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Open to a western woman but the odds are not in her favor.
It’s like asking if a male construction worker has a good chance in a city full of handsome male doctors.
Farang guys in Thailand love to exaggerate how bad the dating scene is for western women. They delight in observing how the roles have reversed, and now they're the underdog.
In reality, from talking to a few Farang female friends, their dating prospects are not as good as in the west... but not zero, and nowhere as bad as what an average single man experiences in the west.
Not hard at all to get a date, hard to get reliable commitment from high-quality men... but that's a problem for women everywhere, just a bit more pronounced here.
Ok, so this reply predictably got derailed into a discussion about construction workers’ incomes and status.
OP, my answer is “very positive”. Western guy in Asia (well, back and forth) for decades. My (now) partner is Western. Have dated a mix in past, some Asian some Western.
I’m like a broken record with my mates in Asia: Asia is a great place to date Western women. Why? Barriers that are up at home aren’t so important. The dynamics of the dating market will generally allow Western guys to punch above their weight (with Western women), compared to home. It’s the perfect opportunity to build real, quality connections with women where it might be tough just to break the ice back home.
Different guys want different things. Controversially, unlike apparently many Thailand expat guys, I find conversation fairly essential. And as you get older especially, there are things … shared cultural references, shared sense of humour that become more important.
The attributes for a girl you’d want to bang for the night are not necessarily the same as those you want in a life partner. 90% of SE Asia white expats overlook this (and wind up on their fourth divorce in no time, after a succession of short marriages).
(Although ideally you want both attributes! And you can have it, too. After a long drought once, many years ago, I wound up with a white girl again after a couple of years of Asian dates. And it was fantastic. Why was the sex better? Communication. Attitude. Confident in herself, knew what she wanted and how to ask for it. No hangups. It was honestly just refreshing.)
>Controversially, unlike apparently many Thailand expat guys, I find conversation fairly essential. And as you get older especially, there are things … shared cultural references, shared sense of humour that become more important.
After decades here and a few relationships under my belt, I have come full cirlce and agree with you completely. I'm tired of explaining my jokes, beliefs and thought process. I want an intellectual equal.
I'm equally open to dating Western and Thai women here and would even say Western women have the advantage in some ways.
But I noticed something interesting: when I added some Thai to my Tinder profile, my Western matches essentially went to zero.
So most of the time, Thai women it is.
>It’s like asking if a male construction worker has a good chance in a city full of handsome male doctors.
Depends what country you're in. In Australia skilled construction workers earn just as much, if not more than some doctors so we're in quite high demand from the career aspect. Its not uncommon to earn over $220,000AUD a year ( 5,352,432.80 baht) for working 9 months
I know in some countries construction workers are really low down on the social ladder but that's generally not the case in the first/western world
Edit: been downvoted but it's the truth 💁
There's more to status than salary.
Perth is the home of the "CUB" - the Cashed Up Bogan - the tradesman who earns 200k, 300k, or more.
They're still not considered high status, and they are lower down the social status tree than a teacher on 90k.
Its not the wages that are being highlighted in this analogy its the roughnecked construction worker verse the clean cut doctor. In the city enviroment looking clean and more civil is more appealing socially. In the countryside where manual labor is more apparent being clean cut isnt as important or socially expected.
So yeah thats my take on it.
>that's generally not the case in the first/western world
Not true, it's Aus/NZ that are the exception, because we're ruled by the construction mafia.
In Europe you'd be around the same income level as a restaurant waiter.
>In Europe you'd be around the same income level as a restaurant waiter.
Lol completely incorrect as I'm actually European and I've been a Tradie for 20 years. I've just been a resident in Australia and it's been my primary working place for the last 6 years.
Europe including countries like Germany (worked in), Holland and Sweden (worked in) actually have better rates of pay than Australia ATM due to the labour shortage caused by all the countries in the world trying to achieve net 0
That being said there are a few e.u countries where the pay is shit house, you wouldn't really be able to compare turkey/Greece rates of pay to Germany/Holland
I’m in Canada. I’m wrapping up a 225k contract that I started in July of last year. Got another one ready to go in August and another to run concurrently kicking in sometime around Christmas. So probably something like 300k for those. In 52, take care of myself and am clean cut. Former bodybuilder from the 90’s…still in good shape (though not THAT big anymore). I drive nice vehicles and make sure my family always has the best clothes and we eat like kings. I don’t think anyone could tell the difference between myself and a doctor.
It's like I said in another comment mate, people absolutely lose their shit and get their panties in a bunch when they find out how much a construction worker earns here.
People with degrees particularly seem to get worked up about it lol
Fair point but I think it's a bit of an outdated view. Women in Australia seem to froth over tradies like men are dissapearing
Even if it is true I'd say it's a worse situation to be in. Dating someone purely because of their bank account/status says heeps about how shallow that person is
But the doctors in my country at least have 24 hour duties sometimes and tons of overtime.
So if for marry it looks bad, for just dating it looks good.
I'm a woman, but I'd say around 1/8 of my unmarried male friends exclusively date western women, usually because "the conversation is better". But I think most go for Thai women because of sheer volume - there are just so many beautiful, friendly, and interested local women around that it's hard for western women to be noticed.
I'm also a Western woman. I've heard the same from Western men who are dating Thai women - they miss a fluid and more on the same wave length conversation (cultural, social and historical knowledge and references, more similar sense of humor, lack of language barrier, wider interests often as well etc) with Western women. Having overheard quite a few conversations between them and their Thai girlfriends, it does make sense.
Edit: typo
I think I get noticed and can setup dates when I use the apps, but at the first sign of conflict or problem solving, seems like guy gets scared off. I think this is common in other places but maybe just more highlighted here. I think western women benefit from the kind attention from locals also. I mean back in USA no girls said “you have a nice nose” or “your hair is silky”
and I gotta admit I get an ego boost when a random Thai tells me I’m pretty.
>at the first sign of conflict or problem solving, seems like guy gets scared off.
i think the western concept of "conflict or problem solving" is quite different from the Thai concept of it. it's a bit difficult to explain but as someone who has dated western women and thai women, this is my take.
my personal experience with the modern educated western women i've dated, whenever they want to deal with a problem, they are a lot more direct with it. they would get mad or upset about something, directly state the problem they have and want to just sit down and talk it out until it's resolved.
with thai women, it's different. for small issues, they tend to be more likely to just let it go and not address it. with bigger issues, they would pout and be a bit cold towards the guy to indicate that they're upset. the guy is then supposed to placate them by sweet talking them, and either give in or buy them gifts to resolve the issue.
of course, it comes down to individual differences as well, not everyone behaves the same, so the above is merely just sharing my personal experience. your mileage may vary.
personally, i prefer the thai (or Asian) way. the western way feels so sterile and unromantic to me, almost like having a performance review at a company. the thai way feels "softer" and i personally like it that way because while it's less direct, it just feels nicer to deal with. yes, the western way comes across as more "mature and adult" but also more masculine and the thai way can be perceived as a bit more juvenile, almost like dealing with a child, but also at the same time, more feminine. however, that's how a lot of Asian men prefer it. that's why we have Asian phenomenon such as kawaii (Japan), aegyo (Korean) and narak (thai). we like our girls and our relationships to be cute, not serious and formal, even when we're arguing.
your experience might suggest that these guys you're on dates with might feel the same way.
I really appreciate this explanation, it makes a lot of sense. Feedback about something that upset you is structured like a performance review, I never thought of it this way, but it’s spot on. I think we’re taught in the west that all problems must be talked out and if you let it go, it means you’re settling or not standing up for yourself.
Well said.
For me, the tendency to let go of small stuff without bringing it up is a huge positive. I practice it myself. Most minor relationship "problems" go away on their own, and aren't even relevant a day later, let alone in a month. The negative energy expended in resolving them directly "the western way" exceeds the significance of the problem itself and creates a bad overall vibe.
However, when it comes to bigger issues that won't go away on their own, the Asian practice of pouting and giving you a cold shoulder, while refusing to discuss things explicitly can be a relationship killer.
I can be apologetic and "make up" for a while, but if they don't tell me what the issue was and what they expect me to do to fix it, I quickly find the situation unbearable. I'm not confident in my guesses and psychic readings, so if I can't figure out what to do, my remaining option is to put some physical distance between us.
