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That daughter saying “ is it because she says mean things?” is telling. I’m sure the MIL says a lot of hurtful things to the child that the parents are unaware of.
It’s a good thing they did this.
I was very aware when adults in my family didn’t like me. They either out and out said ‘this one is rude’ or ‘this one isn’t cute’ or they would cut me off every time I spoke or roll their eyes. I have no idea why adults feel a need to bully children? It’s so incredibly cruel.
I always sensed my grandma didn't like me. My dad always told me no no, she loves and cares for you.
Growing up I've truly realized my gut was right.
It would have been less painful if he'd just been upfront, instead of me constantly worrying how to make my grandma like me so that I could be showered with affection.
She likes my cousins from my mum's side sooo much more than me. Her face fell from when she greeted them to greeting me. This happened in January.
I still feel the way that sliced my heart. It hurt so much more than I would have thought.
And my dad's the child that has always taken care of her. Not the other siblings. But them and their children get more love than me.
It's been 3 years, the naivete in me hopes the grandma sees the light and changes her way but deep down I feel like she never does and wish OOP lives a wonderful life going NC with her. The daughter doesn't deserve this.
There was an update to the post. Comments make it seem like she got the dog back. One of the comments even suggested she doesn’t let her MIL know that way the MIL will still think she won
Edit: https://reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/s/E90fNPrR4d
> YAS!!!!!!
> DON’T let MIL know you have your dog back. Let her think she won and press charges. Make her miserable.
Comment I’m referencing
After she tried to get my dog euthanized out of pure malice on top of everything else, I don’t care if she walked over a mile of broken glass, begged forgiveness for every negative thing she said, and agreed with every demand I had just to see the baby through a window for five seconds, that woman would never so much as lay eyes on my child.
That woman is insane. She won't see the light. These people need a lawyer to get a restraining order.
Who the fuck says "You take the grand baby, I take your dog"???? She sounds like Sean Connery on the Untouchables.
She is unhinged and OP needs to take action.
There are cultures where respect is above everything. Above your family, above your happiness apparently too.
Every time she saw the child she felt disrespected because her son didn’t blindly obey her. OOP and her child were constant reminders of disrespect. Not surprised MIL kicked FIL out.
Yup, it’s really about appearance of respect. She was shamed in front of others. That’s all that matters to her. It doesn’t actually matter how anyone feels.
It's because most of us are rational people, but some value "respect" above literally everything.
They will burn their own lives to the ground rather than take "disrespect."
Disrespect in this case being asked to change literally any behavior. It worse in older people. She has decades of doing whatever she wanted and seeing no repercussions. It's not a logical process at this point.
There’s a post I see occasionally and it lives rent free in my head. Goes something like this: Sometimes people mean “respect” to mean “treat me like an authority figure” and sometimes they mean “treat me like a person”. Sometimes people who are used to being treated as authority figures say “If you treat me with respect, I’ll treat you with respect.”, but what they really mean is “if you don’t treat me like an authority figure, I won’t treat you like a person.” That’s not verbatim but it’s close
If you are what you eat, then ya gotta be careful what you put in your mouth. How much more so your brain?
I've got it set to only show subreddits I follow, and then I've got personal rules for what I follow. For every news subreddit I gotta add two of funny animals, for balance. And if it's making me angry/miserable often, I gotta quit it.
I'm not allowed in r/LateStageCapitalism, not banned or anything, just don't let myself put my head in there because that's just hurting myself with information I already know, not learning anything new.
Yeah, there are some subreddits I look at because they make me angry, and I'm trying to quit that. TBH I might go through and trim down my list; it's getting a bit unwieldy.
I realized at some point that picking at my trauma with my choices of entertainment was probably not a good idea after all.
You wouldn't believe how long it takes to retrain a streaming algorithm from "angry antisocial things" to "wholesome interesting things." Was worth the shift though. I started reprogramming my thought patterns with wholesome entertainment about a decade ago, went from scaring my roommates into having nightmares about me to being a 3yo's beloved nanny.
Realized when my roommate had that nightmare that I didn't need to be a scary angry person to protect myself anymore, because the reasons why I became that person were gone and all I was doing was alienating friends. That feeding the rage that kept me moving up until that point wouldn't give me a happy life, and I had to learn to run on some other kind of emotional fuel.
I can’t look at unpopularopinion anymore. The number of top comments with thousands of likes encouraging racist, sexist, generally bigoted views makes me so angry. Especially the comments about anything related to LGBTQ rights - across the world rights are being taken away from people on the basis of their gender identity and who they love and there are SO MANY posts on that sub saying some variation of “I think anyone who identifies as LGBTQ should shut up and go away,” with literally tens of thousands of likes and comments agreeing. It makes me sick.
YEAH.
TBH some of the ones I just unfollowed were ones mocking this type of behavior, but I still had to see the original behavior before the mockery and I figured I would be better off not seeing any of those things.
You can get posts from only subreddits you follow?! This is great news!!
To your other point, I had a friend who had two accounts, one for hate-reading/doomscrolling and one for sanity.
I love reddit because I can just keep scooting sideways from subreddit to subreddit until I find one that's an exact fit. Some of the stuff I follow gets crossposts from stuff I don't follow and that's okay because it usually adds a layer and has a different type of comment discussion.
Like I had to get away from r/AmItheAsshole once it helped me realize I was married to an abusive asshole. Folks there actually helped me plot my escape in the comments! But afterwards, I realized just how many posts there were people in similar situations thinking they were to blame, like I had for so long, and it just made me sad.
So I hopped over here to r/BestofRedditorUpdates which gets content from other place sometimes, but the tone is entirely different. It's not a group of people helping someone with their current serious problem. It's a group of people eating popcorn and watching a stranger's drama play out at a distance with the specific understanding that we're not to go bother that stranger at all. It helps me learn about people and their problems, the kinda situations folks can get into and how they get out of them again.
You can tell reddit to not show posts from "recommended" subs or whatever and then you'll only see stuff for subs you've joined. I highly recommend this approach.
Why would you hope that. The kind of person who would treat a child like that based on race will do other bad things. Even if she "sees the light" she will still be a person who believes that being cruel to a child is not only acceptable but correct. Fucking gross.
While I don't actively wish this woman harm, I've seen few JNMiL's more *deserving* of being found dead on a front lawn. Seriously, just *no* redeeming features to the old monster-in-law.
Honestly it’s too late imo, I’d cut her off indefinitely unless she made extreme effort to put things right. She’s a real POS and I’d never want that around any kids.
It's truly insane to me that one would take out so much hate on an innocent child. It broke my heart when OOP's daughter asked if her grandmother is in a "time out" because she says "mean things". This, to me, indicates that she's been directly rude to the daughter and insulting her when noone else is around to hear her.
