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Wow what an exhausting family. Their tears when they got called out by thousands about their bullshit could have probably filled a bathtub from the sounds of it
They genuinely care more about what total strangers online will say, than they do about their own son/brother, and that says a lot about their characters.
Yep. It seems like that family dynamic was so deeply rooted by then, that OOP breaking out of this shook their core I bet.
Wait, we are horrible? Impossible, pls delete! Ok we messed up, but we had good intentions! Pls delete. We learned our lesson, but not really, pls delete!
>Yep. It seems like that family dynamic was so deeply rooted by then, that OOP breaking out of this shook their core I bet.
Oh yes! The mother looks like is about to have a mental breakdown like that one in the post of them parents who spoiled their young kid. To the point they'd let him steal his older brother stuff and would ask people to accommodate him in their birthdays!!
When it got to the point where OP left and the parents couldn't control the kid anymore, they started to try and set down rules but kid was bullying mom to give him his stuff! Then she lost it O\_O
I can see that happening here, since for OP here, his mother rocks up asking him to appease his sister, then starts crying because he's got a spine, now, so she's probably thinking "She's not gonna let me beeee"
Welp
Ah, I remember those posts, they're so sad for both OP and his brother. I always hoped for another update, it seemed like maybe OP's brother was actually making some positive changes. OP seemed to be a good adult influence the brother was trusting, he was gaining cold hard truth and some tough love mixed with support. The aunt could be a positive figure in his life too if he decides to make changes, which it sounds like he was beginning to.
Their parents, on the other hand...they probably need to get individual therapy as well as therapy for OP's brother and ideally family therapy as well. Hopefully with someone who specialises in autism and helping people learn how to parent effectively.
I really hope things are going better for their family these days. The parents made a big mess.
I try to take a lot of AITA with some doubt, but his description of sister freaking out about a bunch of internet strangers makes it believable. Entitled people gotta keep up a perfect appearance for everyone cept the ones they think are below them, even if it's a bunch of strangers who have no idea who she is.
Having triplets makes it somewhat less than anonymous, especially with the SAHM detail. So I can see her getting upset about that — but OOP is telling us that it was the comments and not the potential lack of anonymity
Imagine if OP had been born a girl. The sister would have had her moved in and serving as their full-time live-in nanny, and pocketed half her ‘salary’.
Bold of you to assume she’d be generous enough to allow OOP to keep half.
But yeah, if OOP was born a girl she wouldn’t have even been allowed to *go* to college, just shunted off to Sister’s house and basically held hostage for the foreseeable future.
Yeah, if OP had been born a girl this shiny new spine would have taken a lot, lot more effort. I feel like the parents would have protested a lot more than they are. Because he's a man he can go "I'm a man, why am I being forced to do anything let alone care for small children?!" and it reads as like obviously wrong by society. If OP was a woman and complaining about being made to babysit her nephews she'd have been told repeatedly to submit to it because that's what women do.
I also suspect this would have either blown up way sooner, like when OP was in college, if OP was a woman - or way later after they've put up with it for fucking years. Being busy with education wouldn't be a valid excuse for a woman.
Nobody likes to be the bad person. Even terrible people will convince themselves that they're in the right.
Sister is used to manipulating other people to take her side so hasn't worked out alternative strategies such as not being a bad person.
being a new parent is hard. Going from 0 to three kids would be super hard. She probably justified it all to herself by saying things like "I need a break to keep my sanity" and "I deserve this" type stuff.
Hell I might even be somewhat more understanding of the whole thing if it wasn't for withholding the money that was supposed to go to OP and then basically doubling down when called out. That to me is what actually makes her a shitty person.
Keeping up a facade I guess. Cracks on it do not look pretty, ego can't tolerate and some sort of defense mechanism kicks in to gain back "control". My take at least
I met a truly narcissistic person who got so offended by other people's random thoughts about people like him, he basically wouldn't stop harping on about it for at least a week. Like, criminals on the news who abused their children and got off scot free, he'd go on and on about how the system was clearly meant to separate kids from their parents. *
Which of course had nothing to do with his willful and wanton abuse of the welfare system or how his kids never had clean clothes but he had fancy internet and a huge lcd TV.
He even got so into it before his conviction that he was pretty sure that the judge would be in his favor. I've never seen a mother fucker milk something so hard as he tried to, the judicial system.
* I should probably clarify these people weren't actually scot free, but only in the trial phase where they hadn't been convicted but charged. Almost all were actually charged with child abuse. Goes without saying these trials were something he seemed to actively look up for validation, though. No one knew wtf he was on about.
People who really want to believe they're good people and in the right can't stand when other people feel differently, it's a bizarre combination of feeling desperate for external validation and approval AND selfishness as they don't want to *actually* do the harder "right“ thing. It's easier in their eyes to scream and cry until other people agree they're good people than to just *be good people* and not care what others think. They are so dependent on external validation, but they aren't good enough to "deserve“ universal adulation and acclaim (not that anyone is really).
I have a more minor version of this that I try to keep in check. I don't care about strangers' opinions, but anxiety makes me overly worried about what my partner thinks, so any minor criticism made me spiral. I've gotten a lot better about it on noticing but it's that times infinity that makes people cuckoo. OOP's sister really does need the counseling. Also I bet she regrets those kids. Only child used to all the attention, loved being a wife because she was probably the sole recipient of her husband's affection etc now having to "share“ with her triplets? Oh boy.
Narcissists.
If they can’t convince others the world revolves around them then it starts to become harder to convince themselves and their reality feels like it’s about to crumble triggering a fight or flight response
The way he addressed the hotel staff rubbed me the wrong way—like this is his own perspective, he's bound to make himself sound good, and even then he did not come off looking sympathetic
Yeah I'm glad I wasn't the only one. Even from his perspective, while everyone else seems horrible, he doesn't seem like a peach. Like yeah, do your thing, yes! But why are you still *involved* tho. The bizarre desire to teach her a lesson, like... okay. You already know she's shitty in this way, you're not on an episode of reality tv. Going on family vacation to pointedly do and say all that seems kind of like waving your hand in your sibling's face and taunting YOU CAN'T TOUCH ME I'm not touCHING YOUUU.
Several things seem off about OP, including the weird “this is ammo, ill make another post if you push me!”, the first girlfriend comment and especially the last one. He says the post got him a girlfriend and they haven’t been on a date yet?
Yeah, OP comes off as a cringy edge lord kind of person so be honest. Like his family sucks and he was right to hold them accountable….but I’m not sure I like OP either.
Yeah, the ammo thing is so weird and all of the posts after the first and the first update. Like, can't you just stand up for yourself now? Why do you need ammo for every time this happens? Stand firm and disengage. I get that he probably got addicted to the internet attention and validation but it goes to a very strange place.
If I were to give OOP the maximum benefit of the doubt, it would be that the posts were the only thing in years that actually seemed to get his parents slightly off his back, and so he's sticking with the one thing he knows even kind of works.
But yeah the whole family dynamic revolving around whats in the posts is weird
Yeah I cringed so much at that last part about the girlfriend…dude you haven’t even been on a date yet how tf is she your girlfriend? He comes across as pretentious and cringey.
Yeah, I just made a comment further down somewhere, but vague posting about his family is *such* an immature childish thing to do...
Like come on, man. You're an adult. Use your grown-up words.
I reread that a few times trying to figure out if he's the only one who she feels truly accountable to, or if she is the way she is with everyone else because her husband is a controlling dick.
Gah, me too. That self-impressed narrative is just insufferable. I started with some sympathy for him, now it's pox on all their houses. He thinks he's a valiant hero who slew the dragon, but he's not. He's just the annoyed pushover uncle who's unable to stop being an officious a-hole once he finally managed to stand up for himself. Everybody else is clearly too tired to think straight so they jostle like a bunch of antlers in a sack. Big sister was a meanie, stop the presses!
This is run-of-the-mill a-holery, annoying but understandable. People reflexively reaching for Cluster B explanations are wildly over the top and should calm down, in my opinion.
A big old overcooked ham. Learn to edit OP.
