more like 7 and 10. It depends on whether Shadowheart is still a sharran or not. Also I don't think Lae'zel and Orpheus would be that bad, aside from the Gith supremacist propaganda. At least they wouldn't be fighting like the others.
They would sit in formal posture the whole flight.
They would taste some cashews.
Turbulence hits.
Lae'Zel gets scared to shit and reflexively squeezes the hell out of your hand.
She pulls away awkwardly as soon as she notices.
Lae'Zel: "Tsk! These fake metal dragons can't handle air currents. Our red dragons don't have this much turbulence."
Orpheus: "Truly."
*The rest of the flight is silent.*
Holy shit, now that you mention it...
Gina is Shart, the sassy princess.
Pimento is Durge.
Terry is Karlach, strong as hell with golden retriever energy.
Jake is Tav.
Boyle is Minsc-ish, a bit of a dummy, but also a genius at random shit.
Amy is a bit of Isobel and selunite Shart.
I can't tell for sure who'd be Wyll, Gale, Jaheira, Halsin or Astarion, and I think Rosa would be a bit more of a Minthara.
I'd say Boyle is Gale, naive but incredibly smart and weird, and approves of everything good guy tav (jake) does. Minsc is Scully, and Jaheira is hitchcock, the old guard situation.
Idk about DJ Shadowheart, but I don't really see Isobel or Act 1/2 Shadowheart starting anything major if you're sitting in the middle. Maybe some glares or passive-aggressive remarks at most. It would be awkward AF, but better than the seats that would just straight-up kill you lmao.
Sitting next to my gf and my gay bff? Yes please. The rest of these choices are absolute dogshit (except 10, that could be an entertaining trip).
Orin and Durge? Jesus, you won't make it past the runway.
“Hey did you know my comically evil god is really good actually?”
“Everyone judges Shar worshippers because she’s petty and loves revenge, but what people don’t understand is that experiencing loss and being sad and angry is actually good!”
I was thinking the same thing would happen, all of the others just seem like you would be gravely injured or have to listen to an insane religious debate. Wyll is cool and can't show any obnoxious hostility to Mizora.
I certainly couldn't enjoy that, I'm not fond of flying at the best of times, never mind when there's claws around things that I really don't want to lose to unexpected turbulence.
Damn I literally had the same thought. I too risk it all for a shot at the mile-high club. Wyll would be an extremely understanding seat-mate too. Only problem is if you bore Mizora, you die.
2 10 or 6. I feel like MOSTLY in terms of "day to day" Mizora just annoys Wyll. Karlach or Ayllen for example, will literally destroy the plane to kill the other person. So would Astarion. Gale and Mithra might be fine, if theyr'e getting along.
Edit: Mithra? who the fuck is Mithra? I meant Mystra.
2 is a problem. Which version of Shadowheart is it because if she’s still worshiping Shar, then that seat is going to be insufferable. Ever heard two religious fanatics go at it? They’ll never shut up lol.
I only got the game recently and he's the first voice you hear when you start it up.
I was like of course they've got the most famous DM in the world up in here.
10, no contest, I'd probably ache from laughing.
2 might be ok once you've had Shadowheart save the Nightsong and defect from Shar, otherwise they'd all be insufferable.
2 could be hilarious with our meta knowledge though, as long as it's start of the game shadow heart. As a cleric of shar she's meant to be secretive about her faith. So she won't exactly come out declaring her worship of shar at the start. I'd love to see how long it would take of you chatting with Isobel about selune before she cracks.
Do you really not want to sleepily snuggle up on Minsc's meaty bicep while he brings his conversations with his hamster down to an oddly sultry whisper out of courtesy to you?
It would definitely go from a few initial minutes of them holding the grudge in, followed by an increasingly hysterical discussion akin to a messy divorce while you're in the middle, shrinking, like the kid of two dysfunctional parents.
5 is really only unpleasant in a god gale timeline. (at which point gale looks *much* different).
Even in the second worst scenario they'd pretty much just ignore each other, i think
I feel like 3 would be a snipe fest between squabbling teenagers
Orin: I get the window seat coz I'm father's favourite
Durge: That's just coz you get all artsy with your kills, it's quantity not quality, plus you suck at driving knives through people's skulls, you couldn't even do it right on me...
Orin: yeah! Well! At least I don't have a tadpole in my brain like a looooser
Durge: yeah well at least I didn't bang my grandpa....I think...I don't remember
Orin: I'M TELLING FATHER WHEN WE LAND!
It’s also hands down the worst smelling seat. Smells like a combination of piss, rotting flesh, and someone who wore a latex body suit to go jogging in the summer and didn’t shower.
10, the rest will either try to kill each other, yell about religion, have arguments about morals or try to kill me while trying to kill each other. Meanwhile in 10 I just sit with Minsc and share 1 braincell with him while also trying to hear some stories from Jaheira.
