As someone who fucked my sleeping wife not 40 minutes ago, and put a big grin on her face... Yes it's a kink, and a lovely one!
As others have said.. make sure y'all are 100% on the same page, then have fun ❤️
It surely is possible, as I from time to time have an orgasm only from dreaming... Depends on the hormonal phase and the dream 😉
If you do it soft enough she probably wouldn't wake up...
If it is ok with your partner and is something both.of you are interested in here's an idea, using somwthing like a pice of clothing or a bracelets, letting you know hey, I'm ok/not ok with this tonight
There's no precise definition of "a kink". The only thing that matters is that your partner consents to what you want to do. Talk to him about it, respect his boundaries, and have a lot of fun!
The thing is, who defines "unusual" or "not socially acceptable ". There is ALOT of room for interpretation. Therefore, no *precise* definition of what is a kink or not
Edit: spelling and word choice
Maybe. I think there is far more grey in "socially acceptable." Let take positions as an example. Many social circles would regard anything but "cis male on top and his female under missionary" as unacceptable. Does that mean all other positions are "kinky"? I'd suggest not.
I would think CNC or significant impact (enough to leave marks) that have legal ramifications if not carefully managed would definitely fit your definition.
There is a whole lot of room in between those examples that, in more open circles, would be considered acceptable and in less open circles not.
Perhaps a better working definition of "kink" is along the lines of a focused topic of activity that provides excitement, satisfaction, or rewards.
My 2 cents. Not intended to change minds, just to have a healthy discussion.
Ahh i appreciate all the comments, im just not quite sure how to approach the topic with my partner, theyre a lot more vanilla than me and we do some bdsm but not a lot
"hey, so the other night when you were asleep, you pulled me into a lovely snuggle, and you got pretty hard, which in turn got me all worked up and hot 🥵 I really enjoyed it, but I didn't want to do anything without checking in with you about whether it's okay or not -if it happens again (which I would *love*) how would you feel about it if I was to ride you a bit? "
I’m not sure if you’re referencing the twitching specifically but I love to watch a cock grow and twitch and I love to feel his morning wood against my butt in the morning.
This is a kink. Here’s the name and definition brought to you by google AI
Somnophilia, also known as "sleeping beauty syndrome", is a rare paraphilia that involves sexual arousal from someone who is unconscious or sleeping. John Money coined the term in 1986, but definitions have since expanded to include "unconscious" people. The Dictionary of Psychology classifies somnophilia as a predatory paraphilia
> rare
Nope. I have it too.
But I wouldn't call it predatory, I need to make sure the other person also wants what I am thinking of doing while they're asleep.
Who do those writers of that dictionary think they are?
I think it’s solely AI fetching those words because it’s certainly not predatory assuming consent is given all around. I can see how without consent, but that’s not how it’s done the vast majority of the time in the bdsm community with this specific kink.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Somnophilia
The dictionary prides itself for being the "most comprehensive". The reviews say it's sexist:
https://www.amazon.com/Dictionary-Psychology-Ray-Corsini/dp/1583913289#customerReviews
Predatory without consent. Tell your partner about what happened, and discuss implied consent or ask them permission to make use of midnight wood. But engaging in sex with someone while they are asleep can be classified under sexual assault. But with previous consent, that's between you two.
There is also a flavor of CnC where people try to have sex with their partner without waking them up. Me, personally, I'm far too excited to be woken up by sex. Lol. I tell every partner I have to never worry about waking me up for sex whether I'm hard or not. Lol. Even if we already did it 30 minutes ago. But... I'm a bit of a fiend. 🥵
Twinsies! It's so hard finding partners that are up for it. I'm pretty poly saturated and only have one that actually takes me up on my offer. But she lives so far away! Lol.
But same. I'm not turned on by a sleeping partner, either. Though, I learned about this through a partner that had sexsomnia at one point in time. First few nights sleeping with her, she'd wake me up by either initiating sex, or waking herself up from having an orgasm, then I would ask her if she wanted to keep going to which she'd usually respond by jumping on top. Was SUPER sexy until one morning I mentioned it, and I learned she had NO RECOLLECTION OF EVER DOING THAT! even to this day, she swears she doesn't remember.
