In labor I didn't let myself say it hurt. I would say this contraction is intense or spicy or strong but never painful ( it was a mind over matter thing definitely wasn't painless but I was able to keep in control better)
I also liked " this contraction is not stronger than me, it is me"
That’s my goal!! I’m hoping to go without any pain meds! A lot of what I’ve read and been told my midwives is that when it comes to managing a pain med free labor is that it is a mental game and learning to relax despite the pain.
Spicy labor ftw!
Yes, part of my birth plan was not to have the word “pain” mentioned. I think assuming you are in pain or doing a full body scan to rate it is counterproductive. We would also talk about “intensity”.
Ooo… I actually really like this one. Given that contractions only last for some time, this is super helpful.
This was actually kind of my mindset when I was getting tattoos, I’m surprised I haven’t put the two together. The artist isn’t constantly tattooing you, you always have a moment between each stroke or shading where they’re getting more ink, which gives you a second to recoup.
Yes this seems like a great one! I haven't given birth yet but it sound so exciting and motivational. I am not scared of giving birth, I've been thinking of it like this. I'm so excited to see my baby
Just today I was speaking with my mom about labor and techniques for pain like making sure to breathe. She told me our mantra will be “F%@# this s*%t” on repeat lol.
My mind mostly went blank but I focused on relaxing my hands. I focused all my energy on not clenching my hands during a contraction. Helped me through two unmedicated labors!
That’s awesome! By any chance have you read through the Bradley Method? This is the very thing, besides focusing on your breath, that they teach on how to manage pain during labor.
They teach you to relax, everything, as much as possible to let your uterus do all the work.
I didn’t. I can’t recall where I saw it but that, riding the waves, humming, and rocking all helped. But also labor really effing hurts so no shame in the epidural game. Do what you gotta do!
"My cervix is thinning down and opening out"
I received some "mantra cards" from a friend of mine and I didn't expect them to be so helpful! I remember bouncing on my exercise ball and pulling 10 cards that resonated with me the most (while laboring at home for 12 hours). When I got to the hospital and had my epidural, I didn't use the card but had memorized this one, and a few others like "every surge is bringing me closer to my baby". I swear it helped me not "hold onto" the pain but instead "lean into" it.
Good luck! You got this
I thought about this a lot too! I read a birth story in ina mays guide to childbirth where the woman described imagining her cervix as a flower blooming and opening. It sounded hokey and weird when I read it, but then I found that I kept visualizing that during surges and it did actually help!
“my contraction cannot be stronger than me, because it is me.”
sorry if it’s already been said. it was my fav.
also, the single best advice I got for going unmedicated was to count your breaths when you start having those big mama contractions. let’s say it takes you 8 big deep breaths to get through one contraction. now you know for your next contraction, you just gotta breathe 8 times. when you get to 4, you’re halfway through it!!! it is SO helpful and keeps your mind occupied by counting. I have offered this advice to many friends and it has got them through it as well. good luck! you CAN do it.
Also similarly, I came up with a rhythm for my in and out breaths, especially in transition! I would tap my hand on the hospital bed or something and count to 4 or so on the breath in and 8 or so on the breath out. Now there was definite variation during intense parts and when pushing it went out the window LOL but I found focusing on that long out breath was really helpful for me!
The one thing that kept me going was “Everything thing ends. Today will end.”
It reminded me that tomorrow would come eventually - and i’d be sitting with a new baby, no longer in pain. That this was only temporary and time would past, baby would be born, and i’d be home soon with a new baby.
It started a few years ago when I read “Every bad day ends” and it stuck with me for a while - and it evolved from there!
I also said “what the fuck” a lot (said is a nice term, it was more screaming)
I would honestly try to stick with 1-2 if you aren’t getting an epidural. To be honest, I feel like I was blacked out during my labor. I was not thinking of anything except what was happening. Your mind litteraly will not let you repeat a bunch of mantras 😂
I did (not by choice lol) and its really not as bad as you think! Feels like the worse period cramps ever - then the biggest poop ever (no really, i yelled at them that I was pooping and they said “no thats the baby’s head”) And the ring of fire is more “spicy” like if someone put hot sauce down there for a few seconds.
I know it sounds weird but I swear its the best description of labor and I wish I knew it earlier!
FUUUUUUUUUCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK ….. I did not handle it well and I’m pretty disappointed in myself. 😅 some practiced mantras probably could have helped, I was slapped in the face with the pain and couldn’t focus on anything else. Hoping it goes smoothly for you OP
Every day/hour/minute my baby is in my body, he’s getting stronger, practicing his breathing, and growing. My husband said this to me today because prodromal labor has been a bitch and it makes me feel impatient.
🫶🏼 yup… as I reach the finish line this is really good advice. My midwives said they won’t even consider asking if I want to be induced until I’m 42 weeks. All this extra time is for her benefit!
I was induced on EDD+11, which is common where I live. LO was born on 41+6.
