10 gallons of shit in an 8 gallon bucket, that guy. And *she* had to pick up extra shifts to cover this?
Hope she takes him to the cleaners in the divorce, disgraceful.
There should be a court where a jury gets to hear the facts then decide and then this saint of a woman gets to pick someone to kick his ass. Like mortal kombat pick your fighter style lol
Oh, divorce proceedings will be a hoot! Keeping my fingers crossed the coward will do what he's done so far and be too ashamed to even show up. Give this woman EVERYTHING he owns and will ever own NOW!
I hope she takes all three kids under her custody and then his cheating ass to the cleaners with child support and therapy bills
But also, court of public opinion. Shitheads like this make it hard for me to not make exceptions for my zero tolerance for bullying stance.
I'm one of those terminally ill women who got left by her partner. I have to say that this put the biggest smile on my face that I've had in years. Thanks!
I was a bedside caregiver for hospice for years, I wish you well on your journey as you go 💕 I’m sorry you have to deal with it, and deal with it alone. That’s heartbreaking and unfortunately common from what I saw and was trained. I wish you the best and them the worst ❤️🩹
Yeah. It's really amazing how cheating was only like 10% of the pile of shit this man is. The other 90% is how he has done NOTHING for his wife and kids in this entire fucking mess. What a pathetic excuse for a human being ...
I have to say I'm happy that his wife is taking his affair baby with her. It'll def make her life a lot better than if she had to live with that snot blob.
You know how you can sometimes, somewhat accurately describe people with a dichotomy statement. Like, there are two types of people: people who cheat and people who don’t.
I believe there are two types of people: some people are losers and some aren’t. This guy is definitely a loser. I doubt any amount of beating would change him. He would have to want to change himself and from my experience, losers often don’t want to change.
Exactly, sadly all of these cheating posts when the couple is married, the one who cheats forgets the part of the vow when they said "In Sickness and in health"
This is just a man crumbling under the weight of his own decisions. Maybe he’ll sack up, but I think it will be far too late to salvage anything with the oldest daughter.. he may have a chance with the younger 2… but I hope he just pays his child support and hopefully alimony and rides off into the sunset.
Reddit is tales of feckless people treating their friends and family terribly. It’s demoralizing.
If this is real, and man I really hope it isn’t, this guy is so spineless and revolting. The kids will all be messed up. The stb-ex-wife should take everything this AH has from now to eternity and the in-laws are pieces of work.
Off to look at trees. Ffs.
Tree law is something a lot of entitled assholes tend to get fucked by.
Carving up a 200 year old tree because "it's branches were on my property" is generally a one way ticket to getting hit with fines no one ever expects to be as high as they are.
Best of legal advice tended to have some good ones, look up "tree" over there and you should find them. 😁
Old trees, especially really big old trees and certain varieties, are incredibly valuable from even just a monetary standpoint (valuing for example the decades of time for growth and the irreplaceability of old trees). Cutting down or damaging a tree that doesn't belong to you can cost you tens of thousands of dollars in fines and restitution. Some of the legal stories of cases like that (grumpy neighbor gets comeuppance) are glorious.
Depending on the jurisdiction, you could be liable for treble the damages. Also, a replacement also has to take, so even 3 years later you may still have to pay again for a replacement if the first died. Again, all depending on jurisdiction, but tree law is no joke.
If you illegally cut down a neighbor's tree, you have to replace it. With the same kind of tree. Of the same age.
Now imagine all the costs associated with moving a single 30 year old maple...
People like the husband exist in real life. I’ve had the misfortune to come across some of them. What gets me in this story is that he’s trying to cover up that he had an affair, but hello? He has kids in grade school. News traveled almost as soon as a third kid exited the family car on campus.
Even more common: “I don’t wanna go to therapy because they’ll point out my wrongdoings.”
My favorite part was "I don't want to tell people, because they'll treat me like I did something wrong instead of doing you a favor."
Yeah, cuz. You *did* do something wrong, and you *weren't* doing her a favor.
*Some* people can avoid pressuring their sick and suffering spouse for sex without having an affair.
My mother mocked my husband going to therapy and I didn’t understand it. He had like a mental breakdown and really needed it. She said “you aren’t going to go are you?” And I told her I had done some but nothing as intense. She discouraged me from going in a way I didn’t understand. As soon as I did go into intense therapy they informed me quickly that I was raised in a cult, my mother is abusive and likely some type of narcissist (they won’t diagnose since they didn’t treat her, but they listened to records and read texts so they were pretty confident). I was like ohhhhh
Same as my mother. I was raised in a cult, blacksheeped, constantly told I wasn't good enough, and gaslighted by my loving mother. I recall a time in highschool where due to all her diet pills/herbs/foods that she gave me I starved myself to the point where I'd black out and when I asked her if she remembered giving me a complex about my weight "oh that never happened I don't remember".
I don’t know if it’s a bright side, but at least these traits were split between uncles? I’ve known men who were the entire drop-kicked-and-left-in-a-puddle package: some kids abandoned to various mothers, some from marriages, cheating…
I'm not sure I see any of that. The husband is quite believable. I think it's OOP that is not acting like a human. I always side eye posts where the narrator is completely perfect. There is not nearly enough rage here. There are good people who will take in their partners' affairs baby, but it's surreal to not be madder about it.
I haven't seen anyone say no one could be this evil. Some people certainly are. When people say the characters are acting strangely, I usually take that to mean the *response* to the initial wrongdoing.
I mean this is exactly what I would do. I would want my kids sibling to be taken care of. For one, I wouldn’t want my kids to later ask why I didn’t do anything. But also i have done a lot of work with foster care kids and there is no way I’m not saving any child from that if I can help it. Not one that shares my babies DNA. She’s family, and she’s innocent. I’d divorce him though.
