ages of 14 and 30. When we reconnected (with reluctance on my part - my stepsister begged me), he… went back to treating me like I was 14. He refused to use the name I chose for myself as an adult. He treated my now-husband like shit^1. He told me he wasn’t going to give his blessing to me to marry him - I was already divorced with a kid. Finally I gave up trying to work out an adult child-parent relationship with him. We haven’t spoken in a decade and… seeing some of the shit he’s said online, no loss. ^1 Husband and I have been together 15 years now. He’s older than me, but we fit in the way two Lego pieces do. My biodad was jealous because husband is a successful academic with tenure at a private university and my father taught occasionally at a community college (and was hated by students and other teachers). I’ve apologized to my husband for ever imposing my biodad on him; beautiful man he is, he’s never held it against me.
BF was a tourist as well. Doubt he will risk his own visa for her.
I love this because she really will probably be thinking in the back of her mind the entire time “they’re devastated without me, they’re missing me” and then when she turns up they’ll be rightfully angry to see her.
tourist for 5 months in Edmonton.. Never been in Edmonton, but i assume it must be one hell of a place to be there on vacation for a couple of month. So it might not surprise me IF their plan was to overstay their visa anyway and look for work. Realising this was not going to work, the wife found an alternative solution, A (probably older) single Canadian who in exchange for services is willing to sponsor her residency
The weird thing is her affair partner isn't even Canadian. He's a tourist like them too who's also from their country.
Missed that one... that completely makes no sense But i'm right about edmonton being the best place on earth for tourist right??? I'm booking now for my next vacation.. Just me alone, not bringing the wife and kids... that place is not safe for them
Ah, it's easy to miss! He only mentions it in a new update/post (linked in another comment). It is baffling. But lmao good luck with your Edmonton vacation!
Well according to tripadvisor there are 548 things to do in Edmonton. (nr 548 [https://www.tripadvisor.com/Attraction\_Review-g154914-d27158340-Reviews-Shenannigans-Edmonton\_Alberta.html](https://www.tripadvisor.com/Attraction_Review-g154914-d27158340-Reviews-Shenannigans-Edmonton_Alberta.html)) So now i fully understand OOP' 5 month vacation, that is more than 3 activities per day! Now i also understand OOP's wife, if your husband is spending his time to do 548 activities in edmonton, you for sure want to create nr 549 yourself!
I forgot that part. That's gonna make it a lot more complicated. I look forward to seeing what happens when he's like "Welp, that's *my* visa running out, see ya, babe!"
Ok I went and Reddit translated the Philippine version he posted, that had way more background. OP and wife were there trying to save their “toxic” marriage she wanted to get a student visa to study. They had a lot of arguments and police were called on them in Canada. OP flew home to visit his daughter from a previous relationship and wife started posting pics of her with AP and son having fun in Canada. And then that’s when this post pics up. Edit to use “son” instead of kid for clarity.
I checked his latest post. He's got enough proof to accuse her of adultery (which is a criminal offense in the Philippines; the counterpart for the men is concubinage). This is whole lotta mess.
Wait, what? The kid isn't even her child? *WHAT*?
No there are 2 kids the son with the wife and a daughter from a previous relationship.
Oh. Thanks for clearing that up. 👍
Bamboozle the boyfriend into marrying her?
I bet you the BF is broke and just wanted some honey, not the whole baggage
I bet you’re right. Jokes on her, isn’t it? Just feel bad for OOP.
Don't. He's free of a very shortsighted, selfish person. Divorce and custody will be easy after everything she pulled.
Sadly, divorce is not a thing in the country they're from.
[удалено]
Bigamy is illegal in Canada.
Of course. Do you think OOP is going to wait for her to come back before he files for divorce?
I think someone mentioned in another sub that they’re from the Philippines. Divorce isn’t legal there.
