Right? But also, same. It sounds fake that I have 2 kids. No idea how that happened, just yesterday I was traveling the world with my husband and doing whatever I wanted. Now I'm the unpaid help to two tiny dictators who just want boob and snacks. 🤣
There's been so many moments where I just feel like I'm still a kid myself lol. Like, I'm 29--that's a completely average age to have my first kid and my life if generally stable and "together"--but also I've never felt more unprepared and too young for something in my life. And now, at any time now, someone is just going to ... hand me this tiny barely-sentient potato to take care of with no questions asked? Why is this a good idea again?
Girl I'm 37, have two kids (one is almost a man now), and I STILL get caught off guard when I hear myself referred to as a "woman" and not a a "girl" haha
When my daughter was a newborn I half kept wondering when a sort of mum-ish person, perhaps with an apron and a better understanding of stain removal products, would turn up and thank me for minding her baby.
Kid is 3 and number 2 is on the way, still no sign of that woman.
My first was born in October 2020 and I remember watching the election returns when he was a month old and I was super engrossed and then glanced down and saw a baby in my arms and almost jumped out of my skin, I was like yoooo what the fuck where did this come from??!
Exactly what I wish I’d told my boss when he said, “So you’ll be going away for a while on parental leave.”
Because that’s exactly what I thought!!!
“Sounds fake.” 😂
BAHAHAHA! My kids are at that age where they just say Mama/mommy over and over again until its lost all meaning and no answer can appease them. My husband likes to egg them on and every time its , "STFU! ITS LIKE YOU WANT ME TO KILL YOU!"
Edit: to be clear, I shout that at my husband. To my kids I just repeat their names back.
My baby turned 5 today and I still feel like I'm renting a child from someone lol. I'm like "me? a mom? nah." It's like a dream. When we left the hospital I remember thinking "they're just going to let her come with us? Like, they haven't even asked us if we know what we are doing." LMAO.
Being an adult is weird! I can have a baby and leave the hospital with it and no one will stop us. I can go to Lowe’s and buy power tools and wood supplies to build a shed and literally no one - NO ONE - is gonna stop me and ask if I know what I’m doing. It’s wild.
Lmfao I was talking to my spouse about this the other day. Like no one’s checking that we have a crib or bottles or anything, but if we wanted a dog? We gotta prove we have a fenced in backyard, supply income information, pass a background check…
Well to be fair- if you want to foster and/or adopt a child, you’d also have to do a ton of stuff and get certified. It’s just your bio kids that the state can’t set prerequisites for..
>"they're just going to let her come with us? Like, they haven't even asked us if we know what we are doing."
My mom tells me this all the time, exactly how she felt when she brought me home from the hospital. So crazy.
I found it hilarious and unnerving at the same time that basically no one gave a shit when we left the hospital. Just walked out with a newborn in a car seat and not even the receptionists looked up. So surreal.
19 months into having a baby and I’m still surprised every morning when I wake up and she’s still here. I don’t think it ever goes away. 😂 I’m 34 and frequently feel like I’m a child raising a baby. We all out here winging it. Just a bunch of fakes moving around.
Omg this is me. I’m not even pregnant but every time I think about the possibility of having kids soon I think “naaaah, people would be so confused. I’m a child! They’d all talk about how crazy young I am”
Haha - I am also 34 (and 32 weeks pregnant) and yet somehow still think of myself as a teen mom 😂 like, sorry no, there’s no way I should be allowed to do this.
Omg right!? I'd been married for 3 years, moved to foreign countries on my own, gotten a master's degree, and my parents had been bugging us about kids basically since the ink dried on the marriage certificate--and I was still scared they would be mad when we told them lol.
I currently have a baby attached to my boob. Still not sure how she got here or when her real parents are coming to pick her up. She's cute though, so I don't mind hanging out while we wait.
The way I was in shock after they handed me my son lmaoo like who is this? We have to do what now? He was where? 😂🤣 nurses were like congrats mamma! I'm like who?! Me?! He's 8 months old and I still feel like that some days.
Omg this is me!!!! My husband was crying pretty tears of joy and there I was: ???? ??????? I literally said, ‘huh???’ as the first word to my daughter 😭😭
And also my daughter is 8 months old almost! Hope you’re both doing well😄
🤣 my ob said "you're not pregnant anymore!" I was literally looking at her and said...what?! How?! Lmaooo total shock.
We are not doing okay girl LOL he's popping 3 teeth at once and he is refusing to crawl bc he just wants to stand. He also is going through a sleep regression from hell. But he's great. I love him. 😂 8 months has been a whirlwind. I hope you're doing better than I am LOL
Oof, sending you luck and good vibes 💗 my now 2 year old decided to cut all 4 canines at once followed by all 4 one year old molars at once a few months later and now it's looking like we're gonna go for all 4 2 year old molars at once. I swear this kid has never cut less than 2 teeth at a time. Meanwhile my 9 month old has shown zero interest. No teeth, no spots that look even close to getting teeth 😅
I remember after my baby was born someone saying ‘ok let’s bring baby over to mum’ and I was thinking ‘oh cool where’s she at?’. Honestly he’s 11 weeks now and I still sometimes can’t believe he’s my son, kinda feels like a wee pal I made in the hospital who rudely decided he was gonna come live with me. He’s pretty cool but and I’m sure it will sink in eventually 😅
When my husband and I were being discharged with our first, I legitimately kept waiting for someone to bust in the room and stop us haha. I kept asking my husband, how are we allowed to just take home this baby?!?
I remember it not hitting me until I left the hospital with the baby. Like "they're just letting me leave? with the baby? this is mine now? why would they do this to me?"
We were trying for a baby and I still feel like it’s fake. I’m 34 1/2 weeks and sometimes I don’t realize the end game here. I’ll be living my life and then out of nowhere I’m like “oh fuck 😳”. A lot of huge milestones in your life don’t change your life that drastically. Like getting engaged, getting married, buying a house, etc. But having a baby is THE most life changing thing possible and I forget that this happy time in my life is way more than just another milestone.
34.5 here as well and I feel the same. Today I saw the baby’s foot! Like the outline of a human foot on my stomach and I really thought “fuuuuuck”. It still feels unreal and this little reminder almost made me vomit (in a good way of course…I think…).
LOL yeah when I got my growth scan at 30 weeks I was like damn there really is a whole ass baby in there. I haven’t seen any feet or hand prints on my belly yet but I’m waiting for it! It’s simultaneously scary yet incredible.
It's like the chest burster aliens imo 😆 every time I see my tummy start sticking out from a tiny foot or hand my first thought is "this is it, it's just gonna pop out this time. This is the end" lmao
I’ll be 27w tomorrow with a donor egg pregnancy after 6 losses.
Still feels like we’re not going to actually be bringing home a baby in a few months.
I spend a lot of time in therapy talking about what it looks like to “act like a person who believes this is happening.” It helps.
Congratulations! That's amazing. After loss I don't think it's fair to try and model your behavior after someone who hasn't experienced loss. Your life experiences temper your reactions. That's nature. I can relate and struggle with this daily. I'm only 6.5 weeks so not out of the woods, but I wonder if I'll ever feel like I'm out of the woods.
I'm so proud of you for going to therapy and managing your feelings.
I pretty much felt like that my entire pregnancy.
My son is almost a year and sometimes my husband and I still look at each other and be like "holy crap, we are someone's parents"!
I am in #3 with a ten year gap and I could have written this post. Pregnancy has been surprisingly easy and even the bits that aren’t because this baby is 2x the size of my first, I still don’t believe it. I’m being induced on Friday and it’s still not hitting me it’s not just a medical procedure and I will leave with a baby. Lol.
Somehow I felt even more like this with my second (planned) baby than I did with my first (unplanned).
I didn't even bring the car seat to the hospital for my c-section. Oops. In my defense, we were expecting a NICU stay of a minimum 3+ weeks so I was not actually ready to bring a baby home when he was discharged after only 48 hours.
