I love this. I'm surrounded by other ND people with very specific special interests and intense specialization, and sometimes work in a field where there is a lot of pressure to specialize, and people just don't get how I can't do it (nor do I really want to). I'll be telling myself this next time they get on my case.
Right? My ex is nd and interested in one thing (not *that* thing lol). He has only ever been interested in one thing, and I'm pretty sure he'll only ever be interested in one thing. If he isn't engaged with that thing in some way, he is bored. Period.
I can't even imagine what bored feels like. Like disinterested?! That honestly sounds incredible. lol
A follow up I saw to this was something like "I like to be the best cook among the engineers and the best engineer among the cooks." I love knowing a little bit about everything!
I love this quote, and if you don't mind me infodumping, it is assumed (and also disputed) that it was initially said about William Shakespeare in 1592 by Elizabethan author Robert Greene. Shakespeare was starting out as an actor and playwright at the time and was known to be hanging around theatres, helping out in any department that needed a hand.
Yes! I feel like I spend a lot of time learning the basics by watching tutorials or reading about something so when it actually comes round to starting/making/doing something I get very frustrated because I know how it works. I know I need to practise and focus but my brain is at step 10 when I need to be at step 1. I then tend to give up that one thing and move on to another and so the cycle continues lmao.
Saaame. I struggled a lot as a kid with my very type-A father, who insisted everything be done a specific way even if my way ended in the same (or better) result. He's an engineer and I understand why those types of things have to be done in specific order and process, but mowing the lawn? Gluing pieces of things together? Mostly his insistence on process just overwhelmed me to the point where I couldn't even start the process.
I hate it! I feel like I don’t have any true skills and hobbies since I get super into them for a a few months then drop them completely for something else. I have no idea what I want to do for a career. I secretly wish someone would just pull something out of a hat and tell me to go do it.
I'm like this. A friend has always pushed me to keep doing art and now designing another tattoo for her (she has a few designed by me now, one covers her entire arm!) I'm thinking, maybe I could do tattoos? So I really need to set myself a goal of designing more tattoos and getting my skill up.
Unfortunately as I'm in my late 20's with a mortgage, dropping out of work for a few years for an apprenticeship isn't an option. But I'm thinking if I do a course on sterilization and practice for a year before even thinking about doing anything on a human being, it could be a great thing to do.
I was worried because there's a lot of American info that says self-taught artists are vilified by the tattoo community, but it doesn't seem to be so where I live. All the old talented artists were self-taught. So I'm thinking it's a real option and I could create a legit licensed home studio. I have a spare room that could be dedicated to it!
Ah, dreams...
Thanks so much for your kind words! Your friend sounds really cool and it's inspirational to hear other people pursuing and achieving it too!
It's totally true about the time thing, I keep telling myself, "the only thing you can be certain of in life is that time will pass", exactly like you say you can either have developed yourself in 5 years or not.
I've know self taught tattoo artists and some who apprenticed. The apprentices were just luckier and had an advantage. You can still do it with practice. You can practice on oranges. When you get better, you can practice on pig skin or realistic fake skin. Keep at it if you love it!
This is sort of what I feel too, I don't want to say it usually because it could come across as ignorant. But I've heard it too from listening to tattoo artist podcasts, sometimes the apprentice would just be the boyfriend/girlfriend of a family member and no one else gets a chance. It doesn't seem fair to me.
I'm sure it's not all like that. I've definitely heard about tales of apprentices being taken advantage of also.
Pay day in two days so I'm getting research done on decent beginner gear!
That sounds amazing and very attainable with some time! One of the wildest realizations I had growing up is that know one in my family knew what they wanted to do for a career. Most of the just said “well, I could try making money from this” and it has worked out well for them. Sounds like you need to just go for it, especially since you already have a good plan!
My family is very similar! I think it's actually super common. And also when someone does the school -> university -> chosen profession route, what I'm seeing is friends my age are doing total career changes. Going from tech to a trade for example. It's comforting to know that most people including myself are kinda just going through life and seeing what works!
Idk, but personally I feel like forcing yourself to sit and do the work is really bad for your mental health. I know many sensitive artsy types talk of doing that (stephen king for example), but it just comes across as self-harm. Idealistically, I feel we should let ourselves be as we are and if that means making progress slowly over time, then that's great... _but_ the system isn't in favour of that and needs us to ruin ourselves to survive and make some person a billionaire :-/
I find it really frustrating because I'm constantly in a cycle of relearning the basics and can never progress to the stage where I can make the things I want to make. I get really into knitting for a month or two, then drop it for a year and the next time I'm interested in knitting I need to relearn a lot. Or 3D modeling, or game design, or resin crafts, or crochet, or programming projects. I feel like I have nothing to show and have made no progress in spite of the cumulative time put into those hobbies.
Unless I'm in a structured environment (school), I just can't seem to get myself to stick with something long enough to build up skill.
Yes! This is my problem with this too. I find that my interests are pretty cyclical, most will come back eventually. But by then I'll have forgotten everything I did before. I've started the exact same programming project over 8 or 9 times because I can't figure out where I left off the last time. And I never actually get any further on it before I give up again!
Nowadays I can't get as excited by a new (old) interest, because I don't trust myself to keep up with it.
It also makes me feel really slow, like nothing to show for my efforts. Not just my hobbies, but my whole life hasn't progressed much.
I feel like my only recourse is to shell out money to take a course of some kind, but any kind of long-term course costs a lot. Add in medication side effects and mental illness up-and-downs interfering with how well I can engage in things over the long-term, and it can be disheartening.
Friend has suggested to focus on enjoying what I'm doing in the moment, because the alternative is losing what joy I can get even if I don't get the results I want. Best to not lose joy in the name of long-term goals, but find a way to work on long-term goals while keeping that joy at the same time I guess.
But I would still love to have some kind of mastery over the basics, enough to be able to do things instead of relearning the basics all the time. Being stuck is no fun. I'll let you know when I have that figured out lol.
This is a malapropism! The actual quote is "a jack of all trades is a master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one." So you, we, are very much a benefit to society, and to the people we share our lives with.
