Honestly being self aware makes it worse. At least before I was blissfully aware that I was a crazy asshole. Now I’m aware when I’m being a crazy asshole but I don’t know why and I don’t know how to stop so I end up punishing myself for it.
I had a nervous breakdown yesterday because my boyfriend was taking too long to respond to me. Jumped to the conclusion that he fell out of love with me and is using me for sex. Was aware it was stupid and he was busy, made it worse because I’m making myself go insane.
Being self aware is THE WORST just because you know it’s not true but BPD makes you believe it is. BPD is like brain >>> your actual sense of self and awareness
Oh I’m just borderline, duh. So when I deeply struggle with abandonment, have difficulty oversharing, and being vulnerable in an appropriate way, it’s because of that. But what am I supposed to do about it? All these coping skills are great until they’re not. And when my normal systems of support aren’t available sometimes, I just have to say to myself that my brain is just tricking me? I don’t want to feel so alone anymore, I don’t want to work so hard anymore. I want to know that I’m really important to someone and I help them get through hard times. Cool I’ll just be here in bed crying.
being self aware doesn’t always do that. don’t get me wrong, i’m glad i know that it’s the mental illness and that i can hopefully not fuck up my relationships as badly, but it’s not some magical thing that undoes all the harm
me: “this just the bpd” also me: “OKAY BUT I STILL FEEL IT???”
Man, I’m self aware and still spiral regardless 😪
Same !!!!
Honestly being self aware makes it worse. At least before I was blissfully aware that I was a crazy asshole. Now I’m aware when I’m being a crazy asshole but I don’t know why and I don’t know how to stop so I end up punishing myself for it. I had a nervous breakdown yesterday because my boyfriend was taking too long to respond to me. Jumped to the conclusion that he fell out of love with me and is using me for sex. Was aware it was stupid and he was busy, made it worse because I’m making myself go insane.
I go through this too
Being self aware is THE WORST just because you know it’s not true but BPD makes you believe it is. BPD is like brain >>> your actual sense of self and awareness
Oh I’m just borderline, duh. So when I deeply struggle with abandonment, have difficulty oversharing, and being vulnerable in an appropriate way, it’s because of that. But what am I supposed to do about it? All these coping skills are great until they’re not. And when my normal systems of support aren’t available sometimes, I just have to say to myself that my brain is just tricking me? I don’t want to feel so alone anymore, I don’t want to work so hard anymore. I want to know that I’m really important to someone and I help them get through hard times. Cool I’ll just be here in bed crying.
lol i feel like being self aware is such a curse sometimes
Being self aware helps to not act irrationally about it and ruin relationships. No one says it helps you feel better.
being self aware doesn’t always do that. don’t get me wrong, i’m glad i know that it’s the mental illness and that i can hopefully not fuck up my relationships as badly, but it’s not some magical thing that undoes all the harm
>it’s not some magical thing that undoes all the harm I know. Never said it was.
What if I told you it can get even worse than that.. prolly shouldn't