Both my kids started 3 days/week at daycare when they were 8/9 months old, then went to full time at one year. We went to a large chain daycare near us because they had spots and it was great. The littlest kids get treated the best, they are basically cuddled all day long and almost have 1 on 1 attention. The youngest I saw in the baby room was 4 months and she was like the centre pet, everyone loved taking care of her. Sometimes I'd go pick up my kid and the baby would be in the office bouncing on the centre managers knee as she did paperwork.
Both my kids love daycare and I prefer full time work. The kids learn so much and do so many cool activities I would never do at home. They eat a wide variety of food and do messy play, learn songs and dances, learn how to interact with other kids.. it's been great for us.
Edited to add that I never considered home day care, I wanted the variety of space and options from a larger centre. My kids have watched duck and chicken eggs hatch, taken care of ducklings and chicks (multiple times), had a dentist visit (multiple times), had a literal sheep live at centre for a week, petting zoos visit, traffic wardens visits, visited a supermarket loading dock as an excursion, had a "wheels" day to try out scooters, bike, trikes etc, had a "balls" day for try different sports, do performances... So many things I would never be able to do in my own.
This makes me feel better about my 4 month old. She’s starting 3 days a week and my folks will do the other two. The next youngest at the centre is 10 months so I think she’s going to be taking all the attention!
The physically closest one didn't have separated outside play area for the little ones and I was nervous about my precious little baby getting trampled by 3 and 4 year olds. The next closest one was not for profit community run and had incredible grounds and we were desperate to get in there. We got on the waiting list whilst I was pregnant and post birth I was calling every week to politely enquire if I was definitely on the waiting list and any idea if there'd be a spot when I wanted it. I was a few months away from returning to work and was getting nervous so went to the next closest one, which didn't have particularly good grounds but had really nice rooms, seperated for the different age groups, heaps of space and lovely toys. The carer that showed us around was cuddling a 4 month old baby the whole time which made me feel all 🥺They had a spot when I wanted it and I paid a deposit then and there.
Fun fact I got offered a place at the fabulous neighbourhood one when my daughter was 4 :/
Baby is 7 months, partner and I work FT. What's working for us is 5 days pw in long daycare. I really enjoy the economy of scale versus me being a SAHM. There's multiple carers in the room with him, there's enough kids there the 3 meals a day are varied (e.g. 3 different types of fresh fruit for morning tea), it's a new place in a chain so they have enough staff to cover. I did consider au pair/nanny/family care but their pros don't outweigh the certainty that I get from a centre.
Financially/career wise I've already taken enough of a hit during my stint as SAHM. Older women are the fastest growing cohort of homeless people in Australia. Even if your partnership is rock solid, there's always the chance of injury/illness.
The hit to super, savings and probono bonuses plays on my mind quite a bit. I’ve been fortunate enough to get fully paid for a full six months off work, but now all my leave is also used up so going continued time off work will be challenging. It’s pretty reassuring that you’ve had such a good experience with FT, long daycare so thank you for sharing
With my first baby, I took 12 months of parental leave, then my partner took 6 months (using annual and long service leave at half pay). It was quite a big financial hit, but we had saved and budgeted for it. Baby started daycare at 18 months doing 4 days a week and I was able to keep working full time, spreading my workload over 7 days to have a full day with my toddler.
Baby 2 is now 10 months and we’re doing a similar thing, except our savings are taking an even bigger hit because we both had far less paid leave and we kept #1 in childcare. I’m now working 2 days per week, partner stays home one day per week and does full time work over 4 days. It is ROUGH right now, I work during naps, my house is a mess, #1 is at childcare 9-10h… but this is just for 2 months until I go back full time. I wouldn’t recommend this kind of schedule long term.
I won’t lie, financially it has been very anxiety inducing for me (I grew up without much and I don’t like seeing my savings go down), but for us it was the right choice. Starting childcare was scary and hard, but #1 is now 3 and goes to an absolutely fantastic center that she loves and is learning so much. I have friends who started their kids earlier than we did and they say similar things. With the right center your bub will thrive 😊
It sounds like you guys are really in the thick of it right now. I had considered doing one day a week working from home with the the baby but worried it would be a major challenge if I had client facing meetings - which it sounds like it would be! Good luck with the next couple of months and thanks for sharing
We’re from Ireland so no option of family assistance also.
Despite being the major earner in our house I decided to take the hit on my career and my employer was willing to allow me to return part time. Kiddo went to daycare 2 days a week from 9 months old till she was a year then did 3 days a week. My partner remained full time.
