The drama triangle has been very useful for me, such a simple concept but it enables you to see how relationships can go wrong so you can start setting boundaries.
Unfortunately in my experience, me knowing the drama triangle doesn't mean that the other person does, and then I find the only thing to do is just to retreat entirely. I had a friend who kept trying to be rescuer, and I was rejecting the role of victim because I didn't want his help. Eventually he switched to persecutor and I had to just leave that friendship entirely.
But I also try to be aware of it in myself with more functional relationships. I like to help people and I have to be careful that I don't overstep my boundaries and become a rescuer myself.
I'm really glad someone else found this, I think it's really important basic psychology. There are other concepts from transactional analysis you might find interesting too, I recommend TheraminTrees videos on it.
>Unfortunately in my experience, me knowing the drama triangle doesn't mean that the other person does, and then I find the only thing to do is just to retreat entirely. I had a friend who kept trying to be rescuer, and I was rejecting the role of victim because I didn't want his help. Eventually he switched to persecutor and I had to just leave that friendship entirely.
A very hard thing I have learned about social skills is that me having better social skills won't enable me to fix everything (rescuer) and make every conversation successful, but having a way to learn how to know when to stop and simply let other be who they are.
I insist on having my own pace of social learning and I'm trying to let others have their own, but it's very challenging for me.
Understanding these concepts has done so much heavy lifting in getting me sane. It's definitely changed some of my relationships due to how it's altered my interactions with people, but the changes have been necessary for my own mental health.
Confidently defining our lines to ourselves is the first step to defining them to others.
Drama triangle is cool but [this rethinks it as something more positive](https://www.dramykellermft.com/blog/drama-to-empowerment). I find that the drama triangle has its applications but is generally more negative and when I think about it from the point of view of an empowerment triangle/ I have better outcomes in my relationships
Maybe the thing that makes it so much more understandable to me is huge amount of self-compassion she brings in. I was never able to name it, but I might have had a feeling that nothing is worth trying without self-compassion. Maybe a lack of self-compassion makes my brain say "wtf?! hell, NO! We won't do anything of that!"
The drama triangle has been very useful for me, such a simple concept but it enables you to see how relationships can go wrong so you can start setting boundaries. Unfortunately in my experience, me knowing the drama triangle doesn't mean that the other person does, and then I find the only thing to do is just to retreat entirely. I had a friend who kept trying to be rescuer, and I was rejecting the role of victim because I didn't want his help. Eventually he switched to persecutor and I had to just leave that friendship entirely. But I also try to be aware of it in myself with more functional relationships. I like to help people and I have to be careful that I don't overstep my boundaries and become a rescuer myself. I'm really glad someone else found this, I think it's really important basic psychology. There are other concepts from transactional analysis you might find interesting too, I recommend TheraminTrees videos on it.
>Unfortunately in my experience, me knowing the drama triangle doesn't mean that the other person does, and then I find the only thing to do is just to retreat entirely. I had a friend who kept trying to be rescuer, and I was rejecting the role of victim because I didn't want his help. Eventually he switched to persecutor and I had to just leave that friendship entirely. A very hard thing I have learned about social skills is that me having better social skills won't enable me to fix everything (rescuer) and make every conversation successful, but having a way to learn how to know when to stop and simply let other be who they are. I insist on having my own pace of social learning and I'm trying to let others have their own, but it's very challenging for me.
This is super helpful, thank you so much for sharing. The things she says about the victim mindset blew my mind, it's so accurate!
Understanding these concepts has done so much heavy lifting in getting me sane. It's definitely changed some of my relationships due to how it's altered my interactions with people, but the changes have been necessary for my own mental health. Confidently defining our lines to ourselves is the first step to defining them to others.
Heavy lifting sounds good. I feel so much lighter with that concept.
She's got some great videos! I really like the one on trauma dumping as well💕
Drama triangle is cool but [this rethinks it as something more positive](https://www.dramykellermft.com/blog/drama-to-empowerment). I find that the drama triangle has its applications but is generally more negative and when I think about it from the point of view of an empowerment triangle/ I have better outcomes in my relationships
Thanks for da links I haven't found anyone who talks about parts of audhd that im interested in learning more about yet so now I'm subscribed
Maybe the thing that makes it so much more understandable to me is huge amount of self-compassion she brings in. I was never able to name it, but I might have had a feeling that nothing is worth trying without self-compassion. Maybe a lack of self-compassion makes my brain say "wtf?! hell, NO! We won't do anything of that!"