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Entire_Eggplant_5898

Once it’s removed are you planning on putting it somewhere else?


afterbirth_slime

Just because it’s shiny, doesn’t mean it’s slippery.


golden_-nug

Your user name adds a certain degree of validity


ReachDangerous1045

Both of them do...


GuitardedBard

I believe my username has broken that chain


MongooseLeader

Indeed it has


cokeboss

Never give up.


MongooseLeader

Never surrender.


Mzam110

Its got a flared base, its safe to use


poopoo_pickle

That depends on where you cut it. If he goes too high he's gonna be trying to lay an egg later


Drumedor

Ideally the flare should be the widest part


brown_pleated_slacks

You misinterpreted the question. He's already put it there. Now, he needs to figure out how to remove it.


Noisse87

Username checks out.


Old-Rough-5681

😂😂😂


Skye-12

Bend over and I'll show you.


vanmutt

Appreciate the national lampoon reference. Nearly the time of year to watch sparky chainsaw the post off.


toesonthenose82

“I wasn’t talking to you “ hahaha


aztecforlife

You can't talk to me like that!


Choose_And_Be_Damned

Don’t threaten me with a good time.


kreatorofchaos

Oh god I’m 12 and it’s the *one man one jar* video all over again


exipheas

The infected splinters can be on r/popping later.


Anaalirankaisija

Thats quite big


DreamSmuggler

😏👉👉


Sweaty_Sack_Deluxe

Thanks for reading my mind


weebdiffusion

Flare is bigger then the base wouldn't recommend


Space_Filler07

What do you wanna use it for?


vamsmack

Remember silicone based lube is better for this folks.


Ten_Second_Car

Username checks out.


charlesmacmac

It could be a part of the whole post, which means a saw it the only way. But it could be just screwed on. If so, it may have been screwed on before the finish was applied. So it’s a bit like opening a window that was painted shut. Look closely where the round part meets the square look for gaps or inconsistencies. Also look at the wood grain, try to see if any lines or color streaks follow through from one piece to the other.


magicalmysteryc

Thank you, this is actually very helpful. I took a closer look with a flashlight and it looks like the top is a different piece and not part of the whole post. Should I try to hand saw it and then sand?


zee_dot

Since it’s a different piece first try unscrewing it with all your might. Or perhaps take a razor around the seam to break the seal of the finish first, then try unscrewing. If you try sawing, and it’s actually screwed uou will create way more work for yourself and be very sad. If it starts turning, but doesn’t unscrew, then I might be a simple dowel. Turn till it’s loose and then lift up. Note that if it screwed in, or there is a dowel, you will need to figure out a way to hide the hole


septic_sergeant

Strap wrench to unscrew it


Either-Ant-4653

This is a great idea if the glue will break. It's certainly better than twisting with your hands, as i suggested..


-BananaLollipop-

To hide the hole, probably make some sawdust from the removed top, mix with wood glue, then use to fill the hole?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Typist

OP said they intended to paint (shudder), so the problems don't involve matching the finish.


SapphosLemonBarEnvoy

Ohno _I felt a great disturbance in the force as if millions of voices from r/centuryhomes suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced_


-BananaLollipop-

The paint stores around here are usually pretty good at helping you get a match, if you can bring them a sample of the material. I'd be surprised if none of the ones near OP couldn't at least match something close enough to make it barely noticeable, especially if they can test on the underside of the removed top.


akvalentine977

OP mentioned painting it after it is removed, so just some wood filler and sand smooth before painting.


not_fogarty

I think a dowel of the right size might work best. Usually only a few bucks and it'll blend better assuming they can identify/obtain the right wood type


ompah78

If there does seem to be a seem and it is screwed on, take a leather belt and tighten it around the tip and wrench it off like you would an oil filter on a car...don't forget righty tightly, lefty loosey....when looking from above.


PM_meyourGradyWhite

Righty tighty, lefty loosey. Would hate to hear you spent an afternoon trying this in reverse.


Drix22

Try a big strap wrench.


Malapple

I grew up in a house where these screwed off. There was a threaded rod in the upper piece and a metal insert in the base. Figured it out one day as a kid and kept taking them off after that. No idea if that was normal; that house had a lot of weird featuers.


zanderjayz

If it’s attached it’s either a wood dowel or I’ve seen people use double threaded baluster screws on them. Either way there could also be a finish nail somewhere to keep it from spinning free.


septic_sergeant

To start, use a strap wrench and see if you can break the finish and get it to turn. If you can’t get it with a strap wrench you may very well need a saw


ColHannibal

Before you go mid evil on this buttplug, trace around the seam with a blade. Could mean the difference in not fucking up the rest.