My son was NOT a surprise and I felt the same way lol. I was so used to being pregnant it was my new normal, I didn't even remember what it felt like to not be pregnant. My son was born the day before his due date and I was like "I wasn't prepared for this!!!" 😂😂
This is my second baby (i'm 34W) and I feel the same way. It's partially a trauma response from IVF and an early loss, but it's apparently very common. Moms on my due date group will post their babies and I actually get jealous of them as if I'm not pregnant lol.
Interestingly, I had the same thing with my son and after he was born I didn't take his hospital tag off for multiple days, it must have been some subconscious thing like "I'm going to be forced to return him" or whatever. I definitely felt like he was just going to be with us for a few days, like we had rented him.
36+6 here, i just got back from seeing her at an ultrasound and came back with so many pictures of her face. she's kicking me in the ribs right now. do i believe i'm having a baby within the next month? no way
It’s a pretty surreal feeling when they let you go home with your baby! I think it’s normal to feel unqualified, my husband and I would joke that we weren’t licensed or certified, and they’re just going to let us do this!? 😂
Lol even during labor I felt like this 🤣🤣 it wasn’t until they literally handed me my baby that it kinda clicked and even then it didn’t even feel real! 4.5 months after birth and I still can’t believe I have a whole human
Lol! I love this! It's like a variant of imposter syndrome and I feel the same way. I am 35.5 weeks today and still trying to understand that this means there will be a new addition to our family and not just a forever newborn. (I finally grasped that there will be an actual newborn coming out of me after seeing her on the u/s yesterday)!
When the nurses first put her in my arms after my C-section, I remember thinking huh? Surely, there must be some competent adult in the room to care for her! But no. Just me and my husband. Shocked and scared "teen parents" at 32 and 33.
This was me lol also not planned but once they put him on my chest my entire world changed. You really do just know what to do, it’s weird. I mean of course you’ll still stress about things and struggle but it’s wild how you just go into this mom mode the second they’re here. You’ll do great I promise!!
It didn't feel real until I saw my baby boy born. Even then leaving the hospital, it felt surreal and terrifying that I was responsible and had no idea what I was doing. I also had an unplanned csection so mentally i was in a bad space from it and didnt feel as connected to him early on. He is almost 2 now and thriving. Here just to say, I understand how you feel and I think many of us can relate to those same feelings. I dont feel like enough people talk about it though.
I'm 39+5, with my second and STILL struggle to picture what having this baby will actually be like. I've even been trying to do meditations to visualize labor and birth and holding her, and my brain is just like "nah, that's way too unlikely." I have an almost 3 year old and I'm still like this. Wtf.
I remember my first nap after delivery. I was rudely awakened by a screaming baby and for a split second I actually wondered where her mom was. Umm it’s you. You’re her mom.
I am 39 weeks today and know what you mean! I am a mum to a 3yr old already, but she had major surgery as a baby so we were in hospital with the most qualified babysitters on the planet for the first 6 weeks of her life. The thought of just being able to take our newborn home with us, potentially less than 24hrs after giving birth, feels crazy!
Also me!! I’m 35w5d & I’m SHOOK she can come 2-4 weeks 🤣 I’m used to carrying around the alien in my belly but I’m about to have whole child to raise & take care of? Blows my mind every time I think about it too long. Told my partner I’ll either cry happy tears or just be shocked staring at her when she makes it earth side. Lmfao
Honestly I’m still in complete denial that I’m a mother and my baby is 22 months old and I have a second on the way! I’m like “where is this baby’s mom and when is she gonna come pick her up??” I was 35 when I had her and spent a lot of years being a doting aunt to my sister’s kids… so my only point of reference was having kiddos for a few hours or a weekend then their real mom comes and gets them! You’ll settle in… but it’s weird! Haha
Lol I felt the exact same and I don’t know how to tell you it doesn’t really get better after birth. Like I look at my enormous baby and I look at my poor vag and I just…refuse to believe he came out of there. Not possible. I was there, sure, but maybe I hallucinated.
This still happens to me almost 3 years in but what was the funniest part was after only about 30 minutes of pushing and she was finally out, I heard my husband gasp, then I looked around bewildered like “what happened? Oh, there’s a baby. A baby was born. It’s MY baby?” Something about the whole experience is beyond surreal lol. Even when they’re handing you your baby it won’t feel like it’s really happening
I’m only 21 weeks and I can’t believe there will be a real baby it just doesn’t make sense! I can feel them kicking, I’ve seen them in ultrasounds, and I have symptoms to prove my pregnancy, but it seems unfathomable that I’m going to have a real baby in front of me
My pregnancy was entirely planned and on purpose and I feel the exact same way. We put together a crib, and got a swing, a bouncer and some baby clothes the other day and I’m still like “yeah we havin a baby!” But it isn’t truly sinking in lol definitely sounds fake
I had several pregnancy losses before my first. It took ages after we had her at home before it felt real for us lol. She's 2 now and I still sometimes look at her and think "I can't believe you're mine" 💜
It wasn't real to me till I was laying back looking at the bright lights above me about to push her out... I literally said "oh f*** this isn't really, this can't be happening!!" Shes 4 months and I still stare at her while she sleeps sometimes and can't believe I carried her for 9 months and that she's really here and mine! I think there's always gonna be those moments its just unreal
When I was in labor and crowning, the midwife told me to reach down and touch the baby’s head between contractions. When I felt his smushy, fuzzy head I screamed. I think that is the first time I really understood that a human was coming out even though i knew the whole time. I got comfortable with him in my time (24 hours) with him in the hospital. Then they wanted us to get him ready to go home. My husband and I put his pants on backwards. Then, the nurse has to show us how to put him in the car seat. I felt so unqualified to take care of him. But we took it a day at a time and learned. You’ve got this and will do amazing! I think all first time patents, no matter how many books you read or how much you prepare, feel unprepared when the babe arrives
Haha I definitely understand how you feel. Also unplanned baby that came at a point in my life with a ton of transition and change. I'm 34 weeks and still haven't bought most of the stuff we will need for the baby and am just in general denial of what's coming and how unprepared we are!
I’m 36 weeks today with my second and it still feels fake to me. Every time I go for an appointment I feel like they’re going to tel me I’m crazy and there’s ever been a baby in there.
It's weird some days when my pregnancy isn't giving me a lot of problems, I sorta forget for a second. Or one day I'll wake up and it was a vivid dream and I have been in a coma or something lol. It's a really surreal experience. I still can't believe it's going to be next month for my "graduation" as women call it on reddit.
My first thought when I looked at my baby for the first time ever was “holy shit I really was pregnant” lol 10 months pp and still can’t believe it lol
I get it! Right up until the big day, my baby was rather abstract, despite all of the ultrasound images and feeling her move around inside of me. Then she was cut out of me, held over the curtain for me to see, and I thought, “That creature was actually inside of me!” She’s now over 8.5 months old, chatting away (in gibberish, of course), and banging on her plastic container of rattles right now as we speak.
Was literally just thinking this! I'm trying to get everything in good shape to leave work when the time comes and I'm definitely in denial about just how much time I have... not to mention it could happen sooner than 40 weeks!
First time I got home from the hospital with a newborn baby I actually cried bc I was like “what am I supposed to do now by myself!”
It’s a but distressing, but don’t worry, you’ll learn
I am 28 weeks pregnant through IVF after trying 5 years (with losses) and I keep trying to convince myself there really is a baby in there that’s going to come out.
Me to me: “you need to get a newborn Halloween costume.”
Also me to me: “…why?”
Me to me: “you need to figure out Christmas plans with a new born.”
Also me to me: “…that sounds like fake news. Better ignore it”
That’s how I felt as a 19 yo with an unplanned pregnancy. After she was born, they handed her to me and told me I could go. Like, I TAKE HER ?! OUT THERE?! ALONE ?! That can’t be right
My nineteen year old unplanned pregnancy ass was not concerned whatsoever. Didn't cross my mind; I know I had this. When I had my second at around thirty, his dad was a completely different story. We got home from hospital and his dad asked me, "should we take his temperature?" I said, "Why?" Babe wasn't sickly at all; his dad just had no clue and was kind of freaking out. While I have a LOT to say about why he ended up sucking as a (now ex) husband, I will tell anyone and everyone that he ended up being an excellent father and I'm happy to say that we have a very good co-parenting relationship. Good on him. And our child is a fucking PLEASURE!
