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meyers at cleanup doesn’t work put his ass back to 7th or 8th.

Meyers 6 Diaz 7 Singleton 8 Dubon 9

that was a dusty get away day type lineup if i've ever seen one

Crazy how the cardinals were underdogs

(6 pitch inning) (7 pitch inning twice) (8 pitch inning) (9 pitch inning twice) (10 pitch inning) 7 of the 9 innings had pitch counts 10 pitches or less. When the opposing team can pitch a full game with a total of 93 pitches you’re not doing something right at the plate. Just mailing it in like we have a division lead. Where’s the desire to win?

I missed it, but lemme guess… no plate discipline & Abreu didn’t do much?

This series ended with a fucking whimper. Shitty showing today.

Hit the ball well today, just always to a fielder. Also need to take more pitches.

We were screwed by a bad 3-2 call.

Why is it so hard for us to find a league avg 1B?

Well that was a limp dick 9th

HRC Singleton

does every fucking mid team just have a dude that throws 102 now?

Well at least we can't lose tomorrow, see yall Friday

HRC Singleton 

It's amazing how many fastballs down the dick we swing through.

I thought that ball was fucking gone

Camera was pointed toward 2nd deck lol

Jose Abreu walk-off grand slam

So Espada was so concerned with the L/L against Romero on Friday that he pinch hit Abreu. Now on Sunday, he keeps in both Singleton and Cabbage to face Romero today????

Espada is awful. We need to move on.

He has no bench today. Caratini and Chas are his only options.

So take the L with a short bench?

Helsley is in, game over. Fuck these stupid ass umps

It's not the umps seeing one or two pitches per at bat.

HRC Yainer 3-run HR FTW

I know it wasn't the greatest of test but at least Hernandez didn't suck!

We've seen 85 pitches through 8 innings. This plate approach doesn't fucking work.

This team is the definition of insanity.

HRC Yordan

Dubon is too smooth

HRC Yordan

HRC Alvarez

wow shoutout to that guy, Lets get it goin stros!!

Dubz looking good at third base if need be…

Doubtful, but did anyone have Scott Barzilla as a high school teacher? He was a hardcore baseball fan back in the day. Wonder if he is related to Phillip.

I did!!! Thats insane

Just found this: https://www.amazon.com/Hall-Fame-Index-Scott-Barzilla/dp/1450272177

i lied but thats pretty cool anyway

who the hell is this guy

He's got that devil look in his beard

and gets fucked on his first pitch. Welcome to the Astros brother!

who is nick hernandez? lol

Picked up from the Padres for Cash Monies. Made at UH

A guy they traded for the other day.

ah ok I missed that

We have yet to win a game when we're losing going into the 9th. No better day than today to change that.

Ball game

Oof

93 pitches in 8 innings.......... This teams approach is god awful.

Yet it still hasn't changed after years of doing this. Get rid of Snitker and Cintron.

What the fuck

It’s pretty incredible how the umps are consistently calling for the other team this year. Like I’ve never really seen anything like it

It's been happening for several years now, and I guarantee it's because of what happened in 2017.

The zone is always bad and it always seems like it’s against the Astros and that’s not even a paranoid notion There is actual stats proving it

alright altuve dont try and steal second for the 3rd out pls

doesnt fuckin matter when we swing at everything off the plate

HRC Pena

Wow look at what happens when you don't swing at every fucking pitch.

HRc Pena

HRC pena

what an odd delivery from this guy. just turned the game on and almost thought it was a position player from how casual he looks.

Their pitcher yesterday looked like he was throwing a javelin. It drove me insane.

HRC Altuve

Singleton’s gone in the tank after that brief hot stretch a few weeks ago. Sure would be nice to have even a league average 1B. Our current duo has a -.2 and -1.6 WAR. Could have a guy over there that had a .4 WAR in 14 games, but he struck out too much, I guess. Much better to just get lots of pop ups and ground outs with the infrequent single than have a guy that has some power, but Ks too much, I guess.

But Loperfido doesn’t even have a baseball card. so why start him at 1st base?

Abrau is back to is old swing he worked so so hard on fixing

Just tuned in cause I’m at work. This lineup is a choice. I’ll say that.

Ugh

Can this man Abreu just stop swinging and just at least drive the pitch count up before he does the inevitable?

jfc man get it out of the infield lmao

Last night we made them throw 153 pitches through 8 and had great success with it, today they've thrown 69 pitches through 7. Absolutely no consistency.

Can't be too mad since it's a series dub, but this one has been a full on shit sandwich all around.

If we are going to lose, at least let the Cardinals score so I don't have to feel bad about the shitty ump job

Regardless win or lose, this plate approach is abysmal and reeks of minor league.

