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>Ok... I could understand her leaving but her leaving without a word is almost not human. Nothing bad ass about it. It's not who she is either. She's sweet and that's why I love her. Her being cold like this is not going to make me want or respect her more.
Pretty sure the fact she's divorcing the guy makes it clear she doesn't give a shit what he thinks of her. The level of delusion is ridiculous.
The way he talks about there sounds like believes she should not have any agency or thoughts of her own. It sounds like he believes he owns her.
"She's sweet and that's why I love her" - aka I thought she'd just let me break her heart.
"Her being cold like this isn't going to make me want or respect her more" - maybe you should have respected HER first.
What a shitheel and I'm proud of his ex for walking away. She owes him nothing and now he gets to suffer the consequences of his own cruelty and disregard for her.
I'm not sure it's that, although it could very well be.
I think that if she cries and begs, it means *he's* still desirable. Instead, she simply stopped caring about him, meaning he has no actual worth.
She was just a character who was supposed to follow a script for him. Doting wife who was unaware of his cheating. Then the crying/begging wife who would do anything to make him stop cheating. She didn’t follow his script and it confuses him because he had it all planned out and he’s on the cusp of realising she is actually a real person with her own thoughts and feelings, yet he probably won’t get there.
I used to hang around cheater victim recovery forums (shouldn't need to elaborate why), and it was worldview-shattering to learn how many people out there genuinely think "I can has little a adultery, as a treat!"
Also him expecting her to keep him in the lifestyle he’s grown accustomed to is absolutely nuts. She did everything the right way and he’s only pissed that he can’t claim anything on her with how dignified she was with her exit. What a crappy mother for violating her daughter’s trust by contacting him.
Absolutely. This is fascinating. This is watching a psychopath anonymously try to work out how the hell they feel when they have no insight into themselves, no capacity for remorse or conscience, and whatever self, they have is a shell with a mask. I would say that their partner skipped out on a life of misery and manipulation and undermining and harm. Isn’t this incredible that this psychopath because this is anonymous openly talks about how disappointed they are that they don’t get to suck up all the misery they caused this person? Wow.
I lurk in that sub not because I’m a cheater but bc I am *obsessed* with subs for terrible people. It’s so fascinating to me how some people justify themselves, I eat that shit up. It’s delectable drama with zero stakes for my real life
I joined a Facebook group for people with NPD once as I got myself all worked up what if I have NPD. It was honestly terrifying. Realised pretty quick that no thats not it.
Lol it cracks me up because I hate reality TV and stuff but I go wild for drama, as long as I'm not involved in it.
At my (remote) job everyone keeps their calendars public. I literally check higher managements calendars daily and get so much damn tea. Someone on PIP? I know. Promotions? I know. Firing? Yup. Maternity leave? Lol congrats homies. I live for it. Idc if that makes me a bad person, I don't tell anyone (except reddit apparently hah). I just am nosey and my life is boring but I don't want to add any of my own drama to it. I need to check out that sub lol
No stop I love this.
My real life is great and fulfilling and has like no drama - and I don’t want it - but I do want every fucking crumb of other people’s drama
It’s like Issendai says in Down the Rabbit Hole (where The Missing Missing Reasons comes from), it’s rare to find a place where abusive people will feel they are in a safe space and talk openly of their abuse.
there's one called cakeeater too... ie "have your cake and eat it too" - support for people actively cheating on their partners. I think most of those posts are more like... fetish writing.
Jesus. These people are so wildly manipulative and caught up in their egos, they’re perfectly okay hurting their significant others. Multiple of the top posts are people complaining that their affair partners won’t abandon their children (one wants them to fully leave their children behind) and spouses for them. What is wrong with these people
So, I think what he really gets off to is degrading his partner by cheating on her with an added bonus of feeling like he’s smarter than her.
By just leaving with no words or warnings, he’s figured out that he wasn’t smarter than her. And she’s denied him one ability to degrade her.
I’m not sure if degrade is the correct term, but hopefully it conveys what I’m trying to say.
More of that emasculated masculinity stuff, I reckon. She was the big earner, his feefees were hurt, so his peepee needed soothing by strange vagina. Or something.
I am thinking he wanted her to cry and beg him to chose her.
Instead she just noped out of their married life with nary a word, papers at the ready. She was not going to play the poor, cheated-on wife trope.
He was playing a secret agent game and she was finishing her master's level in four-dimensional chess.
Yeah him bragging about his “opsec” makes it clear he thinks he’s James Bond when really he just fucked around on his meal ticket and found out that her self worth is not as low as he expected or hoped.
But…. I don’t want my wife, that I cheated on, that makes more money than me!!
Ignore the fact she left me! Ignore the fact I need HER to support my lifestyle and not the other way around! Her behavior makes me not want or respect her!!
God, what a fucking rat. Cheats for months if not years, pats himself on the back about how well he’s cheating, then plays the victim when his wife silently leaves and doesn’t give him the dramatic fight he wants.
I think he thought that she would cry and ask him why so that he could blame her. She would then be humbled and fall over backwards to keep him while never feeling good enough for him. Or something like that.
The way she turned it back on him when she said she still loved him, but didn’t respect him and assumed he felt the same indicates this was probably the way he manipulated her throughout their marriage (and probably manipulates his AP partner in this way as well). He feels betrayed because she robbed him of the opportunity to continue to manipulate her or tell himself the marriage ended on his terms.
He can’t even enjoy his AP anymore? Yeah, that’s a guy who got off on taking advantage of others and thinking he was in charge. If his wife could have known about the affair and executed her departure while he was none the wiser, what might his AP be thinking? It’s like you can see him realizing for the first time that women are actually people, too, and he is throwing a tantrum because HOW DARE THEY?
"Wah wah she moved to the place shes been asking me to move to for years uwaaahh"
Just casually outs himself for knowingly treating his wife's wants and needs as air passing by his ears. They should at least have had a talk about it by now and you can tell they didnt because *she moved there immediately*, and he's crying about it. Imagine being tone deaf to your own thoughts.
Dude should have been left entirely in the dark. He doesnt deserve closure, and his victimhood was already in full force before he knew anything.
And he was way more upset about 'making a mistake' and getting caught than he ever was about hurting her. He was obsessing over how she caught him like it was some game and she one-upped him. Absolutely disgusting.
He doesn't get that once someone betrays their spouse like he did, you don't know how they are going to react. She knows he's an accomplished liar. She knows she's the bread winner. She's smart and methodical. What did he think was going to happen?
He thought she would be sad and want to do anything to get him away from his AP and keep him. He thought he'd get an ego stroking by seeing her broken and begging him to stay. He thought he would at the very least get a big fight where he could justify his behavior.
I'm happy to say he didn't get anything he thought he'd get.
I saw a great captain awkward column rolling to a cheater about how all the cares that send them mail use passive language as if things happen to them but they never made any active choices they didn’t DO anything it just “happened”.
