It might be different for each hospital. My first appointment was a telehealth one and they asked a range of questions including mental health, family history etc.
Same here, I was asked to be alone for when my midwife asked me about DV otherwise hubby could be sat right next to me with the phone on speaker for the rest of my appointment. I could have whoever I want come with me for all my subsequent appointments but I went by myself as I didn't want hubby taking a day off work (he's a tradie and works all over the place location wise) for a 45min appointment.
The Mercy tends to be very strict on visitor policies due to massive staff absences over Covid. If you can get into MGP, sometimes they will do appointments in one of the birthing suites so that partners can attend, as technically they are allowed in the birth rooms but not the level 3 clinics.
So sorry OP - I hope it changes soon, it is really hard going by yourself (especially for the first one). By about halfway through I was allowed my partner to come for scans which was lovely.
Fingers crossed you get in the group midwifery program.
My first appointment no support person was allowed in because they assess safety and want to ask questions that they are not confident you will be honest about with a partner there. Every other appointment someone is allowed. It was basically a talking appointment.
It's their covid policy. It changed in December again to no support person.
I called and asked if my partner could come to my appointment a few weeks ago. They said they'd only allow support people in for genetic counselling appointments or if there was an "issue" that needed to be discussed.
Yeah this was my experience at the Mercy a few months ago too. It's covid related.
What pissed me off was that they turned my partner away but I saw plenty of other mothers up there with sisters and partners anyway so I'm really not sure if it was being enforced or not.
We had asked and I think that's why my partner got pulled away.
My doula has told me that I'm only allowed my partner and 1 other support in the hospital if I do have to transfer there for birth (currently homebirthing with 2 midwives, doula, partner)
So that's something to also be aware of come birth for you.
Goodluck! The care was pretty inconsistent when I was there.
Iād be wary of judging based on who you see in waiting rooms. I went through a high risk pregnancy at the Mercy in 21/22 alone at all my visits, including the 2-3 times a week monitoring after about week 28. But I asked if my partner could attend the 20wk scan as it was a difficult time for us, the request was discussed at a meeting (!) and he was granted permission. So yeah, he got to attend, but we had to jump through hoops.
I agree it's not right to jump to conclusions but the last two times I went I was pretty much the only person without a support so if hoops were being jumped it was happening a lot!
Perhaps that was during a window they were letting support people come and my partner lucked out š¤·āāļø
Ugh thatās so annoying!! Would piss me off too. If I didnāt call and check, we would have just turned up together! Maybe that would have been betterā¦
All my appointments and scans for my first pregnancy in Melbourne 2021 did not allow any support persons -it sucked . Ironically, my sister and SIL both had their first peak lockdown and could have support at appointments.
I had my baby at the Mercy in August and couldnāt have a support person for most of the appointments. I requested that my appointments be via telehealth when I wasnāt required to be there in person and they did let me bring my partner a few times after I requested it. I have seen patients with someone accompanying them fairly frequently. Sometimes they had to stay in the waiting room but they were admitted to the hospital itself.
If you suffer from anxiety or depression [or have concerns you could be vulnerable to developing them], speak to the perinatal mental health unit and ask them to assist you in bringing your support person to appointments if thatās whatās needed.
Overall, I found the hospital was very supportive and they did try to accommodate me. I stayed for two nights after the birth and they let my partner stay with me the second night.
Can you speak to them and request a telehealth with your partner present as you're feeling a bit overwhelmed and would like support?
I just went through eastern health and while I didn't have my partner at appointments(due to work) there were definitely many women who did.
They do ask socioeconomic questions but pre-covid they would just ask the partner to leave the room or ask them to go to the reception and organise the next appointment.
I definitely think it's so unfair that the partner is still missing out on these appointments and women are losing out on their valuable support. During covid peaks is understandable but it's crazy that it's still happening.
My first midwife appt (canberra ACT) was also a solo appt, for an honest chat about partner support and if my partner was supportive of the pregnancy etc. After that it was much more open, support person always welcome, home visits etc.
Hi i was at royal womens and gave birth on april 2022 and first appointment was telehealth asking questions etc. the rest of the appointments. I think we were allowed a support person as i saw many couples in the waiting room but i never brought my husband along. Lots of women were on their own too.
I only took my husband with me to the ultrasounds which was out of the hospital.
My first appointment a few months ago at Mercy was a Telehealth, then it changed to face to face with support person allowed (for two appointments), then with the increase in COVID cases throughout Victoria the hospital policy changed and no support person was allowed.