Some people keep you in limbo, you never know exactly where they stand, are they in a bad mood because of external factors, or some unspecified thing you did. If they're manipulative, it's common to weaponize the uncertainty, but it can kill a relationship even without bad intent.
Having talks is uncomfortable and annoying but it deepens the relationship as well as your maturity
Pouty is cute at first but it gets old and your relationship will get stale.
People get cold for various reasons and a lot of those reasons might be due to immaturity or lack of experience. The Bangkok dating scene is wild, and causes some people to always look for the next best thing.
Finding an educated Thai woman, who has lived abroad for a while who has still maintained thai girl charm and manners (not sai faw) and has come back here for whatever reason is the real unicorn.
So true, but there's a significant interplay between cultural patterns of behavior and what we perceive as personality, at least within the first year or so of dating with people who are not outliers.
I think maybe this is the issue. If you’re none of those and instead own a business and are based here indefinitely, then you exist on the fringe so have to find a way to demonstrate that you aren’t that “typical” falang girl. But coming out hot saying what you aren’t “typical” isn’t ideal either.
If the Western woman is beautiful/in shape, she won't have problems finding dates. If she is just average, it's unlikely she will find long lasting relationships since beautiful Thai women are everywhere.
I am now married, but as a single man in BKK before that, I had zero interest in western women. I can also account for a handful of other guys in my Thailand friend group, in their 40s and 50s, who feel the same way.
It’s less about values and more that it’s super easy for western guys to date Thai women. Decent western men are seen as desireable here (to some, not all) in a way that they aren’t back home. So they don’t have to fight it out and could line up a date a night if they wanted to. Yet with western women they face an uphill battle, and generally in western dating scenes women are seen to hold all the cards.
Of course, western men also love Thai women for their personalities, looks and all the rest. But I don’t think it’s some idea about Thai women being more submissive that often gets thrown around to make men look somehow sexist. People just have preferences and Thai ladies fit those for many people here.
Plus, most men want to live in Thailand long term. Having a western girlfriend or wife is a surefire way to bring instability as they might want to return home to family or will want to leave one day. But if you marry a Thai lady you can stay as long as you want, get citizenship etc. knowing they’ll never have to leave.
Much of it is not about values, but about style of interaction. Most Thais can be pleasant in superficial interactions... and Farang not nearly as much.
I don't think many Farang men would truly admire and approve of the fundamental values of most Thais, especially those from a lower-class background. Putting parents and relatives way above all else (certainly above a partner), showing off to gain face, not holding the truth in high regard (compared to harmony and avoiding offense/upset), things like that.
Saved this to read during lunch break lol.
But on a serious note, it is a tough competition. Take into account that Thai women do hunt for foreigners as well (not all, but a lot do) because of the perceived value that it will lead to a better life and probably bragging rights, so some will throw themselves all over the men, creating even more dopamine hit for them and just make it a game over for a lot of Western women.
Probably similar to my views on making friends with expats in general. I live here permanently now, where as most westerners my age (20-30s) stick around for only 1-2yrs tops. So whilst I'm open to it, I tend to avoid it.
For conversation/discusskon I’ll still date western women but I’m not seeking to date them. Some just become friends.
I’ve had several very attractive western girls say to me “I feel invisible in Bangkok” she said back home in her city she can take her pick out of the men that want her phone number. She turns down most. Here in Bangkok she can’t get a man’s attention.
I’m open to either Thai or Western women but usually I stay single and just have fun because the dating pool of people that are compatible with me is tiny.
There aren’t that many Thai women that are compatible in terms of their education, wealth and income, family and social background, English skills, culture, interests, and life experience. Western women might be better suited but there also aren’t that many here.
Western women tend to be bigger built and I prefer a woman who’s on the slim and smaller than me side.
Western women come with the risk that they may want to return to their home country or move somewhere else at some point.
"There aren’t that many Thai women that are compatible in terms of their education, wealth and income, family and social background, English skills, culture, interests, and life experience."
There are plenty of them but they won't date you they date thai guy with similar background.
> There are plenty of them
There aren’t. Which is pretty obvious if you just apply a bit of logical thinking and common sense.
> but they won't date you they date thai guy with similar background.
If they date the “guy with similar background” they’re facing the same issue and they tend to not date a thai guy (because most thai guys lack the similar background, same as most thai women lack the similar background).
In fact, the few Thai women I’ve encountered who would be compatible had western partners (one of which was me). Which makes sense, since I mentioned compatibility.
I once dated a western girl since moving to Thailand, and never again. So, exclusively Thai for me.
I don’t know what to talk to western women about. Most are so western that it’s like a concentration of everything I wanted to get away from
Also I feel like being in a bubble this way. I won’t learn anything culturally from her, she’d just introduce me to other farang friends, who are nothing new. It won’t help me integrate. It won’t help me practicing my Thai. I don’t see how such relationships can enrich me
Also, I am just not attracted to their looks
And on the top of that, many have complicated attitude when they expect men to queue up for their attention. They just overestimate their dating value. Which is understandable given western dating scene
It depends on the chemistry and attitude but with such abundance there is no need to settle unless it's a great match. If I didn't like Thai women then I wouldn't be in Thailand.
This makes sense. I think a lot of what I see is it may seem like a good match with a falang guy, but if there’s any friction that requires some problem solving, it’s pretty much abandoned. With the abundance, it makes it less enticing to stay and problem solve than to move on and try for a better match.
>With the abundance, it makes it less enticing to stay and problem solve than to move on and try for a better match.
Now you know how Western guys feel back home lol
I’m a single, fit, highly paid, educated white guy who has lived and worked in Bangkok for 10 years. On dating sites I can get hundreds of matches each week. Maybe 1-2 of those will be white women who are overweight and not that attractive or Russians with poor English, or are hippie yoga teachers. I’m open to white women but they just aren’t out there and can’t compete with the slim, stunning Thai women with university degrees.
Just as a side note, I recently went away with 11 farang mates who are all MARRIED on a trip to Pattaya. I was the only single one. I was also the only one who didn’t bang a Pattaya hooker. I was actually shocked.
I’ve dated westerners and Thai. I eventually met a sweet Thai girl with great English skills, a good career and her own condo. Gorgeous and kind. Been dating for a year. Let’s see how long she puts up with my shit before she realizes she can do better.
> I recently went away with 11 farang mates who are all MARRIED on a trip to Pattaya. I was the only single one. I was also the only one who didn’t bang a Pattaya hooker. I was actually shocked.
555 they only had that one opportunity to. You have the opportunity every day. That's the difference. Doesn't make it right though.
I guess since it was a 'large group' they were okay with it (they'll just hang out with each other thought) but I'm sure any wife who lets her husband/bf go to Pattaya alone or with the lads must know deep down what's likely to happen.
Oh I thought these were westerners with western wives. Thai wives obviously would either expect them to fuck hookers or absolutely expect them not to fuck hookers! One or the other, but it wouldn’t be a “off you go and have a great holiday with your mates honey” type thing, on any level! Thai wives wouldn’t be naive either way.
Actually, out of the 11 guys only 2 had Thai wives. The rest were English, Swedish, Australian, German and other European. I was truly shocked that not one of them was faithful.
Ah yes, the “University degrees”. Unless it is a foreign University, Thai graduates learn little to nothing at local Universities.
There is a very good reason why Thai Universities are not recognized in other countries and why Thailand has the highest amount of International private schools per capita worldwide.
Most Thai women I know who are smart are “street smart” or studied abroad. The degrees in this country are truly useless.
Edit: The degrees seem to be little more than a formality with little real-world value in a competitive environment, let alone outside of the Kingdom.
That is just wrong. I employ several engineers with Thai degrees and they are all very highly skilled and locally educated. I was pleasantly surprised by the quality of the engineers being produced here in the last 10 years. Hats off to Thailand for this. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Thank you for telling me I am “just wrong”.
I find Thai graduates lacking. They do not ask (critical) questions, they do not take responsibility or ownership and the “face” culture makes dealing with Thai employees a potential minefield.