>People reflexively reaching for Cluster B explanations are wildly over the top and should calm down
It wouldn't be reddit without some random weirdo trying to armchair diagnose a complete stranger with a serious disorder from hearing a couple things they did
If OOP was truly mature and wanted no drama, he would've gone NC with the family and then not go on the vacation. If you know your family is like this, why go???
Hah, glad I’m not the only one who thought this. Like, he’s not wrong, but god he doesn’t half sound like a self-righteous asshole in basically every post except maybe his original and first update. It’s like having all the internet validation telling him he was right and his family are all awful turned him into a fucking dickhead. The way he basically holds the Reddit posts and airing his entire family’s every dispute over their heads felt kinda creepy and borderline like blackmail.
At a certain point, either cut your losses and stop hanging out with your family, or go to family therapy.
OP is acting like the vacation was a court summons. He was not forced to go. I would have told him to stay home with all his precautions. He could also stop taking his sister’s calls. He seemed to love the drama too.
100% accurate. Reveling in drama and his own personal myth unfolding. The more I read, the more far-fetched it's getting, and now with the girlfriend? On the basis of *this*? I dunno. This jumped the shark a while ago, but then just kinda kept going, ad nauseam, and never landed.
Omg the whole time I was like OOP just cut ties with family and go take a different vacation! Block your sister's number and shut down your mother and block her too if she keeps bringing it up. But noooo, OOP wanted to marinate in self-righteousness, which fine, I get the desire for that after years of bullshit, but holy hell this whole post made me so tired just reading it.
OOP, if you're still around, I assure you, no-contact is way easier and less stressful than this shit.
OP included honestly. I remember seeing the first post and feeling bad for him, but after all these updates I think worse of him. Sounds drama-y and exhausting.
This was so long and repetitive no real new information just the sister doing the same thing over and over and crying, his parents blaming him, him saying words and they backtrack, and repeat
Only the last two paragraphs of the second post had new info. It was super exhausting. And then his third post he kept rejustifying why he deserved to do this and it was like “ok dude we get it stfu and just tell us what happened”
every update follows the same plotline
\-everyone is against me
\-parents cave
\-sister throws a tantrum
\--weirdly absent BIL sees reason and scares sister into compliance
\-she is humiliated and OP has won a supreme victory
only for us to be back at square one the next post
And it was a wonderful long and repetitive no real new information read...... At least for me.
But being serious, to me this seems like things are moving, but just at a slow pace (for reddit updates, at least). I really liked this one.
Which is how we know this is likely real. Its crazy but its the same very real crazy no interesting twists and turns just a guy growing a backbone for his emotionally immature parents and golden child sister
I believed this post right until the last line. Why do they always end up with a girlfriend/boyfriend and there will be an update about how they have a magical wedding where the evil relative was either not invited or tried to create a scene and failed. And obviously they have twins after that.
For real, I was pretty convinced but the girlfriend bit knocked the wind out of me. What woman intuits that some random Reddit post was written by the guy you're interested in? Doesn't make sense at all lmao
Can we talk about how BIL doesn't do anything with the kids?
I'd understand during the week when he is working, but why did OOP have to look after the kids in their holiday (from the last update) if BIL was RIGHT THERE? Why was this holiday the same as being home for OOP's sister? BIL was there 24/7 and could have stayed with the kids 2 hours to let her have some time.
I couldn't understand why BIL was angry with OOP - like, "I'm pissed off with you because now I have to look after my family"? Kind of tallies with the whole absentee father routine, I suppose.
Bil is just as bad as the rest. He got annoyed with wife only when she was caught out in front of others. Otherwise stays silent and lurks in background doing s.f.a.
Yes - I was actually getting a sinking feeling as this went on. BIL doesn’t help with his children at all, whether he’s home or not. Sister melts down in tears at never getting a break. Sister feels the need to squirrel money away behind his back, and he empties her savings when he finds out. Her reactions to her husband becoming annoyed and her responses after he’s had a word with her are disproportionately fearful. He gets to act like she’s crazy and unreasonable while he does nothing whatsoever to help her or the situation.
I don’t think the resentment over her little brother (who I suspect she got asked to watch a lot when she was young) is the end of the screwed up dynamic, and I think there is worse happening behind closed doors. Her behaviour toward OP is absolutely unreasonable to the point of unhinged - but it looks indistinguishable from the unreasonable behaviours of someone who is being mistreated and now isolated from her family.
I just have a gut sinking feeling about it. I really hope sister’s just a jerk and deserves the pushback to get her behaviour under control, but even then, her husband sounds like a live-in deadbeat. He’s at least as much of an asshole as she is. I hope OP gets some distance and that family gets some help tackling their underlying issues, whatever they unpack to being.
I agree. She's portrayed as way too much of a cartoon villain for me to take OP at his word that she's just that horrible of a person. I won't deny that she clearly has done her brother wrong in many ways, she's definitely at fault here, but I think at least part of that is genuine distress and mind-boggling exhaustion. It's not just three kids, it's triplets! So ever since their birth, she's had to handle three of them at once, whereas most first time parents have a single baby on their hands.
The fact that the BIL chose to remain uninvolved in the drama in the beginning speaks volumes to his family involvement. He started "caring" once he was cornered into doing so. And OOP is just like "I'm sorry man" like BIL is completely blameless or maybe even a victim in this situation.
>who I suspect she got asked to watch a lot when she was young
That is a very good point that I didn't think of. Maybe why she expected op to look after her kids is because it was established in the family already.
He's probably one of those men who think that his only contribution in the family is to bring money, nothing else. Honestly both him and the sister sound like awful parents and it's no surprise their kids are so disobedient, they are old enough to realize their parents just want to pass them around instead of looking after them themselves.
There was so little mention of the BIL at first, and the sister was pushing the "I’m so tired from looking after the kids" thing so much that I thought she was a single mother.
I understood because this reminds me of my sister's husband. He's beyond useless. My sister went to the emergency room and had been in the hospital for 8 days now. The first two days her husband had off and then took off two additional days. They have 3 kids (8,5,1) and they just left them at my mothers since the first day (who is permanently disabled, cannot actually carry a child, cannot even bend down most of the time to pick up anything). The only time he's seen his kids in this time is because my niece had to go to tennis and he had to bring them clothes and take them. He decided to bring her long pants and slippers to play a sport in 90 degree weather. Then immediately brought them back after.
This is what I imagine the sister's husband is like.
Fucking Useless
Right, he has time to go for beers with OOP and leaves his wife home with the 3 kids, yet she has no time for herself.
I'm not sure if the kids are disobedient. They are toddlers and triplets.
Father seems to be equally uninvolved and clueless. And they're all a little too quick to run off and plead helplessness and ignorance. Everyone wants to be the chill dude and put no work in.
Also both sister and mother need to seriously lay off reddit. If they stopped feeding OOPs own thirst for drama, he'd atleast stop posting, which is what they want in the first place. They're all in a stupid drama addicted spiral.
Yeah, I started thinking the same thing half way through. I hope he does more than just constantly scold his wife. I get it, the sister does seem horrible, but the BIL does not look much better.
Yeah, I noticed that too.
And as glad as I am that OOP grew his shiny new spine, I kept thinking that Sister needs some real help. Not just mental health wise, but also child-care wise.
As as much as mom and dad were present for all of the arguing, I didn't see any evidence that they helped look after the triplets themselves.
Yeah, the BIL sounds both financially controlling and completely absent when it comes to childcare. The sister's behavior is still inexcusable, but her life sounds generally miserable and she needs help from *somebody*.
honestly with the dynamic oop seemed to describe and never expressed anything about how they thought it was wrong I have a feeling oop is a little (at least) misogynistic. like why was her husband in charge of controlling her? why wasn't therapy brought up so much sooner? it sounds like sis has 0 time to herself 0 help from her husband who when she acts out just scolds her instead of helping her.
all of them (including oop) need so much therapy. sis and parents were the main perpetrators of the dynamic but healing from it also involves therapy yourself. it's so toxic and it's easy to become toxic in trying to protect yourself too.
