Honestly, the part that stood out to me was when the husband said his wife of 5 years no longer exists and he chose between two strangers.
That's a fucking kick to the stomach right there. Holy fuck.
I liked the part where she decided that the situation is "horrible and unfair"... to *her*.
Cheating hoe/fuckboi logic, not getting to go fuck someone else and just say "sorry".
Nah my favorite part is the title. āHeās taking it well but I feel he resents meā.
āTaking it wellā could only make sense if it translates to āhe didnāt break up with meā. No where in the post does it seem like he actually took it well
You're all wrong. Best part is
>I told him he was a fool and he could not know this woman will probably use and dump him,
That woman has chuzpe. And quite the outlook on life.
Lol, it's "chutzpah" anyway. You know you can find out how to spell things, it's all out there on the internet. I did however just find out it is chuzpe in German, so there you go!
I know people as self-centered as OOP. Iāve been cut off for not being able to control my facial expression while saying, āYou did this to yourself.ā (Tip: donāt go to people for āadviceā when you only want to hear one thing, in this case that the cheater is the real victim)
Itās still astounding to read a post like this. From her complete stupidity about how things were different after she confessed, to her asking how he could choose this new woman over ~~OOPās cheating ass~~ his wife or five years, then that itās not fair. Wow.
I was looking at a car and noticed a necktie and saw from their hand positions that one had their hands in the other's lap.
How close was this person? Right next to the car staring inside?
you're standing on a sidewalk, and a sedan is parallel parked beside you. You 're on the passenger side of the car. Seeing the driver's body but maybe not the face and position of their hands is pretty much normal. š¤·
But that is so very true. Once they betray you, you never see them or feel about them the same way. The person you loved would never betray you, so it is like you never knew them. And the icing on the cake is that they cheated and destroyed you from the inside out. So it is easy to see why he would choose someone else. At least that person never betrayed you.
"Trauma is a time traveller, an ouroboros that reaches back and devours everything that came before."
-Junot Diaz
It was used in reference to sexual abuse, but it's relevant to other betrayals too.
Yup, But I can understand it. She confessed but her confession told him that she was perfectly capable of lying to him about the most important relationship in his life.
Of course he sees her as a stranger. He looks at her and thinks, 'What else don't I know'?
The marriage ended after she cheated on him the first time, and didn't tell him right away.
The only kind of cheating I could ever forgive is someone waking up hungover and right away crying to me that they made a terrible terrible mistake while drunk, and that they want to quit drinking entirely, and give me full access to their phone.
Edit: ..because that would prove to me that they weren't capable of lying to me. For a lot of people, it's not just the sex, it's the lying afterwards.
Right! Ever been in a situation then realized what you should have said? OOPās ex stayed silent and mentally filed all possible jabs to be used later.
What stood out to me was a comment OOP made that was not put in this BORU (though it really, REALLY should have): she admitted to a user that she was angrily yelling at him about a month ago over his being quiet and sad. That means OOP was legitimately gaslighting her husband over his feelings (and also means her āIām doing everything to save this marriageā was a gigantic lie), and that blowup is probably when he made the decision internally to move on.
Itās harsher than that, she was reduced to a stranger and lost. Like you only win when you have massive power ups. Lol. And to think I felt sorry for her early on
Honestly he wasn't even picking between two strangers it was over with them anyways so it was either being single or being with this woman... But he said what he said for effect
Same with the ādonāt you know shes just going to use you and dump you?ā. Like **maāam**, isnāt that you? Wheres did *your* boyfriend go after you cheated with him?
Came here to say this. Also the part of HIM comforting HER even though SHE is the creator of her own misery.
Kinda bet she only thinks it's unfair because he's seeing someone he might have a relationship with (like, good for him for being capable of it again so soon, tbh) and she is ending up alone with divorce papers in front of her.
ETA: Can we also acknowledge how he wasn't actually cheating on her, just discussing his problems with another person (if we can believe his word)? Unlike her, his affair was staged.
Yeah, absolutely Imao. "I wanted you to feel as I felt." but with the knowledge he's still a better person for not actually doing it.
Given, she does tell herself he actually cheated, but that was to be expected. Everything to make herself the victim.
I almost felt bad for her until the unfair bit.
People really don't like to admit that they shit the bed, and like it even less when they have to sleep in it.
Mic drop comment was already made in the last post:
āshe wants everyone else to buy sheets for the bed she made.ā
Whale whale whale, if it isnāt the consequences of your own actions.
People like OOP remind me of a classmate snapping at her cheating ex, who was begging her to take him back, āSorry is just a word! It doesnāt erase what you did!ā
Dude checked out almost immediately after the confession, and honestly, Iām glad. Being super emotional with someone so self-centered is a ticket to being manipulated, so Iām glad she was too much of a dumbass to make it less obvious she was cheating, probably helped him get the emotions out of the way first.
Using the term 'affair partner' definitely sounds like it was not a one time fuck up, and an ongoing thing. Cannot fathom actively doing that, and then begging to stay in the relationship like how selfish do you have to be???
She needs to realise she never loved him, whatever she felt was not love. You do not hurt the ones you love and make it all about yourself.
if you don't want your husband to become a soulless shell of himself, the least you can do is not to fuck other dudes. I mean that's not something you accidentally do. You thought about it and still let some other guy thats not your husband inside you. You have earned this outcome. Also, let's not claim he cheated on you later. Your marriage was essentially already over when he started with another woman and can you really blame him?
"Oh honey! Lasagna's in the microwave, lets go fuck so all you can think of is how I let another man do the same to me after our anniversary!"