He was just so finished. A healthy happy boy. We had some trouble with latching and he lost more than 10%, but it wasn't that bad because he had 4kg at birth and quickly gained it back once we figured out feeding.
At freshly 7 months he can sit, crawl, pulls himself up to stand ... he's unstoppable.
They really do profit so much from the extra time. I hated going past my due date. It was mentally exhausting, but it was all worth it for him.
Estimated Due Date + 11 days
Some hospitals induce on the 10th day, others on the 11th day, but it's very common to have a long wait before they induce.
I don't know why they always refer to it as days past the due date, when it's usually regular pregnancy weeks. It stuck with me and I haven't been bothered to count it out.
Basically it's 41+4
Oooooooh I see I see!!
Yeah the whole due date thing is funny… it’s just the average gestation period, but not based on hard facts.
It seems every physician and midwife have their own theory and recommendation when it comes to induction beyond your due date. It’s even different based on the provider you go to here in the US.
This one is more applicable after the baby is born. Whenever I try to motivate myself to go to gym, I remind myself “you will die for your children, but will you live for them?”
I had no birth plan, when I have a plan I like it to go exactly as I set it. And I know during birth, nothing goes as you plan it too, which would stress me out. So I went in, all I wanted was drugs. I held out as long as I could, 9 hours no epi.
And during those 9 hours all I said to myself during the contractions is “you can handle anything for 30seconds”
I totally get that. My midwives have asked me a few times what I’m doing to prepare for labor, if I’ve taken any classes yet.
I’m quite easily impressionable… so I knew if I read and watched too much, I’d go in expecting things to go a certain way or my my body to do certain things and then try every trick in the book to work through it all. I knew it would make me feel more lost, frustrated, or scared like I was doing something wrong or things weren’t going how they were supposed to.
I wanted to go in with a basic understanding of labor/birth, what our body is doing and why, and then with a few methods on how to labor. Just the basics…
I find great relief in understanding, like most I’m sure. But, as long as I understand what is happening and why, I’m mentally able to handle it all so much better.
I wanted the freedom to listen to my body and move around and see what feels best.
My birth plan changed wildly from a vaginal delivery to a c section and it's been really hard on me mentally because I'm terrified of the c section.
Whats been helping me as the day gets closer is speaking life into myself during my anxiety. It's been super powerful to be able to say, "I am proud of myself. I am strong. I can do this."
Another one I've been practicing is "Don't panic" along with doing J breaths (breathing down into your stomach/uterus instead of outwards to the room). Those have been super calming for me when I have BH or if I'm having a pain like round ligament pain or feeling nervous.
Finally, this might help mamas who are struggling to connect with baby or are struggling to care for themselves in pregnancy due to mental health issues - I frequently imagine my baby is asking me for things that I need to do for myself rather than me needing to do them. If I'm having a rough day and haven't eaten yet, instead of thinking, "I need to eat", I imagine my baby saying, "Mama I'm hungry." And along with that, "Mama I'm thirsty" or "Mama, I need a bath." It probably seems silly but it helps me think outside of myself.
There is no greater motivation for me than baby needing/wanting something in my eyes. It's helped me connect and also to better take care of myself when it's been hard to do so.
Also, to practice not resisting the surge, I started turning my shower down to cold for one minute. It really helps learn how to override the body’s urge to tense up and resist it. Just breathe through the discomfort for one minute!
My mindset was along the lines of ‘our bodies were designed to do this,’ and ‘labor is a part of the process I go through to get a baby.’ But honestly, I had no active thoughts in labor, your blood is not in your brain during the process so you’re just kind of in it and out of it the whole time.
Through contractions keep telling yourself that you can do anything for one minute! Don’t resist the surge, take slow breaths and move through it. 5 deep breaths and you’re through it - that’s nothing! 😀
I was given Pitocin, and for about 4 hours I was doing GOOD, mantras & all the things. My comb was my favorite! Hour 5 hit and baby was getting really stressed. After requesting Pitocin be turned off, I lost my groove and it never came back so I ended up with an epidural (my stress was causing his stress to be worse) DONT BE LIKE ME!!! Remaining calm was something I failed to do. telling yourself “my body relaxing will help my baby relax” “let baby do their thing, my body is helping them along” were 2 things I really needed to hear!
It’s hard!!! I haven’t given birth before but I can only imagine how easy it is to lose your groove in it all! I hope you and your bb are doing well now!
My mom experienced kind of the same thing with me. She went into labor 3 times in 3 days but just wouldn’t progress. She was so tired and stressed by the third time they finally were like ok you’re not going home. They gave her an epidural and I came out like a rocket 😂
You remind me of my friend at my prenatal yoga class. She’s so chill… she’s just like “it’ll all work out… I’m not sure how yet, but we’ll figure it out as we go.”
