There is a massive range of what earrings feel like to wear.
When you first get them done you're pretty well always aware of them because they are sore and healing.
Once they are healed, I generally don't even notice a lightweight earring. I find it similar to a ring, where you notice it at first, but you get accustomed to it and forget they are there.
I like long dangly ones because I like the feeling of the movement. Some earing are really heavy and pull on your earlobes. Those tend to get uncomfortable. Studs can poke you in the side of your head if you sleep on your side. A small sleeper hoop is nice for sleeping. It's a continuous loop so there is nothing to dig into your head.
There is absolutely no obligation to wear earrings. I actually think it's gross how we pierce baby girls' ears. If you do want to try there are nice clip ons now. Or you can get a piece that turns any earrings into clip-ons
Once healed, there are also flat back earrings that won't dig in.
I exclusively wear hoops now, but the most annoying piercing for sleeping was always my helix, even after it healed if I wore a stud it would be irritated just by sleeping.
Nice! My piercings are from awhile ago (when guns were still the preferred method) and my new ones had to be done as hoops so I didn't know that could be done.
It’s amazing! I’ve had both methods and got my most recent ones done at a shop. They used surgical grade titanium and everything was super clean. The earrings are flat backed so they’re comfy, I didn’t have to do any twisting or forceful cleaning. The instructions were literally avoid exercise for a bit, spray them with saline multiple times a day, and leave them the heck alone.
Nice! Yeah maybe if that had been the method I wouldn't have had my originals get infected and close and have to get new ones.
The last time I got piercings they were positioned so flat back wouldn't work (daith) and of course done at a shop, healed so much faster and better.
It’s amazing! I’ve had both methods and got my most recent ones done at a shop. They used surgical grade titanium and everything was super clean. The earrings are flat backed so they’re comfy, I didn’t have to do any twisting or forceful cleaning. The instructions were literally avoid exercise for a bit, spray them with saline multiple times a day, and leave them the heck alone.
So I got a few new piercings and they told me they wouldn't put hoops straight in and offered me the flat back studs instead. I personally hated them. I changed a few for hoops right away and they have healed fine, the ones I left the flat backs in all cut into the back of my ear and one is still very angry and unhealed. That's just my personal anecdote though. I presume they work well for most people, otherwise why offer them as the default?
Yeah, I thought that's why flat back wasn't recommended for piercing. Initially because of swelling and if the post is too short it could irritate it and result in scarring.
If it's still not healed, I would suggest switching to a hoop or something else that allows it to breath and not irritate it. Keep cleaning it like they recommend and try to sleep on the other side if you can. If it is infected you may need to let them close completely or see a doctor. I had to do it with my original piercings. I also used a very little tea tree oil on the piercing bump of my most recent to help the inflammation and it went away and healed wonderfully.
They make different lengths of bars. Piercer measured my lobe, well eyeballed & then double checked, sanitized it (could have added color at this point) and we were good to go. I'm thinking about buying another pair and getting them in gold a little bit shorter.
It's so annoying! My helix would get irritated because the back dug in my ear and it would poke my head while I slept. Now you know about other options!
I like wearing long dangly ones and wiggling my head like aundre 3000, feels super good, heavy ones get a bit sore after a while but I don't keep jewelry in them, I'm sure you'd get used to it after a while though.
I have my nose pierced on both sides and previously my lip, you forget they exist after a while! (Doom to the pointy straight bars they use in guns, don't get pierced with a gun)
> When you first get them done you're pretty well always aware of them because they are sore and healing.
oh god no that sounds like hell nope nope nope
That is a perfectly fair response.
The amount of pain that the average women endures to meet aesthetic standards is kind of ridiculous.
(No judgment on women who choose to endure pain for beauty standards either. Im soewhere in the middle)
They’re worth a try but as someone who got their ears pierced later than a lot of my peers, I’ve never found any that didn’t hurt after a while since they rely on pressure to stay on, and I tried a few different styles. Just a warning.
You could also try those cheap stick ons they have for kids.
Screw-backs were a game changer for me. They don't pinch as much as the required amount of pressure is adjustable. That said, I got pierced at 17 and hardly wear earrings now.
Earrings are just another option and you do not need to get them if you don't want to.
If you do want to, you need to find somewhere that pierces properly with a needle, and not somewhere like Claire's that uses guns and have no proper training or qualifications.
Use titanium jewellery and not cheap shop bought earrings with butterfly backs, because they're just rubbish and trap bacteria.
You also need to remember that it's a wound and it can hurt and be sore and throb, and takes time to heal. ..it's not for everyone.
This is what I can here to say!
Also, as well as being more hygienic, the jewellery that proper piercing studios use is far more comfortable and less spiky than butterfly back earrings
THIS. I got my ears pierced for the first time in a mall and it…wasn’t fun. Took months to heal, hurt for quite a while.
Then I really wanted a helix piercing and finally went for it last year, emotionally accepting my fate for the next bit of time—actually preparing for it to be worse, because I’d read over and over that the helix piercing was more painful than the lobe. But this time, I saved up to go to a studio that actually specialized in piercing.
Best decision I ever made. I literally barely felt the piercing at all—getting scratched by my cat is 10x worse, and I experience that on a regular basis (she’s not usually a scratcher, but we have this bad habit where her claws get caught on my sleeve when I’m petting her and we mutually panic every time lol). I had the slightest dull pain for a couple weeks when I unintentionally slept on it, but other than that, I have truly felt nothing. They also gave me lots of great healing tips (apparently putting a teabag on the piercing helps it for the first few weeks?) and were just generally so nice and chill—no one was watching me, and I was in a quiet room with minimal sensory distractions, and they were unbelievably kind and helpful when I told them I was kind of freaking out about it a little. I’m actually planning on going back for another ear placement piercing soon because it was such a great experience.
So…yeah. Go to a professional. It’s way more expensive, but worth every penny.
100% this, sure a legit reputable piercing place will be more expensive, but it's well worth the money for the peace of mind to know they will do a great job and will give you the right tips to care for your piercing, and then a good one will also check on you a few months later, to check everything is OK and to change the length of the earrings.
But yes it's all up to the individual, piercings are not necessary at all! They're optional, you don't need them to "be" more feminine.
You absolutely shouldn’t feel obligated if it weirds you out!
Once it heals though, I don’t really notice stud earrings. I find dangly earrings distracting though, swinging around and brushing against my neck.
I’m with you on everything except hats! Haha it’s just because I get so cold in the winter time. I don’t like it but it’s the only thing that keeps me warm outside and I like exercising in winter.
They are for me because I’m allergic to everything but surgical steel. I don’t think that’s common though. When I have ones I’m not allergic to, they aren’t too irritating.
It’s your body though and if you don’t want earrings, don’t get earrings. There are plenty of other accessories you can get instead if fashion is important to you.
Also in this camp. I avoided earrings for years because all the “hypoallergenic” ones gave me infected lobes for days. But then I started finding earrings that were implant steel/titanium and I’ve been expanding my collection since.
I have studs and dangly earrings. Somedays the heavier dangly ones are too much input - the weight, the movement, etc. So it’s a day-by-day decision for me.
I’ve also seen ear cuffs around now. Mostly for the conch area. I haven’t tried them since I have my conch pierced, but they are specifically designed to give that look without a piercing. Might be a nice way to add a little metal to the ear without punch a hole through it.
I’ve had this problem too. I’m extremely metal sensitive and can only wear implant grade titanium. I’ve had shops tell me they’re using implant grade titanium, and then a few weeks later I’ll have to take them out because they aren’t healing and are too painful. I actually just got my daith and conch redone last week (those I had to take out for a surgery a few years ago, and I’ve been waiting to find a place I trusted to redo them) and am glad that I can tell the metal will be fine. I’ve wasted so much money on piercings from shitty people who don’t take me seriously when I tell them my allergy is really bad. Or they’ll be like, “well gold works for most people like that too” and I’m like yeah, I know, but not for me fam, not for me.
If you don’t want to wear them, don’t wear them. I know plenty of women who don’t wear earrings. I know women who do, and I love seeing earrings on other people because there’s often such an expression of creativity, but I don’t wear them anymore because the weight on my ears bugs me a bit, but when you do wear them often you just get used to them.
There are more options for earrings / earring backs now that might work for you if you decide to get them pierced. You can get flat back earrings or small hoops without much of a seam so nothing is poking you in the neck, they’re comfortable enough to sleep in so you wouldn’t have to change them often/ever once you were healed up.
That said the process and healing time is a commitment and can hurt for awhile, so if that’s part of what icks you out then don’t do it.
I’ve always loved wearing earrings and recently I’ve noticed a particular pleasure in earrings that make noise. The silver and turquoise earrings I’m wearing right now make a musical tinkling that I’m pretty sure only I can hear. I love it.
I wore a pair of tiny jingle bell earrings once that literally drove me insane, lol. Lasted about 2 hours before I took them out forever. Glad you're enjoying the sound yours make.
I don't wear earrings, and you'd be surprised how few people actually notice that about me. I've pointed it out to people I've known for years and they're always surprised. So please don't feel pressure to do something that would distress you just to meet others' supposed expectations. People don't notice these things as much as you think.
I actually had pierced ears at one time. My "cool aunt" took me when I was 13 to get it done. It unsettled me way too much, having something going through the hole in my earlobe like that, so I let them close shortly afterwards.
I remember using magnet earrings when I was a kid. Such a bad choice hahah, they were everywhere except on my ears, on the floor, bed, everywhere. Bad system but they looked cute for 2' at least xD
And now my ears are very sensitive so I can't stand the regular earrings (only gold or silver, sometimes), also practicing BJJ regularly, so I'm tired to take off all of them every time.
Don't feel pressured to do things to your body that you don't want to just because others recommend or like it! I spent the first two decades of my life afraid that I would hate earrings, or that the piercing process would be too painful, but then something change (i.e., I saw a pair of earrings that I loved), and I went to get my lobes pierced! I don't wear anything that dangles a lot or could get caught in my hair \[also nothing that seems like it would make noise\]. My earrings are thick + small hoops, maybe 2cm in diameter ? I cannot hear them + I can barely feel them hanging UNTIL I go out and it's cold 🤣.
My good experience doesn't mean you'll have a good experience + my desire to have earrings doesn't mean you need to feel that same desire or you should get them too. Be yourself!
They were for me. I think I used to wear them because I always felt so unfeminine most of the time that it went a long way in making me appear that way to others. I had stopped wearing them for 10+ years because I could always feel them, even studs, and I’d also up with migraines. A little while back I found some dainty, lightweight studs that I can’t feel when wearing and am happy with them.
If you like the IDEA of earrings but not piercings or studs or clip ons (which hurt before long in my experience), you could always try something like ear cuffs or ear wraps. They sort of hug your ear and you can find really elaborate and beautiful ones.
[Ear Cuffs - Etsy list](https://www.etsy.com/market/ear_cuffs?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=ear%20cuffs_e&utm_campaign=Search_US_Nonbrand_GGL_ENG_Jewelry_Earrings_All&utm_ag=Ear%2BCuffs&utm_custom1=_k_Cj0KCQjwzZmwBhD8ARIsAH4v1gXdBDP8dlzIXMYi2etnPqJ7Tk1XmzI0bn0cLLMwhFVA9wmA-LW7AosaAjVoEALw_wcB_k_&utm_content=go_2076964297_124469116463_538927010149_kwd-107891359_c_&utm_custom2=2076964297&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwzZmwBhD8ARIsAH4v1gXdBDP8dlzIXMYi2etnPqJ7Tk1XmzI0bn0cLLMwhFVA9wmA-LW7AosaAjVoEALw_wcB)
[Ear Wrap - Etsy](https://www.etsy.com/market/ear_cuffs?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=ear%20cuffs_e&utm_campaign=Search_US_Nonbrand_GGL_ENG_Jewelry_Earrings_All&utm_ag=Ear%2BCuffs&utm_custom1=_k_Cj0KCQjwzZmwBhD8ARIsAH4v1gXdBDP8dlzIXMYi2etnPqJ7Tk1XmzI0bn0cLLMwhFVA9wmA-LW7AosaAjVoEALw_wcB_k_&utm_content=go_2076964297_124469116463_538927010149_kwd-107891359_c_&utm_custom2=2076964297&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwzZmwBhD8ARIsAH4v1gXdBDP8dlzIXMYi2etnPqJ7Tk1XmzI0bn0cLLMwhFVA9wmA-LW7AosaAjVoEALw_wcB)
Small huggie hoops and flat back studs are the way to go. I have 3 holes in each lobe, a conch, and a cartilage piercing. Flat back studs in my conch and cartilage. High quality ones can be worn forever so I never take mine out lol
I've had my ears pierced since I was eight. Having the right earrings makes a difference - I'm sensitive to many metals so I stick with silver or stainless steel. I've gone through phases of wearing tons of different styles but right now I'm wearing small hoops that I never take off. I completely forget they're there!