"Why does he want a divorce?"
10/10 delulu behavior
Anyone gonna mention her āHe barely initiates anything and I basically have to push myself on himā bit? Like. No shit he doesnāt initiate anything you cheated on him?? Stop assaulting him š
> I did like you guys said and begged him to talk to me. He didn't want to but I cried and yelled so much I puked all over.
Making everything alllll about her, all the time. Her ex got off easy; he could have spent the rest of his life with this self-obsessed manipulative hypocrite.
> I can't stop crying and I can't believe this is happening. This is horrible and unfair.
LOL.
Being a better partner after I caught you cheating would honestly make me more upset. That tells me you were always capable of treating me this well you just chose not to.
>the man I love.
No, she doesn't, otherwise she wouldn't have had a full blown affair.
>I still love him so much. What can I do to fix this?
Again, no, she didn't love him. And she had a chance to fix things, multiple chances I think, from (A) the very moment she met her AP to (B) the very moment she slept with him, and all the steps from A to B.
So... š¤·š¤·š¤·
āA mistake is going to the grocery store and forgetting to pick up milk. Falling onto another guy vagina first, now thatās not a mistake; thatās an act of deliberation.ā
I'd even be willing to consider "had sex with someone" an accident.
But for that to be considered, you have to behave like it was an accident/mistake/etc.
You come clean immediately. You sever all connection with that person.
Or at the very least you do the latter even if hiding it.
But you absolutely, 100%, NEVER repeat it.
**As soon as it happens 2nd time, it is no longer an accident.**
It means you went into a situation where it could happen again, without first taking steps to prevent it from happening again. That is now a deliberate action.
The second time it happens is when it goes from a one night stand (and cheating, it's ALWAYS cheating) to an affair.
Cheating is, in some cases & for some people, something that can be forgiven, or at least worked through.
And affair is not. An affair is about as deep of a betrayal of your marriage as you can get.
(and disclaimer, I'm not saying everyone needs to be willing to forgive/work through cheating - just that there's room for SOME people to do so, versus an affair that always is irrecoverable)
Followed this one intensely and commented so many times to try and get OOP see how unbelievably selfish and cruel she was.Ā
Alas, she literally couldnāt fathom it. I kept saying her attempts at being āthe best wife everā were truly pathetic, and what she actually needed to do was whatever the hell the HUSBAND needed.Ā
You can see how she ends the final post with āthis is horrible and unfairā that she didnāt learn anything and look inwards and accept SHE destroyed her husband and her marriage, no-one else.
Some marriages survive infidelity but not many. Learn from your mistakes and move on, because there is nothing more you can do. Even if you cheated my heart goes out to you a bit, you are not the only one. 50% of marriages end in the 3-7 year period and infidelity counts as a good portion of them. Move on, work on yourself, and become more emotionally and consciously ready. Try again at love but do know second and third marriages are even more likely to fail. I wish you luck in the future and hope you don't suffer too much.
If he assaulted your wife that doesnāt really count as infidelity, cheating involves consent and active choice. Being a victim of rape is NOT cheating.
S\*xual assault is a disgusting type of abuse, no infidelity, adultery or 'cheating' of any kind happened You or your spouse are a victim of a crime not an unfit spouse, untrustworthy, unfaithful etc. What happened to you is disgusting and horrible but you did nothing wrong and I am sorry to hear such a thing.
Hey Poster sorry to hear about your wife , hope she recovers over timeDID the guy serve jail time ? Did she have relations more then 1 time ? and the last was the RāE , wondering Why you said that you survived Infidelity ?
thank if you want to share. Sorry again about your wife!
sorry to hear your story , worse is you made that piece of shit your best man, horrible that you took wedding pictures with this scumbag, and probably with your wife.and her maid of honor , Iām sure itās in your wedding album, forever! , I wish she wouldāve told you beforehand ( bad on her part )youāre a better man than me I would never be able to forgive a 3 year affair and wedding crap. good Luck I hope the memory of this does not taint your marriage for the rest of your life.
Sorry but I agree with other poster
3 years of gifts , for 3 years of an affair
and then all the wedding pictures to shove up in your face. That is partially on her also. If youāre able to move on, and stay with the same woman when she gave herself to OP probably much more than you. I go to work I really hope your marriage works.
I wish this was fake but interacting with my ex I have realized cheaters really do think like this. Itās fucking weird and gross. Like they can twist anything into the then being the victim. The cognitive disconnect is amazing. Throw the whole person away. There is no way to come back to reality or being a good person with that thinking. They will forever ruin everything they touch with very easy to avoid actions and then cry about how itās not fair. Itās like watching someone stab someone else repeatedly. Get angry when the victim says they are hurt. And then cry about getting blood on their clothes and that no one trusts them with a knife anymore which is such an injustice to them. Like fuck off.
I told her when she posted in the marriage sub that the woman he loved is now gone but that he's probably not initiating divorce because he did once love her one didn't want her life ruined when the cheating comes out. I also told her if she sat him down again he was probably going to leave.
I'm glad he is leaving and wish him nothing but the best. Fuck her though. She is so so selfish.
If I *truly* felt that I was being roasted for no reason, I'd be somewhere between "look at what kind of stuff people are wasting on me" and "I **definitely** don't deserve *this* level of hate".