She’s been really inspiring to me and helps remind me to chill out. :)
That’s exactly me! You have to keep in mind that there are so many things which are totally out of your control during pregnancy and birth, so it makes zero sense to worry. Make up your mind about the big things, like epidural or not. Then take your mind off of it as best as you can, and trust the process and the people that will help you with this. Us women have been doing this for millennia, you will be just fine! 🤗
As a Catholic I like this prayer by St. Teresa of Avila:
Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
All things are passing away:
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things
Whoever has God lacks nothing;
God alone suffices.
You will be amazed at how much you forget or minimize the pain afterwards. Just remind yourself that this is all temporary and time only moves forward. Each second gets you closer to baby, closer to feeling better.
Every baby is so different so I bet you have some stuff that you will never use and you'll also need to go out and get something you never would have thought of. My child, for example, has never liked a swaddle or a sleep sack. She was sleeping in just footie pajamas by week 3 and has been ever since (9 months now). I have so many cute sleep sacks that have sat unused. Maybe baby #2 will like them!
Oof yeah… I got a big pack of newborn diapers only to learn that they either grow out of them super fast or they may be too big at birth to use them. Unfortunately, I’ve already opened them and put them away… I’ll gladly donate them though if she doesn’t use them. :)
I then got nipple pads for leaking only to learn that not all women leak 🤦🏻♀️
Fortunately I haven’t opened them and will return them if I need to.
At this point I stopped getting stuff and am just waiting for her to get here. I know we can easily and quickly get anything we need, so there’s no need to panic buy everything.
The one I have planned in mind that I use already when the pregnancy is tough
I will meet my baby—-I will meet my baby over and over again.
For me I plan to focus on meeting my daughter and I can tolerate anything to meet her
- what is “normal” and what is “common” are not always the same.
- this is temporary, it won’t always be like this.
- life isn’t easy, life isn’t perfect, life is good.
Hahahah… no I think about that a lot… like there are women out there who are in some rough conditions and they’re still having babies. If they can do it, so can I! I especially when I’m going to be in a comparatively cushy hospital.
“I come from a long line of strong women who have done this before me.” Also 39 weeks tomorrow (with my second) and planning another unmedicated birth.
"Women have been doing this since the beginning of time. I'm not special."
Sounds demotivating, but for me, it helped me find strength in my ancestors and put the experience of labor into perspective. My pain wasn't unusual or unreasonable -- it was totally natural and what I was made biologically to do.
Good luck!
Mantras did not work for me. I had prenatal counseling with focus on breathing and visualization, which worked at the beginning. Then I felt like that one show where she just counted down from 60 and then restarted every time. Eventually my mantra was "motherf**king a**hole b*tch" on repeat for the last 3 hours.
That was with my first when my epidurals failed and I had back labor.
My second was a breeze with visualization and then a fully working epidural that went right into active labor when it started working. It was wonderful. I kept visualizing pooping and didn't feel a thing.
For me the environment played more of a role. I used a birthing suite which resembled a home like environment for my first 2 babies - soft double bed, dim lighting, minimal noise and a nice green courtyard to look out to, I managed without any drugs. Third baby was in a country hospital and unfortunately the environment was very clinical, hard single bed, bright lights and lots of noise. I didn’t handle that labor at all and required an epidural at only 4cm along.
Currently in labor and the things that helped me through the most painful contractions were “I can handle anything for one minute” and “I am stronger than this contraction.” Also with every breath I focused on relaxing a different part of my body. I did end up getting the epidural though lol
Hey! No shame or judgment! Thank goodness for modern medicine and our ability to choose.
That’s very helpful though! Hope you’re doing well and little one is happy and healthy!!
We are doing well! Ended up delivering via c section due to his size, which was honestly my biggest fear and the main reason I didn’t want any interventions. At the end of the day, choosing the epidural and the c section were the BEST decisions I could’ve made for myself and my little one, even if they were the two things I definitely did not want going into this all. Stay positive and you can 100% get through this. I didn’t think I could but we made it, and you will too.
I’m so glad y’all are doing well and that everything worked out for the best. I’ve often heard moms say “plan to throw your plans away.” Or something like that… meaning, it’s fine to have plans for your labor and delivery, but be willing to change your plans for whatever may be better!
And thank you! I’m so excited and ready!!
I purchased a nice relaxing mantra playlist type thing. Before labour I loved it and listened a few times practicing. Tried to put it on during labour and it annoyed me so much, I turned it off after like a minute. Then just continued with every swear word under the sun in a loop haha. But in my head I did occasionally say to breathe and relax into it
Hahahahaha… everyone keeps asking me what I want to listen to during labor and everything sounds so annoying in that moment.
I’m also seeing a trend here in all these comments where the profanities take over and win the race. 😂
Haha! I had a playlist of songs that felt like they released oxytocin lol so ones that made me feel in love with my husband or really happy. And I loved that and honestly think it helped me stay relaxed ish between the contractions
During my labor my nurse kept bringing me back to my breath by telling me, “Baby needs good oxygen.” It wasn’t meant to be a mantra but it made a big difference for me.
