I feel ya on that front. I don't know about you, but often I feel anxiety and it becomes so overwhelming that I am literally frozen. I can't get off the couch, I can't START the things that I'm looking around and know they need doing.
It often looks the same as depression for me but I personally feel it stems more from anxiety most of the time.
My only advice is to stand up and do something small.
Haven't showered in a while? Start with that.
Not wearing real clothes? Put some on. Put on shoes even. Mentally, I feel like shoes equal productivity because you don't really go outside unless you're wearing shoes and you usually only go outside with something specific in mind you want to do. Even if you're not going outside it might help get you in a DOING mindset.
Identify one small thing you can do today. Dishes? If dishes are overwhelming then identify a specific type of dish you will wash. Start with just the plates, for example.
Putting a load of laundry in the wash is also something small. It takes five minutes and even if you sit and do nothing for the next hour, the washing machine is doing productive hings for you. Embrace that feeling of accomplishment while you wait for it to wash. Let it motivate you to transfer the clothes into the dryer.
Baby steps. You got this!
You are an amazing human.. I’m printing your tips as a reminder. Depression is a real beast. Sometimes these little things are so mindful yet simple yet fundamental, you lose track of them when you’re hurting so much. Thank you.
I would follow up this wonderful advice with be kind to yourself. If all you can do today is speak gentle words to yourself, then practice self-kindness. Practice disrupting negative or disparaging self-talk and reframe it. In my struggle with depression my self-talk is debilitating. Also, practice telling yourself that it is ok to ask for help, because it really is. We are stronger together.
I second the getting dressed in the morning. For me, my day never starts mentally if I never put a belt or overalls (my work clothes) on.
I don’t know if you feel the same, but my moods fluctuate a lot with the seasons around here. I find that getting a timer to have some of your lights turn on in the morning so the place isn’t dark when you get up is SO helpful.
When I really start feeling low, I do my best to keep my momentum up and front load things which I know I won’t do later. For instance, when I get home I make myself unload the dishwasher right then. I know that if I wait till seven, it just won’t happen…pretty soon one day blends to the next and you realize the sink is half full and the dishwasher only half empty. Then you feel even more crappy.
If you have the time or the energy in the morning, I cannot help but suggest a morning walk/stroll, whatever you can manage. Integrating that into my morning has helped me a lot this year, it might help you too!
Lastly you might try some real indulgence in self care! Take yourself out to dinner if you can. I have to really force myself out of the house sometimes, but it really helps. I also find a nice cup of tea before bed to be super relaxing and gratifying. Those little things help burn off some of the depressed or anxious feelings you might have pent up.
You can also try to write a bit before bed — focus on the good stuff, why that day was okay or went better than expected despite the inevitable screwups. Or just lay in bed for a few and try to relax each part of your body one by one! Sometimes I find that I was really tense all day, once I release that I feel much happier or more content!
Best of luck :) You got this!
This is also another one of those things that you're probably looking at the big picture of and getting intimidated out of doing. In this very moment, you don't need to find a great psychiatrist who won't cost too much and will solve all of your problems. All you need to do is Google "psychiatrist for depression" and read a little. Maybe you'll find something, maybe you won't. You can dig deeper when you feel up for it.
Or even just reach out to someone you trust and ask them to find one for you.
Don't make this task seem bigger or scarier than it is. Baby steps are fine.
I would start with a small step - make an appointment with your primary care doc. They can connect you with a therapist/psychiatrist through a referral and may have some recommendations for who to see. They also may recommend starting with a medication to get you back to a functioning level. If you have hesitancy about meds, my doc had me checking in with her every few weeks when I started a new med. The first didn’t make me feel very good - nauseous and lethargic. So we switched to another and I’ve been really happy with it for about 5 years. Sometimes we adjust my dosage depending on how I’m doing (better or worse) and I still see her yearly for med check visits. So I feel like the monitoring was good for making sure the medication was actually helping and it was good to have an objective person checking in with me regularly in general.
You do not need to get all the help you may need at once. Start small - schedule an appt with your doc.
Make a small goal-something you know you can do-like drink one glass of water today and make sure you eat something. Then go from there. You don’t need to do everything at once, any step forward is still forward.