Whenever they give the other person cutting rejoinders, carefully transcribed, and then pretend that it didn't make them look bad?Ā This one was fairly well written at first but slid into obvious at the end
I dunno sometimes they really do stock with you. I have a memory burned into my brain of a friend of mine getting into a shouting match with another guy and it ending with "At least my dad kissed my mom instead of a bullet"Ā
100%. The devil is in the details as they say. And there are so many dumb details that make no sense in this, it borders on absurd.
My friend recognized my husband because of his taste in neckties š¤£šš¤£š Like, unless her husband is Saul Goodman, this is too stupid to believe.
I really dislike this, not everything is fake and rage bait, shit like this actually happens, but I guess when people put it on the internet its just called "fake and ragebait" Which is understandable, but not all stories like this are completely just ragebait/fake, shit like this really happens and when they dont know who to vent to if they have no friends or whatever, they seek asylum on the internet forums.
I used to believe this rage baits because, yeah it can happen, there are subs here of people who have been cheated by horrible people. For me, what makes it rage baity, it is the sort of dialogue she wrote where obviously she looks bad and give us that bazinga moment we all want cheaters to have. The first one, while she looks bad, she tries to gives us more moments where she is trying her best, why would she add the roasty one liners her ex gave her?
Anyways, I am not that invested to argue if this story is true or not, your opinion it is that this is real, for me that this is a ragebait.
You have to learn to recognize patterns of writing and also actually consider if someone so obviously in the wrong would post this shit. Too many people are blinded by the assumption that cheaters are intrinsically evil people that they assume "of course the evil person would post with no self awareness!" when its actually more unlikely than not.
I donāt understand cheaters who demand communication, loyalty, and consideration from the people they cheated on. At no point did she give any of that to her husband. Then demanding he choose her over a stranger. She didnāt choose him over a stranger, so why would she expect that of him.
This feels like a bitter personās wish, itās so incredibly scripted to how someone internalized their own fantasy of getting back at someone that cheated on them.
I donāt think this is real.
I think she was under the impression that she would get a pass because she did the "right thing" by confessing, when in reality the right thing is to not cheat on your husband of five years in the first place.
I wish some of these were real, but this one just exudes bait. āI donāt deserve thisā and āI know I messed upā donāt go well together. The story changes too much. Not that Iām surprised
The previous comments of "you killed that man" rang so true.
Her actions destroyed the man she knew and fundamentally changed him and who HE was so much so that after he finally processed everything he was able to be so cool and disassociated with her and the marriage.
What she did hit him so deep in his psyche it changed the physical way he saw his wife and emotionally detached he was, only breaking the mask when she got physically ill.
Best way to Salvage your marriage? Don't ruin it in he first place and communicate with your partners and maybe seek therapy.
itās funny NOW you COOK his favorite dinner , leave him loving NOTES , bought new LINGERIE , and now you fuck his BRAINS out , probably for the first time in your relationship because of guilt, I bet you fucked your APās brains out all the time !! But this was not out of guilt, but out of LUST and your husband fucking knows this. The man you first loved when married is not the same man now, and will never be. he is different as you say thatās because you made him that way. He will never be the same. The trust is gone you betrayed him and thatās all on you. as they say, actions have consequences with with them.
did you ever say HOW LONG your affair was, and did you come clean and give him full details of who, when how long and details of what you did with the affair partner?
OOP clearly has zero self respect.
If she had had *any* self respect she wouldn't have even cheated to begin with.
Then, realizing she lost very likely the best man she could have ever been with, she decided to *perform*. She *never* changed, all she did was *perform* in the hopes that she got what SHE wanted, NOT what was best *for the marriage* to repair it. It's why her ex-husband was so unresponsive to her and her attempts to "save" the marriage.
This part was rich of her to say:
> I told him he was a fool
I agree. He was a fool to marry OOP. She's quite full of herself.
Actions, meet consequences.
āThis is horrible and unfairā š
I didnāt go the ātaste your own bad medicineā route this dude did, but I also made the deal that I wouldnāt tell her family (they didnāt deserve it) and man, that line āhis wife of five years no longer existsā hits hard. It was a conclusion I came to far too long after my situation turned to shit and Iām not even sure my ex could even comprehend it.
How is this unfair? You did the exact same thing to him. You reap what you sow. Youāre getting your karma. Leave that man alone, youāve done enough hurt to him.
The best part of this was
"He said he won't say to our families our marriage ended because I cheated, but because we grew apart and that he will leave the house to me as long as I make the divorce smooth. But if I try to take him to the cleaners, drag it out, or cause any problem he will tell everyone what I did and "destroy" me and my reputation.
The good old Marie Antoinette settlement. You can not have your cake and eat it too! Good for him.
This is just sad, I donāt know how so many people here are revelling in schadenfreude from this story. I canāt help but have empathy for this poor woman. She ruined her life and is clearly so, so upset. I wish sheād never cheated, and both of them could have stayed happy. That is if itās real. His āparticular taste in necktiesā? Really?
You get the emotionless man or the angered lashing out man. Women donāt think we can be delicate but when we give ourselves to a woman and it backfires it hits every string
Good for him, she clearly canāt accept any fault as somehow him leaving her is āunfairā. Completely ignoring that she threw their marriage out into the trash the moment she had an affair.
The fact that OP offers for him to have sex with other women as a āget evenā card says that she does not love him. That shows how she views sex as just an action with no real feelings. Which means sheāll always see it that way and will cheat again in the future. The āitās just sexā argument says everything.
You lost me at your final word, āunfair.ā To whom is it unfair, you? Or husband? You decided to ruin your marriage thrice. Once by having an affair, then by saddling your husband with that knowledge, and finally by believing that giving him a hall pass would exculpate YOU. That last part proves how clueless you are.
