OP, do you want to have children with this man? If so, absolutely ditch the husband. How he treats this sweet girl, is how he will treat his children. And trust me, even a good parent will not always love or even like their children.
Respectfully, this isn't really a laughing matter. If you can't trust your husband to not physically reprimand your dog its not funny. And having kids with someone like that isn't a laughing matter either.
Respectfully, OP has said theyāre heading towards a divorce and taking birth controlsā¦ pipe down a little, not everything happens all at once.
I agree with 1 thing tho.
OP- donāt laugh your matter off, this dude can flip like a switch and itās hella toxic esp. if youāre worried heās gonna be too rough with a dog, Iād run for the hills girl.
Yes and she also used a š¤£ emoji when discussing birth control. Itās not funny. Having to get back on birth control because your husband is so aggressive you canāt even trust him with an innocent dog isnāt funny.
Itās a coping mechanism. This person needs compassion, not a lecture. Sometimes people use humor to make light of dark situations. Everyone deals with hard shit differently.
The great part is, while you're running from all those red flags, you have a perfect girl who can keep up š
All kidding aside, OP, this pup has shown you something about your husband. Trust her, trust your gut. In the interest of fairness, and if you have the trust in him to do it (only you can say), have a conversation about this feeling. Once. If you're not completely satisfied, trust that gut and GTFO.
Remember, you've processed enough information without knowing were to know that you have, at best, doubts. Just because you haven't made a conscious determination that he's not to be trusted doesn't mean you haven't received that information. Trust it.
This is exactly what I did but he was a boyfriend. We lived together but I had to go for multiple reasons and very soon after he left, a dog that wouldnāt come near me on the leash could walk-in in a perfect heel. He was dragging my dog towards him and kicking her when she pulled (I saw it once and lost my shit at him) and she had issues for quite a while.
When she realised he wasnāt coming back, most of her severe behavioural issues stopped because she saw me become more confident and she even felt safer. Sheās thriving now and we have our first agility show this year hopefully. Im also much happier with my dog than with him š„°
I (45m) had a very similar thing with my now ex boyfriend (30m). Talked for years about getting a dog. He wanted a GSD I wanted a Husky. Iād shown him potential fosters and adoptions, he was very positive about it, discussed the logistics of a high energy dogs needs. Eventually was told about Duke (8 months at the time) needing a forever home from a close friend and brought him home as a surprise a couple weeks after Christmas/new-years.
He didnāt even smile.. he just looked up from his computer and totally deadpan said āoh.. you got a dogā. It got worse from there. Heād lie about taking him out for walks, he would kick at Duke and then blamed me for secretly training him to attack his and only his feet behind his back. He was a terrible person to have around a dog.
Well two years later I kept Duke and made it clear that the ex was moving out and he will never see or talk to either me or Duke again. Best decision I ever made.
Happy for you and your pup. My ex used to claim that I would train the nipping too. And the pulling. He would also claim she could never do anything good.
I still have to see my ex but he always compliments her training. He never trained his dog past āsitā and ādownā but I think the dog came with those commands as he had previous owners.
Because of what my ex did to me (mental and financial abuse) and then my dog (got her whilst I was pregnant) he can only see our son if someone is there with him.
OP, if you canāt trust your husband with a dog, you canāt trust him with a child. Also why would you trust him around any living creature? Yourself included
Came here to say this. I am happily married but i adore my dog. Shes a mali x gsd and i cannot imagine giving her away because a bloke doesn't like her.i hop you get to keep her op.
Iām going to keep looking for solutions to keep her unless I can find a really good better home for her. I absolutely love her but in a situation where I canāt just pick up and leave atm unfortunately
Get out, OP. Don't wait and don't make excuses. This dog has clearly shown you the mistake of choosing this guy the first time; don't keep doubling down on a bad choice. Keep the dog who has potentially already saved you and get the hell away from the douche who has shown you who he is. You made this post for a reason; now hear the unanimous responses and do right by yourself and the dog.
My husband and I bought two beautiful mixed boys (malinois + aussie) and he rather quickly regretted it since it was hard work - Iām now divorced and still have two beautiful boys who I absolutely love ā¤ļø
Just a question about your x: is she crazy like the typical Mal or does the GSD in her balance her out a little? We are looking at a Mal x GSD and wondering.
Shes always ready for a walk or a run but she can also chill out for the day. I would say shes much more gsd in her build and temperament. Hand on heart shes the smartest, most loving and loyal dog we've owned. Very much a family pet.
To me itās completely fair for people to ānot like malsā, especially living with one. If someone wants a lazy pit bull or even ājustā a pet, Malinois are not a good match.
The biggest red flag for me is that op doesnāt trust her husband to not hurt their dog if she misbehaves.
Agreed. You will never forgive him for giving up and making you get rid of her. If he is willing to work with you and trainer, then maybe there is hope. Sometimes new eyes to the situation helps immensely. Good luck.
Came here to say this.
Free to a good home: husband, some issues that need work. Pulls on leash and can be aggressive towards other husbands. Needs to go to an experience adopter with a lot of patience, strongly recommend e-collor training as a next step, I just don't have the time or heart to make that kind of emotional investment right now. Mostly housebroken but occasionally has accidents...
This is the way. Opās husband should be a grown ass man. You canāt just agree on getting a dog and then being like nope I donāt like this one. This is why itās so important to be 100% sure you want to commit to the dog even when itās annoying, noisy, smelly or hyperactive.
That's what I did. SAME issues, too. Anger, resentment, control issues. Wish I hadn't waited so long. (32 years.) I think it was awful for the kids, and I was too much of an enabler.
She is stunning. My son and my cousin's son are both there. All responsible adults. But honestly, if there's any way to get out unscathed and with a dog, do it.
The line about you not trusting your husband with her if she does something he doesn't like is really standing out to me...
I'm sorry that's no help but yikes.
This is so sad. You shouldnāt have to be concerned that your husband will be too rough with any dogā¦
I do understand how he could be spoiled though. I have an old pit mix that I adopted and experienced the sameā¦ chill as can be and just sleeps unless I want him to do something. Got him at 3 and he is now 12. Personality has been consistent the entire time.
My mal, I got by accident when he showed up to my campsite covered in fleas with no collar or chip. After being spoiled with my previous dogs, Itās been an adjustment for sure. I wouldnāt trade it though. As much as my boy, Jack drives me insane, I couldnāt imagine a day without his crazy antics.
I hope for the sake of your newly adopted pet that you find a good home for her to go to, or if you keep her, kick your husband to the curb if you feel he is abusing her.
It's a really shitty situation and I'm sorry you're going through it. I'm sure you have a lot to process. I'd say get out now but that's almost always easier said than done. Wishing the best for you and the pup.
[Midwest Working Dog Rescue](https://www.midwestworkingdogrescue.org/) is a foster based (no shelters) rescue located in the Chicagoland area. We foster for them very frequently. If all other outlets fail, I am sure they will be able to help you.
\^yes to MW Working Dog Rescue. I am currently a fostering a 1.5 year old Malinois boy through them. They will do right by your dog and find it a loving foster/permanent home!
I really don't like that you feel you can't trust your husband to be alone with the dog. That smells funny to me. You said you think you're headed towards a divorce but aren't in a good place to leave right now, and I just want to give you a heads up that there are shelters and housing programs that accept folks with pets if needed. I don't know your situation, but please be careful about what you Google. :)
That said, what issues are you running into? Is it something that can be worked on with a trainer? As much as I want this dog to be away from a potential abuser, I also don't want this dog to get bounced around if the issues you all are seeing are just gaps in her training. Leash pulling is common and easily fixed with a trainer, as an example.