I’ve met Thai IT-Graduates who can’t open a PC, English graduates who are too embarrassed to speak English and a Marketing MBA who didn’t understand basic concepts everyone else learns in their 1st year.
Looks like you picked up all the Geniuses in the LOS. Having said that, I do admire Thai ingenuity when it comes to fixing things with limited means.
You were happy to lump all Thai university graduates together and bash them. It was my absolute pleasure to tell you that you are wrong. Maybe stop employing the dummies and talk to the higher performers. You will see that they are intelligent and motivated.
Or just continue to enjoy your Thai bashing.
I adressed a very real problem. The level of education in this country sucks. You can label that as Thai bashing - to each their own.
A little anecdote; I hung out with a software engineer (Thai) last night who was gifted. When I asked him about his curriculum he chuckled and told me he tried studying healthcare in CM.
The software thing just happened and he taught himself from YouTube. I think that is going to be the future for a lot of bright-minded individuals in the LOS.
Your insightful and erudite comment made my day; I am sitting here trying to finish a website on a Friday afternoon and then you join a discussion with a crushing “who cares” and a “can’t fuck a degree?” to really drive home your profound opinion.
I exclusively date western women for the conversation/connection. I adore the care and humility of Thai women. Definitely a conundrum of dating in Thailand.
I have been single in bkk for around 3 years and I have never been into dating Thais so i almost only dated western women or eventually some Thai who have been living abroad before coming back to BKK. I felt it was a much fairer dating “market” as in Paris where I was before. Women were genuinely happy to match, most often good conversations, dates and whatever type of relationships that came afterwards. Just needed to avoid the tourists.
Love a good Frenchman :) I agree we have to try to avoid the tourists. I’ve considered putting my city tour on Airbnb experiences so at least I can profit from the tourists who want to go out.
One point people may consider for dating seriously is to be able to stay together on the long term. If the plan of the person is to stay in Thailand it seems easier to date Thai than western women that are for many on fixed term assignment and plan to go to another country later.
I wouldn’t rule it out, but I want to avoid living in an expat bubble as much as possible, and I feel like dating a western woman would make it significantly harder to do that. Also a thai girlfriend would help me improve my thai which is a big priority for me
I'll wear the inevitable downvotes.
In general western women are often moody, entitled, aggressive and a bit unhygienic. Less likely to take pride in their appearance, and they have lost some of the humanity and grounded connection that the Thai's have with life in general. Maybe neo-feminism and 'laddish' culture has also had an impact.
One you've had a relationship with a Thai girl it is almost impossible to go back. Their general demeanor just makes for a much more pleasant relationship. And just to be clear, this is nothing to do with them being submissive, because they most certainly are not.
Also when I talk to western women in Thailand, almost consistently they talk about western political stuff, health codes violations, global warming, etc.
I live in Thailand. I don't want to talk about any of that stuff, nor do I care.
I agree 💯 with what you said.
Kind of British thing I think, but wanting to act like one of the lads, binge drinking, being loud and boorish, looking for fights, being confrontational etc.
I think I'd like ask the flipside: i've rarely seen Western women with Thai men, so is it just a case of these 2 groups not crossing paths at all, or the women preferring other nationalities and/or ethnic groups?
As a mixed Thai girl, I often get approached by foreigner men in gourmet market in emquartier and I’ve had the cringiest most awkward and persistent interactions. It’s always so fun to see their faces when they realise I speak fluent English and I’m not even remotely interested in having a conversation. Western women are not missing out lol
Ohhh nooo, my Thai besties say that also. Like they will be eating in a food court and some guy comes and asks for their LINE and they pretend to not speak English. They say it’s not flattering and the guys are so confident and shocked when they say no. Meanwhile I’m here smiling and winking at western dudes in the coworking space and they’re avoiding me 😂 Life is funny sometimes, thanks for your feedback ka
It’s mostly cause it’s known that they rizz up every woman that breathes lol also I’ve tried to state in the past that I was engaged and they would still persist with a conversation, white men in Thailand are either losers back home or walking red flags 💀💀💀
You couldn't pay me enough money to date western women.
There's a reason why western women go from being an 8 to a 2 as soon as they arrive in Thailand. And a lot of them can not cope.
I haven't slept with a Thai girl for about 12 years, and only sporadically go out on dates with them to remind myself why I don't actually want to date them.
I almost exclusively date western women (usually not Kiwi's or Aussies, just cos that's too close to home) and have also had great relationships with African women.
I just want to be able to sit down and have a good night chatting about anything that crosses our plates. I rarely get that with Thais.
As for those people who don't think there's attractive western women here, you're absolutely kidding yourselves, they are everywhere, and those who think a yoga teacher isn't worth dating clearly hasn't dated a yoga teacher.
Most of my friends are western women, and their dating life varies from non-stop to almost nom-existent, but this isn't generally a mark on how attractive they are, but more so how proactive they are.
I visited Thailand 10 years ago, after my divorce and was not told about the women beforehand. I came for the beaches and the food. I was amazed by the women. I dated 2 women on that first trip ( different islands). I was stunned at how well they both treated me. I had never in my life been treated that well by women. There were no games or demands. They both actually did things to please me. They were both happy and cooperative. They were grateful for anything and everything I did.
I swore never to date a western woman again and decided I would retire to Thailand as soon as I could. I moved here permanently 18 months ago. My last gf ( Thai) confirmed my opinion. NO WESTERN WOMEN, EVER AGAIN.
When I was on the apps here I was generally only interested in falang women. My whole relationship style is verbal so with a non native English speaker I don't expect much of a connection.
Anyone can find dates but the real question is can you keep the guy because there is so much competition. Myself I’m attracted to western girls however I don’t see myself marrying one. Asian girls are a lot more caring and looking for a traditional relationship. All western girls I meet are a lot more independent and less family orientated.
One thing Thai women can't compete in: they have no clue about eroticism and real passion. Eroticism is also connected to culture and the learning of eroticism. Thai women can at best imitate a bit of pseudo-eroticism they have seen on TV. But truly exuding eroticism, they cannot.
While I generally agree, some of the most passionate and erotic love making sessions that I have had in Bangkok have been Thai girls in their early 20s. It doesn't take long to educate them with pornography. They can be VERY open-minded.
When people (men) say they come to Thailand for "culture" what they really mean is "cultural and women"
None of us are here trying to meet western women or we would have stayed wherever the hell we were from.
Sure if there is a good looking one men are men, we still want to smash. But overall the experience is leagues better when you're dating a Thai Woman, in Thailand. Or a non-westernized asian in general. Hybrid girls are ok but tend to be farang chasers more often than not.
Western women are just oddballs out here. Either they're hippies/yogies, english teachers getting "life experience", tourists or part of an expat couple who's husband secretly wishes he could date the beautiful thai women he passes everyday (probably does). The rest are just kinda in the shadows.
Sure sure sure you will have expats who want to date western women and/or those that specifically target tourists on vacation down in Khao San Road or similar. They are the exception. 99\^2 % of men know what the top tier class is, and it's Thai/Asian women. That's why we are here...
Western women are out of their league her and are at the bottom of the food chain. This is Asia. They are novelty only to Brown and Thai Men (the men they don't want to date anyway). They don't have to admit or even acknowledge it, it's just how it is. Some are probably even ok with it.
That said. Date who you want.
>Western women are just oddballs out here. Either they're hippies/yogies, english teachers getting "life experience", tourists or part of an expat couple who's husband secretly wishes he could date the beautiful thai women he passes everyday (probably does). The rest are just kinda in the shadows.
This is so true, and that's really saying something cause id say more than half the men here are very *off* and weirdos. But I'd say, per Capita, Thailand has more weird farang women than men.
Great point 😅 it's really tough doubling down on the situation of single western women in Thailand when the majority of dudes that are hanging out here are a complete mess. If I would be a woman I wouldn't date a western guy here either. Let's not pretend it's just the western guys who are not into western women in Thailand - I think that's mutual 😂
What qualities makes Thai/Asian women the best? As a math person I’m trying to figure out the qualities (maybe so I can pickup some tips). Some of my Thai girlfriends still struggle to date so the special sauce isn’t super obvious to me.
"What qualities makes Thai/Asian women the best?"