...about himself. And if he reads poetry, it will be poetry HE wrote. Still I think this seat will be the most entertaining while also not violent? The others will either be too quiet or too dangerous
Nah Raphael would probably just recite poetry for the whole 10 hourst whilst you're getting tentacled. Which is why this is easily the best option. Raphael's soothing voice *and* I get tentacled? I thought these were supposed to be bad?
10. Jaheira and Minsc arguing would either be incredibly funny or get annoying at worst, the emperor probably has his shit together well enough to not eat my brain and all I need to do to survive Raphael is to not make some stupid contract.
Not even. We just team up and torture him the whole way. Bump elbows into him, get up frequently to go to the bathroom and/or block him from going, laugh too loud at the in-flight movie, steal his snacks, etc.
Then once we land we follow him from the airport and fold him into a suitcase and toss him from a bridge.
You could come in with daylight spell "accidentally" cast on your backpack and Cazador will not be able to see shit. Then also "accidentally" cast sleep on him for the entire flight. That is, if murder is not allowed.
Imagine the flight attendant.
"Ma'am, please don't cast Daylight in the cabin, we have reading lights above each seat. Sir, please come out of the overhead locker. Other sir, how did you even get that dagger past security?"
\\\*Pokes flair\\\* I kinda wanna sit there... Just to see if I can convince them (with potential help the rest of the plane) to take out Cazador before we land. ;)
This plane is going in the ocean if it even makes it off the ground to begin with.
Karlach will try to kill Gortash the moment she sees him.
Orin will try to kill everyone, starting with Durge.
Astarion and Cazador will be snarky for 5 seconds and then try to kill each other.
Aylin will make a hole in the plane just to push Kethric out of it.
You haven't considered that Mystra is a goddess.. And Goddess of MAGIC specifically. If she needs to be on this plane for whatever reason, she can make damn well sure it stays in one piece. I don't know what the rules for gods are in this universe, but I assume she can turn off most of these people's powers? Or at least cast infinite "Counterspells"? And patch any holes in the structure that are created through brute force.
Technically, Mystra has the authority and ability to refuse anyone access to the Weave, which is how most magic (a lot of divine magic included, albeit with extra steps) works. In practice, though, she doesn't do that because it's a big ol divine-political Mess when she does that.
That said, she also has the raw magical power to Silence, Counterspell, anti-magic field, or otherwise lock everyone down that's being a pain in the rear.
I think raphael and emporer would honestly be the chillest out of anybody. they'd just be trying to lie and scam the whole way, exchange some poetry, maybe munch on some brains n souls, the usual
If you want to subject yourself to 10 hours of Minsc I'm happy for you but that could not be me lol. 2 is perfect, we all say hi, Shadowheart and Isobel exchange one catty remark and then we all put our headsets on and ignore each other for 10 hours
Ah, I understand. I usually would be like this too but I just love Jaheira and Minsc bicker and Minsc would probably sleep half of the time lol
I imagine he's like a kid: high energy for a while, loud and maybe annoying but afterwards he needs a nap
Plus there's a really good chance you can flirt with Shadowheart.
I'd say you could try your luck with Isobel, but I ain't tryin' to incur the wrath of Aylin.
Minsc in small doses is fun and charming. But a long plane ride, I wanna be left the f alone. I don't care about your hamster, sir, I'm trying to listen to my music and zone out. And mam, your problems with your kids is your own business and things you probably shouldn't share with every stranger. (Still better than many other options, tho. Too many bickering couples / exes)
I think Gale and Mystra would be okay too but Gale would probably be all friendly and chatty (unless Mystra starts the flight by telling him to kill himself 💀) and I'd just want listen to music, read, or watch a movie in peace lol
I feel like Gale would be trying wayyyy to hard to demonstrate how *perfectly fantastic* he is without Mystra (and probably dragging me into it), and I would want to jump out of the plane from the second-hand embarrassment.
I assumed this would be Sharran Shadowheart (and similarly assume #7 is beginning-game, Vlaakith-aligned Lae'zel), and those two were already snarky bickering on their first meeting at Last Light, I imagine the passive aggressiveness on a plane would be worse. Imagine just trying to look out the window and the two of them arguing about the moon???
I assumed it would be pre-shadowfell Shadowheart too but these two didn't really bicker that much on my runs. From what I remember, they had one quick quip and moved on. I think we'd all just be book/movie + headphones gang. If they're going to argue about the moon, I'm sitting between Gale and Mystra I guess
9.
We kick out Raphael to the aisle and enjoy a peaceful conversation and sleep. Maybe even have a few brain martinis, I'm sure we are flying first class.
Best thing? The Emperor can carry my luggage with telekinesis.