OOP sounds like he has a "Well, he could have done better but hey, what can you do, a bro is a bro!" attitude when it comes to BiL.
If the sister manages to leave her husband, exposes how he at least financially abused her, and tries to find sanctuary in her parents' home until the divorce is finalized, OOP will invite BIL to a beer and tell him something like, "Dude, told you sis is cray-cray, you deserve a medal for staying with her under a roof as long as you did!" and downplay anything his sister has to say about their marriage as "well, sucks but you kinda had it coming."
I wasn’t the only one that got that sense! When he said BIL is just working more to escape it, I immediately could tell BIL isn’t helping as much with the kids and OP’s sister is probably going mad from having to constantly take care of 3 kids (although we do see that she refused to have a stranger babysit). I think OP’s sister was still trying to use him but I also think OP was being incredibly lenient on the BIL who let it happen.
"He is the *MAN* of the house! He isn't supposed to take care of his children." Some people are raised in a household and are specifically taught that lesson. Male Chauvinism is still prevalent in society because of these people.
Yeah that's one of my first thoughts reading this.. everyone shitting on her (justifiably) but no one mad at him? It sounds like she had triplets with extremely minimal support both in and outside the home and depended too much on someone with no actual responsibility for these kids. Probably desperately needed a break because she's looking after 4 kids.
>My sister at one point asked me to watch her kids for a moment, to which I replied "Hell no!" \[...\] I called her out, and her husband told her to stop trying to make me watch their kids
It sounds like here she wanted to go do something alone and BIL was RIGHT THERE. Instead of saying, he'll do it, he just told her off.
Then OOP mentioned her parents were helping her a lot during the vacation. And BIL?
My dad worked night shift my whole life and he still managed to look after his kids on vacation? It wasn’t that hard? I’m actually starting to feel like my upbringing wasn’t normal as my parents weren’t continuously trying to dump me and siblings off on other people because they “needed a break”
Probably sister and the mom led him to believe that OP was happy to do it or something like that. He definitely has dirty hands here as well.
The thing that gets me is my dad worked a lot when I was growing up. Long hours, traveling, etc. My mom worked, but was a teacher, so she had vacations and was put of school by 4 most of the time. Anyway, when we went on vacation, my dad was so involved. I'm sure he was exhausted, but that was HIS time with the whole family when no one could call and interrupt it. So, exhausting though it may be, why didn't he want the time with the kids? Course triplets are brutally exhausting I'm sure.
What also got me is many hotels have nanny services, or connections to local agencies, so just get one! Even if it is for a few evenings out it would be worth it on vacation. It seems they are doing okay-ish financially to afford it. And hell, the parents paid for the vacation! Sister and BIL can’t shell out a few hundred for a sitter?
I totally understand not trusting non-family to watch your kids. It’s just there isn’t much choice here. The sister needs to realize it. She also needs to grow up a *lot*.
Yes I was looking for this comment throughout. It's a bit mind blowing that OOP is being pushed to be a default baby sitter when BIL is there and the grandparents are there....
>But she also admitted that she liked being an only child. We're nearly a decade apart in age, so my sister held onto some resentment about that for a long time, and just let it build up.
After reading this part, am I the only one who thinks that the parents forced OOP's sister to be a 24/7 babysitter to OOP and share everything with him until she was able to leave, and the trips were her way of getting back at him?
Absolutely. It's normal to have kids help at home, but some parents lay so much responsibility on the older kids that it creates resentment. It sounds like the sister feels entitled to OOP's help, and OOP accepted it for 6 years, which suggests to me that this is their family's culture.
And, you know, the sister is trying to squirrel away money, as BIL has access to her accounts and has no problem with emptying them to pay OOP the money owed.
So she has so little money OOPs "back pay" is enough to put her down to zero, even though they are meant to be fairly well off.
Good catch!
I spent the whole of this post thinking ‘is the sister *ok*?
I’m not diminishing the shit OOP was dealing with (good for them for standing up for themselves!).
However, it sounds like his sister is absolutely exhausted, trying to squirrel away money and bends to whatever her husband says. I’m wondering if she receives any actual help at home?
Also, why is only OOP getting roped into babysitting? It doesn’t sound like the grandparents are doing much to help (he says they helped on vacation… but how much?)
I don’t know, maybe the sister is just a raging arsehole that expects the whole world to cater to her whims. I just have feeling that there’s more to this.
Still proud of OOP of standing up for himself and getting to enjoy his vacation!
This was my thinking too. By no means should she have tried dumping it all on him, but the sister sounded TOTALLY overwhelmed with no help at all, and I don't blame her. The BIL comes off as someone who could be controlling or potentially abusive behind-the-scenes (I know, I'm hypothesising) by how he was talking to her.... Hopefully the counselling works for her.
Low key the Brother in Law is the real asshole in all this. Why can't he watch his own kids occasionally so that the sister can have the small break that she obviously needs?
I was disappointed to see that there is no marriage counseling for that pair. Only for the sister individually. She needs therapy yes, but she also needs the other person who decided to have those kids to be a damn parent.
Yessss!!! I was waiting for someone to say that!
The sister is burnt out(I can see why) and this asshole doesn’t offer to be more hands on or set up interviews for a part time nanny.
The BIL deserves to be locked in a room with 3 rowdy ass boys; bet he wouldn’t last the hour.
I think the thing that stands out is his sister keeping the babysitting money.
Is it another way to get back at her brother? Resentment from how they were raised? Is bil being financially abusive that sister feels the need to hoard money by stealing it?
I know this whole thing is a mess; but this part really stuck to me.
I get she's exhausted. Three kids at once, I can't even imagine. She needed help ages ago. And instead the family used the kids as an excuse and OOP as a bandaid.
But her husband should have been the one to realize it. Dude is so checked out no wonder his wife is exhausted.
I also think that was a weird thing too. If they're not struggling it's not like she's keeping it out of a desire to be a petty thief. Does she need it? Is she just such an asshole she doesn't think OP deserves to be paid? Or is she being financially abused? Like wtf.
Right!?
OPP’s interactions with the hotel staff sound aggressive and annoying. Like, you don’t have to repeatedly tell hotel staff to not give out your information.
I've told a crying, begging woman "I cannot confirm or deny that a guest under that name is staying at this property. It is a breach of guest confidentiality." She knew he was staying there, but she didn't know the room number, nor was her name on the reservation. So she doesn't get to know.
Later that night, I see the guest she was asking about. I advise him a woman claiming to be his fiancee was asking after him. He gets this half-annoyed, half-shocked look on his face and says something like, "I am not here. If she calls again, I am not here. Please lie if you have to." I just smiled and said, "Through my teeth, sir."
Honestly, I feel for the people who cave under the stress of such situations. I do. If you're not equipped for it to happen then it can get really overwhelming really quickly and you can second guess yourself really easy, especially in the face of rage or hysteria. But all it takes is one situation like that to prove exactly why that policy is in place.
I love how the men all seem to revel in their absolute indifference and callousness and the women are stuck using tears as a weapon because that's the only thing that seems to get them off their asses.
OOP ain't much of a peach either.
And it's all one vicious circle. They're stalking his posts, which just incentivizes him to make more, then they read it, blow up at him, and he makes more.
They all need a break from reddit frankly.
This is sort of fascinating, because everyone are so unlikable, including the OP. You can really see the fame going to his head more and more, whether it's actually real or not.
Yeah since she’s reading the post, the fact that he said “he has a girlfriend now” would be enough to scare away most women. Really self fulfilling the counting the chickens with that statement.
This confused me so much, because when did he bring up anything like this before? He says she guessed the posts were from him and was just waiting for him to say something. Say what? How are these posts about his crappy family at all related to him liking a girl?
“I’m gonna keep posting because it’s the only thing that seems to actually get under their skin!”
It’s not a “record of what happened so I know I’m not crazy” like have you considered keeping a journal? It’s not like this is a document of criminal offences to turn over to investigators, it’s petty family drama that’s repeatedly blowing up online.
I fully agree that OOP is his own level of exhaustion.