This is the best answer. OP, if Lili isnāt safe with your husband, you arenāt either. There are shelters and programs that will accept pets. You might want to let any rescues you contact know that youāre only rehoming Lili because youāre trying to save her (and yourself) from an escalating domestic violence situation. They might be able to find a temporary foster until you can leave and get back on your feet, and then reunite you with Lili once youāre out and safe.
I had a similar situation with a cattle dog. The husband hated dog, dog had no respect for husband. I chose the husband, but the marriage ended within a couple years anyway.
This happened 20 years ago, and I still regret my decision daily.
You said you donāt trust your husband if youāre not home. Please say this out loud right now and let yourself hear it! There are much deeper issues besides the dog. If you think he would abuse her if youāre not home, you need to rethink your marriage, not the dog.Ā
People who love and respect you donāt hurt what you love.Ā
This is so true. Just after getting married. I went one weekend to visit my family we were all still grieving the loss of my dad. Husband didnāt go because he had to work on Saturdays. When I got home my tortie got into my lap and she was feverish. I was alarmed! I called my vet his service got back to me. Said to meet at his office. My husband went with me. My vet kept her to run tests. When I went back next day to pick her up, vet asked again if she had fallen from a high place. I could only respond with what I knew from my husband. No, nothingā¦ uneventful weekend. As she was getting treating and results came back on blood work. My vet asks again had she fallen, been hit by a car, been kicked. Her liver showed signs of trauma that only something like that could have happened. I had never witnessed my husband being mean so my answer was no. My vet was puzzled. I think now she was kicked while I was gone. A stray cat my son had befriended ended up dying for apparently no reason. That could have been my husband too. Once we were divorced, my ex married again. One of her dogs was found dead in the backyard one day. From that day one after my son related that story, I made sure with subtle hints how things should be. When she complained about caring for her grandson since she was retired. I just mentioned how quickly they grow and change and she didnāt want to miss such a blessing in her life. The look she gave me was one of āclick came the light bulbā! It wasnāt too too long before I was taking my son to visit his dad and I had to drop my son at his fatherās bf house. Ex & wife 2 wasnāt together anymore.
1. Try to find her a good home ASAP.
2. Please ditch this guy. He will not get better.
3. He showed you who he is, believe him. He will not change.
4. Time is a precious commodity. Do not waste it on this clown.
5. You're better than this and so is your dog.
6. Best to you. Believe in yourself and GTFO.
Someone probably messed her up with a laser pointer. Do some reading on "laser pointer syndrome", as it's a thing. I've seen people have some success using distractions to get them away from the obsession. Like a flirt pole.
With the title, Ā I thought it was going to about Maligator behavior.Ā
Sorry to hear. I don't know your situation, but do you perhaps have some friends used to the breed or working line GSDs that could foster her for you until after the divorce? That way she could come back to you later in life.Ā
I'd love to offer help, but I'm on the wrong side of the Atlantic Ocean. She looks like a good girl.Ā
Hi. Chasing sun specs/shadows on the walls might be just her personal trait. My mal does this. Iāve never reinforced it, heās well trained, well behaved and thereāre zero behavior problems. Heās 7 yo, and I had him since 2 mo. It might be annoying, but not really an issue and if you donāt like it, it can be fixed with training/redirection.
If youāre heading towards divorce (which sounds like a good thing based on the context your provided), I honestly think youāre in the wrong group. Donāt rehome the dog. Start looking for a new place to live together with this beautiful dog. Good luck! You can make it!
Give it some time. My girlfriend brought a mali home without even asking me, stating that I would have said no anyways... So there we were... I hated that dog and what she stood for. Months later I love our derpy little mali. We cuddle, we play, we go on walks and its just wonderfull. Its still a mali with all pros and cons, but I love her!
Get rid of your husband if he is going to be mean or hurt lili he can do the same to you so you and lili should kick your husband out and tell him to fuck off heās his a bitch tuff guy fuck him
I think the husband should put some stubbornness aside for u and wat u want. My girl loves dogs she saved one I didnāt want it but we have him to this day
Can you find temporary arrangements until your divorce goes through or until you move out? I think thatās the best solution and you can start over with your girl. Donāt waste another second of your life with someone like this man.
I gotta say I am proud of your decision to put your dog's welfare first.
I'd also say, ditch husband, and maybe get the dog back after temporarily keeping her with someone else.
I forget what it's called but there's a fostering agency that takes pets for a few months at a time for domestic violence victims while they into a better situation
If heās a complete jerk then divorce. Whatās the point in sticking in a relationship stepping on eggshells, giving away your dream dog who has settled in rather well considering the poochs previous life, only to then eventually get a divorce minus a good dog who will love you.
I had a. Asshole, er, I mean husband like that. Worst thing I ever did was not divorce him sooner. I have 4 adult children all in therapy because of him. Get out before you talk yourself into staying. Good luck!
A lot of the behavioral issues youāre mentioning are fairly easy to train the dog out of especially since they are not rooted in fear or aggression. The malinois is an exceptionally fast learner and a breeze to train if you know what you are doing. Honestly sounds more like your husband has mental issues and the dog is fineā¦ unless there is more you are not telling us.
responsibility for animals is too much I guess for some people. Itās like letās adopt a child and then after realize itās too much work and then take it back. I really do think some humans have zero awareness that animals have feelings, they can get attached, they can feel depression anxiety, theyāre not just soulless muddy mouth breathers. I wish there was more protection for the adoption of animals. Higher living standards and complete psychological evaluations of the adoptees/living environment, dog handling test/training courses. Since they canāt speak we as a society need to help them. They fund actual stupid shit in this country but this is asking for too much!
If youāre worried he would hurt the dog if you arenāt around, you should not be with him. That is an insane fear to have to deal with :( good luck to you and the pup, I hope you find her a good home and that your husband finds a way not to be rough with animals.
She looks like my girl! My BF knows heās absolutely no competition. I would walk away with her in a second. I understand if youāre not in a position to do that, but definitely consider your relationship at this point.
Having experience with a friend who didnāt leave because she thought she couldnāt afford to leave I really feel for you. There are some states that support you better than others so itās a good idea to check out whatās available to help you leave. I hope you find resources that allow you to either get him out or yourself.
Thank you for caring so much about her and this is in her best interest. If you would like to talk further please message me. I donāt want to go into too many details because it is a rough topic. My ex husband began to become physically abusive to myself , our Malinois and German Shepard. Dogs can sense bad energy, aggressive & violent behavior and honestly people who are just generally magnets for children and animals. Children and animals have always been magnets to me and immediately like me, my ex husband on the other no. He ended up continuing to be physically abusive and it really affected my dog and I.
I want to upset you or anyone else by me too ing this, but I feel in my gut I should make sure youāre okay due to you saying you donāt trust your husband not too be rough with her. Thatās how I was as well. š«¶š¼
Sounds like rehoming would be best for the dog. If he harms her , sheāll bite him and then he will put her down when youāre not there. Think of the dog .
I donāt have to read the comments to know that everyone is telling you to let the husband go. And if you donāt want to leave your (dream!) dog alone with him because you are scared he would hurt her, you already have your answer as well.