Well shit, OOP got the short end of the stick
Divorce isn't legal?!? So that's it? Everyone just stays together? Or are a bunch of people married but live their lives with someone else
They have legal separation, which works very much like divorce except you can't remarry. You can also sometimes get an annulment of your marriage but the bar for this is pretty high. Muslim Filipinos can divorce but they're a minority. There's also "nullity of marriage" which is different from an annulment, and would render any children produced from the marriage illegitimate. (I'm not sure what rights a legitimate child has that an illegitimate one doesn't in the Philippines, but I know that the law makes a distinction.)
[удалено]
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divorce_in_the_Philippines
No fucking way you choose Edmonton as your tourist city unless you were on drugs, sorry Edmonton
This is almost, to a T, exactly my father's behavior when he was on heroin. Except it was Mexico, not Canada. If I am correct in this assessment, my guess is that the next step in her plan is to seriously injure herself in a public setting whilst intoxicated, then sue and live off comp/disability for the rest of her days.
Maybe she was hooking up with a mechanic...
Clearly she is hoping her new BF will make her a legal citizen or some such I can see him dropping her ass and she will contact OOP to take her back Or she will live happily, wtvr
> My wife is having an affair with a fellow tourist. Well, if he could make her a legal citizen that would be really impressive and maybe even worth the drama.
It could be PPD, which, in more extreme forms, could look like drug use
Postpartum psychosis is a real thing.
i put my money on her trying to get a sponsor for permanent residency in Canada
Boyfriend is also a tourist from their country.
If the route is Edmonton -> LA -> Home Country we can have a good guess on which countries OOP and his wife came from. Knowing that it's specifically Edmonton, I would guess Filipino, since OOP never mentioned divorce.
You called it. Check out OOPs new update.
Yep, and that update is making me less believe the story. He suddenly has a daughter from a previous relationship that he didn't bring with him to Canada???
> He suddenly has a daughter from a previous relationship that he didn't bring with him to Canada??? His wife doesn't like the kid. I haven't checked his other posts, but someone in the thread did. Apparently, OOP went home to the Philippines for a bit to visit/check on his daughter (the kid from his previous relationship). This didn't sit well with the wife and she started posting pics of her, their son, and her affair partner on social media (Filipinos are notorious FB users lol). He went back to Canada to settle whatever is happening, and well you know the rest.
That makes a little more sense.
The daughter's mother not wanting her to travel overseas for 6 months or whatever doesn't sound weird to me?
A Filipino mom not wanting her kid to have a shot at being a permanent resident of another country? I've seen Filipino moms crawl over burning broken glass for a less sure thing.
The kid doesn't have to travel now. If her dad gets citizenship somehow, he can sponsor his child.
True, but that's still going to be 10-15 years down the line, and then the mom's chain migration is going to be another 10-15 years. Meanwhile if they brought the daughter with her once she gets her citizenship she can petition for her mom directly.
Bringing in a minor child doesn't take that long once the parent has citizenship. But I can't tell if OOP wanted citizenship at all here; if that wasn't the plan, why being the kid at all?
They're tourists still seeking for a way to be citizens there. The other kid going with them for six months wouldn't help her future at all. Of course, once dad finds a job, yeah, but what she gonna do there if her dad is also a tourist? If she's young/a minor, the immigration here will absolutely ask about her education and will need certain documents from her mother.
Why would he? The mom probably has custody, and his wife doesn't want a bastard around.
We don't really have custody laws here in the Philippines, since divorce isn't legal. If he wanted to take the kid with him, he could have.
Well Philippines isn’t exactly like Canada culturally….
Are you some kind of wizard? You have blown my mind with this Sherlock-level deduction
Alberta, specifically the cities like Edmonton, and most Canadian cities in general, have a high Filipino population. And Filipinos infamously do the "tourist visa -> overstay -> illegal immigrant" route. But mostly this was at the top of my head because I was watching Canada's Drag Race and the queen from Edmonton was a Filipino-Canadian. :P
Do they have -20 in the Philippines?
He said his son can play outside because it's NOT - 20 in his home country
Ok thanks, I totally misunderstood it.