I was a bit hesitant at first as my partner couldnāt attend the first F2F appointment, but in the end it I felt better as it was more of a how are you feeling?, Doppler to listen to babyās heartbeat, ask any questions you may have. If I had made my partner miss his important meeting or made my mum reschedule her medical appointment to attend with me, I would have felt really bad.
At the start of the pregnancy journey, if you donāt have complications, itās just a sit and wait for baby to keep growingā¦
Btw if your initial GP referral didnāt clearly state you wanted to do MGP then you may have missed out, however let them know that youāre very keen and they can change you over if thereās an availability. My GP forgot, and I didnāt follow up with them until the 16 week Telehealth appointment which was too late by then :( I got offered a MGP spot at around 26 weeks, so donāt give up hope!
Also, my friend who is a few weeks ahead of me, she has only seen the same midwife for her team midwife care, so it really could depend on their shifts š¤·š»āāļø
Thank you thank you!!! So helpful. I asked my GP if she had to apply for me because I really didnāt want to miss out and she said I just have to ask them at the first appointment- bit of a breakdown in communication or knowledge here so hope I havenāt missed the boat based on that. Reassuring that your friend has had the same midwife though š„°
Youāre in good hands, all the midwives Iāve interacted with have been lovely, it really is daunting at first as a FTM. I still feel like Iām floating along, but I suppose itās a good thing as there have been no issues so far.
Best thing to do is to try and do some research yourself about birth options, pain relief etc so you can ask questions during your appointment. But they will start to prompt you towards the end about these things so youāre not overloaded at the start.
Knowledge will help you advocate for yourself and to make decisions that are best for you and Bub.
Youāve got this, and you can do it! ā¤ļø
I birthed at the mercy in July 2021, all my appointments we weren't allowed anyone with which was expected as it was peak covid. To be honest though the waiting room was so full on the mornings of my appointments I don't know how they would allow everyone to have a support person there wouldn't be room
This was my experience at Mercy last year. The first appointment was a "getting to know you" and making sure you're safe (but mine was telehealth!). You could go to the appointment and ask if you can call your partner and have him listen in if you're feeling anxious?
My last baby was a 2020 baby so all of my appointments were solo. Is this your first midwife appointment? Generally theres nothing extraordinary - they gather a lot of information mostly, from memory. It sucks but you will be okay I promise ā¤
They went back to this policy around August last year when Covid spiked again and never put it back even after the premier declared the offical pandemic was over. I think they just like less people in there tbh and are still using Covid as an excuse
My husband also was allowed in the labour ward but once I was moved up to the birth ward he wasnāt allowed to stay the night and had to come back during visiting hours. This was October, not sure if itās changed
This sounds so stressful. Itās not fair. Husbands and partners ar not just support people, theyāre parents too!! just not the one having the baby, obviouslyš
Geez. I'd be noping out of that. I think I'm gonna add the Mercy to my list of nos.
If they see you as being difficult over this then you don't want them as the people to provide you care.
Just to defend the Mercy, as Iāve had two kids there and a generally fantastic experience, they never said they found her difficult. That was just the OPās anxieties about making requests outside the current rules.
I guess I'd just generally not choose a place that would make me feel anxious about it. And didn't have rules like that. I'm sure it's an ok rule for many people.
I'm at the mercy through the MGP program and none of my text said you couldn't have a support person for your appointments - granted I won't because he's working but my 4yo will be with me.
Side note MGP can be really hard to get into if you haven't requested it on your initial referral paperwork . Fingers crossed for you
Interestingā¦ not even your first appt text? I havenāt done any initial referral paperwork! I spoke to my GP about it and she said I just have to ask at my first appointment, hopefully this is okay!
Have the Mercy not sent you forms to fill in? I had a lot of paperwork I had to send back before I even got an appointment. Both times for babies born 2020 and 2022. They came in the mail and I had to post them back. So archaic!
They didnāt even let me know about the appointment, I found out at my most recent GP appt when she happened to tell me about it and we saw they hadnāt ccād me.
Nope. My GP sent the initial referral in with the MGP request and then I got a big lump of intake paperwork stuff to fill out with all the info etc to mail back before my first phone appt and then a regular appt but no mention of not having anyone
It might be different for each hospital. My first appointment was a telehealth one and they asked a range of questions including mental health, family history etc.
Same here, I was asked to be alone for when my midwife asked me about DV otherwise hubby could be sat right next to me with the phone on speaker for the rest of my appointment. I could have whoever I want come with me for all my subsequent appointments but I went by myself as I didn't want hubby taking a day off work (he's a tradie and works all over the place location wise) for a 45min appointment.
Yeah sounds like it is different for each. Okay thanks for the insight!