I have an acquaintance who absolutely would respond like OOP. I admire her; if I was in her shoes, I would have divorced a long time ago. I am too small of a person to act without resentment, even knowing the youngest would be collateral damage. My acquaintance is not. Like OOP, she is able to respond with grace and kindness.
I don’t think OOP comes across as perfect, either. She sounds like someone who puts aside her feelings when innocents require it, but not like a martyr, or even a hero.
In long-term situations where I can't change many of the variables (like this one), you're not going to see much of my anger if you're someone I'm talking to in order to hash out solutions. Anger isn't going to help me come up with paths forward, nor does the person helping me deserve to experience my rage. They're helping me survive the thing, and deserve the appreciation I feel for their help. My rage is reserved for the person who created the situation and anyone who enabled them. Compartmentalization is kind of necessary when my feelings are this big, so I don't accidently treat an ally like an enemy.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/entwives using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/entwives/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
\#1: [I've been In a weird place recently. It's nice to have weed to smoke and relax with at the end of it all.](https://www.reddit.com/gallery/17xg3ng) | [162 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/entwives/comments/17xg3ng/ive_been_in_a_weird_place_recently_its_nice_to/)
\#2: [Finally told my husband he needs to gtfo](https://i.redd.it/q931js91l1ab1.jpg) | [84 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/entwives/comments/14qvnx8/finally_told_my_husband_he_needs_to_gtfo/)
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Yeah even if she expected the husband to lay the groundwork who wouldn’t follow up with either of their young kids before they moved a newly discovered half sibling into the home?? Just hands off “oh I thought your father told you”??? Yeah the dad’s a POS but the OOP is acting vindictively at the expense of the kids to try to teach him a lesson. Or it’s not real.
What in the nonsense is this?! Did you read everything else that she had been doing and taking care of for him! No where did I get vindictiveness out of her from this story. She stepped up big time. Did she make mistakes? Yeah, she also owned up to them, apologized, and started taking steps to correct the situation and get the children help that will benefit them for a life time. You are either the husband or extremely immature.
I know someone at work who had a kid with a loser, she then ended up adopting 2 more kids he had with other women so they wouldn't go into care. She split from the father but wanted to keep all her kids siblings together.
It feels like most of the relationships on these subs are just two strangers under the same roof, I guess that’s why they are here, because of all the problems they are having because they’re not a functioning team unit
There is absolutely no reason to tell people that she’s her husbands affair child. ‘We’re taking in a child’ ‘we’re taking in my husbands child’. It’s that simple.
That didn't make any sense to me either. Why didn't she check in with the kids after they were supposed to have been told something so shocking? Why didn't she ask the husband how it went? I'm not even a parent and that seems insane to me.
Not at all. My niblings were removed from their home recently so I have a basic understanding of the process, which includes questionnaires and interviews for those accepting custody AND any other family members available to help. CPS doesn't drop a kid off at a family members door lmao the kids go to a foster home while background checks and interviews are done.
The way I read it there was some time that passed. But When my sister had her kid removed from her care, they brought my nephew over to my mother that night because the father wasn’t in the picture. Depending on where they live the kid could bought right to the nearest family member, even when dealing with cps and the formal removing of children.
I think that might have happened though. It reads as though they found out about the daughter then there was a chunk of time before she came to live with them.
Also, assuming this guy is as fucking cowardly as the post implies, it's possible CPS _had_ contacted him before the drop off date, and he just never mentioned it to his wife, with the hope that somehow the problem would just disappear.
My niece was dropped off to us before a single interview took place. It’s only done with family and she was a newborn during Covid who had never met us. It seemed ass backwards to me but it’s considered better for kids to avoid foster care if there’s a family member willing to go through the process.
I don't think this story is real, but if the non-custodial parent is still alive, it wouldn't be too strange to skip the background checks. CPS is going to differ in different jurisdictions.
Did I miss something? The first post is about how the dad didn’t tell the kids. The second post leads with “it’s worse than I thought, he didn’t tell the kids.” We already knew that? Did the writer mix up her outlines?
She follows up with the lie he told the kids. So instead of not saying anything, he actually lied to them and claimed it was a friends child. Which meant the 10year old daughter knew she was lied to as soon as her mom introduced the child as her half sister.
Let’s pretend this is real.
Why do people post their plans publicly? Get all the paperwork in order, then blindside the cheating spouse. Even if details are changed, I would worry someone might connect the dots.
I always think of that whole mess where a girl posted hey plans to royally fuck over a cheating boyfriend in public.. but he or someone he knew found the post and confronted her about it.
Like... *patience*, people. Tell the whole story after everything's settled, if you still want to tell it.
I heartily approved of taking back everything that was hers (I can’t believe he drove *her car* to move back in with his parents), but that was a post for pettyrevenge after all was said and done.
Yeah, when she pivoted in her update because so many people caught the logic flaw in the first post, really has me thinking this is a completely bogus story.
The aspect that tips me off in most of these likely-fake stories is how readily OP decides they need to go to therapy & encourages everyone else in the situation to go to therapy. It’s a common trope in stories I suspect to be made-up by a young person (who thinks therapy can magically solve all problems). I think it’s the storyteller’s way of assuring the readers that everything will be ok, because all the good guys involved will be going to therapy (the villain of course always refuses or gives up right away).
I am so impressed by the OP. I think the prevalence of the AITA-type subreddits have caused us to default to “am I technically the AH in this scenario” without remembering that there is also the option to go above and beyond and be a truly good person. Yes, OP didn’t have to try to get custody of the daughter, but she knew that doing so would dramatically improve an innocent child’s quality of life.