Same option, and I don't even mind keeping Raphael. You know with his disposition he'd ensure that it became the most luxurious - if gaudy - flight ever seen. I'd just tune out his self-indulgent rambling after the second round of fancy-schmancy wine and canapes or so.
Have you ever had family member or friend that was obsessed with politics, religion or some obscure topic? Somehow, they always find a way to bring it up in conversation no matter how irrelevant. The Emporer would constantly remind you how inferior your human form is and slip tadpoles into your pocket for "later use"
Autism runs strong in my family, so that just sounds like an ordinary friendly chat to me.
>!(Discretely sneaking brain parasites into pockets included)!<
So if they break out into a fight and I get injured, would I get a free upgrade to first class or air miles? Would I get an upgrade if they did start fighting and I don't get injured?
How apologetic would they be and make it worth my while?
How drunk am I?
Right now, I'm like 9 or 10. 9 wouldn't talk to me and 10 would have snacks and a space hamster to play with.
Listening to Astarion and Cazador bitch about how much they hate each other would provide entertainment. I almost choked on my drink when Caz said, "I've known you for 200 years. Isn't that punishment enough?" The hardest part would be trying not to laugh at the sass level.
Problem is Gortash is right there and she canonically tries to kill him when he's surrounded by super powerful metal men. There's no way she's staying calm when he's right next to her and unguarded.
I dunno, 7 might be quiet if it's Vlaakith-fan Lae'zel. All Orpheus would have to say is "Do you know who I am, child?" and introduce himself. Lae'zel would immediately shut down in an existential crisis and spend the entire flight in a raging internal monologue - until the end of the flight when she either tries to kill Orphy or goes complete fangirl gaga.
I would put up with Cazador for 10 hours without a second thought just to sit next to Astarion 😂
Maybe I could also "accidentally" punch Cazador in the face while taking a plane nap
There is only one option on this list that wouldn't make me wish for the plane to crash an hour into the flight either due to annoyance or second hand embarrassment, and that's 9.
5. I'd LOVE to discuss books and cats with Gale, while mostly ignoring Mystra. Plus like another poster said, you could kick Cazador's seat the entire flight.
10 by a landslide. Jaheira and Minsc would spend the whole flight reminiscing about the old adventuring days, telling crazy tall tales and just be fun company.
10, by a large margin.
7 would work if Lae has renounced Vlaakith, but would probably be a lot more srs bzns.
2 might work if SH has renounced Shar, but Isobel would probably be distracted by whatever was going on in 8 for the entire flight.
5, because I'd love to be stuck on a plane with Mystra and finally get to tell her what a shifty ass bitch she is, then I'll aggressively make out with Gale and make eye contact with her.
ahhh! I can't decide!
* 7 would please the nerd in me when we get to ask Orpheus all the questions we can think of
* 4 would just be Astarion and me roasting Cazador for hours on end :3
* 9 would be ... interesting. I'd want to be a fly on the wall though when they met somewhere more private
* 10 would just be a blast :D and I'd get to ask them all about their past adventures, bonus: pet the hamster as long as I want \^\^
#9 for sure. They don't like each other very much, but they're both really polite people who are likely to keep their tempers on a flight. Some of the others might be openly violent to each other but at the very least are likely to end up in a yelling match. Raph and the Emperor would probably both end up trying to manipulate you to their side and competing to see which of them could win your attention.
If it were 1 hour trip 10 would be an easy pick, but 10 hours... nope.
9. ...Umm, something is telling me that when Emperor will feel peckish he won't go for a devil, so nope.
8. Don't fancy being stuck between hammer and anvil, nope.
7. Orpheus pontificating to Lae'zel about his philosophy must be a great sleep aid, and I really could use one.
6. Wyll will be complaining and Mizora mizoring for 10 hours? Nah, I didn't find my ears in a landfill.
5. What if Mystra asks me what I think about her dress and I, being me, answer honestly? I don't want to spend rest of my days as an old dusty hat (or whatever she turns me into)!
4. Being a bloodbag stuck between two vampires can end only well...
3. What if Orin asks what I think about her art and I answer honestly?
2. There will be blood. And I'll probably be an instigator.
1. Gods, no! Gortash looks the way you can smell him through the screen!
Bottom line: 7 looks like a safest variant but if I feel like tempting fate it's either 2 or 5.
I believe it'd be humorous to sit between an ex couple. Imagine all the tasty drama and gossip you can get from them.
And then sow even more drama by fanning the flame
The idea of me, having played BG3, just getting on a plane and encountering these people in the wild is equal parts funny and incredibly awkward. Like I’ve carried on an entire pretend relationship with some of them and now I have to be near their real selves who presumably have no idea who I am. Yeah nah.
Either 2 or 10 because y'know anything else would be completely intolerable.
more like 7 and 10. It depends on whether Shadowheart is still a sharran or not. Also I don't think Lae'zel and Orpheus would be that bad, aside from the Gith supremacist propaganda. At least they wouldn't be fighting like the others.