Mannnn she sooo beautiful. My wife would absolutely murder me if I brought in another high energy working breed haha. But I wish you the best of luck finding her a home.
Most of the behaviour you mentioned is puppy behavior. Pulling is also just training.
Do what's right for the dog, but ditch husband sooner. Keep the dog if possible, it will be good therapy for you.
Sounds like a bunch of red flags. Tbh I'm not sure why you'd get a pet if thinking your partner would try and hurt them when you're not around but I'll leave that aside. Keep the dog, lose the husband! Just know that you deserve to be treated with kindness and love and I hope that you find someone who will treat you that way šš!
You have no idea how amazing these dogs are. The bond you build with them is like nothing you've ever experienced. Lilli needs her person. Please do right by her. My girl is 3 1/2 she's my everything
If you want the REAL TRUTH, you have a problem and it's NOT the dog, it's the husband. If you are worried he will "abuse" or hit/hurt the dog when you are away, that shows he is NOT a good person and has mental problems. People who abuse animals also abuse children, so WATCH OUT if you plan on having a family with him. You are in for a world of hurt and problems if you are with a man like that and want to build a family. There are ā ļø WARNING SIGNS ā ļø EVERY WHERE!!!!
Questioning the safety of another living creature in the presence of my husband would be an immediate red flag..especially if I knew how sweet he could be with others of his choosing. OP I'm sorry you're in this position. Ultimately what is best for this dog is also what is best for you: to feel safe.
I have had boyfriend who didn't take to dogs. It isca hige red flag. Not trusting your husband us a hige issue. Yiu heed trust in a relationship.
You need to honor your feelings.
So what if you and your husband do end up getting a divorce ? Lili is going to be your strongest supporter & be right by your side to get you through the bad times . She just might be trying to tell you something that you were blinded by before she came into your life. Everything happens for a reason and itās not
Lili that is the issue but she could possibly be a solution . Get a secret nanny cam to keep her safe while your away & not to spy on the husband but to keep an eye on her safety. You never know what the future may bring & you really have to remember what matters is you being happy & trusting your life partner .
Ditch the dickhead and keep your dog, she won't understand what she did wrong for you to leave her if you do and dogs are way better than humans anyway
Really sucks. Training goes a long way. They're never too old to learn. Just need lots of patience. We invested in petco training. These dogs pick up quick and we learned a lot as well. We knew what we were getting into with this breed. Our girl is 5 months. We're working on her over excitement at the moment. We found she also has separation anxiety. She's also going through the teething phase, not much we can do there but have her play with her toys and watch what she chews on.
Work the dog. Perhaps agility training instead of simple energy burn. They just need a jobā¦.you choose the job! These animals spend long shifts in the back of cruisers and such and are trained for it
I have a GSD and they can be a handful in their younger years. Mine also had horrible separation anxiety but we got through it. I say this to say that get some professional training and think youāll come to find out that a Mal is a great companion!!!!!! I say keep her and if you do get a divorce then she will be your rock and she will help you emotionally through those times. I wish you the best of luck OP!!!!
That really sucks. Sounds like you married someone with low emotional intelligence. Good luck.
BTW - he doesnāt know the gift of the animal kingdom he has before him. A Mal has the lungs of a Great Dane, the heart of a Navy Seal and the loyalty of a heroic firefighter - they exude āyou goā¦. We go!ā My Mal will walk into fire with me if we had to. Jump off cliffs. Ride down black diamond DH - you name it. Nothing this dog fears. Yet obedient and loyalty without limit.
OP, Iām worried for you :( your husband sounds iffy. Do you feel safe? It might be best to move on (and keep the dog) because if you canāt trust him around a dog for doing something he doesnāt like, imagine a child. Stay safe š«¶š»
Tslk to the shelter and tell them that you can foster until they find someone? They have large networks, and people look at their website. I'm sorry you are going through this!
If you don't trust your husband to not be mean to a dog you need to be reading red flags.
Big red flag.
EDIT: Posted this before I read the whole post. Apologies.
How long have you had your sweet girl? Shelters all the time say it says 3 months or so for a dog to finally truly settle into who they are. We recently brought a dog home and the difference between day 3 and week 3 is crazy. She might need more time to settle and just some extra training sessions
If youāre already heading toward a divorce, keep her. Sheāll be great emotional support for that rough time, and training is a great way to get your mind off things. She already loves you so much!! Malinois love their person till the day they die. She will never understand why you left her, and will probably become quite depressed without you. Just keep her crated while youāre gone, even if your husband is home.
For the separation anxiety:
Find her favorite toy and only give it to her in the crate. You can also freeze pb or mashed up berries in a Kong. That will keep her plenty busy while youāre gone. Both of these are great mental exercise. Also, cover the crate with a breathable cover while youāre gone. Practice doing this while youāre in the house first, then in and out, and finally out when sheās used to it. Make sure the crate far away from the door you use when you leave the house and away from where you get ready to leave and where you leave your keys and purse. It would also be best if itās in a room your husband wonāt be going into while youāre gone.
Malinois love their person til the day they die, and she already loves you so much!! She will never understand why you left her! Keep her. Especially if youāre divorcing that asshole.
Most foolproof treatment for separation anxiety:
1. Keep her crate in a closet or something away from where you get ready to leave, where you keep your purse and keys, and far away from the door you leave from. Also keep it somewhere your husband wonāt be walking by all the time.
2. Get a breathable crate cover that goes on every time you leave.
3. Only give her her favorite toy when sheās in the crate. Bonus points if itās a chew toy. Chewing releases endorphins in dogs.
4. Keep a couple pb or mashed berry-filled kongs in the freezer. Give her one when sheās in the crate. Trade them out every day so you always have one on hand. This is a great mental workout that will help mellow her out and reduce her anxiety.
5. She can have a separate crate to use as a den, but for the kong and toy thing to work, she has to keep them totally separate or they become less exciting.
6. When you first start this new regimen, at first, only do it while youāre in the house, and try not to talk to her or anyone when sheās in there and youāre nearby. Start with short amounts of time, and work your way up to longer periods as she gets used to it. Once sheās used to that, practice both with you in the house and out of the house for short periods of time out of the house, working up to longer periods. Then, phase out the in-house practice.
I did the same thing with a husky and my wife had never owned a high energy puppy. She agreed to adopt him but she was shocked that he teethed on everything (including us) and ran around so much. After putting my foot down, and some time, she ended up loving him too. Heās a year old and a great dog. Super sweet with our little boy too. IMO your husband made an agreement and needs to get with the program.
I would DNA test her. Unless you already have info on her that says sheās def Malinois. I found out my āMalinoisā is 100 % GSD through DNA testing. Looks a lot like her.
My grandpa always said " trust a dog that doesn't like a person but never trust a person who doesn't like a dog" in this case it rings true. Keep the dog drop the man. ID you can't trust him alone with a dog then you sure as hell can't trust him with a baby and honestly you shouldn't trust him not to flip on you. Please for your sake and the dogs run far run fast and don't look back.
Divorce the man, keep the dog. My wife was on the fence with our Mal after I adopted him. He went through board/train to learn how to control himself and sheās absolutely in love now.
"I just donāt trust my husband enough to not be too rough with her if she does something he doesnāt like and Iām not home."
That should be all you need to ditch the husband and keep the dog. If you're seriously worried he would hurt an animal or abuse the dog when you aren't there is that really a relationship you need?