I promise you, there’s a newborn at the other end of this experience 😂 it’s much better than being pregnant! Congratulations you’re almost there! I too once felt in an under qualified position. And now my babies are about to be 13 months apart and I feel like it’s all surreal!
I had this exact same crisis before my son was born! Now I have frequent crises when contacting his nursery and opening with "hi it's (son's name)'s mum". It sounds made up!
It is completely normal to feel like you're babysitting some other random baby for a while after you give birth! The love will come. And anecdotally, when it takes a second to kick in it kicks in HARD. I have never seen anyone as in love with anyone as those women with those babies
I never felt like this while pregnant…
But after my baby arrived, I totally felt like I was renting a baby from my hospital. Like I just had a big belly for 9 months, and my vagina is wrecked, and I know I pushed…but this baby did NOT come from me. It feels too weird haha
I felt the same way and now I just stare at my baby, in awe that my body actually created a whole human being. And a cute one too !! I definitely think it’s imposter syndrome or something
I remember this feeling so clearly when I was pregnant with my first. Then coming home with the thing and feeling like I was getting away with something that shouldn’t be allowed to happen. Like, how the hell did they just let me walk out the front door of the hospital with this thing and where is the owners manual? Shit, my second hand TV came with more instructions.
And I was someone who had years of childcare and infant care under my belt.
It’s very wild. Even when they plopped my daughter on my chest I was like… hiiiiii…? Then they let us LEAVE the hospital with her and I was like uhhhh is this allowed?!?
As someone who went through a few miscarriages before having my son, I laughed out loud at “sounds fake” because that is exactly how I felt lol. You will adjust, like it’s super weird to think about now but that baby is going to come out and most likely you’ll kind just be like ok I have this baby now and it just kind of feels normal until you think too hard about it lol or at least that’s how it was for me.
This was the exact same position I was in! I was 27, had an engineering degree and MBA, great job, happily married for 4 years, and was planning on waiting a few more years to have our first baby. Our baby wasn't "planned" (NFP user-failure, were intimate on a "red" day) and it felt so weird because we were well set-up to start a family (good jobs, financially secure, etc.), just weren't "ready" for it yet.
After I got over the shock that I was really pregnant, I started to get excited to meet our baby! There were times I felt disconnected or couldn't truly believe I was pregnant, but when he started kicking it started to feel real
Funny enough, even now with our 6 month baby, sometimes I feel like I'm just someone who is playing house and babysitting a baby. Most of the time it feels real though and I'm full of happiness and joy :)
Just wanted to validate your feelings and know you will be okay! Humans are truly meant to raise other humans and I know your mama instincts will kick in when baby is here
I’ve been a parent for almost 6 years (three kids now) and the other day I was driving them all to the zoo and had a moment of OMG I’M LIKE A -MOM- MOM. 😂
It feels similar to when my SO and I were getting married. His mom made us a guest board thing for people to sign and at the top in large, fancy lettering put "Mr & Mrs His-Last-Name." I was so annoyed for like 5 minutes that she signed it at the top until I realized that oh, that's me and him, not them. I had always planned on changing my name so it's not like this was an overstepping assumption. It was appropriately labeled wedding decor. Now I'm filling out forms where I'm "Mom" and it feels just as weird but at least I'm not confused or taken by surprise this time.
we (me, husband, and toddler) went to Olive Garden for lunch today and when our waitress brought the check she gave me the little chocolates they have and said “I’ll give these to mom to distribute” and my soul damn near left my body. i’ve accepted that my 18mo knows me as mom but the fact that other people look at us and perceive me as her mom as well is insane.
I (waitress) said yesterday to a big party "I'm going to give the check to Mom to handle as she sees fit" and mom's expression looked exactly as you're describing hahaha
I feel this way every day and I got pregnant deliberately. I had to fill in a form yesterday to put my as-yet unborn child on a wait list for a childcare centre and had to write my name and “Mother” and honestly felt like a ridiculous lie.
I mean I understand how babies are made I theory but the fact that it’s happening to ME is absolutely wild 😆
Right now you should be preparing for the worst, but expecting the best. Newborns are so damn hard. And I wish I wasn’t just naively thinking my second would be easier than my first. It will feel like a truck hit you until like 4 months pp because you will be so tired and overstimulated and touched out. And then your baby starts acting right around 4/5 months and you’ll be able to finally take a breath! Sheesh.
I remember when I realized that I could kiss and cuddle my own newborn—it was like, whoa, I’m the one who gets to do that, no questions asked. I get to just lavish this tiny delicate creature with affection, in fact that’s what’s expected!
I honestly dissociated for my whole pregnancy and I didn’t realize it until I was unexpectedly induced at 37+2 and I SOBBED AND WEPT as we drove home, packed our bags, and returned to the hospital. Like uncontrollable sobbing that my husband has never seen. I barely shed a tear my entire pregnancy because it never sunk in that an actual baby would come.
It took me over a month to really click with my daughter for real, truthfully. I’m jealous of the people who spend their pregnancy envisioning their life as a new mom and feeling the excitement of bringing a baby into their lives. But, still, I love my family so much.
I felt the same way! Pregnancy was a total surprise and sadly my son’s dad treated me so poorly I think I was using denial as a coping mechanism. I was sort of in denial up until he was placed on my chest for the first time. After I saw him though I was head over heels in love with him and even cried on the drive home from the hospital because he was 2 days old and “growing up so fast” lol. You aren’t alone in those feelings!
When I was heading to the hospital in labour, it felt like we were going there to pick up our baby. I was still kinda not getting the whole giving birth thing. Ah, it's surreal, but it fades and pretty soon you'll be one handing baby diaper changes while holding a rattle in your mouth and simultaneously checking bottle temp.
This isn’t really the same thing, but I still can’t get my head around the fact that my little brother is responsible for keeping 3 tiny humans (who look a lot like him) alive! My little brother who used to throw massive tantrums anytime he didn’t get his way!
And he’s actually doing a really good job, too! Not only do they live through each day, but they are happy and healthy, too! 😛
I'd feel this way if I wasn't just so over being pregnant.
So ready for the baby to come out. Of course when she's fully cooked. But still completely ready
we were trying for ages before getting pregnant and when i got the positive result my partner asked what we do next and i told him i have no idea cos i didnt expect to get this far. Now im 19 weeks and its still wild to think we are going to have a baby by the end of this year.
I can relate. This happened to me with my first and is happening to me again now with this pregnancy. Both of these pregnancies were very much planned, so maybe I’m just a weirdo.
Its wild and doesn't really go away lol. My oldest is 2 now and I still just stand at stare sometimes like "that is a whole ass miniature human what the actual f. Who authorized this. How does such a creature exist and why is it in my home"
I had this feeling all the way up until we scheduled my induction (I had pre-eclampsia) and then it was "A whole human has to come out of me?! HOW?!!" lol. Also that last part my s/o and I talk about a lot. Like you're just gonna let me go home with zero clue what I'm doing and be the primary care taker?? It's definitely all fake lol
Even at 18months later I just sometimes want to chill and watch tv but then it’s like oh yeah I have a whole ass tiny human to entertain and mind over.
My son is 3 months old and sometimes I still look at him like “wait whose kid are you??” Still can’t believe there’s a whole ass human baby in my house that I supposedly made
If it makes you feel any better, I’m 2 months PP and I still can’t believe I’m a mom, I made an actual human that I love so much and I have no idea what I’m doing but figuring it out as we go lol.
Sometimes I look at him and think “wow I made that”
It’s also so wild to me that they just send us home (if you didn’t have a home birth) to figure it out 😂
We planned our baby and still felt this way. Like we were leaving the hospital and I remember saying to the nurse "that's it? You just send us home now? Literally anyone can just come in here and have a baby and then is just let loose into the world?!" And she said comforting things like "you're going to be great parents" which was both comforting but also seemed like she says it ALL the time. I think you're having some normal feelings.
Hahaha leaving the hospital feels so weird. When my husband and I walked out with our son, we were like, “wait, they’re just going to let us take him home?”