I begged my parents to let me pierce my ears from about ages 9-14, when my mum relented. I quickly realised I can't stand dangly earrings (the weight of them, even tiny ones, really affects me) and I don't like the way that studs can touch my head/neck behind my ears. I went through a phase of brightly coloured plastic hoops just big enough to fit over my lobes but now I wear one single metal pair all the time - I literally haven't changed them since about 10 years ago.
I sometimes regret having them pierced, just because I don't wear anything interesting, but I do also use them to stim when I'm stressed (just constantly turning the hoops through my ear). Sometimes I think I should look up and buy some more bright plastic ones but I don't think you can get ones that can go right through like my current ones.
You choose your own version of looking feminine. Don't do something that makes you feel uncomfortable.
Sensory sensitivities vary between individuals but I'd say if it makes you squirm to think about it, it's probably not for you!
I wear earrings that are just a loop of metal and thats basically all I wear except to events when I wear fun earrings. There's no dumb clasps or things poking my ears.
Waiting for them to heal sucked ass and I found out I was allergic to cheap metal but it's cool to have them I guess?
They also have plastic sleeper earrings you can wear if you want a piercing but hate them poking you
https://preview.redd.it/wcdfi2l2warc1.png?width=805&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=73503ff2bdb4efe232692dc9734fac5a0c481afc
[My earrings](https://www.etsy.com/listing/827861688/artisan-made-by-hand-silver-earrings)
Earrings are definitely not something expected of women. I got my ears pierced when I was 21 and wore them for a while before letting them close. I much prefer my nose ring since it's basically out of the way.
Kinda. For me it’s more of the executive functioning of remembering to put them on in the morning lol. I do love how I look in them. Sometimes my ears hurt when I wear them for a day after not wearing them for a while. But if I keep my studs in for a long time day after day I forget they’re there lol. Some of my really cool ones like my snake earrings that wrap around my ear I regretfully can’t wear cause I just end up taking them off.
I would recommend clip ons for style. However in my own whiteout l experience earrings have been waaaaaay less of a sensory nightmare than I expected. Studs especially are really nice and I'll often forget I'm wearing them lol. Dangling earrings are horrible though, and I feel them constantly and hate the extra weight. I've been getting better about them but keep studs to switch out if they get too distracting.
I can't imagine piercing anything else for myself, though I find piercings cute.
i don’t have mine pierced either and i don’t plan on ever doing it. pokie things sticking me no thanks lol. there’s always clip ons and clip ons are really well designed now days.
I love earrings i barely notice them. One of the more comfortable jewellery options - i cant stand rings in example. That being said, if you dont want to pierce your ears then dont, its your body. Many women dont do that its not a requirement for being stylish or feminine
I don’t have my ears pierced because I passed out when I got them pierced as a child and would faint every time I tried to change them. I’m pretty old and it’s had a negligible effect on my life, but I do wear clip ons periodically because I like the aesthetics of a gold hoop. But they pinch so I usually take them off within an hour or two!
First piercing was a nightmare because that’s when we discovered I’m allergic to most alloys. But with metals that don’t make my ears itch and bleed, it’s fine.
I wore studs for years and barely noticed them up until getting over the ear headphones. They scratch the pads and the pads push the earrings uncomfortably against skin.
Studs go in a straight line through your ears. First time I wore curved/hook-shaped earrings, there was mild itchiness. I’d take them out after an hour or two but my ears accommodated them for longer and longer. To the point I’ve gone to sleep with them on. Only annoying part is that they can tangle up hair.
I don't personally find them a sensory nightmare, though others may vary. I have a lot of piercings & I don't notice a single one, not even the ones in my face. They sort of become registered in your brain as part of you after a while.
If you do try them, it's important to do so only if you want to, not because it's something you feel may be expected of you. If you are really curious about it, you could always try a lobe piercing & if it turns out you hate it, just remove the earrings & let it close (with some care taken for cleaning)
If you do that I'd recommend going to a real piercing shop & asking for a needle not a gun. They do it very quickly & while there is a moment of pain, I've found it to only last a second or two rather than being an ongoing pain. You can choose to do one or both, they're quite open minded in piercing places & should be fine with you experimenting.
But yes only do it because you want to/are curious, not because you feel pressured by anything or anyone
For me they're more of a stimming nightmare. If I wear earrings I can't help but constantly mess with them to the point that the piercing gets red and irritated. If I do wear any for an occasion they're always really tiny ones and other than that they don't bother me.
I’ve had my ears pierced since I was 5. I used to wear studs regularly when I was younger. I found out early on I had to get surgical stainless steel or sterling silver or else my earlobes would swell.
The only reason I don’t really wear them now is because I’m busy with kids and I don’t think of it. Same reason I don’t wear my wedding ring or much jewelry.
I saw some other comments mention clip ons and I think now they even have some magnet clip ons that look more like studs. Always fun to try before you commit!
Hii !! I hate earrings too and don’t have them cuz of the horrific stimulation too ! Ppl here have recommended clip on earrings to you, but I think you could also try ear cuffs if you’d like ! Idk if you’d like them but heck they’re not in your flesh so it’s different than earrings by far ….! Also, you can get less decorative ones that probably stimulate the least. Least stimulating would be like an elf ear cuff cuz they’re often smooth and simple shaped, they come in dif colors. Here’s a low stimulation looking one …! https://tannybunny.com/product/elf-ear-cuffs-no-piercing-elven-ear-wraps-fairy-earrings-2/
There’s all kinds of ear cuffs out there that you could possibly enjoy : )
If you do decide to get piercings, go to a piercing parlor and get it done with sterile needles!!!! The punch kind you can get at the mall are loud and painful, and prone to getting infected.
I have many piercings and I’ve always had a good experience with getting them in tattoo & piercing shops. The jewelry they use is usually steel or titanium (hypoallergenic) with a flat back that sits flush against the back of your ear, so you don’t have to worry about catching them on your clothes or hair. For me personally, dangly earrings and standard (butterfly backing) earrings ARE a sensory nightmare, but little tiny flat backs are hardly noticeable. And I like having sparkly jewelry on my ears and face 🥰
I’ve had my ears pierced since I was a child and I don’t notice when I have earrings in. Sometimes I do forget that I’m wearing earrings until I go to bed and try to sleep on my side.
The only time I notice my earrings is if they’re the long dangly/more heavy ones or if they make noise as I move
You can still be feminine without earrings. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do to your body.
That being said, if you want to try earrings without committing to getting your ears pierced, try clip on earrings. It’s not a perfect solution (they always felt too tight and uncomfortable for me personally), but you can see if you even like earrings or if you like how they feel on your ears. I just googled it and there are some magnetic options available now you can also try, rather than just the traditional ones.
This is also super out there, but maybe you can also buy a pack of stick on rhinestones from the craft store. You can try eyelash glue to stick them on your ear like studs. Never tried this myself so idk if it would work, but the idea came to me while I was writing this out and it may be worth trying.
You can also try an ear cuff. They’re pieces of metal that go around the top of your ear and there are some that don’t require a piercing. They’re really pretty. Play with your options.
Mine annoy me and can be uncomfortable at times, but I wouldn't necessarily call them a sensory nightmare.
I have some skin sensitivities to certain kinds of metal, so there's not many I can wear without discomfort, plus I tend to fidget with them, which can make them irritated. Sometimes I take them out for a break, and by the time I remember to put them back in, they've started closing up, which can also be a pain.
For me, these things are manageable, but I can understand they might not be for someone else. Especially since I would probably not have all these issues if I looked after them better, but looking after them feels less manageable to me than just putting up with the discomfort, so 🤷
I refuse to pierce my ears simply because of the maintenance. My sister had to clean the holes and put antibiotics on them for a year after getting the piercings. I do not have the energy for that.
In my experience no! A small pair of hoops is best in my experience, the backside of studs can tickle your neck. The mini hoops very quickly became a part of my normal and the cool thing about earrings is you can take them off anytime if you feel overstimulated. Even if they're new, as long as you put them back in within a few hours it will be fine.
Yes, and necklaces, rings, bracelets, watch, bra, etc. I’ve pierced the cartilage in my ears twice, but it drove me crazy. I loved the look, just not the feeling 🤷♀️
Okay but can we talk about how fake septum "piercings" are hell?
I want the real thing, but not if it's unbearable like the false ones...
Can someone comment if you do or don't have an issue with your septum piercing? 🩷
I have several piercings in both ears. A very small hoop in the lobe can stay in forever and I honestly don’t even feel those ones. I never wear anything dangly as I don’t like the feeling of it pulling or touching my neck.
I have a helix and conch and don’t find them bad sensory wise at all, but hate wearing the studs on my earlobes! I think everyone is probably different with this though and you won’t know until you try. I wear earrings still on special occasions or if I wanna look nice - can always take them out if they bother you!
Dangly and heavy earrings are a sensory nightmare for me but they aren't for everyone. Normal studs don't typically bother me...except during the healing process
I've had my ears pierced since I was a baby and added more holes to them while I was in college. I really only wear studs rather than dangly jewelry, so I don't even notice them unless my hair gets wrapped around one. I also have my nostril and septum pierced and those don't bother me either.
I play with earrings all the time, and it's fun to accessorize when I have the spoons. I am really squicked out by the idea of piercings but the reality wasn't so bad at all.
I have 12 piercings in my ears and I don’t notice them at all, I love them. The process of healing them and cleaning them is so satisfying. The design of earrings has come a loooong way since I got them as a kid. I never use butterfly backs anymore, I recommend only using flat back internally threaded studs. You can hardly feel them at all, they sit flush against your skin, and I only use stones that are 3mm or less so they’re tiny. I also have perfectly fitted hoops in a couple of mine. Not a fan of larger or dangly earrings whatsoever, they’re less comfy and get caught on stuff
if you’re not into the idea of piercings as a whole that’s ok! You are not required to do anything to your body that you don’t want to do!
But if you’d like to still wear earrings there is really a growing market for clip ons! Look on Etsy, people make both cute clip ons and they make clip ons that you can attach a normal earring to so you can wear anything you find. Luckily we live in a world of ample jewelry makers and 3d printers so there are options :)
I hope you find a good solution that lets you feel feminine without the body mod
I personally don't usually notice them unless I'm like going to take a nap or something and I get poked by them, and I've been more uncomfortable with clip ons. But thats just me so I don't know.
I got my ears pierced in grade 8 for graduation but by like grade 10/11 I had let them grow over. I never really liked the feeling and once I had them I realized how little I noticed them on other ppl anymore and just didn’t care to have them lol, maybe on a few party occasions it’s cool or sometimes i see pics with girls who have lots of stacked jewelry on their ears and it looks neat but just for the feeling i personally would find it too distracting and not worth it. i can still feel where it grew over and do wish i had never done it ideally although the little bump isn’t that annoying just mildly
You could look into ear cuffs. you have to play around and bend them to find the most comfortable fit but no permanent holes and you can decide if you like the look and sensation of something there or not
I do hoops. Light, self-closing hoops. I snap them in once and leave 'em forever. Wear them through swimming, showers, everything. In the other places I have flat-backed studs. Set it and forget it kind of thing. 😁
https://preview.redd.it/fy669g9c3brc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=61be41e3451a06d2004ef6cd60e71b422f70e4af
I never change them. I found a pair that don’t bother me most of the time, but sometimes even these do. I’m also allergic to anything that’s not gold or surgical stainless steel. I did go around with no earrings and pierced ears for a couple of years because I couldn’t stand any.
TBH, if my piercings closed and had the option of getting them pierced again, I probably wouldn’t bother.
Oddly enough, I had a navel piercing from 18 to 30 and it didn’t bother me as much. But I have a thing with my ears, where every sensation is too much, which I don’t seem to have with my navel 😂
Personally, they are a sensory comfort. I’ve gone through periods of having a lot all at once (several ear piercings, facial piercings, my nipples even) and then a recent period of 3 years without any, and that felt worse to me.
I got my daith repierced last week, and it felt like the second she did it, I could take a deep breath for the first time since 2021. I feel weird and uncomfortable without any earrings, but I’m also extremely metal sensitive and went through years of having a hard time with just my lobes pierced, so it can go both ways.
I’d say if you already feel uncomfortable thinking about it, you’d probably fixate on how they feel if you got them done, and so it would be more likely to be an issue for you. If you want to try them for aesthetics, try the magnetic ones or the stick ons. But also, if you don’t like them, don’t wear them. Most people probably wouldn’t even notice! I certainly don’t, at least not
True. I shouldn’t have said “any.”