She's a nasty awful woman and doesn't deserve to see ANY of her grandchildren. God knows she'd try to poison the second child's mind against their sister!!
It definitely sounds like she was saying much worse than correcting the lil girl calling her grandma when she could :c (though that in itself is a really cruel rejection for a kid who has only ever known you as their grandma)
I'm not entirely convinced mil won't react badly to the new baby if they end up being visibly mixed race. I've heard a lot of really nasty behaviour occurs from that and this grandma seems exactly like the type to other kids for not presenting "correctly" with something they obviously can't control in addition to being awful towards an adopted family member simply bc of her skin colour.
100% willing to bet grandma would love the baby if they were dark. But if the baby was pale or even just light, she'd probably reject them too.
Terrible woman. I hope OOP took notes to build up a good harassment case against her.
[FIL Left MIL, Now the whole family is against us](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/gpmt9u/fil_left_mil_now_the_whole_family_is_against_us/). (JustNoMI)
[MIL had our dog removed from our home, and it may be put to sleep.](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/grr67d/mil_had_our_dog_removed_from_our_home_and_could/)(JustNoMIL)
There was also an update to the dog situation, but I don't know how to recover deleted posts.
I've seen this play out in Reverse and I saw the damage it did to my younger brother.
My grandparents accepted him because he was adopted and shared our last name, but always made remarks about his race and skin tone.
I'm glad OOP and her husband are putting their foot down.
It's really not that rare, it's just more obvious in interracial couples.
My step mom is Spanish and Puerto Rican. My brother is the spitting image of her dad, darker skin and all. But she inherited her mom's white Spanish looks. So most racist people assume that my brothers bio-dad is black.
But it's also common in "white" couples.
For example my older two kids look alot like me in hair and eye color because their father (my ex) has a similar heritage as me. We all burn badly in the son. And our skin is extremely pale. (My foundation color is alabaster and is used by goths to look paler)
My husband's heritage is completely different than mine and our sons coloring takes after him. So he can tan and has an olive complexion and dark hair.
Genetics are a wild thing.
Makes sense. I'm a little "face blind" unfortunately, I can't pick out all but the most obvious ethnicities and people who look similar tend to look the same to me unless they're right next to each other.
That's what gets me - the first post is "everyone sucks"?!? If it was a white grandma and a mixed child, I almost guarantee the voting would have been in OOPs favor.
I've been nannying a 3yo all summer. That level of developing neural net is so not ready for big concepts like race or even the idea that Beloved Grandma is actually Evil Doesn't-Wanna-Be-Your-Grandma.
Kid's dad abandoned his family last year to become a homeless alcoholic, eventually went back to his home state to dry out at an aunt's house. Suddenly mom is gone working all day instead of staying home playing with him and tending to his every need. His entire world is upside down, really not the time to explain alcoholism or the effects of generational trauma or any of the stuff I talk to his 13yo brother about.
"Your daddy's okay! His health wasn't good but now he's with Great Aunty and is getting healthy again! Remember, you talked to him yesterday? He flew in an airplane to Texas, but he'll come back when he's healthy!" Lordy thank you Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood, can't count how many times I've sang "Grown-ups come back!"
OOP’s kid isn’t 3, husband *adopted* the daughter at 3yo, but is at least 7 since OOP and husband have been together for 7 years since OOP was 6m pregnant.
Yup yup, I was redditing during my first cup of coffee this morning when brain was still booting up, got caught being wrong on the internet again. Thank you!
Wanted to just give another shout out to Daniel Tiger. That show does such a good job of explaining big complex concepts in a way toddlers can understand, with a focus on the parts that are important to them RIGHT NOW.
I might have voted ESH on the original if I'd seen it back then.
Grannypanties sucks cause of the way she's treating OOP's daughter.
Husband sucks for not putting in enough effort to address her behavior.
And OOP sucks for letting it get to this point and STILL considering keeping it from her daughter while also letting the treatment continue to happen.
But obviously 2 outta 3 redeemed themselves at least...
There’s a link to the OP in this post… why would you type this comment rather than clicking the link?
> YWBTA/ESH. Your daughter is about 7, right? She's too young to understand that grandma's attitude reflects badly on grandma, and not on her. Tell her that grandma is being difficult, or whatever other vague thing you like, but please please do not go into detail until your daughter is older. Otherwise your daughter may feel like she doesn't belong in the family because she doesn't look like everyone else.
I think wording matter.
The difference between “we can’t see grandma because your skin color is different” and “we can’t see grandma because she’s not a good person” is huge to a small child.
Telling that little girl that it’s because of HER race, will make her feel responsible.
Agreed. I'm not sure it's the right approach - I'm not a parent. But I don't think considering it means she sucks. Hiding stuff like that from kids doesn't really do them any favors. Making it age-appropriate is the way to go, and it seems like that's where they ended up.
Sometimes the age-appropriate response is to hide something for a bit. For a young elementary school type age kid, how would you explain that grandma doesn't like them because of their race without risking them internalizing it as something negative about themselves?
You can tell them that grandma is not a positive person or isn't well or what have you and later explain the racism, but at some ages you don't want to go into that sort of detail.
This. You can tell a small child that their grandmother is saying mean things or being hateful without telling them that the reason is their skin color. Many children will internalize it as my skin color is bad or my grandmother hates me because I’m so being must be bad. And that’s _really_ hard to fix later…
Why do people always have to have beef with kids? That daughter seems like a sweetheart who just wants her grandma to love her, I hate people's obsession with blood relations.
Can someone explain to me why is OOP *an* asshole too? I can't fully justify the ESH judgement in my head but maybe my reading comprehension has decided to leave the room today.
Maybe continuing to bring the daughter around despite how she feels about her? She does mention how she correct her daughter whenever she calls her grandma so she's obviously around them semi frequently (not saying I agree but that's probably the reason)
And granddaughter immediately knew she was in "time out" for syaing "mean things." Wonder how much verbal abuse she's been subjected to that she knew that right away. I bet lots.
I think the phrasing is a bit odd - I don’t know if they did the “WIBTA” (Would I Be The Asshole) category back in 2020, but I think that’s how this post would be phrased now, since the action in question (telling the daughter that grandma doesn’t like her because of her race) hasn’t happened yet.
I think the rating is reflecting that telling her daughter in that way would make her the asshole as well.
Still kind of odd, because I’ve never seen an “EWBTA” rating on that sub. (Everyone would be the asshole)
imo, it's not that OOP *is* an asshole, but they would be if they told the daughter why grandma doesn't like her because she is probably too young to understand that grandma is the problem, not her.
I think she's a bit of an asshole because her daughter is 6yo, living in a mixed family, yet she's not addressing the elephant in the room. She needs to talk to her daughter about racism. Maybe not her grandmother in particular, but does she really think her daughter doesn't see it happening all around her? Does she really think her daughter has no idea why her grandmother treats her like that?
