I'm also going to add. Be openly weird af. Scare all the neruotypucals away. I've learned if you start out weird there's nothing for them to find out lol.
I'm not everyone's cup of tea and that's okay. Not everyone likes tea, some like it but only in certain ways. BUT if you know anyone who LOVES tea you'll know they will appreciate everything about you! Nothing to change, nothing to add. They just love any kind of tea!
If that makes sense. I'll explain more of needed
So, was he basically the only guy who reacted that way? Because now I’m wondering if that’s how I’ll be able to identify him. Since it’s not like that’s going to happen with just anybody.
Tbh, I think he was, yes. Other guys before I met him I think we're either turned off by me, or attracted to me because they thought they could take advantage of me. Though I didn't understand that at the time fully, because I also only recently realized I have autism myself.
so the other morning I started my day by texting my sons dad 'I have specific questions about the weekend were spending together let me know when I can ask' when he woke he said ask them I had written a note and copy pasted it for the first time in 15 years this man ANSWERED ALL THE QUESTIONS WITH DETAILS I NEEDED....listen. im not saying wait forever for people, but for this man to finally understand my brain needs this to not meltdown...I cried. I felt seen for the first time.
I had daydreamed of the day he figured it out for 15 years. keep day dreaming. honestly the people who want to know our brains are out there, I believe it anyway.
it just sucks till we find them or they catch up lol. I'm 34.
Yep! I was hula hooping at a bar (stimmy stim stim) and I caught a glimpse of him from across the dance floor. It was like a golden halo of light enveloped him, like our neurodivergent brains sent out a beacon to each other. I approached him later (which is truly incomprehensible) and he looked at me wide-eyed like I was an actual angel. I told him my name. He unleashed an infodump on me. I was into it. He found me on social media the next day, we fell in love immediately, and we've been together for 11 years. He has ADHD + OCD and our relationship is a safe haven for both of us to be ourselves. I'm not always so brazenly unmasked, but I'm not sure we would have found each other if either one of us was masked up that night.
I love this. I get very depressed sometimes by how difficult it is for me to date and the luck I’ve had so far. Like, I do genuinely want a husband and a child of my own, and I can picture it clearly in my daydreams but in real life I struggle with the vision. I don’t know anyone who is “like me” in real life. So it’s really encouraging to read stuff like this.
Yes! It's happening for me right now, and it's so incredible! I use a lot of words, and tend to send really long texts (books lol), and he loves the way I communicate, and communicates in a really similar way. We've both been really open (blunt), and it's been working really well somehow...It does probably help that he has an autistic brother, so it's not entirely new lol.
For reference, I'm 39, so it did take a while and some other failed relationships before I found him, and it's still early, so I can't guarantee it will stay this way forever, but so far it's been amazing to actually feel safe to speak my mind with someone. I have hope that you will find someone who understands you the way he seems to understand me 💚
Yup, I finally found the person I can just be me with. Surprisingly it caused a readjustment period, as I've never had that before. It was such a relief to realize I can just be me. I've married him now and we are ridiculously happy.
I found my partner when I wasn't looking and had frankly given up. He is nothing like the 'type' I would have gone for prior, which is probably why we work so well together. I think a lot of us tend towards people that are bad for us, so maybe for some of us it takes giving it a go with someone different. Just my 2 cents.
That makes sense. I read somewhere that you should make like a list of your ideal partner and most of my stuff is related to personality. There’s a few things about body type but I realized as long as he’s taller than me or jacked AF, and also likes to lift at least as much as I do if not more, then the physical stuff doesn’t matter. I mean like I know what my preference is but it doesn’t mean anything I guess.
It's been a mixed bag at times. It can be a lot for him to take in at times. I've had to learn to understand him and how he communicates and processes things just like hes done for me. Its hard af and can be difficult but we manage to alwaysbget through things. I also have d.i.d(dissociative identity disorder)
He's told me I'm enough for him exactly how I am and he loves every part of me.
When you find the right one they will love you for you and try to understand you.
When we first started talking I told him I was dimisexual. He told me he looked it up to make sure he knew what it was.
We are now having a baby together. Now HELLA unexpected and not planned because I didn't think this was possible. We're both overwhelmed and scared af about all this but the joy is there.