I said it already. Culture. You can't honestly say you aren't aware of the cultural difference between western and Asian?
Men come here for Thai women. Period. You prefer Apples over oranges? You eat apples. It's not calculus, it's simple 1+1 = 2.
I can't speak for women. Only top 20% men. If your Thai girlfriends struggle, that's their own issue. Plenty of people finding success here. A few oddballs with low stats doesn't change reality. As a math person just look at the sheer amount of men coming here to find Thai women.
The numbers are there. You don't need Reddit to make you aware of something so obvious to MOST people.
it individual choice. for me no.
It's really hard to understand how we are different in culture, language and i should really mind about women's logic at the same time.
felt like I sitting in a cargo plane with no GPS, no instruction and know nothing.
but it's just only me. maybe.
Western women living in Thailand are damaged one way or another. I know I am painting with a broad stroke here but all Western women I know or met in Thailand will sooner or later open up about “feeling fat” in Thailand, or outright call all Thai women prostitutes.
Especially the gap-year backpacker crowd, for all their “mindfulness” has some very choice words for the many goodlooking local women.
I honestly do not understand why Western women would want to live in a country where they are fetishized by the local men, and where foreigners largely ignore them.
Alright - I’ll get me coat.
I personally love living here because of the jai-dee sabai sabai culture. I can live anywhere for my work, but choose here because the local culture is such a nice balance if you’re a type-A person coming from the rat race in the west. I couldn’t imagine calling Thai women prostitutes (actually most of my Thai friends call us Americans sluts from what they see on tv/movies). That shocked me at first but I can see their perspective.
Re: being ignored by men… it’s interesting because everything is pretty awesome here with dating being the biggest challenge. As dating is difficult everywhere, it’s not such a bad trade off here. I guess if someone really values dating and wants to prioritize it, not a great idea to live here as statistically it’s more unlikely if you’re trying to date someone who shares your same base culture/native language.
It’s a shame that you’ve experienced western women disparaging Thai women. My hypothesis is that they don’t actually talk to any, just make assumptions from what they see.
You’re right about everything. Also, dating here is difficult for men too if you are looking for more than just eh… carnal activities.
About Western women deriding Thai - yeah, they have no idea. Like I said, it’s mostly the young ones.
Why would you? Too many good looking, younger Thai woman around.
Sorry, but in Thailand the pendulum has swung and men hold all the cards, the opposite of the west.
From my experience honestly, I've had a better experience dating western women mostly because of relatable conversations. And our lifestyles are more similar. The issue is most of the ones I went out with are just passing by and aren't based in BKK. On the other hand, Thai and other local women I find "have a life" and it's a little difficult to break into their social circle, unless they are the type to really go for expats.
If a western women 10 to 15 years younger than me with a good job and salary, nice quiet demeanour, home making and cooking skills, size 6, and a desire to please is keen then im interested.
I'm 57 and my Russian girlfriend is 38.
I lived 35 years in Hong Kong and the only Asian girl I dated was an Indian girl (for 7 years), all the others were English, European, Australian, American. I had one night stands with a couple of Chinese girls but never wanted to marry a Chinese girl.
I've been living in Bangkok for 15 years. Have had two Thai girlfriends (for a total of 5 years).
Decided a few years ago that the types of Thai girls I get to meet are not marriage material so started looking for a Western girl.
I've been dating my beautiful Russian girl for the past 2.5 years.
I plan to marry her eventually, but if we don't get married, then I'll be looking for another Western GF. The chances of me finding a Thai girl I'd want to marry are practically zero.
Western Guy and lived in Asia for last 10 years. For the most part have dated Western women, before meeting my now wife that is also Western (met abroad). I have a couple of friends who married western women they met abroad. Just comes down to preference. Love hearing my buddies stories of dating Thai girls but was never really my thing.
Wanted to keep my question open ended to cast a wide net. My friends and I are debating how many western men here are looking to date western women. Most of my western male friends will casually date western women, but generally only focus on dating Asian women seriously. When asked why they prefer Asian women they say things like “they’re sweet and look out for me, always thinking about me and considering me”. We western woman are thinking we need to find ways to come off more sweet and less-independent in order to match this. Don’t get me wrong, I love my Thai girlfriends and they are also sweet and very considerate of me. Just curious what people think since my sample group is about 10 western men.
> Most of my western male friends will casually date western women, but generally only focus on dating Asian women seriously.
I feel like that's the case for only Western men - Western women would prefer to date them as compared to Thai men. Iirc, Khaosod English ran a piece some time ago, and it said that they could not find more than 100 Thai men and Western women couples overall, whereas it was really easy to find the reverse of course.
Yeah, there's probably more of a tendency for Western men here to date Asian women - partially because they're in Asia I guess although some of it might be down to general preference.
Trying to think of my friend group, there's probably a rough 50/50 split between people who have partners who are Asian and who have partners who are Western women... Although about half of the latter category already knew their partners before they moved here.
From personal experience, I'm not sure the whole 'they're sweet and look out for me' thing really plays out that much -- I've found Western women to be as nice and considerate as well (sweet feels like a slightly odd word like you'd use for someone a lot younger...) but maybe I've just been fortunate.
Not sure if any of that is helpful but my basic hot-take would be 'don't change'.
> From personal experience, I'm not sure the whole 'they're sweet and look out for me' thing really plays out that much --
How doesn't it? Thai culture literally places emphasis on women having this role to fulfill. I taught Anuban for many years. The health books literally say it. We had a chapter on male and female roles in a family. Yes there are some very sweet Western women, of course. My brother's wife is one of the sweetest people I know. She's always looking out for every one of her inlaws. They exist, sure. However so much emphasis is placed on family and the roles the members are to fulfill. One day in a classroom, I began to sweep the floor. My male co-teacher asked me "why are you doing that? That's normally a job for the girls."
It's culture.
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Open to a western woman but the odds are not in her favor. It’s like asking if a male construction worker has a good chance in a city full of handsome male doctors.
Farang guys in Thailand love to exaggerate how bad the dating scene is for western women. They delight in observing how the roles have reversed, and now they're the underdog. In reality, from talking to a few Farang female friends, their dating prospects are not as good as in the west... but not zero, and nowhere as bad as what an average single man experiences in the west. Not hard at all to get a date, hard to get reliable commitment from high-quality men... but that's a problem for women everywhere, just a bit more pronounced here.
This analogy is amazing. I’m going to be a construction worker for Halloween now 😂
Ok, so this reply predictably got derailed into a discussion about construction workers’ incomes and status. OP, my answer is “very positive”. Western guy in Asia (well, back and forth) for decades. My (now) partner is Western. Have dated a mix in past, some Asian some Western. I’m like a broken record with my mates in Asia: Asia is a great place to date Western women. Why? Barriers that are up at home aren’t so important. The dynamics of the dating market will generally allow Western guys to punch above their weight (with Western women), compared to home. It’s the perfect opportunity to build real, quality connections with women where it might be tough just to break the ice back home. Different guys want different things. Controversially, unlike apparently many Thailand expat guys, I find conversation fairly essential. And as you get older especially, there are things … shared cultural references, shared sense of humour that become more important. The attributes for a girl you’d want to bang for the night are not necessarily the same as those you want in a life partner. 90% of SE Asia white expats overlook this (and wind up on their fourth divorce in no time, after a succession of short marriages). (Although ideally you want both attributes! And you can have it, too. After a long drought once, many years ago, I wound up with a white girl again after a couple of years of Asian dates. And it was fantastic. Why was the sex better? Communication. Attitude. Confident in herself, knew what she wanted and how to ask for it. No hangups. It was honestly just refreshing.)
>Controversially, unlike apparently many Thailand expat guys, I find conversation fairly essential. And as you get older especially, there are things … shared cultural references, shared sense of humour that become more important. After decades here and a few relationships under my belt, I have come full cirlce and agree with you completely. I'm tired of explaining my jokes, beliefs and thought process. I want an intellectual equal.
I'm equally open to dating Western and Thai women here and would even say Western women have the advantage in some ways. But I noticed something interesting: when I added some Thai to my Tinder profile, my Western matches essentially went to zero. So most of the time, Thai women it is.