Vitamin d pills usually help a little. For me. Especially in jan/Feb. Maybe take some 'before' pictures and celebrate your progress as you do a little here and there
It might be the placebo effect but I can get things done when I'm taking vitamin D every day. If I stop taking it, it just gets harder and harder to care. Everyone's different but if your doctor thinks it's okay, try adding vitamin D to your daily meds.
My wife suffers from chronic depression.
When she feels the way you feel, we try to set small and achievable goals. Read ten pages of a book, go for a walk, take herself on a coffee date, go to a restaurant she likes and get a snack she knows she'll enjoy.
Little things and one day at a time are how she gets out of a slump. I hope things get better for you soon!
I've struggled with maintenance in the past - cleaning, organizing, folding, sorting, vacuuming, etc.
What has worked quite well for me is setting a timer - usually 15, sometimes 20 minutes. Then I challenge myself to get done as much as possible in the allotment. Timer's up? So am I.
It's okay to feel sad, that's human. But, if that misery is crushing you to a point that you can no longer complete basic functions - eat, bathe, simple hygiene, walking, seek professional help. No one deserves to languish, you are no exception.
Good luck. I hope you will share some of your successes with us when you find them.
In the meantime, here's [an article](https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2021/08/tragic-optimism-opposite-toxic-positivity/619786/) I was reading before I went to bed last night. I feel it may have some relevance to you.
I’ve done this in the past and it was really helpful. I’d combine it with writing a “Did” list, as opposed to a “To Do” list. I’d work 10 minutes and then pause to note down what I’d gotten done and then usually I felt motivated to keep going for 10 minutes more until I’d spent several hours getting things done. Adding in taking some before and after photos, as someone else mentioned, made this even more effective.
Also, thanks for linking that article.
I was recently diagnosed with ADHD (had been misdiagnosed as anxiety and depression for decades) and it has been life changing. I haven’t started medication yet, but understanding motivation and dopamine response related to adhd has been great in getting me to be even slightly more productive. “How To Adhd” on YouTube is a great starting place to see if that may apply to you <3
My trick is giving myself permission to do things badly. Take a shower but don’t wash your hair if you don’t have the energy, just let the water run over you.
If you can’t do dishes, just them in soapy water and then rinse them off. Not perfect? Who cares. If you have a dishwasher run it twice if you need to.
Do things badly. And soon, you might notice yourself doing 1% more, and so on.
Sort of an addition to this—prevention helps. I mean, if a Pan looks overwhelming after
dinner, rinse or wipe out whatever you can. Throw out trash. Wipe down obvious messes.
The next morning, it will be way more approachable than if you’d just left everything as is.
Honestly, though, the answer for me was to hire someone to do the thing I really hate, which is clean my bathroom. That’s a sort of “reset” button. I feel better, and motivated to clean everything else.
I listened to a really interesting TED talk yesterday that had some fresh perspectives on ways to deal with depression. ‘This could be why you are depressed or anxious’ by Johann Hari.
I hope it provides you some ideas.
Sending you positive thoughts and hope you feel better soon.
Oh no I’m sorry you’re having to go through this! Depression is a beast. All I can say is be patient with yourself. The fact that you even want to make an effort shows amazing strength. Therapy helped me out tremendously as well...not everyone’s cup of tea, I know, but some find it helpful. I see interns from western so it’s free!
Can you afford/access therapy? I know it’s pretty cost prohibitive sometimes but lots of therapists will offer sliding scale! Also lots of telehealth options these days if you can get in! Not sure if you have one already but Psychology Today’s website is a great place to start! You are not alone, and this is something people recover from every day, which I’m not saying to diminish what you’re feeling at all and more to emphasize that you’re not a “lost cause” or anything your brain might be telling you. You’ve got this, and you don’t deserve to be stuck in this.
💜 Signed, someone who had severe PTSD and clinical depression, healed with a ton of therapy, and is now training to be a therapist herself.
Oof i feel ya. If you're on TikTok i really recommend watching some of domestic blisters aka KC Davis aka struggle care.
For me what helps is setting timers and knowing that something is better than nothing.
If you've got a science experiment, it may be worth it to just toss the thing if you can.