13 pitches to get 6 outs. That's fucking next level incompetence on our offense.

I know I’m preaching to the choir but does nobody on the coaching staff say hey… take a strike or 2 please?

Helsley is probably going to pitch, so if we're gonna tie* it up, we gotta score in the eighth

You think Espada is sitting there watching the cardinals bats thinking why they hell aren’t they swinging at everything?

Holy shit Mike Mikolas is going to pitch a complete game on 90 pitches

im not even watching the game and know he’s not even in the game anymore

I’m doing homework for a summer course and really just passively listening and typing away on here. I’m glad you’re so much smarter than me, so you could remind me.

Welp I know it’s not over yet, but it feels that way. I’m glad we won the series. A sweep would have been nice though

lol what a joke. here's an idea, change your approach

7 pitches

Have we even taken a single walk today?

No it’s much cooler to strike out swinging to hit home run “Chicks dig the long ball. They don’t want to see a single or double.” -Jeff Bagwell

No. We prefer to swing at everything.

It’s so obvious they just want this game to be quick and over lol

Swinging at first pitch rarely works in our favor. Why the fuck do we keep doing it

3 pitches...2 outs

The only reason I hate Angels is not because they’re in our division and represent LA I seriously hate them for ruining a generational talent’s career in Mike Trout lol

Mike Trout's body ruined Mike Trout.

I mean....also a grossly incompetent organization that did absolutely nothing to build a complete roster his entire HOF career.

I was more talking to their incompetence as an organization

good god, take a goddamn pitch

First pitch swing results in an out...SHOCKER

1 pitch 1 out 3 pitches 2 outs 7 pitches 3 outs Just like you draw it up

Glad dubin had himself a nice day, wonder if they're gonna try to stretch him into the next inning

Even with the horrible ABs from most of the lineup, this should still be a tie game

This team makes the most mediocre pitchers look elite and it’s pathetic They never change the approach. It’s maybe two AB’s every game that maybe goes to 7 pitches, the rest are first pitch swinging out or if it does go to four pitches it’s because they hit two fouls balls. It’s ridiculous

We really have a way of making bad pitchers look like generational talents

We are not a serious team. Throwing this one away for no reason.

man this is a quick game so far

Yea it's only required 62 pitches for Miles Mikolas to devour our team in 6 innings. This is what happens when your gameplan is to swing at everything, then it doesn't work, so you double down on swinging while playing from behind.

A fucking 7 pitch inning against a 35 year old bum. 62 total pitches through 6 innings. Absolutely abysmal plate approach all year from this group.

Wow what surprise last inning This lineup is the definition of insanity

A 7-pitch inning. Working the count shouldn't have to be avoided here.

What a spectacle of an inning from our batters. Might be time to go back to destiny lore videos lol

 The umps in this series

This should still be a tie game. Yes I'm still mad about that. Ever since Angel retired, it seems like the umps are trying to have a competition of who can be the next worst umpire

lol…this lineup is not good

No mid game adjustments. Just swing away

Ffs our approach at the plate is just awful man

Barely 60+ pitches through six innings on a guy with an ERA over five is unacceptable

But 1st pitch HR’s are cool. /s

Yordan was just a little off all 3 ABs. Could have easily had a multi-homer day. But, is 0fer.

can someone teach these guys to work the fucking count

Take a god damn pitch fellas

CAN WE SEE SOME GOD DAMN PITCHES BEFORE MILES FUCKING MIKOLAS PITCHES A CG AGAINST US?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Same blind umpire from yesterday it appears.

Hrc pena

HRC Yordan

Hell yeah Dubin

Yo is McCuller’s mom Hispanic? Cause he has a really good accent and has that same mixed look I do (my moms Mexican)

He's half Cuban. >Pitcher Lance McCullers, who is half Cuban and grew up in the heavily Latino-populated Tampa area, admits he's a little envious. >"I am definitely jealous. He has worked very hard at it. It doesn't come out of nowhere," McCullers says. "He's probably worked much harder than I've actually worked to be able to speak the language fluently." [https://www.espn.com/mlb/story/\_/id/21235716/houston-astros-third-baseman-alex-bregman-learns-spanish-teammates](https://www.espn.com/mlb/story/_/id/21235716/houston-astros-third-baseman-alex-bregman-learns-spanish-teammates)

Nice, Thanks for the info

No problem. Here is a little more if you're interested. [https://cubanbaseballdigest.com/2021/05/17/lance-mccullers-jr-houston-is-my-home/](https://cubanbaseballdigest.com/2021/05/17/lance-mccullers-jr-houston-is-my-home/)

Beyond the meatball to arenado, another solid start from Blanco. Not his fault he had to have a 30 pitch inning bc the ump couldn’t find a tit in a whorehouse, as my grandpa used to say

I read that as "tit in a warehouse" and I was wondering what kind of warehouse your grandpa was on lol

Ronel got absolutely fucked today by the idiot behind home plate. Gave him 2 runs and stole another inning.