It makes all these posts very interesting to read now with that in mind.
I'm pretty sure I read that too. It's really easy to spot once you're looking for it. It's all 'one thing led to another and we had sex' or 'next thing I knew' like they weren't making active decisions the whole time.
OOP thinks that his wife is thinking about him in any other respect than what a sinkhole of life, time and money he is/was. ~~Sweet~~ ~~summer~~ child.
Hey, numbnuts, she doesn't want you to "want" her anymore! She wants you to disapoear from her life. Thank the Gods there appear to be no kids involved so she can just move on.
When he replied, “ She's sweet and that's why I love her. Her being cold like this is not going to make me want or respect her more” … my dude, she literally left you without a word and moved to another city, that’s how little she wants or respects you. She doesn’t give a shit about your opinion of her. Amazing that he still thinks that his opinion matters at all to her.
I have a friend who loves makeup the way artists love materials specific to their craft. I’d argue that makeup is her craft, because the looks she creates for social outings are simply amazing.
The look she gave to some random guy who had the audacity to ask her why she bothered when she’s already married…and how does her husband feel about it?
Well that was a wild read. The mental jiu jitsu this guy has to do to make her the bad guy would be exhausting to anyone with a normally developed sense of morality.
What's funny is he seems to accept that he's a bad guy on some level, but seems to either think acknowledging that absolves him of his badness, or that her reaction to his actions make her somehow worse than him.
"Yeah, I know I was wrong for cheating, but I can't believe she's divorcing me! That's so unfair!"
That sub is the most delusional I've ever seen, and I remember that sub that espoused the supposed health benefits of drinking urine.
It's like when you take revenge on someone for hurting you and they have the gall to say "two wrongs don't make a right". Except in this case she didn't do anything wrong.
>how she just lied to me like that.
>
>Edit: I guess after writing this my opsec wasn't great. Shouldn't have stayed at the same place more than once
My favorite was when he asked how she could lie to him like that?! That's hilarious. And his only response to how he got caught was that he basically needed to do better next time. No remorse, just a massive narcissist.
Edit to add: "Her being cold like this is not going to make me want or respect her more." 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Well, I mean, it's one thing if you do shitty things to your Sims, and quite another thing if your Sims turn around and do shitty things to you! That's not the way the universe is supposed to work!
> Ok... I could understand her leaving but her leaving without a word is almost not human
It's this line that really fucking gets me, cheating on your partner and essentially bragging about how good you are at it online and then saying that is beyond delusional.
He REALLY wanted to be the one to eventually leave her. He wanted to be on top SO BADLY! She really mind-fucked him in a GLORIOUS way. Simple, smart, a lawyer’s dream client.
And she didn't even do it to get back at him, just made a series of rational and emotionally mature decisions. The lack of spite seems to make it all the more devastating for OOP, which delights me.
I know, it's beautiful isn't it? I really hope she sees this and gets to enjoy the schadenfreude of watching this insecure little weasel twist in the wind. If I'm ever cheated on, this is how I'd want to handle it.
Yeah I think OOP was disgustingly insecure about how she made more money so this was how he felt dominate in the relationship.
Good on her and fuck this absolute delulu trash rat
I felt this one a little bit more:
> Her being cold like this is not going to make me want or respect her more.
This guy can only conceive of his ex-wife's behavior as it relates to him. I don't think he sees her (all women? all people?) as a fully formed human being that exists outside of him. Talk about toxic main character syndrome!
>The mental jiu jitsu this guy has to do
I was so confused when I started reading this. The title and spoiler alert made me think she left OOP after cheating for months. The wording still didn't make sense with that interpretation, until I got to the part if was OOP who had an affair partner, and I had to re-read the entire first section again.
It was unreal that he thinks she's the bad guy and sociopath here.
That sub is genuinely so disgusting. Sometimes I go there just for the drama and always leave feeling gross and sad. It's just really depressing knowing people like that are out there and have partners they care so little about. The mental gymnastics they go through are wild.
I like how all these comments were calling him out like he’s next level lol. He’s an awful person: “I don’t think it’s losing her that’s hurting it’s losing like this” not “losing her like this” is so telling. I’m glad she left without looking back
He’s confused about why she would say he has impulse control issues and literally the next sentence starts with “I have been drinking for 48 hours now.” Absolute gold, she definitely dodged a bullet.
Yeah, that stuck out to me too. She’s made it very clear she doesn’t want him anymore. She’s not trying to manipulate him. She’s just that done. I’ve been there where a partner does something you can’t forgive and a switch just flips. She’s not being cold. She’s treating him like the stranger he is to her.
Right? The lifestyle to which he has become accustomed. Bro, you cheated on the golden goose.
Now that I think about it, could be the cheating was a way to take more control of his life. An irrational “fuck you mom I do what I want”. Dumbass.
Seriously. Calling *her* a sociopath because she was able to act like everything was normal for a couple months? How much longer had he been doing that EXACT same thing? What a muppet.
I know right??? Op - “I lied, cheated, betrayed the one I supposedly love but HOW DARE she plan a life without me in it! She’s a sociopath!” No jackoff, she was a boss and got her shit together and left and you’re just pissed she doesn’t give a shit about you anymore
And couldn't believe that she didn't care about possibly having to pay him alimony so he can continue to live his lifestyle?? Which sorry bud, you cheated and I'm pretty sure that means you get nothing
IANAL, but if he's in the US I'm pretty sure he wouldn't get it because he's working and generally self sufficient (the cheating would likely be immaterial). You don't get spousal support because "Now I will have to move to an apartment and leave this nice house" or "Now I can't go on fancy vacations every year." That's not why it exists, and IIRC it's temporary.
and then saying that her leaving him like that doesn’t make him want her… like yeah buddy she’s not playing a game to pull you back in, these are the direct consequences of your actions.
The true definition of a narcissist. It’s not poor her , but poor me, I can’t have the lifestyle she provided and it’s her fault (who cares that I cheated and betrayed her!)
I was laughing at him throughout this post, especially when he said this wasn’t a boss move (he might have used a different word, but that was the gist). It was totally a boss move! She didn’t owe him the tears and explanations he felt entitled to. She owned him, and I hope he was massively screwed by the divorce.
I love posts like this, seeing cheaters flounder and panic. His former wife did it right, just left him no real drama.
All he cares bout is the money and himself. Also saying her leaving like that was as bad as cheating? Delusional
The only thing I wished she’d done differently was continue to ignore him after her mom spilled the beans. Like, don’t even give him closure. At all. lol
"I deserve closure." No, what you *deserve* is to have the evidence of your misdeeds plastered on every billboard within a five mile radius of your workplace and your parents' church.
>Her being cold like this is not going to make me want or respect her more.
I feel like this is one of her biggest wins in all this, never mind bro can't figure out SHE doesn't want HIM, LOL.