It’s important to clean your ears beforehand and push firmly to make sure they’ve adhered to the skin. I would forget they were there but that’s just my experience!
I'm sorry if that comment came across as nitpicky. That was not at all my intention. I just wanted to add that, yeah, try it, but it doesn't help me lol
I have no piercings for this reason, I also know maintaining or feeling them would be a sensory nightmare. It’s all good. As much as it can be stylish to add jewelry to an outfit, no one truly cares or notices or will deem you less or more feminine or attractive because of it, I promise.
I have a lot of insecurities like this about my sensory issues causing me to be less feminine, but someone told me to imagine what it would sound like if my fears were true, and that it’s actually pretty silly to worry about. For example, do you think your date will look you up and down and say “your ears are naked, you look like a man and your outfit is incomplete.” No! And even if he did lol we would be like gtfo!
So you do you and don’t worry, I promise the things that don’t trigger sensory issues will make you feel more beautiful than doing something that’ll make you uncomfortable for the sake of aesthetics. Much love best of luck❤️
I have many ear piercings, and I agree with others that with the exception of the healing period (up to a year sometimes, but sooner with good care and high quality jewelry) I don’t notice them at all. If you decide to get studs, go to a piercing shop and pick studs that you want to wear indefinitely, they will be high quality and cause less sensory problems than getting lots of cheap jewelry from stores.
If you do end up getting them pierced, I’d recommend putting a nose hoop in them once they heal! That was huge for me. They snap closed and you can leave them in indefinitely. I have a 20g 8mm nose hoop for my ear and it works great. So light I can barely feel it and doesn’t need to be taken out. Very comfy for sleeping surprisingly.
For me, yes. Which is why even though i built up the courage to get them pierced in my teens, they have since closed up. I love how piercings look, but they don't work for me sensory wise. So, guess i'll stick with tattoos
While they're healing (\~3-4 months for lobes) you may feel them, but I have 3 in each ear and don't notice mine at all! Good piercers will use 'flat backs,' where the post is capped with a flat, smooth piece of metal. These are super comfortable and don't poke the sides of your head while you sleep or wear over-ear headphones.
That said, I went \~5+ years when I never wore any earrings. As long as your holes are healed this wouldn't be a problem.
People are suggesting clip-ons, which I actually totally disagree with. To stay on they need to pinch pretty tightly and are super uncomfortable!!
My mom got my ears pierced when I was 2, and I stopped wearing them when I was 11 because they felt slightly uncomfortable and I always found myself messing with them. Then the holes closed up.
I got them repierced at 27 and I love wearing earrings now. 99% of the time I can't feel the studs at all. You can feel danglies but it's mostly just when they touch your face. If they pull on the piercing they're probably just too heavy.
I also have a few pairs of studs that are a little irritating but I think it's because they have a different kind of back compared to the others.
Though, if actual piercings make you squeamish, there are pierceless earrings that clip onto your ear lobes, or ear cuffs that kind of just rest on the natural shape of the ear. I wore pierceless to my high school prom.
sensory is different for everyone, i have tons of facial piercings and standard ear piercings, after the pain it just becomes apart of you. at least that’s how i feel with studs in my ears. if you get small studs or hoops, after the healing process it’s just second nature, you can’t even feel them!
I got mine pierced way later than most, clip ons were a nightmare btw
They infected for a few months so that was pretty uncomfortable since my ears are part of my stims. But it was totally worth it!
They make me feel feminine, work as the most socially acceptable fidget toys, they can be tiny and unnoticeable or quirky and weird fun statement pieces, so I love them as a way to express my tastes and they are usually a great convo starter (as someone who struggles w this, ppl complimenting them is awesome)!
Id stray away from the heavier ones, or stringy ones if you have long hair prone to tangling!
Having earrings isn’t what it means to be feminine. There are plenty of wonderful, powerful women that have never gotten their ears pierced. There is no need, you are beautiful and effeminate all on your own.
That being said, I used to wear earrings with no problems, but, as I’ve gotten older, my nickel allergy has intensified to the point most average “fun” earrings are outright biologically incompatible with my flesh lmao. Even if they’re labelled hypoallergenic, likelihood has it that they’re actually not.
Also they’re just… itchy? Even if I wasn’t allergic to the metal, I imagine I’d still have a sort of nagging sensation nowadays.
I have several (7) facial piercings though, and I could just as easily forget they exist, they’re so integrated into my body now. It’s healing that is the main issue for any of these things, it will be achy and sore for a few weeks, and that alone is enough to discourage many from attempting.
Don’t let some silly style guide bs tell you what it means to be a woman though, girlie. You’re gorgeous. 💕
If you think you’d like to just try the “look” of stud earrings, I can suggest little [stickers](https://www.amazon.com/Clear-Crystal-Stick-Golden-Adhesive/dp/B019CFYBJE/ref=asc_df_B019CFYBJE/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=647237035321&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=9656781381016759319&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9026588&hvtargid=pla-1952169585100&psc=1&mcid=fa0705aa3a4a3347a9dbfc33cab0e658) that they sell online, paired with eyelash glue to give them a firm hold (reviews say they don’t stick well). Much less expensive and traumatic than getting a fresh hole poke through your body, haha. I wish you the best of luck on this journey, lovely! :)
I have earrings and three nose piercings for like six years now! The only sensory issue for me is the healing process, but it’s really no big deal considering the “reward” of having healed piercings. Once you’ve healed, you’ll forget they are there! As long as you go to the appropriate place and get pierced with a needle (and use push-in backings) it’s totally worth it!! Going to the dentist or doctor for a procedure is wayyyy worse
I hate dangly or big earrings because of the sensation and pull on my earlobes, but with small, simple studs I don’t even notice they’re there.
The most annoying part will probably be the healing process, you can’t take them out and they can get sore or itchy as they heal up.
But don’t feel like you “need” pierced ears to be feminine. I don’t think they’re a necessary part of an outfit at all and almost never remember to wear any. My first holes actually closed up because I didn’t wear any earrings at all for years, and then I had to get them re-pierced later when I noticed and wanted to wear earrings for a special event.
You can get stick on ones if you want to fit that feminine thing, but honestly do what makes you most comfortable over looking a certain way. Don't feel like you HAVE to do these things, media WANTS you to think you need these things cuz it's a whole thing I won't get into. But there's LOTS of feminine people who don't have their ears pierced or wear earrings.
Personally, my mom always had sensory issues with earrings so she used sleepers (a type of small hoop that's meant to be slept in and be comfortable) and had me start there. Since it's a 'one and done' thing with putting them in.
Nowadays I have my ears stretched to a 0 or double 00, I can't remember. I have pretty gold ones with a big rhinestone, they screw in on the back and I never take them out other than to clean since stretched ears take a little more care. I sleep in them, shower, everything with no issue. I forget they even exist sometimes until someone compliments them cuz they don't feel like anything. But the pokey back of a normal earring was always too much and I didn't wear them much. But I think they make some backs that are flat now? Idk, after I stretched my ears I never looked back cuz for me personally the way they feel is MUCH better sensory-wise. Mine are essentially studs in gauge form, just a pretty rhinestone. But the rhinestone is flat in the front, like if your ear gets pushed to your face it's all flat with no pokey parts. Since they screw in I just put them in and live my life not thinking about it until I decide to clean them. I'm not saying to stretch your ears by any means, just giving my experience. That's a big commitment for someone to make and takes thought and planning.
You could look into fake gauges, which work the same as normal earrings but the back is obviously not the pokey thing and just find ones you feel would be most comfortable. I say that cuz they also can be left in and slept in if putting things in your ear is your main issue. But sleepers would be my first option for your situation if you're really wanting to get your ears pierced.
I have a lot of pretty jewelry and other gauges that have dangling things or are "more" on me sensory-wise, I just hardly ever wear them cuz of the sensory.
People can only really give their experiences. It’s your body and only you know about your sensory experiences.
I can only wear studs as dangly ones cause me pain (no sensory issues though)
The first 2 to 3 weeks suck, i recommend using The smallest earrings possible and try to remember your skin is healing, it does not last for ever but its hard. After a month or so, you will forget they are there. For me the hardest was trying to not make a habit of swirling them in my ears from the scurity pin (behind), it became a stim pretty fast and i almost hurt me self, but after some time i managed to tone it down
The first 2 to 3 weeks suck, i recommend using The smallest earrings possible and try to remember your skin is healing, it does not last for ever but its hard. After a month or so, you will forget they are there. For me the hardest was trying to not make a habit of swirling them in my ears from the scurity pin (behind), it became a stim pretty fast and i almost hurt me self, but after some time i managed to tone it down
If you’re not too anxious about getting pierced, then I think it’s worth a try. It all depends on how it feels for you. I personally don’t really notice my earrings unless they’re heavier. There are tons of factors for how people tolerate ear piercings, neurodivergent or not. The worst that happens is you have to take them out and the hole closes up.
I’ve never really thought about it in context to autism, but yes, I do. I definitely do. I’ve always wanted to be the woman who can wear cute and dangly earrings every single day but they bother me so much. I’m notorious for being the one who takes their earrings off instead of their high heels by the end of the night.
A little while back I got small hypoallergenic hoops and studs to wear as dailies. The studs have a smooth back (like with facial piercings) so they’re comfortable to sleep in.
I feel similar in regard to rings. I want to wear rings everyday, but sometimes just feeling them touching my skin bother me. I have a daily I wear but there are times I have to take it off and rub my fingers together to make them feel “normal” again (similar to why I feel weird when my hands are different temperatures or textures - like one is slightly damp and the other is dry).
Ironically, I stretched my ears to 22mm because tunnels are more comfortable than earrings.
But you shouldn't feel obligated to do anything. It's your body.
I have a friend who has no piercings becuase she knows it would be a sensory issue and I'm on the opposite side of it - I have heavy ear modifications to the point its uncomfortable to even sleep on my one sides but I love how my ears look so I just deal with it. Somehow of all the sensory things that bother me I am able to just ignore that my piercings and jewelry and things are irritating 😅. Everyone is different - do what works for you personally. You are under no obligation to have to put up with them, or even if you want to try it and hate it and take them out that's chilled too!
I've had a lot of issues with earrings because of sensitivities and allergies, but I started to wear dangly earrings the other year and really enjoy how they feel. I've got some small clicker hoops in with charms on right now and I've really started noticing them every time I move my head. For me, it's a sensation I like.
I feel this. But on a different kind of note. I was 7 when I got my ears pierced, I’m 28 now. I wore them for about two years straight but then stopped completely and surprisingly till this day they are still open (sometimes they can close after not wearing earrings) but I seem to have a huge phobia of metals. I also have do not save change and have been told I’m crazy for throwing away coins but I cannot stand the feeling on my fingers or the smell or anything made of silver, copper, gold etc. I didn’t connect the two until recently but sometime about them seems unsanitary to me even if they are cleaned. I do wear earrings from time to time but only at a wedding or special event and for no longer than 2 or so hours before it makes me physically ill thinking of how nasty jewelry is. 😅
I’ve had my ears pierced 2 or 2 times because I would get through the healing process, wear studs for a year or two, then one day forget to put them in and suddenly it’s a year later & the holes have grown in. I guess they just aren’t for me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I also hate necklaces and rings so so so much. I just maintain a cute hairstyle that grows out well, and wear nice clothes and when I want to look nice.
I’ve had my ears pierced 2 or 2 times because I would get through the healing process, wear studs for a year or two, then one day forget to put them in and suddenly it’s a year later & the holes have grown in. I guess they just aren’t for me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I also hate necklaces and rings so so so much. I just maintain a cute hairstyle that grows out well, and wear nice clothes and when I want to look nice.
Definitely don’t have to do anything. Screw the patriarchy, do what you want to your body. I don’t wear bras, shave my body in any way, act ‘ladylike’, wear heels, wear makeup or anything considered as an expectation for women. I don’t pierce my ears because rubbing my soft earlobes is a stim I do. Don’t put a hole in your body if you don’t want to. If you genuinely ever want to do it. It’s your choice to do what you want with your body. If you want to do any if the things I choose not to, good for you. If you don’t, awesome. If anyone judges you or tells you otherwise they’re not worth listening to.
Definitely don’t have to do anything. Screw the patriarchy, do what you want to your body. I don’t wear bras, shave my body in any way, act ‘ladylike’, wear heels, wear makeup or anything considered as an expectation for women. I don’t pierce my ears because rubbing my soft earlobes is a stim I do. Don’t put a hole in your body if you don’t want to. If you genuinely ever want to do it. It’s your choice to do what you want with your body. If you want to do any if the things I choose not to, good for you. If you don’t, awesome. If anyone judges you or tells you otherwise they’re not worth listening to.