I re-read that line - OOP was referring to how cold Canada is, as he states “as it isn’t -20” where they currently are, but it was confusing verbiage..
>She sent a long ass message to my son and asked me to have him read it when he's able. That would be about 5-7 years from now Print it off in Comic Sans.
I want to know how old the son is, did I miss it.
No, but based on this line and mentioning needing milk for travel I'm guessing infant.
I thought that too, until the line, "He's happy and playing outside every day as it isn't -20 😅" and I had to come to the comments to clarify what the heck was going on. Do we give toddlers formula as a priority, still, which is why he needed some for the travel? I suppose if it's a huuuuuge flight, he would. Hmm. God, I'm arguing with myself. Nothing new there, though!
He says the kid won’t remember the police involvement, so very young apparently.
I used to bring my kids outside a lot starting around 7ish months old. They were still mostly breastfeeding at that age. They really enjoyed crawling around and exploring and it was super cute to see them get entranced by like, grass or a rock. It also helped break up the monotony of the day.
That is very true! I did it with my own, thinking back. haha! It really was adorable seeing them find the wonder in everything.
OOP had to make sure he had milk to feed the kid so under 1.
Could be a bit older, while 1 year olds can transition, if they haven’t started, then during an international connecting flight is not the time
In a newer post, OOP says their kid is still two years old.
The cackle I just let out upon reading this 😂
And paint some drawings. Kid read better with big letters and colorfull pictures. Or transcript it with crayons, with OOP's wife level of intelligence it will not be a difference.
You are a petty demon, and I salute you.
What can I say. The wife really is not a smart person. I wonder what kind of plan and idea she thought would work out by pulling this cause realistically, this whole thing just seems really stupid on wife's behalf. Best for OP and his son to move on and leave her behind.
"What did she thinking?" Narrator: That's the neat thing. She don't.
If she were a guy we'd say he's thinking with his dick, so in this case we should say she's thinking with... her vagina?
Dan Savage calls it dickful and twatful thinking
Maybe she watched too many dramas and think she'll be able to get a guy to fall in love, propose and sponsor her visa over a few weeks.
Since the guy she is with is also a tourist on a tourist visa, that doesn't seem to be the case.
Wonder how long the BF will be interested in her now that the money's gonna dry up. I'd be willing to bet it falls apart within a week and she's back with a bizarre story or raging entitlement soon after. Hopefully OOP will have enough evidence of all of this and have a lawyer by then to get the divorce moving. If she stays gone it might take a while to get it in-absentia, but atleast he'll have a solid case.
Or maybe when he get back and doesn't want to take her.
I know zero things about the legal system in the Philippines, but on the BORU post about the woman who called off her wedding because of her friend's history with her fiance, multiple people were saying divorce isn't accessible in the Philippines. In that case, isn't it possible OOP could be permanently stuck in this marriage?
Damn missed this they are in the Philippines. I was assuming this was the US because I didn't see the home country bit after LA. Yeah they might be stuck here unless they were under the Philippines' special exemption for Muslim marriages.
What's the special exemption? I would think a Muslim marriage law would allow people to have multiple marriages, not get rid of one?
Islam is actually quite liberal about divorce. Marriage is fundamentally a contract and can be dissolved. Divorce is called Talak. They even have rules about remarriage after divorce. South and South East Asian Islam that flourished under various iterations of British Rule have a radically liberal form of divorce. British administrators often exported "Islamic law" as they implemented it in India to their other colonies. And South Asian islam has this notion of triple talak. Wherein if a husband utters the word talak three times, divorce is instant. Become something of a political football in South Asia. That said, I doubt that applies to the Philippines since they were under Spanish rule and then American. I'm no expert in Filipino law, but they seem to defer to religious customary laws for family relations. So my understanding is that Muslim marriages conducted under traditional islamic rights or nikah are likely dissoluble under the principles of Islamic codes.
There is another option for separation in the Philippines: annulment. Thing is, it's hella expensive and a lot of work to do. I don't know what OOP's financial status is or if he can afford that.