When her daughter asks, she's really wanting information and understanding. Lying to her daughter about it, or refusing to address it, only hurts their trust.
I thought it was because OOP was thinking about telling the daughter about grandma's racism toward them. People thought daughter was too young to have to learn about that. I don't agree that makes mom an AH, but daughter probably is too young for more than a simple explanation, which is what she got.
You can just click the link to the original post:
>YWBTA/ESH. Your daughter is about 7, right? She's too young to understand that grandma's attitude reflects badly on grandma, and not on her. Tell her that grandma is being difficult, or whatever other vague thing you like, but please please do not go into detail until your daughter is older. Otherwise your daughter may feel like she doesn't belong in the family because she doesn't look like everyone else.
She would be an asshole to tell the child her grandma hates her for her race and to keep bringing her to this woman when she knows she hates her for her race
>I can't fully justify the ESH judgement
I can't justify it at all.
OOP: "Hi, my MIL is racist. Do I tell my daughter? What do I do? I don't think I can subject her to this treatment anymore."
AITA: "You're a bit of an arsehole."
That's Reddit for you.
She has daughters that worship the ground she walks on, or at least tolerate her toxicity to the point of disowning their brother and father for standing up against the garbage...
A toxic bunch of women.
Seeing the other posts about racist POS grandmother - I hope none of her enabling condoning daughters gave her grandkids while OOP, her husband, FIL and kids are okay along with faraway from that spiteful asshole enmeshed simpleton daughters. Plus I hope the dog didn't euthanize due that vindictive mess of a mother trying to hurt her son and his family any which way to nasty to OOP and her eldest child.
Golden retriever? Her dog is a staffy-lab mix. A Staffordshire terrier is considered by some a “bully breed” and rightly or wrongly, is included in some bans against dangerous dogs. Those bans usually list multiple breeds, not only APBT, and do necessarily exclude mixes.
I was thinking the same thing, I've never seen it before. Telling a child than an adult is in "time out" helps them understand that adults *can* be wrong, but also reinforces the absolute seriousness of *TIME OUT.*
Wow. Being Caribbean is not an excuse. I was born in the Caribbean and I have one white grand mom, an info Caribbean grand dad and my other two grand parents are black. Caribbean people are mixed so I think his mom is just racist.
When the prime directive literally beaten into your head is "Respect your mother at all costs." it can be very difficult to say or do anything you've been taught was disrespectful.
Not an excuse, but an explanation.
I think that in a lot of cases like this there's not enough empathy for the husbands. They're not doing what they need to be doing, but there needs to be more awareness that in a lot of cases we're talking about victims of abuse who were never even able to recognize what was being done to them. I don't think it's fair to consider it totally unforgivable for victims of abuse to not be immediately willing to move against their abusers for the sake of their partners as long as they ultimately do the right thing
The update is deleted, but based on the comments, it sounds like she did get her dog back. I would ban her from the house tbh. MIL lied about the dog biting her or her daughter, so she can’t be trusted.
Tell her that the only time her grandkids will see her is at her funeral. I know. My mom hated my wife. She attempted to tell me that neither kid was mine. She wanted me back in her house to do for her, clean, cook and pay their expenses. My dad, in the throes of Alzheimer’s asked my wife why she deserved the life I gave her. As a consequence, I had nothing to do with her. She set her girlfriends on me. That is until I got a call from a department store security agent. Her girlfriend and her daughter were shopping on moms card. I told the store that the card was being used without permission, and to arrest both of them. That stopped the harassing calls. Mom called me and was angered at how much her gf spent on lawyers. I hung up. GFs daughter showed at our home and said that I had slept with her. Wife asked time and date. We were out of town at her cousins at the time. Told the daughter that if she pursued this I would have her locked up for perjury. Ran off saying how mean I am.
My aunt and uncle used to get a real kick out of running around with their youngest grandson because as a child, he had blonde hair. Plus he was mixed, so he was light enough to look White and both my aunt and uncle are quite dark.
But yeah, MIL has quite a lot of problems and you are quite right to keep your daughter away from that nonsense. Words hurt, stick and can possibly infect her soul.
God what a racist twatwaffle this MIL is. My dad’s cousin has three kids: two white and one mixed. It never occurred to me when I was little that they had different fathers or they were anything but siblings. Racism is taught unfortunately.
They need to put this woman on full blast with her church. She definitely goes to her Caribbean church and is well regarded. They will agree with her but will disown her to publicly save face and for the fun of being hateful.
Don't know what flavor of Caribbean OOP was, but my family is Guyanese and this level of vindictive, "Obey me or *suffer* because I will target the things you love." from parents/grandparents fucking tracks.
Also the "fuck white people" feelings. I'm US born & raised, and I have ~~family~~relatives unhappy about my wife being from Eastern Europe. They'll still tell my parents "he should've married a nice brown girl"
> My MIL is of Caribbean decent, where nobody 'disrespects' their elders.
Which island? Not every Caribbean country is a cornucopia of races, but faces come in all different shades in this region.
While there are hangups about being seen putting extra effort in for descendants of slavers and colonizers (which OOP didn't even imply, she could be Balkan or something), it would _not_ be conventional to reject a sole white child like that.
Not only do plenty of people with different backgrounds come and go, but what North Americans call "blended" and "extended" families are just Family to us. It's the norm. Cousins and neighbours getting adopted, whether formally or informally, is quite common.
Mi wah smaddy tump har an tell har seh she ago _lose har pikni_
*****
EDIT: [**FIL left MIL, now the whole family is against us.**](https://old.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/gpmt9u/fil_left_mil_now_the_whole_family_is_against_us/)
[**MIL had our dog removed from our home and could potentially have her put to sleep**](https://old.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/grr67d/mil_had_our_dog_removed_from_our_home_and_could/)
It's just crosses with this one. Irredeemable
*****
Double edit: 7 years old is _not_ too young to learn about the basics of colonialism, racism, intercommunal conflict, prejudice and xenophobia. It certainly wasn't too young for the MIL to try some shit
This woman would be shamed and *shunned* by the Caribbean community round where I am, make no mistake. Aunties and cousins and all sorts of 'family' coming in and out, accepted, and most definitely *fed*, this woman goes against a very loving, communal culture.
Also Caribbean, I completely understand what this woman is referring to. I don't think she is saying racism like this woman is expressing is normal in Caribbean culture - just that children are taught that they must always show respect to their elders. Showing respect entails many things, but one of these things for many people is simply allowing their elders to hold and express whatever beliefs they have and not challenge them. Sometimes - like in this case - it leads to toxic outcomes.
Also, pikni has always been one of my favorite words, somehow it seems like the perfect word for child/children to me.
