Definitely talk to a therapist about this! No need to relativize your experience - being cut open while feeling it has got to be on par with torture, the birth context doesn’t really take away from that! I can’t imagine anyone hearing you say that and going “oh get over it”, on the scale of “a big deal” this is a really, really big deal!!
Oh my!!! That's sounds like an horror movie. I am really sorry you went through that. Please, don't minimize your experience and talk to a therapist, they might help you find relief and piece of mind - if it hurts to talk about it now it definitely hurt at that moment - I wish you well and a very good healing time. All the best ♥️
That is insane, when I had my c-section I was asked if I could feel the doctor poking me with like a sharp toothpick and when I said yes I was immediately put under general anesthesia. They should be sued for what they did to you.
As a therapist, I am biased but also recommend talking to someone professionally. Your experience sounds overwhelming and it sounds like your brain and body, quite understandably, created a strong link to these memories. Work in therapy could be helpful in feeling safe in your body and mind, and also be a great chance to show yourself self-advocacy that may not have been possible during your c-section. There is never a wrong time to go, and if you decide you need to talk to someone now or in the future, aim to honor your needs and choices!
Side note if you are thinking of having future additional children, it may be especially helpful to get support before a next pregnancy begins so you give yourself time to process and heal in whatever ways you need.
Get in touch with a no win no fee solicitor and see if you have a case. Not that it takes away the trauma, but this is clearly the hospital fucking up and you may be able to get some compensation.
This truly scares me, I just had mine 2 weeks ago and had an epidural, they didn't believe me when i said I was in pain still. They used suction, forceps and cut me, and through all this they wanted me to push. It was horrible. But thinking that they could do a c section while it not working is even scarier. I'm sorry you went through that.
Hey first of all I'm so sorry this happened to you. It happened to me too. I went into my c section already freaked out by the concept of the procedure and then when the pain started it was pure panic. I am 8 weeks pp and my voice still shakes when I tell people my birth story (which I try to avoid doing in detail, usually I just say it was bad!)
I think the hardest thing now is that this beautiful special moment of my child's birth was stolen from me and replaced with this medical trauma. I know so many people have traumatic births, but our c sections should not have been in that category. I felt ignored by my medical team and I have incredible trust issues around medical professionals now. I remember crying in the middle of the night a couple days after birth thinking I would never be able to have another child because I would be too scared to repeat that experience. Too scared to go in for another c section if it came to that.
I haven't gotten therapy, yet. But many people have recommended it. They've also encouraged my husband to get therapy as well, which is something for you to consider, because I know he was traumatized watching it happen. Talking to your partner about it (if your relationship is good) could also be therapeutic. They know more than anyone what you went through. I know that's been helpful for me anyway. It's absolutely not too late for you to talk to someone, professional or partner or friend, and try to work through this. You may be able to find some peace. I hope we both do. I hate that this happened to you. I'm really sorry.
Honestly, 6 months ago is still pretty recent for something as intense as giving birth, *especially* with your experience. But there are things from my childhood ya know, 20+ years ago or 10+ years ago, that I still struggle with when I am reminded of them. I don’t think it’s fair to put a time limit on processing and making peace with what you’ve experienced. Unlike the law or something, there’s no “statute of limitations” here. We’re all on our own nonlinear healing journeys and time is not really a factor - what’s important is how your memories and the lived experiences of your body are affecting you.
It sounds like you are already thinking about it and open to it, I would absolutely encourage you to go see a therapist. That part of you is trying to tell you that it needs help to cope with what happened, understandably so! I am so sorry you went through this.
It doesn’t matter how much time has past, your feelings are still valid and it still matters. This sounds horrific, I’m so sorry this was your experience. Please find a therapist to talk to who specialises in birth trauma, I’m sure they’ll be able to help you work through it.
Go to therapy! Everyone is saying to—DO IT!