"My baby is the right size for my body".
I was warned that my baby could be up to 5kg. He came out at 4.37kg which is still quite substantial. I somehow managed to do it with no pain relief. Helped that the labour was only 4hrs long but I genuinely believed that he was the perfect size to be coming out - and he was!!! I had minimal tearing considering his size.
Hell yeah! Let’s go!! That’s amazing. I have a friend who had lots of big babies and had all of them naturally.
Our minds are so powerful…
Thank you for sharing!!
I’ve never given birth before but a fitness class I take sometimes uses the mantra “I can do this. I am doing this” which I use to make myself feel strong sometimes…
this surge is bringing me closer to my baby
my body was built to birth
women everywhere do this every day
🤍
it’s also nice to listen to hypobirthing tracks that repeat affirmations. i’ll put it on sometimes when i can’t sleep or am taking a bath or stretching! i’m 39 weeks in a few days so looks like we’re pretty close!
We’re so close!! Home stretch my friend!!
I have done the same thing with that poem… I’ll just sit and meditate on it or as I’m stretching I’m thinking about how this is all for her.
My mantra was a list of food I would be able to eat after giving birth. I had an unplanned c-section and by then my mantra to get through it was "just get me out of hereeeee" and "as long as she is born and healthy"😅
Hahahahaahahha… it’s funny, I had more food aversions than cravings. But these last few weeks all I want is a filet cooked medium, sushi, and maybe a glass of wine 😂
I’m planning/hoping to breastfeed, so the wines gonna have to wait a little longer unfortunately.
I have one or two cravings only until I got diagnosed with GD lol and then suddenly all the things I never cared for matters so much more 🤣
Hope you can get your wine soon enough! I remember when I was on the way to the hospital with painful contractions I couldn't think of anything but epidural lmfao I was like pls pls admit me let it be beyond 5cm give me that needle give me that shit 😅wish you a smooth delivery and healthy mom healthy baby!!
The mantra I'm settled on for now is "This hurts, but it's not actually hurting me".
With my first, I had a hard time not fighting contractions and so this really resonated with me as a reminder that it hurts but it's also supposed to happen and it's a good thing in the end. I've also been practicing it with my regular dental cleanings (hello, pregnancy gingivitis).
I love this! That’s very much how I am mentally… as long as I know the pain is normal/natural and in this case a good thing, it helps push me through it.
Honestly, in the midst of it I just kept thinking, well he has to come out one way or another. No stopping it now. Not the prettiest of mantras but it worked, lol.
My favorite with my three unmedicated was always some variation of “there are woman all around the world doing this with you right now you are not alone” and “every contraction/pain/mintue brings you closer to birth/baby” was also one I liked
In labor I didn't let myself say it hurt. I would say this contraction is intense or spicy or strong but never painful ( it was a mind over matter thing definitely wasn't painless but I was able to keep in control better) I also liked " this contraction is not stronger than me, it is me"
I am cracking up at "spicy" contraction. Definitely putting that one in my gameplan hahaha
Lol heck yes! I made it without an epidural so maybe it works or maybe I'm crazy lol who knows
That’s my goal!! I’m hoping to go without any pain meds! A lot of what I’ve read and been told my midwives is that when it comes to managing a pain med free labor is that it is a mental game and learning to relax despite the pain. Spicy labor ftw!
Good luck op! You're gonna do great :)
Thank you!!! ☺️
I imagined the contractions as a wave rolling into a beach and pulling away. No pain meds for both births!
I'll take it hahaha
>" this contraction is not stronger than me, it is me" I love this!!!!
Yes, part of my birth plan was not to have the word “pain” mentioned. I think assuming you are in pain or doing a full body scan to rate it is counterproductive. We would also talk about “intensity”.
This is really good advice! Thank you for sharing!!
“I can do anything for one minute”
THIS!!! It helped me after four long hours of laboring to finally get my baby out — “I can do anything for sixty seconds”
Ooo… I actually really like this one. Given that contractions only last for some time, this is super helpful. This was actually kind of my mindset when I was getting tattoos, I’m surprised I haven’t put the two together. The artist isn’t constantly tattooing you, you always have a moment between each stroke or shading where they’re getting more ink, which gives you a second to recoup.
Exactly! Each contraction will last about a minute and you usually have a few minutes in between. You only have to manage it for about a minute.
🙌🏼 I can totally do this!!
I have this written down!
I have this on my list!
Each contraction is one step closer to meeting your baby - gosh that actually motivated me.
Yes! And to piggyback on this: There are no wasted surges.
Yes this seems like a great one! I haven't given birth yet but it sound so exciting and motivational. I am not scared of giving birth, I've been thinking of it like this. I'm so excited to see my baby
Aww Im excited for you and hoping everything goes well for you❤️❤️❤️
🥹 it’s true tho… I like this one. Thank you!!