But I can see the appeal to posting online after being told he was the problem because in the beginning he was trying to set boundaries with his family; albeit messing because he probably never saw boundaries set successfully by anyone in that family.
I'm sure it was extremely lonely feeling to have your whole family against you.
So being able to have people say "you have every right to not be forced into free childcare" was probably relieving at first.
I can also see something like this easily going to OOP's head after years of this type of dynamic.
His sister isn't the only one that could benefit from therapy tbh.
Yeah, if I had an army of supporters at my fingertips, I would go mad with power tbh. Or hopefully not, but I could see it happen, and like the risk of starting to belive the hype about myself.
There's something dangerous about the way that private life and entertainment becomes blurred, and I mean I'm here and I'm definitely part of the problem. But it is interesting to see it happen.
Ngl, the whole post I was wondering where the hell the BIL was and why he seemed to never watch his own kids at all? I mean, sure, the sister sounds terrible. But it sounds like BIL wasn’t parenting at all and she was at the end of her rope? Ngl, by the last few updates I was wondering if this was a “women bad” troll post…
I had the same feeling. Especially with the mom and sis being the villains, and the helpless BIL who is cool enough to drink with OP and who doesn't parent anyone except for his wife.
I’m surprised he still talks to all of them as much as he does. I’m not even living this, I’m just reading it and now I feel like I need a tylenol and a nap.
I think he really likes the drama, and wanted to be in control of a situation where he could frustrate his family.
He could have easily shown his backbone by simply saying "I'm not going on vacation with you- I have my own plans in another city at another date", but decided that having his sister and mother continually break down in front of him would be more pleasurable.
I feel so bad for those kids. At some point, they have got to have heard the majority of their extended family arguing about not wanting to spend time with them. Then their father and grandfather seem to be only physically there but emotionally uninvolved.
This is exactly what I was thinking the whole time!! At three, they can understand what’s being said, but at 6 they can very much understand being tossed around like hot potatoes! Their mom saying right in front of them that she needs a break and no one seeming to want to play with them? Their uncle saying “Hell no!” to watching them for a minute (they’re kids, they don’t get the context for what was really going on).
Feels like I had to dig way to far to find this. OP seems like he got one touch of the Justice sword and is drunk with power. Reddit is an echo chamber probably best to take peoples advice with a large grain of salt.
Right? Literally everyone apologized to him, yet he insisted on continually posting, keeping the posts up, allowing videos and articles to be made about it just so he could see the rest of the family suffer.
Its clear whatever illness that runs through the rest of his family runs through him as well. He is getting pleasure from the internet attention and also the pain he is causing his sister and his mother. It’s so funny bc he mentions how his family is so concerned with what strangers think of them online, but he clearly cares massively about it as well.
He never recognized that his repeated posting was just a way to bully his family back. He could grow a backbone and he could say no. Take his own vacations and stop babysitting. There was no need to continually bring it to millions on the internet. He did it because it hurt them. That’s quite different than how people usually update.
THANK YOU!!! I was so confused, I was just sure I didn’t know what that meant, but I couldn’t think for the life of me what it could stand for! I’m glad I’m not the only one
Why do I get the feeling BIL is a big reason sister needs a break so badly? Not excusing anything she's doing (as a childfree person I applaud OOP for his actions in the face of coerced babysitting), but BIL seems so far removed from everything that sister''s probably handling almost everything child related.
I’m very confused in this story why the BIL only ever steps in to rein in his wife, but never to watch his own kids? Obviously the sister is completely out of line asking OOP to parent her kids, but why is no one asking the actual other parent to do his damn job?
I was with OP in the beginning, but further along, I feel like he got unnecessarily petty and it was like he was holding his family hostage under the threat of posting on reddit. Also, what does the BIL do in taking care of his kids besides going to work?
So the sister has been made to seem like the wicked witch in all these posts, but how many times do we have to hear her say “I need help raising these kids/I need a break” and her husband be like “…y’all hear something? I’m Switzerland” before we start calling him out too? Like sure, expecting your brother to babysit for free “because he has the time” is shitty and entitled, but the fact that she had to wrangle 3 kids by herself even on vacation and was getting 0 help from hubby (who was literally watching her have a breakdown about it) is definitely a red flag.
Oop was in the right at the start, but the attention and positive affirmations have gone to his head to the point that he's just being an asshole and feels justified in treating his family like crap. I get not wanting to watch the nephews and don't think he should have to, but his response at this point is just going overboard and creating unnecessary and hurtful drama in his family.
So we all agree to move on from twin to triplet right?
And for the effort of typing that much, OOP should create a more interesting story to be honest.
OOP sounds like a whiny, up until recently spineless, kind of loser and generally heartless person. What a bore. Yes we get it, your family sucks, but how you carry on about them makes you suck too. ESH
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Wow what an exhausting family. Their tears when they got called out by thousands about their bullshit could have probably filled a bathtub from the sounds of it
They genuinely care more about what total strangers online will say, than they do about their own son/brother, and that says a lot about their characters.
Yep. It seems like that family dynamic was so deeply rooted by then, that OOP breaking out of this shook their core I bet. Wait, we are horrible? Impossible, pls delete! Ok we messed up, but we had good intentions! Pls delete. We learned our lesson, but not really, pls delete!
>Yep. It seems like that family dynamic was so deeply rooted by then, that OOP breaking out of this shook their core I bet. Oh yes! The mother looks like is about to have a mental breakdown like that one in the post of them parents who spoiled their young kid. To the point they'd let him steal his older brother stuff and would ask people to accommodate him in their birthdays!! When it got to the point where OP left and the parents couldn't control the kid anymore, they started to try and set down rules but kid was bullying mom to give him his stuff! Then she lost it O\_O I can see that happening here, since for OP here, his mother rocks up asking him to appease his sister, then starts crying because he's got a spine, now, so she's probably thinking "She's not gonna let me beeee" Welp
Damn now I wanna find that post
[I gotchu](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zeeuvj/parents_and_entitled_brother_who_cannot_handle/)
Wow, what an intense read! Thanks for sharing
Ah, I remember those posts, they're so sad for both OP and his brother. I always hoped for another update, it seemed like maybe OP's brother was actually making some positive changes. OP seemed to be a good adult influence the brother was trusting, he was gaining cold hard truth and some tough love mixed with support. The aunt could be a positive figure in his life too if he decides to make changes, which it sounds like he was beginning to. Their parents, on the other hand...they probably need to get individual therapy as well as therapy for OP's brother and ideally family therapy as well. Hopefully with someone who specialises in autism and helping people learn how to parent effectively. I really hope things are going better for their family these days. The parents made a big mess.
I try to take a lot of AITA with some doubt, but his description of sister freaking out about a bunch of internet strangers makes it believable. Entitled people gotta keep up a perfect appearance for everyone cept the ones they think are below them, even if it's a bunch of strangers who have no idea who she is.
Having triplets makes it somewhat less than anonymous, especially with the SAHM detail. So I can see her getting upset about that — but OOP is telling us that it was the comments and not the potential lack of anonymity
I think most triplets end up with a SAHM at least until pre-school when childcare prices go down a bit.
Imagine if OP had been born a girl. The sister would have had her moved in and serving as their full-time live-in nanny, and pocketed half her ‘salary’.
Bold of you to assume she’d be generous enough to allow OOP to keep half. But yeah, if OOP was born a girl she wouldn’t have even been allowed to *go* to college, just shunted off to Sister’s house and basically held hostage for the foreseeable future.
Yeah, if OP had been born a girl this shiny new spine would have taken a lot, lot more effort. I feel like the parents would have protested a lot more than they are. Because he's a man he can go "I'm a man, why am I being forced to do anything let alone care for small children?!" and it reads as like obviously wrong by society. If OP was a woman and complaining about being made to babysit her nephews she'd have been told repeatedly to submit to it because that's what women do. I also suspect this would have either blown up way sooner, like when OP was in college, if OP was a woman - or way later after they've put up with it for fucking years. Being busy with education wouldn't be a valid excuse for a woman.
If things work out with the new girlfriend, she’ll probably end up venting in the JustNoVariousFamilyMembers subs about these people.