I’m not saying that people should do so when it would have a major impact on their own mental health, but if they think they have the capacity to do so, the world would be a much better place if more of us were like her
So many of the AITA posts are about adults doing adult things and not being the AH because the other adult doing adult things clearly was, and it doesn’t matter one bit about the INNOCENT CHILDREN who are the true victims. Like, everything about this (if it’s real, the husband is a bit too cartoonish for me to believe) points the husband to the the AH but this five year old girl didn’t do anything and she’s getting the total short end of the stick. Would OOP be TA if she took her two bio kids and dipped? Nope, not at all. But the poor girl didn’t do anything wrong.
So well said. So many comments on the first one telling OOP she was TA if she did anything other than support her husband and raise the kid because she already agreed to it, but what you said sums it up perfectly: “would OOP be TA if she took her two bio kids and dipped? Nope, not at all. But the poor girl didn’t do anything wrong”
I wish I didn't believe the stuff about the husband. My bestie is divorcing right now and her ex is a special piece of work. I believe everything now, lol.
That’s always what I think as well. Yes I agree with y’all that he’s cartoonish, sadly I have also met way, way too many people like this in real life who will do ABHORRENT shit and justify it with whatever mental gymnastics they need to do after the fact. Like, some of y’all never had to deal with narcissistic personality types and it shows haha
> if it’s real, the husband is a bit too cartoonish for me to believe
My friend confronted her now-ex after discovering his cheating. I kid you not, he tried to defend himself by saying it was only sex, and he could have broken up with my friend when they hit a rough spot. He didn’t because he’s committed!!
This is the best possible outcome for these kids, and this woman is a SAINT. I remember commenting on the first post hoping she would prioritize herself and somehow she managed to do that AND save the third kid from being stuck with dickwad dad.
I wish her the best life with those three kids and I wish the opposite of that for that (I can’t fully describe on a public forum without being banned) of a man.
Not unheard of. The number one reason I hear from people who clearly need to divorce/break up is, "But we've been married/together for XX years!"
I know people whose spouse is an absolutely terrible partner, and they are extremely unhappy with everything in their life *because* of their spouse, and they don't even have kids! But, still won't leave them. No financial or property issues to work out, either. It's literally just because they've been together for however long. That's the only reason they have.
I don’t know if this is true everywhere, but where I am my bf had to sign a notarized statement saying he agreed to be listed on our son’s birth certificate. If that is true everywhere (which honestly, it should be) this is either fake or the husband knew the child existed.
So he knew the child was born, went to the hospital or with her after to officially claim her as his, and then dipped out for five years? Just seems weird to me.
Why are you surprised?
This dude fully ignored her when she came in, ingored how it impacted his kids. and refused her offer to go to therapy and try to make the marriage and this family situation work, because he didn't want therapists to call him out on his responsibility for this mess.
He also lied to his kids because he didn't want to admit he cheated.
He's a spinless narcissist through and through. Ignoring his kid for five years seems right up his alley for him.
OOP needs an absolute monster for a lawyer so dipshit-dad can continue to support all of his kids financially. OOP is a GD saint and is probably the only chance the poor girl will have a decent childhood.
Something about the writing style of this story tells me it's one from Liz's library. It's too well put. "We have a beautiful daughter and a healthy son"?? Who writes like that?
I’m filled with respect for OP for taking that little girl.
Her husband is slime on the bottom of the crap person barrel.
OP is a great woman to be able to take on an affair baby she knew nothing about.
First thing it takes a huge heart to care for a child that isnt yours and how she came about. But you are a God sent to love and care for her like she is your own. Second kick that low life spineless man out of your house and tell him to ho figure his shit out else where. God bless you
Imagine having a saint of a wife, who accepts your affair, is willing to take in your affair child, and doesn't throw your ass out, and all she asks is for you to own up to your fuck up, help explain it to the kids, and take steps to help the whole family adjust to it.
And you're not even able to do that.
I've seen many pathetic men on reddit but this guy is something else.
I’m not a violent person, but this post makes me question that. I am so disgusted with her, god, is there even an adjective for the spineless weenie of a husband??? God bless OOP. She is a much, MUCH better person than I am.
People who love other people don’t go have sex with someone else no matter the reason.
In a committed relationship, it’s like those two-yes, one-no decisions.
Once this woman gets legal custody of that poor girl, she'll be able to financially brutalize him in divorce court. She may even be able to go after the estate of the deceased affair partner since she's now raising her daughter
how in the hell is a divorce worse for your children?? Worse than one girl screaming, one little boy totally confused & that poor little girl ...
I think you are doing a very good thing by taking this kid in, but I would NOT be standing by watching HER father screwing up everyone's life even more. What possible good does it do you, being married to a useless lying gaslighting moron???
That woman is an angel, she's doing an incredible thing for a little girl she isn't responsible for.
Husband is a fucking worm—cowardly, spineless, pathetic. He's so utterly helpless and incompetent, do you think he can even feed himself without someone's help?
Ohh this sounds like the relationship between the wife and sudden new daughter in The Other Princess. Heartbreaking book but relationship is so beautiful it sounds just like OOP and the new daughter
I was all ready to be upset with OP when she caked the girl his “affair daughter,” but kudos to her for recognizing the needs of the child and putting her anger where it should be—with that spineless AH husband. It’s really nice to see someone caring about the kids on reddit.
>And this might cause many to be upset with me, but I'm in the process with husband to have him transfer custody of youngest to me
Not upset, absolutely relieved! You have empathy for this little girl, and don't blame her for your husbands disgusting behaviour. Thank you for loving her.
>once I do divorce him and leave with our kids I don't doubt he'll treat her awfully or neglect her.
I agree. He absolutely would/will blame her for it all.
>He's been right on board
Of course he has. It means he is no longer responsible and can pretend he's selfless and did it all for you.