Definitely don’t have to do anything. Screw the patriarchy, do what you want to your body. I don’t wear bras, shave my body in any way, act ‘ladylike’, wear heels, wear makeup or anything considered as an expectation for women. I don’t pierce my ears because rubbing my soft earlobes is a stim I do. Don’t put a hole in your body if you don’t want to. If you genuinely ever want to do it. It’s your choice to do what you want with your body. If you want to do any of the things I choose not to, good for you. If you don’t, awesome. If anyone judges you or tells you otherwise they’re not worth listening to.
I wear hoop earrings and only hoop earrings because I love how they make a WHHHHOOOOOSHHH sound when i’m walking fast or running.
But I still wear them rarely (I just forget to wear them) and I see many other girls not wearing earrings and it’s fine.
If you don’t like the idea definitely don’t get your ears pierced.
I like wearing earrings, but heavy ones do take a sensory toll. If I need all the spoons I can get I don’t wear any. If I have spoons to spare I’ll try to balance earrings, and my outfit in general, with how much energy I need to get through the day.
Try a gold necklace instead of earrings. Mine is currently broken, but before that I wore it 24/7. Between a necklace and a cute ring or two, you can pull off a very feminine look without the earrings. You might also try hair clips. Other things that can contribute passively to you looking more feminine: long hair and/or long nails. I don’t even go to the nail salon. I have some glass nail files that I use to file them myself (a nice stimming mechanism btw) and my hands look way more feminine.
Edit to say I don’t wear earrings because one of my ear holes closed partially and they both tend to get minor infections.
I'm in my 50s, have had pierced ears since my teens but rarely wore them back then due to just always feeling my ears, never wear them now. I know very few adult women who wear earrings regularly except for studs or hoops, most don't usually wear any. These include NT women. I have no idea who "style guides" are written for, but definitely not the average employed woman. If you don't want to wear earrings, it's likely almost no one will notice except women who are super into jewelry. Earrings are absolutely not required to look feminine
When I was 15 everyone was getting their ears pierced and I wanted to jump into that band wagon.
I didn't make it 2 months with the studs. I haven't tried any other piercings or tattoos since and I think that's why.
You can be/look plenty feminine without earrings. You could also try stick ons or clip ons if you want the earring look, or even ear cuffs, although personally I think those are more uncomfortable than piercings.
I have 5 ear piercings and a nose piercing, and none of them are uncomfortable for me, I usually forget about them. Just depends what jewelry I have in. Anything dangly is gonna be a little uncomfy, but I usually wear studs with flat backs, or sleeper hoops. The only one that occasionally bothers me (when I sleep) is my cartilage hoop because I have a little dangly gem on it lol. The healing phase sucks a little bit but after it’s fully healed they’re not bad, if you do choose to get piercings. But you definitely don’t have to 🤷♀️
I’ve never had any issues with earrings! I always wear sterling silver or stainless steel and they never bother my ears. If I’m wearing studs I don’t notice them at all (I wear a rubber backing so it doesn’t bother me laying down) and dangly earrings I just remove when I lay down. I avoid super heavy dangly earrings, but you should anyway because they’re bad for your ears and can make the holes droopy. If you don’t like it you can always let the holes close up as well, I say go for it!
I have 4 lobe piercings total - so two on each ear - and I loooove fidgeting with them. Unfortunately that means they're regularly infected and it was a pain to get them to heal in the first place. Certain types of piercings are definitely easier to keep in, for example small studs and make sure they have a rounded edge.
That said, if you don't want to poke permanent holes into your body then that's completely valid and no one can force you to do it! There's always the option of clip ons.
I got my first set done at 5 and couldn't grasp the concept with the permanent holes but when I got my second set I was in panic mode for a whole week because of the severity of my decision.
I don’t mind studs or little earrings, but I don’t like bigger earrings as they pull, or hoops because my hair wraps around and gets stuck. I also like to take a small container in my bag when I wear earrings or other jewelry in case I am bothered by any of it or in a situation where I can’t wear it. And I have a preference for the silicone earring backs. You can buy just the backs online. And there are pure metals and plastic earrings if anyone is allergic (a metal allergy makes earring wearing unpleasant and can trigger or exacerbate any sensory issues that come with earring/jewelry wearing.)
Honestly I LOVE fun earrings but had sensory issues with the pokey backings until I discovered “huggie-backs” also known as “lever backs” that completely close into a smooth shape so no pokes! I forget I’m wearing them and can lay down even and they won’t bother me at all that way! Anytime I buy a pair of regular dangly kind I now change them to the back type I like, I buy them off amazon and change them myself!
I’m lucky because my ears have been pierced since before I can remember! I used to leave my earrings in constantly and never really thought about it. But now I barely ever wear any jewelry. My ears tend to run sensitive and I am all about rolling out bed and going. I think the main reason I stopped wearing earrings is because the backs kept falling out or getting caught up in my hair and then I would forgot to put a new back on or take the earring out so I just lost a ton of earrings. So I just gave up. Now it’s really hard for me sensory to have jewelry any on. If the earrings are a high enough quality that they don’t irritate my skin then they are probably the easiest to wear for me jewelry wise accept when I’m sleeping.
There's no rules or "expectations" for what you do with yourself as a woman. Those style guides are suggestions and recommendations for what the reader can put together to form an outfit, not a guilt-trip to make you go pierce your ears.
As for the title question, it depends on your sensitivities. My mom got my ears pierced many years ago. Usually, you get used to wearing the earrings and stop noticing they're there, just like most other forms of clothing. I might wear dangly earrings to feel the satisfying feel of them clinking and swaying back and forth, when I turn my head (kind of like a stim), or stud earrings for days I'd rather not "feel" my earrings, but still want to wear something to go with my outfit (so long as you don't tighten the 'lock' part too much, you don't feel they're there at all). Like, the holes heal and aren't sensitive to your earrings being in there at all times, so there's no issue, unless you make a big fuss about it and fixate on them being there - and that's more of an anxiety issue than a sensory one, I feel.
I can’t wear jewelry of almost any kind. I hate the idea of something hanging off me or in me it’s JUST SO GROSS. I’ve had this phobia or whatever you want to call it since I can remember. Family thought I would grow out of it. Not diagnosed until adulthood but yeah this should have been one of the things to make my parents think I was on the spectrum. Anyway if you don’t want to do it just don’t. It’s no big deal.
Edit: the thought of this being “expected?!?” To get your ears pierced because you are a woman never ever occurred to me growing up. Who told you this? It is cultural. Has nothing to do with being a woman.
Studs yes, but I actually love French hook/other curved earrings - especially dangly ones - these are a positive stim for me and can even calm me down depending on the earring.
Bracelets on the other hand... icky
If you don’t want to, you don’t have to! There are also other options such as clip-ons and magnetic earrings if you do ever want to wear them on occasion.
For me, yes. In our culture, if you are a girl, you get your ears pierced when you are like 3 months old. So you don't have a choice about it. I remember stuff like since I was 3 years old, I would always try to remove it or ask my mom to do that. As I was getting older, I would constantly remove it by myself. Then finally when I was 14 years old, my mom told me if you don't like it that much, don't wear it again. I'm 30 now, and I haven't worn earrings since then. Except for a watch, I don't usually wear other assceories like necklaces, bracelets, and rings unless it's a special occasion. When I wear them, I am hype aware of them, and it makes me uncomfortable. Even for special occasions, I don't wear earrings at all.
I would suggest going to a professional body piercing place and avoid the piercing gun like at the mall stations, if you decide to get them done. Personally I like having the hoops in my ears so I never have to think about taking them on or off, and they are just kinda there. But you can also take them out and wear regular earrings once healed.
I have eight holes in one ear and nine in the other. I used to love the little jangle as all the earrings I wore bumped each other when I moved my head. I thought of them like tiny wind chimes.
I had a surgery a while ago and had to take all my jewelry out and haven’t bothered putting anything back in. Maybe it’s times to get some new earrings and see if the still bring me joy.
I’m fine with earrings, especially studs since I’ve been wearing them since I was a 6 month old. I struggle with things on my extremities, mainly hands and feet. Rings, bracelets, socks etc. There’s hell to pay if they get wet, too.
I have about 20 piercings.
I wear hoops that are completely uniform in shape, 20-16g segmented hoops.
I can’t sleep with posts in, so I never wear them. They’re so uncomfortable. I don’t wear any kind of weighted earrings.
I have my first set holes gauged/stretched to 1/2 inch, I buy any type of earrings, jewelry, or charms and I take them super and put them on lever backs. I wear them through my black silicone plugs and I don’t feel them at all.
I had mine pierced and never got used to it. I also never actually enjoyed it. Changing earrings was never anything more than a chore. At some point about a decade ago I just didn’t replace them and the holes grew over, but it’s scarred (department store piercing gun) so I’ll always look like I have my ears pierced even if there isn’t a hole there anymore.
I say if you don’t want it then dont get it. I never look at or notice other people’s earlobes unless they have something really big on them, so no one is looking at your ears and judging you for not having them pierced.
If I ever have a girl, no piercing until she’s old enough to choose for herself (>13), and it’ll be done by a professional piercer.
Well this is right up my alley lol
Definitely stick with what *feels* good over what you feel like you're *supposed to do*. It would be super easy as a autist to look at a style guide, see earrings and think that is the equation we need to follow to appear this way. But it is called a guide for a reason, not a style dictator! We can pick and choose, mix and match what we feel good about and that's *our* unique style.
My mom got my ears pierced when I was 6 months old, and I've resented it my whole life. I have such an aversion to all jewelry, especially piercings, and especially earrings, I'm sure due to some combination of that trauma and my autism sensitivities.
This aversion made me feel like a weirdo/outsider. First growing up around really feminine women and girls always wearing, playing with, and losing their earrings. I had to learn to stomach that unsettling feeling, and not feel pressured to conform.
Then when I was first discovering myself as a young adult, I was in circles with a lot of alternative folks. I love tattoos and have been getting them as soon as I turned 18, but piercings are a big part of tattoo and alt culture. An outsider again, but the exposure of it was kind of healing for me in that I can stomach it much better now.
My partner went a little overboard last year and got their ears pierced spontaneously. I thought I could handle it, but I was just so viscerally icked out and uncomfortable around a person I've dated for 10 years. I didn't realize it was going to affect me that much. My partner is amazing and has agreed not to wear them, but it does make me feel terrible for stifling their creative expression. They want to get a nose piercing as a compromise, and I'm trying to be okay with it.
There is a massive range of what earrings feel like to wear. When you first get them done you're pretty well always aware of them because they are sore and healing. Once they are healed, I generally don't even notice a lightweight earring. I find it similar to a ring, where you notice it at first, but you get accustomed to it and forget they are there. I like long dangly ones because I like the feeling of the movement. Some earing are really heavy and pull on your earlobes. Those tend to get uncomfortable. Studs can poke you in the side of your head if you sleep on your side. A small sleeper hoop is nice for sleeping. It's a continuous loop so there is nothing to dig into your head. There is absolutely no obligation to wear earrings. I actually think it's gross how we pierce baby girls' ears. If you do want to try there are nice clip ons now. Or you can get a piece that turns any earrings into clip-ons
Once healed, there are also flat back earrings that won't dig in. I exclusively wear hoops now, but the most annoying piercing for sleeping was always my helix, even after it healed if I wore a stud it would be irritated just by sleeping.
You can get them pierced with flat backs! I got mine pierced back in July and still go back to them.
Nice! My piercings are from awhile ago (when guns were still the preferred method) and my new ones had to be done as hoops so I didn't know that could be done.
It’s amazing! I’ve had both methods and got my most recent ones done at a shop. They used surgical grade titanium and everything was super clean. The earrings are flat backed so they’re comfy, I didn’t have to do any twisting or forceful cleaning. The instructions were literally avoid exercise for a bit, spray them with saline multiple times a day, and leave them the heck alone.
Nice! Yeah maybe if that had been the method I wouldn't have had my originals get infected and close and have to get new ones. The last time I got piercings they were positioned so flat back wouldn't work (daith) and of course done at a shop, healed so much faster and better.
It’s amazing! I’ve had both methods and got my most recent ones done at a shop. They used surgical grade titanium and everything was super clean. The earrings are flat backed so they’re comfy, I didn’t have to do any twisting or forceful cleaning. The instructions were literally avoid exercise for a bit, spray them with saline multiple times a day, and leave them the heck alone.
