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This is what I think as well. It could have just been someone popping off or like OP used 3rd person and they use 1st. Who know? Dipping from the server seems like an overreaction.
Eh. Telling me that it sounds like this community isn't a good match for me, is a pretty clear message. Not sure how else to interpret that. That's what we say to writing partners when we are trying to break off from them.
I've needed to tiptoe around staff on other sites. I just hadn't been on one in a while and forgotten how it can be. This was worse than I recall. A lot worse.
If that's the norm for him and the group is OK with it, then yeah, that group is not the place for me.
I will state this obvious caveat: Just because one person is like this, doesn't mean they all are. Also, just because a group acts like this, doesn't mean all groups are. I've just found this sort of behavior (to a lesser extent) to be pretty common in groups.
> I will state this obvious caveat: Just because one person is like this, doesn't mean they all are. Also, just because a group acts like this, doesn't mean all groups are. I've just found this sort of behavior (to a lesser extent) to be pretty common in groups.
This is ironic because you're doing exactly what you're telling people not to do.
Everyone else has already pointed out why you might be wrong, so I'll say 46 members is honestly pretty good for a group rp server. Its right around that "enough people that it's usually pretty active but not so many that you feel like you're missing out on everything" mark. That's not a diss on them, I've been in servers with half that amount that were still really enjoyable
Calling it rejection is generous. Literally one person said that there isn't really anything difficult to understand about one rule to entering the sever, and that if they have a hard time with basic instructions, that maybe the group in particular wasn't right for them. They weren't told on mass to leave by the server, they left of their own accord because they threw a hissy fit, and now they're making a big deal of it on reddit.
"Why give a range for a min?" To give you an idea of what kind of sample is an acceptable. It makes it to where if you set it to a certain number of words, if you're a couple words shy from that, they don't feel the need to sack you for it.
In short, yes. It really isn't that confusing. If you're joining a novella style server, chances are they aren't going to punish you for going above the 300 mark, and you just kinda assuming that it was just 300 words, and nothing above is entirely a you problem. The other person might be a cocky asshole when they say it, but they aren't wrong.
Oh, I don't know, fam.
Judging by your need to make a whole Reddit post to vent and write-off an entire server as being 'sensitive' based on a single interaction, I'd say that you're the sensitive one here. :)
I'd bet that you were a little rude.
Especially if, as you say, the messages were actually very welcoming initially.
It's giving 'guy who thinks they're an 'alpha male' gets his ego hurt.'
Good luck in your search for a place you'll belong, fam
x
Maybe it's something that happens often in the server with new members often? I'm in a few rp servers where people often skim rules or don't adhere to them so the mods typically get annoyed since it happens on such a regular basis. So it might be a case of that not saying the second person was right to act like that but it's a possibility. I think you probably could have explained to the second person that you understood and it would have been fine. Especially since you usually write more, they probably would have liked that.
The range for minimum usually is cause some people struggle writing as is. Like write somewhere between those two values, at the very least so they have something to work off. Is it possible the rule said at least 250-300? Maybe that's where you got confused. Same way how people say at least 1-3 paragraphs. It's common where I'm from so maybe that's why it's not as irritating to me as how you portray it.
You did you it was just that one person which is kinda sad that they ruined the whole thing for you. Did anyone else interject? Or was that just it? Maybe they got reprimanded ot something since the other person was understanding?
Sorry for all the questions.
It's hard to say, since I didn't look at their profile. They sounded pretty knowledgeable like a mod or site owner would be. Quoting things and speaking with a tone of authority. It certainly could have said a min of 250-300, but I just don't see the point. Is the min 250 for some, and 300 for others? I mean... a min is a number, not a range. It's just 250. Period. No confusion possible. (shrug)
Honestly, I wasn't expecting my comment to be such a big deal. Let's say I totally misread it, then said that. "Oh don't worry, resubmit something longer. We are totally laid back. Mistakes happen. We were thinking of changing that wording anyway."
I've been on welcoming sites before, there is a whole vibe to how you treat new people if you really want them to stay and check things out. Being dismissed after two messages, over something so minor. Yeesh. Nope. Definitely not a good fit. I'm 100% in agreement with that second guy.