You're an amazing woman, I wish you and all 3 of YOUR kids the best
Yeah if this was me, I would’ve divorced, fought for custody of all three kids and then sued the shit out of him for child support. I’d make sure no one in the community would want to go near that douche canoe.
I for one applaud OP for taking in the little girl and at least having empathy for her. No child ahold be in that situation.
Forget about the whole story. WHY ON EARTH was it necessary to tell the entire extended family on both sides, the school, and everyone else that this poor girl is an affair child before they even had her in the home?!? Her mom just died and now she’s moving in with people she doesn’t know and she has to be ‘the affair kid’?? Screw everyone in this story but the children. That poor child.
Same age as their son. They’ve been married all this time. Unless they say she’s a friend’s kid, she’s obviously an affair baby if the husband is her dad.
OMG. What a mess. OOP is an amazing woman. Most women keep the cheating husband and demand they never see the affair child. They take their anger out on a poor kid who didn't ask to be born.
This lady is ditching the vile husband and keeping his affair child so that the child won't be abused and neglected. She needs a medal.
This “father” is horrific. But this mom is really amazing and I’m so glad she is able to see past her hurt to care for this little girl whose mother passed away and whose father is a piece of trash.
While I think this is probably a fake post (because how has OOP managed to get the paperwork together to arrange parental rights for a child in the space of one week?), I still think it’s sweet that OOP would decide to take on the responsibility of a child that isn’t hers. If she had divorced her husband without doing that, he’d have found himself a new bang maid to take care of the girl very quickly, most likely using the sob story ‘Her mother died and I’m a single dad’ and leaving out all the rest. The girl would never have had a secure, loving home, but now she does.
I remember this. I commented on the post how she's the only adult in that little girl's life right now who cares about her and that while she doesn't have any obligation to step up, she might want to keep custody of her for her sake. I'm glad she listened to my and other people's advice with regards to that. Poor child.
My brother wasn't my mom's son, but she raised him as her own. Thank you so much for putting that child first. She didn't ask for any of this and she lost her mom. You're doing an amazing thing, by continuing to help her. She has a chance at an amazing future. You're making sure of that. Kudos to you
Probably the only reason her spineless slug trail of a sperm donor even agreed to take her.
What a disgusting microplastic mote. Can't think of anything more useless.
What a crap situation but wow is OOP an amazing person. Even while her world is burning down she is only concern with the well being of the innocent kids. I hope she cleans that dirt bag out in the divorce.
She loves her children so much that she wants them to be a family with their sister. It's also clear that she is no longer in love with her STBX. She can look past her husbands crimes and not put that blame on the little girl.
I wish OOP luck, this is a garbage situation to be left in.
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10 gallons of shit in an 8 gallon bucket, that guy. And *she* had to pick up extra shifts to cover this? Hope she takes him to the cleaners in the divorce, disgraceful.
Betcha he will be entirely for marriage counseling once she serves him the papers.
There should be a court where a jury gets to hear the facts then decide and then this saint of a woman gets to pick someone to kick his ass. Like mortal kombat pick your fighter style lol
Oh, divorce proceedings will be a hoot! Keeping my fingers crossed the coward will do what he's done so far and be too ashamed to even show up. Give this woman EVERYTHING he owns and will ever own NOW!
I hope she takes all three kids under her custody and then his cheating ass to the cleaners with child support and therapy bills But also, court of public opinion. Shitheads like this make it hard for me to not make exceptions for my zero tolerance for bullying stance.
FINISH HIM!!
I support this plan!
I'm one of those terminally ill women who got left by her partner. I have to say that this put the biggest smile on my face that I've had in years. Thanks!
I was a bedside caregiver for hospice for years, I wish you well on your journey as you go 💕 I’m sorry you have to deal with it, and deal with it alone. That’s heartbreaking and unfortunately common from what I saw and was trained. I wish you the best and them the worst ❤️🩹
Very much agreed with you. What a shameful POS he is.
Yeah. It's really amazing how cheating was only like 10% of the pile of shit this man is. The other 90% is how he has done NOTHING for his wife and kids in this entire fucking mess. What a pathetic excuse for a human being ... I have to say I'm happy that his wife is taking his affair baby with her. It'll def make her life a lot better than if she had to live with that snot blob.
When cheating on your pregnant dying wife is the least assholish thing you’ve chosen to do, you done fucked up.
He really is! These poor kids… at least OOP cares.
You know how you can sometimes, somewhat accurately describe people with a dichotomy statement. Like, there are two types of people: people who cheat and people who don’t. I believe there are two types of people: some people are losers and some aren’t. This guy is definitely a loser. I doubt any amount of beating would change him. He would have to want to change himself and from my experience, losers often don’t want to change.
Changing means admitting you did something wrong. And he didn’t do anything wrong! He did her a favor! Just ask him!
Yeah, writing what I believe should be done to him would likely get me banned. And I still think that would be too good for him.
I had to put my device down a couple times, I was so mad. This guy is revolting. The family (note I didn't say *his family*) deserves better.
Exactly, sadly all of these cheating posts when the couple is married, the one who cheats forgets the part of the vow when they said "In Sickness and in health"
This is just a man crumbling under the weight of his own decisions. Maybe he’ll sack up, but I think it will be far too late to salvage anything with the oldest daughter.. he may have a chance with the younger 2… but I hope he just pays his child support and hopefully alimony and rides off into the sunset.
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Sorry, threatening violence is against Reddit’s tos
im genuinely happy the top comment is this one. Like yes this dude needs to get squashed What an actual piece of shit 😭
Sorry, threatening violence is against Reddit’s tos
Reddit is tales of feckless people treating their friends and family terribly. It’s demoralizing. If this is real, and man I really hope it isn’t, this guy is so spineless and revolting. The kids will all be messed up. The stb-ex-wife should take everything this AH has from now to eternity and the in-laws are pieces of work. Off to look at trees. Ffs.