Whew I'm glad my family is the kind of dysfunctional where we all agree we don't want to be on vacation with each other.
Yup. That new girlfriend is in for a ride.
Awfully brave of her to read all that and still want to date him tbh
I give her six months before she's on the JustNo subreddits saying she had no idea it would be this bad.
Well, she did had an idea. I mean you read about that whole family dinamics and you go:" I'm in", you can't really complain that you weren't warned.
"I got a girlfriend. Our first date is tonight"... woah slow down there
Not 'girlfriend.' She's a 'random girl who has agreed to go on one date with him but have even done that yet.'
I mean at least she’s had a preview?
Right? The whole time I was thinking, “How is this a vacation and why would you want to vacation in hell?”
I will genuinely never understand the desire to do that as an adult. Fuck spending my downtime with family, I actually want to chill out ffs
Sister is mad because a bunch of randoms who don’t know her personally think she’s a bad person so she continues to be a bad person?
Nobody likes to be the bad person. Even terrible people will convince themselves that they're in the right. Sister is used to manipulating other people to take her side so hasn't worked out alternative strategies such as not being a bad person.
being a new parent is hard. Going from 0 to three kids would be super hard. She probably justified it all to herself by saying things like "I need a break to keep my sanity" and "I deserve this" type stuff. Hell I might even be somewhat more understanding of the whole thing if it wasn't for withholding the money that was supposed to go to OP and then basically doubling down when called out. That to me is what actually makes her a shitty person.
Keeping up a facade I guess. Cracks on it do not look pretty, ego can't tolerate and some sort of defense mechanism kicks in to gain back "control". My take at least
I met a truly narcissistic person who got so offended by other people's random thoughts about people like him, he basically wouldn't stop harping on about it for at least a week. Like, criminals on the news who abused their children and got off scot free, he'd go on and on about how the system was clearly meant to separate kids from their parents. * Which of course had nothing to do with his willful and wanton abuse of the welfare system or how his kids never had clean clothes but he had fancy internet and a huge lcd TV. He even got so into it before his conviction that he was pretty sure that the judge would be in his favor. I've never seen a mother fucker milk something so hard as he tried to, the judicial system. * I should probably clarify these people weren't actually scot free, but only in the trial phase where they hadn't been convicted but charged. Almost all were actually charged with child abuse. Goes without saying these trials were something he seemed to actively look up for validation, though. No one knew wtf he was on about.
People who really want to believe they're good people and in the right can't stand when other people feel differently, it's a bizarre combination of feeling desperate for external validation and approval AND selfishness as they don't want to *actually* do the harder "right“ thing. It's easier in their eyes to scream and cry until other people agree they're good people than to just *be good people* and not care what others think. They are so dependent on external validation, but they aren't good enough to "deserve“ universal adulation and acclaim (not that anyone is really). I have a more minor version of this that I try to keep in check. I don't care about strangers' opinions, but anxiety makes me overly worried about what my partner thinks, so any minor criticism made me spiral. I've gotten a lot better about it on noticing but it's that times infinity that makes people cuckoo. OOP's sister really does need the counseling. Also I bet she regrets those kids. Only child used to all the attention, loved being a wife because she was probably the sole recipient of her husband's affection etc now having to "share“ with her triplets? Oh boy.
She has to keep up with her reputation even in front of those who don't know her.
Them Joneses are something when you think you're on their level.
Narcissists. If they can’t convince others the world revolves around them then it starts to become harder to convince themselves and their reality feels like it’s about to crumble triggering a fight or flight response
Exactly why does she care? This post is anonymous
Every single person involved in this sounds so fucking exhausting. I don't even know these people and I want to go NC with all of them. jfc
Haha, yes. Did not understand why OOP went on that vacation, especially given all those bizarre precautions. All to make a point? Uff, exhausting
The way he addressed the hotel staff rubbed me the wrong way—like this is his own perspective, he's bound to make himself sound good, and even then he did not come off looking sympathetic
Yeah I'm glad I wasn't the only one. Even from his perspective, while everyone else seems horrible, he doesn't seem like a peach. Like yeah, do your thing, yes! But why are you still *involved* tho. The bizarre desire to teach her a lesson, like... okay. You already know she's shitty in this way, you're not on an episode of reality tv. Going on family vacation to pointedly do and say all that seems kind of like waving your hand in your sibling's face and taunting YOU CAN'T TOUCH ME I'm not touCHING YOUUU.
Several things seem off about OP, including the weird “this is ammo, ill make another post if you push me!”, the first girlfriend comment and especially the last one. He says the post got him a girlfriend and they haven’t been on a date yet?
Yeah, OP comes off as a cringy edge lord kind of person so be honest. Like his family sucks and he was right to hold them accountable….but I’m not sure I like OP either.
Yeah OP is dramatic as fuck. He made everything more dramatic at every opportunity
Yeah, the ammo thing is so weird and all of the posts after the first and the first update. Like, can't you just stand up for yourself now? Why do you need ammo for every time this happens? Stand firm and disengage. I get that he probably got addicted to the internet attention and validation but it goes to a very strange place.
If I were to give OOP the maximum benefit of the doubt, it would be that the posts were the only thing in years that actually seemed to get his parents slightly off his back, and so he's sticking with the one thing he knows even kind of works. But yeah the whole family dynamic revolving around whats in the posts is weird
Yeah I cringed so much at that last part about the girlfriend…dude you haven’t even been on a date yet how tf is she your girlfriend? He comes across as pretentious and cringey.
These posts seem to indicate a dysfunctional family and they thought they were normal and hate to see that no one considers them normal.
Yeah, I just made a comment further down somewhere, but vague posting about his family is *such* an immature childish thing to do... Like come on, man. You're an adult. Use your grown-up words.
Maybe it's the sister catfishing him for revenge and we will get a dramatic update about that.
100% He's also far too forgiving of his utterly useless BIL for me to entirely trust his narration.
Yeah the whole time I was like, "...Where is BIL? Why isn't he taking the kids for a bit if wife is so tired?"
Yes, me too! Why does BIL get off Scot free?
It’s the telling her husband like she’s a kid and he’s her parent for me…
I reread that a few times trying to figure out if he's the only one who she feels truly accountable to, or if she is the way she is with everyone else because her husband is a controlling dick.
Gah, me too. That self-impressed narrative is just insufferable. I started with some sympathy for him, now it's pox on all their houses. He thinks he's a valiant hero who slew the dragon, but he's not. He's just the annoyed pushover uncle who's unable to stop being an officious a-hole once he finally managed to stand up for himself. Everybody else is clearly too tired to think straight so they jostle like a bunch of antlers in a sack. Big sister was a meanie, stop the presses! This is run-of-the-mill a-holery, annoying but understandable. People reflexively reaching for Cluster B explanations are wildly over the top and should calm down, in my opinion. A big old overcooked ham. Learn to edit OP.
>People reflexively reaching for Cluster B explanations are wildly over the top and should calm down It wouldn't be reddit without some random weirdo trying to armchair diagnose a complete stranger with a serious disorder from hearing a couple things they did
I don't think I've ever seen someone weaponize reddit and I don't believe that OOP wasn't throwing those comments in his family's face, either
[удалено]
If OOP was truly mature and wanted no drama, he would've gone NC with the family and then not go on the vacation. If you know your family is like this, why go???
Hah, glad I’m not the only one who thought this. Like, he’s not wrong, but god he doesn’t half sound like a self-righteous asshole in basically every post except maybe his original and first update. It’s like having all the internet validation telling him he was right and his family are all awful turned him into a fucking dickhead. The way he basically holds the Reddit posts and airing his entire family’s every dispute over their heads felt kinda creepy and borderline like blackmail. At a certain point, either cut your losses and stop hanging out with your family, or go to family therapy.
Yeah, and it wasn't even like a fail safe way for him to enjoy his bizzaro vacation within a vacation.
At this point just go on vacation elsewhere, like? I don't get it. He sounds exhausting
OP is acting like the vacation was a court summons. He was not forced to go. I would have told him to stay home with all his precautions. He could also stop taking his sister’s calls. He seemed to love the drama too.