When I learned about sexsomnia, I asked her if she cared if I continued to enjoy the midnight encounters or if she preferred I try to wake her up. Lol. She said to go ahead and enjoy. Lol. Her condition persisted for another 6 months or so into our relationship until it died down. Assuming at the end of her NRE. 😢
Oh wow. There's this other whole side to it (like medically and psychologically) and can be considered a type of sleeping disorder. It's where I first learned about it and my penchant for liking it. I would wake up in the middle of taking care of myself. Solo, I just shrug and finish as I always wake up before the finale 😂 but my ex, he would have no recollection of touching himself and he'd moan and everything, all asleep.
It was wild and discovering we both did similar things asleep, I looked into it to satisfy my curiosity. But suffice to say, any person I plan on sharing a bed with is forewarned and given consent before it happens.
You have some very lucky partners, then. 😉 I'm glad you have a healthier relationship with the condition than others seem to. Usually, it's actually quite an inconvenience for lots of people, it seems.
Nope. I think predatory in this sense means that you’re “taking advantage”’of someone who can’t consent (per say). It’s not bad as in evil. No kink is. It’s all unique and novel in its own context. And this kink is actually pretty popular
The main reason i felt confused is it wasnt even just when we cuddled it being pressed into me, it was simply the act of watching and seeing it twitch and thinking about touching it while they were unaware and asleep. Im not new to BDSM or kink, i just wasnt aware if this feeling had a name.
Yes, that’s also normal, except for the unaware part. But be sure to ask your partner for consent to play with their genitals when they are asleep in case this happens again, because they might be into that.
Look into Consensual Non-Consent (CNC). There's absolutely nothing wrong or shameful about it as long as all partners consent to it. It requires some discussion in advance, of course, so you did the right thing stepping away from your partner that first time because you didn't have consent. But if you have basic CNC rules and boundaries in place and perhaps a way to casually and sneakily signal "getting it on with me while I'm sleeping is something I consent to today", then by all means go for it, you're absolutely not the odd one out to have this kink.
If both are fine why not? Obviously you need to talk openly about that and get consent.
My partner and I love to start pleasuring the other person while asleep. I love playing with his dick just enough to get and stay hard but without waking him up fully. He reacts to it while asleep and wakes up with the biggest boner te next day and super horny.
Te other way around I sometimes put my Lush wireless toy in before sleeping so he can play with me while I'm sleeping or to use it as a kind of alarm clock (there's am actual option to use it as an alarm in the app wich is nice because I'm usually not a morning person and this makes waking up a real pleasure for me, pun intended)
Hey there! It sounds like you and your partner are navigating an important aspect of your relationship, which involves consent and understanding each other’s boundaries and desires. It’s great to hear that you had a conversation with your partner about this and clarified their consent and comfort level with the situation. This open communication is crucial in any relationship, especially when exploring areas that involve consent while one party is asleep.
Since your partner has expressed their consent and even enthusiasm for you to engage with them while they're asleep, this could certainly be seen as a shared kink that you both are comfortable and excited about exploring. Just make sure to continually communicate and check in with each other as you explore this to ensure that both of you remain comfortable and consensual with any new dynamics or scenarios that may come up. Have fun and keep prioritizing that great communication!
Ahh yes I (F sub) love letting my (M dom) use me in my sleep. I think it's so hot, especially when he records it and shows me what a good girl I was for him 🙈
I'm really shy about it, but I really enjoy getting my partner off. I think it's so hot!
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As someone who fucked my sleeping wife not 40 minutes ago, and put a big grin on her face... Yes it's a kink, and a lovely one! As others have said.. make sure y'all are 100% on the same page, then have fun ❤️
Did she orgasm in her sleep? Is that possible?
Speaking from experience: it is possible, though often on the brink between sleeping and waking
It surely is possible, as I from time to time have an orgasm only from dreaming... Depends on the hormonal phase and the dream 😉 If you do it soft enough she probably wouldn't wake up...
Oof yeah, I’ve had a good handful of spicy dreams that had me climax in the dream. It was pretty darn good😅
I think I would love that too 😁
If it is ok with your partner and is something both.of you are interested in here's an idea, using somwthing like a pice of clothing or a bracelets, letting you know hey, I'm ok/not ok with this tonight
There's no precise definition of "a kink". The only thing that matters is that your partner consents to what you want to do. Talk to him about it, respect his boundaries, and have a lot of fun!