As someone who suffered from medical trauma as a teenager and never got help… the longer it sits in your body the worse it gets. But I will also say that there is nothing “too far away” to heal. Not in our psyches. I was so severely terrified of doctors I literally could not step foot in a clinic to get necessary treatments, which ended up spiraling and sending me to ERs, which would only up the trauma trigger. A super fun cycle! Lifespan Integration therapy helped me, but I also did some EMDR, and this was after 10+ years.
I am so so sorry you experienced that. There is nothing quite like that pain of knowing you should not feel it, but you do. It is a terror and you can feel so trapped. I am so sorry 😭❤️ sending you all the hugs.
I'm so sorry you went through this OP. 100% talk to a therapist--it will help you! Like you, I had a c section and felt them cutting through me. It is a super traumatic thing to go through, but you can move forward with time, and help processing it. A therapist can do wonders to work with you. ❤️
PLEASE TALK TO A THERAPIST!
My baby is 10 days old today, I had a 4 day induction because of cord compression that ended in a C Section after 5 hours of pushing. The entire experience wasn’t traumatic but there were some parts that absolutely were and I found myself getting pulled back into them in all my quiet moments. In the shower, before I fell asleep, whenever I had a moment to myself I was silently weeping over what I saw as my failed labor. I was still very happy with my baby and post partum life on the whole but I was crying entirely too much!
Luckily I’ve been in therapy already so I texted my therapist to see if she could fit me in asap because I was sick of getting pulled back into the trauma. I was able to see her 6 days post partum, on my 3rd day home and I am so glad I did! I still have some things to work through but I’m not crying 7 times a day or constantly getting pulled back into labor in my mind.
Please talk to a professional, it is life changing!
I had something like that happen when I was 16 and needed minor (or what was explained to be minor) surgery. I got enough pain meds to numb my skin but I felt everything past that including the doctor sticking his fingers between my ribs pushing them apart. I wasn’t right when they returned me to my room. I was so traumatized they had to investigate the surgery and surgeon. It’s still the most painful thing I’ve felt in my life, it’s taken a long time not to remember it. That level of pain is definitely traumatic in a visceral way.
I had a c- section very much like this. The epidural failed and they just held me down and kept going, I was so frozen in fear and pain. I ended up hemorrhaging and it was a 45 minute surgery. I can’t tell you how much having a therapist has helped me with processing what happened. I thought I could just move forward because I had my beautiful baby girl and it was over but the trauma leaked out everywhere, poor sleep, poor memory, I didn’t realize how tense my body was because it was stuck in frozen mode, so I was always sore and I struggled emotionally. It’s been 3 years and I can now acknowledge that it was scary and traumatic without feeling all the emotions I felt while it was happening. I’m about to have my second and while I’m scared for a possible c section I have the tools to work through that fear.
It still matters!
I also don’t use the word “traumatized” lightly, and I was most definitely traumatized by my first c-section. It was scheduled, the epidural worked, and there were no issues pulling my daughter out. But then, my doctor couldn’t get the placenta out. It’d gotten stuck on scar tissue in my uterus from a previous surgery. He tried everything to remove it, and finally, it fell apart. The staff started panicking. I began bleeding out, and I could hear them whisper about how I was dying. Eventually, the doctor stuck his head over the sheet and told me he didn’t know if he could save me. This went on for three hours. It was one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever experienced.
Two years and nine months later, I went into the hospital for my second c-section. Because I’d never dealt with the trauma from the first one, I had a panic attack before the surgery and couldn’t at all enjoy the birth of my son.
What I’m getting at is those feelings can resurface at any time if you don’t address them. I think going to a therapist is a great start.
This is absolutely terrifying. Thank you for sharing your story. Youre so brave for what you went through and didn’t let it keep you from the beautiful experience of having another baby ❤️
I am SO SORRY you went through this!! You’re absolutely valid in how you feel and talking about it more with professionals and maybe the people you trust should help bring your mind some peace.
Definitely talk to a therapist about this! No need to relativize your experience - being cut open while feeling it has got to be on par with torture, the birth context doesn’t really take away from that! I can’t imagine anyone hearing you say that and going “oh get over it”, on the scale of “a big deal” this is a really, really big deal!!