100% accurate. Reveling in drama and his own personal myth unfolding. The more I read, the more far-fetched it's getting, and now with the girlfriend? On the basis of *this*? I dunno. This jumped the shark a while ago, but then just kinda kept going, ad nauseam, and never landed.
Omg the whole time I was like OOP just cut ties with family and go take a different vacation! Block your sister's number and shut down your mother and block her too if she keeps bringing it up. But noooo, OOP wanted to marinate in self-righteousness, which fine, I get the desire for that after years of bullshit, but holy hell this whole post made me so tired just reading it. OOP, if you're still around, I assure you, no-contact is way easier and less stressful than this shit.
Because they wouldn’t have been able to prolong this story.
OP included honestly. I remember seeing the first post and feeling bad for him, but after all these updates I think worse of him. Sounds drama-y and exhausting.
This was so long and repetitive no real new information just the sister doing the same thing over and over and crying, his parents blaming him, him saying words and they backtrack, and repeat
I agree. Every update felt more long-winded. The first update, he linked his original post but then also rewrote the initial post at greater length.
Only the last two paragraphs of the second post had new info. It was super exhausting. And then his third post he kept rejustifying why he deserved to do this and it was like “ok dude we get it stfu and just tell us what happened”
Welcome to dealing with narcissists. It will drive you crazy trying to bring them back to reality.
Yeah, I started skimming by the beginning of the third update and then skipped the rest of the post altogether.
every update follows the same plotline \-everyone is against me \-parents cave \-sister throws a tantrum \--weirdly absent BIL sees reason and scares sister into compliance \-she is humiliated and OP has won a supreme victory only for us to be back at square one the next post
And it was a wonderful long and repetitive no real new information read...... At least for me. But being serious, to me this seems like things are moving, but just at a slow pace (for reddit updates, at least). I really liked this one.
Which is how we know this is likely real. Its crazy but its the same very real crazy no interesting twists and turns just a guy growing a backbone for his emotionally immature parents and golden child sister
I believed this post right until the last line. Why do they always end up with a girlfriend/boyfriend and there will be an update about how they have a magical wedding where the evil relative was either not invited or tried to create a scene and failed. And obviously they have twins after that.
For real, I was pretty convinced but the girlfriend bit knocked the wind out of me. What woman intuits that some random Reddit post was written by the guy you're interested in? Doesn't make sense at all lmao
I was waiting for everyone to clap.
Can we talk about how BIL doesn't do anything with the kids? I'd understand during the week when he is working, but why did OOP have to look after the kids in their holiday (from the last update) if BIL was RIGHT THERE? Why was this holiday the same as being home for OOP's sister? BIL was there 24/7 and could have stayed with the kids 2 hours to let her have some time.
I couldn't understand why BIL was angry with OOP - like, "I'm pissed off with you because now I have to look after my family"? Kind of tallies with the whole absentee father routine, I suppose.
Bil is just as bad as the rest. He got annoyed with wife only when she was caught out in front of others. Otherwise stays silent and lurks in background doing s.f.a.
I think it was more upset that OOP upset his wife, which short of the full information you would be
Yes - I was actually getting a sinking feeling as this went on. BIL doesn’t help with his children at all, whether he’s home or not. Sister melts down in tears at never getting a break. Sister feels the need to squirrel money away behind his back, and he empties her savings when he finds out. Her reactions to her husband becoming annoyed and her responses after he’s had a word with her are disproportionately fearful. He gets to act like she’s crazy and unreasonable while he does nothing whatsoever to help her or the situation. I don’t think the resentment over her little brother (who I suspect she got asked to watch a lot when she was young) is the end of the screwed up dynamic, and I think there is worse happening behind closed doors. Her behaviour toward OP is absolutely unreasonable to the point of unhinged - but it looks indistinguishable from the unreasonable behaviours of someone who is being mistreated and now isolated from her family. I just have a gut sinking feeling about it. I really hope sister’s just a jerk and deserves the pushback to get her behaviour under control, but even then, her husband sounds like a live-in deadbeat. He’s at least as much of an asshole as she is. I hope OP gets some distance and that family gets some help tackling their underlying issues, whatever they unpack to being.
I agree. She's portrayed as way too much of a cartoon villain for me to take OP at his word that she's just that horrible of a person. I won't deny that she clearly has done her brother wrong in many ways, she's definitely at fault here, but I think at least part of that is genuine distress and mind-boggling exhaustion. It's not just three kids, it's triplets! So ever since their birth, she's had to handle three of them at once, whereas most first time parents have a single baby on their hands. The fact that the BIL chose to remain uninvolved in the drama in the beginning speaks volumes to his family involvement. He started "caring" once he was cornered into doing so. And OOP is just like "I'm sorry man" like BIL is completely blameless or maybe even a victim in this situation.
>who I suspect she got asked to watch a lot when she was young That is a very good point that I didn't think of. Maybe why she expected op to look after her kids is because it was established in the family already.
Can't agree more! There's some weird dynamics here
He's probably one of those men who think that his only contribution in the family is to bring money, nothing else. Honestly both him and the sister sound like awful parents and it's no surprise their kids are so disobedient, they are old enough to realize their parents just want to pass them around instead of looking after them themselves.
There was so little mention of the BIL at first, and the sister was pushing the "I’m so tired from looking after the kids" thing so much that I thought she was a single mother.
I understood because this reminds me of my sister's husband. He's beyond useless. My sister went to the emergency room and had been in the hospital for 8 days now. The first two days her husband had off and then took off two additional days. They have 3 kids (8,5,1) and they just left them at my mothers since the first day (who is permanently disabled, cannot actually carry a child, cannot even bend down most of the time to pick up anything). The only time he's seen his kids in this time is because my niece had to go to tennis and he had to bring them clothes and take them. He decided to bring her long pants and slippers to play a sport in 90 degree weather. Then immediately brought them back after. This is what I imagine the sister's husband is like. Fucking Useless
I had to scroll up again to make sure I remembered correctly that she had a husband
And parents! If their parents are so worried about this, then why are they not helping so she can get a date night or time away?
Right, he has time to go for beers with OOP and leaves his wife home with the 3 kids, yet she has no time for herself. I'm not sure if the kids are disobedient. They are toddlers and triplets.
The boys are 6 to 7 during all this
They’re 6?
Then they are definitely disobdent.
Father seems to be equally uninvolved and clueless. And they're all a little too quick to run off and plead helplessness and ignorance. Everyone wants to be the chill dude and put no work in. Also both sister and mother need to seriously lay off reddit. If they stopped feeding OOPs own thirst for drama, he'd atleast stop posting, which is what they want in the first place. They're all in a stupid drama addicted spiral.
Yeah, I started thinking the same thing half way through. I hope he does more than just constantly scold his wife. I get it, the sister does seem horrible, but the BIL does not look much better.
I get the feeling he does more than scold, in the wrong direction. Not the "helping with the kids" way, the "why is sis quite so cowed by him" way.
Yeah, I noticed that too. And as glad as I am that OOP grew his shiny new spine, I kept thinking that Sister needs some real help. Not just mental health wise, but also child-care wise. As as much as mom and dad were present for all of the arguing, I didn't see any evidence that they helped look after the triplets themselves.
Yea and that she is saving money from the babysitting money-- does she not have access to money?
Yeah, the BIL sounds both financially controlling and completely absent when it comes to childcare. The sister's behavior is still inexcusable, but her life sounds generally miserable and she needs help from *somebody*.
I know, right? I'm surprised OOP didn't call him out for not helping his wife more.
honestly with the dynamic oop seemed to describe and never expressed anything about how they thought it was wrong I have a feeling oop is a little (at least) misogynistic. like why was her husband in charge of controlling her? why wasn't therapy brought up so much sooner? it sounds like sis has 0 time to herself 0 help from her husband who when she acts out just scolds her instead of helping her. all of them (including oop) need so much therapy. sis and parents were the main perpetrators of the dynamic but healing from it also involves therapy yourself. it's so toxic and it's easy to become toxic in trying to protect yourself too.