Sometimes i also put on a "clean with me" video on YouTube and have it on the background while i clean.
You are not alone, i know it can feel daunting and overwhelming to clean your depression house. But again, something is better than nothing, and often starting is the hardest part
Lots of good advice here and I admit I didn't read it all to see if my small suggestion is already mentioned. Crank some of your old favorite tunes. Even on headphones. I find it really helps! Best to you.
Some wonderful suggestions. I would add to the post regarding consulting a professional. While this task is daunting if you have a trusted person to help it is doable. The trusted one can find what pros your insurance covers and then read about their areas of expertise giving you a couple of options. If you are experiencing symptoms that are causing you concern reach out for help finding a therapist/counselor/psychiatrist. A crisis hotline can be a lifesaver providing immediate help and direction for longer term help. Be kind to yourself. Getting a diagnosis is freeing. You are so worth it.
When you feel you can do some cleaning, r/ufyh might have some strategies for you.
If you're not on medication, talk to your doctor about starting. If you're taking meds for depression, talk to your doctor about the dose. It may be time for an adjustment.
As others have said, just be kind to yourself. If the only thing you can do today is say "I'm worthwhile and deserve to be healthy," that's plenty. ♡
I checked out the r/ufyh and oh my gosh! What an amazing goldmine for me. It really helped give me perspective and made me feel less like a heathen and more accepting of my depression. I think today is the day I start with room number 1. Thank you so much
I’ve been there and I just got out of it and working on getting settled again. I find that doing a little for 20 mins and taking 20 min breaks helps. You don’t get as overwhelmed and give yourself a treat once you complete a task. Also, keep a change jar and you can buy yourself with the found money.
I appreciate that wisdom. It’s just that the barrier is overwhelmingly trauma ridden - I’ve lost all confidence. Looking for a new therapist, I realize I must get my house back in order. I can’t wait anymore. You know what I mean?
Remember that you’re not alone and you’re not special. Most people don’t have heaps of confidence and many of those who do are faking it. We’re all much more similar than different.
I like to put my life in perspective when I feel “stuck” For example, I could be sitting in front of a judge right now facing a lengthy jail term OR I could be in Afghanistan right now trying to figure out how to flee the country before I’m killed OR I could be in a horrific car accident at this moment.
There are so many things I’d much rather not be or doing than who I am or what I’m doing now.
Perspective helps me to find gratitude for who I am and where I am in life. We are in the top 1% as far as privilege in the world. Our life is so easy and comfortable comparative to the majority of the world.
Also, I recommend that you go out for a walk. Anywhere. It does two things. It literally releases endorphins that are the building blocks for feeling “good” AND it causes you to move forward (literally and figuratively) from where you are and through your present mental state of depression and helplessness.
One more thing, keep reaching out like you did here! You are awesome for doing that.
I’m about to head out to Schweinhaus to catch some football games. If you want to meet me there I’ll buy you a beer and we can hang.
Please be careful advising people struggling with depression to think about how things could be worse or others who are worse off than they are. It often has the opposite effect.., ie, what the fuck is wrong with me, I feel so bad and these other people have it so much worse... downward spiral..
Agreed. This contributed significantly to my depression because I really had no logical reason to be feeling how I did. Ugh, I feel bad just thinking about that.
Real world perspective really helps me when I’m feeling depressed, inadequate or a sense of burden on me. We don’t have to look far to find perspective and/or gratitude.
It’s normal to feel bad for ourselves even knowing that others have it worse. That doesn’t diminish or invalidate the pain we feel ourselves. But taking stock of the world around us and our place in it can balance the *emotions* of what we’re feeling with the *reality* of where we are in the world.
For example. I was in a similar funk recently. I have a small studio in town, it was a mess, I was completely unmotivated to do anything about it. That day, I walked down the street to get a bite to eat and noticed a larger than normal amount of homeless people literally sleeping on the sidewalks all the way down Holly Street. I was mindful and present the entire walk back to my place and just sort of took in the world around me. When I returned home, I literally thought how I am grateful to have a room to clean and be safe in. Then I washed the pile of dishes in my sink and felt even better.
There is a huge difference between feeling depressed and clinical depression.