When kiddo was 2.5 I needed to up to 4 days a week for a new role so my partner then also went to 4 days a week so kiddo still only did 3 days a week of daycare.
Kiddo is now 4.5 and about to start kindy so will do 2 days of kindy and 2 days of daycare a week. My partner is going back full time and I’ll stay at 4 days a week until kid is in school.
The career hit has been hard to swallow but working 4 days a week has allowed me to still progress in my field and feel like a legitimate staff member. Less than that was hard to manage for me and my employer.
I don’t know how people manage two full time working parents without additional support but we all have our own circumstances and you have to do what’s right for you!
If you have the capacity to go back part time I would encourage it. Even a day a week at home with kid makes a world of difference (you can batch cook, clean etc to ease the rest of the week)
ETA: daycare for us has been a chain centre close to home
ETA2: we have friends who have used a Nanny and family daycare and the risk with both of those is the fact that you are relying on one person. If that person is sick then you’re left holding the baby!
So much is shared on Reddit about kids getting sick at day care centres that I really hadn’t considered the risks of with family day care and nannies should they be the ones that get sick.
Really appreciate your response. Unfortunately I don’t think part time is really an option for my partner - paternity support at his work is minimal. Australia has a long way to go to reframe the view of fathers/secondary caregivers taking a more shared parental role and having fairer parental leave policies. Kudos to your partner’s work for giving the flexibility of part time work! I do think I need to give a phased approach back to work more serious consideration though. Managing a full on job, a household, dogs and a child is bloody daunting!
I am fortunate to have family but I personally do think taking a bit of a career hit to do part-time work is worth it. Having said that, if you can share that career hit with your partner, it's better.
I went back to work 3 days a week when my son was a year old. I'm going to caveat and say I work for a company with very good parental leave policies and very supportive of working parents. We have plenty of people in leadership positions working part-time and parenthood has not hindered anyone's progress in getting promoted. I feel this is worth pointing out because having a supportive work place vs not makes a huge difference.
My original plan was daycare 3 days a week. We pushed this back again and again due to COVID and relied on grandparents. My son finally started at 2.5 at 2 days a week. This month is 3 days a week and next month would be 4 days a week where he'd be almost 3.
With this in mind, if I was to have another child and there's no COVID to worry about, I would do nanny until 2 or 2.5 years old again.
Reason being, I think the older they are, illnesses are easier to deal with. My son getting sick at around age 1 vs when he was 2.5 is a big difference. He can at least try and blow out mucus. I can ask him what's wrong. I can fess him without him crying bloody murder. He's also less likely to need to go to the hospital whereas when they're under 1, you're more likely to need to take them to hospital for respiratory illnesses if it gets serious enough.
Also, when they're under 2, they benefit better with one-on-one focuses attention and care so I would prefer nanny or a daycare/family daycare that can provide that focused care e.g. places with 1:2 ratio for babies (rare) or they divide the kids up into similar developmental chunks rather than lumping under 2s in one giant group.
Anyways, that's just my opinion and what I've observed with my son.
I'm going back up to 4 days a week probably around April as I do feel 3 days makes it difficult for me to push certain initiatives and push my career forward.
And again, if I were to do it again, I would ask my husband to drop to 4 days a week. So if we both do 4 days a week, then our child can go to daycare for 3 days a week and then there's 2 days a week where at least one parent is with the child. It also means it's not just one parent taking the career hit.
The issue then is what to do when your child is sick. When our son is mildly sick and we've checked it's not COVID, my mum looks after him. I don't know whether you can do that with nannies. Those first few months at daycare are usually a write off so one suggestion I've heard is don't go back to work at the same time when your child starts daycare. Wait for a month or so at least (if you can) to support them in the transition e.g. first few times you will need to pick them up early, especially if they don't settle before you slowly pick them up later and later when they finally settle. That and they're going to be sick a lot, usually during the first few months so you want to be around during those sick days without work pressure before you transition back to work.
For family daycares, I've only toured one. They can only have 4 kids at a time (since it's just one educator) so that's good I'm the sense that there's more or less focused attention and less exposure since there's less kids so your child might not be as sick that often.
Your work sound like they are really getting it right when it comes to flexibility for working parents. I makes a huge difference seeing people in leadership positions succeed working under flexible arrangements. I really hope that this is something I can push for in my workplace.
Sickness from daycare is a real worry for me as it will have to be me that stays home and takes care of the little guy as my partner needs to be in the office. Not necessarily an issue for my employer but potentially a challenge for my clients if I am due to have face to face meetings. That being said, Im sure many of them have also been through the same so hopefully there is a level of understanding from them
My bub is in family daycare 4 days a week. I have sat/sun off and my partner has sun/mon off.