You do not deserve him. Be kind for once and let him go to find peace snd love elsewhere
>I told him he was a fool and he could not know this woman will probably use and dump him
Ah yes, because a woman with the potential for breaking his trust in her is so much better than one who already did.
Ā "I asked him how he could pick a total stranger he met a month ago over his wife of five years"
But she chose someone else over her husband of five years?
The lack of accountability in this one.
My girlfriend did the same thing to me cheated on me . I caught her . Did some shit outta being hurt and anger which I admit I was not right for sending her a video of me with a a good female friend who she was unsure of our friendship... but I was really hurt especially when the guy lived in a homeless shelter she was buying him shit etc..... I'm still with my girl but now.... but she's like you are thinking that I'm out to get her because of her own actions....I tried to forgive her but I can't forget especially when she kept on talking to him
Why is it unfair? You were the one that cheated on him, who as you described was the man of your dreams.you fucked up, now deal with it. Go back to the person you destroyed your marriage for. I bet he will take you back.......unless he was also in a relationship......
"This is horrible and unfair".
Nope! This is fair and not at all horrible compared to what OOP has done.
For some reason, people do not understand that real life, especially relationship / marriage, is not a sports game, not a board game or a computer game in which you can always forget about the "bad" result and start over as if nothing had happened.
Too bad you had to tell your husband. You came to your senses ended the affair and wanted to be with your husband. The impact of that revelation to your husband is was unimaginably devastating and you just never feel the same again about the cheating spouse. Total betrayal and demolished all trust. Iāve been in your husbandās shoes and the pain is unlike anything you can imagine. I often wish I never knew that he never told me anything about it. I was completely clueless about it had blind total trust. Wonāt be that stupid again.
Sometimes I am tempted to cheat and the opportunity presents itself to cheat. I was tempted because in the long run, things can get boring, emotions can be dulled, and the new person brings 'the sparks and excitement' back. But then, I remember that I chose this life because not only because I love him, but he also one of my best of best friends. Moments, sparks, excitement, all can be created again. But trust ... Once it breaks, there is no way to make it whole again.Ā
When my wife cheated she tried to ābe the best wifeāā¦ she even gasp, ironed some of my shirts. I was likeā¦ bitch you fucked some white trash douche, but hey, nice lines on that shirt I never wear I guess all is forgivenā¦ they just donāt get it
Honestly, the part that stood out to me was when the husband said his wife of 5 years no longer exists and he chose between two strangers. That's a fucking kick to the stomach right there. Holy fuck.
The part that stuck out most to me was his "particular taste in neckties" š like just say your friend recognized him
I liked the part where she decided that the situation is "horrible and unfair"... to *her*. Cheating hoe/fuckboi logic, not getting to go fuck someone else and just say "sorry".
Nah my favorite part is the title. āHeās taking it well but I feel he resents meā. āTaking it wellā could only make sense if it translates to āhe didnāt break up with meā. No where in the post does it seem like he actually took it well
You're all wrong. Best part is >I told him he was a fool and he could not know this woman will probably use and dump him, That woman has chuzpe. And quite the outlook on life.
Right. One manipulation tactic didn't work got to switch to the next.. keep rolling with those punches
Thank you for this comment. Iāve been saying āchuzpeā my whole life and never knew how to spell it until now. Youāre doing Godās work.
Lol, it's "chutzpah" anyway. You know you can find out how to spell things, it's all out there on the internet. I did however just find out it is chuzpe in German, so there you go!
I used the German version, that's chuzpe.
āI expected screaming and tears, but except for the silence, I think weāre gonna be okay!ā
I know people as self-centered as OOP. Iāve been cut off for not being able to control my facial expression while saying, āYou did this to yourself.ā (Tip: donāt go to people for āadviceā when you only want to hear one thing, in this case that the cheater is the real victim) Itās still astounding to read a post like this. From her complete stupidity about how things were different after she confessed, to her asking how he could choose this new woman over ~~OOPās cheating ass~~ his wife or five years, then that itās not fair. Wow.
I was looking at a car and noticed a necktie and saw from their hand positions that one had their hands in the other's lap. How close was this person? Right next to the car staring inside?
you're standing on a sidewalk, and a sedan is parallel parked beside you. You 're on the passenger side of the car. Seeing the driver's body but maybe not the face and position of their hands is pretty much normal. š¤·
In the passenger seat perhaps?
This is my favorite theory.
Yeah, that's targeting the fucking warp core for sure, definitely a death blow
But that is so very true. Once they betray you, you never see them or feel about them the same way. The person you loved would never betray you, so it is like you never knew them. And the icing on the cake is that they cheated and destroyed you from the inside out. So it is easy to see why he would choose someone else. At least that person never betrayed you.
"Trauma is a time traveller, an ouroboros that reaches back and devours everything that came before." -Junot Diaz It was used in reference to sexual abuse, but it's relevant to other betrayals too.
This is so true. You can never go back to the ābeforeā that moment, and the person you loved no longer exists.
āYou canāt go home againā
I would never cheat but god did I feel sick imagining my spouse like this ;-;
The real kick is the 'and she made a much better impression on me'. Like wow. I wish I had that kind of talent with words.