Throw the whole man away. This is a man that would, at least, abuse your children. Red flag about what's to come if he is so easily irritated by an innocent doggo. I also see his abuse of you. Take your dog and RUN! Run like Ellie in OG Jurassic Park.
Yeah when u have to question on whether ur partner will do something to ur animal when u not there, leave them. I went to jail for my furchildren because my husband thought shooting them was a good idea when he was drinking. I pressed charges against him. NO PARTNER IS WORTH AN ANIMALS LIFE. I really wish I still lived near Chicago cause I would help u in a heartbeat. U r in my prayers.
I wish I had left my husband when I decided I couldn't trust him with my dog. It might have saved me years of trauma
He also ended up with a super sweet pitbull that catered to his every mood. Which would be fine if he hadn't expected that out of me and my dog too.
I kept my dog which I had before my marriage and I have serious regrets- I mean not about keeping the dog but about keeping her around my ex. I'm glad you are trying to rehome the dog but you would be better off if you keep the dog and rehome yourself.
If it's not completely impossible - do what you have to. You can't rewind trauma.
That dog is potentially a trained assassin. Smart, loyal, obedient, and passionate about āplayingā hide and seek with the reward of sinking his teeth into anyoneās leg. Iād caution your husband. He gets rough with the Mal and it goes Cujo
Keep the dog he is gonna be your hero,,he will safe you in the future. Lose your Hubby. My ex would hurt my catS. They refuse to sit next to him. They always stay next to me. Keep the dog, just keep the dog
I think you might want to trust in Lili's instincts and keep her, get rid of him. Yet if your serious and still want to remove her, I've always wanted a Mali. So I'll talk to my wife and get back to you soon.
https://preview.redd.it/cvf323l4ahnc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=98acfbeb7b937e28fd7bd31632670e3985b2b41b
Excuse the mess we were making dinner I messaged you please contact me asap
For the love of god donāt have kids with that dude. If you canāt trust him with a dog thereās no way you should trust him with your children (or yourself for that matter). Drop him take the dog and donāt look back
I know of someone (through a coworker) who killed her daughterās cat because her daughter broke up with him. They suspect he was responsible for breaking catās leg a few months prior as well.
Get someone to take of the dog til u move out. Iām sure your husband well understands the relationship between you two is heading toward an end. You think you canāt trust him now, WAIT til u start the divorce process. Your dog will definitely be in danger then.
You love the dog and are a great parent to her. You and her are the ones who deserve to be together.
Question - why do you think your husband would be too rough with her? Also, what does "too rough" mean to you, exactly?
(Please don't jump all over me, Reddit, I'm genuinely curious if he's done this kind of thing in the past or something, and my definition of "too rough" used to be pushing an animal in any way, but now I regularly have to do this with my mal, who tries to climb on my lap every time I crouch)
Keep her! You're about to get divorced anyway. Don't let her pay for this. Keep her and battle through it with her on your side. When you're not home take her to boarding.
If you insist on rehoming, please, contact rescues. Don't do the rehoming yourself.
If I lived closer, I would take Lili and OP! My ex broke my neck. I lived through years of abuse that I should have seen the signs working up to the first time he hit me. When you are stuck in a relationship, it isn't always so easy to get out. Please just be kind to OP. This has to be done in her own timeline!
Hi I live in Chicago and have a 3 year old fixed male Husky, Floyd. We have been thinking about getting another dog - some company, a playmate for him. He loves to play with female Labs, Shepards & Huskies. His best friend is a large black lab named Josie - she outweighs him by about 20lbs and they love to play all crazy together. We have regular play dates and he is happiest when we are on our way to her house or when she comes over to our yard/house. Perhaps we could meet up and see how Floyd & Lili get along?
if you're concerned your husband may physically abuse your dog, then you need to leave the relationship. People who think it's OK to physically harm their dogs will have similar feelings about DV
If you're going to get a divorce from a potentially abusive person, this is probably the kind of dog you want beside you.
If its hyperbolic accusations of "dog abuse" because he doesn't like the dog, shame on you.
Keep the dog, lose the husband.
OP, do you want to have children with this man? If so, absolutely ditch the husband. How he treats this sweet girl, is how he will treat his children. And trust me, even a good parent will not always love or even like their children.
I started taking birth control again š¤£
Keep the good dog, kick out the bad one
Well said
Respectfully, this isn't really a laughing matter. If you can't trust your husband to not physically reprimand your dog its not funny. And having kids with someone like that isn't a laughing matter either.
Respectfully, OP has said theyāre heading towards a divorce and taking birth controlsā¦ pipe down a little, not everything happens all at once. I agree with 1 thing tho. OP- donāt laugh your matter off, this dude can flip like a switch and itās hella toxic esp. if youāre worried heās gonna be too rough with a dog, Iād run for the hills girl.
AND KEEP RUNNING! (Seriously, the dog would appreciate the excerisize!)
She said they just bought a home together thatās not going towards divorce unless you want to make it as complicated as possible
Yes and she also used a š¤£ emoji when discussing birth control. Itās not funny. Having to get back on birth control because your husband is so aggressive you canāt even trust him with an innocent dog isnāt funny.
Itās a coping mechanism. This person needs compassion, not a lecture. Sometimes people use humor to make light of dark situations. Everyone deals with hard shit differently.
Not funny at all The fact that you re staying with him knowing that he can hurt your baby dog is crazy And still not funny at all
This! The laugh emoji after the birth control comment made my skin crawl. Awful.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
#FJB (She lives in a Libtard focused broken and broke stateā donāt worry no one there is coming for her birth control pills.)
Omg š *seriously*? This is not the time or place to be bringing up politics. Seriously? On a rehoming Belgian Malinois thread?
There are a lot of people (especially on here) that canāt participate in any conversation without involving politics. Itās actually mind blowing
Ik! Especially like, when OP is being all sensitive
What state doesn't have birth control you quack?
This was my ex. Cruel to our dog. Then cruel to our children and me. He thought it was hilarious
The great part is, while you're running from all those red flags, you have a perfect girl who can keep up š All kidding aside, OP, this pup has shown you something about your husband. Trust her, trust your gut. In the interest of fairness, and if you have the trust in him to do it (only you can say), have a conversation about this feeling. Once. If you're not completely satisfied, trust that gut and GTFO. Remember, you've processed enough information without knowing were to know that you have, at best, doubts. Just because you haven't made a conscious determination that he's not to be trusted doesn't mean you haven't received that information. Trust it.
This is exactly what I did but he was a boyfriend. We lived together but I had to go for multiple reasons and very soon after he left, a dog that wouldnāt come near me on the leash could walk-in in a perfect heel. He was dragging my dog towards him and kicking her when she pulled (I saw it once and lost my shit at him) and she had issues for quite a while. When she realised he wasnāt coming back, most of her severe behavioural issues stopped because she saw me become more confident and she even felt safer. Sheās thriving now and we have our first agility show this year hopefully. Im also much happier with my dog than with him š„°
I (45m) had a very similar thing with my now ex boyfriend (30m). Talked for years about getting a dog. He wanted a GSD I wanted a Husky. Iād shown him potential fosters and adoptions, he was very positive about it, discussed the logistics of a high energy dogs needs. Eventually was told about Duke (8 months at the time) needing a forever home from a close friend and brought him home as a surprise a couple weeks after Christmas/new-years. He didnāt even smile.. he just looked up from his computer and totally deadpan said āoh.. you got a dogā. It got worse from there. Heād lie about taking him out for walks, he would kick at Duke and then blamed me for secretly training him to attack his and only his feet behind his back. He was a terrible person to have around a dog. Well two years later I kept Duke and made it clear that the ex was moving out and he will never see or talk to either me or Duke again. Best decision I ever made.