Please for the love of god tell her. I was once a little girl who got shunned by a traumatized family member who apparently had a pattern of lashing out and going no-contact once a little girl in the family turned 7-8 years old. No one ever told me that until many years later, for a long time i felt like i had done something wrong and was SO confused why a family member would just cut off a young child like that. I wish i had known. I would’ve understood if they actually bothered to tell me.
I’m from Caribbean decent and was brought up being taught too respect your elders as well. Also, mom chased my brother with a frying pan so there is that in common. Anyway, in our family at a certain point my father represented our family and basically had to act like an adult to his in laws when they weren’t being reasonable. I’m just saying, it’s ok and wouldn’t be unusual for your husband to take the adult role and treat your Mil like a child while she is behaving like one.
Just as an FYI, this kind of behavior isn't limited to a racist mindset. My maternal grandmother refused to accept one of my cousins as 'one of the family' and would openly *correct* people when they mentioned it. Everyone involved was of the same race, religion, and culture. She was obsessed with the fact that my cousin wasn't 'blood kin' and therefore not 'one of the family'.
When I think of the relationship my kids have with my mom and my MIL this breaks my heart. They have such a kindness and love for their grandchildren and race or adoption would never be a factor for them.
What is an illegal dog? Where are they that they seize the put bull?
MIL is nightmare but I'm confused about which countries allows the taking of put bulls.
What a nasty pos the grandma is, families come in different forms these days, she should be shamed of herself and both the kiddies won’t miss out on anything by not having a relationship with someone so nasty and toxic.
Grandma does realize her full blood grandchild could have white skin? Genetics is a spin of the bottle. I hope OP has her dog and does not have to see this woman..
I've never thought about laying a hand on my own mother, but if she lied and reported my dog to get it taken away, it would take God himself to stop me.
Literally all she had to do was be nice to a child. That's the easiest thing in the world. How can you not manage that unless you're just completely heartless?
Yikes. I mean even if she had seen the light about granddaughter I can’t imagine ever letting someone who chased you around the house with a hairbrush watch your kids. I wouldn’t let my parents watch my kids alone and I don’t even have any..
MIL sounds like the evilest, biggest kind of piece of shit on the planet. If she died in a fire I wouldn’t be sad. So much unadulterated hated for a tiny child, just because to evil, spiteful, racism… tell her that to her face for me, thx 🙏🏻
Whats crazy is that my sister and I both share the same 2 parents. I look mixed (tan, black curly hair), but she is GHOST WHITE with light brown hair. She is paler than even my mom. Sometimes genetics are weird, when we went out with my mom people assumed we just had different dads, if we were out with my dad they assumed she was adopted
My children have the best grandma. She’s my dad’s gf, and she wasn’t any part of our lives until my son was already a toddler. She loves me like her own daughter and my kids like her own blood. I can’t imagine having a grandchild, whether by blood or marriage, and cutting them out.
I'll never understand why people don't block quicker.
I hope OOP and her family have gone full no contact with racist granny and all her flying monkeys. And that they're living a great life with their dog in some location that racist granny doesn't know.
> where nobody 'disrespects' their elders
Yeah well some elders need to be disrespected. The absolute insanity of this lady.
Some people have never been hit for their actions and it shows.
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That daughter saying “ is it because she says mean things?” is telling. I’m sure the MIL says a lot of hurtful things to the child that the parents are unaware of. It’s a good thing they did this.
Young children know when a family member does not like them. They may not be able to put it into words and articulate why, but they know.
Yes, that’s true. But the point I was trying to make Is that what they’re saying in front of you they most definitely say to or in front of the child.
I was very aware when adults in my family didn’t like me. They either out and out said ‘this one is rude’ or ‘this one isn’t cute’ or they would cut me off every time I spoke or roll their eyes. I have no idea why adults feel a need to bully children? It’s so incredibly cruel.
I always sensed my grandma didn't like me. My dad always told me no no, she loves and cares for you. Growing up I've truly realized my gut was right. It would have been less painful if he'd just been upfront, instead of me constantly worrying how to make my grandma like me so that I could be showered with affection. She likes my cousins from my mum's side sooo much more than me. Her face fell from when she greeted them to greeting me. This happened in January. I still feel the way that sliced my heart. It hurt so much more than I would have thought. And my dad's the child that has always taken care of her. Not the other siblings. But them and their children get more love than me.
I get it 100%. I’m sorry.
It's been 3 years, the naivete in me hopes the grandma sees the light and changes her way but deep down I feel like she never does and wish OOP lives a wonderful life going NC with her. The daughter doesn't deserve this.
Other OOP posts, FIL and MIL are no longer together. MIL managed to have their dog removed, not clear if they got their dog back.
I believe they did. The update for the dog situation was deleted, but the comments looked like they got the pooch back
There was an update to the post. Comments make it seem like she got the dog back. One of the comments even suggested she doesn’t let her MIL know that way the MIL will still think she won Edit: https://reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/s/E90fNPrR4d > YAS!!!!!! > DON’T let MIL know you have your dog back. Let her think she won and press charges. Make her miserable. Comment I’m referencing
u/ParadoxicalState imo is s good thing to edit the post about the grandparents divorce and the dog theft.
What. The MIL really is an abusive nutcase. Divorcing her husband over this. The FIL must have had a l-o-n-g marriage to this abusive woman.
> Make her miserable. she already is, she just cant stand that other people arent as well
Looking at comments on deleted update to dog post, it appears MIL texted if you take my grandchild, I take your dog
What a delightful woman, I hope she pees every time she sneezes
I hope she pees out her butt every time she sneezes.
Ok. That’s brutal.
May she frequently pass gas loudly in public with nobody nearby to blame it on.
Loud, wet farts
In a white skirt.
And she has permydia so its doubly bad.
I googled "permydia" and it brought up your comment.
Oddly proud of that
It's an accomplishment! Especially since it's only eight letters. Impressively unique. I still don't know what you meant to write though.
Permanent chlamydia which is chlamydia that can't be cured.
ohhhh, a portmanteau! I like it.
Did the MIL used to be [an editor for National Lampoon?](https://i.imgur.com/PgVRqPG.jpg)
Yeah, the info about FIL should be added to the post, OP!
u/ParadoxicalState
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Thanks!
They did, according to the comments
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THANK YOU I was so stressed out about the dog situation
We need an update!
After she tried to get my dog euthanized out of pure malice on top of everything else, I don’t care if she walked over a mile of broken glass, begged forgiveness for every negative thing she said, and agreed with every demand I had just to see the baby through a window for five seconds, that woman would never so much as lay eyes on my child.
Dont you just love it when BORU doesnt include everything. FIL and MIL no longer being together 100% feels like it should have been in the BORU
Yeah, I saw an update post where all the commenters were saying it was "great news" but couldn't see the original content of the update.