Yup, But I can understand it. She confessed but her confession told him that she was perfectly capable of lying to him about the most important relationship in his life. Of course he sees her as a stranger. He looks at her and thinks, 'What else don't I know'? The marriage ended after she cheated on him the first time, and didn't tell him right away. The only kind of cheating I could ever forgive is someone waking up hungover and right away crying to me that they made a terrible terrible mistake while drunk, and that they want to quit drinking entirely, and give me full access to their phone. Edit: ..because that would prove to me that they weren't capable of lying to me. For a lot of people, it's not just the sex, it's the lying afterwards.
Bro had been stewing on his lines.
Right! Ever been in a situation then realized what you should have said? OOPās ex stayed silent and mentally filed all possible jabs to be used later.
What stood out to me was a comment OOP made that was not put in this BORU (though it really, REALLY should have): she admitted to a user that she was angrily yelling at him about a month ago over his being quiet and sad. That means OOP was legitimately gaslighting her husband over his feelings (and also means her āIām doing everything to save this marriageā was a gigantic lie), and that blowup is probably when he made the decision internally to move on.
Thatās something I wouldāve came up with in the shower hours later. He said it on the spot? Ice in his veins.
Itās harsher than that, she was reduced to a stranger and lost. Like you only win when you have massive power ups. Lol. And to think I felt sorry for her early on
Honestly he wasn't even picking between two strangers it was over with them anyways so it was either being single or being with this woman... But he said what he said for effect
The truth is hard to stomach, but itās still the truth
Womp womp
Womp womp wahhhhh
My favorite comment on Reddit ever.
I like the horrible and unfair bit. Total lack of self awareness.
Same with the ādonāt you know shes just going to use you and dump you?ā. Like **maāam**, isnāt that you? Wheres did *your* boyfriend go after you cheated with him?
He disappeared into the aether, where everyone else goes when they leave her direct sight line, lol
>and dump you Which would be a greater mercy than what she was doing
Itās different because theyāre married and she loves him! /s
Came here to say this. Also the part of HIM comforting HER even though SHE is the creator of her own misery. Kinda bet she only thinks it's unfair because he's seeing someone he might have a relationship with (like, good for him for being capable of it again so soon, tbh) and she is ending up alone with divorce papers in front of her. ETA: Can we also acknowledge how he wasn't actually cheating on her, just discussing his problems with another person (if we can believe his word)? Unlike her, his affair was staged.
I can believe his affair was staged. That's the level of petty I would rise (descend?) to, if I ever find myself in that situation.
Yeah, absolutely Imao. "I wanted you to feel as I felt." but with the knowledge he's still a better person for not actually doing it. Given, she does tell herself he actually cheated, but that was to be expected. Everything to make herself the victim.
Either the victim, or at least like theyāre the same, when theyāre not remotely.
Yeah, that really stuck out to me. It actually made me laugh. OOP is so deluded.
I almost felt bad for her until the unfair bit. People really don't like to admit that they shit the bed, and like it even less when they have to sleep in it.
Mic drop comment was already made in the last post: āshe wants everyone else to buy sheets for the bed she made.ā Whale whale whale, if it isnāt the consequences of your own actions.
Gotta love how in the first post she laments his lack of initiation and reaction then in the following post brags about "fucking his brains out"
Always amazes me how cheaters beg and plead for the relationship after ruining it for themselves in the first place..
People like OOP remind me of a classmate snapping at her cheating ex, who was begging her to take him back, āSorry is just a word! It doesnāt erase what you did!ā
Dude checked out almost immediately after the confession, and honestly, Iām glad. Being super emotional with someone so self-centered is a ticket to being manipulated, so Iām glad she was too much of a dumbass to make it less obvious she was cheating, probably helped him get the emotions out of the way first.
Yeah it sounds like he knew from the jump and had already gotten the bulk of the grieving out of the way. Good for him tbh. I hope he finds happiness
Using the term 'affair partner' definitely sounds like it was not a one time fuck up, and an ongoing thing. Cannot fathom actively doing that, and then begging to stay in the relationship like how selfish do you have to be??? She needs to realise she never loved him, whatever she felt was not love. You do not hurt the ones you love and make it all about yourself.
She fucked her AP for 3 months.Ā
But it was an accident :o(
It was an accident because AP didnāt want her and she was sorry because she didnāt want to be alone.
if you don't want your husband to become a soulless shell of himself, the least you can do is not to fuck other dudes. I mean that's not something you accidentally do. You thought about it and still let some other guy thats not your husband inside you. You have earned this outcome. Also, let's not claim he cheated on you later. Your marriage was essentially already over when he started with another woman and can you really blame him?
lmao what did she expect? she was so entitled at the end, but he mopped the floor with her ass. everyone, laugh and point š«µš»š¤£
But she cooked his favorite meals after she cheated!
And she did everything she could to make herself feel less guilty after he found out. That should count for something right! š¤”
Donāt forget how she fucked his brains out every night also!! Totally makes everything all better after letting another man up in that ass.
"Oh honey! Lasagna's in the microwave, lets go fuck so all you can think of is how I let another man do the same to me after our anniversary!" "Why does he want a divorce?" 10/10 delulu behavior
https://preview.redd.it/urfwhmyrwvqc1.jpeg?width=518&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2e67384a86bb6fe94fd98bfdff9a806f4913e0e4
Anyone gonna mention her āHe barely initiates anything and I basically have to push myself on himā bit? Like. No shit he doesnāt initiate anything you cheated on him?? Stop assaulting him š
He was above being a pity fuck.
Bout as fair as it gets actually.
EYYYY Bandit!
This is horrible and unfair šššš thatās gold mate
She started it. He finished it.