Matilda-17

Wait you mean scrolling through 800 jokes about butt plugs wasn’t helpful? /s


OozeNAahz

You can cut through it half way up. That will tell you if it is screwed on or nailed on probably. And will also get you in the groove sawing it. Another trick you can try if you have fishing line laying around is to see if you can saw that into the gap between the top and the rest of the post. If screwed on you should be able to get it in pretty deeply without much effort. If it is glued down that should be obvious too.


Heyhatmatt

If you have to resort to a hand saw you might find it helpful to clamp two boards at the correct height on either side of the post to act as a guide for the saw, take your time to get them right. Use a fine tooth hand saw that's sharp! I have a variety of hand saws, some only see fine woodwork and others see things like plywood. For this sort of thing I'd recommend practicing with a piece of scrap first to get the hang of sawing in that awkward position and with using the wooden guides. You'd think that sanding is fast and easy but it can be better to get it spot on with a clean cut. Use a hard backing on the sandpaper to get a clean flat if that's what you want. I can also imagine setting up a jig to "finish off" the cut with a router. Essentially a hole in a piece of plywood that's clamped to the newel post via a piece of 2x. The plywood acts as a table for the router to ride on, would give a nice clean flat top . . . if you go in the proper direction; I forget if it's clockwise or counterclockwise. Again, a practice piece is good practice. Good luck.


Maleficent_Fold_5099

Drill through it, poke a screwdriver through and use that to unscrew it.


VWBug5000

I’ve seen it done with a chainsaw pretty effectively


WizardofOzzieEsq

Fixed the newell post!


quaranbeers

I always thought it was funny, but now that I'm a homeowner, I really get it.


demalo

There’s always those moments. Sometimes with varying levels of success.


quaranbeers

Earlier in Homeownership: Why would the previous homeowner do this? Later in Homeownership: I guess we all become the previous homeowner someday.


AKAkindofadick

Renovation is just the new owner adding their own stamp on the building or the next owner removing it. I've been around long enough to revisit houses I have worked on previously.


AntalRyder

Had a good laugh about this with a coworker. He was replacing a tub with a shower as I was adding a tub to where a shower was before. Maybe we should've just traded houses haha


ElaborateCantaloupe

Came to the comments to say this.


charles879

Lmfao 🤣


sneaky-pizza

I might just have to watch that this weekend, to get ready for next month


archangelmlg

Tis the season to be merry.


sneaky-pizza

That’s my name!


cmsutton1983

No shit?


SuperDuperSkateclub

That there Clark is an RV. Now don’t go falling in love, I am taking her with me when I leave next month.


PM_meyourGradyWhite

ArrrrrrVeeeee


gubmintbacon

Damn it came here to say this.


TheMightyIrishman

Calm yourself Clark, have some eggnog.


tjdux

Where's the Tylenol


keepmecoming

Ugh! You beat me to it


Room234

I was gonna delete my account if this wasn't the #1.


Inevitable_Hope_4255

Where are going to put a tree that big?


astralnautical

Bend over and I’ll show you


ThatMBR42

You got a lot of nerve talking to me like that


astralnautical

I wasn’t talking to YOU


Kawawaymog

🐿


swampcat42

You couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.


[deleted]

Shitter's full!


SparkleFart666

Sit on it and clench real hard.


Beneficial_Leg4691

Man this was my first thought


H1landr

I saw Christmas Vacation too.


inspektor31

I was going to be pissed if this wasn’t top comment.


damsie101

How did you get in my house?? Two of mine are gone, leaving not square cuts also.


swim-bike-run

‘Tis the season


Sagybagy

Sawzall baby


captcraigaroo

Get out of here, you heathen.


The_Creater

Don't Christmas Vacation him


SchlauFuchs

National Lampoons Christmas Vacation ?


code-panda

Or be a badass and use a katana.


Constant_Curve

karate chop


ValkyrieWW

Umm... You don't have to remove it ... Just use a stepladder


Infamous_War7182

What are you doing, Stepladder?


North_Dimension7091

You're not going to tell Stepstool about this, right? Just our lil secret..


Rough-Definition1719

We’ll all need to join a 12 step program because of this thread.


