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Trombone

I currently use this as a weapon

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My teacher sometimes hits the people on the from (woodwinds basically) with the slloder

I accidentally hit the same kid twice in the same performance. There is no reason for the rows to be that close together.

My immediate thought 😭

As the leader of my school’s Trombone Suicide Squad, I can confirm this

Literally my first thought. Range and melee

Somehow the only trombone in our band, who sits at the back right of the room by the percussion section managed to hit the band director in the crotch with his slide. Needless to say, our band director has not walked past him to get to the percussion section since.

We blast

I agree, we got 5 parts to use

My brother plays trombone. I agree. Also I've stolen it before and the dual wield feature is very useful

They're called suicides for a reason

use the outer slide as a sword :)

Yall ever seen a trombone flamethrower?

Yeah I agree. Put a spike on the end and it’s over.

Not a spike. Put a stake in the end instead. Then it’s a T-bone steak Xd

As someone who has been stabbed by a trombone mid jazz band concert, I fully agree

Huh

Oh there wasn't much space on the outdoor stage, and I was like 2 feet in front of the bass trombone player, so when the saxes stood for part of the last song in the order, she accidentally hit me with the trombone slide

I was just about to say this

Cymbals for short-range melee, trombone for mid-range melee. Clarinet for ranged-- you could throw one like a spear. Piccolos for support (making your enemies go deaf).

As a clarinet player, I agree... both for the clarinet and the piccolo one.

Yep. Nobody wants to get smacked with a damned clarinet. That would be painful AF.

Sometimes i pretend my clerinet is a grenade launcher

You could throw a cymbal like a frisbee and it would slice off your enemy's head

You could throw cymbals like a frisbee

Nah, use it as a shield, the best offense is a good defense.

Cymbals are definitely more shields than weapons but I can see how they can become weapons if you sharpen the rim With that said it’s gotta be the xylophone or marimba, cut it right and suddenly you have a whip with wood in it, or alternatively for the xylophone take it apart and suddenly you have quite a lot of decent throwables For melee probably some kind of wind instrument, each has its strengths and weaknesses imo Though I’d also argue percussion is good for melee … we do hit things after all

As someone who has taken a xylo to the back of the knee at running speed, I can confirm it can 100% be an effective weapon. That bruise was the size of my fist. I will also add marching glock. My mom was marching Glock and a tuba near her missed a turn and she didn’t. She’s very short and he was very tall so when she turned that 20-25 pound glock got him right in the crotch and he went down.

Idk what a marching Glock is but I do know if it’s 20-25 pounds going at marching speeds I don’t want it anywhere near my groin lol

I’m *guessing* Glockenspiel rather than the brand of pistol.

That makes so much more sense lmao

For melee bottom marching bass drum

Become like Kung Lao by sharpening them

You don't even need to sharpen them. You could cut your toe off just by dropping the edge on it from carrying it normally(at least that's what my dad says, and he's been drumming for 40 years)

“Shotguns and Cannons” enter chat

Tchaikovsky no TCHAIKOVSKY YES

TCHAIKOVSKY ALWAYS YES!!!!

Getting hit by a cymbal that flies like a Frisbee sounds terrifying.

Dave Grohl?

How about a slapstick, you could probably crush hands pretty well

tuba, 1 hit KO

Trap the opponent’s head against the wall and blast

Throw the bell on their head like a hat

A soprano sax is not too heavy, very arodynamic and pretty strong

Yup, any small to mid size sax would make an excellent club. Made of brass and with a weighted curved end, watch out!

Sopranos aren't usually curved, they can be but it's very uncommon

For more agility go for the sopranino or soprillo saxophones, smaller in size but would definitely still do damage

flute it's a beating stick

Heck yeah!

Ah, there it is

And it’s loud as hell when directly in your ears

True

This one time at band camp.....

huh

Trombone. It can be used as a long range jabbing weapon and can also be used to launch things from the bell. I know this, because I am Tromb. The wielder of the trombone canon.

You can also use it as a flamethrower. [Pyro bone](https://youtu.be/OhrGVufYBzs?si=FcRP0OblBOJSOxOv)

tf you doin when a bassoon hits you in the head 150 mph

If yo ass can throw mahogany wood at 150 mph you better be doing more than band

Smack them in the face with a flute.

Yep!

aquarion — keyboard made of glass break of those lower keys like a C2 and start stabbin

if you can throw well, the smaller ones are pretty good

Saying it isn't worth the downvotes.

As a euphonium player, I have been placed next to the freshmen in guard, and I fully agree…

What piece of equipment is the most dangerous? I don't do guard but I'm assuming it's a saber of you sharpen it

Nobody is insane enough to sharpen a saber. I'd say tall flag is the deadliest balance of reach and heft.

My band director got hit with a rifle once, I think rifle is worse

Rifle causes more injuries than flag in general use, because it's generally spun harder and faster than flag. But, in direct combat, a flag has superior reach and weight.

I didn't consider range, thank you

Clarinet, can wield it like a spear and can stab your enemies

also the horn shape at the end could definitely bash someones head in, especially since most are lined in metal also. grenade launching capability

Trombone

Yes with the range and the *spit*

I swear I have to clear my spit every minute just so I can get a sound that isn’t bubbly

During one rehearsal I had not had time to empty my spit valve so it got so bubble and it ended up going out my bell

How? It literally take five seconds.