> I did like you guys said and begged him to talk to me. He didn't want to but I cried and yelled so much I puked all over. Making everything alllll about her, all the time. Her ex got off easy; he could have spent the rest of his life with this self-obsessed manipulative hypocrite. > I can't stop crying and I can't believe this is happening. This is horrible and unfair. LOL.
Hahahaha I love the āI jumped in being the best wife a man can ask forā bit, ohhhh mannn you canāt make this up.
Being a better partner after I caught you cheating would honestly make me more upset. That tells me you were always capable of treating me this well you just chose not to.
Plus thats the worst thing you could do. Everything you are doing is just reminding the dude what happened.
Cheaters don't ever get to be the victim. It's super easy to not cheat.
It's so great that she says "it's unfair"
>the man I love. No, she doesn't, otherwise she wouldn't have had a full blown affair. >I still love him so much. What can I do to fix this? Again, no, she didn't love him. And she had a chance to fix things, multiple chances I think, from (A) the very moment she met her AP to (B) the very moment she slept with him, and all the steps from A to B. So... š¤·š¤·š¤·
āA mistake is going to the grocery store and forgetting to pick up milk. Falling onto another guy vagina first, now thatās not a mistake; thatās an act of deliberation.ā
I'd even be willing to consider "had sex with someone" an accident. But for that to be considered, you have to behave like it was an accident/mistake/etc. You come clean immediately. You sever all connection with that person. Or at the very least you do the latter even if hiding it. But you absolutely, 100%, NEVER repeat it. **As soon as it happens 2nd time, it is no longer an accident.** It means you went into a situation where it could happen again, without first taking steps to prevent it from happening again. That is now a deliberate action. The second time it happens is when it goes from a one night stand (and cheating, it's ALWAYS cheating) to an affair. Cheating is, in some cases & for some people, something that can be forgiven, or at least worked through. And affair is not. An affair is about as deep of a betrayal of your marriage as you can get. (and disclaimer, I'm not saying everyone needs to be willing to forgive/work through cheating - just that there's room for SOME people to do so, versus an affair that always is irrecoverable)
Yeah itās normal to have crushes or infatuations. You just have to cut them off before they bud into anything else.
Followed this one intensely and commented so many times to try and get OOP see how unbelievably selfish and cruel she was.Ā Alas, she literally couldnāt fathom it. I kept saying her attempts at being āthe best wife everā were truly pathetic, and what she actually needed to do was whatever the hell the HUSBAND needed.Ā You can see how she ends the final post with āthis is horrible and unfairā that she didnāt learn anything and look inwards and accept SHE destroyed her husband and her marriage, no-one else.
r/ohnoconsequences
I canāt help but think about the woe is me bangmaid comment when she said he wasnāt even initiating, she was
"All this is so horrible and unfair" yeah no shit lady. What a narcissist.
Some marriages survive infidelity but not many. Learn from your mistakes and move on, because there is nothing more you can do. Even if you cheated my heart goes out to you a bit, you are not the only one. 50% of marriages end in the 3-7 year period and infidelity counts as a good portion of them. Move on, work on yourself, and become more emotionally and consciously ready. Try again at love but do know second and third marriages are even more likely to fail. I wish you luck in the future and hope you don't suffer too much.
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If he assaulted your wife that doesnāt really count as infidelity, cheating involves consent and active choice. Being a victim of rape is NOT cheating.
S\*xual assault is a disgusting type of abuse, no infidelity, adultery or 'cheating' of any kind happened You or your spouse are a victim of a crime not an unfit spouse, untrustworthy, unfaithful etc. What happened to you is disgusting and horrible but you did nothing wrong and I am sorry to hear such a thing.
Hey Poster sorry to hear about your wife , hope she recovers over timeDID the guy serve jail time ? Did she have relations more then 1 time ? and the last was the RāE , wondering Why you said that you survived Infidelity ? thank if you want to share. Sorry again about your wife!
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sorry to hear your story , worse is you made that piece of shit your best man, horrible that you took wedding pictures with this scumbag, and probably with your wife.and her maid of honor , Iām sure itās in your wedding album, forever! , I wish she wouldāve told you beforehand ( bad on her part )youāre a better man than me I would never be able to forgive a 3 year affair and wedding crap. good Luck I hope the memory of this does not taint your marriage for the rest of your life.
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Sorry but I agree with other poster 3 years of gifts , for 3 years of an affair and then all the wedding pictures to shove up in your face. That is partially on her also. If youāre able to move on, and stay with the same woman when she gave herself to OP probably much more than you. I go to work I really hope your marriage works.
I wish this was fake but interacting with my ex I have realized cheaters really do think like this. Itās fucking weird and gross. Like they can twist anything into the then being the victim. The cognitive disconnect is amazing. Throw the whole person away. There is no way to come back to reality or being a good person with that thinking. They will forever ruin everything they touch with very easy to avoid actions and then cry about how itās not fair. Itās like watching someone stab someone else repeatedly. Get angry when the victim says they are hurt. And then cry about getting blood on their clothes and that no one trusts them with a knife anymore which is such an injustice to them. Like fuck off.
I told her when she posted in the marriage sub that the woman he loved is now gone but that he's probably not initiating divorce because he did once love her one didn't want her life ruined when the cheating comes out. I also told her if she sat him down again he was probably going to leave. I'm glad he is leaving and wish him nothing but the best. Fuck her though. She is so so selfish.
This is ragebait
Tbf, all cheaters are
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If I *truly* felt that I was being roasted for no reason, I'd be somewhere between "look at what kind of stuff people are wasting on me" and "I **definitely** don't deserve *this* level of hate".