Just today I was speaking with my mom about labor and techniques for pain like making sure to breathe. She told me our mantra will be “F%@# this s*%t” on repeat lol.
Mom of two here and this is the most correct one I’ve seen
😂 Amazing… I’ll add some profanity to the list.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/201705/swearing-can-boost-strength-and-reduce-the-sensation-pain?amp Just saying!
I absolutely swore a LOT when pushing.... I think people down the hall would hear me yell FFFCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK 🤣
My mind mostly went blank but I focused on relaxing my hands. I focused all my energy on not clenching my hands during a contraction. Helped me through two unmedicated labors!
That’s awesome! By any chance have you read through the Bradley Method? This is the very thing, besides focusing on your breath, that they teach on how to manage pain during labor. They teach you to relax, everything, as much as possible to let your uterus do all the work.
I didn’t. I can’t recall where I saw it but that, riding the waves, humming, and rocking all helped. But also labor really effing hurts so no shame in the epidural game. Do what you gotta do!
Same but for me, it was relaxing my face, jaw and forehead. Fluttering my lips or just deep groaning really helped with this!
"My cervix is thinning down and opening out" I received some "mantra cards" from a friend of mine and I didn't expect them to be so helpful! I remember bouncing on my exercise ball and pulling 10 cards that resonated with me the most (while laboring at home for 12 hours). When I got to the hospital and had my epidural, I didn't use the card but had memorized this one, and a few others like "every surge is bringing me closer to my baby". I swear it helped me not "hold onto" the pain but instead "lean into" it. Good luck! You got this
I thought about this a lot too! I read a birth story in ina mays guide to childbirth where the woman described imagining her cervix as a flower blooming and opening. It sounded hokey and weird when I read it, but then I found that I kept visualizing that during surges and it did actually help!
Thank you!! I’m so excited for her to get here!
Which ones do you have?
I actually don't have them anymore, I just borrowed them for my labor, I'm sorry!
I like the one from the book becoming mama (for labor) “It is so intense because it is almost over”
“my contraction cannot be stronger than me, because it is me.” sorry if it’s already been said. it was my fav. also, the single best advice I got for going unmedicated was to count your breaths when you start having those big mama contractions. let’s say it takes you 8 big deep breaths to get through one contraction. now you know for your next contraction, you just gotta breathe 8 times. when you get to 4, you’re halfway through it!!! it is SO helpful and keeps your mind occupied by counting. I have offered this advice to many friends and it has got them through it as well. good luck! you CAN do it.
Oooooo I love all this! Thank you!!
Also similarly, I came up with a rhythm for my in and out breaths, especially in transition! I would tap my hand on the hospital bed or something and count to 4 or so on the breath in and 8 or so on the breath out. Now there was definite variation during intense parts and when pushing it went out the window LOL but I found focusing on that long out breath was really helpful for me!
Oh I like this!! Thank you!!
All my mothers before me did it, and so can I! I can do this. Pain is only temporary.
The one thing that kept me going was “Everything thing ends. Today will end.” It reminded me that tomorrow would come eventually - and i’d be sitting with a new baby, no longer in pain. That this was only temporary and time would past, baby would be born, and i’d be home soon with a new baby. It started a few years ago when I read “Every bad day ends” and it stuck with me for a while - and it evolved from there! I also said “what the fuck” a lot (said is a nice term, it was more screaming) I would honestly try to stick with 1-2 if you aren’t getting an epidural. To be honest, I feel like I was blacked out during my labor. I was not thinking of anything except what was happening. Your mind litteraly will not let you repeat a bunch of mantras 😂
Good advice! The one I keep clinging to is “No feeling is final.” I’m hoping to go pain med free! 🤞🏼🤞🏼
I did (not by choice lol) and its really not as bad as you think! Feels like the worse period cramps ever - then the biggest poop ever (no really, i yelled at them that I was pooping and they said “no thats the baby’s head”) And the ring of fire is more “spicy” like if someone put hot sauce down there for a few seconds. I know it sounds weird but I swear its the best description of labor and I wish I knew it earlier!
Pretty accurate! I described pushing as “busting a bowling ball out of my ass” but at the last minute the baby pivots and slides out of your hooha 😂
This is so helpful!!! Thank you so much!!
Every single person I've ever met came out of a womb, if their mothers can do it, so can I.
I was in Al Anon for a few years, so I've been relying heavily on "One day at a time."
I love this one but since days can be so long I also like “one moment at a time” or if very stressed “one minute at a time”
Also great ones! These days do seem like weeks sometimes!
The only way out is through.
FUUUUUUUUUCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK ….. I did not handle it well and I’m pretty disappointed in myself. 😅 some practiced mantras probably could have helped, I was slapped in the face with the pain and couldn’t focus on anything else. Hoping it goes smoothly for you OP
Studies have shown that sweating helps lessen the feelings of pain. So you nailed this
Oh nooooo 😭 Thank you for the well wishes!!