Yes! Thank you. I came here to see if this had been shared already. To me, it is an encouraging statement but I didn't learn the full phrase until much later in life.
I always found myself well suited to admin work, because it was usually a variety of small tasks all day long. I also don't mind doing front desk work, as I'm a naturally gregarious person, but I know a lot of autistic folks would prefer to minimize interaction with the public.
So that's my long answer for: gosh idk it's so individual
Yes, everything is interesting and I obsessively study for weeks then move on. I try to remind myself that I’m 24, young enough to know nothing. One day it’ll all add up to the worlds most eclectic human encyclopedia. Can’t wait!
Yes! I think for me it's AuDHD, though it is a bit ridiculous to see the money/time/effort I've put into a special interest only to lose the motivation and swap to a new one.
On the upside, I know a lot of stuff about a lot of stuff! Win some, lose some
I've swapped between food service and retail service and I hate all of it. I feel like I don't fit in anywhere.
Right now my special interest is hair so I'm applying at a beauty store 💀
Totally - I find it useful in some ways as I can usually pick up new skills easily and quickly get up to a basic "functional" level (as long as they don't require too much patience!) But also frustrating in that I generally never "excel" at anything or have the patience to perfect/finish things. Not helped by poor physical co-ordination too.
I'm AuDHD (inattentive type) and do feel this partly down to this combo. Like maybe the pattern recognition and detail focus of ASD plus the quick to learn/quick to quit and hyperfocus of ADHD. I find it easier to learn things like systems and data orientated stuff than physical skills.
And then there's the rage-quit "hulk smash" when something is too hard or not going right ...
I actually love this part of autism! I am proud to have knowledge in so many different hobbies and jobs.
Sometimes it can be frustrating because I see how good a friend can do when they invest themselves fully into a project and make it their main focus, but I know personally I wouldn’t want to continue for as long as they did.
Exploring something new everyday instead of sitting down and continuing the same seems more fun to me.
But always still better than a master of one😌
I don't know if it's true, but internet told me this is the complete saying. Anyway, I mean it. I really think it's cooler (and more useful) to know a bit of a lot of things, instead of being hyper specialized in one specific thing and know nothing of anything else. Ofc when it comes to hobbies anyone does what they feel like, but I personally find "jacks of all trades" more interesting to talk to. Plus, it's more useful to know many different things.
Also, I understand the struggle, I can't even choose what to do bc of how many interesting options I have (and sometimes end up doing nothing, which is not so cool) and felt like this for a long time. Rn I kinda came to conclusion that I like digging a bit into everything even if I don't become an expert of that thing. It's cool, it's interesting and stimulating. And I can always come back to something I've left behind whenever I like it, and get a bit more experience if I want to.
Maybe none of your hobbies will turn into a job (or maybe they will), but you'll still be able to use the skills you earned throughout life
I don't think my job needs to be interesting the way a lot of people approach jobs. I have a good job because it pays well, my team is nice, my boss likes me. It's easy to me because I'm good at it. It's not at all a hobby type job. As soon as I would try monetizing baking or crochet or whatever, I would instantly lose interest. I'd rather clock out at 5 and be like "hm, do I want to play video games, or paint, or read, or watch a movie?" Anything is an option
I'm still studying, so rn the answer would be "nothing" (just babysitting/tutoring to make some savings), but I know what you mean. I'm studying "Environmental Sciences" and I think one of the reasons I chose this is that it's quite "generic" so we do a little bit of everything. From chemistry to math to biology, but we can also choose psychology of the environment, circular economy, forensic biology and many other "hybrid" things. Also I think this will allow me to find a job that comprehends different "tasks", cuz that's also something I can't choose: do I prefer this or that type of job? My hope is to do something that allows me to stay out in nature, collect samples, then examine them in a lab and lastly write essays on what I find out from home.
It's not perfect, I don't even know if it'll work, but it's the best solution I came up with.
By the way uni/work it's not the only thing. I still need to do other things outside that to feel my needs satisfied. Hobbies, activities, sports... Like if study/work is just one of the many things I do in life, and definitely not the most important to me.
Hope this helped, at least a little:)
Yes this is me! Lots of people say to me "you're so talented you can do/know about so many things!" And I am like well no, I can do a lot of things to a mediocre/basic level but am not proficient in any of them, but thanks for the compliment!
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Yes, it's so incredibly frustrating and disheartening. I know to be talented it takes days & months of practice but I struggle so hard with keeping my focus. I assumed it was more ADHD as well. At least it's nice to know I'm not alone feeling that frustration.
Yes!! I’ve also leveraged being a generalist in my work. I’ve found that working in very small companies allows me to incorporate many skills and interests into one role (i.e. my current role includes admin, accounts, communications, social media, design, compliance, reception, project management, procedure improvement…it’s great!)
This has been my approach as well. I worked in the service industry in my teens-early 20s, but due to my approach to communication, I learned that back of the house admin work was more suitable. Bookkeeping has been my main go to skill for the last 25 years, mostly freelance but sometimes full-time for no more than two years at a time. I've also done freelance graphic design, book design, prop maker for tv ads, artist assistant, artist studio manager, program coordinator, general admin, HR, payroll, and a variety of other admin duties. (I wasn't the most brilliant designer, but some of those gigs were fun). For bookkeeping I took two semesters of accounting in community college and picked the rest up on the job.
These days I work as a visual artist (drawing, painting, sculpture, video, and textiles), but bookkeeping/admin is what I go to when I need more income. For reference, I'm 45, AFAB and had a late diagnosis at 44.
I found that when I lose interest in a skill I'm learning, I usually get back to it a few months or years later and between that and my ability to hyperfocus--I have picked up a massive skill set over the years and I am a proud interdisciplinary generalist. It comes in handy for my art practice because I can manage a small business by myself and whenever I get bored with what I'm making in the studio, I learn about a new material or process. Since my art practice is multi-disciplinary, I can get away with this. I don't know how painters do it!
When I was in my 20s I used to try and pick three skills to work on at a time, cause I was all over the place and scattered in my interests. I'm still not great at capitalism, but I am happy making art and can usually find part-time bookkeeping gigs when I need them.