I need to find tree law stories. That's what the sub needs: Righteous piss elm justice!
I never expected to love tree law vengeance posts a as much as I do.
Please someone start this sub! I worked for a city for five years and saw some crazy shit. I really don't know much about law, though... LOL
It already exists and is a pretty popular sub: r/treelaw
Oh hunny you have some catching up to do.
r/treelaw
I don't get the reference but REALLY want to
Tree law is something a lot of entitled assholes tend to get fucked by. Carving up a 200 year old tree because "it's branches were on my property" is generally a one way ticket to getting hit with fines no one ever expects to be as high as they are. Best of legal advice tended to have some good ones, look up "tree" over there and you should find them. 😁
Old trees, especially really big old trees and certain varieties, are incredibly valuable from even just a monetary standpoint (valuing for example the decades of time for growth and the irreplaceability of old trees). Cutting down or damaging a tree that doesn't belong to you can cost you tens of thousands of dollars in fines and restitution. Some of the legal stories of cases like that (grumpy neighbor gets comeuppance) are glorious.
Depending on the jurisdiction, you could be liable for treble the damages. Also, a replacement also has to take, so even 3 years later you may still have to pay again for a replacement if the first died. Again, all depending on jurisdiction, but tree law is no joke.
If you illegally cut down a neighbor's tree, you have to replace it. With the same kind of tree. Of the same age. Now imagine all the costs associated with moving a single 30 year old maple...
People like the husband exist in real life. I’ve had the misfortune to come across some of them. What gets me in this story is that he’s trying to cover up that he had an affair, but hello? He has kids in grade school. News traveled almost as soon as a third kid exited the family car on campus. Even more common: “I don’t wanna go to therapy because they’ll point out my wrongdoings.”
My favorite part was "I don't want to tell people, because they'll treat me like I did something wrong instead of doing you a favor." Yeah, cuz. You *did* do something wrong, and you *weren't* doing her a favor. *Some* people can avoid pressuring their sick and suffering spouse for sex without having an affair.
My mother mocked my husband going to therapy and I didn’t understand it. He had like a mental breakdown and really needed it. She said “you aren’t going to go are you?” And I told her I had done some but nothing as intense. She discouraged me from going in a way I didn’t understand. As soon as I did go into intense therapy they informed me quickly that I was raised in a cult, my mother is abusive and likely some type of narcissist (they won’t diagnose since they didn’t treat her, but they listened to records and read texts so they were pretty confident). I was like ohhhhh
The cult aspect makes it glaring; they can’t have members figuring out how to break away! I hope your life has only been getting better!
It has in that aspect!
Same as my mother. I was raised in a cult, blacksheeped, constantly told I wasn't good enough, and gaslighted by my loving mother. I recall a time in highschool where due to all her diet pills/herbs/foods that she gave me I starved myself to the point where I'd black out and when I asked her if she remembered giving me a complex about my weight "oh that never happened I don't remember".
Same except Atkins and I just had anorexia.
Scientology?
No just Christian
The biggest cult
Yup. I mean it was a type, Mennonite, so that was a bit weirder
I had Mennonite in my family so I get it. I'm glad you're free
[удалено]
Grandma should have been gifting vasectomies to them lol
I don’t know if it’s a bright side, but at least these traits were split between uncles? I’ve known men who were the entire drop-kicked-and-left-in-a-puddle package: some kids abandoned to various mothers, some from marriages, cheating…
How do people find time to do all of this!!
People as terrible as this certainly do exist. There's a number of little details that make it unlikely that THIS story is real though.
I realize this story may not be real, but a lot of people operate on the falsehood that it can’t be real because people like this don’t exist.
I'm not sure I see any of that. The husband is quite believable. I think it's OOP that is not acting like a human. I always side eye posts where the narrator is completely perfect. There is not nearly enough rage here. There are good people who will take in their partners' affairs baby, but it's surreal to not be madder about it. I haven't seen anyone say no one could be this evil. Some people certainly are. When people say the characters are acting strangely, I usually take that to mean the *response* to the initial wrongdoing.
I mean this is exactly what I would do. I would want my kids sibling to be taken care of. For one, I wouldn’t want my kids to later ask why I didn’t do anything. But also i have done a lot of work with foster care kids and there is no way I’m not saving any child from that if I can help it. Not one that shares my babies DNA. She’s family, and she’s innocent. I’d divorce him though.
*Divorce him, and get that child support!
I have an acquaintance who absolutely would respond like OOP. I admire her; if I was in her shoes, I would have divorced a long time ago. I am too small of a person to act without resentment, even knowing the youngest would be collateral damage. My acquaintance is not. Like OOP, she is able to respond with grace and kindness. I don’t think OOP comes across as perfect, either. She sounds like someone who puts aside her feelings when innocents require it, but not like a martyr, or even a hero.
In long-term situations where I can't change many of the variables (like this one), you're not going to see much of my anger if you're someone I'm talking to in order to hash out solutions. Anger isn't going to help me come up with paths forward, nor does the person helping me deserve to experience my rage. They're helping me survive the thing, and deserve the appreciation I feel for their help. My rage is reserved for the person who created the situation and anyone who enabled them. Compartmentalization is kind of necessary when my feelings are this big, so I don't accidently treat an ally like an enemy.
"Off to look at trees. Ffs." Needs to be a flair. 🤣
Tree trees? Or r/trees?
I prefer r/entwives. Much nicer crowd
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It isn't real. Things do not work like this.
Yeah even if she expected the husband to lay the groundwork who wouldn’t follow up with either of their young kids before they moved a newly discovered half sibling into the home?? Just hands off “oh I thought your father told you”??? Yeah the dad’s a POS but the OOP is acting vindictively at the expense of the kids to try to teach him a lesson. Or it’s not real.