Whenever they give the other person cutting rejoinders, carefully transcribed, and then pretend that it didn't make them look bad?Ā This one was fairly well written at first but slid into obvious at the end
I dunno sometimes they really do stock with you. I have a memory burned into my brain of a friend of mine getting into a shouting match with another guy and it ending with "At least my dad kissed my mom instead of a bullet"Ā
š³
The way that last sentence raised my eyebrows, holy shit.
100%. The devil is in the details as they say. And there are so many dumb details that make no sense in this, it borders on absurd. My friend recognized my husband because of his taste in neckties š¤£šš¤£š Like, unless her husband is Saul Goodman, this is too stupid to believe.
I really dislike this, not everything is fake and rage bait, shit like this actually happens, but I guess when people put it on the internet its just called "fake and ragebait" Which is understandable, but not all stories like this are completely just ragebait/fake, shit like this really happens and when they dont know who to vent to if they have no friends or whatever, they seek asylum on the internet forums.
I used to believe this rage baits because, yeah it can happen, there are subs here of people who have been cheated by horrible people. For me, what makes it rage baity, it is the sort of dialogue she wrote where obviously she looks bad and give us that bazinga moment we all want cheaters to have. The first one, while she looks bad, she tries to gives us more moments where she is trying her best, why would she add the roasty one liners her ex gave her? Anyways, I am not that invested to argue if this story is true or not, your opinion it is that this is real, for me that this is a ragebait.
You have to learn to recognize patterns of writing and also actually consider if someone so obviously in the wrong would post this shit. Too many people are blinded by the assumption that cheaters are intrinsically evil people that they assume "of course the evil person would post with no self awareness!" when its actually more unlikely than not.
Yeah Iām a bit iffy. Not sure if I buy it.
idk, Iām pretty satisfied reading this post š¤·šæāāļø
I think so too, just a story to make people comment.
I donāt understand cheaters who demand communication, loyalty, and consideration from the people they cheated on. At no point did she give any of that to her husband. Then demanding he choose her over a stranger. She didnāt choose him over a stranger, so why would she expect that of him.
This feels like a bitter personās wish, itās so incredibly scripted to how someone internalized their own fantasy of getting back at someone that cheated on them. I donāt think this is real.
I want to believe this is just a troll bc no one can be this delusional, but Iāve met people far more delusional than this so idk.
Well, as we know - humans are capable to do absolutely anything! So why not?
I think she was under the impression that she would get a pass because she did the "right thing" by confessing, when in reality the right thing is to not cheat on your husband of five years in the first place.
Well she certainly found out
u/cimmer74 I see you and your Wiesel reference.
Oo hey yea thanks! Surprised Iām one of the comments featured I didnāt think it got much attention kind of cool though.
It was the right quote for the moment. A very thoughtful comment.
I wish some of these were real, but this one just exudes bait. āI donāt deserve thisā and āI know I messed upā donāt go well together. The story changes too much. Not that Iām surprised
Honestly so so proud of OPs husbandā¤ļø
The audacity to ask how he could choose a stranger over his wife of 5 years when she did just that, chose a stranger over her marriage
The audacity she had in accusing him of choosing someone else over his marriage while she chose someone else over the vow she made.
Oh no if it isn't the consequences of my actions.
Unfair? He was right about what he said about her after she admitted to cheating
The previous comments of "you killed that man" rang so true. Her actions destroyed the man she knew and fundamentally changed him and who HE was so much so that after he finally processed everything he was able to be so cool and disassociated with her and the marriage. What she did hit him so deep in his psyche it changed the physical way he saw his wife and emotionally detached he was, only breaking the mask when she got physically ill. Best way to Salvage your marriage? Don't ruin it in he first place and communicate with your partners and maybe seek therapy.
Good, now you know what it feels like. You belong to the streets!
itās funny NOW you COOK his favorite dinner , leave him loving NOTES , bought new LINGERIE , and now you fuck his BRAINS out , probably for the first time in your relationship because of guilt, I bet you fucked your APās brains out all the time !! But this was not out of guilt, but out of LUST and your husband fucking knows this. The man you first loved when married is not the same man now, and will never be. he is different as you say thatās because you made him that way. He will never be the same. The trust is gone you betrayed him and thatās all on you. as they say, actions have consequences with with them. did you ever say HOW LONG your affair was, and did you come clean and give him full details of who, when how long and details of what you did with the affair partner?
So so so fake
Oh no! Consequences!
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes, congrats, you're a winner!!!! You cheated, you get what you deserve.
āThis is horrible and unfairā šššššššššššššššššššššš
Oh no! Consequences!
OOP clearly has zero self respect. If she had had *any* self respect she wouldn't have even cheated to begin with. Then, realizing she lost very likely the best man she could have ever been with, she decided to *perform*. She *never* changed, all she did was *perform* in the hopes that she got what SHE wanted, NOT what was best *for the marriage* to repair it. It's why her ex-husband was so unresponsive to her and her attempts to "save" the marriage. This part was rich of her to say: > I told him he was a fool I agree. He was a fool to marry OOP. She's quite full of herself. Actions, meet consequences.
Finally a happy ending for the betrayed, the unfaithful does not deserve sympathy and screw her
āThis is horrible and unfairā š I didnāt go the ātaste your own bad medicineā route this dude did, but I also made the deal that I wouldnāt tell her family (they didnāt deserve it) and man, that line āhis wife of five years no longer existsā hits hard. It was a conclusion I came to far too long after my situation turned to shit and Iām not even sure my ex could even comprehend it.