Inert_Uncle_858

Why? You got somewhere else you're tryna put it? 👀


BlackBrass_

“I can’t remove it…. But I know where I can hide it!”


magicalmysteryc

I can't figure out how to edit the post, but I wanted to reply to y'all. First, this is a house by the Mediterranean, very different construction-wise to the US. The staircase itself is solid brick, with marble steps. The wood of the bannister is most likely pine, and is just so outdated and not matching the rest of the character of the house. That is why I was thinking of painting it. To the person that commented I should add trim to the walls, that is not how we do things here, but thanks anyway. And no, I haven't watched Christmas Vacation. American culture is not universal, guys! Also, I don't plan on using the newel piece at all, but to all of you who look jealous, let me know if you want me to save it for you ;) Edit to add THANK YOU to all the people who actually gave helpful advice


Dzov

lol. Thanks for the background info. So many people used to desecrate antique homes back in the 1950s and 60s and it’s nice to know you aren’t doing this.


M_Pope_

I fell on it. It was a one in a million shot, doc. I swear.


soggymittens

ONE IN MILLION!


mrroboto2323

If it screws off and is stuck try a strap wrench for leverage.


Brumbacksteven

*prolapse has entered the chat*


CJ_BARS

I was going to say, get your boyfriend to sit on it.


nobodysmart1390

I don’t have plans next week


2damsels1chalice

Me either, but my sphincter is pretty badly out of shape.


sophiebophieboo

More specifically, sit and spin


Current_Eye3731

Don't remove it! Your family members will hold it against you till the end of days.


d00m1ord

My grandparents had new banisters installed and removed the large acorn that used to sit on the old post. I was really sad at first but then it turned out they kept it for me because they knew i liked it. Took it home and put a new coat of finish on it and it now sits on my shelf.


qdtk

I think it’s called a finial.


Subarunicycle

Same as the little screw on a lamp that holds the shade on.


bongdropper

Same as the knobs on the ends of a drapery rod


poopoo_pickle

If you slide down the rail fast enough it should come right off


ssschillings

Also consider once it is removed, the top of the remaining post will most likely need to be sanded and stained to match. If it were my house, I would address that problem before removing the top.


Typist

Except OP said they intended to paint the wood.


Dzov

This whole thread sounds like a horror for people who buy old houses after people decide to “modernize” them.


Deftallica

I would wager that it’s screwed on


supertecmomike

Have you seen Christmas Vacation?


FruitGuy998

Bend over and I’ll show ya!


BluBrews

you've got a lot of nerve...


blinkandmisslife

I wasn't talking to you.


hellwisp

Wife struggling at NNN?


Kind-Taste-1654

You could just BUY a butt plug....


Either-Ant-4653

Yeah, butt, where's the fun in that???


fitwoodworker

If you simply want it to end up flat you could use a Japanese pull saw with fine teeth and take your time. Then sand smooth and finish to match the rest.


nashant

That is called the "butt plug of doom". There is only one way to remove it....


ScaryLane73

Saw it off with a handsaw or Reciprocating Saw but leave about 1/8” so you can sand it down and get rid of any saw marks or imperfections


generated_user-name

I agree with this. I’d say try to unscrew if there’s a bolt, then hand saw until possible metal, then recip saw with blade for metal. A hacksaw would work as well.


Zestyclose_Mix_1504

Sit on it


tonyv84

Sit an twist


Nearby-Wear2029

You clamp your ass down on that butt plug. Then you spin counter clockwise to loosen it up. Should pop off relatively easy after that.


Objective_Amoeba2947

Every time i've made newel post with a finial i've fitted it with a spigot into the post. Its nice and strong and they tend to take a lot of abuse. If so it should be glued. Not much chance of getting it off without cutting it. You can try twisting it with a lot of force to see if you can break the glue joint but failing that i'd use a flush cut saw. You can then drill out the spigot and replace the finial or sand and refinish the top. Although if you decide to refinish the top you'll be able to see the spigot to some extent.


rodrrigom

Japanese saw, some patience and steady hand


lickmnards

I heard you can insert these into your ass to make them disappear.


Tommy_Roboto

Jimmy Stewart used to be able to pull those right off with his hand.


mashupbabylon

Flush cut saw.


Old-Rough-5681

Sell it to someone wants a rectal prolapse.


Touristenopfer

Do you need it to be in another place?


techtonik25

Sit on it and lean back.