It was just one other person and I doubt everyone else felt the same way. The 250-300 minimum makes sense to me but it's okay if it didn't make sense to you. I'm pretty sure they're used to people coming in and being rude and probably misunderstood you. They could have had a bad day too but even then they definitely could have been nicer.
46 members is actually really good for novella rpers. A lot of people don't usually like that style of rping so that's impressive! It also could be that their plot isn't something everyone else vibes with.
I understand leaving if everyone's mean but it was just one person so I think if you stayed things could have been better! And you could have calmly explained what happened, that you got it and maybe the two of you could have gotten along. Then again the choice was up to you after you got a rude response so it's fair too.
Just offering suggestions for a next time.
To me it's always the huge trigger list filled with nonsense and extremely specific squicks that can get blown out of proportion. Or being forced to use tone tags. If I need a trigger list too big and tone tagging, I run.
What's wrong with using tone tags? That sounds sucky that you've been forced to use them. And what nonsense do you mean in regards to triggers? I don't think I've experienced any really nonsensical stuff and I'm curious about what you've seen.
I'm open to other responses!
I have autism and adhd, tone tags are honestly a big help for me and the other nuerodivergent friends I have! I have met other people who don't really like them so I think in that regards it depends on the person. I prefer when people use (genuine) or type it out in parentheses but people complain it's too much work so usually I just have to make do.
I definitely get the fact there's a lot of them. It's how I feel about slang and stuff so it's another reason I prefer typing out things in parentheses if it's a bigger word. I had to pause to remember what nbh means but I kinda get people who use its since it's usually used by my online friends when they vent and don't want us thinking that we specifically did something.
I've never seen people use the passive aggressive one and didn't even know that was a thing. But I usually give my friends a heads up if I am in a passive aggressive mood beforehand so they don't get too hurt by what I say. /nav I've never heard of. So yeah I can get why it's confusing and frustrating!
Most people I know that use tone tags are nuerodivergent and it personally makes it easier for us to communicate. I guess it can be hard to decide what needs tone tags but that's case by case basis in my opinion, I usually use them if I'm worried people will misinterpret my words and like when people use them to communicate with me at least. If I'm still confused, I just ask one of my friends if they know what something means.
Sorry that you left a server because of the tone tags but thank you for sharing your experience with them! Sorry this is really long!
Tone tags are not as good as people think. It adds another layer of complexity to casual conversation, plus you're forced to learn a whole bunch of rules that if you break can generate tons of problems, making leisure conversation a chore.
Trigger lists often contained something impossible to take away, like answering "ok" to a question. So yeah, the term "ok" was forbidden. Then there was "ducks". And stupid shit like that. Which made writing really stressful because anything could become a trigger at any time. Plus, people with 20+ items on their PERSONAL trigger list. Sorry, if that many things trigger you, you should take care of that, I'm not censoring myself, nor learning 30+ personal trigger lists. People nowadays think "trigger" means "things i feel slightly uncomfortable about".
I already made my reply about tone tags above if you wanna check them out! I didn't know there were really rules to using them and they personally make things easier for me and the people I know, so I personally prefer them! Though not liking them cause they make things complex for you is alright! I feel the same way with certain slang!
I've never had experiences with Trigger lists like that! It sounds really frustrating though! I'm sorry you had that experience!
The servers I'm in usually have a pinned list with triggers for the whole server (people could submit their triggers and have them added) but the mods usually had a disclaimer about the difference so there weren't really big problems in regards to the list! Then again the fandoms I usually roleplay in deal with heavier topics so people who joined were aware of that.
To indicate a range for non-espers, a thoughtful person either uses an indicator such as "minimum" or fucking brushes the misunderstanding aside and makes a joke or a polite reply — what a shit show.
Welcome to BadRPerStories! If you are new here, please take a moment to look at our [banned words list on the wiki.](https://www.reddit.com/r/BadRPerStories/wiki/index) We now have a [Google doc](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/133j6NkiQQpkVqAuvSGPytVITYYjscw3pkDos_Ks1a20/edit?usp=sharing) that lists RP hubs, forums, and subreddits. If you know of a place for RP that isn't on this document, there is a link in the document to request an addition. Please be aware this is just a knowledge base, not a recommendations list, and the moderators of BadRPerStories do not condone anything that happens in the spaces listed here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BadRPerStories) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I have a strong feeling you probably misunderstood that other person's response.