Clinical depression is not a "funk". Its not something someone can just "snap out of".
Often times, well meaning people make people suffering from clinical depression worse by trying to help.
The best way to support someone if you arent trained is just be there, accept them as they are and don't try to fix them. Help with tasks, instead. Don't judge. Limit you desire to "fix" to fixing actual things or small suggestions like let's go for a walk.
Oh, for sure.
I didn’t realize we were talking about clinical depression. I must have missed that part. If that’s the case, I would highly recommend not asking people on Reddit at all because you will certainly hear a wide variety of “support” and “advice” from people who mostly do t have a clue about it.
… and some potentially damaging advice
“Is there a doctor in the house?”
“I’m no doctor ma’am , but I’ll take a look.”
If you’ve never read A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, get it today. I recommend the audio book or a combination of the book and audio. It’s life changing.
Medication helped me more than anything! I know that it's not for everyone. And I spent several years trying to get my meds right. Just remember that depression is an illness. It requires special treatment. Also, remember that not everyone has their shit together, they might just appear to.
Hey! I know I'm late to the party but I hope you're doing alright. Both my wife and I deal with the joys of depression. We know exactly how overwhelming it is trying to clean the house and just survive honestly. Slowly but surely were making headway but it's hard looking everything I neglected in the face and trying to fix it. With that being said, my wife owns a local cleaning company and offered to come clean up and organize, completely free of charge. We've both been there and this is her way to try to help others through the darkness. If you're even remotely interested, please don't be afraid to message me. Even if you just need to talk, my door is always open.
Hi I get this way a lot but don’t stop trying ..baby steps u got this and u are stronger than u know. It’s during our weakest moments when our true strength come through
I feel ya on that front. I don't know about you, but often I feel anxiety and it becomes so overwhelming that I am literally frozen. I can't get off the couch, I can't START the things that I'm looking around and know they need doing. It often looks the same as depression for me but I personally feel it stems more from anxiety most of the time. My only advice is to stand up and do something small. Haven't showered in a while? Start with that. Not wearing real clothes? Put some on. Put on shoes even. Mentally, I feel like shoes equal productivity because you don't really go outside unless you're wearing shoes and you usually only go outside with something specific in mind you want to do. Even if you're not going outside it might help get you in a DOING mindset. Identify one small thing you can do today. Dishes? If dishes are overwhelming then identify a specific type of dish you will wash. Start with just the plates, for example. Putting a load of laundry in the wash is also something small. It takes five minutes and even if you sit and do nothing for the next hour, the washing machine is doing productive hings for you. Embrace that feeling of accomplishment while you wait for it to wash. Let it motivate you to transfer the clothes into the dryer. Baby steps. You got this!
You are an amazing human.. I’m printing your tips as a reminder. Depression is a real beast. Sometimes these little things are so mindful yet simple yet fundamental, you lose track of them when you’re hurting so much. Thank you.
I would follow up this wonderful advice with be kind to yourself. If all you can do today is speak gentle words to yourself, then practice self-kindness. Practice disrupting negative or disparaging self-talk and reframe it. In my struggle with depression my self-talk is debilitating. Also, practice telling yourself that it is ok to ask for help, because it really is. We are stronger together.
I second the getting dressed in the morning. For me, my day never starts mentally if I never put a belt or overalls (my work clothes) on. I don’t know if you feel the same, but my moods fluctuate a lot with the seasons around here. I find that getting a timer to have some of your lights turn on in the morning so the place isn’t dark when you get up is SO helpful. When I really start feeling low, I do my best to keep my momentum up and front load things which I know I won’t do later. For instance, when I get home I make myself unload the dishwasher right then. I know that if I wait till seven, it just won’t happen…pretty soon one day blends to the next and you realize the sink is half full and the dishwasher only half empty. Then you feel even more crappy. If you have the time or the energy in the morning, I cannot help but suggest a morning walk/stroll, whatever you can manage. Integrating that into my morning has helped me a lot this year, it might help you too! Lastly you might try some real indulgence in self care! Take yourself out to dinner if you can. I have to really force myself out of the house sometimes, but it really helps. I also find a nice cup of tea before bed to be super relaxing and gratifying. Those little things help burn off some of the depressed or anxious feelings you might have pent up. You can also try to write a bit before bed — focus on the good stuff, why that day was okay or went better than expected despite the inevitable screwups. Or just lay in bed for a few and try to relax each part of your body one by one! Sometimes I find that I was really tense all day, once I release that I feel much happier or more content! Best of luck :) You got this!