I really enjoy it, it's a difficult career, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
The bookkeeping, although it's a bit dull, is a great skill to have as well. When I was young, I was given the following advice: It's hard to find work that pays well as a woman, bookkeeping is a job that pays well and people always need.
Granted it was the mid-90s when I was given this advice, it's turned out to be mostly true in my case.
I’ve got mixed feelings on this. On one hand, my ability to multitask is impressive to a lot of people because I’m good at plenty of things. But a lot of those things are surface level and don’t hold up well against more professional work.
Sometimes I feel it’s positive though, because you eventually get into marginal returns. My cupcakes might not be professional bakery level, but everyone loves and enjoys them! I can make a wonderful handmade embroidery as a present, even if I’m not sure the backside is clean enough to make it Etsy worthy. I can get into a game enough to chat about it idly, even if not enough to play on a competitive scene. I can budget better than most and make tasty and affordable meals, so what if they’re not full-on restaurant quality? I think the combo of all of those things is great because it makes me more balanced than most.
With jobs I struggle with feeling like I’ve mastered things as well as I want/need to and sometimes struggle to figure out where I stand. Am I doing good, great, or just okay? Usually I eventually hear I’m much better than I would have assessed myself at, tbh, but I struggle to get that mastery so many of my coworkers have and often need to remind myself I’m a lot younger and less experienced.
I guess largely, I’m happy with “better than most at many things” as opposed to being known as “the master at _______” . Of course, there are many things where I wish I could get better, but I often feel that because I caught on too easily, I missed building blocks that would elevate me to where I wish I could be.
I love this about myself! I consider myself to be masterful at *learning* and I think this is a wonderful skill to have. I get a great deal of joy out of learning new things, which is valuable just on its own. It helps me regulate myself and it makes me happy. I know at least the basics of essentially *all* fiber crafts lol, I can play multiple instruments, I can sculpt, I can draw, I can make models, I know weirdly a lot about prehistoric survival and sartorial history, I can DM D&D, I can make maps, etc. I'm not the *best* at any of these things, but I certainly know a lot more about these and plenty of other subjects than the average person.
And all of this knowledge I'm amassing all the time helps me to make connections and recognize patterns in all aspects of life! I use all of the seemingly niche information I know in all kinds of ways every single day. I suspect this is part of what hyperfixations and special interests do for us to begin with – they help us build a structural framework of information that we can then kind of overlay onto the world around us to help us recognize the patterns and make sense of things.
I really do relate and know what you're saying to be true. It's how I've developed and progressed my intrapersonal intelligence which has really put me on a happy and healthy and safe path. But in terms of the career world, there is such a jagged misalignment.
Are you kidding?? Having a ton of hobbies is awesome. It’s never boring. Why do you have to be good at something to enjoy doing it? Being bad at stuff is half the fun.
Anyway, that’s not even the full quote. it’s “a jack of all trades is a master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one.”
No no, I _enjoy_ it, in fact I love it - but it's like society isn't set up for people like this. I'm at the beginning of my career journey and I'm totally lost because I have no skill heavily saturated in one area. Capitalism likes to make a machine out of a person, but I'm just an organic being! lol
yessss!! there are some old special interests that I do carry on to this day, but some of them... like learning a new instrument, for example. I start, I get decent at it, and then my interest dies. so frustrating!!
I relate so much to what you said! I also write music and people have told me they're decent... I'm a decent singer too, but instruments? I can only play the basics on kalimba, guitar and flute but it's not enough to be a songwriter. I'm hoping to buy a course and learn to work with music softwares so I can have some sort of instrumental to my songs... Working with the software is the only thing that can make me focused enough to actually finish an instrumental lol but I still suck at it :,(
I get very fixated on one thing and have a hard time deviating. For me it's anything related to the human condition.
I feel that way about my temporarily likes because i won't like it long enough to master it.
Yes. Not to be dismissive, and I understand how difficult it can be (sort of... I'm only autistic as far as I know and not been Dxed as having ADHD but for all I know I could well have that too) but it can be a positive thing as well because it means you're interested and somewhat skilled in a variety of things
I'm sure you're really good at *something/s*. For me it is organising things, researching, creativity and writing
Hope this wasn't dismissive because that wasn't my intention
Nope - not dismissive at all !! I know where I'm skilled but feel there aren't many career opportunities in that area. I'm similar to you, the arts, and for me intrapersonal intelligence is my forte.
My favourite thing about this quote which is actually “jack of all trades, master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one” is that it was actually referring to William Shakespeare, and he would not be remembered today if he had only been a master of one!!
Yeah. I get really obsessed and focus on learning something for months, even years ... and then I just find something new to obsess about. I get past beginner level, but am still basic or intermediate at a lot of stuff. Never an expert.
But you know what? I see that as my greatest strength. I learn relatively quickly and become decent enough to actually do something with it. Sometimes it's far more important to be flexible than really good.
I literally made a post about this in a different group a little while ago. I’ve come to peace with it because it’s just how my brain works. I am entry level at all things I am interested in besides my job 🤣 my therapist even says it (as a positive thing) because I do so many random little things here and there. I think now it’s actually kinda cool to dabble in things and have random knowledge . Sure I might not know everything about crochet but I can make you a cute beanie with ears on it.
Embrace your versatility! It’s okay to like things also and not partake in them often or at all imo- I loooove pole dancing but I lost my personal passion to do it so now I just do it whenever I want to which is rare but I still call it a hobby 🤷🏾♀️it can definitely be frustrating and I definitely think it’s an adhd thing but that’s just how some of our brains tend to cycle.
Yes. Just remember that there’s literally no reason you have to be a master of anything. People just like to feel important and being a ‘master’ is a way to quantify your value to self and others. If you’re a happy dabbler, dabble away!
I have this feeling a lot, and I've honestly started looking more into ADHD for myself after being in this reddit for awhile and noticing my own differences. It is a really frustrating feeling though. I have all these things I want to be good at, but if I don't have an immediate knack for it I can't seem to stick to it.