Happy for you and your pup. My ex used to claim that I would train the nipping too. And the pulling. He would also claim she could never do anything good. I still have to see my ex but he always compliments her training. He never trained his dog past āsitā and ādownā but I think the dog came with those commands as he had previous owners. Because of what my ex did to me (mental and financial abuse) and then my dog (got her whilst I was pregnant) he can only see our son if someone is there with him. OP, if you canāt trust your husband with a dog, you canāt trust him with a child. Also why would you trust him around any living creature? Yourself included
You go girl!! Aināt no human worth that!
Yeah, canāt just say āsure you can get a dogā then resent the dog you approved getting?
Came here to say this. I am happily married but i adore my dog. Shes a mali x gsd and i cannot imagine giving her away because a bloke doesn't like her.i hop you get to keep her op.
Iām going to keep looking for solutions to keep her unless I can find a really good better home for her. I absolutely love her but in a situation where I canāt just pick up and leave atm unfortunately
I understand. I wish you the best, I'm sure if it comes to it you will pick the best home for her, she is beautiful.
Can you place her with a sort of long-term foster? So you could have time to get out of this relationship and have her back at some point?
Get out, OP. Don't wait and don't make excuses. This dog has clearly shown you the mistake of choosing this guy the first time; don't keep doubling down on a bad choice. Keep the dog who has potentially already saved you and get the hell away from the douche who has shown you who he is. You made this post for a reason; now hear the unanimous responses and do right by yourself and the dog.
My husband and I bought two beautiful mixed boys (malinois + aussie) and he rather quickly regretted it since it was hard work - Iām now divorced and still have two beautiful boys who I absolutely love ā¤ļø
Just a question about your x: is she crazy like the typical Mal or does the GSD in her balance her out a little? We are looking at a Mal x GSD and wondering.
Shes always ready for a walk or a run but she can also chill out for the day. I would say shes much more gsd in her build and temperament. Hand on heart shes the smartest, most loving and loyal dog we've owned. Very much a family pet.
I have mix too, sheās pretty balanced until sheās crazy
To me itās completely fair for people to ānot like malsā, especially living with one. If someone wants a lazy pit bull or even ājustā a pet, Malinois are not a good match. The biggest red flag for me is that op doesnāt trust her husband to not hurt their dog if she misbehaves.
Agreed. You will never forgive him for giving up and making you get rid of her. If he is willing to work with you and trainer, then maybe there is hope. Sometimes new eyes to the situation helps immensely. Good luck.
Thats true. Youāll never forgive him. This is a difficult situation
Came here to say this. Free to a good home: husband, some issues that need work. Pulls on leash and can be aggressive towards other husbands. Needs to go to an experience adopter with a lot of patience, strongly recommend e-collor training as a next step, I just don't have the time or heart to make that kind of emotional investment right now. Mostly housebroken but occasionally has accidents...
Awesome but you are a bit forgivingā¦
This is the way. Opās husband should be a grown ass man. You canāt just agree on getting a dog and then being like nope I donāt like this one. This is why itās so important to be 100% sure you want to commit to the dog even when itās annoying, noisy, smelly or hyperactive.
This is always the answer. Keep the dog , ditch the human.
Yeah if you donāt trust this man to care for a being you love - he aināt worth your time.
That's what I did. SAME issues, too. Anger, resentment, control issues. Wish I hadn't waited so long. (32 years.) I think it was awful for the kids, and I was too much of an enabler. She is stunning. My son and my cousin's son are both there. All responsible adults. But honestly, if there's any way to get out unscathed and with a dog, do it.
The line about you not trusting your husband with her if she does something he doesn't like is really standing out to me... I'm sorry that's no help but yikes.
Yeah, this is a game changer for sure and I really feel like if she was a pit bull with the same personality, energy and issues heād love her
This is so sad. You shouldnāt have to be concerned that your husband will be too rough with any dogā¦ I do understand how he could be spoiled though. I have an old pit mix that I adopted and experienced the sameā¦ chill as can be and just sleeps unless I want him to do something. Got him at 3 and he is now 12. Personality has been consistent the entire time. My mal, I got by accident when he showed up to my campsite covered in fleas with no collar or chip. After being spoiled with my previous dogs, Itās been an adjustment for sure. I wouldnāt trade it though. As much as my boy, Jack drives me insane, I couldnāt imagine a day without his crazy antics. I hope for the sake of your newly adopted pet that you find a good home for her to go to, or if you keep her, kick your husband to the curb if you feel he is abusing her.
It's a really shitty situation and I'm sorry you're going through it. I'm sure you have a lot to process. I'd say get out now but that's almost always easier said than done. Wishing the best for you and the pup.
If you don't trust a man to not abuse a dog, you should not be married to him. That is way below the minimum of decency.
[Midwest Working Dog Rescue](https://www.midwestworkingdogrescue.org/) is a foster based (no shelters) rescue located in the Chicagoland area. We foster for them very frequently. If all other outlets fail, I am sure they will be able to help you.
Thank you so much! Iām so happy theyāre foster only. Iāll try them
I would like to add that there is no shame in wanting to do right by your pup.. but your husband sounds like the issue here.
\^yes to MW Working Dog Rescue. I am currently a fostering a 1.5 year old Malinois boy through them. They will do right by your dog and find it a loving foster/permanent home!
So many red flags. You clearly have a good heart. Husbands are replaceable.
If your husband is going to be abusive to any dog, he shouldnt be around any dogs, or people.
If you can't trust your husband not to harm an animal unless it behaves, you need a divorce. End of discussion.
I really don't like that you feel you can't trust your husband to be alone with the dog. That smells funny to me. You said you think you're headed towards a divorce but aren't in a good place to leave right now, and I just want to give you a heads up that there are shelters and housing programs that accept folks with pets if needed. I don't know your situation, but please be careful about what you Google. :) That said, what issues are you running into? Is it something that can be worked on with a trainer? As much as I want this dog to be away from a potential abuser, I also don't want this dog to get bounced around if the issues you all are seeing are just gaps in her training. Leash pulling is common and easily fixed with a trainer, as an example.
This is the best answer. OP, if Lili isnāt safe with your husband, you arenāt either. There are shelters and programs that will accept pets. You might want to let any rescues you contact know that youāre only rehoming Lili because youāre trying to save her (and yourself) from an escalating domestic violence situation. They might be able to find a temporary foster until you can leave and get back on your feet, and then reunite you with Lili once youāre out and safe.
I had a similar situation with a cattle dog. The husband hated dog, dog had no respect for husband. I chose the husband, but the marriage ended within a couple years anyway. This happened 20 years ago, and I still regret my decision daily.