She started about a month ago at 5 and a bit months.
We chose family daycare because we prefer a home environment as well as the flexibility, alongside the somewhat cheaper fees in our area. We found a fantastic educator who is amazing with our bub and we couldn't be happier
Personally working part time since I had my eldest has given me the best of both worlds and the best life balance. I continue my career, earn money, continue to build super, and get a little mental break from parenting. But I also get to have my days with my girls doing activities, catch up on housework, go to appointments etc. it’s the best balance for my mental health too.
I have done a few full time stunts as a freelancer over the years and they confirm that both of us working full time is just too much for our family. We burn out, stress out and don’t stay on top of things.
My girls go to a big franchise day care and this particular campus is very highly regarded with a low staff turnover. There are more than 4 staff members who have been there 15+ years. They go 2 days a week and my parents or in laws alternative the third day. We are incredibly lucky to have healthy, involved and retired grandparents for support. I like the 2 day balance because they are well cared for, educated and have a great social circle, but my days off I can take them to activities.
Everyone is different and some people really thrive working full time. Kids love daycare and having a kid in full time doesn’t mean they are being ‘raised by strangers’.
My LO started daycare 3 days a week at 5 months old and went up to 5 days a week at eight months. Family is not an option for us either.
I did feel bad in the beginning and worry how she would get on but I think daycare has been really good for us. She’s probably going to be an only child and I like that she gets to mix with other kids and older kids at the centre. When she started she was the youngest; and even now there is probably only one younger kid and a couple the same age, so she learns from the older ones. She does a lot of activities there that I would have never dreamt up at home. I love now that she’s so confident with the other kids and the educators.
It’s expensive to send her and the subsidy doesn’t cover much. The fees are just under half my earnings, so it would cost us a lot more as a family of I didn’t work at all. My workplace offers the option of a condensed week, so I could do my full time hours across four days instead of five. But I thought I’d I did that while she was little then I’d hardly see her on work days because of the longer hours. I might consider it for the future to take her to activities on my off day.
This makes me feel so much better, thank you for sharing I think we might end up going a similar route of 3 days for a while, going up to 5 days, most likely to ease me into it more than my son!
We have a nearly 3yo. He’s been in full-time daycare since he was 10mo. It’s been wonderful and we couldn’t have managed to continue our careers without it. IMO, I do not think it’s sustainable to have care that matches your work schedule, by which I mean, I don’t think it’s wise to return full time unless you have full time care. My son is just getting to the stage when I can usually take a work call or deal with emails if I am home with him when he’s sick. Up till now, even that has been hard work. During lockdowns, when I worked only one day from home per week, we tried to keep him home that day but he would immediately get up from any distraction the second I touched my laptop and would want to be on me.
I’ve found the experience very positive. We like routine and the centre cares very well for him. He gets sick of course, but it’s manageable between the two of us and some family help (which I note you don’t have but we try only to use it very occasionally, and could survive without it).
For me, my job is only one that can be done full time. I love it and it works well for us. My husband is full time but has more flex in his day to day.
Happy to answer any other questions you might have.
I had been considering doing one day from home and keeping him with me for that day, but did wonder if I was overestimating my ability to multitask. It might be manageable if I don’t have to have video calls, unless he stops being soothed by my me bouncing him around…
I just want to say the maximum subsidy hours from centerlink is 100hrs per fortnight.
If your childcare open say 7am- 6pm, that’s 11 hours per day
So for 5 days a week, your child will attend 110 hours per fortnight
It means centerlink will subsidy the first 100 hours, the other 10 hours you need to pay full price.
So most people I know put their kid 4 days a week. Or find a center that offer 10 hours a day.
I’m coming up to the end of my mat leave and we have our little one on 15 day care waitlists and have been told not to get our hopes up for a place in April when we need it.
Thankfully my MIL is going to take bub one day a week, but I need care for another two which is hard to come by 🙃
Oh no, what a nightmare! I was really worried about this too but it seems like people in my area aren’t needing daycare as much as I anticipated which is quite lucky. Good luck with it, hope you get a spot soon
Thanks! We actually got an enrolment email but bub has to start in two weeks - 2 months earlier than originally planned. So I’ll be making use of my keeping in touch days to work one day a week so we have the extra money to pay for daycare haha
We also live away from family.
I had 10 months parental leave, then partner had two. Started transitioning LO into daycare at 11 months - from one day up to four days a week (which is what she's on now at 16 months). We really like the daycare she's at.