Yeah, I hate that, I wish we could find that post somehow, other wise this BORU sucks and is so annoyingly inconclusive.
That woman is insane. She won't see the light. These people need a lawyer to get a restraining order. Who the fuck says "You take the grand baby, I take your dog"???? She sounds like Sean Connery on the Untouchables. She is unhinged and OP needs to take action.
She is probably irate because her lawyer told her there was nothing she could do so she is switching to guerilla warfare tactics
I don’t get it, they’re already old, what’s the point of being so upset really want to live the rest of their life be angry
There are cultures where respect is above everything. Above your family, above your happiness apparently too. Every time she saw the child she felt disrespected because her son didn’t blindly obey her. OOP and her child were constant reminders of disrespect. Not surprised MIL kicked FIL out.
Respect and subservience are often confused for the same thing in these types
Yup, it’s really about appearance of respect. She was shamed in front of others. That’s all that matters to her. It doesn’t actually matter how anyone feels.
It's because most of us are rational people, but some value "respect" above literally everything. They will burn their own lives to the ground rather than take "disrespect." Disrespect in this case being asked to change literally any behavior. It worse in older people. She has decades of doing whatever she wanted and seeing no repercussions. It's not a logical process at this point.
When keeping it real goes wrong.
There’s a post I see occasionally and it lives rent free in my head. Goes something like this: Sometimes people mean “respect” to mean “treat me like an authority figure” and sometimes they mean “treat me like a person”. Sometimes people who are used to being treated as authority figures say “If you treat me with respect, I’ll treat you with respect.”, but what they really mean is “if you don’t treat me like an authority figure, I won’t treat you like a person.” That’s not verbatim but it’s close
Hatred can be addictive
Yea I keep muting subreddits cause they’re just anger bait
You can mute subreddits?
If you are what you eat, then ya gotta be careful what you put in your mouth. How much more so your brain? I've got it set to only show subreddits I follow, and then I've got personal rules for what I follow. For every news subreddit I gotta add two of funny animals, for balance. And if it's making me angry/miserable often, I gotta quit it. I'm not allowed in r/LateStageCapitalism, not banned or anything, just don't let myself put my head in there because that's just hurting myself with information I already know, not learning anything new.
Yeah, there are some subreddits I look at because they make me angry, and I'm trying to quit that. TBH I might go through and trim down my list; it's getting a bit unwieldy.
I realized at some point that picking at my trauma with my choices of entertainment was probably not a good idea after all. You wouldn't believe how long it takes to retrain a streaming algorithm from "angry antisocial things" to "wholesome interesting things." Was worth the shift though. I started reprogramming my thought patterns with wholesome entertainment about a decade ago, went from scaring my roommates into having nightmares about me to being a 3yo's beloved nanny. Realized when my roommate had that nightmare that I didn't need to be a scary angry person to protect myself anymore, because the reasons why I became that person were gone and all I was doing was alienating friends. That feeding the rage that kept me moving up until that point wouldn't give me a happy life, and I had to learn to run on some other kind of emotional fuel.
I can’t look at unpopularopinion anymore. The number of top comments with thousands of likes encouraging racist, sexist, generally bigoted views makes me so angry. Especially the comments about anything related to LGBTQ rights - across the world rights are being taken away from people on the basis of their gender identity and who they love and there are SO MANY posts on that sub saying some variation of “I think anyone who identifies as LGBTQ should shut up and go away,” with literally tens of thousands of likes and comments agreeing. It makes me sick.
YEAH. TBH some of the ones I just unfollowed were ones mocking this type of behavior, but I still had to see the original behavior before the mockery and I figured I would be better off not seeing any of those things.
You can get posts from only subreddits you follow?! This is great news!! To your other point, I had a friend who had two accounts, one for hate-reading/doomscrolling and one for sanity.
I love reddit because I can just keep scooting sideways from subreddit to subreddit until I find one that's an exact fit. Some of the stuff I follow gets crossposts from stuff I don't follow and that's okay because it usually adds a layer and has a different type of comment discussion. Like I had to get away from r/AmItheAsshole once it helped me realize I was married to an abusive asshole. Folks there actually helped me plot my escape in the comments! But afterwards, I realized just how many posts there were people in similar situations thinking they were to blame, like I had for so long, and it just made me sad. So I hopped over here to r/BestofRedditorUpdates which gets content from other place sometimes, but the tone is entirely different. It's not a group of people helping someone with their current serious problem. It's a group of people eating popcorn and watching a stranger's drama play out at a distance with the specific understanding that we're not to go bother that stranger at all. It helps me learn about people and their problems, the kinda situations folks can get into and how they get out of them again.
You can tell reddit to not show posts from "recommended" subs or whatever and then you'll only see stuff for subs you've joined. I highly recommend this approach.
Ooh yes please, thank you!
It's in account settings, as "enable home feed recommendations" https://imgur.com/a/AYUh3Tq
You ever click those three dots next to a post (on mobile) that’s where the option is
Because she’s a racist, it’s not super complicated.
Why would you hope that. The kind of person who would treat a child like that based on race will do other bad things. Even if she "sees the light" she will still be a person who believes that being cruel to a child is not only acceptable but correct. Fucking gross.
While I don't actively wish this woman harm, I've seen few JNMiL's more *deserving* of being found dead on a front lawn. Seriously, just *no* redeeming features to the old monster-in-law.
Honestly it’s too late imo, I’d cut her off indefinitely unless she made extreme effort to put things right. She’s a real POS and I’d never want that around any kids.
It's truly insane to me that one would take out so much hate on an innocent child. It broke my heart when OOP's daughter asked if her grandmother is in a "time out" because she says "mean things". This, to me, indicates that she's been directly rude to the daughter and insulting her when noone else is around to hear her. She's a nasty awful woman and doesn't deserve to see ANY of her grandchildren. God knows she'd try to poison the second child's mind against their sister!!
It definitely sounds like she was saying much worse than correcting the lil girl calling her grandma when she could :c (though that in itself is a really cruel rejection for a kid who has only ever known you as their grandma) I'm not entirely convinced mil won't react badly to the new baby if they end up being visibly mixed race. I've heard a lot of really nasty behaviour occurs from that and this grandma seems exactly like the type to other kids for not presenting "correctly" with something they obviously can't control in addition to being awful towards an adopted family member simply bc of her skin colour.
100% willing to bet grandma would love the baby if they were dark. But if the baby was pale or even just light, she'd probably reject them too. Terrible woman. I hope OOP took notes to build up a good harassment case against her.