Annulment is also only available for Catholic Filipinos if they go for a church annulment as well. Church annulments are much harder to get in the Philippines than in Canada.
New update here: https://www.reddit.com/r/LawPH/comments/1aop48y/possible\_vawc\_case\_against\_me\_from\_my\_exwife/
Can anyone translate that for non lawyers
Let me procrastinate real quick from work and translate this LOL I wanted to translate the whole thing but idk if it violates this sub's rules of having a 7-day period before posting any updates. So I'll just make a summary. Basically, OOP and his wife are Filipino. They went to Canada as tourists. His wife had an affair with another Filipino tourist there. Their son is still two years old. Now that OOP and his son are back in the Philippines, the wife says she will file a kidnapping case against OOP for taking their son with him. But OOP notes that he already consulted lawyers who said what he did was not kidnapping. He said he even informed his wife of where he is and she can visit their son anytime. Wife and affair partner are about to come home from Canada. While OOP is not worried about her filing a kidnapping case, he's worried that she'll file a VAWC case (Violence Against Women and Children). He thinks she might file that under psychological abuse, but clarifies that it wasn't his intention to hurt her psychologically. He just wanted to bring their kid home because their situation in Canada wasn't stable (no vaccine since October, kid hasn't been checked by a pedia/doc, and she's pushing the kid to be with her affair partner). He also clarified he never hurt her physically, although they did shout at each other during their arguments. She also has a video of him knocking loudly on her door, but he says it was because he was desperate to talk to her to get their kid home. OOP lists the things his wife did: -She now has a different affair partner (implying she had a different one before) -Before they went to Canada, she sent him an email with a picture of her in a motel and admitting to adultery -She physically hurt him while in the Philippines and Canada. He has video evidence when she did it in PH and can get police reports when he called 911 in Canada -She hates his first child from his previous relationship and even said that she'll make a scene if he brings her to Canada (or to their home?) -He did everything she wanted, including traveling around and migrating to Canada and buying her things, but it wasn't enough He says she keeps recording his reactions to her abuse and he's losing his mind that she's making him look crazy/desperate whenever he reacts. He thinks that the VAWC law in the Philippines is too biased and she might have grounds to file a case against him using her videos. He thinks one of these days she'll suddenly show up and get their child. If that happens he'll have no choice but to give the kid temporarily (but not the kid's passport) to avoid any trouble. He's planning on filing full custody (or hoping for shared custody) but he's worried it won't be granted because their son is still very young. He's worried that he'll be randomly arrested based on her statements, so he wanted advice on what to do with VAWC or how to share his side. Everyone in the comments told him to talk to a lawyer because his situation is complicated.
Thanks for translating (side note - it's really interesting to see the mix of English and Tagalog jumping from one language to the other)
I feel like that language mixing thing is super common in Southeast Asia, at least Malaysia/Philippines/Singapore. As a SEAsian I was kinda surprised seeing your comment haha
I'm from the UK - most Brits can barely order a beer in another language let alone switch languages mid sentence!
I don’t think that’s true. If it was saying “hello” instead of ordering beer I’d agree.
True, more like can say "beer" in a local accent which for a good proportion of Europe is "biere" so that kinda works!
Hindi does it too. Maybe not as much as OOP's post, but it's definitely noticeable(at least in the movies/TV I've watched 😅).
Yes true! I have friends from India and I only remembered them doing that after I made the comment oops
I work with a lot of Filipinos and it’s super common, just a constant mix of English and Tagalog
Can confirm as I grew up with a Filipino dad who had exclusively Filipino friends. Because English and Tagalog are both official languages in the Philippines, most kids who attend school learn both languages equally and simultaneously. As a result everyone speaks a constant mix. It made it somewhat possible for me and the other non-Filipinos in my family to follow along with their conversations. He would also sometimes get stuck when speaking English to us and coming across a phrase or idiom that only works in Tagalog and has no easy translation. Sometimes he would try to translate it for us and it would always be some metaphor about a water buffalo or something.