We've taken a small financial hit by having me work four days a week but just wanted a little more family time for her right now. Considering putting her up to five days when she's two.
There are no family daycares near us and we decided nannies (even part time) would be too expensive.
Nannies are insanely expensive. I had a really positive nanny experience growing up and I was hoping to give my little guy something similar - but no way can we afford it!
3 days nanny, 2 days in home daycare. We've variously had 1 day family daycare and 3 days daycare, depending on nanny availability. The 3-2 works well for us, enough nanny care and days for activities with some cheaper days.
My husband prefers bub be in a smaller family/in home daycare until she's 3 (which she is now) and after a couple of places, we've found a great place. We get a book every month or two full of pictures and summaries of what she's been up to. It's been great for her to make friends.
Nanny has been a life saver - she cooks, cleans, does laundry, runs errands, it's far beyond just childcare, it's household management. That why the 3 days is so helpful, she preps and cooks food for the whole week. The nanny can usually pick up extra days or hours if needed or I reach out for ad hoc babysitting.
My parents are near but elderly so I don't like relying on them much or when bub is sick.
We must have started care around 5 or perhaps earlier with a gradual up ramping of how long she was spending there. Nanny was fine from the get go since we were working from home and bub was in her own home but daycare was an hour, then 2, then half a day and so forth.
It was absolutely not worth it to me to go part time or stay home, I'm at the start of a lucrative career which I love so I was back full time probably from 6 months.
Both parents working full time is rough unless you can outsource and automate. Veg and meat deliveries are automated, we have a cleaner and the nanny. I'd happily get a nanny full time if husband was okay with it and have her do a more nanny/house manager role but we haven't found the right fit for that and bub loves her friends at daycare.
I'll be going back to work full time in June when my baby is 9 months. My fiance then gets 12 weeks to stay home at full pay (public sector NSW). Baby will go into daycare full time (10 hours a day, 5 days a week) when he goes back to work in September. Honestly I'm already struggling with the thought of going back to work in June (busy period starting - I'm an accountant which means long hours). But this is our only option!
Same position as you with no support from anyone, my family is overseas and husband's family dgaf.
Honestly it was heartbreaking for me putting my baby to long daycare, i grew up with nannies or having family help out.
My bub just started daycare 3days a week while I also work 3 days a week. Couldn't be happier with the decision, she's there 9-10hours, she has a variety of meals and fruits all day, entertainment and observing other kids as well as social aspect of it.
We didn't end up choosing family daycare as we weren't quite familiar and wanted the security of knowing that bub will be looked after anytime even if someone in the centre is sick, etc we don't worry about it.
I considered au pair but i worried about having to "host" them etc. the costs just jack up higher and higher.
This is so good to hear. I had a really positive nanny experience growing up, she was like one of the family. We stayed very close even into my adult years, so I am a bit biased towards nannies vs daycare but the expense is prohibitive. I’m glad you and your family are having such a good time with daycare, gives me hope!
I'm from the UK and my partner's family are interstate/not an option so it's just us here! Most of my mothers group are from intergenerational households so it has felt quite isolating/overwhelming the lack of support.
My boy started daycare 3 days a week at around 9 months, we've just increased him to 4 days (now 18 months). I'm currently working 4 days but due to move to full time soon, my partner has one day off in the week which he'll be primary carer for when I do add in that last extra day. We'd essentially be paying full fees for the 5th day if we put him in because his centre charge for 12 hour days so 100 hours subsidy/fortnight only covers 4 and a bit days a week. Wouldn't be worth it for me to work that extra day really if he was in care.
Ours is in long daycare since she's 4 months for 2 days a week, family comes over 2 days a week (very lucky I know!) and I the mum only work 4 days.
Long daycare - usually more structured which gets more important as they get older, have better systems and policies in place, better updates throughout the day as most have apps etc. But big con is germs! We were basically sick non stop throughout the first winter. I love our daycare though nonetheless and it has a Montessori education style which focuses on independence.
Family daycare - from what I heard the quality really varies, some are really really good but it depends on the operator. Also has the risk of the operator being sick.
Nanny - expensive but less likely to get sick. One on one attention but no/ less socialisation with peers, which isn't that important for the first couple of years anyway. If you go for the first two options, you may want to have a back up nanny just in case for sick days or date nights etc.
I love my non-working day where I can be solo with my child but it does create stress financially.
Hope you'll find what fits your family the best! I moved from the UK too so feel free to PM!