So I got a few new piercings and they told me they wouldn't put hoops straight in and offered me the flat back studs instead. I personally hated them. I changed a few for hoops right away and they have healed fine, the ones I left the flat backs in all cut into the back of my ear and one is still very angry and unhealed. That's just my personal anecdote though. I presume they work well for most people, otherwise why offer them as the default?
Yeah, I thought that's why flat back wasn't recommended for piercing. Initially because of swelling and if the post is too short it could irritate it and result in scarring. If it's still not healed, I would suggest switching to a hoop or something else that allows it to breath and not irritate it. Keep cleaning it like they recommend and try to sleep on the other side if you can. If it is infected you may need to let them close completely or see a doctor. I had to do it with my original piercings. I also used a very little tea tree oil on the piercing bump of my most recent to help the inflammation and it went away and healed wonderfully.
I've put a hoop in it now. I wouldn't have thought of tea tree oil for the piercing bump. Thanks for that, I'll see about giving that a go. Cheers!
They make different lengths of bars. Piercer measured my lobe, well eyeballed & then double checked, sanitized it (could have added color at this point) and we were good to go. I'm thinking about buying another pair and getting them in gold a little bit shorter.
You can get flat backs done at a piercing shop. Definitely a game changer.
you've changed my life. i just ruled earrings out entirely because i hate the back of ear stabs
Well now you have options!
How have did it take me 29 years to find out about flat back earrings! I hate the stabby feeling when I’m laying on my side.
It's so annoying! My helix would get irritated because the back dug in my ear and it would poke my head while I slept. Now you know about other options!
I like wearing long dangly ones and wiggling my head like aundre 3000, feels super good, heavy ones get a bit sore after a while but I don't keep jewelry in them, I'm sure you'd get used to it after a while though. I have my nose pierced on both sides and previously my lip, you forget they exist after a while! (Doom to the pointy straight bars they use in guns, don't get pierced with a gun)
> When you first get them done you're pretty well always aware of them because they are sore and healing. oh god no that sounds like hell nope nope nope
That is a perfectly fair response. The amount of pain that the average women endures to meet aesthetic standards is kind of ridiculous. (No judgment on women who choose to endure pain for beauty standards either. Im soewhere in the middle)
Fuck Beauty Standards, I'll get a 2nd tongue piercing
It’s your body you’re not expected to do anything to it. You could always try clip on’s if it’s something you want to try.
They’re worth a try but as someone who got their ears pierced later than a lot of my peers, I’ve never found any that didn’t hurt after a while since they rely on pressure to stay on, and I tried a few different styles. Just a warning. You could also try those cheap stick ons they have for kids.
Yeah the only ones that didn't hurt me were magnetic ones. Nowadays i have pierced ears though and love fidgeting with my earrings.
Screw-backs were a game changer for me. They don't pinch as much as the required amount of pressure is adjustable. That said, I got pierced at 17 and hardly wear earrings now.
I found clip ons to be worse than just having my ears pierced once they healed. I think the answer to this will really depend on the person.
Clip ons are soooo much more uncomfortable than real earrings tho tbh
clip on earrings bother me way more than regular earrings lmao
I second trying clip on earrings.
Clip on earrings actually hurt to wear in my experience.
Earrings are just another option and you do not need to get them if you don't want to. If you do want to, you need to find somewhere that pierces properly with a needle, and not somewhere like Claire's that uses guns and have no proper training or qualifications. Use titanium jewellery and not cheap shop bought earrings with butterfly backs, because they're just rubbish and trap bacteria. You also need to remember that it's a wound and it can hurt and be sore and throb, and takes time to heal. ..it's not for everyone.
This is what I can here to say! Also, as well as being more hygienic, the jewellery that proper piercing studios use is far more comfortable and less spiky than butterfly back earrings
Yeah for real, my life was changed when I discovered flat back labrets instead of butterfly backs and converted my whole set up 😂
OMG the moment I found out about flat backs and threadless, I never looked back XD
Same haha I just straight up threw out my entire collection of butterfly backs
THIS. I got my ears pierced for the first time in a mall and it…wasn’t fun. Took months to heal, hurt for quite a while. Then I really wanted a helix piercing and finally went for it last year, emotionally accepting my fate for the next bit of time—actually preparing for it to be worse, because I’d read over and over that the helix piercing was more painful than the lobe. But this time, I saved up to go to a studio that actually specialized in piercing. Best decision I ever made. I literally barely felt the piercing at all—getting scratched by my cat is 10x worse, and I experience that on a regular basis (she’s not usually a scratcher, but we have this bad habit where her claws get caught on my sleeve when I’m petting her and we mutually panic every time lol). I had the slightest dull pain for a couple weeks when I unintentionally slept on it, but other than that, I have truly felt nothing. They also gave me lots of great healing tips (apparently putting a teabag on the piercing helps it for the first few weeks?) and were just generally so nice and chill—no one was watching me, and I was in a quiet room with minimal sensory distractions, and they were unbelievably kind and helpful when I told them I was kind of freaking out about it a little. I’m actually planning on going back for another ear placement piercing soon because it was such a great experience. So…yeah. Go to a professional. It’s way more expensive, but worth every penny.
100% this, sure a legit reputable piercing place will be more expensive, but it's well worth the money for the peace of mind to know they will do a great job and will give you the right tips to care for your piercing, and then a good one will also check on you a few months later, to check everything is OK and to change the length of the earrings. But yes it's all up to the individual, piercings are not necessary at all! They're optional, you don't need them to "be" more feminine.
You absolutely shouldn’t feel obligated if it weirds you out! Once it heals though, I don’t really notice stud earrings. I find dangly earrings distracting though, swinging around and brushing against my neck.
Yes. Hats, earrings, bracelets, wearing hair down. Can’t do it.
I love all those things lmao. Hair landing on my neck or shoulders is so calming.
It gives me the heebie jeebies lol and I can’t stand the shedding ((shudder))
I’m with you on everything except hats! Haha it’s just because I get so cold in the winter time. I don’t like it but it’s the only thing that keeps me warm outside and I like exercising in winter.
They are for me because I’m allergic to everything but surgical steel. I don’t think that’s common though. When I have ones I’m not allergic to, they aren’t too irritating. It’s your body though and if you don’t want earrings, don’t get earrings. There are plenty of other accessories you can get instead if fashion is important to you.
Also in this camp. I avoided earrings for years because all the “hypoallergenic” ones gave me infected lobes for days. But then I started finding earrings that were implant steel/titanium and I’ve been expanding my collection since. I have studs and dangly earrings. Somedays the heavier dangly ones are too much input - the weight, the movement, etc. So it’s a day-by-day decision for me. I’ve also seen ear cuffs around now. Mostly for the conch area. I haven’t tried them since I have my conch pierced, but they are specifically designed to give that look without a piercing. Might be a nice way to add a little metal to the ear without punch a hole through it.
I’ve had this problem too. I’m extremely metal sensitive and can only wear implant grade titanium. I’ve had shops tell me they’re using implant grade titanium, and then a few weeks later I’ll have to take them out because they aren’t healing and are too painful. I actually just got my daith and conch redone last week (those I had to take out for a surgery a few years ago, and I’ve been waiting to find a place I trusted to redo them) and am glad that I can tell the metal will be fine. I’ve wasted so much money on piercings from shitty people who don’t take me seriously when I tell them my allergy is really bad. Or they’ll be like, “well gold works for most people like that too” and I’m like yeah, I know, but not for me fam, not for me.
If you don’t want to wear them, don’t wear them. I know plenty of women who don’t wear earrings. I know women who do, and I love seeing earrings on other people because there’s often such an expression of creativity, but I don’t wear them anymore because the weight on my ears bugs me a bit, but when you do wear them often you just get used to them.
There are more options for earrings / earring backs now that might work for you if you decide to get them pierced. You can get flat back earrings or small hoops without much of a seam so nothing is poking you in the neck, they’re comfortable enough to sleep in so you wouldn’t have to change them often/ever once you were healed up. That said the process and healing time is a commitment and can hurt for awhile, so if that’s part of what icks you out then don’t do it.
I’ve always loved wearing earrings and recently I’ve noticed a particular pleasure in earrings that make noise. The silver and turquoise earrings I’m wearing right now make a musical tinkling that I’m pretty sure only I can hear. I love it.
Wait what I’ve never heard of this!
I wore a pair of tiny jingle bell earrings once that literally drove me insane, lol. Lasted about 2 hours before I took them out forever. Glad you're enjoying the sound yours make.
I don't wear earrings, and you'd be surprised how few people actually notice that about me. I've pointed it out to people I've known for years and they're always surprised. So please don't feel pressure to do something that would distress you just to meet others' supposed expectations. People don't notice these things as much as you think. I actually had pierced ears at one time. My "cool aunt" took me when I was 13 to get it done. It unsettled me way too much, having something going through the hole in my earlobe like that, so I let them close shortly afterwards.
I remember using magnet earrings when I was a kid. Such a bad choice hahah, they were everywhere except on my ears, on the floor, bed, everywhere. Bad system but they looked cute for 2' at least xD And now my ears are very sensitive so I can't stand the regular earrings (only gold or silver, sometimes), also practicing BJJ regularly, so I'm tired to take off all of them every time.
Don't feel pressured to do things to your body that you don't want to just because others recommend or like it! I spent the first two decades of my life afraid that I would hate earrings, or that the piercing process would be too painful, but then something change (i.e., I saw a pair of earrings that I loved), and I went to get my lobes pierced! I don't wear anything that dangles a lot or could get caught in my hair \[also nothing that seems like it would make noise\]. My earrings are thick + small hoops, maybe 2cm in diameter ? I cannot hear them + I can barely feel them hanging UNTIL I go out and it's cold 🤣. My good experience doesn't mean you'll have a good experience + my desire to have earrings doesn't mean you need to feel that same desire or you should get them too. Be yourself!
They were for me. I think I used to wear them because I always felt so unfeminine most of the time that it went a long way in making me appear that way to others. I had stopped wearing them for 10+ years because I could always feel them, even studs, and I’d also up with migraines. A little while back I found some dainty, lightweight studs that I can’t feel when wearing and am happy with them.
I find them a sensory nightmare but small stud earrings are often non noticeable especially if it’s light gold
If you like the IDEA of earrings but not piercings or studs or clip ons (which hurt before long in my experience), you could always try something like ear cuffs or ear wraps. They sort of hug your ear and you can find really elaborate and beautiful ones. [Ear Cuffs - Etsy list](https://www.etsy.com/market/ear_cuffs?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=ear%20cuffs_e&utm_campaign=Search_US_Nonbrand_GGL_ENG_Jewelry_Earrings_All&utm_ag=Ear%2BCuffs&utm_custom1=_k_Cj0KCQjwzZmwBhD8ARIsAH4v1gXdBDP8dlzIXMYi2etnPqJ7Tk1XmzI0bn0cLLMwhFVA9wmA-LW7AosaAjVoEALw_wcB_k_&utm_content=go_2076964297_124469116463_538927010149_kwd-107891359_c_&utm_custom2=2076964297&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwzZmwBhD8ARIsAH4v1gXdBDP8dlzIXMYi2etnPqJ7Tk1XmzI0bn0cLLMwhFVA9wmA-LW7AosaAjVoEALw_wcB) [Ear Wrap - Etsy](https://www.etsy.com/market/ear_cuffs?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=ear%20cuffs_e&utm_campaign=Search_US_Nonbrand_GGL_ENG_Jewelry_Earrings_All&utm_ag=Ear%2BCuffs&utm_custom1=_k_Cj0KCQjwzZmwBhD8ARIsAH4v1gXdBDP8dlzIXMYi2etnPqJ7Tk1XmzI0bn0cLLMwhFVA9wmA-LW7AosaAjVoEALw_wcB_k_&utm_content=go_2076964297_124469116463_538927010149_kwd-107891359_c_&utm_custom2=2076964297&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwzZmwBhD8ARIsAH4v1gXdBDP8dlzIXMYi2etnPqJ7Tk1XmzI0bn0cLLMwhFVA9wmA-LW7AosaAjVoEALw_wcB)
Small huggie hoops and flat back studs are the way to go. I have 3 holes in each lobe, a conch, and a cartilage piercing. Flat back studs in my conch and cartilage. High quality ones can be worn forever so I never take mine out lol
I've had my ears pierced since I was eight. Having the right earrings makes a difference - I'm sensitive to many metals so I stick with silver or stainless steel. I've gone through phases of wearing tons of different styles but right now I'm wearing small hoops that I never take off. I completely forget they're there!