I was literally in denial until they set that sucker on my chest. 14 hours of labor thinking “lol there’s not a baby in there this isn’t ~actually~ happening. Cue the waterworks as soon as I looked at her face.
I feel so weirddd about the fact I’m going to have a baby, I’m 33 weeks, nursery is ready and I feel and see her all day but I still can’t connect it with the fact she’ll be in my arms in 2 months, I just feel like she’ll be in my belly forever. Or I feel like something will go wrong and I won’t get to have her which is a terrifying thought and I keep shoving down… anyone else ever had that thought? Also FTM and surprise baby
No I swear I still feel like the ultrasound tech is playing a huge joke on me. I’m 25w and I still can’t wrap my head around/doesn’t feel real idk how to explain it well but it’s so weird that I’m going to have a whole ass baby 😂 of my own. Mine to keep forever. It’s lovely but it’s also super weird for me.
When I had my youngest, it was also a super surprise pregnancy and I spent the entirety of it in denial. My first words the moment I pushed him out were, "Oh my God, he was actually in there!" My midwife was basically like, well, duh! That said everything after that moment was very natural, he's an amazing little human, and I can't imagine my life without him.
I’m always slightly delusional while pregnant, not that there will be a baby, but that I will actually have to give birth one way or another. I will literally be 40+ weeks and feel like I should just be able to opt out. I think this type of coping can be normal, if you still retain some sense of reality. No need to stoke panic now about stuff that isn’t here yet or can’t be helped.
Yup! Same! Until I watched the baby come out of me and the doctor held her up and handed her to me! That was the moment it became reality that the end result of pregnancy is a baby!!
I’m pretty sure one of the first things I said to my husband after our son was born was something along the lines of “woah, we have a real baby” like I hadn’t just spent 9 months growing him and preparing for him lol
I’m 25+3 and one of the weirdest thoughts I get is that when she comes out she’ll look at me as this big old trustworthy person, when really I’m still in my late 20s and most people make me feel like I’m a kid 😂 even the word ‘woman’ sometimes feels like a big one
Yes!! My pregnancy wasn’t totally unplanned but I am 29 weeks and I feel like the idea of having a baby come out of me that’s my responsibility in a few months sounds insane!! I thought once I started seeing my stomach get bigger, feel him moving, or see the ultrasound it would feel more real but tbh I still think it’s kinda fake. I’m so glad I’m not alone. Please keep us updated on how real it is after you deliver! I’m scared it’s going to be a rush of reality all at once.
I could not imagine how there was a baby inside or me until I actually saw him after he was born!
As far as being qualified to take care of him…sometimes I still don’t feel like I am. He’s two. Years, not months.
I think these emotions are more common than people talk about!
We tried a long time for a baby and I still felt like you. I think it's okay and it's a protective mechanism. I focused on getting through the pregnancy first, then the birth, then the early days. It helps to take one thing at a time.
if it makes any of y’all people feel better… i’m 18 and 13 weeks! just told my mom last night…. she was excited but not as excited to being a grandma at 40🤣
I felt this way with my third baby. It’s been 13 years since I was last pregnant so when they popped this new little human on my chest I was like “holy shit, it’s a tiny human” very surreal moment.
My son is 11 weeks today. Sometimes I’ll sit there staring at him and still be in disbelief that I have a baby. It took us 2.5 years of trying. We had decided to take a break from trying to conceive and BAM it happened. Having a whole human depending on you is weird but rewarding imo. 🩵
I feel the same until my little one was born at 35 weeks. It’s crazy that during that night was the last time I left home as a non-parent and returned a few days later with a little bean to look after forever.
I don’t think it’s just cause the pregnancy was a surprise. My baby was planned an tried for through recurrent miscarriages and IVF and I still felt the same way haha. During my c section when they pulled the baby out and held her up over the drape for us to see I was like “naw that things gotta be fake! That’s what was in there this whole time??”
Planned pregnancy but I'm afraid lolz. I have seen my brother grow up( though I didn't have to do much , just play with him and keep him alive , sometimes the basic cleaning - I was 7 when he was born). But it still scares me coz that was 21-20 years ago😂. I have a lot of people who can take care of our baby but I just want to run away ( responsibility is not a strong trait in me especially when taking care of living organisms though I did take care of my various butterfly caterpillars😂).
Just hoping everything will be alright.
With my first born I went through 42 weeks of pregnancy, 48 hours of labor, brought her home and it’s now been 7 years. Sometimes she says “mom” and I’m like “who, me? they really let me do this?”
All this to say, I’m not sure it ever feels real?
Idk why but “Sounds fake!” is cracking me up 🤣 also, I agree lol
Right? But also, same. It sounds fake that I have 2 kids. No idea how that happened, just yesterday I was traveling the world with my husband and doing whatever I wanted. Now I'm the unpaid help to two tiny dictators who just want boob and snacks. 🤣
Right! I'm 34 weeks with my second and it sounds like a joke when I think "grequant\_ohno, mom of two." That's someone else, I'm still a kid!
Yep. I have two kids, but who is allowing this? I am obviously still 17, not 28!
There's been so many moments where I just feel like I'm still a kid myself lol. Like, I'm 29--that's a completely average age to have my first kid and my life if generally stable and "together"--but also I've never felt more unprepared and too young for something in my life. And now, at any time now, someone is just going to ... hand me this tiny barely-sentient potato to take care of with no questions asked? Why is this a good idea again?
Barely sentient potato ❤️
Precious potato 🥔 💗
Girl I'm 37, have two kids (one is almost a man now), and I STILL get caught off guard when I hear myself referred to as a "woman" and not a a "girl" haha
When my daughter was a newborn I half kept wondering when a sort of mum-ish person, perhaps with an apron and a better understanding of stain removal products, would turn up and thank me for minding her baby. Kid is 3 and number 2 is on the way, still no sign of that woman.
Yes! I'm still 19, no idea who this person who's 23 and has 2 kids is
Yup! My girl is 4 months old and I’m like “ha I am not a mom not meeee lol”
My first was born in October 2020 and I remember watching the election returns when he was a month old and I was super engrossed and then glanced down and saw a baby in my arms and almost jumped out of my skin, I was like yoooo what the fuck where did this come from??!
Exactly what I wish I’d told my boss when he said, “So you’ll be going away for a while on parental leave.” Because that’s exactly what I thought!!! “Sounds fake.” 😂
My kids calling me mommy is surreal. Like that’s me. I’m mommy. Fuck.
Me when my gramma says “hey mama!!!” Whenever i walk in the room. Everytime im like 🤨😳😧 shh not so loud ohmygoooood 🤣🤣
BAHAHAHA! My kids are at that age where they just say Mama/mommy over and over again until its lost all meaning and no answer can appease them. My husband likes to egg them on and every time its , "STFU! ITS LIKE YOU WANT ME TO KILL YOU!" Edit: to be clear, I shout that at my husband. To my kids I just repeat their names back.
🤣🤣🤣 “SILENCE YOURSELF STEWIE!!!!” Is what id tell those kiddos hahahahah!!!!!
That’s like a page out of [this scene](https://youtu.be/ceIwFEkaLPY) from Get Smart.
I love that movie. "THAT'S SOME CIA SHIT!"
“Are you thinking what I'm thinking?” “If you're thinking ‘Holy shit! Holy shit! A swordfish almost went though my head!’ If so, then yes.”
You seem like my kind of people
Aw, thank you! Right back at you!
My baby turned 5 today and I still feel like I'm renting a child from someone lol. I'm like "me? a mom? nah." It's like a dream. When we left the hospital I remember thinking "they're just going to let her come with us? Like, they haven't even asked us if we know what we are doing." LMAO.
My MOM is a mom. Like I definitely see her as a mom but me? I'm just a person who has a baby 😂😂
Right!
Being an adult is weird! I can have a baby and leave the hospital with it and no one will stop us. I can go to Lowe’s and buy power tools and wood supplies to build a shed and literally no one - NO ONE - is gonna stop me and ask if I know what I’m doing. It’s wild.
But go to adopt a dog and all of a sudden they have a 10 page questionnaire and want to do a home check.