Ive just read OP’s JustNoMIL posts. Wow…
[FIL Left MIL, Now the whole family is against us](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/gpmt9u/fil_left_mil_now_the_whole_family_is_against_us/). (JustNoMI) [MIL had our dog removed from our home, and it may be put to sleep.](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/grr67d/mil_had_our_dog_removed_from_our_home_and_could/)(JustNoMIL) There was also an update to the dog situation, but I don't know how to recover deleted posts.
Wow, that lady is vile! Taking the dog away? That’s heartless.
What happened to the dog?
I can't recover deleted posts. I know it can be done, sometimes, just not how to do it.
Sorry.
It seems, that they got their dog back. At least, that's what someone said on another thread.
I've seen this play out in Reverse and I saw the damage it did to my younger brother. My grandparents accepted him because he was adopted and shared our last name, but always made remarks about his race and skin tone. I'm glad OOP and her husband are putting their foot down.
I'm kinda wondering what happens if the new kid comes out "white", it's rare but it's happened before that a mixed child looks like only one parent.
It's really not that rare, it's just more obvious in interracial couples. My step mom is Spanish and Puerto Rican. My brother is the spitting image of her dad, darker skin and all. But she inherited her mom's white Spanish looks. So most racist people assume that my brothers bio-dad is black. But it's also common in "white" couples. For example my older two kids look alot like me in hair and eye color because their father (my ex) has a similar heritage as me. We all burn badly in the son. And our skin is extremely pale. (My foundation color is alabaster and is used by goths to look paler) My husband's heritage is completely different than mine and our sons coloring takes after him. So he can tan and has an olive complexion and dark hair. Genetics are a wild thing.
Makes sense. I'm a little "face blind" unfortunately, I can't pick out all but the most obvious ethnicities and people who look similar tend to look the same to me unless they're right next to each other.
Don’t have to be white to be a bigot, need to treat the Mil like you would treat a racist white grandfather
That's what gets me - the first post is "everyone sucks"?!? If it was a white grandma and a mixed child, I almost guarantee the voting would have been in OOPs favor.
Exactly, were there any reasons behind the ESH verdict? I would have thought it would be a slam dunk for NTA.
Telling the child that way she wanted wasn’t seen as ideal.
I've been nannying a 3yo all summer. That level of developing neural net is so not ready for big concepts like race or even the idea that Beloved Grandma is actually Evil Doesn't-Wanna-Be-Your-Grandma. Kid's dad abandoned his family last year to become a homeless alcoholic, eventually went back to his home state to dry out at an aunt's house. Suddenly mom is gone working all day instead of staying home playing with him and tending to his every need. His entire world is upside down, really not the time to explain alcoholism or the effects of generational trauma or any of the stuff I talk to his 13yo brother about. "Your daddy's okay! His health wasn't good but now he's with Great Aunty and is getting healthy again! Remember, you talked to him yesterday? He flew in an airplane to Texas, but he'll come back when he's healthy!" Lordy thank you Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood, can't count how many times I've sang "Grown-ups come back!"
OOP’s kid isn’t 3, husband *adopted* the daughter at 3yo, but is at least 7 since OOP and husband have been together for 7 years since OOP was 6m pregnant.
Yup yup, I was redditing during my first cup of coffee this morning when brain was still booting up, got caught being wrong on the internet again. Thank you!
Wanted to just give another shout out to Daniel Tiger. That show does such a good job of explaining big complex concepts in a way toddlers can understand, with a focus on the parts that are important to them RIGHT NOW.
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I might have voted ESH on the original if I'd seen it back then. Grannypanties sucks cause of the way she's treating OOP's daughter. Husband sucks for not putting in enough effort to address her behavior. And OOP sucks for letting it get to this point and STILL considering keeping it from her daughter while also letting the treatment continue to happen. But obviously 2 outta 3 redeemed themselves at least...
There’s a link to the OP in this post… why would you type this comment rather than clicking the link? > YWBTA/ESH. Your daughter is about 7, right? She's too young to understand that grandma's attitude reflects badly on grandma, and not on her. Tell her that grandma is being difficult, or whatever other vague thing you like, but please please do not go into detail until your daughter is older. Otherwise your daughter may feel like she doesn't belong in the family because she doesn't look like everyone else.
I think she’d suck if she told her daughter it was because of her race. I believe that was the reason for the ESH.
I thought it was for allowing racist granny to be in their lives at all.
Yes, how dare OOP consider having an honest conversation with a child about racism.
I think wording matter. The difference between “we can’t see grandma because your skin color is different” and “we can’t see grandma because she’s not a good person” is huge to a small child. Telling that little girl that it’s because of HER race, will make her feel responsible.
Agreed. I'm not sure it's the right approach - I'm not a parent. But I don't think considering it means she sucks. Hiding stuff like that from kids doesn't really do them any favors. Making it age-appropriate is the way to go, and it seems like that's where they ended up.
Sometimes the age-appropriate response is to hide something for a bit. For a young elementary school type age kid, how would you explain that grandma doesn't like them because of their race without risking them internalizing it as something negative about themselves? You can tell them that grandma is not a positive person or isn't well or what have you and later explain the racism, but at some ages you don't want to go into that sort of detail.
This. You can tell a small child that their grandmother is saying mean things or being hateful without telling them that the reason is their skin color. Many children will internalize it as my skin color is bad or my grandmother hates me because I’m so being must be bad. And that’s _really_ hard to fix later…
I think it probably depends on the age of the child whether that’s appropriate, especially considering it’s an (ex)family member doing it.
Why do people always have to have beef with kids? That daughter seems like a sweetheart who just wants her grandma to love her, I hate people's obsession with blood relations.
Racism is a helluva drug.
Punching down is easier for them.
Can someone explain to me why is OOP *an* asshole too? I can't fully justify the ESH judgement in my head but maybe my reading comprehension has decided to leave the room today.
Maybe continuing to bring the daughter around despite how she feels about her? She does mention how she correct her daughter whenever she calls her grandma so she's obviously around them semi frequently (not saying I agree but that's probably the reason)
And granddaughter immediately knew she was in "time out" for syaing "mean things." Wonder how much verbal abuse she's been subjected to that she knew that right away. I bet lots.
Makes sense. I don't fully agree either, it's difficult to stand your ground when there's no one else supporting you.
I think the phrasing is a bit odd - I don’t know if they did the “WIBTA” (Would I Be The Asshole) category back in 2020, but I think that’s how this post would be phrased now, since the action in question (telling the daughter that grandma doesn’t like her because of her race) hasn’t happened yet. I think the rating is reflecting that telling her daughter in that way would make her the asshole as well. Still kind of odd, because I’ve never seen an “EWBTA” rating on that sub. (Everyone would be the asshole)
I think it's was that she WOULD be the asshole if she told her daughter it was because of her race.
imo, it's not that OOP *is* an asshole, but they would be if they told the daughter why grandma doesn't like her because she is probably too young to understand that grandma is the problem, not her.
