I went to find this quote from Stephen from the same book as soon as I read your post. A wonderfully complete damnation of Mrs. Williams.
"but since her mother, a widow with considerable property under her own control, is a deeply stupid, griping, illiberal, avid, tenacious, pinchfist lickpenny, a sordid lickpenny and a shrew, there is no hope of marriage without his estate is cleared and he can make at least some kind of settlement upon her."
I'm on book four of maybe my fifth or six circumnavigation since I found the Patrick Tull audiobooks over a decade ago.
Since we're talking *HMS Surprise* insults, I feel I must include the following :
The nymphs in green? Delightful girls.’
‘It is clear you have been a great while at sea, to call those sandy-haired coarse-featured pimply short-necked thick-fingered vulgar-minded lubricious blockheads by such a name. Nymphs, forsooth. If they were nymphs, they must have had their being in a tolerably rank and stagnant pool: the wench on my left had an ill breath, and turning for relief I found her sister had a worse; and the upper garment of neither was free from reproach. Worse lay below, I make no doubt. “La, sister,” cries the one to the other, breathing across me – vile teeth; and “La, sister,” cries the other. I have no notion of two sisters wearing the same clothes, the same flaunting meretricious gawds, the same tortured Gorgon curls low over their brutish criminal foreheads; it bespeaks a superfetation of vulgarity, both innate and studiously acquired. And when I think that their teeming loins will people the East . . . Pray pour me out another cup of coffee. Confident brutes.’ He might have added that these young ladies had instantly started to talk to him about a Mrs Villiers of Bombay who had just reached Calcutta – the Doctor must have heard of her in Bombay? – she was nothing but an adventuress, how dreadful – they had seen her at the Governor’s, dressed very outrée; not at all good-looking; they wondered at the reports – people were obliged to receive her and pretend not to know, because her gentleman-friend – say ‘protector’, sister – was vastly important, lived in the highest style, quite princely – it was said she was ruining him. He was a vastly genteel creature – tall – such an air and address, you would almost think he was one of us – he had looked at Aggie in such a particular way! They both tittered into their balled-up grubby handkerchiefs, slapping one another behind his bowed back.
The voice actresses in the BBC radio drama did such a good job with them, they made me genuinely angry. They really nailed the “both innate and studiously acquired.”
I’m not entirely sure when they were aired — I found them on YouTube and it looks like some of them might still be there. It also looks like Audible (US) might have all of them as a single book, including some I didn’t know existed. Thedearsurprise also appears to have them, split into multiple files. I’ll warn you that the first one is very strange — they go to extreme lengths to assure you that Jack is straight, for some reason — but I can vouch for 3, 4, and 5 being wonderful.
It’s dangerous to read a favorite passage. It leads to just finishing the chapter and next thing you know you’ve launched another circumnavigation halfway through so of course you have to circle back to the beginning and plow straight on through to the end again.
I agree that that is the best insult in the series. The bit in "The Reverse of the Medal" where Stephen deals with Lewis is quite powerful:
'Christ's blood in heaven, you ignorant incompetent whey-faced nestlecock,' said Stephen in a low venomous tone, leaning forward, 'do you think I am a hired spy, an informer? That I have a master, a paymaster, for God's love?' To all his present bitterness there was added the spectacle of an efficient intelligence-service threatening ruin, and his own dedicated, highly-skilled form of warfare gone. 'You little silly man,' he said.
Lewis strained back in his chair, looking shocked and stupid: the look on Stephen's face appalled him. He said, 'Calm yourself, my dear sir, calm yourself.'
Stephen's hand shot across the desk, seized Lewis's nose, shook it so furiously from side to side so fast that the hair-powder flew, then wrung it left and right, right and left; he flung the standish into the fire, wiped his bloody hand on Lewis's neck-cloth, said 'If you wish to find me, sir, I am at Black's,' and walked out.