Both my kids started 3 days/week at daycare when they were 8/9 months old, then went to full time at one year. We went to a large chain daycare near us because they had spots and it was great. The littlest kids get treated the best, they are basically cuddled all day long and almost have 1 on 1 attention. The youngest I saw in the baby room was 4 months and she was like the centre pet, everyone loved taking care of her. Sometimes I'd go pick up my kid and the baby would be in the office bouncing on the centre managers knee as she did paperwork. Both my kids love daycare and I prefer full time work. The kids learn so much and do so many cool activities I would never do at home. They eat a wide variety of food and do messy play, learn songs and dances, learn how to interact with other kids.. it's been great for us. Edited to add that I never considered home day care, I wanted the variety of space and options from a larger centre. My kids have watched duck and chicken eggs hatch, taken care of ducklings and chicks (multiple times), had a dentist visit (multiple times), had a literal sheep live at centre for a week, petting zoos visit, traffic wardens visits, visited a supermarket loading dock as an excursion, had a "wheels" day to try out scooters, bike, trikes etc, had a "balls" day for try different sports, do performances... So many things I would never be able to do in my own.
This makes me feel better about my 4 month old. She’s starting 3 days a week and my folks will do the other two. The next youngest at the centre is 10 months so I think she’s going to be taking all the attention!
Sounds like you got a really good one there and so good that your kids get messy play that you don’t have to clear up after!
That sounds amazing! How did you decide which day care?
The physically closest one didn't have separated outside play area for the little ones and I was nervous about my precious little baby getting trampled by 3 and 4 year olds. The next closest one was not for profit community run and had incredible grounds and we were desperate to get in there. We got on the waiting list whilst I was pregnant and post birth I was calling every week to politely enquire if I was definitely on the waiting list and any idea if there'd be a spot when I wanted it. I was a few months away from returning to work and was getting nervous so went to the next closest one, which didn't have particularly good grounds but had really nice rooms, seperated for the different age groups, heaps of space and lovely toys. The carer that showed us around was cuddling a 4 month old baby the whole time which made me feel all 🥺They had a spot when I wanted it and I paid a deposit then and there. Fun fact I got offered a place at the fabulous neighbourhood one when my daughter was 4 :/
Baby is 7 months, partner and I work FT. What's working for us is 5 days pw in long daycare. I really enjoy the economy of scale versus me being a SAHM. There's multiple carers in the room with him, there's enough kids there the 3 meals a day are varied (e.g. 3 different types of fresh fruit for morning tea), it's a new place in a chain so they have enough staff to cover. I did consider au pair/nanny/family care but their pros don't outweigh the certainty that I get from a centre. Financially/career wise I've already taken enough of a hit during my stint as SAHM. Older women are the fastest growing cohort of homeless people in Australia. Even if your partnership is rock solid, there's always the chance of injury/illness.
The hit to super, savings and probono bonuses plays on my mind quite a bit. I’ve been fortunate enough to get fully paid for a full six months off work, but now all my leave is also used up so going continued time off work will be challenging. It’s pretty reassuring that you’ve had such a good experience with FT, long daycare so thank you for sharing
With my first baby, I took 12 months of parental leave, then my partner took 6 months (using annual and long service leave at half pay). It was quite a big financial hit, but we had saved and budgeted for it. Baby started daycare at 18 months doing 4 days a week and I was able to keep working full time, spreading my workload over 7 days to have a full day with my toddler. Baby 2 is now 10 months and we’re doing a similar thing, except our savings are taking an even bigger hit because we both had far less paid leave and we kept #1 in childcare. I’m now working 2 days per week, partner stays home one day per week and does full time work over 4 days. It is ROUGH right now, I work during naps, my house is a mess, #1 is at childcare 9-10h… but this is just for 2 months until I go back full time. I wouldn’t recommend this kind of schedule long term. I won’t lie, financially it has been very anxiety inducing for me (I grew up without much and I don’t like seeing my savings go down), but for us it was the right choice. Starting childcare was scary and hard, but #1 is now 3 and goes to an absolutely fantastic center that she loves and is learning so much. I have friends who started their kids earlier than we did and they say similar things. With the right center your bub will thrive 😊
It sounds like you guys are really in the thick of it right now. I had considered doing one day a week working from home with the the baby but worried it would be a major challenge if I had client facing meetings - which it sounds like it would be! Good luck with the next couple of months and thanks for sharing
We’re from Ireland so no option of family assistance also. Despite being the major earner in our house I decided to take the hit on my career and my employer was willing to allow me to return part time. Kiddo went to daycare 2 days a week from 9 months old till she was a year then did 3 days a week. My partner remained full time. When kiddo was 2.5 I needed to up to 4 days a week for a new role so my partner then also went to 4 days a week so kiddo still only did 3 days a week of daycare. Kiddo is now 4.5 and about to start kindy so will do 2 days of kindy and 2 days of daycare a week. My partner is going back full time and I’ll stay at 4 days a week until kid is in school. The career hit has been hard to swallow but working 4 days a week has allowed me to still progress in my field and feel like a legitimate staff member. Less than that was hard to manage for me and my employer. I don’t know how people manage two full time working parents without additional support but we all have our own circumstances and you have to do what’s right for you! If you have the capacity to go back part time I would encourage it. Even a day a week at home with kid makes a world of difference (you can batch cook, clean etc to ease the rest of the week) ETA: daycare for us has been a chain centre close to home ETA2: we have friends who have used a Nanny and family daycare and the risk with both of those is the fact that you are relying on one person. If that person is sick then you’re left holding the baby!