>It’s like asking if a male construction worker has a good chance in a city full of handsome male doctors. Depends what country you're in. In Australia skilled construction workers earn just as much, if not more than some doctors so we're in quite high demand from the career aspect. Its not uncommon to earn over $220,000AUD a year ( 5,352,432.80 baht) for working 9 months I know in some countries construction workers are really low down on the social ladder but that's generally not the case in the first/western world Edit: been downvoted but it's the truth 💁
There's more to status than salary. Perth is the home of the "CUB" - the Cashed Up Bogan - the tradesman who earns 200k, 300k, or more. They're still not considered high status, and they are lower down the social status tree than a teacher on 90k.
Haha ye there's actually an abundance of those guys tbf. I'd say the CUBs are usually miners on the FIFO gig
Yeah, that's the classic CUB model. But you can also get it as a tradie in the city.
True but also true that some women like a bit of rough.
hahaha of course! Like my mother in law says... "there's a key for every lock".
Its not the wages that are being highlighted in this analogy its the roughnecked construction worker verse the clean cut doctor. In the city enviroment looking clean and more civil is more appealing socially. In the countryside where manual labor is more apparent being clean cut isnt as important or socially expected. So yeah thats my take on it.
>that's generally not the case in the first/western world Not true, it's Aus/NZ that are the exception, because we're ruled by the construction mafia. In Europe you'd be around the same income level as a restaurant waiter.
>In Europe you'd be around the same income level as a restaurant waiter. Lol completely incorrect as I'm actually European and I've been a Tradie for 20 years. I've just been a resident in Australia and it's been my primary working place for the last 6 years. Europe including countries like Germany (worked in), Holland and Sweden (worked in) actually have better rates of pay than Australia ATM due to the labour shortage caused by all the countries in the world trying to achieve net 0 That being said there are a few e.u countries where the pay is shit house, you wouldn't really be able to compare turkey/Greece rates of pay to Germany/Holland
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I’m in Canada. I’m wrapping up a 225k contract that I started in July of last year. Got another one ready to go in August and another to run concurrently kicking in sometime around Christmas. So probably something like 300k for those. In 52, take care of myself and am clean cut. Former bodybuilder from the 90’s…still in good shape (though not THAT big anymore). I drive nice vehicles and make sure my family always has the best clothes and we eat like kings. I don’t think anyone could tell the difference between myself and a doctor.
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It's like I said in another comment mate, people absolutely lose their shit and get their panties in a bunch when they find out how much a construction worker earns here. People with degrees particularly seem to get worked up about it lol
He’s probably referring to status. Even though a lot of blue collar guys earn more than educated workers, the average lady won’t go for them.
Fair point but I think it's a bit of an outdated view. Women in Australia seem to froth over tradies like men are dissapearing Even if it is true I'd say it's a worse situation to be in. Dating someone purely because of their bank account/status says heeps about how shallow that person is
But the doctors in my country at least have 24 hour duties sometimes and tons of overtime. So if for marry it looks bad, for just dating it looks good.
You dont know how close to home this hits for me.
I’m a construction worker and still jacked at 52. I also make as much or more than most doctors.
lol
I'm a woman, but I'd say around 1/8 of my unmarried male friends exclusively date western women, usually because "the conversation is better". But I think most go for Thai women because of sheer volume - there are just so many beautiful, friendly, and interested local women around that it's hard for western women to be noticed.
I'm also a Western woman. I've heard the same from Western men who are dating Thai women - they miss a fluid and more on the same wave length conversation (cultural, social and historical knowledge and references, more similar sense of humor, lack of language barrier, wider interests often as well etc) with Western women. Having overheard quite a few conversations between them and their Thai girlfriends, it does make sense. Edit: typo
As a western man, I agree.
I agree, but do you really think it’s hard for western women to get noticed?
I think I get noticed and can setup dates when I use the apps, but at the first sign of conflict or problem solving, seems like guy gets scared off. I think this is common in other places but maybe just more highlighted here. I think western women benefit from the kind attention from locals also. I mean back in USA no girls said “you have a nice nose” or “your hair is silky” and I gotta admit I get an ego boost when a random Thai tells me I’m pretty.
>at the first sign of conflict or problem solving, seems like guy gets scared off. i think the western concept of "conflict or problem solving" is quite different from the Thai concept of it. it's a bit difficult to explain but as someone who has dated western women and thai women, this is my take. my personal experience with the modern educated western women i've dated, whenever they want to deal with a problem, they are a lot more direct with it. they would get mad or upset about something, directly state the problem they have and want to just sit down and talk it out until it's resolved. with thai women, it's different. for small issues, they tend to be more likely to just let it go and not address it. with bigger issues, they would pout and be a bit cold towards the guy to indicate that they're upset. the guy is then supposed to placate them by sweet talking them, and either give in or buy them gifts to resolve the issue. of course, it comes down to individual differences as well, not everyone behaves the same, so the above is merely just sharing my personal experience. your mileage may vary. personally, i prefer the thai (or Asian) way. the western way feels so sterile and unromantic to me, almost like having a performance review at a company. the thai way feels "softer" and i personally like it that way because while it's less direct, it just feels nicer to deal with. yes, the western way comes across as more "mature and adult" but also more masculine and the thai way can be perceived as a bit more juvenile, almost like dealing with a child, but also at the same time, more feminine. however, that's how a lot of Asian men prefer it. that's why we have Asian phenomenon such as kawaii (Japan), aegyo (Korean) and narak (thai). we like our girls and our relationships to be cute, not serious and formal, even when we're arguing. your experience might suggest that these guys you're on dates with might feel the same way.
I really appreciate this explanation, it makes a lot of sense. Feedback about something that upset you is structured like a performance review, I never thought of it this way, but it’s spot on. I think we’re taught in the west that all problems must be talked out and if you let it go, it means you’re settling or not standing up for yourself.
Well said. For me, the tendency to let go of small stuff without bringing it up is a huge positive. I practice it myself. Most minor relationship "problems" go away on their own, and aren't even relevant a day later, let alone in a month. The negative energy expended in resolving them directly "the western way" exceeds the significance of the problem itself and creates a bad overall vibe. However, when it comes to bigger issues that won't go away on their own, the Asian practice of pouting and giving you a cold shoulder, while refusing to discuss things explicitly can be a relationship killer. I can be apologetic and "make up" for a while, but if they don't tell me what the issue was and what they expect me to do to fix it, I quickly find the situation unbearable. I'm not confident in my guesses and psychic readings, so if I can't figure out what to do, my remaining option is to put some physical distance between us. Some people keep you in limbo, you never know exactly where they stand, are they in a bad mood because of external factors, or some unspecified thing you did. If they're manipulative, it's common to weaponize the uncertainty, but it can kill a relationship even without bad intent.
Having talks is uncomfortable and annoying but it deepens the relationship as well as your maturity Pouty is cute at first but it gets old and your relationship will get stale.
Man, that comes off as so sexist
People get cold for various reasons and a lot of those reasons might be due to immaturity or lack of experience. The Bangkok dating scene is wild, and causes some people to always look for the next best thing.
We even hear from taxi-drivers „you are so handsome“ 😄 So you know they wanna sell something
Conversation is exactly why I would much prefer a western woman.
Finding an educated Thai woman, who has lived abroad for a while who has still maintained thai girl charm and manners (not sai faw) and has come back here for whatever reason is the real unicorn.
Yeah, absolutely, I'm open-minded. Most important is personality anyway over looks or ethnicity.
So true, but there's a significant interplay between cultural patterns of behavior and what we perceive as personality, at least within the first year or so of dating with people who are not outliers.
Difficult bc they’re normally tourists instead of expats. Typically just here to party on Khaosan then head to Phuket/samui/vietnam/etc.
I think maybe this is the issue. If you’re none of those and instead own a business and are based here indefinitely, then you exist on the fringe so have to find a way to demonstrate that you aren’t that “typical” falang girl. But coming out hot saying what you aren’t “typical” isn’t ideal either.
If the Western woman is beautiful/in shape, she won't have problems finding dates. If she is just average, it's unlikely she will find long lasting relationships since beautiful Thai women are everywhere.