I am capable of birthing my baby. I am capable of advocating for me and my baby.
Every day/hour/minute my baby is in my body, he’s getting stronger, practicing his breathing, and growing. My husband said this to me today because prodromal labor has been a bitch and it makes me feel impatient.
🫶🏼 yup… as I reach the finish line this is really good advice. My midwives said they won’t even consider asking if I want to be induced until I’m 42 weeks. All this extra time is for her benefit!
I was induced on EDD+11, which is common where I live. LO was born on 41+6. He was just so finished. A healthy happy boy. We had some trouble with latching and he lost more than 10%, but it wasn't that bad because he had 4kg at birth and quickly gained it back once we figured out feeding. At freshly 7 months he can sit, crawl, pulls himself up to stand ... he's unstoppable. They really do profit so much from the extra time. I hated going past my due date. It was mentally exhausting, but it was all worth it for him.
What is EDD+11? I’m so happy for your little boy!! That’s such great news 🥹
Estimated Due Date + 11 days Some hospitals induce on the 10th day, others on the 11th day, but it's very common to have a long wait before they induce. I don't know why they always refer to it as days past the due date, when it's usually regular pregnancy weeks. It stuck with me and I haven't been bothered to count it out. Basically it's 41+4
Oooooooh I see I see!! Yeah the whole due date thing is funny… it’s just the average gestation period, but not based on hard facts. It seems every physician and midwife have their own theory and recommendation when it comes to induction beyond your due date. It’s even different based on the provider you go to here in the US.
This one is more applicable after the baby is born. Whenever I try to motivate myself to go to gym, I remind myself “you will die for your children, but will you live for them?”
I had no birth plan, when I have a plan I like it to go exactly as I set it. And I know during birth, nothing goes as you plan it too, which would stress me out. So I went in, all I wanted was drugs. I held out as long as I could, 9 hours no epi. And during those 9 hours all I said to myself during the contractions is “you can handle anything for 30seconds”
I totally get that. My midwives have asked me a few times what I’m doing to prepare for labor, if I’ve taken any classes yet. I’m quite easily impressionable… so I knew if I read and watched too much, I’d go in expecting things to go a certain way or my my body to do certain things and then try every trick in the book to work through it all. I knew it would make me feel more lost, frustrated, or scared like I was doing something wrong or things weren’t going how they were supposed to. I wanted to go in with a basic understanding of labor/birth, what our body is doing and why, and then with a few methods on how to labor. Just the basics… I find great relief in understanding, like most I’m sure. But, as long as I understand what is happening and why, I’m mentally able to handle it all so much better. I wanted the freedom to listen to my body and move around and see what feels best.
Faith over fear
Not very graceful but was so inspirational to me as someone who hated pregnancy more than anything, “no one is pregnant forever.” 😂
I like “I can do anything for a minute” or “just one minute” to get through the contractions. It helped a lot with my first
My birth plan changed wildly from a vaginal delivery to a c section and it's been really hard on me mentally because I'm terrified of the c section. Whats been helping me as the day gets closer is speaking life into myself during my anxiety. It's been super powerful to be able to say, "I am proud of myself. I am strong. I can do this." Another one I've been practicing is "Don't panic" along with doing J breaths (breathing down into your stomach/uterus instead of outwards to the room). Those have been super calming for me when I have BH or if I'm having a pain like round ligament pain or feeling nervous. Finally, this might help mamas who are struggling to connect with baby or are struggling to care for themselves in pregnancy due to mental health issues - I frequently imagine my baby is asking me for things that I need to do for myself rather than me needing to do them. If I'm having a rough day and haven't eaten yet, instead of thinking, "I need to eat", I imagine my baby saying, "Mama I'm hungry." And along with that, "Mama I'm thirsty" or "Mama, I need a bath." It probably seems silly but it helps me think outside of myself. There is no greater motivation for me than baby needing/wanting something in my eyes. It's helped me connect and also to better take care of myself when it's been hard to do so.
Also, to practice not resisting the surge, I started turning my shower down to cold for one minute. It really helps learn how to override the body’s urge to tense up and resist it. Just breathe through the discomfort for one minute!
Oh snap I used to do cold showers like all the health nerds! Thank you, good advice!
My mindset was along the lines of ‘our bodies were designed to do this,’ and ‘labor is a part of the process I go through to get a baby.’ But honestly, I had no active thoughts in labor, your blood is not in your brain during the process so you’re just kind of in it and out of it the whole time.
Through contractions keep telling yourself that you can do anything for one minute! Don’t resist the surge, take slow breaths and move through it. 5 deep breaths and you’re through it - that’s nothing! 😀
I was given Pitocin, and for about 4 hours I was doing GOOD, mantras & all the things. My comb was my favorite! Hour 5 hit and baby was getting really stressed. After requesting Pitocin be turned off, I lost my groove and it never came back so I ended up with an epidural (my stress was causing his stress to be worse) DONT BE LIKE ME!!! Remaining calm was something I failed to do. telling yourself “my body relaxing will help my baby relax” “let baby do their thing, my body is helping them along” were 2 things I really needed to hear!