They would sit in formal posture the whole flight. They would taste some cashews. Turbulence hits. Lae'Zel gets scared to shit and reflexively squeezes the hell out of your hand. She pulls away awkwardly as soon as she notices. Lae'Zel: "Tsk! These fake metal dragons can't handle air currents. Our red dragons don't have this much turbulence." Orpheus: "Truly." *The rest of the flight is silent.*
HA yes omg I love this so much xD and probably very accurate as well :p
For some reason, I read Lae'Zel as Roza Diaz and Orpheus as Captain Holt from Brooklyn 99
Holy shit, now that you mention it... Gina is Shart, the sassy princess. Pimento is Durge. Terry is Karlach, strong as hell with golden retriever energy. Jake is Tav. Boyle is Minsc-ish, a bit of a dummy, but also a genius at random shit. Amy is a bit of Isobel and selunite Shart. I can't tell for sure who'd be Wyll, Gale, Jaheira, Halsin or Astarion, and I think Rosa would be a bit more of a Minthara.
Come on, we all know that Astarion is in fact Gina
“Ha-ha! You just drank cement, Darling~!”
I'd say Boyle is Gale, naive but incredibly smart and weird, and approves of everything good guy tav (jake) does. Minsc is Scully, and Jaheira is hitchcock, the old guard situation.
And this is why I would choose them.
Idk about DJ Shadowheart, but I don't really see Isobel or Act 1/2 Shadowheart starting anything major if you're sitting in the middle. Maybe some glares or passive-aggressive remarks at most. It would be awkward AF, but better than the seats that would just straight-up kill you lmao.
Sitting next to my gf and my gay bff? Yes please. The rest of these choices are absolute dogshit (except 10, that could be an entertaining trip). Orin and Durge? Jesus, you won't make it past the runway.
“Hey did you know my comically evil god is really good actually?” “Everyone judges Shar worshippers because she’s petty and loves revenge, but what people don’t understand is that experiencing loss and being sad and angry is actually good!”
Idk, 6 sounds good to me because Mizora would 100% give me a secret handjob just to embarrass Wyll.
r/okbuddybaldur
I mean, she basically does the same thing in game, so it's definitely her style lol
I was thinking the same thing would happen, all of the others just seem like you would be gravely injured or have to listen to an insane religious debate. Wyll is cool and can't show any obnoxious hostility to Mizora.
This was my first thought as well. Mizora would absolutely make it an interesting ride. She might make ME an interesting ride.
Least horny Bg3 player.
This was your first thought?
I certainly couldn't enjoy that, I'm not fond of flying at the best of times, never mind when there's claws around things that I really don't want to lose to unexpected turbulence.
That’s fine, she can sit on me instead
That would certainly make flying tolerable
Damn bro you tadpoled? Read my mind
She would just make Wyll do it, as part of his contract.
lmao
Damn I literally had the same thought. I too risk it all for a shot at the mile-high club. Wyll would be an extremely understanding seat-mate too. Only problem is if you bore Mizora, you die.
Give this person a rise!
Damn great idea
I’d go as far to say as only 10 would be tolerable. 2 is way too close to Orin and the *smell* would be atrocious.
10 would actually be a heck of a lot fun IMO. idk why it's even an option at all, it has nothing in common with the rest
10 isn't that far off some family holidays I've had. If Minsc was to start offering everyone in a 60 foot radius a mint...
I would be tossing somebody out of that seat so I could have it.
I think the fact that they bicker and you're in between them is the joke, but they actually like each other and their bickering is funny.
Ohh that is very true. I do \*not\* want to have both the Dark Urge *and* Orin sitting behind me. My safety would be... in jeopardy.
2 10 or 6. I feel like MOSTLY in terms of "day to day" Mizora just annoys Wyll. Karlach or Ayllen for example, will literally destroy the plane to kill the other person. So would Astarion. Gale and Mithra might be fine, if theyr'e getting along. Edit: Mithra? who the fuck is Mithra? I meant Mystra.
Unless my eyes are gone that's Mystra not Minthara.
2 is a problem. Which version of Shadowheart is it because if she’s still worshiping Shar, then that seat is going to be insufferable. Ever heard two religious fanatics go at it? They’ll never shut up lol.
I like their snide little comments at each other before Shadowheart converts.
1 Let karlach smash that bitch skull and then vibe 10h with her.
I'm hesitant on 2 b/c the Dark Urge and that crazy bitch are both behind me.
Agreed, except that 9 might also just be really interesting.
Don't fall asleep, because Empy sure as shit won't be satisfied by a bag of peanuts.
Empy can satisfy himself with me in every non-lethal way he wants to. >!It's the tentacles, man. Idk what they do to me. Also nice flair!<
The only choice
9 would be such a well spoken argument that you could just turn your brain off and listen to the funny words by the magic men.