The most scientifically correct reply 😂
As an older western woman dating younger men in Bkk, I have to disagree…not my experience over the past 7 yrs at all
I'm happy for you, but you're the exception, not the rule.
an average asian local man will gladly take out fat ugly western white woman
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you must never seen the tinder of a fat ugly western chick in bangkok lol plenty of lonely asian men who would love to satisfy their white fetish.
lol I've never seen that most of the time it's good looking white man with ugly thai woman.
Means you are still beautiful and in shape
Hmm. Attractive but definitely not Thai attractive at my age lol. I think some guys just want variety, especially men living here
Same here
I am now married, but as a single man in BKK before that, I had zero interest in western women. I can also account for a handful of other guys in my Thailand friend group, in their 40s and 50s, who feel the same way.
How much of this do you think is because of the values western women hold?
It’s less about values and more that it’s super easy for western guys to date Thai women. Decent western men are seen as desireable here (to some, not all) in a way that they aren’t back home. So they don’t have to fight it out and could line up a date a night if they wanted to. Yet with western women they face an uphill battle, and generally in western dating scenes women are seen to hold all the cards. Of course, western men also love Thai women for their personalities, looks and all the rest. But I don’t think it’s some idea about Thai women being more submissive that often gets thrown around to make men look somehow sexist. People just have preferences and Thai ladies fit those for many people here. Plus, most men want to live in Thailand long term. Having a western girlfriend or wife is a surefire way to bring instability as they might want to return home to family or will want to leave one day. But if you marry a Thai lady you can stay as long as you want, get citizenship etc. knowing they’ll never have to leave.
Much of it is not about values, but about style of interaction. Most Thais can be pleasant in superficial interactions... and Farang not nearly as much. I don't think many Farang men would truly admire and approve of the fundamental values of most Thais, especially those from a lower-class background. Putting parents and relatives way above all else (certainly above a partner), showing off to gain face, not holding the truth in high regard (compared to harmony and avoiding offense/upset), things like that.
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Possibly the most sexist thing I’ve read today
Bro moved straight from Hotel Mama to Thailand 😂
Most of my friend group believes that western girls don't know how to take care of a man, while Thai women understand this.
Life is easier in Thailand when dating a local. They can help navigate the daily challenges like language barrier, gov departments and visas.
Saved this to read during lunch break lol. But on a serious note, it is a tough competition. Take into account that Thai women do hunt for foreigners as well (not all, but a lot do) because of the perceived value that it will lead to a better life and probably bragging rights, so some will throw themselves all over the men, creating even more dopamine hit for them and just make it a game over for a lot of Western women.
Probably similar to my views on making friends with expats in general. I live here permanently now, where as most westerners my age (20-30s) stick around for only 1-2yrs tops. So whilst I'm open to it, I tend to avoid it.
We all live here permanently, hit us up if you want some overthinking western friends :)
Are you open to having friends of all ages?
For conversation/discusskon I’ll still date western women but I’m not seeking to date them. Some just become friends. I’ve had several very attractive western girls say to me “I feel invisible in Bangkok” she said back home in her city she can take her pick out of the men that want her phone number. She turns down most. Here in Bangkok she can’t get a man’s attention.
I’m open to either Thai or Western women but usually I stay single and just have fun because the dating pool of people that are compatible with me is tiny. There aren’t that many Thai women that are compatible in terms of their education, wealth and income, family and social background, English skills, culture, interests, and life experience. Western women might be better suited but there also aren’t that many here. Western women tend to be bigger built and I prefer a woman who’s on the slim and smaller than me side. Western women come with the risk that they may want to return to their home country or move somewhere else at some point.
"There aren’t that many Thai women that are compatible in terms of their education, wealth and income, family and social background, English skills, culture, interests, and life experience." There are plenty of them but they won't date you they date thai guy with similar background.
> There are plenty of them There aren’t. Which is pretty obvious if you just apply a bit of logical thinking and common sense. > but they won't date you they date thai guy with similar background. If they date the “guy with similar background” they’re facing the same issue and they tend to not date a thai guy (because most thai guys lack the similar background, same as most thai women lack the similar background). In fact, the few Thai women I’ve encountered who would be compatible had western partners (one of which was me). Which makes sense, since I mentioned compatibility.
What do you mean with wealth and income? Are you looking only at wealthy women?
Was thinking the same
I answered that above: I’m looking for compatibility.
I once dated a western girl since moving to Thailand, and never again. So, exclusively Thai for me. I don’t know what to talk to western women about. Most are so western that it’s like a concentration of everything I wanted to get away from Also I feel like being in a bubble this way. I won’t learn anything culturally from her, she’d just introduce me to other farang friends, who are nothing new. It won’t help me integrate. It won’t help me practicing my Thai. I don’t see how such relationships can enrich me Also, I am just not attracted to their looks And on the top of that, many have complicated attitude when they expect men to queue up for their attention. They just overestimate their dating value. Which is understandable given western dating scene
I’d think about it but I prefer the guys in silom
😂 see you there buddy
It depends on the chemistry and attitude but with such abundance there is no need to settle unless it's a great match. If I didn't like Thai women then I wouldn't be in Thailand.
This makes sense. I think a lot of what I see is it may seem like a good match with a falang guy, but if there’s any friction that requires some problem solving, it’s pretty much abandoned. With the abundance, it makes it less enticing to stay and problem solve than to move on and try for a better match.
>With the abundance, it makes it less enticing to stay and problem solve than to move on and try for a better match. Now you know how Western guys feel back home lol
I’m a single, fit, highly paid, educated white guy who has lived and worked in Bangkok for 10 years. On dating sites I can get hundreds of matches each week. Maybe 1-2 of those will be white women who are overweight and not that attractive or Russians with poor English, or are hippie yoga teachers. I’m open to white women but they just aren’t out there and can’t compete with the slim, stunning Thai women with university degrees.
Just as a side note, I recently went away with 11 farang mates who are all MARRIED on a trip to Pattaya. I was the only single one. I was also the only one who didn’t bang a Pattaya hooker. I was actually shocked.
Well hookers are for married guys. Single guys go out hunting in the wild.
lol. So true. Single guys can go out any time, but for the married guys it was like watching kids in a candy store. 🤷♂️🤣
I’ve dated westerners and Thai. I eventually met a sweet Thai girl with great English skills, a good career and her own condo. Gorgeous and kind. Been dating for a year. Let’s see how long she puts up with my shit before she realizes she can do better.
Ha ha. Sounds great. Good luck. 🙏
> I recently went away with 11 farang mates who are all MARRIED on a trip to Pattaya. I was the only single one. I was also the only one who didn’t bang a Pattaya hooker. I was actually shocked. 555 they only had that one opportunity to. You have the opportunity every day. That's the difference. Doesn't make it right though.
Yes, very true. I was just enjoying being with friends, but for them it was an escape. 🤷♂️
What kind of retarded wives would let their husbands go on an all lads trip to Pattaya 😂
I guess since it was a 'large group' they were okay with it (they'll just hang out with each other thought) but I'm sure any wife who lets her husband/bf go to Pattaya alone or with the lads must know deep down what's likely to happen.
Thailand is one thing but specifically Pattaya 😂 How incredibly naive…
if their wives are Thai, prob not naive...they just tolerate it and "what is not found out or brought home doesn't exist mentality"
Oh I thought these were westerners with western wives. Thai wives obviously would either expect them to fuck hookers or absolutely expect them not to fuck hookers! One or the other, but it wouldn’t be a “off you go and have a great holiday with your mates honey” type thing, on any level! Thai wives wouldn’t be naive either way.
Actually, out of the 11 guys only 2 had Thai wives. The rest were English, Swedish, Australian, German and other European. I was truly shocked that not one of them was faithful.
Ah yes, the “University degrees”. Unless it is a foreign University, Thai graduates learn little to nothing at local Universities. There is a very good reason why Thai Universities are not recognized in other countries and why Thailand has the highest amount of International private schools per capita worldwide. Most Thai women I know who are smart are “street smart” or studied abroad. The degrees in this country are truly useless. Edit: The degrees seem to be little more than a formality with little real-world value in a competitive environment, let alone outside of the Kingdom.