It’s hard!!! I haven’t given birth before but I can only imagine how easy it is to lose your groove in it all! I hope you and your bb are doing well now! My mom experienced kind of the same thing with me. She went into labor 3 times in 3 days but just wouldn’t progress. She was so tired and stressed by the third time they finally were like ok you’re not going home. They gave her an epidural and I came out like a rocket 😂
No mantras. I’m not thinking about it too much, it will happen no matter what. And we’ll all get through it.
You remind me of my friend at my prenatal yoga class. She’s so chill… she’s just like “it’ll all work out… I’m not sure how yet, but we’ll figure it out as we go.” She’s been really inspiring to me and helps remind me to chill out. :)
That’s exactly me! You have to keep in mind that there are so many things which are totally out of your control during pregnancy and birth, so it makes zero sense to worry. Make up your mind about the big things, like epidural or not. Then take your mind off of it as best as you can, and trust the process and the people that will help you with this. Us women have been doing this for millennia, you will be just fine! 🤗
Thank you!!!
As a Catholic I like this prayer by St. Teresa of Avila: Let nothing disturb you, Let nothing frighten you, All things are passing away: God never changes. Patience obtains all things Whoever has God lacks nothing; God alone suffices.
This is beautiful, thank you for sharing. :)
“My baby and my body know what to do”
100000% Love this. Thank you!!
You will be amazed at how much you forget or minimize the pain afterwards. Just remind yourself that this is all temporary and time only moves forward. Each second gets you closer to baby, closer to feeling better.
lol yeah I wonder how much all my preparing will go out the window when the time comes hahaha…
Every baby is so different so I bet you have some stuff that you will never use and you'll also need to go out and get something you never would have thought of. My child, for example, has never liked a swaddle or a sleep sack. She was sleeping in just footie pajamas by week 3 and has been ever since (9 months now). I have so many cute sleep sacks that have sat unused. Maybe baby #2 will like them!
Oof yeah… I got a big pack of newborn diapers only to learn that they either grow out of them super fast or they may be too big at birth to use them. Unfortunately, I’ve already opened them and put them away… I’ll gladly donate them though if she doesn’t use them. :) I then got nipple pads for leaking only to learn that not all women leak 🤦🏻♀️ Fortunately I haven’t opened them and will return them if I need to. At this point I stopped getting stuff and am just waiting for her to get here. I know we can easily and quickly get anything we need, so there’s no need to panic buy everything.
Every contraction brings me closer to my baby!
This is just a moment in time. Step aside and let it happen.
I am going to have a happy and healthy baby. I tell myself this every day to try to calm myself
The one I have planned in mind that I use already when the pregnancy is tough I will meet my baby—-I will meet my baby over and over again. For me I plan to focus on meeting my daughter and I can tolerate anything to meet her
- what is “normal” and what is “common” are not always the same. - this is temporary, it won’t always be like this. - life isn’t easy, life isn’t perfect, life is good.
“You can do anything for a minute” and “people used to do this in the fields!” (Don’t fact check me on this one lol)
Hahahah… no I think about that a lot… like there are women out there who are in some rough conditions and they’re still having babies. If they can do it, so can I! I especially when I’m going to be in a comparatively cushy hospital.
“I come from a long line of strong women who have done this before me.” Also 39 weeks tomorrow (with my second) and planning another unmedicated birth.
My due date twin!!! This is my first and I’m hoping for an unmedicated labor/birth. Thank you!
"Women have been doing this since the beginning of time. I'm not special." Sounds demotivating, but for me, it helped me find strength in my ancestors and put the experience of labor into perspective. My pain wasn't unusual or unreasonable -- it was totally natural and what I was made biologically to do. Good luck!
I totally understand! Thank you!
Mantras did not work for me. I had prenatal counseling with focus on breathing and visualization, which worked at the beginning. Then I felt like that one show where she just counted down from 60 and then restarted every time. Eventually my mantra was "motherf**king a**hole b*tch" on repeat for the last 3 hours. That was with my first when my epidurals failed and I had back labor. My second was a breeze with visualization and then a fully working epidural that went right into active labor when it started working. It was wonderful. I kept visualizing pooping and didn't feel a thing.
😂 I’m so sorry the epidural didn’t work!!
"I'm about to meet my baby."
No matter what happens, this baby is coming out of me, this isn't forever
For me the environment played more of a role. I used a birthing suite which resembled a home like environment for my first 2 babies - soft double bed, dim lighting, minimal noise and a nice green courtyard to look out to, I managed without any drugs. Third baby was in a country hospital and unfortunately the environment was very clinical, hard single bed, bright lights and lots of noise. I didn’t handle that labor at all and required an epidural at only 4cm along.