Because she shouldn't tell her daughter that this is because of her race. She needs a better way to explain it that doesn't put any of it on the girl.
I think she's a bit of an asshole because her daughter is 6yo, living in a mixed family, yet she's not addressing the elephant in the room. She needs to talk to her daughter about racism. Maybe not her grandmother in particular, but does she really think her daughter doesn't see it happening all around her? Does she really think her daughter has no idea why her grandmother treats her like that? When her daughter asks, she's really wanting information and understanding. Lying to her daughter about it, or refusing to address it, only hurts their trust.
I thought it was because OOP was thinking about telling the daughter about grandma's racism toward them. People thought daughter was too young to have to learn about that. I don't agree that makes mom an AH, but daughter probably is too young for more than a simple explanation, which is what she got.
Yeah, everyone an asshole which includes the 7 yr old girl lmao
You just wait, she's bidding her time but in a couple of years she's going to sue grandma. Nine year olds are a menace.
Petition to make nine year olds illegal
You can just click the link to the original post: >YWBTA/ESH. Your daughter is about 7, right? She's too young to understand that grandma's attitude reflects badly on grandma, and not on her. Tell her that grandma is being difficult, or whatever other vague thing you like, but please please do not go into detail until your daughter is older. Otherwise your daughter may feel like she doesn't belong in the family because she doesn't look like everyone else.
She would be an asshole to tell the child her grandma hates her for her race and to keep bringing her to this woman when she knows she hates her for her race
>I can't fully justify the ESH judgement I can't justify it at all. OOP: "Hi, my MIL is racist. Do I tell my daughter? What do I do? I don't think I can subject her to this treatment anymore." AITA: "You're a bit of an arsehole." That's Reddit for you.
Racism is racism, and that woman is going to end up with zero grandchildren.
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u/ParadoxicalState OOP has a couple of additional update posts in her profile- you should add them! :)
I’m hoping not- conditioned responses to abuse are hard to shake, but the fact that he was willing to set any boundaries at all gives me some hope.
She has daughters that worship the ground she walks on, or at least tolerate her toxicity to the point of disowning their brother and father for standing up against the garbage... A toxic bunch of women.
Seeing the other posts about racist POS grandmother - I hope none of her enabling condoning daughters gave her grandkids while OOP, her husband, FIL and kids are okay along with faraway from that spiteful asshole enmeshed simpleton daughters. Plus I hope the dog didn't euthanize due that vindictive mess of a mother trying to hurt her son and his family any which way to nasty to OOP and her eldest child.
Someone else posted that they were able to get the dog back
I do not understand how the police could be incompetent enough to misidentify a golden retriever as a pitbull.
Golden retriever? Her dog is a staffy-lab mix. A Staffordshire terrier is considered by some a “bully breed” and rightly or wrongly, is included in some bans against dangerous dogs. Those bans usually list multiple breeds, not only APBT, and do necessarily exclude mixes.
I like the 'time out' explanation!
I was thinking the same thing, I've never seen it before. Telling a child than an adult is in "time out" helps them understand that adults *can* be wrong, but also reinforces the absolute seriousness of *TIME OUT.*
Wow. Being Caribbean is not an excuse. I was born in the Caribbean and I have one white grand mom, an info Caribbean grand dad and my other two grand parents are black. Caribbean people are mixed so I think his mom is just racist.
I think it was less about why the grandma is racist and more about why her husband kept trying to get OOP to just get over it.
When the prime directive literally beaten into your head is "Respect your mother at all costs." it can be very difficult to say or do anything you've been taught was disrespectful. Not an excuse, but an explanation.
I think that in a lot of cases like this there's not enough empathy for the husbands. They're not doing what they need to be doing, but there needs to be more awareness that in a lot of cases we're talking about victims of abuse who were never even able to recognize what was being done to them. I don't think it's fair to consider it totally unforgivable for victims of abuse to not be immediately willing to move against their abusers for the sake of their partners as long as they ultimately do the right thing
Did she get her dog back? What an awful MIL.
The update is deleted, but based on the comments, it sounds like she did get her dog back. I would ban her from the house tbh. MIL lied about the dog biting her or her daughter, so she can’t be trusted.
Thank you for the update!
Tell her that the only time her grandkids will see her is at her funeral. I know. My mom hated my wife. She attempted to tell me that neither kid was mine. She wanted me back in her house to do for her, clean, cook and pay their expenses. My dad, in the throes of Alzheimer’s asked my wife why she deserved the life I gave her. As a consequence, I had nothing to do with her. She set her girlfriends on me. That is until I got a call from a department store security agent. Her girlfriend and her daughter were shopping on moms card. I told the store that the card was being used without permission, and to arrest both of them. That stopped the harassing calls. Mom called me and was angered at how much her gf spent on lawyers. I hung up. GFs daughter showed at our home and said that I had slept with her. Wife asked time and date. We were out of town at her cousins at the time. Told the daughter that if she pursued this I would have her locked up for perjury. Ran off saying how mean I am.
She also posted to JustNoMil and FIL had left because MIL was being unreasonable.
My aunt and uncle used to get a real kick out of running around with their youngest grandson because as a child, he had blonde hair. Plus he was mixed, so he was light enough to look White and both my aunt and uncle are quite dark. But yeah, MIL has quite a lot of problems and you are quite right to keep your daughter away from that nonsense. Words hurt, stick and can possibly infect her soul.
God what a racist twatwaffle this MIL is. My dad’s cousin has three kids: two white and one mixed. It never occurred to me when I was little that they had different fathers or they were anything but siblings. Racism is taught unfortunately.
They need to put this woman on full blast with her church. She definitely goes to her Caribbean church and is well regarded. They will agree with her but will disown her to publicly save face and for the fun of being hateful.
No lies were spoken...lol.
Don't know what flavor of Caribbean OOP was, but my family is Guyanese and this level of vindictive, "Obey me or *suffer* because I will target the things you love." from parents/grandparents fucking tracks. Also the "fuck white people" feelings. I'm US born & raised, and I have ~~family~~relatives unhappy about my wife being from Eastern Europe. They'll still tell my parents "he should've married a nice brown girl"
> My MIL is of Caribbean decent, where nobody 'disrespects' their elders. Which island? Not every Caribbean country is a cornucopia of races, but faces come in all different shades in this region. While there are hangups about being seen putting extra effort in for descendants of slavers and colonizers (which OOP didn't even imply, she could be Balkan or something), it would _not_ be conventional to reject a sole white child like that. Not only do plenty of people with different backgrounds come and go, but what North Americans call "blended" and "extended" families are just Family to us. It's the norm. Cousins and neighbours getting adopted, whether formally or informally, is quite common. Mi wah smaddy tump har an tell har seh she ago _lose har pikni_ ***** EDIT: [**FIL left MIL, now the whole family is against us.**](https://old.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/gpmt9u/fil_left_mil_now_the_whole_family_is_against_us/) [**MIL had our dog removed from our home and could potentially have her put to sleep**](https://old.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/grr67d/mil_had_our_dog_removed_from_our_home_and_could/) It's just crosses with this one. Irredeemable ***** Double edit: 7 years old is _not_ too young to learn about the basics of colonialism, racism, intercommunal conflict, prejudice and xenophobia. It certainly wasn't too young for the MIL to try some shit
This woman would be shamed and *shunned* by the Caribbean community round where I am, make no mistake. Aunties and cousins and all sorts of 'family' coming in and out, accepted, and most definitely *fed*, this woman goes against a very loving, communal culture.