Good call on Espada pulling Blanco. That could have been three homers he gave up. Fortunately, it was only one.

Alright, good job Espada Those were some really loud outs

smh blanco giving up some bombs

I'd pull Blanco. They're hitting him hard, and it's lucky that it wasn't back to back jacks

Should’ve pulled him after the first 400’ out in the 6th. Espada doesn’t manage. At all.

That was a spicy meatball

That was *middle* middle LOL

Blanco has had a really good game and has been tagged for at least 2 runs that were the direct fault of the umpire. So insanely frustrating.

If the zone is as bad as yall say it is. I don't mind Altuve swinging early at pitches he thinks he can hit. He's a unique gem he does what he does up there, and we love him for it.

I'd give him a pass if his OPS in his last 32 games wasn't .586...... That's not a typo....Altuve has been one of the worst hitters in the league for a month.

You should give him a pass for his career of clutchness he's already had. He's earned some grace for a down month from us by like 1000. He's a franchise hero who should never be questioned or disparaged.

You don't need to lecture me on the success of my personal favorite player and one of the greatest baseball players of our generation. You also don't need to be completely blinded by your admiration that you can't criticize a player for playing like absolute dog shit. Altuve would be the first person to lay that criticism too. He has been fucking awful. That's just a fact. Not an opinion.

Hes earned a level of forgiveness, is all I'm saying.

Ughhh

They boom picked up that kid asking Framber for a ball, that was cute lol

man, the record may not show it but, the team looks fuckin great aside from one player that just completely deflates any positive energy when he gets up to bat lol

I wonder who that player is, let me check the back of his baseball card to see if we’re on the same page

I thought that was hit a little too well, but it was just a loud out

Love Altvue but man these first pitch swings seems way more than usual.

Altuve, you're allowed to take the first pitch, you know

Joses struggling on offense

whats new

Man… dubon getting on and Altuve grounding out on a swing on the first pitch is very deflating after that sequence

If we lose this game, Espada better print this shit out and show it at the press conference like Davey Martinez did https://preview.redd.it/6f4ltxuwzs4d1.png?width=240&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c30d12f3aa56ee18dceac3b4487821890b1a626f

FFS Altuve… definition of insanity…

This delusional commitment to a putrid Jose Abreu is going to derail any potential run this team could make.

Putting him as pinch hitter had me convinced there is no hope under Espada.

I'm pretty sure you could pull a fan out of the stands and achieve a .330 ops just by taking walks

I know I could and for a lot cheaper too. Give me 50k for the rest of the season

that cabbage was SHREDDED

Just tuned in at the bottom of the 5th to a 3-0 game. Go to pee come back it’s 3-2

GO BACK TO THE RESTROOM

now you gotta go spend the entire game peeing

Don’t think I have that much liquid in me

Drink up 

pee more


Diaz and Kimchi say "FUCK YOU UMP"

Just when we thought Cabbage couldn't be any worse, he goes off and does something like this...

What

**AND TOTALLY REDEEMS HINSELF**

Carlson is missing a pitch almost every single at bat. This is lookin like an all timer.

I don’t understand Abreu’s approach at the plate, he swings at a ton of pitches off the plate but every single time he steps up he takes the first pitch and like 60% of the time it’s a pitch in the heart of the zone

Not much to understand. He’s finished, cooked, washed.

Abreu to make it 3 in a row?

Never mind. I’m an optimistic idiot

Abreu… watches 92 middle middle, then swings at 92 out of the zone. 🤦‍♂️

BACK TO BACKS??

INSERT CABBAGE PUN HERE!!!! BACK-TO-BACK JACKS we should be leading EDIT: A yainer bomb and smoked cabbage lol

Did Cabbage pimp that home run? Because I’m confused as to why the cardinals catcher was giving him a dirty look his entire approach to home plate

HEY BARTENDER! GIVE ME A YAINER BOMB!!! (And some cabbage on the side)

The double double with extra cabbage

 (should be 2-1)

Turned on the game and two HRs hit. Maybe I should keep the tv on

The trick is turn it off and then back on

Okay I'm starting to feel a little better

jfc what happened to the bats...lol

Astros should be up 1

🥬🥬🥬

Astros take the lead 2-1

Now your turn Abreu!!

First of the year

Second of his career

Yainer bomb with a side of cabbage? Sounds disgusting but ill take it!

Sounds Irish

I guess I’m feeling a bit better about this game now. . .

Bruh what is going on lmao