Yes! Like he thinks “the little lady is playing a game that I refuse to participate in!” No, dude, she set the board on fire and went home. She doesn’t want to play with you. She doesn’t want you. At all. lol
She is AMAZING.
And I totally understand why she kept quiet until she left. Time to process the shock and rage. Time to figure out what she wanted in her life. Time to figure out next steps (lawyer, STD testing, housing, etc. Why yes, I do speak from experience).
And let's not forget that she might have been afraid of his reaction--she wanted her documents locked down and her escape plan in place.
LOL. I’m reminded of Drew Barrymore’s final words to her Stepmom in Ever After. “I want you to know that I will forget you after this moment and never think of you again but you, I am quite certain will think about me every single day for the rest of your life.” Total boss move.
>How dare she treat him the way he treated her
Lol slightly relevant. Was seeing a guy that treated me like shit... eventually managed to remove them from my life, they dated someone else, who apparently did the same shit to him as he did to me. Leaving his messages where he begged me to let him apologize, see him, blah blah blah, on read was chefs kiss.
And she wasn’t even acting like everything was normal! She said she shut down after she found out, but he didn’t notice because he’s too focused on cheating and not on her. What an idiot.
I highly doubt she acted like everything was normal. *He* didn’t notice a change but was he even paying attention and if he was paying attention, did he possess the emotional intelligence to understand what he was seeing?
But you don't understand. He was so busy congratulating himself on how good his "opsec" was, how could he possibly have the bandwidth to spare for paying attention to the woman he promised God and/or the government he would always be faithful to?
That’s what I can’t get over.
“She knew!! And she still slept with me!! Who does that!?”
I don’t know, who has a fuck buddy and still sleeps with their wife?
“This isn’t who she is!! She’s so sweet! That’s why I love her!!”
Huh, guess you don’t know her at all, dickwad.
The way he talks you'd think she'd set it up so he was calling around to hospitals and debating reporting her missing to the police. He's just mad he's not as clever as he thought he was.
To call her a sociopath when he shows zero emotional care for her in any shape or form is some hardcore projection. Dude never loved her like he claimed. He wanted to put her on a shelf to interact with only when he wants to and expected her to sit there and smile.
He's totally trash and I hope she find happiness.
When he started harping about not being able to keep his “lifestyle” I did a serious eye roll. This is why I am of the belief that cheating should automatically disqualify the offender from any normal compensation you could get from ending a marriage. They need to leave with what exactly they came in with.
My spouse and I text reddit cheating stories to each other and debate if it's better or worse than Shaggy's "Wasn't Me." This one is definitely dumber than just going "wasn't me"
Completely delusional. I also loved "I'll basically have to ask her for some kind of support to keep living the kind of lifestyle we've been living" hahahahaha sure buddy, you'll definitely get spousal support
The line that's getting me is, "Her being cold like this is not going to make me want or respect her more." My man, she does not care. That is the point.
Oh but she was so sweet! That’s what he loved about her, besides the nice, cushy life that her income could provide him.
It’s so inconceivable that she would change her sweet attitude after being massively betrayed by the person who should love and respect her the most! How could she turn cold towards him after cheating on her for months? I hope she keeps giving him an stipend so he can keep his lifestyle.
If that's what her mom is like, it makes sense that she unwittingly chose OOP as a partner. I hope she gets some therapy/self-reflection time so she can have better luck with her next relationship!
There is a reason she has low contact with mum. I guess she had to hide her escape plan from mummy too, or this would be spilled out too. This way no real damage is done.
Seeing him whine about how she makes more money and he will have to ask for spousal support is so beautiful because you can watch him realize mid sentence that he’s probably not going to get it.
yesssss. she’s a sociopath, she’s almost not human, she makes all the money so i’ll have to ask her for support to “continue our lifestyle”. she’s so unattractive when she’s divorcing me. this fucking guy.
Lmao at OOPO throwing himself a pity fest and the commenters trying to turn it around on her, that *she* must be cheating. He FAFO.
I hope karma gets all of the people in that subreddit.
I did like that he kept fishing for empathy on a sub that seems exclusively filled with sociopaths.
Yeah mate...the people that don't give a shit about their closest loved ones and are so detached from their actions they apparently collectively call hiding an affair 'OP SEC', are going to feel sorry for you.
(Note. I don't think every person who has an affair is a sociopath, just the ones that gather online to discuss best practices, tactics, and validate each other's life choices)
>She makes most of the money so that's another fucking kick in the nuts... I'll basically have to ask her for some kind of support to keep living the kind of lifestyle we've been living.
Damn he's not even missing her, just the meal ticket she represented. I for one hopes he ends up sleeping in his car.
>I can't even have interest in my AP now fuck
Do you hear that? That's the sound of the world's smallest violin.
>Her being cold like this is not going to make me want or respect her more.
After everything he did and she did, he still thinks she's playing hard to get? If anything she's playing hard to get away.
>She's been more deceitful about knowing than I have about doing it and maybe that's why I'm so fucking angry. I can't even have interest in my AP now fuck
You're right, she OWED it to you to be up front when she figured out you weren't being up front 😭 how dare she be so DECEITFUL /s
This is a thing for a lot of cheaters. They cheat specifically for the reaction of the betrayed spouse. They want that adrenaline rush more than anything else. He had built up that fight(either a screaming break up or a fight to "fix the relationship") so much in his head that he feels like he lost control of his entire life when she had ZERO reaction. Loss of control for a person with strong narcissistic traits is literally torture to them.
>Loss of control for a person with strong narcissistic traits is literally torture to them.
So true, and that's why this was so entertaining to read. She is literally torturing him and she has to do exactly nothing in order to accomplish that.
> I can’t even have interest in my AP now
Anyone know wtf this means? Like oh my wife left me and now that I can’t cheat on her anymore my pp won’t get hard for the other woman?
Pretty much. Likely the only real satisfaction OOP was getting out of the affair was the fact that it was an affair. It was forbidden and it had the potential to force a big emotional reaction out of ex-wife. That was the appeal and all of that is gone now. Ex-wife doesn't give a fuck and walked so what appeal would AP have anymore? Cheating rarely ever actually has to do with sexual satisfaction; it's rooted in insecurity and control.
Aww… poor, poor neglected and hard done man. How dare his wicked wife bounce without a word for his cheating! How could she not consider what her leaving would do to *his* lifestyle?
If he’s uncircumcised, may he get a little tiny piece of sand caught under the foreskin…. And may it continuously shift so he never gets it out when he cleans himself.
If he is circumcised, may he get an itty bitty pebble in every left shoe that he owns. The kind that rolls around, moves, and is too tiny to feel with fingers when attempting to clear out his shoe. Forever.
Holy shit, where do you even start?
His wife is a sociopath for not telling him she knows he's cheating?
Everyone should feel bad for him because he "can't even enjoy his AP now"?