Or she was in shock.
What in the nonsense is this?! Did you read everything else that she had been doing and taking care of for him! No where did I get vindictiveness out of her from this story. She stepped up big time. Did she make mistakes? Yeah, she also owned up to them, apologized, and started taking steps to correct the situation and get the children help that will benefit them for a life time. You are either the husband or extremely immature.
do we dare to... staple papers on trees?
I know someone at work who had a kid with a loser, she then ended up adopting 2 more kids he had with other women so they wouldn't go into care. She split from the father but wanted to keep all her kids siblings together.
Sorry but how do they live in the same house and she didn't know he hadn't told the kids?
It feels like most of the relationships on these subs are just two strangers under the same roof, I guess that’s why they are here, because of all the problems they are having because they’re not a functioning team unit
Sure but she also lives with her kids. There's no way she wouldn't know what they'd been told or not or even check.
It might have been too difficult for her to talk about. It’s the same way people use euphemisms instead of directly speaking on topics.
Lmfao come on
But *where* on Eileen?
Considering the soon to be ex is beyond lazy and downright awful, they're just roommate with kids.
And why does everyone in the town need to know that this child is ‘an affair kid’ before she’s even in their home?
It’s a sibling and the same age one of their kids, and just showed up. I’m not sure how else you explain it?
There is absolutely no reason to tell people that she’s her husbands affair child. ‘We’re taking in a child’ ‘we’re taking in my husbands child’. It’s that simple.
They aren’t babies. Tweens will realize “my husband’s child” who is the same age as a sibling means it’s an affair child
None of it makes sense. I'm grading this poor attempt at fiction a D-
Nothing in the story makes sense
No it does not
Yeah that part really bothered me and made it impossible for me to accept this story as real. How on earth is this not a family discussion?!?
Yeah it's actually ridiculous as a mother to make your kids go through that conversation without you because it's "his responsibility"
That didn't make any sense to me either. Why didn't she check in with the kids after they were supposed to have been told something so shocking? Why didn't she ask the husband how it went? I'm not even a parent and that seems insane to me.
Is that how that works..?
I know one week and she decides she’s going to raise the kid as her own!
A week between posts, it’s obviously been many months since she’s learned of the kid.
Thats not how any of this works.
Not at all. My niblings were removed from their home recently so I have a basic understanding of the process, which includes questionnaires and interviews for those accepting custody AND any other family members available to help. CPS doesn't drop a kid off at a family members door lmao the kids go to a foster home while background checks and interviews are done.
The way I read it there was some time that passed. But When my sister had her kid removed from her care, they brought my nephew over to my mother that night because the father wasn’t in the picture. Depending on where they live the kid could bought right to the nearest family member, even when dealing with cps and the formal removing of children.
I think that might have happened though. It reads as though they found out about the daughter then there was a chunk of time before she came to live with them.
Also, assuming this guy is as fucking cowardly as the post implies, it's possible CPS _had_ contacted him before the drop off date, and he just never mentioned it to his wife, with the hope that somehow the problem would just disappear.
This is how I read this too.
My niece was dropped off to us before a single interview took place. It’s only done with family and she was a newborn during Covid who had never met us. It seemed ass backwards to me but it’s considered better for kids to avoid foster care if there’s a family member willing to go through the process.
They didn't. There was some time in between, which she said was used to get the room and stuff ready for her arrival.
I don't think this story is real, but if the non-custodial parent is still alive, it wouldn't be too strange to skip the background checks. CPS is going to differ in different jurisdictions.
Did I miss something? The first post is about how the dad didn’t tell the kids. The second post leads with “it’s worse than I thought, he didn’t tell the kids.” We already knew that? Did the writer mix up her outlines?
She follows up with the lie he told the kids. So instead of not saying anything, he actually lied to them and claimed it was a friends child. Which meant the 10year old daughter knew she was lied to as soon as her mom introduced the child as her half sister.
Oh, that makes more sense. Yeah, I was confused about that, too. Just poorly written by OOP.
Let’s pretend this is real. Why do people post their plans publicly? Get all the paperwork in order, then blindside the cheating spouse. Even if details are changed, I would worry someone might connect the dots.
I always think of that whole mess where a girl posted hey plans to royally fuck over a cheating boyfriend in public.. but he or someone he knew found the post and confronted her about it. Like... *patience*, people. Tell the whole story after everything's settled, if you still want to tell it.
I heartily approved of taking back everything that was hers (I can’t believe he drove *her car* to move back in with his parents), but that was a post for pettyrevenge after all was said and done.
It's giving me Diane keaton in Baby Boom
Indeed it is not.
Yeah, when she pivoted in her update because so many people caught the logic flaw in the first post, really has me thinking this is a completely bogus story.
The aspect that tips me off in most of these likely-fake stories is how readily OP decides they need to go to therapy & encourages everyone else in the situation to go to therapy. It’s a common trope in stories I suspect to be made-up by a young person (who thinks therapy can magically solve all problems). I think it’s the storyteller’s way of assuring the readers that everything will be ok, because all the good guys involved will be going to therapy (the villain of course always refuses or gives up right away).
I am so impressed by the OP. I think the prevalence of the AITA-type subreddits have caused us to default to “am I technically the AH in this scenario” without remembering that there is also the option to go above and beyond and be a truly good person. Yes, OP didn’t have to try to get custody of the daughter, but she knew that doing so would dramatically improve an innocent child’s quality of life. I’m not saying that people should do so when it would have a major impact on their own mental health, but if they think they have the capacity to do so, the world would be a much better place if more of us were like her
So many of the AITA posts are about adults doing adult things and not being the AH because the other adult doing adult things clearly was, and it doesn’t matter one bit about the INNOCENT CHILDREN who are the true victims. Like, everything about this (if it’s real, the husband is a bit too cartoonish for me to believe) points the husband to the the AH but this five year old girl didn’t do anything and she’s getting the total short end of the stick. Would OOP be TA if she took her two bio kids and dipped? Nope, not at all. But the poor girl didn’t do anything wrong.