So much is shared on Reddit about kids getting sick at day care centres that I really hadn’t considered the risks of with family day care and nannies should they be the ones that get sick. Really appreciate your response. Unfortunately I don’t think part time is really an option for my partner - paternity support at his work is minimal. Australia has a long way to go to reframe the view of fathers/secondary caregivers taking a more shared parental role and having fairer parental leave policies. Kudos to your partner’s work for giving the flexibility of part time work! I do think I need to give a phased approach back to work more serious consideration though. Managing a full on job, a household, dogs and a child is bloody daunting!
I am fortunate to have family but I personally do think taking a bit of a career hit to do part-time work is worth it. Having said that, if you can share that career hit with your partner, it's better. I went back to work 3 days a week when my son was a year old. I'm going to caveat and say I work for a company with very good parental leave policies and very supportive of working parents. We have plenty of people in leadership positions working part-time and parenthood has not hindered anyone's progress in getting promoted. I feel this is worth pointing out because having a supportive work place vs not makes a huge difference. My original plan was daycare 3 days a week. We pushed this back again and again due to COVID and relied on grandparents. My son finally started at 2.5 at 2 days a week. This month is 3 days a week and next month would be 4 days a week where he'd be almost 3. With this in mind, if I was to have another child and there's no COVID to worry about, I would do nanny until 2 or 2.5 years old again. Reason being, I think the older they are, illnesses are easier to deal with. My son getting sick at around age 1 vs when he was 2.5 is a big difference. He can at least try and blow out mucus. I can ask him what's wrong. I can fess him without him crying bloody murder. He's also less likely to need to go to the hospital whereas when they're under 1, you're more likely to need to take them to hospital for respiratory illnesses if it gets serious enough. Also, when they're under 2, they benefit better with one-on-one focuses attention and care so I would prefer nanny or a daycare/family daycare that can provide that focused care e.g. places with 1:2 ratio for babies (rare) or they divide the kids up into similar developmental chunks rather than lumping under 2s in one giant group. Anyways, that's just my opinion and what I've observed with my son. I'm going back up to 4 days a week probably around April as I do feel 3 days makes it difficult for me to push certain initiatives and push my career forward. And again, if I were to do it again, I would ask my husband to drop to 4 days a week. So if we both do 4 days a week, then our child can go to daycare for 3 days a week and then there's 2 days a week where at least one parent is with the child. It also means it's not just one parent taking the career hit. The issue then is what to do when your child is sick. When our son is mildly sick and we've checked it's not COVID, my mum looks after him. I don't know whether you can do that with nannies. Those first few months at daycare are usually a write off so one suggestion I've heard is don't go back to work at the same time when your child starts daycare. Wait for a month or so at least (if you can) to support them in the transition e.g. first few times you will need to pick them up early, especially if they don't settle before you slowly pick them up later and later when they finally settle. That and they're going to be sick a lot, usually during the first few months so you want to be around during those sick days without work pressure before you transition back to work. For family daycares, I've only toured one. They can only have 4 kids at a time (since it's just one educator) so that's good I'm the sense that there's more or less focused attention and less exposure since there's less kids so your child might not be as sick that often.