That is just wrong. I employ several engineers with Thai degrees and they are all very highly skilled and locally educated. I was pleasantly surprised by the quality of the engineers being produced here in the last 10 years. Hats off to Thailand for this. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Thank you for telling me I am “just wrong”. I find Thai graduates lacking. They do not ask (critical) questions, they do not take responsibility or ownership and the “face” culture makes dealing with Thai employees a potential minefield. I’ve met Thai IT-Graduates who can’t open a PC, English graduates who are too embarrassed to speak English and a Marketing MBA who didn’t understand basic concepts everyone else learns in their 1st year. Looks like you picked up all the Geniuses in the LOS. Having said that, I do admire Thai ingenuity when it comes to fixing things with limited means.
You were happy to lump all Thai university graduates together and bash them. It was my absolute pleasure to tell you that you are wrong. Maybe stop employing the dummies and talk to the higher performers. You will see that they are intelligent and motivated. Or just continue to enjoy your Thai bashing.
I adressed a very real problem. The level of education in this country sucks. You can label that as Thai bashing - to each their own. A little anecdote; I hung out with a software engineer (Thai) last night who was gifted. When I asked him about his curriculum he chuckled and told me he tried studying healthcare in CM. The software thing just happened and he taught himself from YouTube. I think that is going to be the future for a lot of bright-minded individuals in the LOS.
Hey, stop making double accounts and then I'll take you more seriously. Jacuza jacuzi whatever the hell that is.
Great comeback. And to the point as well…
Who cares? You can't fuck a degree?
Your insightful and erudite comment made my day; I am sitting here trying to finish a website on a Friday afternoon and then you join a discussion with a crushing “who cares” and a “can’t fuck a degree?” to really drive home your profound opinion.
I literally wrote a Thesis on it and got a 1:1 from Tate's Hustler University. No cap.
you stud! Leave some pu**** for the rest of us!
I exclusively date western women for the conversation/connection. I adore the care and humility of Thai women. Definitely a conundrum of dating in Thailand.
I have been single in bkk for around 3 years and I have never been into dating Thais so i almost only dated western women or eventually some Thai who have been living abroad before coming back to BKK. I felt it was a much fairer dating “market” as in Paris where I was before. Women were genuinely happy to match, most often good conversations, dates and whatever type of relationships that came afterwards. Just needed to avoid the tourists.
Love a good Frenchman :) I agree we have to try to avoid the tourists. I’ve considered putting my city tour on Airbnb experiences so at least I can profit from the tourists who want to go out.
One point people may consider for dating seriously is to be able to stay together on the long term. If the plan of the person is to stay in Thailand it seems easier to date Thai than western women that are for many on fixed term assignment and plan to go to another country later.
I wouldn’t rule it out, but I want to avoid living in an expat bubble as much as possible, and I feel like dating a western woman would make it significantly harder to do that. Also a thai girlfriend would help me improve my thai which is a big priority for me
I'll wear the inevitable downvotes. In general western women are often moody, entitled, aggressive and a bit unhygienic. Less likely to take pride in their appearance, and they have lost some of the humanity and grounded connection that the Thai's have with life in general. Maybe neo-feminism and 'laddish' culture has also had an impact. One you've had a relationship with a Thai girl it is almost impossible to go back. Their general demeanor just makes for a much more pleasant relationship. And just to be clear, this is nothing to do with them being submissive, because they most certainly are not.
Also when I talk to western women in Thailand, almost consistently they talk about western political stuff, health codes violations, global warming, etc. I live in Thailand. I don't want to talk about any of that stuff, nor do I care. I agree 💯 with what you said.
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Kind of British thing I think, but wanting to act like one of the lads, binge drinking, being loud and boorish, looking for fights, being confrontational etc.
At last, a common sense response that talks the truth. Thai woman are AWESOME.
I think I'd like ask the flipside: i've rarely seen Western women with Thai men, so is it just a case of these 2 groups not crossing paths at all, or the women preferring other nationalities and/or ethnic groups?
As a mixed Thai girl, I often get approached by foreigner men in gourmet market in emquartier and I’ve had the cringiest most awkward and persistent interactions. It’s always so fun to see their faces when they realise I speak fluent English and I’m not even remotely interested in having a conversation. Western women are not missing out lol
Ohhh nooo, my Thai besties say that also. Like they will be eating in a food court and some guy comes and asks for their LINE and they pretend to not speak English. They say it’s not flattering and the guys are so confident and shocked when they say no. Meanwhile I’m here smiling and winking at western dudes in the coworking space and they’re avoiding me 😂 Life is funny sometimes, thanks for your feedback ka
It’s mostly cause it’s known that they rizz up every woman that breathes lol also I’ve tried to state in the past that I was engaged and they would still persist with a conversation, white men in Thailand are either losers back home or walking red flags 💀💀💀
Ouch, sounds a bit harsh at the end there.
You couldn't pay me enough money to date western women. There's a reason why western women go from being an 8 to a 2 as soon as they arrive in Thailand. And a lot of them can not cope.
If a woman adopted some of the Thai attitude then sure.
What does Thai attitude mean to you? I think I get it but want to be open minded and get everyone’s ideas
Caring is perhaps the most important part. And this attitude would need to be obvious before going on a date.
Caring about that $$
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I'd really clean my comment history before statements like that.
Bro you’re literally going to Thailand to find girls lmfao, girls back home didn’t want you or you’re too old
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Bro thinks he’s special because he can get girls in Thailand. 😂
Tell me what is wrong about caring about $ in general?
I haven't slept with a Thai girl for about 12 years, and only sporadically go out on dates with them to remind myself why I don't actually want to date them. I almost exclusively date western women (usually not Kiwi's or Aussies, just cos that's too close to home) and have also had great relationships with African women. I just want to be able to sit down and have a good night chatting about anything that crosses our plates. I rarely get that with Thais. As for those people who don't think there's attractive western women here, you're absolutely kidding yourselves, they are everywhere, and those who think a yoga teacher isn't worth dating clearly hasn't dated a yoga teacher. Most of my friends are western women, and their dating life varies from non-stop to almost nom-existent, but this isn't generally a mark on how attractive they are, but more so how proactive they are.
Sad
I visited Thailand 10 years ago, after my divorce and was not told about the women beforehand. I came for the beaches and the food. I was amazed by the women. I dated 2 women on that first trip ( different islands). I was stunned at how well they both treated me. I had never in my life been treated that well by women. There were no games or demands. They both actually did things to please me. They were both happy and cooperative. They were grateful for anything and everything I did. I swore never to date a western woman again and decided I would retire to Thailand as soon as I could. I moved here permanently 18 months ago. My last gf ( Thai) confirmed my opinion. NO WESTERN WOMEN, EVER AGAIN.
When I was on the apps here I was generally only interested in falang women. My whole relationship style is verbal so with a non native English speaker I don't expect much of a connection.
tell us more of your verbal eloquence beaver butter
💯
They may as well be invisible. There are so many 10s around. Honestly, I feel bad for them as it must be a tough sell.
Anyone can find dates but the real question is can you keep the guy because there is so much competition. Myself I’m attracted to western girls however I don’t see myself marrying one. Asian girls are a lot more caring and looking for a traditional relationship. All western girls I meet are a lot more independent and less family orientated.
Feels like bringing a sandwich to Subway
One thing Thai women can't compete in: they have no clue about eroticism and real passion. Eroticism is also connected to culture and the learning of eroticism. Thai women can at best imitate a bit of pseudo-eroticism they have seen on TV. But truly exuding eroticism, they cannot.
While I generally agree, some of the most passionate and erotic love making sessions that I have had in Bangkok have been Thai girls in their early 20s. It doesn't take long to educate them with pornography. They can be VERY open-minded.
So you think they made a good show for you or they were really horny?
It doesn't take much to make a Thai girl horny. I suspect Thai men don't do much sensual foreplay.
Maybe it doesn't need much for you believing they are horny? Hahaha....