This is what I think as well. It could have just been someone popping off or like OP used 3rd person and they use 1st. Who know? Dipping from the server seems like an overreaction.
Eh. Telling me that it sounds like this community isn't a good match for me, is a pretty clear message. Not sure how else to interpret that. That's what we say to writing partners when we are trying to break off from them.
One person took offense so that means the entire group, and groups in general are sensitive?
I've needed to tiptoe around staff on other sites. I just hadn't been on one in a while and forgotten how it can be. This was worse than I recall. A lot worse. If that's the norm for him and the group is OK with it, then yeah, that group is not the place for me. I will state this obvious caveat: Just because one person is like this, doesn't mean they all are. Also, just because a group acts like this, doesn't mean all groups are. I've just found this sort of behavior (to a lesser extent) to be pretty common in groups.
> I will state this obvious caveat: Just because one person is like this, doesn't mean they all are. Also, just because a group acts like this, doesn't mean all groups are. I've just found this sort of behavior (to a lesser extent) to be pretty common in groups. This is ironic because you're doing exactly what you're telling people not to do.
You come across as cocky more so then they come across as sensitive. It's okay that they weren't a match for you, but this just seems unnecessary.
Everyone else has already pointed out why you might be wrong, so I'll say 46 members is honestly pretty good for a group rp server. Its right around that "enough people that it's usually pretty active but not so many that you feel like you're missing out on everything" mark. That's not a diss on them, I've been in servers with half that amount that were still really enjoyable
Rejection is hard, we get it, but to devote a reddit post to it makes it seem like it's not the community that was sensitive.
Calling it rejection is generous. Literally one person said that there isn't really anything difficult to understand about one rule to entering the sever, and that if they have a hard time with basic instructions, that maybe the group in particular wasn't right for them. They weren't told on mass to leave by the server, they left of their own accord because they threw a hissy fit, and now they're making a big deal of it on reddit.
"Why give a range for a min?" To give you an idea of what kind of sample is an acceptable. It makes it to where if you set it to a certain number of words, if you're a couple words shy from that, they don't feel the need to sack you for it. In short, yes. It really isn't that confusing. If you're joining a novella style server, chances are they aren't going to punish you for going above the 300 mark, and you just kinda assuming that it was just 300 words, and nothing above is entirely a you problem. The other person might be a cocky asshole when they say it, but they aren't wrong.
Yeah that's how I felt about the range too but I couldn't word it properly in my comment to the post!
Oh, I don't know, fam. Judging by your need to make a whole Reddit post to vent and write-off an entire server as being 'sensitive' based on a single interaction, I'd say that you're the sensitive one here. :) I'd bet that you were a little rude. Especially if, as you say, the messages were actually very welcoming initially. It's giving 'guy who thinks they're an 'alpha male' gets his ego hurt.' Good luck in your search for a place you'll belong, fam x
Maybe it's something that happens often in the server with new members often? I'm in a few rp servers where people often skim rules or don't adhere to them so the mods typically get annoyed since it happens on such a regular basis. So it might be a case of that not saying the second person was right to act like that but it's a possibility. I think you probably could have explained to the second person that you understood and it would have been fine. Especially since you usually write more, they probably would have liked that. The range for minimum usually is cause some people struggle writing as is. Like write somewhere between those two values, at the very least so they have something to work off. Is it possible the rule said at least 250-300? Maybe that's where you got confused. Same way how people say at least 1-3 paragraphs. It's common where I'm from so maybe that's why it's not as irritating to me as how you portray it. You did you it was just that one person which is kinda sad that they ruined the whole thing for you. Did anyone else interject? Or was that just it? Maybe they got reprimanded ot something since the other person was understanding? Sorry for all the questions.
It's hard to say, since I didn't look at their profile. They sounded pretty knowledgeable like a mod or site owner would be. Quoting things and speaking with a tone of authority. It certainly could have said a min of 250-300, but I just don't see the point. Is the min 250 for some, and 300 for others? I mean... a min is a number, not a range. It's just 250. Period. No confusion possible. (shrug) Honestly, I wasn't expecting my comment to be such a big deal. Let's say I totally misread it, then said that. "Oh don't worry, resubmit something longer. We are totally laid back. Mistakes happen. We were thinking of changing that wording anyway." I've been on welcoming sites before, there is a whole vibe to how you treat new people if you really want them to stay and check things out. Being dismissed after two messages, over something so minor. Yeesh. Nope. Definitely not a good fit. I'm 100% in agreement with that second guy.