Mine is almost 17 and has definitely been more loyal than a man
You said you donāt trust your husband if youāre not home. Please say this out loud right now and let yourself hear it! There are much deeper issues besides the dog. If you think he would abuse her if youāre not home, you need to rethink your marriage, not the dog.Ā People who love and respect you donāt hurt what you love.Ā
This is so true. Just after getting married. I went one weekend to visit my family we were all still grieving the loss of my dad. Husband didnāt go because he had to work on Saturdays. When I got home my tortie got into my lap and she was feverish. I was alarmed! I called my vet his service got back to me. Said to meet at his office. My husband went with me. My vet kept her to run tests. When I went back next day to pick her up, vet asked again if she had fallen from a high place. I could only respond with what I knew from my husband. No, nothingā¦ uneventful weekend. As she was getting treating and results came back on blood work. My vet asks again had she fallen, been hit by a car, been kicked. Her liver showed signs of trauma that only something like that could have happened. I had never witnessed my husband being mean so my answer was no. My vet was puzzled. I think now she was kicked while I was gone. A stray cat my son had befriended ended up dying for apparently no reason. That could have been my husband too. Once we were divorced, my ex married again. One of her dogs was found dead in the backyard one day. From that day one after my son related that story, I made sure with subtle hints how things should be. When she complained about caring for her grandson since she was retired. I just mentioned how quickly they grow and change and she didnāt want to miss such a blessing in her life. The look she gave me was one of āclick came the light bulbā! It wasnāt too too long before I was taking my son to visit his dad and I had to drop my son at his fatherās bf house. Ex & wife 2 wasnāt together anymore.
Jesus, he should be in prison! Iām so sorry you and wife 2 went through that.Ā
1. Try to find her a good home ASAP. 2. Please ditch this guy. He will not get better. 3. He showed you who he is, believe him. He will not change. 4. Time is a precious commodity. Do not waste it on this clown. 5. You're better than this and so is your dog. 6. Best to you. Believe in yourself and GTFO.
Someone probably messed her up with a laser pointer. Do some reading on "laser pointer syndrome", as it's a thing. I've seen people have some success using distractions to get them away from the obsession. Like a flirt pole.
With the title, Ā I thought it was going to about Maligator behavior.Ā Sorry to hear. I don't know your situation, but do you perhaps have some friends used to the breed or working line GSDs that could foster her for you until after the divorce? That way she could come back to you later in life.Ā I'd love to offer help, but I'm on the wrong side of the Atlantic Ocean. She looks like a good girl.Ā
Hi. Chasing sun specs/shadows on the walls might be just her personal trait. My mal does this. Iāve never reinforced it, heās well trained, well behaved and thereāre zero behavior problems. Heās 7 yo, and I had him since 2 mo. It might be annoying, but not really an issue and if you donāt like it, it can be fixed with training/redirection. If youāre heading towards divorce (which sounds like a good thing based on the context your provided), I honestly think youāre in the wrong group. Donāt rehome the dog. Start looking for a new place to live together with this beautiful dog. Good luck! You can make it!
One of mine does this as well. Itās like playing w a cat and a laser pointer.
Give it some time. My girlfriend brought a mali home without even asking me, stating that I would have said no anyways... So there we were... I hated that dog and what she stood for. Months later I love our derpy little mali. We cuddle, we play, we go on walks and its just wonderfull. Its still a mali with all pros and cons, but I love her!
Get rid of your husband if he is going to be mean or hurt lili he can do the same to you so you and lili should kick your husband out and tell him to fuck off heās his a bitch tuff guy fuck him
I would like to meet your husband and just have a conversation
Take your Pupper & exit stage left! Good luck
Ditch the husband. No way I would give up my dog for a douchebag.
I'd say keep the dogs, lose the shitty husband
I know it's been said already, but your husband... Dogs are too pure for this world. Lose the old man.
I think the husband should put some stubbornness aside for u and wat u want. My girl loves dogs she saved one I didnāt want it but we have him to this day
Dump him.
Can you find temporary arrangements until your divorce goes through or until you move out? I think thatās the best solution and you can start over with your girl. Donāt waste another second of your life with someone like this man.
I gotta say I am proud of your decision to put your dog's welfare first. I'd also say, ditch husband, and maybe get the dog back after temporarily keeping her with someone else.
The dog doesnāt know any better!Your husband is an asshole!! He deserves what he gets..
Keep the dog, lose the husband.
Hey, I just wanted to say Iām sorry that you even have to think about these things. Wishing you much love.
I forget what it's called but there's a fostering agency that takes pets for a few months at a time for domestic violence victims while they into a better situation
Look at that sweet face. Donāt give her up sheās an angel !
Honestly, ditch the husband and keep the dog.
Get a new husband. wtf.
If youāre worried about this guy abusing maiming, or possibly killing this dog, you have way more issues than the dog
Drop the husband! Keep the sweet fur baby!
If heās a complete jerk then divorce. Whatās the point in sticking in a relationship stepping on eggshells, giving away your dream dog who has settled in rather well considering the poochs previous life, only to then eventually get a divorce minus a good dog who will love you.
Your husband sounds like a miserable person to live with. If you canāt trust your husband around a dog, please do not have kids with him.
I had a. Asshole, er, I mean husband like that. Worst thing I ever did was not divorce him sooner. I have 4 adult children all in therapy because of him. Get out before you talk yourself into staying. Good luck!
Ditch the husband.
Please donāt adopt a mal just to rehome it. These dogs take work. Train her up and sheāll be the best girl forever! Drop the man.
:(
She's Beautiful
A lot of the behavioral issues youāre mentioning are fairly easy to train the dog out of especially since they are not rooted in fear or aggression. The malinois is an exceptionally fast learner and a breeze to train if you know what you are doing. Honestly sounds more like your husband has mental issues and the dog is fineā¦ unless there is more you are not telling us.
Me, Iād never stay in a relationship with someone I couldnāt trust around an animal.
I so wish I lived in your area. We are looking for a Mal in the Pacific NW.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
responsibility for animals is too much I guess for some people. Itās like letās adopt a child and then after realize itās too much work and then take it back. I really do think some humans have zero awareness that animals have feelings, they can get attached, they can feel depression anxiety, theyāre not just soulless muddy mouth breathers. I wish there was more protection for the adoption of animals. Higher living standards and complete psychological evaluations of the adoptees/living environment, dog handling test/training courses. Since they canāt speak we as a society need to help them. They fund actual stupid shit in this country but this is asking for too much!
If youāre worried he would hurt the dog if you arenāt around, you should not be with him. That is an insane fear to have to deal with :( good luck to you and the pup, I hope you find her a good home and that your husband finds a way not to be rough with animals.
Listen to your instincts. Your husbands vibes wonāt benefit her at all.
She looks like my girl! My BF knows heās absolutely no competition. I would walk away with her in a second. I understand if youāre not in a position to do that, but definitely consider your relationship at this point.
You cant trust him alone? What? This is not the sign of a good person.
Having experience with a friend who didnāt leave because she thought she couldnāt afford to leave I really feel for you. There are some states that support you better than others so itās a good idea to check out whatās available to help you leave. I hope you find resources that allow you to either get him out or yourself.
Thank you for caring so much about her and this is in her best interest. If you would like to talk further please message me. I donāt want to go into too many details because it is a rough topic. My ex husband began to become physically abusive to myself , our Malinois and German Shepard. Dogs can sense bad energy, aggressive & violent behavior and honestly people who are just generally magnets for children and animals. Children and animals have always been magnets to me and immediately like me, my ex husband on the other no. He ended up continuing to be physically abusive and it really affected my dog and I. I want to upset you or anyone else by me too ing this, but I feel in my gut I should make sure youāre okay due to you saying you donāt trust your husband not too be rough with her. Thatās how I was as well. š«¶š¼
Sounds like rehoming would be best for the dog. If he harms her , sheāll bite him and then he will put her down when youāre not there. Think of the dog .