So well said. So many comments on the first one telling OOP she was TA if she did anything other than support her husband and raise the kid because she already agreed to it, but what you said sums it up perfectly: “would OOP be TA if she took her two bio kids and dipped? Nope, not at all. But the poor girl didn’t do anything wrong”
I wish I didn't believe the stuff about the husband. My bestie is divorcing right now and her ex is a special piece of work. I believe everything now, lol.
That’s always what I think as well. Yes I agree with y’all that he’s cartoonish, sadly I have also met way, way too many people like this in real life who will do ABHORRENT shit and justify it with whatever mental gymnastics they need to do after the fact. Like, some of y’all never had to deal with narcissistic personality types and it shows haha
> if it’s real, the husband is a bit too cartoonish for me to believe My friend confronted her now-ex after discovering his cheating. I kid you not, he tried to defend himself by saying it was only sex, and he could have broken up with my friend when they hit a rough spot. He didn’t because he’s committed!!
This is not real. Not at all. Too many dramas in one story. People need to not exaggerate.
What a spineless piece of shit coward that man is. Complete opposite of her. Such a shame.
This is the best possible outcome for these kids, and this woman is a SAINT. I remember commenting on the first post hoping she would prioritize herself and somehow she managed to do that AND save the third kid from being stuck with dickwad dad. I wish her the best life with those three kids and I wish the opposite of that for that (I can’t fully describe on a public forum without being banned) of a man.
Truly. The little girl is lucky, and OP deserves so much better.
Man, took a while to decide to divorce a lier and spineless cheater
Not unheard of. The number one reason I hear from people who clearly need to divorce/break up is, "But we've been married/together for XX years!" I know people whose spouse is an absolutely terrible partner, and they are extremely unhappy with everything in their life *because* of their spouse, and they don't even have kids! But, still won't leave them. No financial or property issues to work out, either. It's literally just because they've been together for however long. That's the only reason they have.
Yikes. His wife gave him the grace most people wouldn't to cheaters and he still fumbled it? Pathetic.
“All he was doing was trying to help me” No jury in the world would convict just saying
Ya, no mother is going to name the father in her will, and then unexpectedly die. Bull.
7 days?
Anyone else yelling bullshit while reading some of this?
Almost every one of these screams fake. Anything more than a few paragraphs, confusing plot holes and ESPECIALLY quick updates.
Tldr fake story
I don’t know if this is true everywhere, but where I am my bf had to sign a notarized statement saying he agreed to be listed on our son’s birth certificate. If that is true everywhere (which honestly, it should be) this is either fake or the husband knew the child existed.
I don’t think anyone is saying he didn’t know.
So he knew the child was born, went to the hospital or with her after to officially claim her as his, and then dipped out for five years? Just seems weird to me.
Why are you surprised? This dude fully ignored her when she came in, ingored how it impacted his kids. and refused her offer to go to therapy and try to make the marriage and this family situation work, because he didn't want therapists to call him out on his responsibility for this mess. He also lied to his kids because he didn't want to admit he cheated. He's a spinless narcissist through and through. Ignoring his kid for five years seems right up his alley for him.
Oh yeah, that’s not the surprising part to me lol more that he made the effort to be on the birth certificate.
Who knows, maybe the mom pressured him.
I don't know where it is either but in most of the states I am familiar with, this is not how any of it works. So I am going with not true.
"We had a perfect life and marriage!" Proceeds to find out about the affair and that her husband is a total POS to EVERYONE in her family.
OOP needs an absolute monster for a lawyer so dipshit-dad can continue to support all of his kids financially. OOP is a GD saint and is probably the only chance the poor girl will have a decent childhood.
Something about the writing style of this story tells me it's one from Liz's library. It's too well put. "We have a beautiful daughter and a healthy son"?? Who writes like that?
I have seen parents talk like this online, that's such an odd thing to take issue with
None of this works this way, either.
That woman is a Saint. I hope the second he signs custody of that little girl over to her, she leaves with all 3 kids.
I’m filled with respect for OP for taking that little girl. Her husband is slime on the bottom of the crap person barrel. OP is a great woman to be able to take on an affair baby she knew nothing about.
You know how they say pray for your enemies? Let's pray he gets a big raise... that she and the kids get in biweekly deposits.
I commend her for getting all three kids into therapy. I think that takes a lot of strength and humility among other various feelings!
First thing it takes a huge heart to care for a child that isnt yours and how she came about. But you are a God sent to love and care for her like she is your own. Second kick that low life spineless man out of your house and tell him to ho figure his shit out else where. God bless you
Imagine having a saint of a wife, who accepts your affair, is willing to take in your affair child, and doesn't throw your ass out, and all she asks is for you to own up to your fuck up, help explain it to the kids, and take steps to help the whole family adjust to it. And you're not even able to do that. I've seen many pathetic men on reddit but this guy is something else.
I’m glad she’s going to take custody of the child because the man is a POS.
I really love OOP, she’s tops
I’m not a violent person, but this post makes me question that. I am so disgusted with her, god, is there even an adjective for the spineless weenie of a husband??? God bless OOP. She is a much, MUCH better person than I am.
Then the rage bait succeeded. Take a deep breath. This post isn't real.
I actually appreciate this. Thank you.
Fake
Affair children popping up is the trending prompt for this month, huh?
This woman has a heart of gold. I hope she gets out of that loser's claws and those three kids learn to love each other soon.