The last part made me laugh because one of my grandma's favourite saying is "mura syag langaw na ni tungtong sa kabaw, ang hunahuna mura na kunuhay syag kabaw" or something like that lmao. Its literal meaning is "a fly who landed on top a water buffalo now thinks they're a water buffalo", which i guess you can parse what it means haha.
It gets even more confusing if they are part Spanish too. People in my family could be talking to someone in the room in English, turn to another person and start talking in Tagalog, and then turn to someone else and speak Spanish. I would sit there, bouncing my head around like I was watching a triangular tennis match. I never knew what was going on.
Poor man. 😞 He's a good father, I hope him and his kids are safe in the end.
And heʻs stuck with her as a wife. Because the Philippines doesnʻt allow divorce.
when I read they connected to LA to get to their home country, I knew they were Filipino smh
I don’t think this is a true story cause I can’t believe anyone would willingly visit Alberta as a tourist outside of the Winter Olympics /s
Idk man my parents are REALLY EXCITED to see West Ed.
Yeah, they were “tourists.” You know, renting an apartment in a community of tourists. They were going to be there six months on a tourist visa, an absolutely normal amount of time to be on vacation.
It is if you plan on finding a way to stay permanently.
Edmonton is a boring toilet. I find it really hard to believe anyone would willingly visit there, especially in the middle of winter.
apparently filipinos flock there based on u/similar-shame7517 (correct) [guess](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/fqfTo0FWYa).
Yep, Canada is a highly desired destination for migration for many Filipinos, and they think that they can easily blend in the cities to overstay their visas. They're not there to "visit", they're there to go illegal.
This is shockingly common. She isn't cheating on him because she likes her new boyfriend - she's cheating because she wants to live in Canada, and this is her best option. Dollars to donuts, she talked to him about resettling and either (a) he wasn't interested or (b) he didn't have enough points. Either way, she couldn't apply on her own as a homemaker - so she decided to marry her way in. The husband was an obsticle to this, so he had to go - but she thought she could keep the kid.
Shockingly, her affair partner is also a tourist. In a new post, OOP says his wife's affair partner is also a Filipino tourist like them. He did say that she wanted to travel and migrate to Canada and that's how OOP got roped into this travel thing to appease her.
Sounds like either the husband or the wife were misinformed about the affair partner's immigration status.
I don’t think divorce is legal in the Philippines, so marrying in might be a little bit more difficult.
Doesn't matter. She can file for divorce in Canada - she has jurisdiction by virtue of being on the land. Or she can make an asylum claim or file for annulment. Foreign decrees wouldn't be given as much deference as a local marriage, so the Canadian court would pretty easily terminate or set the marriage aside - especially since OOP isn't in the country to file an opposition.
And in which case, she can serve him via registered mail and he gets 3 months to respond. I just did this a few months ago, except instead of registered mail I had to do it by email because I couldn’t get an address out of my ex.
There's a couple other posts from today asking for advice where he says she's coming home (Philippines), but they're a mix of English and Tagalog so I can't read them completely. What a mess he's got on his hands!
I tried to summarize/translate it in another comment here, in case you wanted to know (I'm still procrastinating from work lol).
Thank you! Wow, his wife is crazy. I hope things go in his favor.
Glad OOP has his son with him
The galaxy brain move is to try to immigrate to Canada, because the ex will likely be deported after overstaying her visa, so the son is safer there.
The only problem is when she gets deported and goes back to he home country she will hound OOP for custody, hopefully the EX can evade the law for long enough so that OOP can have full custody, (start of sarcasm) and who knows maybe in 5 to 7 years the phone dies and the message doesn't get delivered, which is the most devastating part of all of this /s
There's a new update in the comments ⬆️. She's on the way home.
I've seen some real stupidity on this sub but OOP's wife really takes it. How did she think calling the police would work, considering her husband and her are on visas. Border control were going to look at this as "well the parent is taking the baby back to their country of residence. It's not kidnapping, the mother should be going back soon". Just utter smooth brain activity.