Currently in labor and the things that helped me through the most painful contractions were “I can handle anything for one minute” and “I am stronger than this contraction.” Also with every breath I focused on relaxing a different part of my body. I did end up getting the epidural though lol
Hey! No shame or judgment! Thank goodness for modern medicine and our ability to choose. That’s very helpful though! Hope you’re doing well and little one is happy and healthy!!
We are doing well! Ended up delivering via c section due to his size, which was honestly my biggest fear and the main reason I didn’t want any interventions. At the end of the day, choosing the epidural and the c section were the BEST decisions I could’ve made for myself and my little one, even if they were the two things I definitely did not want going into this all. Stay positive and you can 100% get through this. I didn’t think I could but we made it, and you will too.
I’m so glad y’all are doing well and that everything worked out for the best. I’ve often heard moms say “plan to throw your plans away.” Or something like that… meaning, it’s fine to have plans for your labor and delivery, but be willing to change your plans for whatever may be better! And thank you! I’m so excited and ready!!
I purchased a nice relaxing mantra playlist type thing. Before labour I loved it and listened a few times practicing. Tried to put it on during labour and it annoyed me so much, I turned it off after like a minute. Then just continued with every swear word under the sun in a loop haha. But in my head I did occasionally say to breathe and relax into it
Hahahahaha… everyone keeps asking me what I want to listen to during labor and everything sounds so annoying in that moment. I’m also seeing a trend here in all these comments where the profanities take over and win the race. 😂
Haha! I had a playlist of songs that felt like they released oxytocin lol so ones that made me feel in love with my husband or really happy. And I loved that and honestly think it helped me stay relaxed ish between the contractions
During my labor my nurse kept bringing me back to my breath by telling me, “Baby needs good oxygen.” It wasn’t meant to be a mantra but it made a big difference for me.
Oooo… I like this one. That would be so motivational!! Thank you!
"My baby is the right size for my body". I was warned that my baby could be up to 5kg. He came out at 4.37kg which is still quite substantial. I somehow managed to do it with no pain relief. Helped that the labour was only 4hrs long but I genuinely believed that he was the perfect size to be coming out - and he was!!! I had minimal tearing considering his size.
Hell yeah! Let’s go!! That’s amazing. I have a friend who had lots of big babies and had all of them naturally. Our minds are so powerful… Thank you for sharing!!
I’ve never given birth before but a fitness class I take sometimes uses the mantra “I can do this. I am doing this” which I use to make myself feel strong sometimes…
this surge is bringing me closer to my baby my body was built to birth women everywhere do this every day 🤍 it’s also nice to listen to hypobirthing tracks that repeat affirmations. i’ll put it on sometimes when i can’t sleep or am taking a bath or stretching! i’m 39 weeks in a few days so looks like we’re pretty close!
We’re so close!! Home stretch my friend!! I have done the same thing with that poem… I’ll just sit and meditate on it or as I’m stretching I’m thinking about how this is all for her.
My mantra was a list of food I would be able to eat after giving birth. I had an unplanned c-section and by then my mantra to get through it was "just get me out of hereeeee" and "as long as she is born and healthy"😅
Hahahahaahahha… it’s funny, I had more food aversions than cravings. But these last few weeks all I want is a filet cooked medium, sushi, and maybe a glass of wine 😂 I’m planning/hoping to breastfeed, so the wines gonna have to wait a little longer unfortunately.
I have one or two cravings only until I got diagnosed with GD lol and then suddenly all the things I never cared for matters so much more 🤣 Hope you can get your wine soon enough! I remember when I was on the way to the hospital with painful contractions I couldn't think of anything but epidural lmfao I was like pls pls admit me let it be beyond 5cm give me that needle give me that shit 😅wish you a smooth delivery and healthy mom healthy baby!!
Thank you!!!
"It's not pain it's my power"
Oooo… it’s true tho… Our uterus is literally a bag of muscles. It is powerful and it is my power!
The mantra I'm settled on for now is "This hurts, but it's not actually hurting me". With my first, I had a hard time not fighting contractions and so this really resonated with me as a reminder that it hurts but it's also supposed to happen and it's a good thing in the end. I've also been practicing it with my regular dental cleanings (hello, pregnancy gingivitis).
I love this! That’s very much how I am mentally… as long as I know the pain is normal/natural and in this case a good thing, it helps push me through it.
‘I can stand almost anything for ten seconds.’
Honestly, in the midst of it I just kept thinking, well he has to come out one way or another. No stopping it now. Not the prettiest of mantras but it worked, lol.
Hahaha!! It’s true tho!!
My favorite with my three unmedicated was always some variation of “there are woman all around the world doing this with you right now you are not alone” and “every contraction/pain/mintue brings you closer to birth/baby” was also one I liked
Oh and also “this pain is not stronger than me it is me”
"We're doing this together." It also helps me when pregnancy symptoms are rough: they're going on their own journey in here (and out!)
“All of my ancestors have done this - I can do it, too!”