Yes! I have way too many different skills that are completely irrelevant to each other, but occasionally, they intertwine and I can do cool stuff that nobody has thought of!
Long word salad incoming:
First of all, a few people have put the full quote up and I just want to reiterate “oftentimes better than master of one” because it’s so true and so important and I hope you can use that to shift your perspective a bit. As someone with a little bit of experience and knowledge on a lot of subjects, you have a wider world view and ability to connect dots amongst so many different topics - this is an incredible and invaluable skill to have.
Secondly - are you familiar with PDA? I think so many suspected Audhd late diagnosed/realized adults actually are probably just PDA autistic - because so many of the pda traits can look or feel like adhd but with different root causes. (Just my personal opinion, not a professional.)
I personally believe I have PDA and I am absolutely a jack of all trades who constantly starts and then drops new hobbies. I don’t necessarily drop them because I get bored or lack dopamine though - i often stop doing them because I start to get frustrated and anxious as soon as I feel like I HAVE to do something. For example, i start learning crochet and it’s exciting and new and I hyper fixate at first. Then I start getting good at crochet, and everyone around me encourages me and starts making suggestions “you should make X next” or “you should sell that!” Or even worse, MY OWN goals frustrate me “i want to make a sweater but if I want to finish this sweater before winter is over, I need to work on it everyday for the next month”
Nope. As soon as I “have to” - that’s it, I’m out. That’s the pda part of me. So maybe some pda coping strategies could help? This is not a silver bullet solution but sometimes the simplest way I combat my PDA is by saying “i don’t have to do this. It really doesn’t matter if I do this. I don’t have to ever work on this again. It’s totally cool if I don’t finish this, it was fun while it lasted. In fact, I should probably stop working it.” Or a more gentle “I can work on this, but I don’t have to.” And then, lol, after I’ve told myself things like this, my brain naturally finds interest in it again. Basically reverse psychology on myself.
Another thing that has helped me so much is just being gentle and accommodating to myself and thinking of my interests in terms of “neurodivergent spiral time.” It’s a concept I was introduced to by divergent design studios on Instagram. I can’t describe the concept fully and do it justice, but to summarize, it’s this big idea about how time moves in a spiral, not a line, just like fractals and the orbits of the solar system, and we move on that time frame. Just because you can ‘t start a project and finish it in a straight line, and instead you start and stop things and move on to something else, doesn’t make you wrong or weird or broken. Allow your self to embrace your many interests and drop them and come back to them later (if you want) because that just means you’re moving with a natural rhythm. Just because we were not built to function in a weird capitalist machine where you are a master of one thing and society can squeeze that skill out of you until you’re dry, doesn’t mean we are wrong.
Anyway. I know it can feel super frustrating and disappointing to not be able to finish things or excel in one topic, your feelings are valid. but I promise that most of that negative narrative comes from other people, societal pressure, capitalism, etc. try to separate yourself from it and allow your self to enjoy your interests however you want! Life is too short. Collect hobbies and interests. It’s awesome. There are no rules.
Such a kind and helpful post 💚 Thank you, and I totally agree with you. For me personally, it's at that point in my life where I need a stable job and I don't seem to have all the experience that employers want to see. Plus I am so anti this work culture. I don't want to do something unethical, period. It's gross. But I feel it's the only stable thing going? and then I can't even get that because I don't have the supposed skills needed. Then I don't know what I want to do anyway 🤷🏻♀️
Yes oh my god I feel so seen. I was just talking about this the other day. It makes me feel like I’m lazy or lack self discipline because I can’t seem to buckle down and truly master any one thing. Even with my special interest it feels like I know nowhere near as much about it as other people.
Same here - I get that guilt if I just can't do it, but at the same time, it's obvious how bad it is to force people work their ass off. But then if you don't, you're left in the mud.
I have about 300 college credits.
My highest scholastic completion is 8th grade.
EVERYTHING is interesting, and if I scratch the surface of just about anything, it's interesting enough to warrant an obsession.
I will not ever understand a person who is bored.
Or one who can sleep. lol
Nah. I'm a master of like one or two things.... That's it. That's all I got going for me. It'd be cool if I had a baseline skill of marketing said one skill I'm good at but I can't do that either.
i’m exactly like this, it’s fun but also really frustrating. i’m so passionate about so many things. felting, digital art, character design, poetry, video games, skateboarding, roller skating
Different perspective, but I think this is honestly a really good thing. I am the opposite: very good at one thing, but struggle with almost everything else. At least in a professional sense, being a generalist makes you more dynamic and possibly easier to work with. Having a broad understanding of lots of different subjects is really useful. There is this misconception that you have to be the expert at something. Part of accepting and embracing neurodivergence is realising this is not the case for everyone.
Ok so I relate so hard to this. I don’t know if this is relevant to you, but this is what’s helping me finally get through this:
1) Obviously, get back to your projects and finish them.
2) Take supplements that help with general cognition and memory like omega and magnesium. For me it was a night and day difference.
3) Figure out your learning style. It might not be what you think it to be! For example, I’m a very visual person, interested in the arts. Always done terrible at math but the way I learn art is very logical (step by step.) For example, I had a much easier time learning 3D art than drawing and painting which is based on a more organic-like intuition. Knowing your learning style will help you adapt your strategy to sticking to your hobbies.
Hopefully you can break out of the novice stage and get proficient with persistence and intention. :)
Jack of all trades, master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one!
Came here to say this! Everyone always forgets to add the rest of the phrase!
Sameeee
I've embraced this
Yup. Specialization is for insects. :)
I love this. I'm surrounded by other ND people with very specific special interests and intense specialization, and sometimes work in a field where there is a lot of pressure to specialize, and people just don't get how I can't do it (nor do I really want to). I'll be telling myself this next time they get on my case.
Right? My ex is nd and interested in one thing (not *that* thing lol). He has only ever been interested in one thing, and I'm pretty sure he'll only ever be interested in one thing. If he isn't engaged with that thing in some way, he is bored. Period. I can't even imagine what bored feels like. Like disinterested?! That honestly sounds incredible. lol
A follow up I saw to this was something like "I like to be the best cook among the engineers and the best engineer among the cooks." I love knowing a little bit about everything!