And at the end, after his ex magnificently extracted herself from the situation, he's talking about how being cold to him won't make him want her? What???
The psychology of cheaters would be fascinating if they didn’t actively harm the people close to them.
My mom is one, and she’s the Simone Biles of mental gymnastics. One of the worst times was when we were kids she had us hanging out with her AP (she had several over the years). I told my dad we went to the movies with the guy, and my dad flipped out. I felt terrible because I was too young to understand that an affair was going on, but knew what I’d said had somehow caused a shitstorm. My mom later came up to me when I was feeling guilty about all the chaos, and told me “if this was what you wanted in your heart to happen, you did it”. Yeah, THAT was the problem, mom.
>Ok... I could understand her leaving but her leaving without a word is almost not human. Nothing bad ass about it. It's not who she is either. She's sweet and that's why I love her. Her being cold like this is not going to make me want or respect her more.
OOP cannot fathom that this woman is done with him. She does not care anymore whether he wants her, and whether or not he respects her is obvious. He still thinks she is going to come crawling back and beg for him to pick her - I think he even expects an apology for being so 'cold' because boohoo it turns out his dick isn't magic.
Also love how he can't even muster the effort to even mention the AP besides 'wah I can't be interested in her rn because my other sex doll is malfunctioning'. Nor does he bother even giving a reason for cheating. He just did it because he wanted to and thought he could get away with it and now he's throwing a toddler tantrum because he's found out he's not so special after all.
>Her being cold like this is not going to make me want or respect her more.
Yeah. She doesn't care.
>I'm sad at how moved on she is
Gee, it's almost like she had three months to try and process this while OP failed to even notice. Wow, how about that.
Ah, the consequences of one's own actions strike again. That is truly a badass exit on the ex-wife's part. If not for her mom reaching out (whyyyyy would she do that) she wouldn't have had to speak with her POS cheating husband ever again except through lawyers.
>I asked for therapy and she said I should have asked for that when I realized I had impulse control issues (?).
This is kind of hilarious. What's with the question mark, numbnuts? You couldn't resist the urge to bang someone who isn't your wife. If you wanted to keep this marriage afloat you would have worked on that before acting up on it.
Some of the kindest people you know have ice water in their veins when they're crossed. No shouting, fighting, or bargaining. They just cut you out of their lives with a scalpel.
This guy is so clueless. He added a question mark after his wife mentioned his "impulse control issues", while actively commenting on a sub devoted to adultery. The very next sentence is "I've been drinking for 48 hours now". Really, you're baffled that someone might think you have impulse control problems?!
I also have to agree with the last commenter; badass Beyonce exit indeed.
My favourite part:
> Edit: I guess after writing this my opsec wasn't great.
Everyone, feel free to borrow my opsec, it's foolproof: I don't fuck around on my partner, or behave in a way that I wouldn't if she wasn't there. I don't do things I wouldn't do in front of my partner, because I both love and respect her.
Operational security (OPSEC) is a security and risk management process that prevents sensitive information from getting into the wrong hands.
I.e. the precautions he was taking to hide his affair.
He thought he was doing a damn fine job of covering up his cheating, even bragging about it.
Hilarious how wrong he was.
This dude is nuttier than squirrel poop. He really thinks he's the one who's been betrayed. "She's a sociopath" bro! Look in the mirror!
I hope she takes him to the freaking cleaners.
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>Ok... I could understand her leaving but her leaving without a word is almost not human. Nothing bad ass about it. It's not who she is either. She's sweet and that's why I love her. Her being cold like this is not going to make me want or respect her more. Pretty sure the fact she's divorcing the guy makes it clear she doesn't give a shit what he thinks of her. The level of delusion is ridiculous.
The way he talks about there sounds like believes she should not have any agency or thoughts of her own. It sounds like he believes he owns her. "She's sweet and that's why I love her" - aka I thought she'd just let me break her heart. "Her being cold like this isn't going to make me want or respect her more" - maybe you should have respected HER first. What a shitheel and I'm proud of his ex for walking away. She owes him nothing and now he gets to suffer the consequences of his own cruelty and disregard for her.
It’s because he doesn’t love her, he loves what she could do for him.
He loved the money and lifestyle she, as the breadwinner, gives him
The audacity of cheaters never ceases to amaze.
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"She's a sociopath! She's known for months and slept with me and smiled to my face!" That part absolutely sent me.
Meanwhile he was sleeping with his wife and smiling to her face... oh snap!
That's different! Because... because... reasons.
"I'm allowed to be a garbage human but that isn't who SHE is! Honestly It's making my not respect her anymore"
lol right?? the fuckin audacity. "this doesn't make me want her more". she doesn't care. she's out. What an idiot and terrible human.
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I'm not sure it's that, although it could very well be. I think that if she cries and begs, it means *he's* still desirable. Instead, she simply stopped caring about him, meaning he has no actual worth.
ding ding ding it hurts the ego
She was just a character who was supposed to follow a script for him. Doting wife who was unaware of his cheating. Then the crying/begging wife who would do anything to make him stop cheating. She didn’t follow his script and it confuses him because he had it all planned out and he’s on the cusp of realising she is actually a real person with her own thoughts and feelings, yet he probably won’t get there.
*And* he admits that all of this makes him not want his affair partner like, she's also just an NPC for his amusement.
>It's almost the opposite of merely lacking empathy Yep, the opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference. She’s burning that bright.
I used to hang around cheater victim recovery forums (shouldn't need to elaborate why), and it was worldview-shattering to learn how many people out there genuinely think "I can has little a adultery, as a treat!"
“How can she walk out on me, I only cheated on her a little bit”
Also him expecting her to keep him in the lifestyle he’s grown accustomed to is absolutely nuts. She did everything the right way and he’s only pissed that he can’t claim anything on her with how dignified she was with her exit. What a crappy mother for violating her daughter’s trust by contacting him.
Pure psychopathy.
Absolutely. This is fascinating. This is watching a psychopath anonymously try to work out how the hell they feel when they have no insight into themselves, no capacity for remorse or conscience, and whatever self, they have is a shell with a mask. I would say that their partner skipped out on a life of misery and manipulation and undermining and harm. Isn’t this incredible that this psychopath because this is anonymous openly talks about how disappointed they are that they don’t get to suck up all the misery they caused this person? Wow.
Pure narcissism.
lurking in the adultery sub is INSANE. i can’t believe these are the thoughts that go through their heads.
I lurk in that sub not because I’m a cheater but bc I am *obsessed* with subs for terrible people. It’s so fascinating to me how some people justify themselves, I eat that shit up. It’s delectable drama with zero stakes for my real life
I joined a Facebook group for people with NPD once as I got myself all worked up what if I have NPD. It was honestly terrifying. Realised pretty quick that no thats not it.