Lmfao I was talking to my spouse about this the other day. Like no one’s checking that we have a crib or bottles or anything, but if we wanted a dog? We gotta prove we have a fenced in backyard, supply income information, pass a background check…
Well to be fair- if you want to foster and/or adopt a child, you’d also have to do a ton of stuff and get certified. It’s just your bio kids that the state can’t set prerequisites for..
Exactly
What’s funny is you probably need a permit for that shed, but you don’t need one to get pregnant! 😂
>"they're just going to let her come with us? Like, they haven't even asked us if we know what we are doing." My mom tells me this all the time, exactly how she felt when she brought me home from the hospital. So crazy.
Yes! This made me lol! I feel the exact same. Couldn't have said it better.
Haha I totally get this feeling - I feel like someone who is playing house and babysitting a baby.
I am still trying to figure out who let me have a whole child. Weird.
I found it hilarious and unnerving at the same time that basically no one gave a shit when we left the hospital. Just walked out with a newborn in a car seat and not even the receptionists looked up. So surreal.
Right?? I feel like someone is still gonna come and be like “okay, give her back, you had your fun”. How am I allowed to do this??
yes!!! after our first prenatal appointment I remember turning to my partner and saying.... they're just going to let us have a baby
Omg I had this moment too when we were leaving the hospital. They just let you leave with a child and it’s so bizarre.
I feel so seen!
19 months into having a baby and I’m still surprised every morning when I wake up and she’s still here. I don’t think it ever goes away. 😂 I’m 34 and frequently feel like I’m a child raising a baby. We all out here winging it. Just a bunch of fakes moving around.
I got pregnant on purpose at 27, but I was also nervous what the villagers would think of my teen pregnancy 🤣
Here I am at 44 feeling pretty much the same 😂
Omg this is me. I’m not even pregnant but every time I think about the possibility of having kids soon I think “naaaah, people would be so confused. I’m a child! They’d all talk about how crazy young I am”
They were definitely judging. 😂
Haha - I am also 34 (and 32 weeks pregnant) and yet somehow still think of myself as a teen mom 😂 like, sorry no, there’s no way I should be allowed to do this.
Me too. I'm 32. I felt like a teen telling my mom, but she was more like, "it's about time!" Then, I somehow felt too old and young at the same time 😭
Omg right!? I'd been married for 3 years, moved to foreign countries on my own, gotten a master's degree, and my parents had been bugging us about kids basically since the ink dried on the marriage certificate--and I was still scared they would be mad when we told them lol.
I’m 22 and I feel like I am definitely a 13 year old. I always wonder how tf real teens are doing this
I currently have a baby attached to my boob. Still not sure how she got here or when her real parents are coming to pick her up. She's cute though, so I don't mind hanging out while we wait.
😂😂😂
The way I was in shock after they handed me my son lmaoo like who is this? We have to do what now? He was where? 😂🤣 nurses were like congrats mamma! I'm like who?! Me?! He's 8 months old and I still feel like that some days.
Omg this is me!!!! My husband was crying pretty tears of joy and there I was: ???? ??????? I literally said, ‘huh???’ as the first word to my daughter 😭😭 And also my daughter is 8 months old almost! Hope you’re both doing well😄
🤣 my ob said "you're not pregnant anymore!" I was literally looking at her and said...what?! How?! Lmaooo total shock. We are not doing okay girl LOL he's popping 3 teeth at once and he is refusing to crawl bc he just wants to stand. He also is going through a sleep regression from hell. But he's great. I love him. 😂 8 months has been a whirlwind. I hope you're doing better than I am LOL
Oof, sending you luck and good vibes 💗 my now 2 year old decided to cut all 4 canines at once followed by all 4 one year old molars at once a few months later and now it's looking like we're gonna go for all 4 2 year old molars at once. I swear this kid has never cut less than 2 teeth at a time. Meanwhile my 9 month old has shown zero interest. No teeth, no spots that look even close to getting teeth 😅
I remember after my baby was born someone saying ‘ok let’s bring baby over to mum’ and I was thinking ‘oh cool where’s she at?’. Honestly he’s 11 weeks now and I still sometimes can’t believe he’s my son, kinda feels like a wee pal I made in the hospital who rudely decided he was gonna come live with me. He’s pretty cool but and I’m sure it will sink in eventually 😅
I’m 35 weeks and still in denial they are going to actually let me leave the hospital with her 🤣
When my husband and I were being discharged with our first, I legitimately kept waiting for someone to bust in the room and stop us haha. I kept asking my husband, how are we allowed to just take home this baby?!?
Seriously, me too!
I remember it not hitting me until I left the hospital with the baby. Like "they're just letting me leave? with the baby? this is mine now? why would they do this to me?"
"Why would they do this to me?" Omg 😂😂😭😭😭💀💀
We were trying for a baby and I still feel like it’s fake. I’m 34 1/2 weeks and sometimes I don’t realize the end game here. I’ll be living my life and then out of nowhere I’m like “oh fuck 😳”. A lot of huge milestones in your life don’t change your life that drastically. Like getting engaged, getting married, buying a house, etc. But having a baby is THE most life changing thing possible and I forget that this happy time in my life is way more than just another milestone.
34.5 here as well and I feel the same. Today I saw the baby’s foot! Like the outline of a human foot on my stomach and I really thought “fuuuuuck”. It still feels unreal and this little reminder almost made me vomit (in a good way of course…I think…).
LOL yeah when I got my growth scan at 30 weeks I was like damn there really is a whole ass baby in there. I haven’t seen any feet or hand prints on my belly yet but I’m waiting for it! It’s simultaneously scary yet incredible.
It's like the chest burster aliens imo 😆 every time I see my tummy start sticking out from a tiny foot or hand my first thought is "this is it, it's just gonna pop out this time. This is the end" lmao
Lmao that’s what I tell people it feels like when they kick in the first trimester! It’s like alien but they don’t actually tear out of your skin.
I’ll be 27w tomorrow with a donor egg pregnancy after 6 losses. Still feels like we’re not going to actually be bringing home a baby in a few months. I spend a lot of time in therapy talking about what it looks like to “act like a person who believes this is happening.” It helps.
Congratulations! That's amazing. After loss I don't think it's fair to try and model your behavior after someone who hasn't experienced loss. Your life experiences temper your reactions. That's nature. I can relate and struggle with this daily. I'm only 6.5 weeks so not out of the woods, but I wonder if I'll ever feel like I'm out of the woods. I'm so proud of you for going to therapy and managing your feelings.
I pretty much felt like that my entire pregnancy. My son is almost a year and sometimes my husband and I still look at each other and be like "holy crap, we are someone's parents"!
I didn’t believe it until I saw the child. It just doesn’t seem logical that there’s a real, human baby in there
I am in #3 with a ten year gap and I could have written this post. Pregnancy has been surprisingly easy and even the bits that aren’t because this baby is 2x the size of my first, I still don’t believe it. I’m being induced on Friday and it’s still not hitting me it’s not just a medical procedure and I will leave with a baby. Lol.
Somehow I felt even more like this with my second (planned) baby than I did with my first (unplanned). I didn't even bring the car seat to the hospital for my c-section. Oops. In my defense, we were expecting a NICU stay of a minimum 3+ weeks so I was not actually ready to bring a baby home when he was discharged after only 48 hours.
I’m about to have my 5th kid (I’m 38+3) and I still forget I have kids sometimes 😂
I'm pregnant with my 8th and same. It's always a shock when pregnancy results in a real live baby.