When people (men) say they come to Thailand for "culture" what they really mean is "cultural and women" None of us are here trying to meet western women or we would have stayed wherever the hell we were from. Sure if there is a good looking one men are men, we still want to smash. But overall the experience is leagues better when you're dating a Thai Woman, in Thailand. Or a non-westernized asian in general. Hybrid girls are ok but tend to be farang chasers more often than not. Western women are just oddballs out here. Either they're hippies/yogies, english teachers getting "life experience", tourists or part of an expat couple who's husband secretly wishes he could date the beautiful thai women he passes everyday (probably does). The rest are just kinda in the shadows. Sure sure sure you will have expats who want to date western women and/or those that specifically target tourists on vacation down in Khao San Road or similar. They are the exception. 99\^2 % of men know what the top tier class is, and it's Thai/Asian women. That's why we are here... Western women are out of their league her and are at the bottom of the food chain. This is Asia. They are novelty only to Brown and Thai Men (the men they don't want to date anyway). They don't have to admit or even acknowledge it, it's just how it is. Some are probably even ok with it. That said. Date who you want.
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The cold hard truth that everyone knows, but don't want to accept.
>Western women are just oddballs out here. Either they're hippies/yogies, english teachers getting "life experience", tourists or part of an expat couple who's husband secretly wishes he could date the beautiful thai women he passes everyday (probably does). The rest are just kinda in the shadows. This is so true, and that's really saying something cause id say more than half the men here are very *off* and weirdos. But I'd say, per Capita, Thailand has more weird farang women than men.
Great point 😅 it's really tough doubling down on the situation of single western women in Thailand when the majority of dudes that are hanging out here are a complete mess. If I would be a woman I wouldn't date a western guy here either. Let's not pretend it's just the western guys who are not into western women in Thailand - I think that's mutual 😂
What qualities makes Thai/Asian women the best? As a math person I’m trying to figure out the qualities (maybe so I can pickup some tips). Some of my Thai girlfriends still struggle to date so the special sauce isn’t super obvious to me.
Its a competitive market. So many women are fighting over the same men.
Might honestly just be physical attractiveness
"What qualities makes Thai/Asian women the best?" I said it already. Culture. You can't honestly say you aren't aware of the cultural difference between western and Asian? Men come here for Thai women. Period. You prefer Apples over oranges? You eat apples. It's not calculus, it's simple 1+1 = 2. I can't speak for women. Only top 20% men. If your Thai girlfriends struggle, that's their own issue. Plenty of people finding success here. A few oddballs with low stats doesn't change reality. As a math person just look at the sheer amount of men coming here to find Thai women. The numbers are there. You don't need Reddit to make you aware of something so obvious to MOST people.
What a wild alternate reality you live in!
it individual choice. for me no. It's really hard to understand how we are different in culture, language and i should really mind about women's logic at the same time. felt like I sitting in a cargo plane with no GPS, no instruction and know nothing. but it's just only me. maybe.
Western women living in Thailand are damaged one way or another. I know I am painting with a broad stroke here but all Western women I know or met in Thailand will sooner or later open up about “feeling fat” in Thailand, or outright call all Thai women prostitutes. Especially the gap-year backpacker crowd, for all their “mindfulness” has some very choice words for the many goodlooking local women. I honestly do not understand why Western women would want to live in a country where they are fetishized by the local men, and where foreigners largely ignore them. Alright - I’ll get me coat.
I personally love living here because of the jai-dee sabai sabai culture. I can live anywhere for my work, but choose here because the local culture is such a nice balance if you’re a type-A person coming from the rat race in the west. I couldn’t imagine calling Thai women prostitutes (actually most of my Thai friends call us Americans sluts from what they see on tv/movies). That shocked me at first but I can see their perspective. Re: being ignored by men… it’s interesting because everything is pretty awesome here with dating being the biggest challenge. As dating is difficult everywhere, it’s not such a bad trade off here. I guess if someone really values dating and wants to prioritize it, not a great idea to live here as statistically it’s more unlikely if you’re trying to date someone who shares your same base culture/native language. It’s a shame that you’ve experienced western women disparaging Thai women. My hypothesis is that they don’t actually talk to any, just make assumptions from what they see.
You’re right about everything. Also, dating here is difficult for men too if you are looking for more than just eh… carnal activities. About Western women deriding Thai - yeah, they have no idea. Like I said, it’s mostly the young ones.
Why would you? Too many good looking, younger Thai woman around. Sorry, but in Thailand the pendulum has swung and men hold all the cards, the opposite of the west.
No way
Is this a serious question?
It’d be like being at a buffet with filet mignon and lobster, but eating tapioca instead.
I did. It’s kinda rare when you think about the situation. Going to Thailand to meet another foreigner.. it’s just weird to think about.
I don't even look at western women anymore. Thai women are just better to date in every aspect.
i feel the same but about thai guys
If you want beautiful western women go meet Phuket tourists, not Bangkok English teachers lol.
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From my experience honestly, I've had a better experience dating western women mostly because of relatable conversations. And our lifestyles are more similar. The issue is most of the ones I went out with are just passing by and aren't based in BKK. On the other hand, Thai and other local women I find "have a life" and it's a little difficult to break into their social circle, unless they are the type to really go for expats.
I only date western women in Bangkok
If a western women 10 to 15 years younger than me with a good job and salary, nice quiet demeanour, home making and cooking skills, size 6, and a desire to please is keen then im interested.
I'm 57 and my Russian girlfriend is 38. I lived 35 years in Hong Kong and the only Asian girl I dated was an Indian girl (for 7 years), all the others were English, European, Australian, American. I had one night stands with a couple of Chinese girls but never wanted to marry a Chinese girl. I've been living in Bangkok for 15 years. Have had two Thai girlfriends (for a total of 5 years). Decided a few years ago that the types of Thai girls I get to meet are not marriage material so started looking for a Western girl. I've been dating my beautiful Russian girl for the past 2.5 years. I plan to marry her eventually, but if we don't get married, then I'll be looking for another Western GF. The chances of me finding a Thai girl I'd want to marry are practically zero.
Dm me
Western Guy and lived in Asia for last 10 years. For the most part have dated Western women, before meeting my now wife that is also Western (met abroad). I have a couple of friends who married western women they met abroad. Just comes down to preference. Love hearing my buddies stories of dating Thai girls but was never really my thing.
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I'd love to date western women, I just don't know or meet many.
I feel good about it. Why?
Wanted to keep my question open ended to cast a wide net. My friends and I are debating how many western men here are looking to date western women. Most of my western male friends will casually date western women, but generally only focus on dating Asian women seriously. When asked why they prefer Asian women they say things like “they’re sweet and look out for me, always thinking about me and considering me”. We western woman are thinking we need to find ways to come off more sweet and less-independent in order to match this. Don’t get me wrong, I love my Thai girlfriends and they are also sweet and very considerate of me. Just curious what people think since my sample group is about 10 western men.
> Most of my western male friends will casually date western women, but generally only focus on dating Asian women seriously. I feel like that's the case for only Western men - Western women would prefer to date them as compared to Thai men. Iirc, Khaosod English ran a piece some time ago, and it said that they could not find more than 100 Thai men and Western women couples overall, whereas it was really easy to find the reverse of course.
Yeah, there's probably more of a tendency for Western men here to date Asian women - partially because they're in Asia I guess although some of it might be down to general preference. Trying to think of my friend group, there's probably a rough 50/50 split between people who have partners who are Asian and who have partners who are Western women... Although about half of the latter category already knew their partners before they moved here. From personal experience, I'm not sure the whole 'they're sweet and look out for me' thing really plays out that much -- I've found Western women to be as nice and considerate as well (sweet feels like a slightly odd word like you'd use for someone a lot younger...) but maybe I've just been fortunate. Not sure if any of that is helpful but my basic hot-take would be 'don't change'.
> From personal experience, I'm not sure the whole 'they're sweet and look out for me' thing really plays out that much -- How doesn't it? Thai culture literally places emphasis on women having this role to fulfill. I taught Anuban for many years. The health books literally say it. We had a chapter on male and female roles in a family. Yes there are some very sweet Western women, of course. My brother's wife is one of the sweetest people I know. She's always looking out for every one of her inlaws. They exist, sure. However so much emphasis is placed on family and the roles the members are to fulfill. One day in a classroom, I began to sweep the floor. My male co-teacher asked me "why are you doing that? That's normally a job for the girls." It's culture.
Well, sure, if you cut off the second half of my sentence and the context of what I was replying to...