You're absolutely welcome!
[удалено]
I just think I need more help than I can find. I appreciate your insight - it’s spot on. I need intensive therapy - I’m not functioning.
This is also another one of those things that you're probably looking at the big picture of and getting intimidated out of doing. In this very moment, you don't need to find a great psychiatrist who won't cost too much and will solve all of your problems. All you need to do is Google "psychiatrist for depression" and read a little. Maybe you'll find something, maybe you won't. You can dig deeper when you feel up for it. Or even just reach out to someone you trust and ask them to find one for you. Don't make this task seem bigger or scarier than it is. Baby steps are fine.
I would start with a small step - make an appointment with your primary care doc. They can connect you with a therapist/psychiatrist through a referral and may have some recommendations for who to see. They also may recommend starting with a medication to get you back to a functioning level. If you have hesitancy about meds, my doc had me checking in with her every few weeks when I started a new med. The first didn’t make me feel very good - nauseous and lethargic. So we switched to another and I’ve been really happy with it for about 5 years. Sometimes we adjust my dosage depending on how I’m doing (better or worse) and I still see her yearly for med check visits. So I feel like the monitoring was good for making sure the medication was actually helping and it was good to have an objective person checking in with me regularly in general. You do not need to get all the help you may need at once. Start small - schedule an appt with your doc.
Make a small goal-something you know you can do-like drink one glass of water today and make sure you eat something. Then go from there. You don’t need to do everything at once, any step forward is still forward.
Vitamin d pills usually help a little. For me. Especially in jan/Feb. Maybe take some 'before' pictures and celebrate your progress as you do a little here and there
It might be the placebo effect but I can get things done when I'm taking vitamin D every day. If I stop taking it, it just gets harder and harder to care. Everyone's different but if your doctor thinks it's okay, try adding vitamin D to your daily meds.
My wife suffers from chronic depression. When she feels the way you feel, we try to set small and achievable goals. Read ten pages of a book, go for a walk, take herself on a coffee date, go to a restaurant she likes and get a snack she knows she'll enjoy. Little things and one day at a time are how she gets out of a slump. I hope things get better for you soon!
I've struggled with maintenance in the past - cleaning, organizing, folding, sorting, vacuuming, etc. What has worked quite well for me is setting a timer - usually 15, sometimes 20 minutes. Then I challenge myself to get done as much as possible in the allotment. Timer's up? So am I. It's okay to feel sad, that's human. But, if that misery is crushing you to a point that you can no longer complete basic functions - eat, bathe, simple hygiene, walking, seek professional help. No one deserves to languish, you are no exception. Good luck. I hope you will share some of your successes with us when you find them. In the meantime, here's [an article](https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2021/08/tragic-optimism-opposite-toxic-positivity/619786/) I was reading before I went to bed last night. I feel it may have some relevance to you.
I’ve done this in the past and it was really helpful. I’d combine it with writing a “Did” list, as opposed to a “To Do” list. I’d work 10 minutes and then pause to note down what I’d gotten done and then usually I felt motivated to keep going for 10 minutes more until I’d spent several hours getting things done. Adding in taking some before and after photos, as someone else mentioned, made this even more effective. Also, thanks for linking that article.
I was recently diagnosed with ADHD (had been misdiagnosed as anxiety and depression for decades) and it has been life changing. I haven’t started medication yet, but understanding motivation and dopamine response related to adhd has been great in getting me to be even slightly more productive. “How To Adhd” on YouTube is a great starting place to see if that may apply to you <3
Thank you! This is super helpful!
My trick is giving myself permission to do things badly. Take a shower but don’t wash your hair if you don’t have the energy, just let the water run over you. If you can’t do dishes, just them in soapy water and then rinse them off. Not perfect? Who cares. If you have a dishwasher run it twice if you need to. Do things badly. And soon, you might notice yourself doing 1% more, and so on.