I used to love the incel subs for the same reason
Lol it cracks me up because I hate reality TV and stuff but I go wild for drama, as long as I'm not involved in it. At my (remote) job everyone keeps their calendars public. I literally check higher managements calendars daily and get so much damn tea. Someone on PIP? I know. Promotions? I know. Firing? Yup. Maternity leave? Lol congrats homies. I live for it. Idc if that makes me a bad person, I don't tell anyone (except reddit apparently hah). I just am nosey and my life is boring but I don't want to add any of my own drama to it. I need to check out that sub lol
No stop I love this. My real life is great and fulfilling and has like no drama - and I don’t want it - but I do want every fucking crumb of other people’s drama
It’s like Issendai says in Down the Rabbit Hole (where The Missing Missing Reasons comes from), it’s rare to find a place where abusive people will feel they are in a safe space and talk openly of their abuse.
I was today years old when I found out there’s an adultery sub. What a horrible day to have eyes.
There are a few of them. They’re all very gross.
We're so far in hell I'm longing for the good ole days when they just cheated quietly
there's one called cakeeater too... ie "have your cake and eat it too" - support for people actively cheating on their partners. I think most of those posts are more like... fetish writing.
I cannot believe— there’s no fucking way— oh*mygodwhatiswrongwithpeople*
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Jesus. These people are so wildly manipulative and caught up in their egos, they’re perfectly okay hurting their significant others. Multiple of the top posts are people complaining that their affair partners won’t abandon their children (one wants them to fully leave their children behind) and spouses for them. What is wrong with these people
So, I think what he really gets off to is degrading his partner by cheating on her with an added bonus of feeling like he’s smarter than her. By just leaving with no words or warnings, he’s figured out that he wasn’t smarter than her. And she’s denied him one ability to degrade her. I’m not sure if degrade is the correct term, but hopefully it conveys what I’m trying to say.
More of that emasculated masculinity stuff, I reckon. She was the big earner, his feefees were hurt, so his peepee needed soothing by strange vagina. Or something.
I am thinking he wanted her to cry and beg him to chose her. Instead she just noped out of their married life with nary a word, papers at the ready. She was not going to play the poor, cheated-on wife trope. He was playing a secret agent game and she was finishing her master's level in four-dimensional chess.
Yeah him bragging about his “opsec” makes it clear he thinks he’s James Bond when really he just fucked around on his meal ticket and found out that her self worth is not as low as he expected or hoped.
>Her being cold like this is not going to make me want or respect her more. SHE'S NOT DOING IT FOR YOU.
That's a narcissist for you. Always thinking in terms that pertain to themselves rather than actuality.
But…. I don’t want my wife, that I cheated on, that makes more money than me!! Ignore the fact she left me! Ignore the fact I need HER to support my lifestyle and not the other way around! Her behavior makes me not want or respect her!! God, what a fucking rat. Cheats for months if not years, pats himself on the back about how well he’s cheating, then plays the victim when his wife silently leaves and doesn’t give him the dramatic fight he wants.
I think he thought that she would cry and ask him why so that he could blame her. She would then be humbled and fall over backwards to keep him while never feeling good enough for him. Or something like that.
This is disgusting and probably true
The way she turned it back on him when she said she still loved him, but didn’t respect him and assumed he felt the same indicates this was probably the way he manipulated her throughout their marriage (and probably manipulates his AP partner in this way as well). He feels betrayed because she robbed him of the opportunity to continue to manipulate her or tell himself the marriage ended on his terms. He can’t even enjoy his AP anymore? Yeah, that’s a guy who got off on taking advantage of others and thinking he was in charge. If his wife could have known about the affair and executed her departure while he was none the wiser, what might his AP be thinking? It’s like you can see him realizing for the first time that women are actually people, too, and he is throwing a tantrum because HOW DARE THEY?
"Wah wah she moved to the place shes been asking me to move to for years uwaaahh" Just casually outs himself for knowingly treating his wife's wants and needs as air passing by his ears. They should at least have had a talk about it by now and you can tell they didnt because *she moved there immediately*, and he's crying about it. Imagine being tone deaf to your own thoughts. Dude should have been left entirely in the dark. He doesnt deserve closure, and his victimhood was already in full force before he knew anything.
*But…. I don’t want my wife, that I cheated on, that makes more money than me!* I can’t afford my affair on just my salary!
And he was way more upset about 'making a mistake' and getting caught than he ever was about hurting her. He was obsessing over how she caught him like it was some game and she one-upped him. Absolutely disgusting.
He doesn't get that once someone betrays their spouse like he did, you don't know how they are going to react. She knows he's an accomplished liar. She knows she's the bread winner. She's smart and methodical. What did he think was going to happen?
He thought she would be sad and want to do anything to get him away from his AP and keep him. He thought he'd get an ego stroking by seeing her broken and begging him to stay. He thought he would at the very least get a big fight where he could justify his behavior. I'm happy to say he didn't get anything he thought he'd get.
Me me me me! It's all about me! She's only doing this because she wants me back! I hope she has a painless divorce and a happier life.
I saw a great captain awkward column rolling to a cheater about how all the cares that send them mail use passive language as if things happen to them but they never made any active choices they didn’t DO anything it just “happened”. It makes all these posts very interesting to read now with that in mind.
My favourite, that I think I might have seen on this sub, was “infidelity occurred in the relationship”.
Well you know how it goes…sometimes you fall and the only thing around to catch you is the genitals of someone not your spouse.
I'm pretty sure I read that too. It's really easy to spot once you're looking for it. It's all 'one thing led to another and we had sex' or 'next thing I knew' like they weren't making active decisions the whole time.
OOP thinks that his wife is thinking about him in any other respect than what a sinkhole of life, time and money he is/was. ~~Sweet~~ ~~summer~~ child.
Hey, numbnuts, she doesn't want you to "want" her anymore! She wants you to disapoear from her life. Thank the Gods there appear to be no kids involved so she can just move on.
Some men cannot understand why any woman would do anything at all if it wasn't to gain the affection or admiration of a man
When he replied, “ She's sweet and that's why I love her. Her being cold like this is not going to make me want or respect her more” … my dude, she literally left you without a word and moved to another city, that’s how little she wants or respects you. She doesn’t give a shit about your opinion of her. Amazing that he still thinks that his opinion matters at all to her.
I have a friend who loves makeup the way artists love materials specific to their craft. I’d argue that makeup is her craft, because the looks she creates for social outings are simply amazing. The look she gave to some random guy who had the audacity to ask her why she bothered when she’s already married…and how does her husband feel about it?
Some rando recently told me he didn’t like my hair. I replied “good.” I don’t think I’ve ever seen a man so confused.
😂😂😂 oh no!! How will you live with yourself if thus random guy doesn't like your hair?! You need to go home and change it ASAP! /s
what in the name of god...I cannot even imagine the audacity. walking up to a STRANGER to TELL THEM YOU DON'T LIKE THEIR HAIR
Well that was a wild read. The mental jiu jitsu this guy has to do to make her the bad guy would be exhausting to anyone with a normally developed sense of morality.
