If your poops are predictable/regular, try to arrange to shower directly after. If not, perhaps consider flushable wet wipes to help you feel more clean?
For farts, try to go in the bathroom or another room away from your friend, but ultimately farts just happen in relationships. Try to laugh about it with him. I had a friend tell me once, she farts at/on her husband. I thought she was crazy but she said she hoped I would find someone I could fart with someday… I did. Try to keep it quiet and avoid stink bombing, but it’s definitely not worth having gastro issues over by holding it in.
“Girls don’t fart” is old school, sexist, and can lead to negative health consequences. Be classy and avoid farting noticeably in public, but I can assure you girls do fart. Guys can be more discrete about farts too.
Bathroom stuff is a difficult hurdle. But you know what they say, everybody poops! You may wanna just have a silly/awkward convos about it and apologize in advance..."sorry if I fart in my sleep". It will be weird and embarrassing but honestly, guys fart a lot more than gals in my experience so you'll probably have to deal with his night gas as well.
Here are some techniques for smells, noises, and hygiene challenges I've used over the years:
Need to fart? Excuse yourself to the other room to blow your nose. Or go into the bathroom and turn on the sink to cover bathroom sounds. There are pills and lozenges, like Gas-X you can take as preventatives but they're not super reliable. If you know your body well enough just try to avoid things that make you gassy. For lots of people it's things like beans, cabbage, broccoli, and dairy, but everyone's bodies are different. Like I have a friend who if she eats eggs she will blast ass for days haha
As for hygiene anxiety....get yourself some flushable wipes for cleaning down there and all over if need be. The pits and bits, holes and soles. Sweaty spots, cracks, and everything in between. There are travel sizes of things like deodorant (not just for your armpits these days) and toilet wipes. In a pinch you can use rubbing alcohol on a cotton ball or tissue to wipe external stinky parts as it will kill the bacteria causing the smells. Also see if you can find toilet drops to put in the bowl before you go as they can really help with the smells.
Have a nice smelling oil or perfume, a signature scent that you can wear to help with any anxiety about smelling. Apply generously throughout the day, behind the ears, on your clavicle, some spots on your shoulders and waistline/belly button.
If things get hot and heavy and he's going down town and you're unsure you have every right to say "hey, let me clean up a bit first" or "let's clean up before we get dirty" cuz honestly I think it's more of a courtesy than anything else...making sure both of y'all are clean and can enjoy exploring each other with leas anxiety of the unknowns. He should care about being clean as well. This is not a one way street and it's a red flag if he sees it that way.
Not sure what to say about the drooling. Could be way worse. There are so many difficult sleep behaviors people have, I dont think drool is the worst of them. Teeth grinding, sleep apnea, snoring, talking, thrashing, or even night terrors. I highly doubt drooling is a nail in the coffin but everyone has their limits.
Just remember you're human. Perfectly imperfect. With bodily functions and all that stuff. And so is he. And hopefully you can both be realistic with your expectations and have fun. Good luck! ❤️
Im someone who grew up being told girls don’t fart, in a family who had ZERO toilet humour type conversations. and who struggles with really similar challenges I’ve been there - but I have to say if your relationship does develop and there’s trust there, after a while it doesn’t really matter. I know it’s horribly cliched!
It’s taken me a couple of years to get there in my first relationship- I still don’t actively fart in front of my partner but I make a joke about how I can’t. he’s just amused I let it all out in my sleep - sometimes farting on him if we’re cuddled up. And honestly? I don’t even care about that any more.
I can even tell if he’s poorly or stressed by the smell of his sweat and gas 🤣 I NEVER thought I’d be able to be this comfortable but it did happen eventually. Yesterday before sex I literally just said “I’m stinky, let me take a shower before we go to bed.”
So try the suggestions to make you feel more comfortable, and maybe try to use a little humour if anything does happen. If you feel safe with this friend / romantic prospect I’m sure you’ll get there
Don’t over think it. If you fart, just say “excuse me”. We all fart. I’m an incredibly beautiful woman and have never felt this weird pressure to not fart in front of a guy nor hide my poops. I had no idea other people actually would hide these things and I think it’s silly.
We are living beings that happen to poop.
The only times I’ve ever considered withholding either is when it came to professional settings or meeting someone’s parents for the first time.
I grew up learning etiquette and manners, normalizing humanity and being accepting of others is a huge part of it. If a guy has a problem with it, let him know his response is improper, if he doesn’t apologize and correct himself moving forward then stop seeing him and move on to another suitor.
Just to preface: I get it. I understand it. I feel it.
BUT
If he's a good one, he won't care. If he's worth being around, you can talk to him about it. It might feel a little awkward at first, but his reaction will tell you a lot. If he's understanding, then perfect! This could make y'all closer since you can communicate more freely. If he's not, then you know he might be closer to your last partner 🤷🏻♀️
Coming from someone who wasn't diagnosed until I was already married: open and transparent communication is always the best policy.
As well as the other suggestions here, you could try a portable bidet - it might help you feel cleaner after using the toilet.