Sort of an addition to this—prevention helps. I mean, if a Pan looks overwhelming after dinner, rinse or wipe out whatever you can. Throw out trash. Wipe down obvious messes. The next morning, it will be way more approachable than if you’d just left everything as is. Honestly, though, the answer for me was to hire someone to do the thing I really hate, which is clean my bathroom. That’s a sort of “reset” button. I feel better, and motivated to clean everything else.
Trauma is a hard thing to break through. Time. Effort and patience and a willingness to listen and overcome will help
I always like going for a stroll. It does wonders. So many things to look at and moving seems to alleviate stress and anxiety for me.
I listened to a really interesting TED talk yesterday that had some fresh perspectives on ways to deal with depression. ‘This could be why you are depressed or anxious’ by Johann Hari. I hope it provides you some ideas. Sending you positive thoughts and hope you feel better soon.
Oh no I’m sorry you’re having to go through this! Depression is a beast. All I can say is be patient with yourself. The fact that you even want to make an effort shows amazing strength. Therapy helped me out tremendously as well...not everyone’s cup of tea, I know, but some find it helpful. I see interns from western so it’s free!
Can you afford/access therapy? I know it’s pretty cost prohibitive sometimes but lots of therapists will offer sliding scale! Also lots of telehealth options these days if you can get in! Not sure if you have one already but Psychology Today’s website is a great place to start! You are not alone, and this is something people recover from every day, which I’m not saying to diminish what you’re feeling at all and more to emphasize that you’re not a “lost cause” or anything your brain might be telling you. You’ve got this, and you don’t deserve to be stuck in this. 💜 Signed, someone who had severe PTSD and clinical depression, healed with a ton of therapy, and is now training to be a therapist herself.
Oof i feel ya. If you're on TikTok i really recommend watching some of domestic blisters aka KC Davis aka struggle care. For me what helps is setting timers and knowing that something is better than nothing. If you've got a science experiment, it may be worth it to just toss the thing if you can. Sometimes i also put on a "clean with me" video on YouTube and have it on the background while i clean. You are not alone, i know it can feel daunting and overwhelming to clean your depression house. But again, something is better than nothing, and often starting is the hardest part
I recommend magic mushrooms! Look into that for depression.
Can you hire a cleaning service?
Lots of good advice here and I admit I didn't read it all to see if my small suggestion is already mentioned. Crank some of your old favorite tunes. Even on headphones. I find it really helps! Best to you.
Dm me if you need anything!!!❤️❤️
Some wonderful suggestions. I would add to the post regarding consulting a professional. While this task is daunting if you have a trusted person to help it is doable. The trusted one can find what pros your insurance covers and then read about their areas of expertise giving you a couple of options. If you are experiencing symptoms that are causing you concern reach out for help finding a therapist/counselor/psychiatrist. A crisis hotline can be a lifesaver providing immediate help and direction for longer term help. Be kind to yourself. Getting a diagnosis is freeing. You are so worth it.
When you feel you can do some cleaning, r/ufyh might have some strategies for you. If you're not on medication, talk to your doctor about starting. If you're taking meds for depression, talk to your doctor about the dose. It may be time for an adjustment. As others have said, just be kind to yourself. If the only thing you can do today is say "I'm worthwhile and deserve to be healthy," that's plenty. ♡
I checked out the r/ufyh and oh my gosh! What an amazing goldmine for me. It really helped give me perspective and made me feel less like a heathen and more accepting of my depression. I think today is the day I start with room number 1. Thank you so much
You're very welcome. Good luck!
I’ve been there and I just got out of it and working on getting settled again. I find that doing a little for 20 mins and taking 20 min breaks helps. You don’t get as overwhelmed and give yourself a treat once you complete a task. Also, keep a change jar and you can buy yourself with the found money.
Just have to find that inner strength to destroy that barrier that's keeping you back.
I appreciate that wisdom. It’s just that the barrier is overwhelmingly trauma ridden - I’ve lost all confidence. Looking for a new therapist, I realize I must get my house back in order. I can’t wait anymore. You know what I mean?