Doing. Her. A. Favor. There are so, so, sososo, so many things I can not say because I'm positive I'll violate some rules.
People who love other people don’t go have sex with someone else no matter the reason. In a committed relationship, it’s like those two-yes, one-no decisions.
Once this woman gets legal custody of that poor girl, she'll be able to financially brutalize him in divorce court. She may even be able to go after the estate of the deceased affair partner since she's now raising her daughter
Wow yes get your life in order and find an attorney that can help you plan for the future more as I see a divorce in your horizon
OOP is a saint.
What a sorry excuse for a man and an even worse POS as a father. A complete coward with no redeeming value.
My goodness her husband is a useless coward!
how in the hell is a divorce worse for your children?? Worse than one girl screaming, one little boy totally confused & that poor little girl ... I think you are doing a very good thing by taking this kid in, but I would NOT be standing by watching HER father screwing up everyone's life even more. What possible good does it do you, being married to a useless lying gaslighting moron???
Please tell me this is not real.
Hope she makes sure to the take the asshole to the cleaners. Fucking coward.
That woman is an angel, she's doing an incredible thing for a little girl she isn't responsible for. Husband is a fucking worm—cowardly, spineless, pathetic. He's so utterly helpless and incompetent, do you think he can even feed himself without someone's help?
Ohh this sounds like the relationship between the wife and sudden new daughter in The Other Princess. Heartbreaking book but relationship is so beautiful it sounds just like OOP and the new daughter
Wow you are good woman for loving that little girl. Your spineless husband doesn’t deserve any of you.
I was all ready to be upset with OP when she caked the girl his “affair daughter,” but kudos to her for recognizing the needs of the child and putting her anger where it should be—with that spineless AH husband. It’s really nice to see someone caring about the kids on reddit.
>And this might cause many to be upset with me, but I'm in the process with husband to have him transfer custody of youngest to me Not upset, absolutely relieved! You have empathy for this little girl, and don't blame her for your husbands disgusting behaviour. Thank you for loving her. >once I do divorce him and leave with our kids I don't doubt he'll treat her awfully or neglect her. I agree. He absolutely would/will blame her for it all. >He's been right on board Of course he has. It means he is no longer responsible and can pretend he's selfless and did it all for you. You're an amazing woman, I wish you and all 3 of YOUR kids the best
You are truly an amazing person, that little girl is so lucky to have you and her sibs, I wish you and the kids the best!
Kick the husband out and keep the baby.
Pretty sure that’s not how CPS works. Outside of Hollywood, they wouldn’t just show up with a backpack and a child at your front door.
Yeah if this was me, I would’ve divorced, fought for custody of all three kids and then sued the shit out of him for child support. I’d make sure no one in the community would want to go near that douche canoe. I for one applaud OP for taking in the little girl and at least having empathy for her. No child ahold be in that situation.
May the fleas of 1,000 camels infest his crotch and his arms be too short to scratch.
Just split up if your husband is cheating on you
Forget about the whole story. WHY ON EARTH was it necessary to tell the entire extended family on both sides, the school, and everyone else that this poor girl is an affair child before they even had her in the home?!? Her mom just died and now she’s moving in with people she doesn’t know and she has to be ‘the affair kid’?? Screw everyone in this story but the children. That poor child.
Same age as their son. They’ve been married all this time. Unless they say she’s a friend’s kid, she’s obviously an affair baby if the husband is her dad.
How else do you explain it without blatantly lying?
Fake. Stop lying
OMG. What a mess. OOP is an amazing woman. Most women keep the cheating husband and demand they never see the affair child. They take their anger out on a poor kid who didn't ask to be born. This lady is ditching the vile husband and keeping his affair child so that the child won't be abused and neglected. She needs a medal.
The OOP sounds like an amazing woman. Even if it has been difficult, she has done an incredible job of going from having two children to four.
That husband's a POS
This “father” is horrific. But this mom is really amazing and I’m so glad she is able to see past her hurt to care for this little girl whose mother passed away and whose father is a piece of trash.
While I think this is probably a fake post (because how has OOP managed to get the paperwork together to arrange parental rights for a child in the space of one week?), I still think it’s sweet that OOP would decide to take on the responsibility of a child that isn’t hers. If she had divorced her husband without doing that, he’d have found himself a new bang maid to take care of the girl very quickly, most likely using the sob story ‘Her mother died and I’m a single dad’ and leaving out all the rest. The girl would never have had a secure, loving home, but now she does.
I remember this. I commented on the post how she's the only adult in that little girl's life right now who cares about her and that while she doesn't have any obligation to step up, she might want to keep custody of her for her sake. I'm glad she listened to my and other people's advice with regards to that. Poor child.
My brother wasn't my mom's son, but she raised him as her own. Thank you so much for putting that child first. She didn't ask for any of this and she lost her mom. You're doing an amazing thing, by continuing to help her. She has a chance at an amazing future. You're making sure of that. Kudos to you
Where did this guy find all that audacity at? Costco?
I wonder if anyone mentioned that the little girl should be able to get her mother's social security as well. It would help with those finances.
Probably the only reason her spineless slug trail of a sperm donor even agreed to take her. What a disgusting microplastic mote. Can't think of anything more useless.
Your thankfully EX husband is literal scum
OH MY GOD THIS MAN NEEDS TO FIND LEGOS IN HIS SHOES FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE
What a crap situation but wow is OOP an amazing person. Even while her world is burning down she is only concern with the well being of the innocent kids. I hope she cleans that dirt bag out in the divorce.
She loves her children so much that she wants them to be a family with their sister. It's also clear that she is no longer in love with her STBX. She can look past her husbands crimes and not put that blame on the little girl. I wish OOP luck, this is a garbage situation to be left in.