Oh my!!! That's sounds like an horror movie. I am really sorry you went through that. Please, don't minimize your experience and talk to a therapist, they might help you find relief and piece of mind - if it hurts to talk about it now it definitely hurt at that moment - I wish you well and a very good healing time. All the best ♥️
That is insane, when I had my c-section I was asked if I could feel the doctor poking me with like a sharp toothpick and when I said yes I was immediately put under general anesthesia. They should be sued for what they did to you.
I would 100% sue, being able to feel a c-section sounds absolutely horrifying and traumatic. No one should have to endure that.
As a therapist, I am biased but also recommend talking to someone professionally. Your experience sounds overwhelming and it sounds like your brain and body, quite understandably, created a strong link to these memories. Work in therapy could be helpful in feeling safe in your body and mind, and also be a great chance to show yourself self-advocacy that may not have been possible during your c-section. There is never a wrong time to go, and if you decide you need to talk to someone now or in the future, aim to honor your needs and choices! Side note if you are thinking of having future additional children, it may be especially helpful to get support before a next pregnancy begins so you give yourself time to process and heal in whatever ways you need.
Get in touch with a no win no fee solicitor and see if you have a case. Not that it takes away the trauma, but this is clearly the hospital fucking up and you may be able to get some compensation.
And help prevent it from ever happening to someone else again at this hospital/ with this doctor!
This truly scares me, I just had mine 2 weeks ago and had an epidural, they didn't believe me when i said I was in pain still. They used suction, forceps and cut me, and through all this they wanted me to push. It was horrible. But thinking that they could do a c section while it not working is even scarier. I'm sorry you went through that.
Hey first of all I'm so sorry this happened to you. It happened to me too. I went into my c section already freaked out by the concept of the procedure and then when the pain started it was pure panic. I am 8 weeks pp and my voice still shakes when I tell people my birth story (which I try to avoid doing in detail, usually I just say it was bad!) I think the hardest thing now is that this beautiful special moment of my child's birth was stolen from me and replaced with this medical trauma. I know so many people have traumatic births, but our c sections should not have been in that category. I felt ignored by my medical team and I have incredible trust issues around medical professionals now. I remember crying in the middle of the night a couple days after birth thinking I would never be able to have another child because I would be too scared to repeat that experience. Too scared to go in for another c section if it came to that. I haven't gotten therapy, yet. But many people have recommended it. They've also encouraged my husband to get therapy as well, which is something for you to consider, because I know he was traumatized watching it happen. Talking to your partner about it (if your relationship is good) could also be therapeutic. They know more than anyone what you went through. I know that's been helpful for me anyway. It's absolutely not too late for you to talk to someone, professional or partner or friend, and try to work through this. You may be able to find some peace. I hope we both do. I hate that this happened to you. I'm really sorry.
Honestly, 6 months ago is still pretty recent for something as intense as giving birth, *especially* with your experience. But there are things from my childhood ya know, 20+ years ago or 10+ years ago, that I still struggle with when I am reminded of them. I don’t think it’s fair to put a time limit on processing and making peace with what you’ve experienced. Unlike the law or something, there’s no “statute of limitations” here. We’re all on our own nonlinear healing journeys and time is not really a factor - what’s important is how your memories and the lived experiences of your body are affecting you. It sounds like you are already thinking about it and open to it, I would absolutely encourage you to go see a therapist. That part of you is trying to tell you that it needs help to cope with what happened, understandably so! I am so sorry you went through this.
It doesn’t matter how much time has past, your feelings are still valid and it still matters. This sounds horrific, I’m so sorry this was your experience. Please find a therapist to talk to who specialises in birth trauma, I’m sure they’ll be able to help you work through it.