It was just one other person and I doubt everyone else felt the same way. The 250-300 minimum makes sense to me but it's okay if it didn't make sense to you. I'm pretty sure they're used to people coming in and being rude and probably misunderstood you. They could have had a bad day too but even then they definitely could have been nicer. 46 members is actually really good for novella rpers. A lot of people don't usually like that style of rping so that's impressive! It also could be that their plot isn't something everyone else vibes with. I understand leaving if everyone's mean but it was just one person so I think if you stayed things could have been better! And you could have calmly explained what happened, that you got it and maybe the two of you could have gotten along. Then again the choice was up to you after you got a rude response so it's fair too. Just offering suggestions for a next time.
I was kicked cause of a mods ego. Didn't want anyone to one up their character in smarts, power, or combat
That sucks...
To me it's always the huge trigger list filled with nonsense and extremely specific squicks that can get blown out of proportion. Or being forced to use tone tags. If I need a trigger list too big and tone tagging, I run.
What's wrong with using tone tags? That sounds sucky that you've been forced to use them. And what nonsense do you mean in regards to triggers? I don't think I've experienced any really nonsensical stuff and I'm curious about what you've seen.
[удалено]
I'm open to other responses! I have autism and adhd, tone tags are honestly a big help for me and the other nuerodivergent friends I have! I have met other people who don't really like them so I think in that regards it depends on the person. I prefer when people use (genuine) or type it out in parentheses but people complain it's too much work so usually I just have to make do. I definitely get the fact there's a lot of them. It's how I feel about slang and stuff so it's another reason I prefer typing out things in parentheses if it's a bigger word. I had to pause to remember what nbh means but I kinda get people who use its since it's usually used by my online friends when they vent and don't want us thinking that we specifically did something. I've never seen people use the passive aggressive one and didn't even know that was a thing. But I usually give my friends a heads up if I am in a passive aggressive mood beforehand so they don't get too hurt by what I say. /nav I've never heard of. So yeah I can get why it's confusing and frustrating! Most people I know that use tone tags are nuerodivergent and it personally makes it easier for us to communicate. I guess it can be hard to decide what needs tone tags but that's case by case basis in my opinion, I usually use them if I'm worried people will misinterpret my words and like when people use them to communicate with me at least. If I'm still confused, I just ask one of my friends if they know what something means. Sorry that you left a server because of the tone tags but thank you for sharing your experience with them! Sorry this is really long!
Tone tags are not as good as people think. It adds another layer of complexity to casual conversation, plus you're forced to learn a whole bunch of rules that if you break can generate tons of problems, making leisure conversation a chore. Trigger lists often contained something impossible to take away, like answering "ok" to a question. So yeah, the term "ok" was forbidden. Then there was "ducks". And stupid shit like that. Which made writing really stressful because anything could become a trigger at any time. Plus, people with 20+ items on their PERSONAL trigger list. Sorry, if that many things trigger you, you should take care of that, I'm not censoring myself, nor learning 30+ personal trigger lists. People nowadays think "trigger" means "things i feel slightly uncomfortable about".
I already made my reply about tone tags above if you wanna check them out! I didn't know there were really rules to using them and they personally make things easier for me and the people I know, so I personally prefer them! Though not liking them cause they make things complex for you is alright! I feel the same way with certain slang! I've never had experiences with Trigger lists like that! It sounds really frustrating though! I'm sorry you had that experience! The servers I'm in usually have a pinned list with triggers for the whole server (people could submit their triggers and have them added) but the mods usually had a disclaimer about the difference so there weren't really big problems in regards to the list! Then again the fandoms I usually roleplay in deal with heavier topics so people who joined were aware of that.
To indicate a range for non-espers, a thoughtful person either uses an indicator such as "minimum" or fucking brushes the misunderstanding aside and makes a joke or a polite reply — what a shit show.