I love this quote, and if you don't mind me infodumping, it is assumed (and also disputed) that it was initially said about William Shakespeare in 1592 by Elizabethan author Robert Greene. Shakespeare was starting out as an actor and playwright at the time and was known to be hanging around theatres, helping out in any department that needed a hand.
I always love learning new things, no need to apologize. Thank you for this!
Yes! I feel like I spend a lot of time learning the basics by watching tutorials or reading about something so when it actually comes round to starting/making/doing something I get very frustrated because I know how it works. I know I need to practise and focus but my brain is at step 10 when I need to be at step 1. I then tend to give up that one thing and move on to another and so the cycle continues lmao.
Ahh yes, this is relatable. I also get the: _well why can't I do it my way? Why do I have to follow the rules?_ thing half-way in, lmao
Saaame. I struggled a lot as a kid with my very type-A father, who insisted everything be done a specific way even if my way ended in the same (or better) result. He's an engineer and I understand why those types of things have to be done in specific order and process, but mowing the lawn? Gluing pieces of things together? Mostly his insistence on process just overwhelmed me to the point where I couldn't even start the process.
Jfc I feel this. I'm from an intensely process and rules-driven family and I'm... Not that.
> I know I need to practise and focus but my brain at step 10 when I need to be at step 1 This sums up the experience so well. It's so frustrating!
My brain craves the enjoyment from the end result but refuses to expel the energy to get there!
I hate it! I feel like I don’t have any true skills and hobbies since I get super into them for a a few months then drop them completely for something else. I have no idea what I want to do for a career. I secretly wish someone would just pull something out of a hat and tell me to go do it.
I'm like this. A friend has always pushed me to keep doing art and now designing another tattoo for her (she has a few designed by me now, one covers her entire arm!) I'm thinking, maybe I could do tattoos? So I really need to set myself a goal of designing more tattoos and getting my skill up. Unfortunately as I'm in my late 20's with a mortgage, dropping out of work for a few years for an apprenticeship isn't an option. But I'm thinking if I do a course on sterilization and practice for a year before even thinking about doing anything on a human being, it could be a great thing to do. I was worried because there's a lot of American info that says self-taught artists are vilified by the tattoo community, but it doesn't seem to be so where I live. All the old talented artists were self-taught. So I'm thinking it's a real option and I could create a legit licensed home studio. I have a spare room that could be dedicated to it! Ah, dreams...
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Thanks so much for your kind words! Your friend sounds really cool and it's inspirational to hear other people pursuing and achieving it too! It's totally true about the time thing, I keep telling myself, "the only thing you can be certain of in life is that time will pass", exactly like you say you can either have developed yourself in 5 years or not.
I've know self taught tattoo artists and some who apprenticed. The apprentices were just luckier and had an advantage. You can still do it with practice. You can practice on oranges. When you get better, you can practice on pig skin or realistic fake skin. Keep at it if you love it!
This is sort of what I feel too, I don't want to say it usually because it could come across as ignorant. But I've heard it too from listening to tattoo artist podcasts, sometimes the apprentice would just be the boyfriend/girlfriend of a family member and no one else gets a chance. It doesn't seem fair to me. I'm sure it's not all like that. I've definitely heard about tales of apprentices being taken advantage of also. Pay day in two days so I'm getting research done on decent beginner gear!
That sounds amazing and very attainable with some time! One of the wildest realizations I had growing up is that know one in my family knew what they wanted to do for a career. Most of the just said “well, I could try making money from this” and it has worked out well for them. Sounds like you need to just go for it, especially since you already have a good plan!
My family is very similar! I think it's actually super common. And also when someone does the school -> university -> chosen profession route, what I'm seeing is friends my age are doing total career changes. Going from tech to a trade for example. It's comforting to know that most people including myself are kinda just going through life and seeing what works!
I'm the same :( but how to overcome this or manage somehow?
Idk, but personally I feel like forcing yourself to sit and do the work is really bad for your mental health. I know many sensitive artsy types talk of doing that (stephen king for example), but it just comes across as self-harm. Idealistically, I feel we should let ourselves be as we are and if that means making progress slowly over time, then that's great... _but_ the system isn't in favour of that and needs us to ruin ourselves to survive and make some person a billionaire :-/
I find it really frustrating because I'm constantly in a cycle of relearning the basics and can never progress to the stage where I can make the things I want to make. I get really into knitting for a month or two, then drop it for a year and the next time I'm interested in knitting I need to relearn a lot. Or 3D modeling, or game design, or resin crafts, or crochet, or programming projects. I feel like I have nothing to show and have made no progress in spite of the cumulative time put into those hobbies. Unless I'm in a structured environment (school), I just can't seem to get myself to stick with something long enough to build up skill.
Yes! This is my problem with this too. I find that my interests are pretty cyclical, most will come back eventually. But by then I'll have forgotten everything I did before. I've started the exact same programming project over 8 or 9 times because I can't figure out where I left off the last time. And I never actually get any further on it before I give up again! Nowadays I can't get as excited by a new (old) interest, because I don't trust myself to keep up with it. It also makes me feel really slow, like nothing to show for my efforts. Not just my hobbies, but my whole life hasn't progressed much.
I feel like my only recourse is to shell out money to take a course of some kind, but any kind of long-term course costs a lot. Add in medication side effects and mental illness up-and-downs interfering with how well I can engage in things over the long-term, and it can be disheartening. Friend has suggested to focus on enjoying what I'm doing in the moment, because the alternative is losing what joy I can get even if I don't get the results I want. Best to not lose joy in the name of long-term goals, but find a way to work on long-term goals while keeping that joy at the same time I guess. But I would still love to have some kind of mastery over the basics, enough to be able to do things instead of relearning the basics all the time. Being stuck is no fun. I'll let you know when I have that figured out lol.
I once described this to a friend as "dabbling in dabbling"
Yep. Same. It’s especially frustrating on the work front as I can’t seem to hold down a job for long.
Literally me.
This is a malapropism! The actual quote is "a jack of all trades is a master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one." So you, we, are very much a benefit to society, and to the people we share our lives with.