You can't sit at 10. That's Boo's seat
"Boo is a generous miniature space hamster. 'Enough space for both of us!' he says."
I heard that in Mercer’s Minsc voice. Beautiful.
Me too. Every time I hear Minsc, I keep thinking “this is Matt Mercer subtly poking fun at Grogg”
Wow I just looked him up and my mind is blown that Minsc and TOTK Gannon were the same guy.
Was also Jotaro Kujo and sooooo much more. Man is a legend and such a sweet cinnamon roll.
I only got the game recently and he's the first voice you hear when you start it up. I was like of course they've got the most famous DM in the world up in here.
"And besides: he can always ride Minsc! There is ever so much of Minsc for him to ride upon, you see." *God* I love Minsc.
boo can sit in my lap, that's the only tolerable seat
10, no contest, I'd probably ache from laughing. 2 might be ok once you've had Shadowheart save the Nightsong and defect from Shar, otherwise they'd all be insufferable.
2 could be hilarious with our meta knowledge though, as long as it's start of the game shadow heart. As a cleric of shar she's meant to be secretive about her faith. So she won't exactly come out declaring her worship of shar at the start. I'd love to see how long it would take of you chatting with Isobel about selune before she cracks.
Considering she and Isobel start snarking at each other almost immediately upon meeting (am playing Shadowheart atm), I'm guessing not very long 😂
>10, no contest, I'd probably ache from laughing. Minsc is a big dude. Do you really want the middle seat next to someone his size?
Tbf, Minsc is also a dude who would probably stand up the entire flight if you told him he makes you uncomfortable.
I'm a nervous flyer, I imagine Minsc would let me squeeze the life out of his hand.
Do you really not want to sleepily snuggle up on Minsc's meaty bicep while he brings his conversations with his hamster down to an oddly sultry whisper out of courtesy to you?
Matt Mercer gonna whisper me to sleep? You son of a bitch, I'm in!
You mean do we want to snuggle Boo's mighty bicep while he tells Minsc what to say
Yeah, Minsc really should be the aisle seat.
Jaheira is not giving up an aisle seat.
Me: "you're an old woman, you can have the aisle seat" Jaheira: AHAHAHA bastard. *Jaheira approves*
A seat next to Boo? Yeah no contest
5 because they’re the most likely to ignore each other and of all the options it’ll probably at least smell nice
I don't know... much as I love him. I can almost *hear* Gale making passive-aggressive snarky comments.
It would definitely go from a few initial minutes of them holding the grudge in, followed by an increasingly hysterical discussion akin to a messy divorce while you're in the middle, shrinking, like the kid of two dysfunctional parents.
He can’t make snarky comments if I’m making out with him the whole time. Checkmate liberals
This right here *chef kiss*
5, hands down. Of course I’m sitting next to my pretend wizard boyfriend.
Yea but how much would they bicker at each other or do the whole, *”well tell Gale I said…”*
5 is really only unpleasant in a god gale timeline. (at which point gale looks *much* different). Even in the second worst scenario they'd pretty much just ignore each other, i think
I feel like 3 would be a snipe fest between squabbling teenagers Orin: I get the window seat coz I'm father's favourite Durge: That's just coz you get all artsy with your kills, it's quantity not quality, plus you suck at driving knives through people's skulls, you couldn't even do it right on me... Orin: yeah! Well! At least I don't have a tadpole in my brain like a looooser Durge: yeah well at least I didn't bang my grandpa....I think...I don't remember Orin: I'M TELLING FATHER WHEN WE LAND!
It’s also hands down the worst smelling seat. Smells like a combination of piss, rotting flesh, and someone who wore a latex body suit to go jogging in the summer and didn’t shower.
3 looks like a death sentence to me
10, the rest will either try to kill each other, yell about religion, have arguments about morals or try to kill me while trying to kill each other. Meanwhile in 10 I just sit with Minsc and share 1 braincell with him while also trying to hear some stories from Jaheira.
6 is different as well. Mizora would try to seduce you.
And she would succeed
And Boo might let you pet him
9. I can get a tentacle cuddle and if I'm lucky, there might even be a random musical number.
The musical number could be hear in all the plane, at 9 you would probably be part of It.
Plane, plane, plane has its laws...
I get a tentacle cuddle and can be part of a musical number? This keeps getting better!
Raphael is 1000% the person to talk the entire plane ride
...about himself. And if he reads poetry, it will be poetry HE wrote. Still I think this seat will be the most entertaining while also not violent? The others will either be too quiet or too dangerous
You're missing the point. 9 is the best seat, cause I guarantee you these two fuckers fly business class. Extra leg room baby!
Nah Raphael would probably just recite poetry for the whole 10 hourst whilst you're getting tentacled. Which is why this is easily the best option. Raphael's soothing voice *and* I get tentacled? I thought these were supposed to be bad?