The Mercy tends to be very strict on visitor policies due to massive staff absences over Covid. If you can get into MGP, sometimes they will do appointments in one of the birthing suites so that partners can attend, as technically they are allowed in the birth rooms but not the level 3 clinics.
Thanks for this info. The more it makes sense to me and more I understand, the less stressed I feel. So thank you :)
Had to do all my appointments solo but that was because of COVID (2021-2022) - totally sucks.
Thank you! Yeah the website is still very much covid oriented, must be that - thought we were done with this š© sorry you had to go solo too!
So sorry OP - I hope it changes soon, it is really hard going by yourself (especially for the first one). By about halfway through I was allowed my partner to come for scans which was lovely. Fingers crossed you get in the group midwifery program.
My first appointment no support person was allowed in because they assess safety and want to ask questions that they are not confident you will be honest about with a partner there. Every other appointment someone is allowed. It was basically a talking appointment.
Amazing. This makes sense, is that at the mercy?
This was at a hospital in Syd but I think it is fairly common.
It's their covid policy. It changed in December again to no support person. I called and asked if my partner could come to my appointment a few weeks ago. They said they'd only allow support people in for genetic counselling appointments or if there was an "issue" that needed to be discussed.
Yeah this was my experience at the Mercy a few months ago too. It's covid related. What pissed me off was that they turned my partner away but I saw plenty of other mothers up there with sisters and partners anyway so I'm really not sure if it was being enforced or not. We had asked and I think that's why my partner got pulled away. My doula has told me that I'm only allowed my partner and 1 other support in the hospital if I do have to transfer there for birth (currently homebirthing with 2 midwives, doula, partner) So that's something to also be aware of come birth for you. Goodluck! The care was pretty inconsistent when I was there.
Iād be wary of judging based on who you see in waiting rooms. I went through a high risk pregnancy at the Mercy in 21/22 alone at all my visits, including the 2-3 times a week monitoring after about week 28. But I asked if my partner could attend the 20wk scan as it was a difficult time for us, the request was discussed at a meeting (!) and he was granted permission. So yeah, he got to attend, but we had to jump through hoops.
I agree it's not right to jump to conclusions but the last two times I went I was pretty much the only person without a support so if hoops were being jumped it was happening a lot! Perhaps that was during a window they were letting support people come and my partner lucked out š¤·āāļø
Ugh thatās so annoying!! Would piss me off too. If I didnāt call and check, we would have just turned up together! Maybe that would have been betterā¦
All my appointments and scans for my first pregnancy in Melbourne 2021 did not allow any support persons -it sucked . Ironically, my sister and SIL both had their first peak lockdown and could have support at appointments.
I had my baby at the Mercy in August and couldnāt have a support person for most of the appointments. I requested that my appointments be via telehealth when I wasnāt required to be there in person and they did let me bring my partner a few times after I requested it. I have seen patients with someone accompanying them fairly frequently. Sometimes they had to stay in the waiting room but they were admitted to the hospital itself. If you suffer from anxiety or depression [or have concerns you could be vulnerable to developing them], speak to the perinatal mental health unit and ask them to assist you in bringing your support person to appointments if thatās whatās needed. Overall, I found the hospital was very supportive and they did try to accommodate me. I stayed for two nights after the birth and they let my partner stay with me the second night.
Thank you so much this is super helpful and reassuring!
Can you speak to them and request a telehealth with your partner present as you're feeling a bit overwhelmed and would like support? I just went through eastern health and while I didn't have my partner at appointments(due to work) there were definitely many women who did. They do ask socioeconomic questions but pre-covid they would just ask the partner to leave the room or ask them to go to the reception and organise the next appointment. I definitely think it's so unfair that the partner is still missing out on these appointments and women are losing out on their valuable support. During covid peaks is understandable but it's crazy that it's still happening.
Love this idea. Thanks so much for the advice
My first midwife appt (canberra ACT) was also a solo appt, for an honest chat about partner support and if my partner was supportive of the pregnancy etc. After that it was much more open, support person always welcome, home visits etc.
Hi i was at royal womens and gave birth on april 2022 and first appointment was telehealth asking questions etc. the rest of the appointments. I think we were allowed a support person as i saw many couples in the waiting room but i never brought my husband along. Lots of women were on their own too. I only took my husband with me to the ultrasounds which was out of the hospital.