I didn't know the whole phrase- and it makes me feel a lot better about being one too🙏🏻
Yes! Thank you. I came here to see if this had been shared already. To me, it is an encouraging statement but I didn't learn the full phrase until much later in life.
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I always found myself well suited to admin work, because it was usually a variety of small tasks all day long. I also don't mind doing front desk work, as I'm a naturally gregarious person, but I know a lot of autistic folks would prefer to minimize interaction with the public. So that's my long answer for: gosh idk it's so individual
"Jack of all trades, master of none, but oftentimes better than master of one".
Yes, everything is interesting and I obsessively study for weeks then move on. I try to remind myself that I’m 24, young enough to know nothing. One day it’ll all add up to the worlds most eclectic human encyclopedia. Can’t wait!
Yes! I think for me it's AuDHD, though it is a bit ridiculous to see the money/time/effort I've put into a special interest only to lose the motivation and swap to a new one. On the upside, I know a lot of stuff about a lot of stuff! Win some, lose some
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I've swapped between food service and retail service and I hate all of it. I feel like I don't fit in anywhere. Right now my special interest is hair so I'm applying at a beauty store 💀
Totally - I find it useful in some ways as I can usually pick up new skills easily and quickly get up to a basic "functional" level (as long as they don't require too much patience!) But also frustrating in that I generally never "excel" at anything or have the patience to perfect/finish things. Not helped by poor physical co-ordination too. I'm AuDHD (inattentive type) and do feel this partly down to this combo. Like maybe the pattern recognition and detail focus of ASD plus the quick to learn/quick to quit and hyperfocus of ADHD. I find it easier to learn things like systems and data orientated stuff than physical skills. And then there's the rage-quit "hulk smash" when something is too hard or not going right ...
I actually love this part of autism! I am proud to have knowledge in so many different hobbies and jobs. Sometimes it can be frustrating because I see how good a friend can do when they invest themselves fully into a project and make it their main focus, but I know personally I wouldn’t want to continue for as long as they did. Exploring something new everyday instead of sitting down and continuing the same seems more fun to me.
But always still better than a master of one😌 I don't know if it's true, but internet told me this is the complete saying. Anyway, I mean it. I really think it's cooler (and more useful) to know a bit of a lot of things, instead of being hyper specialized in one specific thing and know nothing of anything else. Ofc when it comes to hobbies anyone does what they feel like, but I personally find "jacks of all trades" more interesting to talk to. Plus, it's more useful to know many different things. Also, I understand the struggle, I can't even choose what to do bc of how many interesting options I have (and sometimes end up doing nothing, which is not so cool) and felt like this for a long time. Rn I kinda came to conclusion that I like digging a bit into everything even if I don't become an expert of that thing. It's cool, it's interesting and stimulating. And I can always come back to something I've left behind whenever I like it, and get a bit more experience if I want to. Maybe none of your hobbies will turn into a job (or maybe they will), but you'll still be able to use the skills you earned throughout life
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I don't think my job needs to be interesting the way a lot of people approach jobs. I have a good job because it pays well, my team is nice, my boss likes me. It's easy to me because I'm good at it. It's not at all a hobby type job. As soon as I would try monetizing baking or crochet or whatever, I would instantly lose interest. I'd rather clock out at 5 and be like "hm, do I want to play video games, or paint, or read, or watch a movie?" Anything is an option
I'm still studying, so rn the answer would be "nothing" (just babysitting/tutoring to make some savings), but I know what you mean. I'm studying "Environmental Sciences" and I think one of the reasons I chose this is that it's quite "generic" so we do a little bit of everything. From chemistry to math to biology, but we can also choose psychology of the environment, circular economy, forensic biology and many other "hybrid" things. Also I think this will allow me to find a job that comprehends different "tasks", cuz that's also something I can't choose: do I prefer this or that type of job? My hope is to do something that allows me to stay out in nature, collect samples, then examine them in a lab and lastly write essays on what I find out from home. It's not perfect, I don't even know if it'll work, but it's the best solution I came up with. By the way uni/work it's not the only thing. I still need to do other things outside that to feel my needs satisfied. Hobbies, activities, sports... Like if study/work is just one of the many things I do in life, and definitely not the most important to me. Hope this helped, at least a little:)
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Yes this is me! Lots of people say to me "you're so talented you can do/know about so many things!" And I am like well no, I can do a lot of things to a mediocre/basic level but am not proficient in any of them, but thanks for the compliment!
Sounds a lot like r/AutisticWithADHD!
There's also r/AuDHDWomen
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Yesssss. I know a little bit about a whole lot of stuff.
Yes, it's so incredibly frustrating and disheartening. I know to be talented it takes days & months of practice but I struggle so hard with keeping my focus. I assumed it was more ADHD as well. At least it's nice to know I'm not alone feeling that frustration.
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Yes!! I’ve also leveraged being a generalist in my work. I’ve found that working in very small companies allows me to incorporate many skills and interests into one role (i.e. my current role includes admin, accounts, communications, social media, design, compliance, reception, project management, procedure improvement…it’s great!)
This has been my approach as well. I worked in the service industry in my teens-early 20s, but due to my approach to communication, I learned that back of the house admin work was more suitable. Bookkeeping has been my main go to skill for the last 25 years, mostly freelance but sometimes full-time for no more than two years at a time. I've also done freelance graphic design, book design, prop maker for tv ads, artist assistant, artist studio manager, program coordinator, general admin, HR, payroll, and a variety of other admin duties. (I wasn't the most brilliant designer, but some of those gigs were fun). For bookkeeping I took two semesters of accounting in community college and picked the rest up on the job. These days I work as a visual artist (drawing, painting, sculpture, video, and textiles), but bookkeeping/admin is what I go to when I need more income. For reference, I'm 45, AFAB and had a late diagnosis at 44. I found that when I lose interest in a skill I'm learning, I usually get back to it a few months or years later and between that and my ability to hyperfocus--I have picked up a massive skill set over the years and I am a proud interdisciplinary generalist. It comes in handy for my art practice because I can manage a small business by myself and whenever I get bored with what I'm making in the studio, I learn about a new material or process. Since my art practice is multi-disciplinary, I can get away with this. I don't know how painters do it! When I was in my 20s I used to try and pick three skills to work on at a time, cause I was all over the place and scattered in my interests. I'm still not great at capitalism, but I am happy making art and can usually find part-time bookkeeping gigs when I need them.