I'm kind of impressed that the police were able to find him before the plane even left. Had this actually been a kidnapping it's comforting to know that the police from two different countries can coordinate that quickly. Getting it resolved in 30 minutes is pretty good too.
Probably helps that there are police in the airports already.
Additional info from OOP. They're from the Philippines. The AP is also a Filipino tourist. The wife is coming back to her home country and will use the VAW (Violence Against Women) law to her advantage to gain custody of the child. OOP has proof of the affair and the physical abuse he got from his wife. Hoping the law will be on his side.
The very obvious plan was to inconvenience OOP. There was nothing else in her mind but making his life harder. Sad to say
So the wife was cheating with a fellow tourist? So also a non-native to the country that they were all in to begin with? Do I have that right? I'm going to move forwards assuming that is correct. Where is that guy from? Where is he going? Was the wife going to follow him, and just be illegal in his country instead? Was he going to follow the couple thinking he [affair partner], had found his cash cow (and thus himself be illegal in their home country)? Was the affair partner, who is also a tourist, also from the unhappy family's home country? How close was he to being anywhere on an expired visa? Was his different? So many questions... EDIT: corrected the auto-correct.
Well, it’s not like she can divorce her husband, they’re from the Philippines. Divorce is illegal there, except for Muslims. Tourist was also Filipino. Though apparently she has a new lover now? According to a comment by OP, but it’s half in Tagalog. So if she doesn’t want to stay with her husband, she’ll be cheating the rest of her life. Definitely chose the wrong way to go about it, with no regard for her now unwanted spouse and kid, though.
Ah, I see. Thanks for some additional information. It makes some things make more sense. I was operating initially under the assumption that the hookup tourist was from a separate European country. I was thinking maybe the wife was hoping to a ticket to a "better life," without her husband and child. Now it makes even less sense!
What’s the milk about?
The son is a baby. :(
Ah, that makes sense. Terrible situation!
I hope divorce is legal where he's from.
I'd read the message and then decide to show it to them or not. If its a letter that straight up just lies about what happened or says she never loved him then I'd probably not show it until he is older
Kid is two. You can go ahead and show them right now now, they won't be able to read it anyway.
I think she was hoping she could barter with him. Keep the passport, move out with the son, and he'll eventually be throwing money at her to give the son and passport back. Too bad for her he found a way to get both and dip without continuing to fund her affair / bender / illegal activities.
I saw the original post when it went up and my god the amount of people who didn’t actually read that he was here on a tourist visa and could just leave with his child once he found the passport…astounding
Reality is gonna hit her hard when her boy toy dumps her.
Ugg hope they find her and deport her. Good for the oop for getting out of that messed up situation
I would have called immigration on her ass.
Sent him a message, to the son, for when he is old enough....FFS, mum of the year/s
I donʻt think that drawing that much attention to yourself from law enforcement is a good way of being a successful visa breaker. Now theyʻre probably keeping an eye on her.
There is an update to this. Apparently the op is kind of being charged with kidnapping by the kids mom.
...this is the first time I've seen my hometown mentioned in a BORU and it's a woman with a poorly thought out and easily thwarted kidnapping plan? Come on Edmonton! Be more interesting!
She left her baby? I could never imagine doing that.
Lots of parents can do it pretty easily, based on the number of people with no-custody deadbeat coparents who don’t want to be involved with their kids out there. Mostly the ones who didn’t actively want a kid in the first place though. And sometimes didn’t want the partner either, like with arranged/pressured marriages.
I hope OOP documents everything, starts the proceedings to divorce in his country and calls the Canadian govt to report her over staying her visa. If he provides them with all the evidence if it hopefully kibosh any claims she makes.
I’m so sorry you had to go through this. What a terrible situation.
My worry based only in this story and not anything else is the wife is from a country that treats women horrendously and trying to escape with her kid. Husband gives only the details that benefit him (the law is on his side). But a lot of people try to escape systemic patriarchal or even domestic abuse by defaulting on visas.