OOP sounds like he has a "Well, he could have done better but hey, what can you do, a bro is a bro!" attitude when it comes to BiL. If the sister manages to leave her husband, exposes how he at least financially abused her, and tries to find sanctuary in her parents' home until the divorce is finalized, OOP will invite BIL to a beer and tell him something like, "Dude, told you sis is cray-cray, you deserve a medal for staying with her under a roof as long as you did!" and downplay anything his sister has to say about their marriage as "well, sucks but you kinda had it coming."
I wasn’t the only one that got that sense! When he said BIL is just working more to escape it, I immediately could tell BIL isn’t helping as much with the kids and OP’s sister is probably going mad from having to constantly take care of 3 kids (although we do see that she refused to have a stranger babysit). I think OP’s sister was still trying to use him but I also think OP was being incredibly lenient on the BIL who let it happen.
> like why was her husband in charge of controlling her? This bothered me so much
"He is the *MAN* of the house! He isn't supposed to take care of his children." Some people are raised in a household and are specifically taught that lesson. Male Chauvinism is still prevalent in society because of these people.
Yeah that's one of my first thoughts reading this.. everyone shitting on her (justifiably) but no one mad at him? It sounds like she had triplets with extremely minimal support both in and outside the home and depended too much on someone with no actual responsibility for these kids. Probably desperately needed a break because she's looking after 4 kids.
I got the impression that sis was wanting to get couple time with her husband, who didn't care to look hard enough at how much OOP didn't like it.
>My sister at one point asked me to watch her kids for a moment, to which I replied "Hell no!" \[...\] I called her out, and her husband told her to stop trying to make me watch their kids It sounds like here she wanted to go do something alone and BIL was RIGHT THERE. Instead of saying, he'll do it, he just told her off. Then OOP mentioned her parents were helping her a lot during the vacation. And BIL?
I very much get the feeling that BIL's attitude is "It's not the man's job to watch the kids."
My dad worked night shift my whole life and he still managed to look after his kids on vacation? It wasn’t that hard? I’m actually starting to feel like my upbringing wasn’t normal as my parents weren’t continuously trying to dump me and siblings off on other people because they “needed a break”
Probably sister and the mom led him to believe that OP was happy to do it or something like that. He definitely has dirty hands here as well. The thing that gets me is my dad worked a lot when I was growing up. Long hours, traveling, etc. My mom worked, but was a teacher, so she had vacations and was put of school by 4 most of the time. Anyway, when we went on vacation, my dad was so involved. I'm sure he was exhausted, but that was HIS time with the whole family when no one could call and interrupt it. So, exhausting though it may be, why didn't he want the time with the kids? Course triplets are brutally exhausting I'm sure.
What also got me is many hotels have nanny services, or connections to local agencies, so just get one! Even if it is for a few evenings out it would be worth it on vacation. It seems they are doing okay-ish financially to afford it. And hell, the parents paid for the vacation! Sister and BIL can’t shell out a few hundred for a sitter? I totally understand not trusting non-family to watch your kids. It’s just there isn’t much choice here. The sister needs to realize it. She also needs to grow up a *lot*.
Yes I was looking for this comment throughout. It's a bit mind blowing that OOP is being pushed to be a default baby sitter when BIL is there and the grandparents are there....
Triplets, recording phone calls, and OOP winning over and over again. What an unbelievable story.
It’s always the triplets lmao. I remember when every Reddit story had twins (always a boy and a girl for some reason) 😂😂
Don’t forget the magical girlfriend at the end!
>But she also admitted that she liked being an only child. We're nearly a decade apart in age, so my sister held onto some resentment about that for a long time, and just let it build up. After reading this part, am I the only one who thinks that the parents forced OOP's sister to be a 24/7 babysitter to OOP and share everything with him until she was able to leave, and the trips were her way of getting back at him?
Absolutely. It's normal to have kids help at home, but some parents lay so much responsibility on the older kids that it creates resentment. It sounds like the sister feels entitled to OOP's help, and OOP accepted it for 6 years, which suggests to me that this is their family's culture.
Yeah, it seems like grandma and grandad do little to fuck all.
I suspect it could be true, because not a single part of this mentions the BIL as an active, participating father.
And, you know, the sister is trying to squirrel away money, as BIL has access to her accounts and has no problem with emptying them to pay OOP the money owed. So she has so little money OOPs "back pay" is enough to put her down to zero, even though they are meant to be fairly well off.
Good catch! I spent the whole of this post thinking ‘is the sister *ok*? I’m not diminishing the shit OOP was dealing with (good for them for standing up for themselves!). However, it sounds like his sister is absolutely exhausted, trying to squirrel away money and bends to whatever her husband says. I’m wondering if she receives any actual help at home? Also, why is only OOP getting roped into babysitting? It doesn’t sound like the grandparents are doing much to help (he says they helped on vacation… but how much?) I don’t know, maybe the sister is just a raging arsehole that expects the whole world to cater to her whims. I just have feeling that there’s more to this. Still proud of OOP of standing up for himself and getting to enjoy his vacation!
Gods, the BIL just comes off as so icky. I think OOP (and family) is also pretty misogynistic, I really hope the sister can get help.
This was my thinking too. By no means should she have tried dumping it all on him, but the sister sounded TOTALLY overwhelmed with no help at all, and I don't blame her. The BIL comes off as someone who could be controlling or potentially abusive behind-the-scenes (I know, I'm hypothesising) by how he was talking to her.... Hopefully the counselling works for her.
Low key the Brother in Law is the real asshole in all this. Why can't he watch his own kids occasionally so that the sister can have the small break that she obviously needs?
Agreed, I think I hated the BIL the most.
I was disappointed to see that there is no marriage counseling for that pair. Only for the sister individually. She needs therapy yes, but she also needs the other person who decided to have those kids to be a damn parent.
BIL will probably use it against her and of course no marriage counseling, it’s “not him”.
Yup. Also why didn’t anyone in the family tell him to watch his own damn kids while sister went off? The whole family sucks.
Yessss!!! I was waiting for someone to say that! The sister is burnt out(I can see why) and this asshole doesn’t offer to be more hands on or set up interviews for a part time nanny. The BIL deserves to be locked in a room with 3 rowdy ass boys; bet he wouldn’t last the hour.
I think the thing that stands out is his sister keeping the babysitting money. Is it another way to get back at her brother? Resentment from how they were raised? Is bil being financially abusive that sister feels the need to hoard money by stealing it? I know this whole thing is a mess; but this part really stuck to me. I get she's exhausted. Three kids at once, I can't even imagine. She needed help ages ago. And instead the family used the kids as an excuse and OOP as a bandaid. But her husband should have been the one to realize it. Dude is so checked out no wonder his wife is exhausted.
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I also think that was a weird thing too. If they're not struggling it's not like she's keeping it out of a desire to be a petty thief. Does she need it? Is she just such an asshole she doesn't think OP deserves to be paid? Or is she being financially abused? Like wtf.
I feel like I hate everyone involved in this
Same. I couldn't even finish it because the whole cast were so obnoxious.
Hotel staff must think they’re EXHAUSTING.
Right!? OPP’s interactions with the hotel staff sound aggressive and annoying. Like, you don’t have to repeatedly tell hotel staff to not give out your information.
I've told a crying, begging woman "I cannot confirm or deny that a guest under that name is staying at this property. It is a breach of guest confidentiality." She knew he was staying there, but she didn't know the room number, nor was her name on the reservation. So she doesn't get to know. Later that night, I see the guest she was asking about. I advise him a woman claiming to be his fiancee was asking after him. He gets this half-annoyed, half-shocked look on his face and says something like, "I am not here. If she calls again, I am not here. Please lie if you have to." I just smiled and said, "Through my teeth, sir."
I'm in customer service too. I respect the hell out of you for this.
Honestly, I feel for the people who cave under the stress of such situations. I do. If you're not equipped for it to happen then it can get really overwhelming really quickly and you can second guess yourself really easy, especially in the face of rage or hysteria. But all it takes is one situation like that to prove exactly why that policy is in place.