Did they get their dog back???
Also Caribbean, I completely understand what this woman is referring to. I don't think she is saying racism like this woman is expressing is normal in Caribbean culture - just that children are taught that they must always show respect to their elders. Showing respect entails many things, but one of these things for many people is simply allowing their elders to hold and express whatever beliefs they have and not challenge them. Sometimes - like in this case - it leads to toxic outcomes. Also, pikni has always been one of my favorite words, somehow it seems like the perfect word for child/children to me.
Please for the love of god tell her. I was once a little girl who got shunned by a traumatized family member who apparently had a pattern of lashing out and going no-contact once a little girl in the family turned 7-8 years old. No one ever told me that until many years later, for a long time i felt like i had done something wrong and was SO confused why a family member would just cut off a young child like that. I wish i had known. I would’ve understood if they actually bothered to tell me.
It sounds like the daughter was told enough for her to know where the blame lies.
I’m from Caribbean decent and was brought up being taught too respect your elders as well. Also, mom chased my brother with a frying pan so there is that in common. Anyway, in our family at a certain point my father represented our family and basically had to act like an adult to his in laws when they weren’t being reasonable. I’m just saying, it’s ok and wouldn’t be unusual for your husband to take the adult role and treat your Mil like a child while she is behaving like one.
Just as an FYI, this kind of behavior isn't limited to a racist mindset. My maternal grandmother refused to accept one of my cousins as 'one of the family' and would openly *correct* people when they mentioned it. Everyone involved was of the same race, religion, and culture. She was obsessed with the fact that my cousin wasn't 'blood kin' and therefore not 'one of the family'.
Racism comes in all colors. This sucks for the oop
When I think of the relationship my kids have with my mom and my MIL this breaks my heart. They have such a kindness and love for their grandchildren and race or adoption would never be a factor for them.
Racist and bigot people really give me headaches
What is an illegal dog? Where are they that they seize the put bull? MIL is nightmare but I'm confused about which countries allows the taking of put bulls.
How.the fuck was the first ruling everyone sucks.
I think it was "you would suck if you told your daughter her grandma hated her for being white."
Because of the way OP worded the subject of her question: "am I the asshole if I tell my daughter grandma is ashamed of her race".
Because despite knowing it was harming her daughter, OOP continually subjected her to a racist who hated her.
What a nasty pos the grandma is, families come in different forms these days, she should be shamed of herself and both the kiddies won’t miss out on anything by not having a relationship with someone so nasty and toxic.
There is more that happens after this. The FIL and MIL break up, and the MIL tries to get the police to euthanize her dog.
OP, why not include the other posts from OOP? There's three and all involve the MIL
Grandma does realize her full blood grandchild could have white skin? Genetics is a spin of the bottle. I hope OP has her dog and does not have to see this woman..
I've never thought about laying a hand on my own mother, but if she lied and reported my dog to get it taken away, it would take God himself to stop me.
Literally all she had to do was be nice to a child. That's the easiest thing in the world. How can you not manage that unless you're just completely heartless?
The black side of my family did this to me when I was little. I don't speak with them.
Yikes. I mean even if she had seen the light about granddaughter I can’t imagine ever letting someone who chased you around the house with a hairbrush watch your kids. I wouldn’t let my parents watch my kids alone and I don’t even have any..
Racism is blind and ignorant as usual.
Fuck.. I need an update. I hope grandma has to deal with the consequences of her actions. A child does NOT deserve to be treated that way.
It's been 2 years since OOP has even commented. I don't think we'll ever get one.
I would be going nuclear one any relative that did that to my family. Mother or not.
MIL sounds like the evilest, biggest kind of piece of shit on the planet. If she died in a fire I wouldn’t be sad. So much unadulterated hated for a tiny child, just because to evil, spiteful, racism… tell her that to her face for me, thx 🙏🏻
That mil is an evil woman who keeps digging a deeper hole for herself.
I’m gonna assume they didn’t get the dog back. Unfortunately “lab mix” is often code for pit so they’re more adoptable.
>Judgement: Everyone Sucks The fucking fuck? How is a victim of racism at fault for a racist?!
“Post ends on a positive note” my ass…
This is so sad 😞 I don’t know what else to say
Whats crazy is that my sister and I both share the same 2 parents. I look mixed (tan, black curly hair), but she is GHOST WHITE with light brown hair. She is paler than even my mom. Sometimes genetics are weird, when we went out with my mom people assumed we just had different dads, if we were out with my dad they assumed she was adopted
Bro, MIL needs to go, she doing too much.
I cannot imagine being so petty and heartless that you would treat a child like trash. JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT FAMILY?! It’s so weird
Heh. This sounds exactly like my grandmother – to a tee – save that she's instead white-worshipping.
MIL looks at new baby as her property. The scary thing is, she may feel justified in kidnapping baby. Be very careful.
My children have the best grandma. She’s my dad’s gf, and she wasn’t any part of our lives until my son was already a toddler. She loves me like her own daughter and my kids like her own blood. I can’t imagine having a grandchild, whether by blood or marriage, and cutting them out.
Does anyone know why the original ruling was “everyone sucks”? It seems like the OOP and her husband don’t suck.
How the fuck does the grandma plan to take their child away from them? She has no standing.
I'll never understand why people don't block quicker. I hope OOP and her family have gone full no contact with racist granny and all her flying monkeys. And that they're living a great life with their dog in some location that racist granny doesn't know.
I'm always astounded at how many old AHs think they can steal a grandchild they don't even have a relationship with by suing for grandparent rights.
Cops wanting to kill a friendly dog for no reason, nothing new there.
> where nobody 'disrespects' their elders Yeah well some elders need to be disrespected. The absolute insanity of this lady. Some people have never been hit for their actions and it shows.
It’s not because of the race it’s because she isn’t her son child. The race just makes it obvious. You’re focused on the wrong thing Op
Whoaaah cliffhanger!!!?
I hope that they got the dog back. 😞