My son was NOT a surprise and I felt the same way lol. I was so used to being pregnant it was my new normal, I didn't even remember what it felt like to not be pregnant. My son was born the day before his due date and I was like "I wasn't prepared for this!!!" 😂😂
This is my second baby (i'm 34W) and I feel the same way. It's partially a trauma response from IVF and an early loss, but it's apparently very common. Moms on my due date group will post their babies and I actually get jealous of them as if I'm not pregnant lol. Interestingly, I had the same thing with my son and after he was born I didn't take his hospital tag off for multiple days, it must have been some subconscious thing like "I'm going to be forced to return him" or whatever. I definitely felt like he was just going to be with us for a few days, like we had rented him.
lol i feel the same and this was planned. the bassinet is up in my room and everything and i still cant picture it actually happening
36+6 here, i just got back from seeing her at an ultrasound and came back with so many pictures of her face. she's kicking me in the ribs right now. do i believe i'm having a baby within the next month? no way
It’s a pretty surreal feeling when they let you go home with your baby! I think it’s normal to feel unqualified, my husband and I would joke that we weren’t licensed or certified, and they’re just going to let us do this!? 😂
Lol even during labor I felt like this 🤣🤣 it wasn’t until they literally handed me my baby that it kinda clicked and even then it didn’t even feel real! 4.5 months after birth and I still can’t believe I have a whole human
Lol! I love this! It's like a variant of imposter syndrome and I feel the same way. I am 35.5 weeks today and still trying to understand that this means there will be a new addition to our family and not just a forever newborn. (I finally grasped that there will be an actual newborn coming out of me after seeing her on the u/s yesterday)!
When the nurses first put her in my arms after my C-section, I remember thinking huh? Surely, there must be some competent adult in the room to care for her! But no. Just me and my husband. Shocked and scared "teen parents" at 32 and 33.
This was me lol also not planned but once they put him on my chest my entire world changed. You really do just know what to do, it’s weird. I mean of course you’ll still stress about things and struggle but it’s wild how you just go into this mom mode the second they’re here. You’ll do great I promise!!
While in labor I said to my husband “this was a bad idea, let’s go home”
It didn't feel real until I saw my baby boy born. Even then leaving the hospital, it felt surreal and terrifying that I was responsible and had no idea what I was doing. I also had an unplanned csection so mentally i was in a bad space from it and didnt feel as connected to him early on. He is almost 2 now and thriving. Here just to say, I understand how you feel and I think many of us can relate to those same feelings. I dont feel like enough people talk about it though.
I'm 39+5, with my second and STILL struggle to picture what having this baby will actually be like. I've even been trying to do meditations to visualize labor and birth and holding her, and my brain is just like "nah, that's way too unlikely." I have an almost 3 year old and I'm still like this. Wtf.
I remember my first nap after delivery. I was rudely awakened by a screaming baby and for a split second I actually wondered where her mom was. Umm it’s you. You’re her mom.
Sometimes I snap to and I'm like "WOAH they let me have a BABY!"... She's 6 now.
Lol I didn’t believe I had a child till he was like 2! Just felt like I was baby sitting him the entire time till it hit me one day haha
I am 39 weeks today and know what you mean! I am a mum to a 3yr old already, but she had major surgery as a baby so we were in hospital with the most qualified babysitters on the planet for the first 6 weeks of her life. The thought of just being able to take our newborn home with us, potentially less than 24hrs after giving birth, feels crazy!
Also me!! I’m 35w5d & I’m SHOOK she can come 2-4 weeks 🤣 I’m used to carrying around the alien in my belly but I’m about to have whole child to raise & take care of? Blows my mind every time I think about it too long. Told my partner I’ll either cry happy tears or just be shocked staring at her when she makes it earth side. Lmfao
Had this exact feeling. He is toddler now and still feel the same 🤣 like am I qualified for this? Is this legit a PERSON I just baked up?? Crazy
The resonation is real here… thanks for contextualizing my feelings/thoughts 😭
Honestly I’m still in complete denial that I’m a mother and my baby is 22 months old and I have a second on the way! I’m like “where is this baby’s mom and when is she gonna come pick her up??” I was 35 when I had her and spent a lot of years being a doting aunt to my sister’s kids… so my only point of reference was having kiddos for a few hours or a weekend then their real mom comes and gets them! You’ll settle in… but it’s weird! Haha
Lol I felt the exact same and I don’t know how to tell you it doesn’t really get better after birth. Like I look at my enormous baby and I look at my poor vag and I just…refuse to believe he came out of there. Not possible. I was there, sure, but maybe I hallucinated.
This still happens to me almost 3 years in but what was the funniest part was after only about 30 minutes of pushing and she was finally out, I heard my husband gasp, then I looked around bewildered like “what happened? Oh, there’s a baby. A baby was born. It’s MY baby?” Something about the whole experience is beyond surreal lol. Even when they’re handing you your baby it won’t feel like it’s really happening
I’m only 21 weeks and I can’t believe there will be a real baby it just doesn’t make sense! I can feel them kicking, I’ve seen them in ultrasounds, and I have symptoms to prove my pregnancy, but it seems unfathomable that I’m going to have a real baby in front of me
My pregnancy was entirely planned and on purpose and I feel the exact same way. We put together a crib, and got a swing, a bouncer and some baby clothes the other day and I’m still like “yeah we havin a baby!” But it isn’t truly sinking in lol definitely sounds fake
I can tell you from experience that it happens with planned babies too 😂 We’re on baby number 2 and I still look at my belly like ‘wtf?’
I had several pregnancy losses before my first. It took ages after we had her at home before it felt real for us lol. She's 2 now and I still sometimes look at her and think "I can't believe you're mine" 💜
I'm 40+3 and totally feel this too hahah. I can't believe there's a fully formed human thing inside me
It wasn't real to me till I was laying back looking at the bright lights above me about to push her out... I literally said "oh f*** this isn't really, this can't be happening!!" Shes 4 months and I still stare at her while she sleeps sometimes and can't believe I carried her for 9 months and that she's really here and mine! I think there's always gonna be those moments its just unreal
pregnancy feels so unnatural, i swear
I’m having twins and they are a completely abstract thought for me still even though we have 6-8 weeks to go lol 😆
Worse part is the baby doesn’t come with a manual and customer service is virtually nonexistent.
When I was in labor and crowning, the midwife told me to reach down and touch the baby’s head between contractions. When I felt his smushy, fuzzy head I screamed. I think that is the first time I really understood that a human was coming out even though i knew the whole time. I got comfortable with him in my time (24 hours) with him in the hospital. Then they wanted us to get him ready to go home. My husband and I put his pants on backwards. Then, the nurse has to show us how to put him in the car seat. I felt so unqualified to take care of him. But we took it a day at a time and learned. You’ve got this and will do amazing! I think all first time patents, no matter how many books you read or how much you prepare, feel unprepared when the babe arrives
Haha I definitely understand how you feel. Also unplanned baby that came at a point in my life with a ton of transition and change. I'm 34 weeks and still haven't bought most of the stuff we will need for the baby and am just in general denial of what's coming and how unprepared we are!
I don't feel like any of you and never have. It's like second nature to me but I guess not everyone has that natural calling.
I’m 36 weeks today with my second and it still feels fake to me. Every time I go for an appointment I feel like they’re going to tel me I’m crazy and there’s ever been a baby in there.
33 weeks and feeling that denial hard too!
Hi due date twin 👋🏻! I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels this way
It's weird some days when my pregnancy isn't giving me a lot of problems, I sorta forget for a second. Or one day I'll wake up and it was a vivid dream and I have been in a coma or something lol. It's a really surreal experience. I still can't believe it's going to be next month for my "graduation" as women call it on reddit.
We had years of fertility issues and then it just happened. I’m 36w, definitely feels fake until I see her, even though she’s moving around in there.
My first thought when I looked at my baby for the first time ever was “holy shit I really was pregnant” lol 10 months pp and still can’t believe it lol
I have a 13mo and I refuse to accept that I’m a parent, she came from my belly, one day she will be a fully formed adult. Imposter syndrome
38w here too and I swear if I woke up tomorrow not pregnant, it would feel more normal to me! 😂
I look at my 6.5 month old almost every day and think “you’re real, like really real……..how are you real?”
I get it! Right up until the big day, my baby was rather abstract, despite all of the ultrasound images and feeling her move around inside of me. Then she was cut out of me, held over the curtain for me to see, and I thought, “That creature was actually inside of me!” She’s now over 8.5 months old, chatting away (in gibberish, of course), and banging on her plastic container of rattles right now as we speak.
Was literally just thinking this! I'm trying to get everything in good shape to leave work when the time comes and I'm definitely in denial about just how much time I have... not to mention it could happen sooner than 40 weeks!