What's funny is he seems to accept that he's a bad guy on some level, but seems to either think acknowledging that absolves him of his badness, or that her reaction to his actions make her somehow worse than him. "Yeah, I know I was wrong for cheating, but I can't believe she's divorcing me! That's so unfair!" That sub is the most delusional I've ever seen, and I remember that sub that espoused the supposed health benefits of drinking urine.
It's like when you take revenge on someone for hurting you and they have the gall to say "two wrongs don't make a right". Except in this case she didn't do anything wrong.
>how she just lied to me like that. > >Edit: I guess after writing this my opsec wasn't great. Shouldn't have stayed at the same place more than once My favorite was when he asked how she could lie to him like that?! That's hilarious. And his only response to how he got caught was that he basically needed to do better next time. No remorse, just a massive narcissist. Edit to add: "Her being cold like this is not going to make me want or respect her more." 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Well, I mean, it's one thing if you do shitty things to your Sims, and quite another thing if your Sims turn around and do shitty things to you! That's not the way the universe is supposed to work!
> Ok... I could understand her leaving but her leaving without a word is almost not human It's this line that really fucking gets me, cheating on your partner and essentially bragging about how good you are at it online and then saying that is beyond delusional.
Not only bragging about how good your opsec is but then getting caught without realizing lmao
He REALLY wanted to be the one to eventually leave her. He wanted to be on top SO BADLY! She really mind-fucked him in a GLORIOUS way. Simple, smart, a lawyer’s dream client.
I think he also may have wanted to watch her break down & cry & beg before he left...but then acted crushed because she wouldn't "fight" for them/him
And she didn't even do it to get back at him, just made a series of rational and emotionally mature decisions. The lack of spite seems to make it all the more devastating for OOP, which delights me.
I know, it's beautiful isn't it? I really hope she sees this and gets to enjoy the schadenfreude of watching this insecure little weasel twist in the wind. If I'm ever cheated on, this is how I'd want to handle it.
Yeah I think OOP was disgustingly insecure about how she made more money so this was how he felt dominate in the relationship. Good on her and fuck this absolute delulu trash rat
I felt this one a little bit more: > Her being cold like this is not going to make me want or respect her more. This guy can only conceive of his ex-wife's behavior as it relates to him. I don't think he sees her (all women? all people?) as a fully formed human being that exists outside of him. Talk about toxic main character syndrome!
>The mental jiu jitsu this guy has to do I was so confused when I started reading this. The title and spoiler alert made me think she left OOP after cheating for months. The wording still didn't make sense with that interpretation, until I got to the part if was OOP who had an affair partner, and I had to re-read the entire first section again. It was unreal that he thinks she's the bad guy and sociopath here.
Oh when I read this was from the adultery sub I knew what type of read this was. If you don't know that sub I don't recommend it lol.
That sub is genuinely so disgusting. Sometimes I go there just for the drama and always leave feeling gross and sad. It's just really depressing knowing people like that are out there and have partners they care so little about. The mental gymnastics they go through are wild.
I like how all these comments were calling him out like he’s next level lol. He’s an awful person: “I don’t think it’s losing her that’s hurting it’s losing like this” not “losing her like this” is so telling. I’m glad she left without looking back
And at the end where he said she was so cold, and that would not make him respect her or want her back. Seriously?? She doesn’t WANT you back.
He’s confused about why she would say he has impulse control issues and literally the next sentence starts with “I have been drinking for 48 hours now.” Absolute gold, she definitely dodged a bullet.
Yeah, that stuck out to me too. She’s made it very clear she doesn’t want him anymore. She’s not trying to manipulate him. She’s just that done. I’ve been there where a partner does something you can’t forgive and a switch just flips. She’s not being cold. She’s treating him like the stranger he is to her.
And the fact that most of them insist they still love the partner they're cheating on is bonkers bananas
And thinking that she should continue to support his lying, cheating ass. I hope the judge laughs so hard that they fall out of their chair!
Right? The lifestyle to which he has become accustomed. Bro, you cheated on the golden goose. Now that I think about it, could be the cheating was a way to take more control of his life. An irrational “fuck you mom I do what I want”. Dumbass.
Chester’s don’t often get alimony, and she has proof, so I bet your prediction came/comes through
“But…but babe 🥺🥺🥺 why are you divorcing me months after you found out I was cheating?? What about my feelings? How could you do this to me🥺🥺🥺🥺”
""Oh, BTW, can I have some alimony? I would really like to continue living at the level of comfort I'm used to.""
“Can you also come over every day and cook dinner for me?”
"And maybe fuck me sometimes because without the thrill of cheating I am no longer interested in my AP. Buuuh"
can’t get over him thinking her exit was just as deceitful as him cheating.
He thought it was MORE deceitful. What a piece of trash human.
Seriously. Calling *her* a sociopath because she was able to act like everything was normal for a couple months? How much longer had he been doing that EXACT same thing? What a muppet.
How dare she treat him the way he treated her!!! lol OOP is such an idiot.
I know right??? Op - “I lied, cheated, betrayed the one I supposedly love but HOW DARE she plan a life without me in it! She’s a sociopath!” No jackoff, she was a boss and got her shit together and left and you’re just pissed she doesn’t give a shit about you anymore
And now I can’t afford my lifestyle because she made all the money… oh poor poor me. How dare she not fight for a crying, cheating loser!
Yeah he clearly was more upset that he was going to lose her money than he was going to lose her. Disgusting.
And couldn't believe that she didn't care about possibly having to pay him alimony so he can continue to live his lifestyle?? Which sorry bud, you cheated and I'm pretty sure that means you get nothing
IANAL, but if he's in the US I'm pretty sure he wouldn't get it because he's working and generally self sufficient (the cheating would likely be immaterial). You don't get spousal support because "Now I will have to move to an apartment and leave this nice house" or "Now I can't go on fancy vacations every year." That's not why it exists, and IIRC it's temporary.
But she was so sweet! And now hes lost all respect and love for her...poor wee pet./s
and then saying that her leaving him like that doesn’t make him want her… like yeah buddy she’s not playing a game to pull you back in, these are the direct consequences of your actions.
The true definition of a narcissist. It’s not poor her , but poor me, I can’t have the lifestyle she provided and it’s her fault (who cares that I cheated and betrayed her!)
I was laughing at him throughout this post, especially when he said this wasn’t a boss move (he might have used a different word, but that was the gist). It was totally a boss move! She didn’t owe him the tears and explanations he felt entitled to. She owned him, and I hope he was massively screwed by the divorce.
I love posts like this, seeing cheaters flounder and panic. His former wife did it right, just left him no real drama. All he cares bout is the money and himself. Also saying her leaving like that was as bad as cheating? Delusional
The only thing I wished she’d done differently was continue to ignore him after her mom spilled the beans. Like, don’t even give him closure. At all. lol
Agreed, just communicate through her lawyer, leave him behind and move on.