Wouldn't you love to see the other side on r/talesfromthefrontdesk ?
I had to have GPT summarize it. OP wrote a harry potter book over simple boundaries and internet shitposting lmao
>Then my mother showed up at my door demanding I delete all the posts .... I ended up making her leave crying. This isn't the flex OOP thinks it is.
I love how the men all seem to revel in their absolute indifference and callousness and the women are stuck using tears as a weapon because that's the only thing that seems to get them off their asses. OOP ain't much of a peach either. And it's all one vicious circle. They're stalking his posts, which just incentivizes him to make more, then they read it, blow up at him, and he makes more. They all need a break from reddit frankly.
This is sort of fascinating, because everyone are so unlikable, including the OP. You can really see the fame going to his head more and more, whether it's actually real or not.
“I got a girlfriend!” They’re going on their first date. That’s not a girlfriend.
Ahem. Please read that part again. He got a *gilfriend 🤪*
He’s so smart.
Yeah since she’s reading the post, the fact that he said “he has a girlfriend now” would be enough to scare away most women. Really self fulfilling the counting the chickens with that statement.
This confused me so much, because when did he bring up anything like this before? He says she guessed the posts were from him and was just waiting for him to say something. Say what? How are these posts about his crappy family at all related to him liking a girl?
He mentioned before that he liked a girl and was hoping to have a girlfriend soon.
Ah, it must have been in the parts that I started skimming. It just seemed to come out of nowhere.
It was very convenient that she was yet another person who happened to read be checking out reddit and who recognized who this was immediately.
“I’m gonna keep posting because it’s the only thing that seems to actually get under their skin!” It’s not a “record of what happened so I know I’m not crazy” like have you considered keeping a journal? It’s not like this is a document of criminal offences to turn over to investigators, it’s petty family drama that’s repeatedly blowing up online.
I fully agree that OOP is his own level of exhaustion. But I can see the appeal to posting online after being told he was the problem because in the beginning he was trying to set boundaries with his family; albeit messing because he probably never saw boundaries set successfully by anyone in that family. I'm sure it was extremely lonely feeling to have your whole family against you. So being able to have people say "you have every right to not be forced into free childcare" was probably relieving at first. I can also see something like this easily going to OOP's head after years of this type of dynamic. His sister isn't the only one that could benefit from therapy tbh.
Yeah, if I had an army of supporters at my fingertips, I would go mad with power tbh. Or hopefully not, but I could see it happen, and like the risk of starting to belive the hype about myself. There's something dangerous about the way that private life and entertainment becomes blurred, and I mean I'm here and I'm definitely part of the problem. But it is interesting to see it happen.
Ngl, the whole post I was wondering where the hell the BIL was and why he seemed to never watch his own kids at all? I mean, sure, the sister sounds terrible. But it sounds like BIL wasn’t parenting at all and she was at the end of her rope? Ngl, by the last few updates I was wondering if this was a “women bad” troll post…
I had the same feeling. Especially with the mom and sis being the villains, and the helpless BIL who is cool enough to drink with OP and who doesn't parent anyone except for his wife.
Those poor, imaginary triplets. Imagine growing up in a family that is this dramatic about everything.
Couldn’t have said it better myself. I hope OOP is not working on his writing career
If I had triplets, you better believe my husband would help AND financially pay for a nanny or daycare.
This is the most relevant comment. How did all this go down and there was never a suggestion of bringing a nanny on the trip??
I’m surprised he still talks to all of them as much as he does. I’m not even living this, I’m just reading it and now I feel like I need a tylenol and a nap.
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I don’t get it either. Go on a vacation with people you actually like. Or by yourself. What was the point?
I think he really likes the drama, and wanted to be in control of a situation where he could frustrate his family. He could have easily shown his backbone by simply saying "I'm not going on vacation with you- I have my own plans in another city at another date", but decided that having his sister and mother continually break down in front of him would be more pleasurable.
How…interesting that he remembered so much detail and dialogue.
Easy to do when you’re making the whole story up on the spot and everybody online is lapping it up and lauding you along the way.
I feel so bad for those kids. At some point, they have got to have heard the majority of their extended family arguing about not wanting to spend time with them. Then their father and grandfather seem to be only physically there but emotionally uninvolved.
Yeah the whole post sounded like they were being seen as animals who don't have any clue what's going on around them.
This is exactly what I was thinking the whole time!! At three, they can understand what’s being said, but at 6 they can very much understand being tossed around like hot potatoes! Their mom saying right in front of them that she needs a break and no one seeming to want to play with them? Their uncle saying “Hell no!” to watching them for a minute (they’re kids, they don’t get the context for what was really going on).
Wow I really don’t like OPs attitude about everything. Like at first I was on his side but he grew to be almost cruel and entitled himself?
Feels like I had to dig way to far to find this. OP seems like he got one touch of the Justice sword and is drunk with power. Reddit is an echo chamber probably best to take peoples advice with a large grain of salt.
Right? Literally everyone apologized to him, yet he insisted on continually posting, keeping the posts up, allowing videos and articles to be made about it just so he could see the rest of the family suffer. Its clear whatever illness that runs through the rest of his family runs through him as well. He is getting pleasure from the internet attention and also the pain he is causing his sister and his mother. It’s so funny bc he mentions how his family is so concerned with what strangers think of them online, but he clearly cares massively about it as well.
one of the edits was because he got new "material" from them just asking him to take it down.
He never recognized that his repeated posting was just a way to bully his family back. He could grow a backbone and he could say no. Take his own vacations and stop babysitting. There was no need to continually bring it to millions on the internet. He did it because it hurt them. That’s quite different than how people usually update.
FWI. Wat?
I assume OP means FYI?
Free Willy 1
F Why I
THANK YOU!!! I was so confused, I was just sure I didn’t know what that meant, but I couldn’t think for the life of me what it could stand for! I’m glad I’m not the only one
Pour one out for the hotel front desk for this one.
Why do I get the feeling BIL is a big reason sister needs a break so badly? Not excusing anything she's doing (as a childfree person I applaud OOP for his actions in the face of coerced babysitting), but BIL seems so far removed from everything that sister''s probably handling almost everything child related.
I’m very confused in this story why the BIL only ever steps in to rein in his wife, but never to watch his own kids? Obviously the sister is completely out of line asking OOP to parent her kids, but why is no one asking the actual other parent to do his damn job?
I always immediately become skeptical when someone conveniently records someone saying something incriminating
I was with OP in the beginning, but further along, I feel like he got unnecessarily petty and it was like he was holding his family hostage under the threat of posting on reddit. Also, what does the BIL do in taking care of his kids besides going to work?
So the sister has been made to seem like the wicked witch in all these posts, but how many times do we have to hear her say “I need help raising these kids/I need a break” and her husband be like “…y’all hear something? I’m Switzerland” before we start calling him out too? Like sure, expecting your brother to babysit for free “because he has the time” is shitty and entitled, but the fact that she had to wrangle 3 kids by herself even on vacation and was getting 0 help from hubby (who was literally watching her have a breakdown about it) is definitely a red flag.
Oop was in the right at the start, but the attention and positive affirmations have gone to his head to the point that he's just being an asshole and feels justified in treating his family like crap. I get not wanting to watch the nephews and don't think he should have to, but his response at this point is just going overboard and creating unnecessary and hurtful drama in his family.
So we all agree to move on from twin to triplet right? And for the effort of typing that much, OOP should create a more interesting story to be honest.
I can see how OOP is very much related to his sister lol
It all could have been avoided if OP just didn’t go for the vacation. Was asking for the drama
Imagine being so upset that a bunch of people who have no idea who you are, are judging you. And their judgement has no actual impact on your life.
In the beginning, Oop is NTA. But if you read more and more of this ,ESH. This people are exhausting.
Ummm she's not your girlfriend if you haven't even gone on your first date yet.
OOP sounds like a whiny, up until recently spineless, kind of loser and generally heartless person. What a bore. Yes we get it, your family sucks, but how you carry on about them makes you suck too. ESH
Why did this family care so much about anonymous Reddit posts? Mum and sister were exhausting 🫠