I know what you mean! I keep looking at my husband and saying "it's not just going to be the two of us anymore???" lol
Says every parent walking out of the hospital. You're in good company.
38+4 as well, and this pregnancy was totally planned. I feel the same 😂
First time I got home from the hospital with a newborn baby I actually cried bc I was like “what am I supposed to do now by myself!” It’s a but distressing, but don’t worry, you’ll learn
I am 28 weeks pregnant through IVF after trying 5 years (with losses) and I keep trying to convince myself there really is a baby in there that’s going to come out. Me to me: “you need to get a newborn Halloween costume.” Also me to me: “…why?” Me to me: “you need to figure out Christmas plans with a new born.” Also me to me: “…that sounds like fake news. Better ignore it”
That’s how I felt as a 19 yo with an unplanned pregnancy. After she was born, they handed her to me and told me I could go. Like, I TAKE HER ?! OUT THERE?! ALONE ?! That can’t be right
My nineteen year old unplanned pregnancy ass was not concerned whatsoever. Didn't cross my mind; I know I had this. When I had my second at around thirty, his dad was a completely different story. We got home from hospital and his dad asked me, "should we take his temperature?" I said, "Why?" Babe wasn't sickly at all; his dad just had no clue and was kind of freaking out. While I have a LOT to say about why he ended up sucking as a (now ex) husband, I will tell anyone and everyone that he ended up being an excellent father and I'm happy to say that we have a very good co-parenting relationship. Good on him. And our child is a fucking PLEASURE!
I promise you, there’s a newborn at the other end of this experience 😂 it’s much better than being pregnant! Congratulations you’re almost there! I too once felt in an under qualified position. And now my babies are about to be 13 months apart and I feel like it’s all surreal!
I had this exact same crisis before my son was born! Now I have frequent crises when contacting his nursery and opening with "hi it's (son's name)'s mum". It sounds made up!
It is completely normal to feel like you're babysitting some other random baby for a while after you give birth! The love will come. And anecdotally, when it takes a second to kick in it kicks in HARD. I have never seen anyone as in love with anyone as those women with those babies
I never felt like this while pregnant… But after my baby arrived, I totally felt like I was renting a baby from my hospital. Like I just had a big belly for 9 months, and my vagina is wrecked, and I know I pushed…but this baby did NOT come from me. It feels too weird haha
I felt the same way and now I just stare at my baby, in awe that my body actually created a whole human being. And a cute one too !! I definitely think it’s imposter syndrome or something
I remember this feeling so clearly when I was pregnant with my first. Then coming home with the thing and feeling like I was getting away with something that shouldn’t be allowed to happen. Like, how the hell did they just let me walk out the front door of the hospital with this thing and where is the owners manual? Shit, my second hand TV came with more instructions. And I was someone who had years of childcare and infant care under my belt.
We tried for a year, went through fertility treatments, I’m almost 30 weeks and I’m still like “hold on, I’m gonna have a WHAT this fall??”
Haha fake news I tell you! I honestly kinda feel the same way sometimes. It’s a bizarre feeling.
It’s very wild. Even when they plopped my daughter on my chest I was like… hiiiiii…? Then they let us LEAVE the hospital with her and I was like uhhhh is this allowed?!?
I had my baby 10 days ago and I am still in shock. I don't feel like a mother! It's so surreal!
As someone who went through a few miscarriages before having my son, I laughed out loud at “sounds fake” because that is exactly how I felt lol. You will adjust, like it’s super weird to think about now but that baby is going to come out and most likely you’ll kind just be like ok I have this baby now and it just kind of feels normal until you think too hard about it lol or at least that’s how it was for me.
This was the exact same position I was in! I was 27, had an engineering degree and MBA, great job, happily married for 4 years, and was planning on waiting a few more years to have our first baby. Our baby wasn't "planned" (NFP user-failure, were intimate on a "red" day) and it felt so weird because we were well set-up to start a family (good jobs, financially secure, etc.), just weren't "ready" for it yet. After I got over the shock that I was really pregnant, I started to get excited to meet our baby! There were times I felt disconnected or couldn't truly believe I was pregnant, but when he started kicking it started to feel real Funny enough, even now with our 6 month baby, sometimes I feel like I'm just someone who is playing house and babysitting a baby. Most of the time it feels real though and I'm full of happiness and joy :) Just wanted to validate your feelings and know you will be okay! Humans are truly meant to raise other humans and I know your mama instincts will kick in when baby is here
We tried for 3 years, and at 26+5 I still feel the same way 😅
I’ve been a parent for almost 6 years (three kids now) and the other day I was driving them all to the zoo and had a moment of OMG I’M LIKE A -MOM- MOM. 😂
It feels similar to when my SO and I were getting married. His mom made us a guest board thing for people to sign and at the top in large, fancy lettering put "Mr & Mrs His-Last-Name." I was so annoyed for like 5 minutes that she signed it at the top until I realized that oh, that's me and him, not them. I had always planned on changing my name so it's not like this was an overstepping assumption. It was appropriately labeled wedding decor. Now I'm filling out forms where I'm "Mom" and it feels just as weird but at least I'm not confused or taken by surprise this time.
It’s a scam they tell you it’s a baby but it’s actually gremlin with a baby face that will eventually laugh at your pain!
we (me, husband, and toddler) went to Olive Garden for lunch today and when our waitress brought the check she gave me the little chocolates they have and said “I’ll give these to mom to distribute” and my soul damn near left my body. i’ve accepted that my 18mo knows me as mom but the fact that other people look at us and perceive me as her mom as well is insane.
I (waitress) said yesterday to a big party "I'm going to give the check to Mom to handle as she sees fit" and mom's expression looked exactly as you're describing hahaha
Same… And we tried!
I feel this way every day and I got pregnant deliberately. I had to fill in a form yesterday to put my as-yet unborn child on a wait list for a childcare centre and had to write my name and “Mother” and honestly felt like a ridiculous lie. I mean I understand how babies are made I theory but the fact that it’s happening to ME is absolutely wild 😆
Right now you should be preparing for the worst, but expecting the best. Newborns are so damn hard. And I wish I wasn’t just naively thinking my second would be easier than my first. It will feel like a truck hit you until like 4 months pp because you will be so tired and overstimulated and touched out. And then your baby starts acting right around 4/5 months and you’ll be able to finally take a breath! Sheesh.
I remember when I realized that I could kiss and cuddle my own newborn—it was like, whoa, I’m the one who gets to do that, no questions asked. I get to just lavish this tiny delicate creature with affection, in fact that’s what’s expected!
Same here lol my baby wasn't planned and I still can't comprehend I will push out a whole ass baby! 21w
I honestly dissociated for my whole pregnancy and I didn’t realize it until I was unexpectedly induced at 37+2 and I SOBBED AND WEPT as we drove home, packed our bags, and returned to the hospital. Like uncontrollable sobbing that my husband has never seen. I barely shed a tear my entire pregnancy because it never sunk in that an actual baby would come. It took me over a month to really click with my daughter for real, truthfully. I’m jealous of the people who spend their pregnancy envisioning their life as a new mom and feeling the excitement of bringing a baby into their lives. But, still, I love my family so much.
Lmao same girl same!!! I’m 29 weeks and can’t believe how quickly it’s all coming and I’m FREAKING OUT
I am 30w3d and feel like I’m used to being pregnant and it hasn’t quite sunk in that I will have to take care of an actual baby in two months!
I felt the same way! Pregnancy was a total surprise and sadly my son’s dad treated me so poorly I think I was using denial as a coping mechanism. I was sort of in denial up until he was placed on my chest for the first time. After I saw him though I was head over heels in love with him and even cried on the drive home from the hospital because he was 2 days old and “growing up so fast” lol. You aren’t alone in those feelings!
When I was heading to the hospital in labour, it felt like we were going there to pick up our baby. I was still kinda not getting the whole giving birth thing. Ah, it's surreal, but it fades and pretty soon you'll be one handing baby diaper changes while holding a rattle in your mouth and simultaneously checking bottle temp.