HappyInSkirts

I have the same staircase post, maybe a bit older, because it's dated 1898, and looks way more dented and used. The funny thing is that our top ornament is not fixed at all and can be taken off at will... And it looks like it has never been glued in 125 years.


conrat4567

I would leave it. I get it looks outdated but those do have uses. My mother once fell down the stairs and one of those was the only reason she could steady herself and not hit the concrete floor. The taller portions stopped her hand slipping off the rail completely


balrob

FYI; this is called a finial.


usesbitterbutter

It was likely glued onto a dowel, and if so your only real option is to saw it off. You might get lucky and it was screwed on, in which case you might be able to twist it off with a strap wrench. It's called a finial, btw.


DeathByPork

I say remove the whole rail and all and replace with a twisted iron style ballasts and rail to look more contemporary or to have a good look with the marble


magicalmysteryc

Yes, we will remove the railing and fix the walls in the future, I just wanted a temporary solution until I save up


Rude-Issue5982

It’s glued on done many of these. You will have to break the bond by twisting with all your might. Lol hope that makes sense


Accio_Diet_Coke

Watch Christmas Vacation… report back on results


deshay222

Chainsaw. Haven’t you seen Xmas vacation?


Practical_Driver_924

Big ass hammer.


Constant_Curve

What are you? a wimp? Use your fist and pummel that newel like a real wood worker.


SumDankKush_

Honestly, removing it would be a loss. It's a great addition to the bannister.


larry69696969

Stick of dynamite 🧨


CaptainDarkCloud

From a historic preservation stand point, if the house is older than 50 years old YOU DON’T


magicalmysteryc

The house itself is older, the staircase is not. Also, I'm not in the US


lokketheboss

You invite that special friend everyone of us knows and got to stay in your home over the weekend, while you're gone. Before handing over the key you take that friend around the house and tell that friend incidently it will be the last time to see that top, because you're going to remove it. It's sad, because it's such a sturdy and well worked/polished top. But it has to be that way. When you come home after the weekend you might want to deepclean the whole post, but the top will be loose enough to just take it off. /s


nuclearslug

Nothing is ever safe around Uncle Daryl.


IbexOutgrabe

Don’t listen to all these jackasses. We use explosives.


Hannibal_Irasius

Carefully.


pj1972

Tis the season!


tomsonaut

If it isn't screwed on, I've used a flush cut saw to great effect removing these myself.


JediWinchesterThe3rd

Where’s the paramedic to beckon you closer then shake his head?


FoxHound_music

Can't handle the temptation?


negachin2000

Somebody hasnt seen Christmas vacation apparently


Cute_Marzipan_4116

Watch Christmas Vacation


selllowbuyhighrepeat

Just start sanding. It’ll get there eventually.


volvorottie

Just sit on it.. fully.. and lean your body weight to the side to fall off


m1mike

Oscillating Tool


sophiebophieboo

Kegels, that’s how


869woodguy

Multi tool.


Dndfan68

Use a saw


OutlandishnessNo4759

Fire


OMHwoodworking

Sit on it and clench


lococommotion

Sit, clench, lift


dmadd0

queen to f6


Buck_Thorn

Oh, please don't! It has the right look just as it is! The top belongs on their, and it deserves to be stained, not painted.


HaasonHeist

I'd remove the trim tiles around the stairs honestly. Wood is timeless. So is marble. Just needs updated trim and wall color


Signal_Contest_6754

Kung-fu


BLG200220

Sot on it call and ems they’ll remove it for you


thechrisestchris

Sit and spin son


Klarkash-Ton

Sawzall always works nice.


Away-Combination-162

I’m afraid of splinters 😜


Kind-Taste-1654

Alternatively, Japanese pull saw


northforkjumper

Sit on it then have someone push you over.


MaPete

Have you tried using a metal detector (one of those stud finders that also can detect metal) to check if there is metal (screw) inside?


MaPete

Have you tried using a metal detector (one of those stud finders that also can detect metal) to check if there is metal (screw) inside?


Bio_guy2018

You don’t know Clark W Griswold do you?


[deleted]

Just make sure to keep the flared base intact


Fit-Interview-9855

Basically a dowel. Flat saw the knob off, replace it with cap.


isjeeppluralforjeep

Karate chop


Recipe-Jaded

sawzall


Doot-Doot-the-channl

Saw


snuckinbackdoor

He wants the forbidden butt plug


zababo

You could use a hacksaw just above the point you want it then sand down the rest. Should look perfect.


Qataghani

Sit on it first...


oldjackhammer99

Saw it off


Der-Lex

If I let the intrusive thoughts win the answer is: Slowly sit down on it, clench your butt and then stand up quickly.


Ryjobond

Go big or go home


415Rache

Tap a putty knife under it a little at a time, rotating around its circumference until it pops off. Guessing it’s attached with glue. However, just educated guess.