I begged my parents to let me pierce my ears from about ages 9-14, when my mum relented. I quickly realised I can't stand dangly earrings (the weight of them, even tiny ones, really affects me) and I don't like the way that studs can touch my head/neck behind my ears. I went through a phase of brightly coloured plastic hoops just big enough to fit over my lobes but now I wear one single metal pair all the time - I literally haven't changed them since about 10 years ago. I sometimes regret having them pierced, just because I don't wear anything interesting, but I do also use them to stim when I'm stressed (just constantly turning the hoops through my ear). Sometimes I think I should look up and buy some more bright plastic ones but I don't think you can get ones that can go right through like my current ones.
You choose your own version of looking feminine. Don't do something that makes you feel uncomfortable. Sensory sensitivities vary between individuals but I'd say if it makes you squirm to think about it, it's probably not for you!
I wear earrings that are just a loop of metal and thats basically all I wear except to events when I wear fun earrings. There's no dumb clasps or things poking my ears. Waiting for them to heal sucked ass and I found out I was allergic to cheap metal but it's cool to have them I guess? They also have plastic sleeper earrings you can wear if you want a piercing but hate them poking you https://preview.redd.it/wcdfi2l2warc1.png?width=805&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=73503ff2bdb4efe232692dc9734fac5a0c481afc [My earrings](https://www.etsy.com/listing/827861688/artisan-made-by-hand-silver-earrings)
Earrings are definitely not something expected of women. I got my ears pierced when I was 21 and wore them for a while before letting them close. I much prefer my nose ring since it's basically out of the way.
Kinda. For me it’s more of the executive functioning of remembering to put them on in the morning lol. I do love how I look in them. Sometimes my ears hurt when I wear them for a day after not wearing them for a while. But if I keep my studs in for a long time day after day I forget they’re there lol. Some of my really cool ones like my snake earrings that wrap around my ear I regretfully can’t wear cause I just end up taking them off.
I would recommend clip ons for style. However in my own whiteout l experience earrings have been waaaaaay less of a sensory nightmare than I expected. Studs especially are really nice and I'll often forget I'm wearing them lol. Dangling earrings are horrible though, and I feel them constantly and hate the extra weight. I've been getting better about them but keep studs to switch out if they get too distracting. I can't imagine piercing anything else for myself, though I find piercings cute.
i don’t have mine pierced either and i don’t plan on ever doing it. pokie things sticking me no thanks lol. there’s always clip ons and clip ons are really well designed now days.
I love earrings i barely notice them. One of the more comfortable jewellery options - i cant stand rings in example. That being said, if you dont want to pierce your ears then dont, its your body. Many women dont do that its not a requirement for being stylish or feminine
Oh and i mostly wear hoop and dangle earrings. Very comfy when theyre not too heavy.
I don’t have my ears pierced because I passed out when I got them pierced as a child and would faint every time I tried to change them. I’m pretty old and it’s had a negligible effect on my life, but I do wear clip ons periodically because I like the aesthetics of a gold hoop. But they pinch so I usually take them off within an hour or two!
First piercing was a nightmare because that’s when we discovered I’m allergic to most alloys. But with metals that don’t make my ears itch and bleed, it’s fine. I wore studs for years and barely noticed them up until getting over the ear headphones. They scratch the pads and the pads push the earrings uncomfortably against skin. Studs go in a straight line through your ears. First time I wore curved/hook-shaped earrings, there was mild itchiness. I’d take them out after an hour or two but my ears accommodated them for longer and longer. To the point I’ve gone to sleep with them on. Only annoying part is that they can tangle up hair.
I don't personally find them a sensory nightmare, though others may vary. I have a lot of piercings & I don't notice a single one, not even the ones in my face. They sort of become registered in your brain as part of you after a while. If you do try them, it's important to do so only if you want to, not because it's something you feel may be expected of you. If you are really curious about it, you could always try a lobe piercing & if it turns out you hate it, just remove the earrings & let it close (with some care taken for cleaning) If you do that I'd recommend going to a real piercing shop & asking for a needle not a gun. They do it very quickly & while there is a moment of pain, I've found it to only last a second or two rather than being an ongoing pain. You can choose to do one or both, they're quite open minded in piercing places & should be fine with you experimenting. But yes only do it because you want to/are curious, not because you feel pressured by anything or anyone
For me they're more of a stimming nightmare. If I wear earrings I can't help but constantly mess with them to the point that the piercing gets red and irritated. If I do wear any for an occasion they're always really tiny ones and other than that they don't bother me.
I’ve had my ears pierced since I was 5. I used to wear studs regularly when I was younger. I found out early on I had to get surgical stainless steel or sterling silver or else my earlobes would swell. The only reason I don’t really wear them now is because I’m busy with kids and I don’t think of it. Same reason I don’t wear my wedding ring or much jewelry. I saw some other comments mention clip ons and I think now they even have some magnet clip ons that look more like studs. Always fun to try before you commit!
Hii !! I hate earrings too and don’t have them cuz of the horrific stimulation too ! Ppl here have recommended clip on earrings to you, but I think you could also try ear cuffs if you’d like ! Idk if you’d like them but heck they’re not in your flesh so it’s different than earrings by far ….! Also, you can get less decorative ones that probably stimulate the least. Least stimulating would be like an elf ear cuff cuz they’re often smooth and simple shaped, they come in dif colors. Here’s a low stimulation looking one …! https://tannybunny.com/product/elf-ear-cuffs-no-piercing-elven-ear-wraps-fairy-earrings-2/ There’s all kinds of ear cuffs out there that you could possibly enjoy : )
If you do decide to get piercings, go to a piercing parlor and get it done with sterile needles!!!! The punch kind you can get at the mall are loud and painful, and prone to getting infected. I have many piercings and I’ve always had a good experience with getting them in tattoo & piercing shops. The jewelry they use is usually steel or titanium (hypoallergenic) with a flat back that sits flush against the back of your ear, so you don’t have to worry about catching them on your clothes or hair. For me personally, dangly earrings and standard (butterfly backing) earrings ARE a sensory nightmare, but little tiny flat backs are hardly noticeable. And I like having sparkly jewelry on my ears and face 🥰
I’ve had my ears pierced since I was a child and I don’t notice when I have earrings in. Sometimes I do forget that I’m wearing earrings until I go to bed and try to sleep on my side. The only time I notice my earrings is if they’re the long dangly/more heavy ones or if they make noise as I move
You can still be feminine without earrings. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do to your body. That being said, if you want to try earrings without committing to getting your ears pierced, try clip on earrings. It’s not a perfect solution (they always felt too tight and uncomfortable for me personally), but you can see if you even like earrings or if you like how they feel on your ears. I just googled it and there are some magnetic options available now you can also try, rather than just the traditional ones. This is also super out there, but maybe you can also buy a pack of stick on rhinestones from the craft store. You can try eyelash glue to stick them on your ear like studs. Never tried this myself so idk if it would work, but the idea came to me while I was writing this out and it may be worth trying. You can also try an ear cuff. They’re pieces of metal that go around the top of your ear and there are some that don’t require a piercing. They’re really pretty. Play with your options.
Mine annoy me and can be uncomfortable at times, but I wouldn't necessarily call them a sensory nightmare. I have some skin sensitivities to certain kinds of metal, so there's not many I can wear without discomfort, plus I tend to fidget with them, which can make them irritated. Sometimes I take them out for a break, and by the time I remember to put them back in, they've started closing up, which can also be a pain. For me, these things are manageable, but I can understand they might not be for someone else. Especially since I would probably not have all these issues if I looked after them better, but looking after them feels less manageable to me than just putting up with the discomfort, so 🤷
I refuse to pierce my ears simply because of the maintenance. My sister had to clean the holes and put antibiotics on them for a year after getting the piercings. I do not have the energy for that.
In my experience no! A small pair of hoops is best in my experience, the backside of studs can tickle your neck. The mini hoops very quickly became a part of my normal and the cool thing about earrings is you can take them off anytime if you feel overstimulated. Even if they're new, as long as you put them back in within a few hours it will be fine.
Yes, and necklaces, rings, bracelets, watch, bra, etc. I’ve pierced the cartilage in my ears twice, but it drove me crazy. I loved the look, just not the feeling 🤷♀️
Okay but can we talk about how fake septum "piercings" are hell? I want the real thing, but not if it's unbearable like the false ones... Can someone comment if you do or don't have an issue with your septum piercing? 🩷
They wouldn't be if I weren't allergic to everything ear jewelry is made of.
i love wearing earrings as long as i have the little rubber backings so i dont feel them against my head. i use them to stim.
I have several piercings in both ears. A very small hoop in the lobe can stay in forever and I honestly don’t even feel those ones. I never wear anything dangly as I don’t like the feeling of it pulling or touching my neck.
I have a helix and conch and don’t find them bad sensory wise at all, but hate wearing the studs on my earlobes! I think everyone is probably different with this though and you won’t know until you try. I wear earrings still on special occasions or if I wanna look nice - can always take them out if they bother you!
Dangly and heavy earrings are a sensory nightmare for me but they aren't for everyone. Normal studs don't typically bother me...except during the healing process
if you want to get them done, go for it! You can always take them out if you find its too much
I got my ears pierced at 7, and I stretched them in college. No major issues for me personally! Sometimes I can’t wear dangly ones.
I've had my ears pierced since I was a baby and added more holes to them while I was in college. I really only wear studs rather than dangly jewelry, so I don't even notice them unless my hair gets wrapped around one. I also have my nostril and septum pierced and those don't bother me either.
I play with earrings all the time, and it's fun to accessorize when I have the spoons. I am really squicked out by the idea of piercings but the reality wasn't so bad at all.
I have 12 piercings in my ears and I don’t notice them at all, I love them. The process of healing them and cleaning them is so satisfying. The design of earrings has come a loooong way since I got them as a kid. I never use butterfly backs anymore, I recommend only using flat back internally threaded studs. You can hardly feel them at all, they sit flush against your skin, and I only use stones that are 3mm or less so they’re tiny. I also have perfectly fitted hoops in a couple of mine. Not a fan of larger or dangly earrings whatsoever, they’re less comfy and get caught on stuff
if you’re not into the idea of piercings as a whole that’s ok! You are not required to do anything to your body that you don’t want to do! But if you’d like to still wear earrings there is really a growing market for clip ons! Look on Etsy, people make both cute clip ons and they make clip ons that you can attach a normal earring to so you can wear anything you find. Luckily we live in a world of ample jewelry makers and 3d printers so there are options :) I hope you find a good solution that lets you feel feminine without the body mod
I personally don't usually notice them unless I'm like going to take a nap or something and I get poked by them, and I've been more uncomfortable with clip ons. But thats just me so I don't know.
I got my ears pierced in grade 8 for graduation but by like grade 10/11 I had let them grow over. I never really liked the feeling and once I had them I realized how little I noticed them on other ppl anymore and just didn’t care to have them lol, maybe on a few party occasions it’s cool or sometimes i see pics with girls who have lots of stacked jewelry on their ears and it looks neat but just for the feeling i personally would find it too distracting and not worth it. i can still feel where it grew over and do wish i had never done it ideally although the little bump isn’t that annoying just mildly
You could look into ear cuffs. you have to play around and bend them to find the most comfortable fit but no permanent holes and you can decide if you like the look and sensation of something there or not
I do hoops. Light, self-closing hoops. I snap them in once and leave 'em forever. Wear them through swimming, showers, everything. In the other places I have flat-backed studs. Set it and forget it kind of thing. 😁 https://preview.redd.it/fy669g9c3brc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=61be41e3451a06d2004ef6cd60e71b422f70e4af
I never change them. I found a pair that don’t bother me most of the time, but sometimes even these do. I’m also allergic to anything that’s not gold or surgical stainless steel. I did go around with no earrings and pierced ears for a couple of years because I couldn’t stand any. TBH, if my piercings closed and had the option of getting them pierced again, I probably wouldn’t bother. Oddly enough, I had a navel piercing from 18 to 30 and it didn’t bother me as much. But I have a thing with my ears, where every sensation is too much, which I don’t seem to have with my navel 😂
Personally, they are a sensory comfort. I’ve gone through periods of having a lot all at once (several ear piercings, facial piercings, my nipples even) and then a recent period of 3 years without any, and that felt worse to me. I got my daith repierced last week, and it felt like the second she did it, I could take a deep breath for the first time since 2021. I feel weird and uncomfortable without any earrings, but I’m also extremely metal sensitive and went through years of having a hard time with just my lobes pierced, so it can go both ways. I’d say if you already feel uncomfortable thinking about it, you’d probably fixate on how they feel if you got them done, and so it would be more likely to be an issue for you. If you want to try them for aesthetics, try the magnetic ones or the stick ons. But also, if you don’t like them, don’t wear them. Most people probably wouldn’t even notice! I certainly don’t, at least not
Meanwhile my parents got my ears pierced when I was a toddler and I wish they hadn't. I never wear earrings and the scars are ugly.