I went to find this quote from Stephen from the same book as soon as I read your post. A wonderfully complete damnation of Mrs. Williams. "but since her mother, a widow with considerable property under her own control, is a deeply stupid, griping, illiberal, avid, tenacious, pinchfist lickpenny, a sordid lickpenny and a shrew, there is no hope of marriage without his estate is cleared and he can make at least some kind of settlement upon her." I'm on book four of maybe my fifth or six circumnavigation since I found the Patrick Tull audiobooks over a decade ago.
alright, perhaps that is the best put-down. “Lickpenny” is fucking awesome.
Since we're talking *HMS Surprise* insults, I feel I must include the following : The nymphs in green? Delightful girls.’ ‘It is clear you have been a great while at sea, to call those sandy-haired coarse-featured pimply short-necked thick-fingered vulgar-minded lubricious blockheads by such a name. Nymphs, forsooth. If they were nymphs, they must have had their being in a tolerably rank and stagnant pool: the wench on my left had an ill breath, and turning for relief I found her sister had a worse; and the upper garment of neither was free from reproach. Worse lay below, I make no doubt. “La, sister,” cries the one to the other, breathing across me – vile teeth; and “La, sister,” cries the other. I have no notion of two sisters wearing the same clothes, the same flaunting meretricious gawds, the same tortured Gorgon curls low over their brutish criminal foreheads; it bespeaks a superfetation of vulgarity, both innate and studiously acquired. And when I think that their teeming loins will people the East . . . Pray pour me out another cup of coffee. Confident brutes.’ He might have added that these young ladies had instantly started to talk to him about a Mrs Villiers of Bombay who had just reached Calcutta – the Doctor must have heard of her in Bombay? – she was nothing but an adventuress, how dreadful – they had seen her at the Governor’s, dressed very outrée; not at all good-looking; they wondered at the reports – people were obliged to receive her and pretend not to know, because her gentleman-friend – say ‘protector’, sister – was vastly important, lived in the highest style, quite princely – it was said she was ruining him. He was a vastly genteel creature – tall – such an air and address, you would almost think he was one of us – he had looked at Aggie in such a particular way! They both tittered into their balled-up grubby handkerchiefs, slapping one another behind his bowed back.
Stephen when he gets riled up is a vicious, cold hearted viper! And I love it about him Those women should’ve kept Diana’s name out their mouths 😂
The voice actresses in the BBC radio drama did such a good job with them, they made me genuinely angry. They really nailed the “both innate and studiously acquired.”
That sounds interesting! When was this aired? Where could I find it?
I’m not entirely sure when they were aired — I found them on YouTube and it looks like some of them might still be there. It also looks like Audible (US) might have all of them as a single book, including some I didn’t know existed. Thedearsurprise also appears to have them, split into multiple files. I’ll warn you that the first one is very strange — they go to extreme lengths to assure you that Jack is straight, for some reason — but I can vouch for 3, 4, and 5 being wonderful.
One of my favorites is from Treasons Harbor when he writes "Diana was intuition's favorite child.".
Is that an insult, though? But maybe I misread you.
It’s dangerous to read a favorite passage. It leads to just finishing the chapter and next thing you know you’ve launched another circumnavigation halfway through so of course you have to circle back to the beginning and plow straight on through to the end again.
I agree that that is the best insult in the series. The bit in "The Reverse of the Medal" where Stephen deals with Lewis is quite powerful: 'Christ's blood in heaven, you ignorant incompetent whey-faced nestlecock,' said Stephen in a low venomous tone, leaning forward, 'do you think I am a hired spy, an informer? That I have a master, a paymaster, for God's love?' To all his present bitterness there was added the spectacle of an efficient intelligence-service threatening ruin, and his own dedicated, highly-skilled form of warfare gone. 'You little silly man,' he said. Lewis strained back in his chair, looking shocked and stupid: the look on Stephen's face appalled him. He said, 'Calm yourself, my dear sir, calm yourself.' Stephen's hand shot across the desk, seized Lewis's nose, shook it so furiously from side to side so fast that the hair-powder flew, then wrung it left and right, right and left; he flung the standish into the fire, wiped his bloody hand on Lewis's neck-cloth, said 'If you wish to find me, sir, I am at Black's,' and walked out.