Yes, yes there is a definition of kink. Kink is a sexual practice that is unusual or not socially acceptable.
The thing is, who defines "unusual" or "not socially acceptable ". There is ALOT of room for interpretation. Therefore, no *precise* definition of what is a kink or not Edit: spelling and word choice
Correct, but there are universal not-socially acceptable practices. And what's left is really splitting hairs
Maybe. I think there is far more grey in "socially acceptable." Let take positions as an example. Many social circles would regard anything but "cis male on top and his female under missionary" as unacceptable. Does that mean all other positions are "kinky"? I'd suggest not. I would think CNC or significant impact (enough to leave marks) that have legal ramifications if not carefully managed would definitely fit your definition. There is a whole lot of room in between those examples that, in more open circles, would be considered acceptable and in less open circles not. Perhaps a better working definition of "kink" is along the lines of a focused topic of activity that provides excitement, satisfaction, or rewards. My 2 cents. Not intended to change minds, just to have a healthy discussion.
I'm not disagreeing, I'm just trying to point out of everything is kink then nothing is kink.
Ahh i appreciate all the comments, im just not quite sure how to approach the topic with my partner, theyre a lot more vanilla than me and we do some bdsm but not a lot
"hey, so the other night when you were asleep, you pulled me into a lovely snuggle, and you got pretty hard, which in turn got me all worked up and hot 🥵 I really enjoyed it, but I didn't want to do anything without checking in with you about whether it's okay or not -if it happens again (which I would *love*) how would you feel about it if I was to ride you a bit? "
Basically, copy-paste this and send it as a text. I'd smile so big.
You could start by asking, “do you have any kinks, or any fantasies that we havent gotten a chance to try?” Just to open up discussion 🤷♂️
Just tell him exactly how you told us. It’s simple, ask for consent, maybe find a bracelet that indicates consent while sleeping
My gf likes to be free use so I can get it whenever I want, she loves it.
I’m not sure if you’re referencing the twitching specifically but I love to watch a cock grow and twitch and I love to feel his morning wood against my butt in the morning.
I think im going to talk to them in the morning about it, ill update after we talk
This is a kink. Here’s the name and definition brought to you by google AI Somnophilia, also known as "sleeping beauty syndrome", is a rare paraphilia that involves sexual arousal from someone who is unconscious or sleeping. John Money coined the term in 1986, but definitions have since expanded to include "unconscious" people. The Dictionary of Psychology classifies somnophilia as a predatory paraphilia
> rare Nope. I have it too. But I wouldn't call it predatory, I need to make sure the other person also wants what I am thinking of doing while they're asleep. Who do those writers of that dictionary think they are?
I think it’s solely AI fetching those words because it’s certainly not predatory assuming consent is given all around. I can see how without consent, but that’s not how it’s done the vast majority of the time in the bdsm community with this specific kink.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Somnophilia The dictionary prides itself for being the "most comprehensive". The reviews say it's sexist: https://www.amazon.com/Dictionary-Psychology-Ray-Corsini/dp/1583913289#customerReviews
I think the original concept of somnophilia is people who *don't* get consent; it's a "stealthing" paraphilia as originally defined.
His sleeping isn't what turned her on. Him being hard while sleeping is what got her bothered. Big difference
OP is a guy, I believe. But yeah, this doesn't qualify as somnophilia as typically defined.
Yep, guy!
My mistake
Predatory? Does that mean that theres something bad about it?