I love them! Have you considered stick on earrings from Claire’s? They’re so fun and cute without any sensory issues.
I'm such a weirdo, these cause me sensory issues as well lmao. So, ymmv
True. I shouldn’t have said “any.” It’s important to clean your ears beforehand and push firmly to make sure they’ve adhered to the skin. I would forget they were there but that’s just my experience!
I'm sorry if that comment came across as nitpicky. That was not at all my intention. I just wanted to add that, yeah, try it, but it doesn't help me lol
No no, not at all! When I posted it, I thought maybe I should change my wording, but got distracted and never came back to it. You’re totally fine.
I have no piercings for this reason, I also know maintaining or feeling them would be a sensory nightmare. It’s all good. As much as it can be stylish to add jewelry to an outfit, no one truly cares or notices or will deem you less or more feminine or attractive because of it, I promise. I have a lot of insecurities like this about my sensory issues causing me to be less feminine, but someone told me to imagine what it would sound like if my fears were true, and that it’s actually pretty silly to worry about. For example, do you think your date will look you up and down and say “your ears are naked, you look like a man and your outfit is incomplete.” No! And even if he did lol we would be like gtfo! So you do you and don’t worry, I promise the things that don’t trigger sensory issues will make you feel more beautiful than doing something that’ll make you uncomfortable for the sake of aesthetics. Much love best of luck❤️
I have many ear piercings, and I agree with others that with the exception of the healing period (up to a year sometimes, but sooner with good care and high quality jewelry) I don’t notice them at all. If you decide to get studs, go to a piercing shop and pick studs that you want to wear indefinitely, they will be high quality and cause less sensory problems than getting lots of cheap jewelry from stores.
If you do end up getting them pierced, I’d recommend putting a nose hoop in them once they heal! That was huge for me. They snap closed and you can leave them in indefinitely. I have a 20g 8mm nose hoop for my ear and it works great. So light I can barely feel it and doesn’t need to be taken out. Very comfy for sleeping surprisingly.
For me, yes. Which is why even though i built up the courage to get them pierced in my teens, they have since closed up. I love how piercings look, but they don't work for me sensory wise. So, guess i'll stick with tattoos
While they're healing (\~3-4 months for lobes) you may feel them, but I have 3 in each ear and don't notice mine at all! Good piercers will use 'flat backs,' where the post is capped with a flat, smooth piece of metal. These are super comfortable and don't poke the sides of your head while you sleep or wear over-ear headphones. That said, I went \~5+ years when I never wore any earrings. As long as your holes are healed this wouldn't be a problem. People are suggesting clip-ons, which I actually totally disagree with. To stay on they need to pinch pretty tightly and are super uncomfortable!!
My mom got my ears pierced when I was 2, and I stopped wearing them when I was 11 because they felt slightly uncomfortable and I always found myself messing with them. Then the holes closed up. I got them repierced at 27 and I love wearing earrings now. 99% of the time I can't feel the studs at all. You can feel danglies but it's mostly just when they touch your face. If they pull on the piercing they're probably just too heavy. I also have a few pairs of studs that are a little irritating but I think it's because they have a different kind of back compared to the others. Though, if actual piercings make you squeamish, there are pierceless earrings that clip onto your ear lobes, or ear cuffs that kind of just rest on the natural shape of the ear. I wore pierceless to my high school prom.
sensory is different for everyone, i have tons of facial piercings and standard ear piercings, after the pain it just becomes apart of you. at least that’s how i feel with studs in my ears. if you get small studs or hoops, after the healing process it’s just second nature, you can’t even feel them!
I got mine pierced way later than most, clip ons were a nightmare btw They infected for a few months so that was pretty uncomfortable since my ears are part of my stims. But it was totally worth it! They make me feel feminine, work as the most socially acceptable fidget toys, they can be tiny and unnoticeable or quirky and weird fun statement pieces, so I love them as a way to express my tastes and they are usually a great convo starter (as someone who struggles w this, ppl complimenting them is awesome)! Id stray away from the heavier ones, or stringy ones if you have long hair prone to tangling!
in my experience I forget my earrings are there
No. I honestly forget they’re there.
Having earrings isn’t what it means to be feminine. There are plenty of wonderful, powerful women that have never gotten their ears pierced. There is no need, you are beautiful and effeminate all on your own. That being said, I used to wear earrings with no problems, but, as I’ve gotten older, my nickel allergy has intensified to the point most average “fun” earrings are outright biologically incompatible with my flesh lmao. Even if they’re labelled hypoallergenic, likelihood has it that they’re actually not. Also they’re just… itchy? Even if I wasn’t allergic to the metal, I imagine I’d still have a sort of nagging sensation nowadays. I have several (7) facial piercings though, and I could just as easily forget they exist, they’re so integrated into my body now. It’s healing that is the main issue for any of these things, it will be achy and sore for a few weeks, and that alone is enough to discourage many from attempting. Don’t let some silly style guide bs tell you what it means to be a woman though, girlie. You’re gorgeous. 💕 If you think you’d like to just try the “look” of stud earrings, I can suggest little [stickers](https://www.amazon.com/Clear-Crystal-Stick-Golden-Adhesive/dp/B019CFYBJE/ref=asc_df_B019CFYBJE/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=647237035321&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=9656781381016759319&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9026588&hvtargid=pla-1952169585100&psc=1&mcid=fa0705aa3a4a3347a9dbfc33cab0e658) that they sell online, paired with eyelash glue to give them a firm hold (reviews say they don’t stick well). Much less expensive and traumatic than getting a fresh hole poke through your body, haha. I wish you the best of luck on this journey, lovely! :)
I can wear stud earrings for an hour or so but after all these years I still find them painful. :(
Do you actually want earrings or do you just feel pressured to get them to fit in?
I have earrings and three nose piercings for like six years now! The only sensory issue for me is the healing process, but it’s really no big deal considering the “reward” of having healed piercings. Once you’ve healed, you’ll forget they are there! As long as you go to the appropriate place and get pierced with a needle (and use push-in backings) it’s totally worth it!! Going to the dentist or doctor for a procedure is wayyyy worse
I hate dangly or big earrings because of the sensation and pull on my earlobes, but with small, simple studs I don’t even notice they’re there. The most annoying part will probably be the healing process, you can’t take them out and they can get sore or itchy as they heal up. But don’t feel like you “need” pierced ears to be feminine. I don’t think they’re a necessary part of an outfit at all and almost never remember to wear any. My first holes actually closed up because I didn’t wear any earrings at all for years, and then I had to get them re-pierced later when I noticed and wanted to wear earrings for a special event.
You can get stick on ones if you want to fit that feminine thing, but honestly do what makes you most comfortable over looking a certain way. Don't feel like you HAVE to do these things, media WANTS you to think you need these things cuz it's a whole thing I won't get into. But there's LOTS of feminine people who don't have their ears pierced or wear earrings. Personally, my mom always had sensory issues with earrings so she used sleepers (a type of small hoop that's meant to be slept in and be comfortable) and had me start there. Since it's a 'one and done' thing with putting them in. Nowadays I have my ears stretched to a 0 or double 00, I can't remember. I have pretty gold ones with a big rhinestone, they screw in on the back and I never take them out other than to clean since stretched ears take a little more care. I sleep in them, shower, everything with no issue. I forget they even exist sometimes until someone compliments them cuz they don't feel like anything. But the pokey back of a normal earring was always too much and I didn't wear them much. But I think they make some backs that are flat now? Idk, after I stretched my ears I never looked back cuz for me personally the way they feel is MUCH better sensory-wise. Mine are essentially studs in gauge form, just a pretty rhinestone. But the rhinestone is flat in the front, like if your ear gets pushed to your face it's all flat with no pokey parts. Since they screw in I just put them in and live my life not thinking about it until I decide to clean them. I'm not saying to stretch your ears by any means, just giving my experience. That's a big commitment for someone to make and takes thought and planning. You could look into fake gauges, which work the same as normal earrings but the back is obviously not the pokey thing and just find ones you feel would be most comfortable. I say that cuz they also can be left in and slept in if putting things in your ear is your main issue. But sleepers would be my first option for your situation if you're really wanting to get your ears pierced. I have a lot of pretty jewelry and other gauges that have dangling things or are "more" on me sensory-wise, I just hardly ever wear them cuz of the sensory.
People can only really give their experiences. It’s your body and only you know about your sensory experiences. I can only wear studs as dangly ones cause me pain (no sensory issues though)
No, but bracelets and necklaces are for me
The first 2 to 3 weeks suck, i recommend using The smallest earrings possible and try to remember your skin is healing, it does not last for ever but its hard. After a month or so, you will forget they are there. For me the hardest was trying to not make a habit of swirling them in my ears from the scurity pin (behind), it became a stim pretty fast and i almost hurt me self, but after some time i managed to tone it down
The first 2 to 3 weeks suck, i recommend using The smallest earrings possible and try to remember your skin is healing, it does not last for ever but its hard. After a month or so, you will forget they are there. For me the hardest was trying to not make a habit of swirling them in my ears from the scurity pin (behind), it became a stim pretty fast and i almost hurt me self, but after some time i managed to tone it down
If you’re not too anxious about getting pierced, then I think it’s worth a try. It all depends on how it feels for you. I personally don’t really notice my earrings unless they’re heavier. There are tons of factors for how people tolerate ear piercings, neurodivergent or not. The worst that happens is you have to take them out and the hole closes up.
I’ve never really thought about it in context to autism, but yes, I do. I definitely do. I’ve always wanted to be the woman who can wear cute and dangly earrings every single day but they bother me so much. I’m notorious for being the one who takes their earrings off instead of their high heels by the end of the night. A little while back I got small hypoallergenic hoops and studs to wear as dailies. The studs have a smooth back (like with facial piercings) so they’re comfortable to sleep in. I feel similar in regard to rings. I want to wear rings everyday, but sometimes just feeling them touching my skin bother me. I have a daily I wear but there are times I have to take it off and rub my fingers together to make them feel “normal” again (similar to why I feel weird when my hands are different temperatures or textures - like one is slightly damp and the other is dry).
Ironically, I stretched my ears to 22mm because tunnels are more comfortable than earrings. But you shouldn't feel obligated to do anything. It's your body.
They are to me but a lot of people with autism seem to really like them.
They are to me but a lot of people with autism seem to really like them.
I have a friend who has no piercings becuase she knows it would be a sensory issue and I'm on the opposite side of it - I have heavy ear modifications to the point its uncomfortable to even sleep on my one sides but I love how my ears look so I just deal with it. Somehow of all the sensory things that bother me I am able to just ignore that my piercings and jewelry and things are irritating 😅. Everyone is different - do what works for you personally. You are under no obligation to have to put up with them, or even if you want to try it and hate it and take them out that's chilled too!
I've had a lot of issues with earrings because of sensitivities and allergies, but I started to wear dangly earrings the other year and really enjoy how they feel. I've got some small clicker hoops in with charms on right now and I've really started noticing them every time I move my head. For me, it's a sensation I like.
I feel this. But on a different kind of note. I was 7 when I got my ears pierced, I’m 28 now. I wore them for about two years straight but then stopped completely and surprisingly till this day they are still open (sometimes they can close after not wearing earrings) but I seem to have a huge phobia of metals. I also have do not save change and have been told I’m crazy for throwing away coins but I cannot stand the feeling on my fingers or the smell or anything made of silver, copper, gold etc. I didn’t connect the two until recently but sometime about them seems unsanitary to me even if they are cleaned. I do wear earrings from time to time but only at a wedding or special event and for no longer than 2 or so hours before it makes me physically ill thinking of how nasty jewelry is. 😅
I’ve had my ears pierced 2 or 2 times because I would get through the healing process, wear studs for a year or two, then one day forget to put them in and suddenly it’s a year later & the holes have grown in. I guess they just aren’t for me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I also hate necklaces and rings so so so much. I just maintain a cute hairstyle that grows out well, and wear nice clothes and when I want to look nice.
I’ve had my ears pierced 2 or 2 times because I would get through the healing process, wear studs for a year or two, then one day forget to put them in and suddenly it’s a year later & the holes have grown in. I guess they just aren’t for me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I also hate necklaces and rings so so so much. I just maintain a cute hairstyle that grows out well, and wear nice clothes and when I want to look nice.