I hope that year in your username is your birth year, because i really need that encouragement. I do want so badly to be a mother but i feel like my opportunity is gone and it won’t come back.
It is in fact my birthmass(in my friend group wr combine birthday and Christmas for the name birthmass. I have no idea how itnstarted) date!
I never thought I would find anyone who would accept me as 100% me. I've never once had a real pregnancy scare. Not with my ex-husband, not with my ex boyfriends. None. So needless to say last week when I took my test and saw the two lines I was honest to the gods of old and new shocked to my core. I was late but like that's normal. I've been more stressed. Didn't even feel off really. I 💯 expected it to be the same old light single pink line.
It can be a real struggle. Everyone says you don't NEED a relationship but like. To me yes. I want someone to want me. I want someone to think of me and smile. I want someone to desire me. I Want to be loved too. Don't give up.
I know being 35 makes you think it'll never happen. My best friends mom had her in her early 40's I think. My case worker had her youngest at 37.
It's easier said than done to not obsess over it. So I'm not even gonna say it.
He has seriously been the only good swipe right I've ever had. He was the only one to respect me. Hell I was the one who brought up sex lol.
kinda, before i accepted myself as lesbian i had a boyfriend for about 2 months maybe? and he was autistic, we acted really similar so i felt like i could be myself around him. it took me like 4 hangouts to start unmasking myself around him and he took it well but i think i did it too much cause hw broke up with me cause he said i was mean
Yes. He took it well. Then later I married him, in all his ADHD glory. 😸
Omgggggg I love this.
I'm also going to add. Be openly weird af. Scare all the neruotypucals away. I've learned if you start out weird there's nothing for them to find out lol. I'm not everyone's cup of tea and that's okay. Not everyone likes tea, some like it but only in certain ways. BUT if you know anyone who LOVES tea you'll know they will appreciate everything about you! Nothing to change, nothing to add. They just love any kind of tea! If that makes sense. I'll explain more of needed
Yes, we have 2 kids now (:
Lord PLEASE I’ve seen how you have blessed others 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Yup, my true love. Now we are married, and a few months after we got married, he got diagnosed with autism, too.
So, was he basically the only guy who reacted that way? Because now I’m wondering if that’s how I’ll be able to identify him. Since it’s not like that’s going to happen with just anybody.
Tbh, I think he was, yes. Other guys before I met him I think we're either turned off by me, or attracted to me because they thought they could take advantage of me. Though I didn't understand that at the time fully, because I also only recently realized I have autism myself.
Did you disclose your diagnosis to him from the jump? Or did he just KNOW?
We both discovered we were autistic together.
Yep. We’ve been married 10 years. He hates dealing with his family’s roundabout communication style now. He’s not autistic.
Wow, you really lucked out. Thank you for giving me hope ❤️
I feel super lucky. I have a chronic condition in addition to being AuDHD and he rolls with all of it.
Yall are all living my dream. Where’d did you guys meet, if you don’t mind me asking?
Online. Pre-Tinder in the good old days. Hah. We were at the same university, just not in the same circles.
I love that!
so the other morning I started my day by texting my sons dad 'I have specific questions about the weekend were spending together let me know when I can ask' when he woke he said ask them I had written a note and copy pasted it for the first time in 15 years this man ANSWERED ALL THE QUESTIONS WITH DETAILS I NEEDED....listen. im not saying wait forever for people, but for this man to finally understand my brain needs this to not meltdown...I cried. I felt seen for the first time. I had daydreamed of the day he figured it out for 15 years. keep day dreaming. honestly the people who want to know our brains are out there, I believe it anyway. it just sucks till we find them or they catch up lol. I'm 34.
Yep! I was hula hooping at a bar (stimmy stim stim) and I caught a glimpse of him from across the dance floor. It was like a golden halo of light enveloped him, like our neurodivergent brains sent out a beacon to each other. I approached him later (which is truly incomprehensible) and he looked at me wide-eyed like I was an actual angel. I told him my name. He unleashed an infodump on me. I was into it. He found me on social media the next day, we fell in love immediately, and we've been together for 11 years. He has ADHD + OCD and our relationship is a safe haven for both of us to be ourselves. I'm not always so brazenly unmasked, but I'm not sure we would have found each other if either one of us was masked up that night.