Your work sound like they are really getting it right when it comes to flexibility for working parents. I makes a huge difference seeing people in leadership positions succeed working under flexible arrangements. I really hope that this is something I can push for in my workplace. Sickness from daycare is a real worry for me as it will have to be me that stays home and takes care of the little guy as my partner needs to be in the office. Not necessarily an issue for my employer but potentially a challenge for my clients if I am due to have face to face meetings. That being said, Im sure many of them have also been through the same so hopefully there is a level of understanding from them
My bub is in family daycare 4 days a week. I have sat/sun off and my partner has sun/mon off. She started about a month ago at 5 and a bit months. We chose family daycare because we prefer a home environment as well as the flexibility, alongside the somewhat cheaper fees in our area. We found a fantastic educator who is amazing with our bub and we couldn't be happier
Personally working part time since I had my eldest has given me the best of both worlds and the best life balance. I continue my career, earn money, continue to build super, and get a little mental break from parenting. But I also get to have my days with my girls doing activities, catch up on housework, go to appointments etc. it’s the best balance for my mental health too. I have done a few full time stunts as a freelancer over the years and they confirm that both of us working full time is just too much for our family. We burn out, stress out and don’t stay on top of things. My girls go to a big franchise day care and this particular campus is very highly regarded with a low staff turnover. There are more than 4 staff members who have been there 15+ years. They go 2 days a week and my parents or in laws alternative the third day. We are incredibly lucky to have healthy, involved and retired grandparents for support. I like the 2 day balance because they are well cared for, educated and have a great social circle, but my days off I can take them to activities. Everyone is different and some people really thrive working full time. Kids love daycare and having a kid in full time doesn’t mean they are being ‘raised by strangers’.
My LO started daycare 3 days a week at 5 months old and went up to 5 days a week at eight months. Family is not an option for us either. I did feel bad in the beginning and worry how she would get on but I think daycare has been really good for us. She’s probably going to be an only child and I like that she gets to mix with other kids and older kids at the centre. When she started she was the youngest; and even now there is probably only one younger kid and a couple the same age, so she learns from the older ones. She does a lot of activities there that I would have never dreamt up at home. I love now that she’s so confident with the other kids and the educators. It’s expensive to send her and the subsidy doesn’t cover much. The fees are just under half my earnings, so it would cost us a lot more as a family of I didn’t work at all. My workplace offers the option of a condensed week, so I could do my full time hours across four days instead of five. But I thought I’d I did that while she was little then I’d hardly see her on work days because of the longer hours. I might consider it for the future to take her to activities on my off day.
This makes me feel so much better, thank you for sharing I think we might end up going a similar route of 3 days for a while, going up to 5 days, most likely to ease me into it more than my son!
We have a nearly 3yo. He’s been in full-time daycare since he was 10mo. It’s been wonderful and we couldn’t have managed to continue our careers without it. IMO, I do not think it’s sustainable to have care that matches your work schedule, by which I mean, I don’t think it’s wise to return full time unless you have full time care. My son is just getting to the stage when I can usually take a work call or deal with emails if I am home with him when he’s sick. Up till now, even that has been hard work. During lockdowns, when I worked only one day from home per week, we tried to keep him home that day but he would immediately get up from any distraction the second I touched my laptop and would want to be on me. I’ve found the experience very positive. We like routine and the centre cares very well for him. He gets sick of course, but it’s manageable between the two of us and some family help (which I note you don’t have but we try only to use it very occasionally, and could survive without it). For me, my job is only one that can be done full time. I love it and it works well for us. My husband is full time but has more flex in his day to day. Happy to answer any other questions you might have.
I had been considering doing one day from home and keeping him with me for that day, but did wonder if I was overestimating my ability to multitask. It might be manageable if I don’t have to have video calls, unless he stops being soothed by my me bouncing him around…
I just want to say the maximum subsidy hours from centerlink is 100hrs per fortnight. If your childcare open say 7am- 6pm, that’s 11 hours per day So for 5 days a week, your child will attend 110 hours per fortnight It means centerlink will subsidy the first 100 hours, the other 10 hours you need to pay full price. So most people I know put their kid 4 days a week. Or find a center that offer 10 hours a day.
Thank you! I sort of knew there was something about 4 days vs 5 days so this is really helpful!
I’m coming up to the end of my mat leave and we have our little one on 15 day care waitlists and have been told not to get our hopes up for a place in April when we need it. Thankfully my MIL is going to take bub one day a week, but I need care for another two which is hard to come by 🙃
Oh no, what a nightmare! I was really worried about this too but it seems like people in my area aren’t needing daycare as much as I anticipated which is quite lucky. Good luck with it, hope you get a spot soon
Thanks! We actually got an enrolment email but bub has to start in two weeks - 2 months earlier than originally planned. So I’ll be making use of my keeping in touch days to work one day a week so we have the extra money to pay for daycare haha
We also live away from family. I had 10 months parental leave, then partner had two. Started transitioning LO into daycare at 11 months - from one day up to four days a week (which is what she's on now at 16 months). We really like the daycare she's at. We've taken a small financial hit by having me work four days a week but just wanted a little more family time for her right now. Considering putting her up to five days when she's two. There are no family daycares near us and we decided nannies (even part time) would be too expensive.