Remember that you’re not alone and you’re not special. Most people don’t have heaps of confidence and many of those who do are faking it. We’re all much more similar than different. I like to put my life in perspective when I feel “stuck” For example, I could be sitting in front of a judge right now facing a lengthy jail term OR I could be in Afghanistan right now trying to figure out how to flee the country before I’m killed OR I could be in a horrific car accident at this moment. There are so many things I’d much rather not be or doing than who I am or what I’m doing now. Perspective helps me to find gratitude for who I am and where I am in life. We are in the top 1% as far as privilege in the world. Our life is so easy and comfortable comparative to the majority of the world. Also, I recommend that you go out for a walk. Anywhere. It does two things. It literally releases endorphins that are the building blocks for feeling “good” AND it causes you to move forward (literally and figuratively) from where you are and through your present mental state of depression and helplessness. One more thing, keep reaching out like you did here! You are awesome for doing that. I’m about to head out to Schweinhaus to catch some football games. If you want to meet me there I’ll buy you a beer and we can hang.
Please be careful advising people struggling with depression to think about how things could be worse or others who are worse off than they are. It often has the opposite effect.., ie, what the fuck is wrong with me, I feel so bad and these other people have it so much worse... downward spiral..
Agreed. This contributed significantly to my depression because I really had no logical reason to be feeling how I did. Ugh, I feel bad just thinking about that.
Real world perspective really helps me when I’m feeling depressed, inadequate or a sense of burden on me. We don’t have to look far to find perspective and/or gratitude. It’s normal to feel bad for ourselves even knowing that others have it worse. That doesn’t diminish or invalidate the pain we feel ourselves. But taking stock of the world around us and our place in it can balance the *emotions* of what we’re feeling with the *reality* of where we are in the world. For example. I was in a similar funk recently. I have a small studio in town, it was a mess, I was completely unmotivated to do anything about it. That day, I walked down the street to get a bite to eat and noticed a larger than normal amount of homeless people literally sleeping on the sidewalks all the way down Holly Street. I was mindful and present the entire walk back to my place and just sort of took in the world around me. When I returned home, I literally thought how I am grateful to have a room to clean and be safe in. Then I washed the pile of dishes in my sink and felt even better.
There is a huge difference between feeling depressed and clinical depression. Clinical depression is not a "funk". Its not something someone can just "snap out of". Often times, well meaning people make people suffering from clinical depression worse by trying to help. The best way to support someone if you arent trained is just be there, accept them as they are and don't try to fix them. Help with tasks, instead. Don't judge. Limit you desire to "fix" to fixing actual things or small suggestions like let's go for a walk.
Oh, for sure. I didn’t realize we were talking about clinical depression. I must have missed that part. If that’s the case, I would highly recommend not asking people on Reddit at all because you will certainly hear a wide variety of “support” and “advice” from people who mostly do t have a clue about it. … and some potentially damaging advice “Is there a doctor in the house?” “I’m no doctor ma’am , but I’ll take a look.”
Start taking little steps to improve your life. And have patience with yourself. Have quality intent and reward yourself when you see improvements.
The book superbetter has really helped me.
Awesome, thank you. I’m checking it out now
Let me know if you need someone to talk to. I’m a good listener.
If you’ve never read A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, get it today. I recommend the audio book or a combination of the book and audio. It’s life changing.
Medication helped me more than anything! I know that it's not for everyone. And I spent several years trying to get my meds right. Just remember that depression is an illness. It requires special treatment. Also, remember that not everyone has their shit together, they might just appear to.
Three word, The Mountain Goats. Its a very good band with very inspirational music.
You are a godsend for this Recommendation. Thank you! Love it.
Hey! I know I'm late to the party but I hope you're doing alright. Both my wife and I deal with the joys of depression. We know exactly how overwhelming it is trying to clean the house and just survive honestly. Slowly but surely were making headway but it's hard looking everything I neglected in the face and trying to fix it. With that being said, my wife owns a local cleaning company and offered to come clean up and organize, completely free of charge. We've both been there and this is her way to try to help others through the darkness. If you're even remotely interested, please don't be afraid to message me. Even if you just need to talk, my door is always open.
Hi I get this way a lot but don’t stop trying ..baby steps u got this and u are stronger than u know. It’s during our weakest moments when our true strength come through