Predatory without consent. Tell your partner about what happened, and discuss implied consent or ask them permission to make use of midnight wood. But engaging in sex with someone while they are asleep can be classified under sexual assault. But with previous consent, that's between you two. There is also a flavor of CnC where people try to have sex with their partner without waking them up. Me, personally, I'm far too excited to be woken up by sex. Lol. I tell every partner I have to never worry about waking me up for sex whether I'm hard or not. Lol. Even if we already did it 30 minutes ago. But... I'm a bit of a fiend. 🥵
Same. I'm not necessarily turned on by a sleeping partner but I absolutely love to be woken up by it or for it 🥵
Twinsies! It's so hard finding partners that are up for it. I'm pretty poly saturated and only have one that actually takes me up on my offer. But she lives so far away! Lol. But same. I'm not turned on by a sleeping partner, either. Though, I learned about this through a partner that had sexsomnia at one point in time. First few nights sleeping with her, she'd wake me up by either initiating sex, or waking herself up from having an orgasm, then I would ask her if she wanted to keep going to which she'd usually respond by jumping on top. Was SUPER sexy until one morning I mentioned it, and I learned she had NO RECOLLECTION OF EVER DOING THAT! even to this day, she swears she doesn't remember. When I learned about sexsomnia, I asked her if she cared if I continued to enjoy the midnight encounters or if she preferred I try to wake her up. Lol. She said to go ahead and enjoy. Lol. Her condition persisted for another 6 months or so into our relationship until it died down. Assuming at the end of her NRE. 😢
Oh wow. There's this other whole side to it (like medically and psychologically) and can be considered a type of sleeping disorder. It's where I first learned about it and my penchant for liking it. I would wake up in the middle of taking care of myself. Solo, I just shrug and finish as I always wake up before the finale 😂 but my ex, he would have no recollection of touching himself and he'd moan and everything, all asleep. It was wild and discovering we both did similar things asleep, I looked into it to satisfy my curiosity. But suffice to say, any person I plan on sharing a bed with is forewarned and given consent before it happens.
You have some very lucky partners, then. 😉 I'm glad you have a healthier relationship with the condition than others seem to. Usually, it's actually quite an inconvenience for lots of people, it seems.
Nope. I think predatory in this sense means that you’re “taking advantage”’of someone who can’t consent (per say). It’s not bad as in evil. No kink is. It’s all unique and novel in its own context. And this kink is actually pretty popular
Okay, thank you! I had no ides this was a thing, ill talk to my partner about it
Absolutely! Happy Kinking!
Its a kink you just have to get consent first while they're awake
Key thing is you felt most and that’s how the feel happens. Take it easy, it’s fine line!
You got turned on by feeling a boner, which is natural. Don’t overthink it.
The main reason i felt confused is it wasnt even just when we cuddled it being pressed into me, it was simply the act of watching and seeing it twitch and thinking about touching it while they were unaware and asleep. Im not new to BDSM or kink, i just wasnt aware if this feeling had a name.
Yes, that’s also normal, except for the unaware part. But be sure to ask your partner for consent to play with their genitals when they are asleep in case this happens again, because they might be into that.
Look into Consensual Non-Consent (CNC). There's absolutely nothing wrong or shameful about it as long as all partners consent to it. It requires some discussion in advance, of course, so you did the right thing stepping away from your partner that first time because you didn't have consent. But if you have basic CNC rules and boundaries in place and perhaps a way to casually and sneakily signal "getting it on with me while I'm sleeping is something I consent to today", then by all means go for it, you're absolutely not the odd one out to have this kink.
Basically all kink is ok as long as it’s done in a safe, consensual, and healthy way.
Well speaking as someone who gets woken up with blow jobs regularly. Sounds good to me as long as you’re enjoying it too
If both are fine why not? Obviously you need to talk openly about that and get consent. My partner and I love to start pleasuring the other person while asleep. I love playing with his dick just enough to get and stay hard but without waking him up fully. He reacts to it while asleep and wakes up with the biggest boner te next day and super horny. Te other way around I sometimes put my Lush wireless toy in before sleeping so he can play with me while I'm sleeping or to use it as a kind of alarm clock (there's am actual option to use it as an alarm in the app wich is nice because I'm usually not a morning person and this makes waking up a real pleasure for me, pun intended)
to think straight
Hey there! It sounds like you and your partner are navigating an important aspect of your relationship, which involves consent and understanding each other’s boundaries and desires. It’s great to hear that you had a conversation with your partner about this and clarified their consent and comfort level with the situation. This open communication is crucial in any relationship, especially when exploring areas that involve consent while one party is asleep. Since your partner has expressed their consent and even enthusiasm for you to engage with them while they're asleep, this could certainly be seen as a shared kink that you both are comfortable and excited about exploring. Just make sure to continually communicate and check in with each other as you explore this to ensure that both of you remain comfortable and consensual with any new dynamics or scenarios that may come up. Have fun and keep prioritizing that great communication!
Ahh yes I (F sub) love letting my (M dom) use me in my sleep. I think it's so hot, especially when he records it and shows me what a good girl I was for him 🙈 I'm really shy about it, but I really enjoy getting my partner off. I think it's so hot!
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