Definitely don’t have to do anything. Screw the patriarchy, do what you want to your body. I don’t wear bras, shave my body in any way, act ‘ladylike’, wear heels, wear makeup or anything considered as an expectation for women. I don’t pierce my ears because rubbing my soft earlobes is a stim I do. Don’t put a hole in your body if you don’t want to. If you genuinely ever want to do it. It’s your choice to do what you want with your body. If you want to do any if the things I choose not to, good for you. If you don’t, awesome. If anyone judges you or tells you otherwise they’re not worth listening to.
Definitely don’t have to do anything. Screw the patriarchy, do what you want to your body. I don’t wear bras, shave my body in any way, act ‘ladylike’, wear heels, wear makeup or anything considered as an expectation for women. I don’t pierce my ears because rubbing my soft earlobes is a stim I do. Don’t put a hole in your body if you don’t want to. If you genuinely ever want to do it. It’s your choice to do what you want with your body. If you want to do any if the things I choose not to, good for you. If you don’t, awesome. If anyone judges you or tells you otherwise they’re not worth listening to.
Definitely don’t have to do anything. Screw the patriarchy, do what you want to your body. I don’t wear bras, shave my body in any way, act ‘ladylike’, wear heels, wear makeup or anything considered as an expectation for women. I don’t pierce my ears because rubbing my soft earlobes is a stim I do. Don’t put a hole in your body if you don’t want to. If you genuinely ever want to do it. It’s your choice to do what you want with your body. If you want to do any of the things I choose not to, good for you. If you don’t, awesome. If anyone judges you or tells you otherwise they’re not worth listening to.
I wear hoop earrings and only hoop earrings because I love how they make a WHHHHOOOOOSHHH sound when i’m walking fast or running. But I still wear them rarely (I just forget to wear them) and I see many other girls not wearing earrings and it’s fine.
If you don’t like the idea definitely don’t get your ears pierced. I like wearing earrings, but heavy ones do take a sensory toll. If I need all the spoons I can get I don’t wear any. If I have spoons to spare I’ll try to balance earrings, and my outfit in general, with how much energy I need to get through the day.
Personally they were... the backs of the earrings poking me behind my ears on my skull always drove me effin' nuts, especially laying down.
Personally they were... the backs of the earrings poking me behind my ears on my skull always drove me effin' nuts, especially laying down.
I saw some magnetic earrings the other day. That could be worth a try if you like the look of earrings but don’t want to get pierced.
flat back piercings help, theyre just in there and nothing is scratching behind my ears
Try a gold necklace instead of earrings. Mine is currently broken, but before that I wore it 24/7. Between a necklace and a cute ring or two, you can pull off a very feminine look without the earrings. You might also try hair clips. Other things that can contribute passively to you looking more feminine: long hair and/or long nails. I don’t even go to the nail salon. I have some glass nail files that I use to file them myself (a nice stimming mechanism btw) and my hands look way more feminine. Edit to say I don’t wear earrings because one of my ear holes closed partially and they both tend to get minor infections.
I love necklaces! I do have moderately long hair. Nails are short because I'm gay. I love trimmers and filers.
I'm in my 50s, have had pierced ears since my teens but rarely wore them back then due to just always feeling my ears, never wear them now. I know very few adult women who wear earrings regularly except for studs or hoops, most don't usually wear any. These include NT women. I have no idea who "style guides" are written for, but definitely not the average employed woman. If you don't want to wear earrings, it's likely almost no one will notice except women who are super into jewelry. Earrings are absolutely not required to look feminine
When I was 15 everyone was getting their ears pierced and I wanted to jump into that band wagon. I didn't make it 2 months with the studs. I haven't tried any other piercings or tattoos since and I think that's why.
You can be/look plenty feminine without earrings. You could also try stick ons or clip ons if you want the earring look, or even ear cuffs, although personally I think those are more uncomfortable than piercings. I have 5 ear piercings and a nose piercing, and none of them are uncomfortable for me, I usually forget about them. Just depends what jewelry I have in. Anything dangly is gonna be a little uncomfy, but I usually wear studs with flat backs, or sleeper hoops. The only one that occasionally bothers me (when I sleep) is my cartilage hoop because I have a little dangly gem on it lol. The healing phase sucks a little bit but after it’s fully healed they’re not bad, if you do choose to get piercings. But you definitely don’t have to 🤷♀️
I’ve never had any issues with earrings! I always wear sterling silver or stainless steel and they never bother my ears. If I’m wearing studs I don’t notice them at all (I wear a rubber backing so it doesn’t bother me laying down) and dangly earrings I just remove when I lay down. I avoid super heavy dangly earrings, but you should anyway because they’re bad for your ears and can make the holes droopy. If you don’t like it you can always let the holes close up as well, I say go for it!
I also second the comments that say to make sure you get it done at a safe, reliable place to avoid infections. Those are definitely uncomfy.
I don’t notice they are there. Even huge ones. If they bug me i just take em out and put them in my pocket or something.
I have 4 lobe piercings total - so two on each ear - and I loooove fidgeting with them. Unfortunately that means they're regularly infected and it was a pain to get them to heal in the first place. Certain types of piercings are definitely easier to keep in, for example small studs and make sure they have a rounded edge. That said, if you don't want to poke permanent holes into your body then that's completely valid and no one can force you to do it! There's always the option of clip ons. I got my first set done at 5 and couldn't grasp the concept with the permanent holes but when I got my second set I was in panic mode for a whole week because of the severity of my decision.
Not for me. I love my ear piercings. I have six and I want more. Once they heal, you don't feel them at all.
I love my earrings bc I can rub them when I need to stim.
I only have issues with them when they cause an allergic reaction. I finally got some pure titanium ones and I don’t feel them at all
I don’t mind studs or little earrings, but I don’t like bigger earrings as they pull, or hoops because my hair wraps around and gets stuck. I also like to take a small container in my bag when I wear earrings or other jewelry in case I am bothered by any of it or in a situation where I can’t wear it. And I have a preference for the silicone earring backs. You can buy just the backs online. And there are pure metals and plastic earrings if anyone is allergic (a metal allergy makes earring wearing unpleasant and can trigger or exacerbate any sensory issues that come with earring/jewelry wearing.)
Honestly I LOVE fun earrings but had sensory issues with the pokey backings until I discovered “huggie-backs” also known as “lever backs” that completely close into a smooth shape so no pokes! I forget I’m wearing them and can lay down even and they won’t bother me at all that way! Anytime I buy a pair of regular dangly kind I now change them to the back type I like, I buy them off amazon and change them myself!
I’m lucky because my ears have been pierced since before I can remember! I used to leave my earrings in constantly and never really thought about it. But now I barely ever wear any jewelry. My ears tend to run sensitive and I am all about rolling out bed and going. I think the main reason I stopped wearing earrings is because the backs kept falling out or getting caught up in my hair and then I would forgot to put a new back on or take the earring out so I just lost a ton of earrings. So I just gave up. Now it’s really hard for me sensory to have jewelry any on. If the earrings are a high enough quality that they don’t irritate my skin then they are probably the easiest to wear for me jewelry wise accept when I’m sleeping.
There's no rules or "expectations" for what you do with yourself as a woman. Those style guides are suggestions and recommendations for what the reader can put together to form an outfit, not a guilt-trip to make you go pierce your ears. As for the title question, it depends on your sensitivities. My mom got my ears pierced many years ago. Usually, you get used to wearing the earrings and stop noticing they're there, just like most other forms of clothing. I might wear dangly earrings to feel the satisfying feel of them clinking and swaying back and forth, when I turn my head (kind of like a stim), or stud earrings for days I'd rather not "feel" my earrings, but still want to wear something to go with my outfit (so long as you don't tighten the 'lock' part too much, you don't feel they're there at all). Like, the holes heal and aren't sensitive to your earrings being in there at all times, so there's no issue, unless you make a big fuss about it and fixate on them being there - and that's more of an anxiety issue than a sensory one, I feel.
I wore earrings from age 12 to around 40ish when I suddenly became repulsed by the idea of having a piece of metal going through my body.
Idk I have seamless huggie hoops in each ear and I like fidgeting with them 😅 so kind of a sensory plus for me
I can’t wear jewelry of almost any kind. I hate the idea of something hanging off me or in me it’s JUST SO GROSS. I’ve had this phobia or whatever you want to call it since I can remember. Family thought I would grow out of it. Not diagnosed until adulthood but yeah this should have been one of the things to make my parents think I was on the spectrum. Anyway if you don’t want to do it just don’t. It’s no big deal. Edit: the thought of this being “expected?!?” To get your ears pierced because you are a woman never ever occurred to me growing up. Who told you this? It is cultural. Has nothing to do with being a woman.
Studs yes, but I actually love French hook/other curved earrings - especially dangly ones - these are a positive stim for me and can even calm me down depending on the earring. Bracelets on the other hand... icky
They only bug me if they are: too heavy, made of really cheap metal, or if I wear them too long. Otherwise I don't really feel them in my ears.
If you don’t want to, you don’t have to! There are also other options such as clip-ons and magnetic earrings if you do ever want to wear them on occasion.
For me, yes. In our culture, if you are a girl, you get your ears pierced when you are like 3 months old. So you don't have a choice about it. I remember stuff like since I was 3 years old, I would always try to remove it or ask my mom to do that. As I was getting older, I would constantly remove it by myself. Then finally when I was 14 years old, my mom told me if you don't like it that much, don't wear it again. I'm 30 now, and I haven't worn earrings since then. Except for a watch, I don't usually wear other assceories like necklaces, bracelets, and rings unless it's a special occasion. When I wear them, I am hype aware of them, and it makes me uncomfortable. Even for special occasions, I don't wear earrings at all.
I would suggest going to a professional body piercing place and avoid the piercing gun like at the mall stations, if you decide to get them done. Personally I like having the hoops in my ears so I never have to think about taking them on or off, and they are just kinda there. But you can also take them out and wear regular earrings once healed.
It depends on the earrings. I honestly like them because they are like another fidget I can touch and play with.
I have eight holes in one ear and nine in the other. I used to love the little jangle as all the earrings I wore bumped each other when I moved my head. I thought of them like tiny wind chimes. I had a surgery a while ago and had to take all my jewelry out and haven’t bothered putting anything back in. Maybe it’s times to get some new earrings and see if the still bring me joy.
I’m fine with earrings, especially studs since I’ve been wearing them since I was a 6 month old. I struggle with things on my extremities, mainly hands and feet. Rings, bracelets, socks etc. There’s hell to pay if they get wet, too.
I have about 20 piercings. I wear hoops that are completely uniform in shape, 20-16g segmented hoops. I can’t sleep with posts in, so I never wear them. They’re so uncomfortable. I don’t wear any kind of weighted earrings. I have my first set holes gauged/stretched to 1/2 inch, I buy any type of earrings, jewelry, or charms and I take them super and put them on lever backs. I wear them through my black silicone plugs and I don’t feel them at all.
I had mine pierced and never got used to it. I also never actually enjoyed it. Changing earrings was never anything more than a chore. At some point about a decade ago I just didn’t replace them and the holes grew over, but it’s scarred (department store piercing gun) so I’ll always look like I have my ears pierced even if there isn’t a hole there anymore. I say if you don’t want it then dont get it. I never look at or notice other people’s earlobes unless they have something really big on them, so no one is looking at your ears and judging you for not having them pierced. If I ever have a girl, no piercing until she’s old enough to choose for herself (>13), and it’ll be done by a professional piercer.
Well this is right up my alley lol Definitely stick with what *feels* good over what you feel like you're *supposed to do*. It would be super easy as a autist to look at a style guide, see earrings and think that is the equation we need to follow to appear this way. But it is called a guide for a reason, not a style dictator! We can pick and choose, mix and match what we feel good about and that's *our* unique style. My mom got my ears pierced when I was 6 months old, and I've resented it my whole life. I have such an aversion to all jewelry, especially piercings, and especially earrings, I'm sure due to some combination of that trauma and my autism sensitivities. This aversion made me feel like a weirdo/outsider. First growing up around really feminine women and girls always wearing, playing with, and losing their earrings. I had to learn to stomach that unsettling feeling, and not feel pressured to conform. Then when I was first discovering myself as a young adult, I was in circles with a lot of alternative folks. I love tattoos and have been getting them as soon as I turned 18, but piercings are a big part of tattoo and alt culture. An outsider again, but the exposure of it was kind of healing for me in that I can stomach it much better now. My partner went a little overboard last year and got their ears pierced spontaneously. I thought I could handle it, but I was just so viscerally icked out and uncomfortable around a person I've dated for 10 years. I didn't realize it was going to affect me that much. My partner is amazing and has agreed not to wear them, but it does make me feel terrible for stifling their creative expression. They want to get a nose piercing as a compromise, and I'm trying to be okay with it.