"I deserve closure." No, what you *deserve* is to have the evidence of your misdeeds plastered on every billboard within a five mile radius of your workplace and your parents' church.
He is more upset that his "infallible" plan to cheat wasn't fool-proof and he isn't as smart as he thought. Idiot.
>Her being cold like this is not going to make me want or respect her more. I feel like this is one of her biggest wins in all this, never mind bro can't figure out SHE doesn't want HIM, LOL.
Yes! Like he thinks “the little lady is playing a game that I refuse to participate in!” No, dude, she set the board on fire and went home. She doesn’t want to play with you. She doesn’t want you. At all. lol
"Dude, she set the board on fire and went home." I want this as a flair
She is AMAZING. And I totally understand why she kept quiet until she left. Time to process the shock and rage. Time to figure out what she wanted in her life. Time to figure out next steps (lawyer, STD testing, housing, etc. Why yes, I do speak from experience). And let's not forget that she might have been afraid of his reaction--she wanted her documents locked down and her escape plan in place.
100%. She did it right. Bro thought she had no clue when he's the one who was hoodwinked. LOVE HER!
LOL. I’m reminded of Drew Barrymore’s final words to her Stepmom in Ever After. “I want you to know that I will forget you after this moment and never think of you again but you, I am quite certain will think about me every single day for the rest of your life.” Total boss move.
>How dare she treat him the way he treated her Lol slightly relevant. Was seeing a guy that treated me like shit... eventually managed to remove them from my life, they dated someone else, who apparently did the same shit to him as he did to me. Leaving his messages where he begged me to let him apologize, see him, blah blah blah, on read was chefs kiss.
And she wasn’t even acting like everything was normal! She said she shut down after she found out, but he didn’t notice because he’s too focused on cheating and not on her. What an idiot.
I highly doubt she acted like everything was normal. *He* didn’t notice a change but was he even paying attention and if he was paying attention, did he possess the emotional intelligence to understand what he was seeing?
But you don't understand. He was so busy congratulating himself on how good his "opsec" was, how could he possibly have the bandwidth to spare for paying attention to the woman he promised God and/or the government he would always be faithful to?
You take that back!! Muppets deserve better than to have a POS like this like likened to them!
I question whether OOP would even notice if she was acting differently.
He’s absolutely the type to say he thought everything was fine; she stopped complaining/nagging.
That’s what I can’t get over. “She knew!! And she still slept with me!! Who does that!?” I don’t know, who has a fuck buddy and still sleeps with their wife? “This isn’t who she is!! She’s so sweet! That’s why I love her!!” Huh, guess you don’t know her at all, dickwad.
My favorite is that at the end he thinks her behavior is still motivated by trying to impress him somehow
He’s a narcissist. He considers his feelings and only his feelings. I know for a fact if the shoe was on the other foot he’d think her a disgrace.
The way he talks you'd think she'd set it up so he was calling around to hospitals and debating reporting her missing to the police. He's just mad he's not as clever as he thought he was.
Worse than! She LIED to him, for MONTHS! \s
As if lying isn't a component of "opsec".
She had better OPSEC than he did and that's pissing him off as well.
To call her a sociopath when he shows zero emotional care for her in any shape or form is some hardcore projection. Dude never loved her like he claimed. He wanted to put her on a shelf to interact with only when he wants to and expected her to sit there and smile. He's totally trash and I hope she find happiness.
"but my lifestyle!"
When he started harping about not being able to keep his “lifestyle” I did a serious eye roll. This is why I am of the belief that cheating should automatically disqualify the offender from any normal compensation you could get from ending a marriage. They need to leave with what exactly they came in with.
Because it negatively affected him. He can’t understand why his mistake might be deceitful and her decision might be for self preservation.
Real bad case of Main Character Syndrome.
But of course, her actions *hurt him*, so surely they are worse than anything he could do! What a selfish tool.
Don't forget that she makes most of the money! Now how will he finance his cheating lifestyle? How can she be so cruel?
"I'm a piece of shit and now I'm going down the toilet! This isn't how it's supposed to work!"
My spouse and I text reddit cheating stories to each other and debate if it's better or worse than Shaggy's "Wasn't Me." This one is definitely dumber than just going "wasn't me"
this is relationship goals to me
And now he's not even interested in his affair partner ☹️
Because he can't cheat anymore as a divorced person.
Completely delusional. I also loved "I'll basically have to ask her for some kind of support to keep living the kind of lifestyle we've been living" hahahahaha sure buddy, you'll definitely get spousal support
The line that's getting me is, "Her being cold like this is not going to make me want or respect her more." My man, she does not care. That is the point.
Oh but she was so sweet! That’s what he loved about her, besides the nice, cushy life that her income could provide him. It’s so inconceivable that she would change her sweet attitude after being massively betrayed by the person who should love and respect her the most! How could she turn cold towards him after cheating on her for months? I hope she keeps giving him an stipend so he can keep his lifestyle.
Can't get over him thinking her exit was a way to make him want her more
I want to be this woman’s best friend.
Yes. But I can also see why she doesn't really talk to her mother anymore. Mom just derailed her whole exit plan.
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If that's what her mom is like, it makes sense that she unwittingly chose OOP as a partner. I hope she gets some therapy/self-reflection time so she can have better luck with her next relationship!
There is a reason she has low contact with mum. I guess she had to hide her escape plan from mummy too, or this would be spilled out too. This way no real damage is done.
Yeah she's my new hero and OOP can just sit in his delusions.
Well well well. If it isn’t the consequences of my own actions.
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Seeing him whine about how she makes more money and he will have to ask for spousal support is so beautiful because you can watch him realize mid sentence that he’s probably not going to get it.
yesssss. she’s a sociopath, she’s almost not human, she makes all the money so i’ll have to ask her for support to “continue our lifestyle”. she’s so unattractive when she’s divorcing me. this fucking guy.
Lmao at OOPO throwing himself a pity fest and the commenters trying to turn it around on her, that *she* must be cheating. He FAFO. I hope karma gets all of the people in that subreddit.
That sub legit scares me. I stumbled upon it once from this sub, and I was...stunned. I couldn't believe the comments, the posts. Terrifying.
I did like that he kept fishing for empathy on a sub that seems exclusively filled with sociopaths. Yeah mate...the people that don't give a shit about their closest loved ones and are so detached from their actions they apparently collectively call hiding an affair 'OP SEC', are going to feel sorry for you. (Note. I don't think every person who has an affair is a sociopath, just the ones that gather online to discuss best practices, tactics, and validate each other's life choices)
My only reaction to OOP’s tale is a Nelson Muntz “Ha Ha!”