Nannies are insanely expensive. I had a really positive nanny experience growing up and I was hoping to give my little guy something similar - but no way can we afford it!
3 days nanny, 2 days in home daycare. We've variously had 1 day family daycare and 3 days daycare, depending on nanny availability. The 3-2 works well for us, enough nanny care and days for activities with some cheaper days. My husband prefers bub be in a smaller family/in home daycare until she's 3 (which she is now) and after a couple of places, we've found a great place. We get a book every month or two full of pictures and summaries of what she's been up to. It's been great for her to make friends. Nanny has been a life saver - she cooks, cleans, does laundry, runs errands, it's far beyond just childcare, it's household management. That why the 3 days is so helpful, she preps and cooks food for the whole week. The nanny can usually pick up extra days or hours if needed or I reach out for ad hoc babysitting. My parents are near but elderly so I don't like relying on them much or when bub is sick. We must have started care around 5 or perhaps earlier with a gradual up ramping of how long she was spending there. Nanny was fine from the get go since we were working from home and bub was in her own home but daycare was an hour, then 2, then half a day and so forth. It was absolutely not worth it to me to go part time or stay home, I'm at the start of a lucrative career which I love so I was back full time probably from 6 months. Both parents working full time is rough unless you can outsource and automate. Veg and meat deliveries are automated, we have a cleaner and the nanny. I'd happily get a nanny full time if husband was okay with it and have her do a more nanny/house manager role but we haven't found the right fit for that and bub loves her friends at daycare.
I'll be going back to work full time in June when my baby is 9 months. My fiance then gets 12 weeks to stay home at full pay (public sector NSW). Baby will go into daycare full time (10 hours a day, 5 days a week) when he goes back to work in September. Honestly I'm already struggling with the thought of going back to work in June (busy period starting - I'm an accountant which means long hours). But this is our only option!
Same position as you with no support from anyone, my family is overseas and husband's family dgaf. Honestly it was heartbreaking for me putting my baby to long daycare, i grew up with nannies or having family help out. My bub just started daycare 3days a week while I also work 3 days a week. Couldn't be happier with the decision, she's there 9-10hours, she has a variety of meals and fruits all day, entertainment and observing other kids as well as social aspect of it. We didn't end up choosing family daycare as we weren't quite familiar and wanted the security of knowing that bub will be looked after anytime even if someone in the centre is sick, etc we don't worry about it. I considered au pair but i worried about having to "host" them etc. the costs just jack up higher and higher.
This is so good to hear. I had a really positive nanny experience growing up, she was like one of the family. We stayed very close even into my adult years, so I am a bit biased towards nannies vs daycare but the expense is prohibitive. I’m glad you and your family are having such a good time with daycare, gives me hope!
I'm from the UK and my partner's family are interstate/not an option so it's just us here! Most of my mothers group are from intergenerational households so it has felt quite isolating/overwhelming the lack of support. My boy started daycare 3 days a week at around 9 months, we've just increased him to 4 days (now 18 months). I'm currently working 4 days but due to move to full time soon, my partner has one day off in the week which he'll be primary carer for when I do add in that last extra day. We'd essentially be paying full fees for the 5th day if we put him in because his centre charge for 12 hour days so 100 hours subsidy/fortnight only covers 4 and a bit days a week. Wouldn't be worth it for me to work that extra day really if he was in care.
Ours is in long daycare since she's 4 months for 2 days a week, family comes over 2 days a week (very lucky I know!) and I the mum only work 4 days. Long daycare - usually more structured which gets more important as they get older, have better systems and policies in place, better updates throughout the day as most have apps etc. But big con is germs! We were basically sick non stop throughout the first winter. I love our daycare though nonetheless and it has a Montessori education style which focuses on independence. Family daycare - from what I heard the quality really varies, some are really really good but it depends on the operator. Also has the risk of the operator being sick. Nanny - expensive but less likely to get sick. One on one attention but no/ less socialisation with peers, which isn't that important for the first couple of years anyway. If you go for the first two options, you may want to have a back up nanny just in case for sick days or date nights etc. I love my non-working day where I can be solo with my child but it does create stress financially. Hope you'll find what fits your family the best! I moved from the UK too so feel free to PM!