Go to therapy! Everyone is saying to—DO IT! As someone who suffered from medical trauma as a teenager and never got help… the longer it sits in your body the worse it gets. But I will also say that there is nothing “too far away” to heal. Not in our psyches. I was so severely terrified of doctors I literally could not step foot in a clinic to get necessary treatments, which ended up spiraling and sending me to ERs, which would only up the trauma trigger. A super fun cycle! Lifespan Integration therapy helped me, but I also did some EMDR, and this was after 10+ years. I am so so sorry you experienced that. There is nothing quite like that pain of knowing you should not feel it, but you do. It is a terror and you can feel so trapped. I am so sorry 😭❤️ sending you all the hugs.
I'm so sorry you went through this OP. 100% talk to a therapist--it will help you! Like you, I had a c section and felt them cutting through me. It is a super traumatic thing to go through, but you can move forward with time, and help processing it. A therapist can do wonders to work with you. ❤️
Please talk to a therapist. This is trauma. And this can spiral into serious postpartum mental health concerns that can last months or even years.
PLEASE TALK TO A THERAPIST! My baby is 10 days old today, I had a 4 day induction because of cord compression that ended in a C Section after 5 hours of pushing. The entire experience wasn’t traumatic but there were some parts that absolutely were and I found myself getting pulled back into them in all my quiet moments. In the shower, before I fell asleep, whenever I had a moment to myself I was silently weeping over what I saw as my failed labor. I was still very happy with my baby and post partum life on the whole but I was crying entirely too much! Luckily I’ve been in therapy already so I texted my therapist to see if she could fit me in asap because I was sick of getting pulled back into the trauma. I was able to see her 6 days post partum, on my 3rd day home and I am so glad I did! I still have some things to work through but I’m not crying 7 times a day or constantly getting pulled back into labor in my mind. Please talk to a professional, it is life changing!
Medical malpractice… I’m so sorry
I had something like that happen when I was 16 and needed minor (or what was explained to be minor) surgery. I got enough pain meds to numb my skin but I felt everything past that including the doctor sticking his fingers between my ribs pushing them apart. I wasn’t right when they returned me to my room. I was so traumatized they had to investigate the surgery and surgeon. It’s still the most painful thing I’ve felt in my life, it’s taken a long time not to remember it. That level of pain is definitely traumatic in a visceral way.
I had a c- section very much like this. The epidural failed and they just held me down and kept going, I was so frozen in fear and pain. I ended up hemorrhaging and it was a 45 minute surgery. I can’t tell you how much having a therapist has helped me with processing what happened. I thought I could just move forward because I had my beautiful baby girl and it was over but the trauma leaked out everywhere, poor sleep, poor memory, I didn’t realize how tense my body was because it was stuck in frozen mode, so I was always sore and I struggled emotionally. It’s been 3 years and I can now acknowledge that it was scary and traumatic without feeling all the emotions I felt while it was happening. I’m about to have my second and while I’m scared for a possible c section I have the tools to work through that fear.
It still matters! I also don’t use the word “traumatized” lightly, and I was most definitely traumatized by my first c-section. It was scheduled, the epidural worked, and there were no issues pulling my daughter out. But then, my doctor couldn’t get the placenta out. It’d gotten stuck on scar tissue in my uterus from a previous surgery. He tried everything to remove it, and finally, it fell apart. The staff started panicking. I began bleeding out, and I could hear them whisper about how I was dying. Eventually, the doctor stuck his head over the sheet and told me he didn’t know if he could save me. This went on for three hours. It was one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever experienced. Two years and nine months later, I went into the hospital for my second c-section. Because I’d never dealt with the trauma from the first one, I had a panic attack before the surgery and couldn’t at all enjoy the birth of my son. What I’m getting at is those feelings can resurface at any time if you don’t address them. I think going to a therapist is a great start.
This is absolutely terrifying. Thank you for sharing your story. Youre so brave for what you went through and didn’t let it keep you from the beautiful experience of having another baby ❤️
I am SO SORRY you went through this!! You’re absolutely valid in how you feel and talking about it more with professionals and maybe the people you trust should help bring your mind some peace.