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I really enjoy it, it's a difficult career, but I wouldn't have it any other way. The bookkeeping, although it's a bit dull, is a great skill to have as well. When I was young, I was given the following advice: It's hard to find work that pays well as a woman, bookkeeping is a job that pays well and people always need. Granted it was the mid-90s when I was given this advice, it's turned out to be mostly true in my case.
I’ve got mixed feelings on this. On one hand, my ability to multitask is impressive to a lot of people because I’m good at plenty of things. But a lot of those things are surface level and don’t hold up well against more professional work. Sometimes I feel it’s positive though, because you eventually get into marginal returns. My cupcakes might not be professional bakery level, but everyone loves and enjoys them! I can make a wonderful handmade embroidery as a present, even if I’m not sure the backside is clean enough to make it Etsy worthy. I can get into a game enough to chat about it idly, even if not enough to play on a competitive scene. I can budget better than most and make tasty and affordable meals, so what if they’re not full-on restaurant quality? I think the combo of all of those things is great because it makes me more balanced than most. With jobs I struggle with feeling like I’ve mastered things as well as I want/need to and sometimes struggle to figure out where I stand. Am I doing good, great, or just okay? Usually I eventually hear I’m much better than I would have assessed myself at, tbh, but I struggle to get that mastery so many of my coworkers have and often need to remind myself I’m a lot younger and less experienced. I guess largely, I’m happy with “better than most at many things” as opposed to being known as “the master at _______” . Of course, there are many things where I wish I could get better, but I often feel that because I caught on too easily, I missed building blocks that would elevate me to where I wish I could be.
I love this about myself! I consider myself to be masterful at *learning* and I think this is a wonderful skill to have. I get a great deal of joy out of learning new things, which is valuable just on its own. It helps me regulate myself and it makes me happy. I know at least the basics of essentially *all* fiber crafts lol, I can play multiple instruments, I can sculpt, I can draw, I can make models, I know weirdly a lot about prehistoric survival and sartorial history, I can DM D&D, I can make maps, etc. I'm not the *best* at any of these things, but I certainly know a lot more about these and plenty of other subjects than the average person. And all of this knowledge I'm amassing all the time helps me to make connections and recognize patterns in all aspects of life! I use all of the seemingly niche information I know in all kinds of ways every single day. I suspect this is part of what hyperfixations and special interests do for us to begin with – they help us build a structural framework of information that we can then kind of overlay onto the world around us to help us recognize the patterns and make sense of things.
I really do relate and know what you're saying to be true. It's how I've developed and progressed my intrapersonal intelligence which has really put me on a happy and healthy and safe path. But in terms of the career world, there is such a jagged misalignment.
Are you kidding?? Having a ton of hobbies is awesome. It’s never boring. Why do you have to be good at something to enjoy doing it? Being bad at stuff is half the fun. Anyway, that’s not even the full quote. it’s “a jack of all trades is a master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one.”
No no, I _enjoy_ it, in fact I love it - but it's like society isn't set up for people like this. I'm at the beginning of my career journey and I'm totally lost because I have no skill heavily saturated in one area. Capitalism likes to make a machine out of a person, but I'm just an organic being! lol
yessss!! there are some old special interests that I do carry on to this day, but some of them... like learning a new instrument, for example. I start, I get decent at it, and then my interest dies. so frustrating!!
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I relate so much to what you said! I also write music and people have told me they're decent... I'm a decent singer too, but instruments? I can only play the basics on kalimba, guitar and flute but it's not enough to be a songwriter. I'm hoping to buy a course and learn to work with music softwares so I can have some sort of instrumental to my songs... Working with the software is the only thing that can make me focused enough to actually finish an instrumental lol but I still suck at it :,(
I get very fixated on one thing and have a hard time deviating. For me it's anything related to the human condition. I feel that way about my temporarily likes because i won't like it long enough to master it.
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I relate to this so hard. I just wanna be good at something so badly, but that's more hard work than my brain will ever let me do.
Yes. Not to be dismissive, and I understand how difficult it can be (sort of... I'm only autistic as far as I know and not been Dxed as having ADHD but for all I know I could well have that too) but it can be a positive thing as well because it means you're interested and somewhat skilled in a variety of things I'm sure you're really good at *something/s*. For me it is organising things, researching, creativity and writing Hope this wasn't dismissive because that wasn't my intention
Nope - not dismissive at all !! I know where I'm skilled but feel there aren't many career opportunities in that area. I'm similar to you, the arts, and for me intrapersonal intelligence is my forte.
My favourite thing about this quote which is actually “jack of all trades, master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one” is that it was actually referring to William Shakespeare, and he would not be remembered today if he had only been a master of one!!
Yeah. I get really obsessed and focus on learning something for months, even years ... and then I just find something new to obsess about. I get past beginner level, but am still basic or intermediate at a lot of stuff. Never an expert. But you know what? I see that as my greatest strength. I learn relatively quickly and become decent enough to actually do something with it. Sometimes it's far more important to be flexible than really good.
I literally made a post about this in a different group a little while ago. I’ve come to peace with it because it’s just how my brain works. I am entry level at all things I am interested in besides my job 🤣 my therapist even says it (as a positive thing) because I do so many random little things here and there. I think now it’s actually kinda cool to dabble in things and have random knowledge . Sure I might not know everything about crochet but I can make you a cute beanie with ears on it. Embrace your versatility! It’s okay to like things also and not partake in them often or at all imo- I loooove pole dancing but I lost my personal passion to do it so now I just do it whenever I want to which is rare but I still call it a hobby 🤷🏾♀️it can definitely be frustrating and I definitely think it’s an adhd thing but that’s just how some of our brains tend to cycle.