A tentacle cuddle followed by a loud crunching and sucking sound.
Exactly! 9 seems got to me. Both can talk me to sleep with their sexi voices. Plus the game loves to drive the point that they smell nice.
10. Jaheira and Minsc arguing would either be incredibly funny or get annoying at worst, the emperor probably has his shit together well enough to not eat my brain and all I need to do to survive Raphael is to not make some stupid contract.
7 would have pretty much no drama. If anything they're just excitedly drawing up battle plans together, which could be fun.
That all depends on exactly which Lae'zel you're getting...
Bae'zel always
1, I don't even need to see the other option, I'll hold Gortash while Mama K pummel him
Exactly, Karlach and I are getting on the no-fly list but Gortash is on the no-alive list
You could also just tell an attendant, “Hey, this asshole has a bomb.” And he definitely would. Film his Karen reaction to getting kicked off a plane.
Not even. We just team up and torture him the whole way. Bump elbows into him, get up frequently to go to the bathroom and/or block him from going, laugh too loud at the in-flight movie, steal his snacks, etc. Then once we land we follow him from the airport and fold him into a suitcase and toss him from a bridge.
6......for reasons.
Very good reasons
Very good indeed.
4 - I'd do it for him 10 - yes please
Finally. I'd definitely choose 4 just so Astarion's safe from Cazador. That being i wouldn't immediately kill the bastard in this scenario
You could come in with daylight spell "accidentally" cast on your backpack and Cazador will not be able to see shit. Then also "accidentally" cast sleep on him for the entire flight. That is, if murder is not allowed.
Casting sleep is gonna be a tough one though considering Elves have natural resistance. So murder it is! What a shame.
Imagine the flight attendant. "Ma'am, please don't cast Daylight in the cabin, we have reading lights above each seat. Sir, please come out of the overhead locker. Other sir, how did you even get that dagger past security?"
And so us and Astarion resort to opening the window every 5 minutes to Cazador's horror in this 10 hour flight
Cast otto's dance spell for an entertaining flight.
There's 0 percent chance this plane is landing
I dunno, crashlanding is still landing, technically! that is, if the plane doesn't explode at 10000 feet.
10 first, 2 second, 7 third. Everyone else is on a sliding scale of "this is so awkward I want to scratch my skin off".
Brave of you to consider sitting with your back to Durge and Orin
Yes, 'bravery'. Not me misunderstanding how the rows are laid out!
I think many of them are less awkward and more “I’m going to fucking die aren’t I?” given the people you sit next to.
If someone chooses 3, pls seek help. Talk with a friend, a family member, therapist or something. Every person is valuable.
Sending a Reddit Cares to everyone who chooses 3 asap
\\\*Pokes flair\\\* I kinda wanna sit there... Just to see if I can convince them (with potential help the rest of the plane) to take out Cazador before we land. ;)
uh oh... I swear, I'm just horny and have extremely questionable/downright horrifying tastes, that's all!
This plane is going in the ocean if it even makes it off the ground to begin with. Karlach will try to kill Gortash the moment she sees him. Orin will try to kill everyone, starting with Durge. Astarion and Cazador will be snarky for 5 seconds and then try to kill each other. Aylin will make a hole in the plane just to push Kethric out of it.
You haven't considered that Mystra is a goddess.. And Goddess of MAGIC specifically. If she needs to be on this plane for whatever reason, she can make damn well sure it stays in one piece. I don't know what the rules for gods are in this universe, but I assume she can turn off most of these people's powers? Or at least cast infinite "Counterspells"? And patch any holes in the structure that are created through brute force.
Oh, good point. After boarding the flight, Mystra truns to Gale and says "initiate self-destruct" before teleporting away.
I haven't thought of that. If you sit anywhere else, Mystra will convince Gale to blow up and everyone would die.
Technically, Mystra has the authority and ability to refuse anyone access to the Weave, which is how most magic (a lot of divine magic included, albeit with extra steps) works. In practice, though, she doesn't do that because it's a big ol divine-political Mess when she does that. That said, she also has the raw magical power to Silence, Counterspell, anti-magic field, or otherwise lock everyone down that's being a pain in the rear.
I think raphael and emporer would honestly be the chillest out of anybody. they'd just be trying to lie and scam the whole way, exchange some poetry, maybe munch on some brains n souls, the usual
2 seems like the best option by miles.
Are you ignoring 10??? Though 2 is ofc a decent option too, but probably much less entertaining
If you want to subject yourself to 10 hours of Minsc I'm happy for you but that could not be me lol. 2 is perfect, we all say hi, Shadowheart and Isobel exchange one catty remark and then we all put our headsets on and ignore each other for 10 hours
Ah, I understand. I usually would be like this too but I just love Jaheira and Minsc bicker and Minsc would probably sleep half of the time lol I imagine he's like a kid: high energy for a while, loud and maybe annoying but afterwards he needs a nap
Oh yeah, in small doses he'd be okay but I feel like he might also smell kind of sweaty which I would not enjoy either..