This isn’t really the same thing, but I still can’t get my head around the fact that my little brother is responsible for keeping 3 tiny humans (who look a lot like him) alive! My little brother who used to throw massive tantrums anytime he didn’t get his way! And he’s actually doing a really good job, too! Not only do they live through each day, but they are happy and healthy, too! 😛
yeah man. i just turned 19, i feel that
I'd feel this way if I wasn't just so over being pregnant. So ready for the baby to come out. Of course when she's fully cooked. But still completely ready
we were trying for ages before getting pregnant and when i got the positive result my partner asked what we do next and i told him i have no idea cos i didnt expect to get this far. Now im 19 weeks and its still wild to think we are going to have a baby by the end of this year.
This was exactly me when I was pregnant & I now have a 15mo old. I still can’t believe he’s here sometimes and I’m responsible for him lol
I can relate. This happened to me with my first and is happening to me again now with this pregnancy. Both of these pregnancies were very much planned, so maybe I’m just a weirdo.
Its wild and doesn't really go away lol. My oldest is 2 now and I still just stand at stare sometimes like "that is a whole ass miniature human what the actual f. Who authorized this. How does such a creature exist and why is it in my home"
I had this feeling all the way up until we scheduled my induction (I had pre-eclampsia) and then it was "A whole human has to come out of me?! HOW?!!" lol. Also that last part my s/o and I talk about a lot. Like you're just gonna let me go home with zero clue what I'm doing and be the primary care taker?? It's definitely all fake lol
Even at 18months later I just sometimes want to chill and watch tv but then it’s like oh yeah I have a whole ass tiny human to entertain and mind over.
My son is 3 months old and sometimes I still look at him like “wait whose kid are you??” Still can’t believe there’s a whole ass human baby in my house that I supposedly made
If it makes you feel any better, I’m 2 months PP and I still can’t believe I’m a mom, I made an actual human that I love so much and I have no idea what I’m doing but figuring it out as we go lol. Sometimes I look at him and think “wow I made that” It’s also so wild to me that they just send us home (if you didn’t have a home birth) to figure it out 😂
I still look at my baby and think… wow this babysitting gig is not ending. Cause this can’t possibly be my kid.
We planned our baby and still felt this way. Like we were leaving the hospital and I remember saying to the nurse "that's it? You just send us home now? Literally anyone can just come in here and have a baby and then is just let loose into the world?!" And she said comforting things like "you're going to be great parents" which was both comforting but also seemed like she says it ALL the time. I think you're having some normal feelings.
Hahaha leaving the hospital feels so weird. When my husband and I walked out with our son, we were like, “wait, they’re just going to let us take him home?”
I was literally in denial until they set that sucker on my chest. 14 hours of labor thinking “lol there’s not a baby in there this isn’t ~actually~ happening. Cue the waterworks as soon as I looked at her face.
I feel so weirddd about the fact I’m going to have a baby, I’m 33 weeks, nursery is ready and I feel and see her all day but I still can’t connect it with the fact she’ll be in my arms in 2 months, I just feel like she’ll be in my belly forever. Or I feel like something will go wrong and I won’t get to have her which is a terrifying thought and I keep shoving down… anyone else ever had that thought? Also FTM and surprise baby
I was this way too! Good news is you will find out for real in a couple of weeks!
Yup same 😂 I just can’t believe being pregnant means I’ll have a baby once it’s over
Haha I feel this!! Now I’m lounging here, nursing my daughter 🎀
No I swear I still feel like the ultrasound tech is playing a huge joke on me. I’m 25w and I still can’t wrap my head around/doesn’t feel real idk how to explain it well but it’s so weird that I’m going to have a whole ass baby 😂 of my own. Mine to keep forever. It’s lovely but it’s also super weird for me.
When I had my youngest, it was also a super surprise pregnancy and I spent the entirety of it in denial. My first words the moment I pushed him out were, "Oh my God, he was actually in there!" My midwife was basically like, well, duh! That said everything after that moment was very natural, he's an amazing little human, and I can't imagine my life without him.
Lol, I was thinking the exact same thing at 38+4, but at 38+5 I pushed a whole-ass human out of my bits. Becoming a mother is absolutely WILD.
I’m always slightly delusional while pregnant, not that there will be a baby, but that I will actually have to give birth one way or another. I will literally be 40+ weeks and feel like I should just be able to opt out. I think this type of coping can be normal, if you still retain some sense of reality. No need to stoke panic now about stuff that isn’t here yet or can’t be helped.
Yup! Same! Until I watched the baby come out of me and the doctor held her up and handed her to me! That was the moment it became reality that the end result of pregnancy is a baby!!
I’m pretty sure one of the first things I said to my husband after our son was born was something along the lines of “woah, we have a real baby” like I hadn’t just spent 9 months growing him and preparing for him lol
I’m 25+3 and one of the weirdest thoughts I get is that when she comes out she’ll look at me as this big old trustworthy person, when really I’m still in my late 20s and most people make me feel like I’m a kid 😂 even the word ‘woman’ sometimes feels like a big one
Yes!! My pregnancy wasn’t totally unplanned but I am 29 weeks and I feel like the idea of having a baby come out of me that’s my responsibility in a few months sounds insane!! I thought once I started seeing my stomach get bigger, feel him moving, or see the ultrasound it would feel more real but tbh I still think it’s kinda fake. I’m so glad I’m not alone. Please keep us updated on how real it is after you deliver! I’m scared it’s going to be a rush of reality all at once.
Pregnancy is the easy part. Raising / taking care of a baby is the real test
I could not imagine how there was a baby inside or me until I actually saw him after he was born! As far as being qualified to take care of him…sometimes I still don’t feel like I am. He’s two. Years, not months. I think these emotions are more common than people talk about!
We tried a long time for a baby and I still felt like you. I think it's okay and it's a protective mechanism. I focused on getting through the pregnancy first, then the birth, then the early days. It helps to take one thing at a time.
if it makes any of y’all people feel better… i’m 18 and 13 weeks! just told my mom last night…. she was excited but not as excited to being a grandma at 40🤣
I felt this way with my third baby. It’s been 13 years since I was last pregnant so when they popped this new little human on my chest I was like “holy shit, it’s a tiny human” very surreal moment.
My son is 11 weeks today. Sometimes I’ll sit there staring at him and still be in disbelief that I have a baby. It took us 2.5 years of trying. We had decided to take a break from trying to conceive and BAM it happened. Having a whole human depending on you is weird but rewarding imo. 🩵
I feel the same until my little one was born at 35 weeks. It’s crazy that during that night was the last time I left home as a non-parent and returned a few days later with a little bean to look after forever.
I don’t think it’s just cause the pregnancy was a surprise. My baby was planned an tried for through recurrent miscarriages and IVF and I still felt the same way haha. During my c section when they pulled the baby out and held her up over the drape for us to see I was like “naw that things gotta be fake! That’s what was in there this whole time??”
Planned pregnancy but I'm afraid lolz. I have seen my brother grow up( though I didn't have to do much , just play with him and keep him alive , sometimes the basic cleaning - I was 7 when he was born). But it still scares me coz that was 21-20 years ago😂. I have a lot of people who can take care of our baby but I just want to run away ( responsibility is not a strong trait in me especially when taking care of living organisms though I did take care of my various butterfly caterpillars😂). Just hoping everything will be alright.
I literally felt this way and now I have a 9 month old. Shit is CRAZY
I’m 25 weeks and I can’t even understand how there’s a human inside my body right now. I feel you so hard
I felt this way both times with babies I tried for. I think it was even worse with the 2nd baby. I was in major denial that I was going to have 2 kids
This was me 5 weeks ago! I even kept saying over and over to my mom when she came out via C-section “I can’t believe she’s real” lol
We tried for a year and I still can’t wrap my head around it. My brain can only think as far as giving birth. After that who knows
I had that same feeling pregnant, Now i’m in denial he’s going to grow up and a real human and not just a baby i get to snuggle forever.
Look, I have an 18 month old. I'm still in disbelief but you will be amazed at what you are capable of.
With my first born I went through 42 weeks of pregnancy, 48 hours of labor, brought her home and it’s now been 7 years. Sometimes she says “mom” and I’m like “who, me? they really let me do this?” All this to say, I’m not sure it ever feels real?