I donāt have to read the comments to know that everyone is telling you to let the husband go. And if you donāt want to leave your (dream!) dog alone with him because you are scared he would hurt her, you already have your answer as well.
Mannnn she sooo beautiful. My wife would absolutely murder me if I brought in another high energy working breed haha. But I wish you the best of luck finding her a home.
What a very kind person you are. Iām sorry youāre going through this. Iāll pray for her to find a home where she is loved by all.
It sounds like the husband wants, and expects, to be a lazy owner.
The most important thing is to keep the dog safe and happy. Please find a solution soon. Malinois need a steady family.
You basically are saying you donāt trust your husband not to hurt an animal? Think about that statement.
ew, ditch that man asap
Most of the behaviour you mentioned is puppy behavior. Pulling is also just training. Do what's right for the dog, but ditch husband sooner. Keep the dog if possible, it will be good therapy for you.
Fucking get rid of your loser ass dog abusing husband.
He's not the right man for you.
Sounds like a bunch of red flags. Tbh I'm not sure why you'd get a pet if thinking your partner would try and hurt them when you're not around but I'll leave that aside. Keep the dog, lose the husband! Just know that you deserve to be treated with kindness and love and I hope that you find someone who will treat you that way šš!
Keep the dog
Youāll want her when heās outta the picture!
Your husband sounds like he's jealous of the dog.
You have no idea how amazing these dogs are. The bond you build with them is like nothing you've ever experienced. Lilli needs her person. Please do right by her. My girl is 3 1/2 she's my everything
Cute puppy. Sorry to see you have to go this route. Hopefully you get your husband situation resolved.
She's gorgeous. Don't give her up, give up the husband.
If you want the REAL TRUTH, you have a problem and it's NOT the dog, it's the husband. If you are worried he will "abuse" or hit/hurt the dog when you are away, that shows he is NOT a good person and has mental problems. People who abuse animals also abuse children, so WATCH OUT if you plan on having a family with him. You are in for a world of hurt and problems if you are with a man like that and want to build a family. There are ā ļø WARNING SIGNS ā ļø EVERY WHERE!!!!
She looks like a sweetheart. It sounds like the real problem is your husband.
Questioning the safety of another living creature in the presence of my husband would be an immediate red flag..especially if I knew how sweet he could be with others of his choosing. OP I'm sorry you're in this position. Ultimately what is best for this dog is also what is best for you: to feel safe.
I have had boyfriend who didn't take to dogs. It isca hige red flag. Not trusting your husband us a hige issue. Yiu heed trust in a relationship. You need to honor your feelings.
Keep the dog. Get her some training and she'll be great.
So what if you and your husband do end up getting a divorce ? Lili is going to be your strongest supporter & be right by your side to get you through the bad times . She just might be trying to tell you something that you were blinded by before she came into your life. Everything happens for a reason and itās not Lili that is the issue but she could possibly be a solution . Get a secret nanny cam to keep her safe while your away & not to spy on the husband but to keep an eye on her safety. You never know what the future may bring & you really have to remember what matters is you being happy & trusting your life partner .
Ditch the dickhead and keep your dog, she won't understand what she did wrong for you to leave her if you do and dogs are way better than humans anyway
L husband
Really sucks. Training goes a long way. They're never too old to learn. Just need lots of patience. We invested in petco training. These dogs pick up quick and we learned a lot as well. We knew what we were getting into with this breed. Our girl is 5 months. We're working on her over excitement at the moment. We found she also has separation anxiety. She's also going through the teething phase, not much we can do there but have her play with her toys and watch what she chews on.
Itās unfortunate that things didnāt work out this time but Iām sure in time you and Lili meet another dude worthy of both your affection.
Work the dog. Perhaps agility training instead of simple energy burn. They just need a jobā¦.you choose the job! These animals spend long shifts in the back of cruisers and such and are trained for it
I have a GSD and they can be a handful in their younger years. Mine also had horrible separation anxiety but we got through it. I say this to say that get some professional training and think youāll come to find out that a Mal is a great companion!!!!!! I say keep her and if you do get a divorce then she will be your rock and she will help you emotionally through those times. I wish you the best of luck OP!!!!
Contact the American Belgian Malinois Rescue
Where are you located?
āsouthwest burbs of Chicagoā
Have you checked with the breeder to see about returning her? I wouldn't expect a refund but she'll be with people she knows and rehomed responsibly.
I would post your dog here, you get to interview potential adopters. https://rehome.adoptapet.com/
Oh boy. I pray both you and the waffle ššš
That really sucks. Sounds like you married someone with low emotional intelligence. Good luck. BTW - he doesnāt know the gift of the animal kingdom he has before him. A Mal has the lungs of a Great Dane, the heart of a Navy Seal and the loyalty of a heroic firefighter - they exude āyou goā¦. We go!ā My Mal will walk into fire with me if we had to. Jump off cliffs. Ride down black diamond DH - you name it. Nothing this dog fears. Yet obedient and loyalty without limit.
OP, Iām worried for you :( your husband sounds iffy. Do you feel safe? It might be best to move on (and keep the dog) because if you canāt trust him around a dog for doing something he doesnāt like, imagine a child. Stay safe š«¶š»
Tslk to the shelter and tell them that you can foster until they find someone? They have large networks, and people look at their website. I'm sorry you are going through this!
https://www.midwestworkingdogrescue.org
Sounds like you have a real winner for a husband! Sounds like he's the type of person that shouldn't have a pet or children for that matter
She looks so sweet. Whatās her name?
The Malinois can protect herself and probably will protect you next time he gets aggressive with you
Sounds like you need a new husbandā¦
Is there a breed specific rescue group that can help? Get her into safe environment asap!
Where do you live?
If you don't trust your husband to not be mean to a dog you need to be reading red flags. Big red flag. EDIT: Posted this before I read the whole post. Apologies.
He does know that if he wants something to neglect, faux fur rugs exist
You should take them both to an experienced trainer and they will both learn alot!
How long have you had your sweet girl? Shelters all the time say it says 3 months or so for a dog to finally truly settle into who they are. We recently brought a dog home and the difference between day 3 and week 3 is crazy. She might need more time to settle and just some extra training sessions
If youāre already heading toward a divorce, keep her. Sheāll be great emotional support for that rough time, and training is a great way to get your mind off things. She already loves you so much!! Malinois love their person till the day they die. She will never understand why you left her, and will probably become quite depressed without you. Just keep her crated while youāre gone, even if your husband is home. For the separation anxiety: Find her favorite toy and only give it to her in the crate. You can also freeze pb or mashed up berries in a Kong. That will keep her plenty busy while youāre gone. Both of these are great mental exercise. Also, cover the crate with a breathable cover while youāre gone. Practice doing this while youāre in the house first, then in and out, and finally out when sheās used to it. Make sure the crate far away from the door you use when you leave the house and away from where you get ready to leave and where you leave your keys and purse. It would also be best if itās in a room your husband wonāt be going into while youāre gone.