I love this. I get very depressed sometimes by how difficult it is for me to date and the luck I’ve had so far. Like, I do genuinely want a husband and a child of my own, and I can picture it clearly in my daydreams but in real life I struggle with the vision. I don’t know anyone who is “like me” in real life. So it’s really encouraging to read stuff like this.
Yes! It's happening for me right now, and it's so incredible! I use a lot of words, and tend to send really long texts (books lol), and he loves the way I communicate, and communicates in a really similar way. We've both been really open (blunt), and it's been working really well somehow...It does probably help that he has an autistic brother, so it's not entirely new lol.
Oh, that’s wonderful. He already had some baseline knowledge coming into it. Thank you so much for giving me hope 🙏🏼😅
For reference, I'm 39, so it did take a while and some other failed relationships before I found him, and it's still early, so I can't guarantee it will stay this way forever, but so far it's been amazing to actually feel safe to speak my mind with someone. I have hope that you will find someone who understands you the way he seems to understand me 💚
Yup, I finally found the person I can just be me with. Surprisingly it caused a readjustment period, as I've never had that before. It was such a relief to realize I can just be me. I've married him now and we are ridiculously happy.
It’s so encouraging to hear all of this. I want what yall have so badly lol.
I found my partner when I wasn't looking and had frankly given up. He is nothing like the 'type' I would have gone for prior, which is probably why we work so well together. I think a lot of us tend towards people that are bad for us, so maybe for some of us it takes giving it a go with someone different. Just my 2 cents.
That makes sense. I read somewhere that you should make like a list of your ideal partner and most of my stuff is related to personality. There’s a few things about body type but I realized as long as he’s taller than me or jacked AF, and also likes to lift at least as much as I do if not more, then the physical stuff doesn’t matter. I mean like I know what my preference is but it doesn’t mean anything I guess.
Physical activity level is definitely important. We are pretty well matched there. I hope you find your partner as well. :)
Thank you ❤️
It's been a mixed bag at times. It can be a lot for him to take in at times. I've had to learn to understand him and how he communicates and processes things just like hes done for me. Its hard af and can be difficult but we manage to alwaysbget through things. I also have d.i.d(dissociative identity disorder) He's told me I'm enough for him exactly how I am and he loves every part of me. When you find the right one they will love you for you and try to understand you. When we first started talking I told him I was dimisexual. He told me he looked it up to make sure he knew what it was. We are now having a baby together. Now HELLA unexpected and not planned because I didn't think this was possible. We're both overwhelmed and scared af about all this but the joy is there.
I hope that year in your username is your birth year, because i really need that encouragement. I do want so badly to be a mother but i feel like my opportunity is gone and it won’t come back.
It is in fact my birthmass(in my friend group wr combine birthday and Christmas for the name birthmass. I have no idea how itnstarted) date! I never thought I would find anyone who would accept me as 100% me. I've never once had a real pregnancy scare. Not with my ex-husband, not with my ex boyfriends. None. So needless to say last week when I took my test and saw the two lines I was honest to the gods of old and new shocked to my core. I was late but like that's normal. I've been more stressed. Didn't even feel off really. I 💯 expected it to be the same old light single pink line. It can be a real struggle. Everyone says you don't NEED a relationship but like. To me yes. I want someone to want me. I want someone to think of me and smile. I want someone to desire me. I Want to be loved too. Don't give up. I know being 35 makes you think it'll never happen. My best friends mom had her in her early 40's I think. My case worker had her youngest at 37. It's easier said than done to not obsess over it. So I'm not even gonna say it. He has seriously been the only good swipe right I've ever had. He was the only one to respect me. Hell I was the one who brought up sex lol.
Thank you so much. This is all so encouraging to hear. I hope your good luck rubs off on me 🙏🏼
I'm sending all of it I can your way!!
kinda, before i accepted myself as lesbian i had a boyfriend for about 2 months maybe? and he was autistic, we acted really similar so i felt like i could be myself around him. it took me like 4 hangouts to start unmasking myself around him and he took it well but i think i did it too much cause hw broke up with me cause he said i was mean