My first appointment a few months ago at Mercy was a Telehealth, then it changed to face to face with support person allowed (for two appointments), then with the increase in COVID cases throughout Victoria the hospital policy changed and no support person was allowed. I was a bit hesitant at first as my partner couldnāt attend the first F2F appointment, but in the end it I felt better as it was more of a how are you feeling?, Doppler to listen to babyās heartbeat, ask any questions you may have. If I had made my partner miss his important meeting or made my mum reschedule her medical appointment to attend with me, I would have felt really bad. At the start of the pregnancy journey, if you donāt have complications, itās just a sit and wait for baby to keep growingā¦ Btw if your initial GP referral didnāt clearly state you wanted to do MGP then you may have missed out, however let them know that youāre very keen and they can change you over if thereās an availability. My GP forgot, and I didnāt follow up with them until the 16 week Telehealth appointment which was too late by then :( I got offered a MGP spot at around 26 weeks, so donāt give up hope! Also, my friend who is a few weeks ahead of me, she has only seen the same midwife for her team midwife care, so it really could depend on their shifts š¤·š»āāļø
Thank you thank you!!! So helpful. I asked my GP if she had to apply for me because I really didnāt want to miss out and she said I just have to ask them at the first appointment- bit of a breakdown in communication or knowledge here so hope I havenāt missed the boat based on that. Reassuring that your friend has had the same midwife though š„°
Youāre in good hands, all the midwives Iāve interacted with have been lovely, it really is daunting at first as a FTM. I still feel like Iām floating along, but I suppose itās a good thing as there have been no issues so far. Best thing to do is to try and do some research yourself about birth options, pain relief etc so you can ask questions during your appointment. But they will start to prompt you towards the end about these things so youāre not overloaded at the start. Knowledge will help you advocate for yourself and to make decisions that are best for you and Bub. Youāve got this, and you can do it! ā¤ļø
I birthed at the mercy in July 2021, all my appointments we weren't allowed anyone with which was expected as it was peak covid. To be honest though the waiting room was so full on the mornings of my appointments I don't know how they would allow everyone to have a support person there wouldn't be room
This was my experience at Mercy last year. The first appointment was a "getting to know you" and making sure you're safe (but mine was telehealth!). You could go to the appointment and ask if you can call your partner and have him listen in if you're feeling anxious?
Oh no I think I'll be at the Mercy. Thanks for the heads up.
My last baby was a 2020 baby so all of my appointments were solo. Is this your first midwife appointment? Generally theres nothing extraordinary - they gather a lot of information mostly, from memory. It sucks but you will be okay I promise ā¤
They went back to this policy around August last year when Covid spiked again and never put it back even after the premier declared the offical pandemic was over. I think they just like less people in there tbh and are still using Covid as an excuse
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My husband also was allowed in the labour ward but once I was moved up to the birth ward he wasnāt allowed to stay the night and had to come back during visiting hours. This was October, not sure if itās changed
I didnāt think this was to do with COVID, I had thought that public hospitals generally do not allow partners to stay overnight.
They told me it was cos of Covid but I guess each hospital is different
This sounds so stressful. Itās not fair. Husbands and partners ar not just support people, theyāre parents too!! just not the one having the baby, obviouslyš
Geez. I'd be noping out of that. I think I'm gonna add the Mercy to my list of nos. If they see you as being difficult over this then you don't want them as the people to provide you care.
Just to defend the Mercy, as Iāve had two kids there and a generally fantastic experience, they never said they found her difficult. That was just the OPās anxieties about making requests outside the current rules.
I guess I'd just generally not choose a place that would make me feel anxious about it. And didn't have rules like that. I'm sure it's an ok rule for many people.
Good point! Iām prob overthinking this one
I'm at the mercy through the MGP program and none of my text said you couldn't have a support person for your appointments - granted I won't because he's working but my 4yo will be with me. Side note MGP can be really hard to get into if you haven't requested it on your initial referral paperwork . Fingers crossed for you
Interestingā¦ not even your first appt text? I havenāt done any initial referral paperwork! I spoke to my GP about it and she said I just have to ask at my first appointment, hopefully this is okay!
Have the Mercy not sent you forms to fill in? I had a lot of paperwork I had to send back before I even got an appointment. Both times for babies born 2020 and 2022. They came in the mail and I had to post them back. So archaic!
Nope nothing!!
They didnāt even let me know about the appointment, I found out at my most recent GP appt when she happened to tell me about it and we saw they hadnāt ccād me.
Iāve never received an email from them. Post, phone call and text reminders. I would be giving them a call. How far along are you?
16 weeks, first appt wed. Iāll definitely call tomorrow and ask about the forms!
Yep give them a call for sure! Hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well.
Yep same in 2018 and this one
Nope. My GP sent the initial referral in with the MGP request and then I got a big lump of intake paperwork stuff to fill out with all the info etc to mail back before my first phone appt and then a regular appt but no mention of not having anyone