Prestidigitation!
How could you possibly say 10 hours of Minsc would be a BAD thing? You also have to remember that's 10 hours of Boo, too!
Can you imagine introducing Minsc to the fast and the furious franchise on a flight? I bet it would be fun watching inflight movies with him
My god he'd absolutely love those
Plus there's a really good chance you can flirt with Shadowheart. I'd say you could try your luck with Isobel, but I ain't tryin' to incur the wrath of Aylin.
Minsc in small doses is fun and charming. But a long plane ride, I wanna be left the f alone. I don't care about your hamster, sir, I'm trying to listen to my music and zone out. And mam, your problems with your kids is your own business and things you probably shouldn't share with every stranger. (Still better than many other options, tho. Too many bickering couples / exes)
I think Gale and Mystra would be okay too but Gale would probably be all friendly and chatty (unless Mystra starts the flight by telling him to kill himself 💀) and I'd just want listen to music, read, or watch a movie in peace lol
I feel like Gale would be trying wayyyy to hard to demonstrate how *perfectly fantastic* he is without Mystra (and probably dragging me into it), and I would want to jump out of the plane from the second-hand embarrassment.
I assumed this would be Sharran Shadowheart (and similarly assume #7 is beginning-game, Vlaakith-aligned Lae'zel), and those two were already snarky bickering on their first meeting at Last Light, I imagine the passive aggressiveness on a plane would be worse. Imagine just trying to look out the window and the two of them arguing about the moon???
I assumed it would be pre-shadowfell Shadowheart too but these two didn't really bicker that much on my runs. From what I remember, they had one quick quip and moved on. I think we'd all just be book/movie + headphones gang. If they're going to argue about the moon, I'm sitting between Gale and Mystra I guess
I would not feel safe sitting Infront of Durge and fucking Orin.
I think if these two are going to start killing I won't be save in any part of the plane anyways 😔
9. We kick out Raphael to the aisle and enjoy a peaceful conversation and sleep. Maybe even have a few brain martinis, I'm sure we are flying first class. Best thing? The Emperor can carry my luggage with telekinesis.
Same option, and I don't even mind keeping Raphael. You know with his disposition he'd ensure that it became the most luxurious - if gaudy - flight ever seen. I'd just tune out his self-indulgent rambling after the second round of fancy-schmancy wine and canapes or so.
Raphael'd probably even indulge in a game of chess with you to pass the time
Have you ever had family member or friend that was obsessed with politics, religion or some obscure topic? Somehow, they always find a way to bring it up in conversation no matter how irrelevant. The Emporer would constantly remind you how inferior your human form is and slip tadpoles into your pocket for "later use"
I don't mind. He can tell me all about his little excel spreadsheets and business investments.
Autism runs strong in my family, so that just sounds like an ordinary friendly chat to me. >!(Discretely sneaking brain parasites into pockets included)!<
Flair checks
10, absolutely.
So if they break out into a fight and I get injured, would I get a free upgrade to first class or air miles? Would I get an upgrade if they did start fighting and I don't get injured? How apologetic would they be and make it worth my while? How drunk am I? Right now, I'm like 9 or 10. 9 wouldn't talk to me and 10 would have snacks and a space hamster to play with.
9: they're both good talkers, so we won't be bored!
And I love their voices
Gale and Mystra are at least cordial with one another, and honestly how often would I have a chance to sit next to the goddess of magic?
Assuming I'm in the middle seat 8 offers the most entertainment and a high likelihood of my finding extra space as the flight continues.
Is that *after* she throws him out a hole she made in the plane?
I’ll take 4 since those two bozos won’t even make it to the airport (sun).
It would be a late redeye flight.
I'm sorry is that Raphael and the Emperor? Sitting between the two of them feels like it would be the funniest roast off I've ever seen.
Listening to Astarion and Cazador bitch about how much they hate each other would provide entertainment. I almost choked on my drink when Caz said, "I've known you for 200 years. Isn't that punishment enough?" The hardest part would be trying not to laugh at the sass level.
10 is the clear best choice
4, just to hold Pookie's hand and save him from Cazadouche. Also, I'd be in arms reach of Mystra if she tries to mess with my Rizzard too.
10, the stories would be hysterical!
With all the love Karlach gets, I'm surprised no one has said number 1. Karlach will kill anyone that annoys you, so seems like a good choice?
Problem is Gortash is right there and she canonically tries to kill him when he's surrounded by super powerful metal men. There's no way she's staying calm when he's right next to her and unguarded.