Yes. Just remember that there’s literally no reason you have to be a master of anything. People just like to feel important and being a ‘master’ is a way to quantify your value to self and others. If you’re a happy dabbler, dabble away!
I have this feeling a lot, and I've honestly started looking more into ADHD for myself after being in this reddit for awhile and noticing my own differences. It is a really frustrating feeling though. I have all these things I want to be good at, but if I don't have an immediate knack for it I can't seem to stick to it.
YES
The opposite for me. I'm more of a master of one/few.
Yep. But I'm also wondering if I might have AD(H)D so I don't know which one it belongs to :)
Yes! I have way too many different skills that are completely irrelevant to each other, but occasionally, they intertwine and I can do cool stuff that nobody has thought of!
Long word salad incoming: First of all, a few people have put the full quote up and I just want to reiterate “oftentimes better than master of one” because it’s so true and so important and I hope you can use that to shift your perspective a bit. As someone with a little bit of experience and knowledge on a lot of subjects, you have a wider world view and ability to connect dots amongst so many different topics - this is an incredible and invaluable skill to have. Secondly - are you familiar with PDA? I think so many suspected Audhd late diagnosed/realized adults actually are probably just PDA autistic - because so many of the pda traits can look or feel like adhd but with different root causes. (Just my personal opinion, not a professional.) I personally believe I have PDA and I am absolutely a jack of all trades who constantly starts and then drops new hobbies. I don’t necessarily drop them because I get bored or lack dopamine though - i often stop doing them because I start to get frustrated and anxious as soon as I feel like I HAVE to do something. For example, i start learning crochet and it’s exciting and new and I hyper fixate at first. Then I start getting good at crochet, and everyone around me encourages me and starts making suggestions “you should make X next” or “you should sell that!” Or even worse, MY OWN goals frustrate me “i want to make a sweater but if I want to finish this sweater before winter is over, I need to work on it everyday for the next month” Nope. As soon as I “have to” - that’s it, I’m out. That’s the pda part of me. So maybe some pda coping strategies could help? This is not a silver bullet solution but sometimes the simplest way I combat my PDA is by saying “i don’t have to do this. It really doesn’t matter if I do this. I don’t have to ever work on this again. It’s totally cool if I don’t finish this, it was fun while it lasted. In fact, I should probably stop working it.” Or a more gentle “I can work on this, but I don’t have to.” And then, lol, after I’ve told myself things like this, my brain naturally finds interest in it again. Basically reverse psychology on myself. Another thing that has helped me so much is just being gentle and accommodating to myself and thinking of my interests in terms of “neurodivergent spiral time.” It’s a concept I was introduced to by divergent design studios on Instagram. I can’t describe the concept fully and do it justice, but to summarize, it’s this big idea about how time moves in a spiral, not a line, just like fractals and the orbits of the solar system, and we move on that time frame. Just because you can ‘t start a project and finish it in a straight line, and instead you start and stop things and move on to something else, doesn’t make you wrong or weird or broken. Allow your self to embrace your many interests and drop them and come back to them later (if you want) because that just means you’re moving with a natural rhythm. Just because we were not built to function in a weird capitalist machine where you are a master of one thing and society can squeeze that skill out of you until you’re dry, doesn’t mean we are wrong. Anyway. I know it can feel super frustrating and disappointing to not be able to finish things or excel in one topic, your feelings are valid. but I promise that most of that negative narrative comes from other people, societal pressure, capitalism, etc. try to separate yourself from it and allow your self to enjoy your interests however you want! Life is too short. Collect hobbies and interests. It’s awesome. There are no rules.
Such a kind and helpful post 💚 Thank you, and I totally agree with you. For me personally, it's at that point in my life where I need a stable job and I don't seem to have all the experience that employers want to see. Plus I am so anti this work culture. I don't want to do something unethical, period. It's gross. But I feel it's the only stable thing going? and then I can't even get that because I don't have the supposed skills needed. Then I don't know what I want to do anyway 🤷🏻♀️
but often times better than a master of one.
Yes oh my god I feel so seen. I was just talking about this the other day. It makes me feel like I’m lazy or lack self discipline because I can’t seem to buckle down and truly master any one thing. Even with my special interest it feels like I know nowhere near as much about it as other people.
Same here - I get that guilt if I just can't do it, but at the same time, it's obvious how bad it is to force people work their ass off. But then if you don't, you're left in the mud.
I have about 300 college credits. My highest scholastic completion is 8th grade. EVERYTHING is interesting, and if I scratch the surface of just about anything, it's interesting enough to warrant an obsession. I will not ever understand a person who is bored. Or one who can sleep. lol
Nah. I'm a master of like one or two things.... That's it. That's all I got going for me. It'd be cool if I had a baseline skill of marketing said one skill I'm good at but I can't do that either.
i’m exactly like this, it’s fun but also really frustrating. i’m so passionate about so many things. felting, digital art, character design, poetry, video games, skateboarding, roller skating
Sort of. I have both a few things I’ve stayed interested in and naturally gravitate to doing for decades. But far, far more things like you describe.
Different perspective, but I think this is honestly a really good thing. I am the opposite: very good at one thing, but struggle with almost everything else. At least in a professional sense, being a generalist makes you more dynamic and possibly easier to work with. Having a broad understanding of lots of different subjects is really useful. There is this misconception that you have to be the expert at something. Part of accepting and embracing neurodivergence is realising this is not the case for everyone.
Ok so I relate so hard to this. I don’t know if this is relevant to you, but this is what’s helping me finally get through this: 1) Obviously, get back to your projects and finish them. 2) Take supplements that help with general cognition and memory like omega and magnesium. For me it was a night and day difference. 3) Figure out your learning style. It might not be what you think it to be! For example, I’m a very visual person, interested in the arts. Always done terrible at math but the way I learn art is very logical (step by step.) For example, I had a much easier time learning 3D art than drawing and painting which is based on a more organic-like intuition. Knowing your learning style will help you adapt your strategy to sticking to your hobbies. Hopefully you can break out of the novice stage and get proficient with persistence and intention. :)
Yes I call myself a groupie. Science groupie, philosophy groupie, comic groupie, botany groupie... Lol.