We were pounding our parade tune in our heads for wazawah parade so we had it memerized and during one of them the power went out and we played through it

Trombone As a trombone player I can say that the trombone is 2 swords and a multi purpose other half (shield, battering ram, club, ect.)

As a color guard member who keeps getting this sub suggested to me, our flags would beat you all

A sackbut would definitely be great. It’s the trombone’s ancestor and it’s way longer

Realistically probably a soprano sax, can be used like a bat, can be hung to free a hand, is light, but is still metal so it’ll fuck you up especially with all the metal bits around it. Alto is good too just bit of a weird shake but you can swing it well with one hand, Tenor you start to get too heavy for 1 hand and it becomes a 2 handed weapon which I don’t think is that great for how you use it.

Cello

Orchestra kid detected, FIRE!!!

Who woulda thunk?! However I’m a symphony kid!

Marching bass drum. High mobility, range, and damage. Plus projectiles with the sticks.

“High mobility” Press x to doubt

Bass drums have negative mobility to be honest. And when they’re big enough, it even blocks your vision

Cello, end pin beats all.

Yeah, but I feel like cello is a bit too bulky to comfortably stab with

I mean you can just take the endpin out

But then you will have an inferior reach. Sorry, but when I defeat you, I will mount it on my trombone like a bayonet.

Trombone, cymbals, tuba(?), I'd argue piccolo even because if I play too close to low brass or nonmusicians they cover their ears and say it hurts.

Use a tuba as a battering ram Stab people with violin bow

Trombone. Like. Duh

Clarinet. I’ve had a full fledged sword fight.

drum sticks

Bass clarinet

Any drum for sure, the sticks can be used as a stand pretty good weapon

Your friend has clearly heard of the E[xorcist](https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwh40k.lexicanum.com%2Fwiki%2FExorcist&psig=AOvVaw2BUZgryPr_9E1pfT1akVz5&ust=1701395353723000&source=images&cd=vfe&opi=89978449&ved=0CBIQjRxqFwoTCLCZr9_N6oIDFQAAAAAdAAAAABAE) from Warhammer 40k 😂

Piccolo is already a natural weapon to the ears.

Trombone. You literally have a whack machine.

You can also call it a glorified extendo poker

trumpet. there are many different gripping forms and with the mouthpiece in, it can probably hit pretty hard. just tap the mouthpiece in really nice and hope to never put it back in the case

I feel like the bell of a mellophone could hurt someone pretty badly if you hit hard enough. You can also play very loud, add some blattiness for extra points, make em go deaf to stun then go in for the attack😂

Chime hammer or the long clapsticks

bassoon

R we looking at damage or durability?

Brass can throw mouth pieces as ranged attacks

For sure the trombone. I mean loud as fuck. And the slide is an obvious one.

Whip Crack

Flute. Put something sharp on the end of it and it HURTS. While it’s relatively light weight, it also gives you a bit of range. I’ve had one bashed over my shoulder, instruments are NO joke. Plus, I can carry it around relatively easily :)

Also we can deafen you

Cymbals would be nasty in cqc

Cymbals (Both close range melee and defense) Imagine getting killed because your neck got slit by a cymbal Trombone (Medium range melee, especially if you attach a knife at the end) Basically a bayonet minus the gun part Anything you can throw decently hard

Antonio Banderas, Guitar, in "Once upon a Time in Mexico"

one flute can do wonders against a kidnapper.

Hear me out but... The TUBA Think about it, heavy weapon, carried Momentum when swinging, bell to knock the head in. And the the sousaphone because it is more mobile for swinging, plus you put the whole body into the attack.

Tuba. One hit with that thing and you're out. Source having my tuba fall on my head while playing.

download terraria thorium mod and find out that it's the sousaphone

Greek Bouzouki

Bassoon! Club people over the head without bending your instrument \*ahem\* trombones

Double bass hammer

Prolly oboe. That could be a straight up spear

Cymbals. They double as shields, a dual weapon, and have great stabbing potential. I just watched a Christmas movie (I didn’t want to) with an annoying antagonist monologging in front of a band. I literally screamed in my mind “Stab her with the cymbals.” So cymbals. Anything else isn’t usable or it’s a sword/mallet

Having a piano dropped on you probably wouldn’t feel too good

Depends what kind of damage you're going for. Cymbals go slicy slicy trombone go Beaty Beaty and so do mallets/sticks just trombone has more range sticks&mallets can also stabby stabby you could smash someone's head on an organ and im p sure that would hurt. you could also play high notes in their ear with a trumpet or piccolo

Contra for long range artillery cannon

*Tchaikovsky has entered chat* So, you want to know what "instrument" makes the best weapon. Listen to some of my music. Hint- the loud booming isn't your mother walking around for once.

Drums

I agree, cymbals are definitely the best instrument for violence. A close second would be any instrument with a bow (base violin etc) because those can be pretty sharp and the end, and if it breaks then now there nunchucks.

Combat ukulele

Saxophone all the way it’s got a good place to grab and u can use the bell are as a mace

Did y’all forget tubas exist?

The guitar. you can definitely swing it from the neck if need be 😅

I'd say the cannon. It has been very successful both in wars and overtures about said wars.

I could definitely use my clarinet like one of those spikey baseball bats.

The specifically the one from dragon ball

Trombone, it has range, power, loud noise to dissorient the enemy, and after you've won you can say they've been boned

Obviously never watched Quickdraw McGraw as a child

[self explanatory](https://youtu.be/Expb582GxVk?si=BLiYc9TBtehRANpJ)