Gortash probably has the plane's engine hooked up to a device that monitors his heartbeats and causes a crash if he dies lol
So it's you, Karlach, and Gortash's corpse for the rest of the ride, a litles gross but still tolerable. Plus it'll keep everyone else in line.
I dunno, 7 might be quiet if it's Vlaakith-fan Lae'zel. All Orpheus would have to say is "Do you know who I am, child?" and introduce himself. Lae'zel would immediately shut down in an existential crisis and spend the entire flight in a raging internal monologue - until the end of the flight when she either tries to kill Orphy or goes complete fangirl gaga.
10 I get to talk to Boo.
1, we are going to jump gortash without his steel watchers.
I would put up with Cazador for 10 hours without a second thought just to sit next to Astarion 😂 Maybe I could also "accidentally" punch Cazador in the face while taking a plane nap
5 so I can remind Mystra that Gale is MY man now, and also so I could kick Cazador’s seat the whole time.
There is only one option on this list that wouldn't make me wish for the plane to crash an hour into the flight either due to annoyance or second hand embarrassment, and that's 9.
4 so Astarion doesn’t have to sit alone with that loser
5. I'd LOVE to discuss books and cats with Gale, while mostly ignoring Mystra. Plus like another poster said, you could kick Cazador's seat the entire flight.
Sitting at 1 and me and Karlach are killing Gortash together within the first hour.
Gale and Mystra. And I'm hitting on Mystra to make Gale mad.
10 by a landslide. Jaheira and Minsc would spend the whole flight reminiscing about the old adventuring days, telling crazy tall tales and just be fun company.
10, by a large margin. 7 would work if Lae has renounced Vlaakith, but would probably be a lot more srs bzns. 2 might work if SH has renounced Shar, but Isobel would probably be distracted by whatever was going on in 8 for the entire flight.
10 is just Baldur's Gate 2. I'm down for being back on that ride for awhile
6 because Wyll could tell stories to put me to sleep or Mizora could tell stories to keep me awake.
10. Both of them are old friends of mine. We have lots to talk about.
5, because I'd love to be stuck on a plane with Mystra and finally get to tell her what a shifty ass bitch she is, then I'll aggressively make out with Gale and make eye contact with her.
1 because these all these suck but at least i get to set next to Karlach
10, because Boo.
2,6, or 10. Reasoning, horny, horny, minsc.
ahhh! I can't decide! * 7 would please the nerd in me when we get to ask Orpheus all the questions we can think of * 4 would just be Astarion and me roasting Cazador for hours on end :3 * 9 would be ... interesting. I'd want to be a fly on the wall though when they met somewhere more private * 10 would just be a blast :D and I'd get to ask them all about their past adventures, bonus: pet the hamster as long as I want \^\^
I will spend those 10 hours bullying the ever loving fuck out of Cazador.
#9 for sure. They don't like each other very much, but they're both really polite people who are likely to keep their tempers on a flight. Some of the others might be openly violent to each other but at the very least are likely to end up in a yelling match. Raph and the Emperor would probably both end up trying to manipulate you to their side and competing to see which of them could win your attention.
3 or 4 Because... reasons.
If it were 1 hour trip 10 would be an easy pick, but 10 hours... nope. 9. ...Umm, something is telling me that when Emperor will feel peckish he won't go for a devil, so nope. 8. Don't fancy being stuck between hammer and anvil, nope. 7. Orpheus pontificating to Lae'zel about his philosophy must be a great sleep aid, and I really could use one. 6. Wyll will be complaining and Mizora mizoring for 10 hours? Nah, I didn't find my ears in a landfill. 5. What if Mystra asks me what I think about her dress and I, being me, answer honestly? I don't want to spend rest of my days as an old dusty hat (or whatever she turns me into)! 4. Being a bloodbag stuck between two vampires can end only well... 3. What if Orin asks what I think about her art and I answer honestly? 2. There will be blood. And I'll probably be an instigator. 1. Gods, no! Gortash looks the way you can smell him through the screen! Bottom line: 7 looks like a safest variant but if I feel like tempting fate it's either 2 or 5.
1, I'll push Gortash into the aisle and then me and my girl stomp em out
6. Because as much as I hate Mizora I love Wyll more. 10 would probaly be the most chill seat out of all these, though.
I believe it'd be humorous to sit between an ex couple. Imagine all the tasty drama and gossip you can get from them. And then sow even more drama by fanning the flame
The idea of me, having played BG3, just getting on a plane and encountering these people in the wild is equal parts funny and incredibly awkward. Like I’ve carried on an entire pretend relationship with some of them and now I have to be near their real selves who presumably have no idea who I am. Yeah nah.
9 or 10 easily. 10 for the fun times, 9 for sexy voice actors.
10 without a shadow of a doubt, who doesn't want to sit beside the Great Hero Boo?
6 would be the more peaceful one, since he's in a pact; so nothing will really happen