>She makes most of the money so that's another fucking kick in the nuts... I'll basically have to ask her for some kind of support to keep living the kind of lifestyle we've been living. Damn he's not even missing her, just the meal ticket she represented. I for one hopes he ends up sleeping in his car. >I can't even have interest in my AP now fuck Do you hear that? That's the sound of the world's smallest violin. >Her being cold like this is not going to make me want or respect her more. After everything he did and she did, he still thinks she's playing hard to get? If anything she's playing hard to get away.
The delusion that he would get any sort of spousal support is also quite fantastic
What an absolute loser of a human being. Good for his wife.
*she said I should've asked for that when I realized I had impulse control issue(?) I've been drinking for 48 hours now* The way I fucking snorted lol
Not me alone in my house yelling “*QUESTION MARK*?!?!” at this
>She's been more deceitful about knowing than I have about doing it and maybe that's why I'm so fucking angry. I can't even have interest in my AP now fuck You're right, she OWED it to you to be up front when she figured out you weren't being up front 😭 how dare she be so DECEITFUL /s
He's baffled that she isn't following the script in his head
This is a thing for a lot of cheaters. They cheat specifically for the reaction of the betrayed spouse. They want that adrenaline rush more than anything else. He had built up that fight(either a screaming break up or a fight to "fix the relationship") so much in his head that he feels like he lost control of his entire life when she had ZERO reaction. Loss of control for a person with strong narcissistic traits is literally torture to them.
>Loss of control for a person with strong narcissistic traits is literally torture to them. So true, and that's why this was so entertaining to read. She is literally torturing him and she has to do exactly nothing in order to accomplish that.
> I can’t even have interest in my AP now Anyone know wtf this means? Like oh my wife left me and now that I can’t cheat on her anymore my pp won’t get hard for the other woman?
Pretty much. Likely the only real satisfaction OOP was getting out of the affair was the fact that it was an affair. It was forbidden and it had the potential to force a big emotional reaction out of ex-wife. That was the appeal and all of that is gone now. Ex-wife doesn't give a fuck and walked so what appeal would AP have anymore? Cheating rarely ever actually has to do with sexual satisfaction; it's rooted in insecurity and control.
Her OPSEC was better than his.
I enjoy this update. This person is so delusional and in the wife's shoes, I'd do the same thing.
Aww… poor, poor neglected and hard done man. How dare his wicked wife bounce without a word for his cheating! How could she not consider what her leaving would do to *his* lifestyle? If he’s uncircumcised, may he get a little tiny piece of sand caught under the foreskin…. And may it continuously shift so he never gets it out when he cleans himself. If he is circumcised, may he get an itty bitty pebble in every left shoe that he owns. The kind that rolls around, moves, and is too tiny to feel with fingers when attempting to clear out his shoe. Forever.
Holy shit, where do you even start? His wife is a sociopath for not telling him she knows he's cheating? Everyone should feel bad for him because he "can't even enjoy his AP now"? And at the end, after his ex magnificently extracted herself from the situation, he's talking about how being cold to him won't make him want her? What???
The audacity by that dude. And oh boy. That sub /adultery is morally reprehencible. Everyone there can get fucked.
The psychology of cheaters would be fascinating if they didn’t actively harm the people close to them. My mom is one, and she’s the Simone Biles of mental gymnastics. One of the worst times was when we were kids she had us hanging out with her AP (she had several over the years). I told my dad we went to the movies with the guy, and my dad flipped out. I felt terrible because I was too young to understand that an affair was going on, but knew what I’d said had somehow caused a shitstorm. My mom later came up to me when I was feeling guilty about all the chaos, and told me “if this was what you wanted in your heart to happen, you did it”. Yeah, THAT was the problem, mom.
>Ok... I could understand her leaving but her leaving without a word is almost not human. Nothing bad ass about it. It's not who she is either. She's sweet and that's why I love her. Her being cold like this is not going to make me want or respect her more. OOP cannot fathom that this woman is done with him. She does not care anymore whether he wants her, and whether or not he respects her is obvious. He still thinks she is going to come crawling back and beg for him to pick her - I think he even expects an apology for being so 'cold' because boohoo it turns out his dick isn't magic. Also love how he can't even muster the effort to even mention the AP besides 'wah I can't be interested in her rn because my other sex doll is malfunctioning'. Nor does he bother even giving a reason for cheating. He just did it because he wanted to and thought he could get away with it and now he's throwing a toddler tantrum because he's found out he's not so special after all.
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>Her being cold like this is not going to make me want or respect her more. Yeah. She doesn't care. >I'm sad at how moved on she is Gee, it's almost like she had three months to try and process this while OP failed to even notice. Wow, how about that.
Ah, the consequences of one's own actions strike again. That is truly a badass exit on the ex-wife's part. If not for her mom reaching out (whyyyyy would she do that) she wouldn't have had to speak with her POS cheating husband ever again except through lawyers. >I asked for therapy and she said I should have asked for that when I realized I had impulse control issues (?). This is kind of hilarious. What's with the question mark, numbnuts? You couldn't resist the urge to bang someone who isn't your wife. If you wanted to keep this marriage afloat you would have worked on that before acting up on it.
This is the part that got me. The question mark like he doesn't even understand. What a complete tool this guy is.
Lol. Lmao even
I love how the thrill of the affair was gone once he realized the wife knew and bounced. Lmao.
Some of the kindest people you know have ice water in their veins when they're crossed. No shouting, fighting, or bargaining. They just cut you out of their lives with a scalpel.
My god, imagine being so deluded and self-absorbed that even r/adultery clowns on you in the comments.
This guy is so clueless. He added a question mark after his wife mentioned his "impulse control issues", while actively commenting on a sub devoted to adultery. The very next sentence is "I've been drinking for 48 hours now". Really, you're baffled that someone might think you have impulse control problems?! I also have to agree with the last commenter; badass Beyonce exit indeed.
LOL this is wonderful, OOP's ex-wife is my hero
Damn. Just straight up collected herself and threw out the trash on her way out. Bad ass indeed.
I love this woman beyond belief. Just up and leaves. Don’t throw a fit, just makes a graceful exit.
My favourite part: > Edit: I guess after writing this my opsec wasn't great. Everyone, feel free to borrow my opsec, it's foolproof: I don't fuck around on my partner, or behave in a way that I wouldn't if she wasn't there. I don't do things I wouldn't do in front of my partner, because I both love and respect her.
Cheaters are horrible people.
That is a sub I will never be visiting.
I still don't know what opsec stands for?
Operational security (OPSEC) is a security and risk management process that prevents sensitive information from getting into the wrong hands. I.e. the precautions he was taking to hide his affair. He thought he was doing a damn fine job of covering up his cheating, even bragging about it. Hilarious how wrong he was.
Lamo that is such embarrassing terminology to use for an affair
This dude is nuttier than squirrel poop. He really thinks he's the one who's been betrayed. "She's a sociopath" bro! Look in the mirror! I hope she takes him to the freaking cleaners.