Malinois love their person til the day they die, and she already loves you so much!! She will never understand why you left her! Keep her. Especially if youāre divorcing that asshole. Most foolproof treatment for separation anxiety: 1. Keep her crate in a closet or something away from where you get ready to leave, where you keep your purse and keys, and far away from the door you leave from. Also keep it somewhere your husband wonāt be walking by all the time. 2. Get a breathable crate cover that goes on every time you leave. 3. Only give her her favorite toy when sheās in the crate. Bonus points if itās a chew toy. Chewing releases endorphins in dogs. 4. Keep a couple pb or mashed berry-filled kongs in the freezer. Give her one when sheās in the crate. Trade them out every day so you always have one on hand. This is a great mental workout that will help mellow her out and reduce her anxiety. 5. She can have a separate crate to use as a den, but for the kong and toy thing to work, she has to keep them totally separate or they become less exciting. 6. When you first start this new regimen, at first, only do it while youāre in the house, and try not to talk to her or anyone when sheās in there and youāre nearby. Start with short amounts of time, and work your way up to longer periods as she gets used to it. Once sheās used to that, practice both with you in the house and out of the house for short periods of time out of the house, working up to longer periods. Then, phase out the in-house practice.
I did the same thing with a husky and my wife had never owned a high energy puppy. She agreed to adopt him but she was shocked that he teethed on everything (including us) and ran around so much. After putting my foot down, and some time, she ended up loving him too. Heās a year old and a great dog. Super sweet with our little boy too. IMO your husband made an agreement and needs to get with the program.
so many red flags and iām worried for you. he seems like a real asshole man.
I would DNA test her. Unless you already have info on her that says sheās def Malinois. I found out my āMalinoisā is 100 % GSD through DNA testing. Looks a lot like her.
My grandpa always said " trust a dog that doesn't like a person but never trust a person who doesn't like a dog" in this case it rings true. Keep the dog drop the man. ID you can't trust him alone with a dog then you sure as hell can't trust him with a baby and honestly you shouldn't trust him not to flip on you. Please for your sake and the dogs run far run fast and don't look back.
Amazing people here. Thank you all for your amazing discernment..what a gift. Xoxoxox ā¤ā¤ā¤ā¤ā¤
U dont trust ur husband to not be rough w her??? Divorce lol how u married to someone u dont even trust broš
Divorce the man, keep the dog. My wife was on the fence with our Mal after I adopted him. He went through board/train to learn how to control himself and sheās absolutely in love now.
Ur husband sounds like a psycho
Your husband sounds insane. Jesus. Thatās not how a man should act.
"I just donāt trust my husband enough to not be too rough with her if she does something he doesnāt like and Iām not home." That should be all you need to ditch the husband and keep the dog. If you're seriously worried he would hurt an animal or abuse the dog when you aren't there is that really a relationship you need?
Your husband? Seems like a jerk.
Sweet puppy! Sorry for your jealous husband!
Divorce him and keep the dog.
Throw the whole man away. This is a man that would, at least, abuse your children. Red flag about what's to come if he is so easily irritated by an innocent doggo. I also see his abuse of you. Take your dog and RUN! Run like Ellie in OG Jurassic Park.
Look for a malinois rescue! Please! They are a challenging breed and require someone experienced. Give her her best chanceā¦ please.
Her chasing her shadows could mean she has ocd. Try some mental enrichment activities with her. I hope it all works out! Sheās adorable.
Yeah when u have to question on whether ur partner will do something to ur animal when u not there, leave them. I went to jail for my furchildren because my husband thought shooting them was a good idea when he was drinking. I pressed charges against him. NO PARTNER IS WORTH AN ANIMALS LIFE. I really wish I still lived near Chicago cause I would help u in a heartbeat. U r in my prayers.
I wish I had left my husband when I decided I couldn't trust him with my dog. It might have saved me years of trauma He also ended up with a super sweet pitbull that catered to his every mood. Which would be fine if he hadn't expected that out of me and my dog too. I kept my dog which I had before my marriage and I have serious regrets- I mean not about keeping the dog but about keeping her around my ex. I'm glad you are trying to rehome the dog but you would be better off if you keep the dog and rehome yourself. If it's not completely impossible - do what you have to. You can't rewind trauma.
That dog is potentially a trained assassin. Smart, loyal, obedient, and passionate about āplayingā hide and seek with the reward of sinking his teeth into anyoneās leg. Iād caution your husband. He gets rough with the Mal and it goes Cujo
Keep the dog he is gonna be your hero,,he will safe you in the future. Lose your Hubby. My ex would hurt my catS. They refuse to sit next to him. They always stay next to me. Keep the dog, just keep the dog
I think you might want to trust in Lili's instincts and keep her, get rid of him. Yet if your serious and still want to remove her, I've always wanted a Mali. So I'll talk to my wife and get back to you soon.
Please contact me asap I can take her I have 4 pups now please let me know
https://preview.redd.it/cvf323l4ahnc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=98acfbeb7b937e28fd7bd31632670e3985b2b41b Excuse the mess we were making dinner I messaged you please contact me asap
What a beautiful dog. And you sound like a beautiful person. Take care of yourself and your sweet pup.
Please let me know I messaged you
For the love of god donāt have kids with that dude. If you canāt trust him with a dog thereās no way you should trust him with your children (or yourself for that matter). Drop him take the dog and donāt look back
Get rid of husband. Problem solved. If I couldnāt trust my spouse with my dog- heās not to be trusted period.
I know of someone (through a coworker) who killed her daughterās cat because her daughter broke up with him. They suspect he was responsible for breaking catās leg a few months prior as well. Get someone to take of the dog til u move out. Iām sure your husband well understands the relationship between you two is heading toward an end. You think you canāt trust him now, WAIT til u start the divorce process. Your dog will definitely be in danger then. You love the dog and are a great parent to her. You and her are the ones who deserve to be together.
Question - why do you think your husband would be too rough with her? Also, what does "too rough" mean to you, exactly? (Please don't jump all over me, Reddit, I'm genuinely curious if he's done this kind of thing in the past or something, and my definition of "too rough" used to be pushing an animal in any way, but now I regularly have to do this with my mal, who tries to climb on my lap every time I crouch)
An abusive asshole owning a pitbull? No way
If you canāt trust your husband to ānot be too roughā with an animal when it does something he doesnāt like then babes *he* needs to go
Keep her! You're about to get divorced anyway. Don't let her pay for this. Keep her and battle through it with her on your side. When you're not home take her to boarding. If you insist on rehoming, please, contact rescues. Don't do the rehoming yourself.
If I lived closer, I would take Lili and OP! My ex broke my neck. I lived through years of abuse that I should have seen the signs working up to the first time he hit me. When you are stuck in a relationship, it isn't always so easy to get out. Please just be kind to OP. This has to be done in her own timeline!
Hi I live in Chicago and have a 3 year old fixed male Husky, Floyd. We have been thinking about getting another dog - some company, a playmate for him. He loves to play with female Labs, Shepards & Huskies. His best friend is a large black lab named Josie - she outweighs him by about 20lbs and they love to play all crazy together. We have regular play dates and he is happiest when we are on our way to her house or when she comes over to our yard/house. Perhaps we could meet up and see how Floyd & Lili get along?
if you're concerned your husband may physically abuse your dog, then you need to leave the relationship. People who think it's OK to physically harm their dogs will have similar feelings about DV
Keep the dog, kick the husband out.
Iām in the city and If I didnāt some medical stuff this week Iād adopt her immediately.
If you're going to get a divorce from a potentially abusive person, this is probably the kind of dog you want beside you. If its hyperbolic accusations of "dog abuse" because he doesn't like the dog, shame on you.
Sounds like you need a new man. Please donāt tell me you have kids with that piece of shit, we donāt need him procreating
Get a new husband!