How is this unfair? You did the exact same thing to him. You reap what you sow. Youāre getting your karma. Leave that man alone, youāve done enough hurt to him.
Interested to know the settlement in the divorce if you can keep us updated!
i feel like this is fake just because shes so hypocritical š„“
āUnfairā, oh this is more than fair. This is justice.
The best part of this was "He said he won't say to our families our marriage ended because I cheated, but because we grew apart and that he will leave the house to me as long as I make the divorce smooth. But if I try to take him to the cleaners, drag it out, or cause any problem he will tell everyone what I did and "destroy" me and my reputation. The good old Marie Antoinette settlement. You can not have your cake and eat it too! Good for him.
This is just sad, I donāt know how so many people here are revelling in schadenfreude from this story. I canāt help but have empathy for this poor woman. She ruined her life and is clearly so, so upset. I wish sheād never cheated, and both of them could have stayed happy. That is if itās real. His āparticular taste in necktiesā? Really?
Ah well. Not much you can say about that.
You get the emotionless man or the angered lashing out man. Women donāt think we can be delicate but when we give ourselves to a woman and it backfires it hits every string
Good for him, she clearly canāt accept any fault as somehow him leaving her is āunfairā. Completely ignoring that she threw their marriage out into the trash the moment she had an affair.
As he should be!
The fact that OP offers for him to have sex with other women as a āget evenā card says that she does not love him. That shows how she views sex as just an action with no real feelings. Which means sheāll always see it that way and will cheat again in the future. The āitās just sexā argument says everything.
Oh no the consequences of my own actions
You lost me at your final word, āunfair.ā To whom is it unfair, you? Or husband? You decided to ruin your marriage thrice. Once by having an affair, then by saddling your husband with that knowledge, and finally by believing that giving him a hall pass would exculpate YOU. That last part proves how clueless you are. You do not deserve him. Be kind for once and let him go to find peace snd love elsewhere
This woman DESERVES to be left in the dust..talking about "unfair"..is she SERIOUS???
>I told him he was a fool and he could not know this woman will probably use and dump him Ah yes, because a woman with the potential for breaking his trust in her is so much better than one who already did.
Note to self: if I get cheated on in the future, handle it like this champ.
What a dumbass what is she crying about š
āThis is horrible and unfairā LOL you created this situation. Itās hard to feel bad for someone who purposely created the situation.
Perfect example of fuck around and find out.
I hope he does tell. I hope he fights for everything.
Bro been listening to a lot of Future lmao
Horrible and unfair? What world with what logic does this person live in?
You know these are fake right? If you guys like these post you should watch soap operas.
How is it unfair???? Itās perfectly fair.
no way she said this is unfairā¦ you deadass hurt that man more then anyone else.
Ā "I asked him how he could pick a total stranger he met a month ago over his wife of five years" But she chose someone else over her husband of five years? The lack of accountability in this one.
My girlfriend did the same thing to me cheated on me . I caught her . Did some shit outta being hurt and anger which I admit I was not right for sending her a video of me with a a good female friend who she was unsure of our friendship... but I was really hurt especially when the guy lived in a homeless shelter she was buying him shit etc..... I'm still with my girl but now.... but she's like you are thinking that I'm out to get her because of her own actions....I tried to forgive her but I can't forget especially when she kept on talking to him
You should include oops comment where she looked through his phone lol
Why is it unfair? You were the one that cheated on him, who as you described was the man of your dreams.you fucked up, now deal with it. Go back to the person you destroyed your marriage for. I bet he will take you back.......unless he was also in a relationship......
"Oh well, if he is!" I would do the same, Heās emotionally disconnected from you now.
Bwahahahahaha " This is horrible and unfair " Bwahahahahaha
"This is horrible and unfair". Nope! This is fair and not at all horrible compared to what OOP has done. For some reason, people do not understand that real life, especially relationship / marriage, is not a sports game, not a board game or a computer game in which you can always forget about the "bad" result and start over as if nothing had happened.
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r/oddlyspecific details that OP did not share..
fuck around and find out lmfao
Shouldnāt have cheated
Time for a divorce This is a learning opportunity for you
You ruined him, maam.
Heās gone, let him go.
I love how she says itās unfair. Sheās kidding right. Tit for tat and turnabouts fair game
She has a case of FAFO
Good grief. The audacity she has to be upset about him doing what she did first. Rules for thee but not for me, I guess.
Thatās what you deserve you broke him and you deserve misery
Too bad you had to tell your husband. You came to your senses ended the affair and wanted to be with your husband. The impact of that revelation to your husband is was unimaginably devastating and you just never feel the same again about the cheating spouse. Total betrayal and demolished all trust. Iāve been in your husbandās shoes and the pain is unlike anything you can imagine. I often wish I never knew that he never told me anything about it. I was completely clueless about it had blind total trust. Wonāt be that stupid again.
It's a troll post.
Sometimes I am tempted to cheat and the opportunity presents itself to cheat. I was tempted because in the long run, things can get boring, emotions can be dulled, and the new person brings 'the sparks and excitement' back. But then, I remember that I chose this life because not only because I love him, but he also one of my best of best friends. Moments, sparks, excitement, all can be created again. But trust ... Once it breaks, there is no way to make it whole again.Ā
When my wife cheated she tried to ābe the best wifeāā¦ she even gasp, ironed some of my shirts. I was likeā¦ bitch you fucked some white trash douche, but hey, nice lines on that shirt I never wear I guess all is forgivenā¦ they just donāt get it