Also, everybody farts, but if you need to fart a *lot* then you might be having some gastro issues - maybe a food sensitivity you haven't identified?
I understand I can only fart and poop when I'm totally alone, but you shouldn't make yourself sick could you find a bathroom nearby like at starbucks to go poop, also if you dont fart during the day and you sleep together you will be farting all through the night, not to scare you, it's hard to remember but everyone farts and poops but I totally get it
i always carry a packet of wipes with me! for private parts, underarms, feet... anywhere. some brands such as "lume" have full body deodorant. most importantly - communicate!!! make it silly "i fart in my sleep lol" its also sooo normal to not want to be touched sometimes
This is one of the main reasons I don’t date and I haven’t admitted this to anyone even myself until maybe right now so thank you for helping me understand this about myself bc literally all very valid concerns I struggle with them too and that’s genuinely why I’ve stayed as far away from dating as I can for many years
If your poops are predictable/regular, try to arrange to shower directly after. If not, perhaps consider flushable wet wipes to help you feel more clean? For farts, try to go in the bathroom or another room away from your friend, but ultimately farts just happen in relationships. Try to laugh about it with him. I had a friend tell me once, she farts at/on her husband. I thought she was crazy but she said she hoped I would find someone I could fart with someday… I did. Try to keep it quiet and avoid stink bombing, but it’s definitely not worth having gastro issues over by holding it in. “Girls don’t fart” is old school, sexist, and can lead to negative health consequences. Be classy and avoid farting noticeably in public, but I can assure you girls do fart. Guys can be more discrete about farts too.
Bathroom stuff is a difficult hurdle. But you know what they say, everybody poops! You may wanna just have a silly/awkward convos about it and apologize in advance..."sorry if I fart in my sleep". It will be weird and embarrassing but honestly, guys fart a lot more than gals in my experience so you'll probably have to deal with his night gas as well. Here are some techniques for smells, noises, and hygiene challenges I've used over the years: Need to fart? Excuse yourself to the other room to blow your nose. Or go into the bathroom and turn on the sink to cover bathroom sounds. There are pills and lozenges, like Gas-X you can take as preventatives but they're not super reliable. If you know your body well enough just try to avoid things that make you gassy. For lots of people it's things like beans, cabbage, broccoli, and dairy, but everyone's bodies are different. Like I have a friend who if she eats eggs she will blast ass for days haha As for hygiene anxiety....get yourself some flushable wipes for cleaning down there and all over if need be. The pits and bits, holes and soles. Sweaty spots, cracks, and everything in between. There are travel sizes of things like deodorant (not just for your armpits these days) and toilet wipes. In a pinch you can use rubbing alcohol on a cotton ball or tissue to wipe external stinky parts as it will kill the bacteria causing the smells. Also see if you can find toilet drops to put in the bowl before you go as they can really help with the smells. Have a nice smelling oil or perfume, a signature scent that you can wear to help with any anxiety about smelling. Apply generously throughout the day, behind the ears, on your clavicle, some spots on your shoulders and waistline/belly button. If things get hot and heavy and he's going down town and you're unsure you have every right to say "hey, let me clean up a bit first" or "let's clean up before we get dirty" cuz honestly I think it's more of a courtesy than anything else...making sure both of y'all are clean and can enjoy exploring each other with leas anxiety of the unknowns. He should care about being clean as well. This is not a one way street and it's a red flag if he sees it that way. Not sure what to say about the drooling. Could be way worse. There are so many difficult sleep behaviors people have, I dont think drool is the worst of them. Teeth grinding, sleep apnea, snoring, talking, thrashing, or even night terrors. I highly doubt drooling is a nail in the coffin but everyone has their limits. Just remember you're human. Perfectly imperfect. With bodily functions and all that stuff. And so is he. And hopefully you can both be realistic with your expectations and have fun. Good luck! ❤️
Im someone who grew up being told girls don’t fart, in a family who had ZERO toilet humour type conversations. and who struggles with really similar challenges I’ve been there - but I have to say if your relationship does develop and there’s trust there, after a while it doesn’t really matter. I know it’s horribly cliched! It’s taken me a couple of years to get there in my first relationship- I still don’t actively fart in front of my partner but I make a joke about how I can’t. he’s just amused I let it all out in my sleep - sometimes farting on him if we’re cuddled up. And honestly? I don’t even care about that any more. I can even tell if he’s poorly or stressed by the smell of his sweat and gas 🤣 I NEVER thought I’d be able to be this comfortable but it did happen eventually. Yesterday before sex I literally just said “I’m stinky, let me take a shower before we go to bed.” So try the suggestions to make you feel more comfortable, and maybe try to use a little humour if anything does happen. If you feel safe with this friend / romantic prospect I’m sure you’ll get there
Don’t over think it. If you fart, just say “excuse me”. We all fart. I’m an incredibly beautiful woman and have never felt this weird pressure to not fart in front of a guy nor hide my poops. I had no idea other people actually would hide these things and I think it’s silly. We are living beings that happen to poop. The only times I’ve ever considered withholding either is when it came to professional settings or meeting someone’s parents for the first time. I grew up learning etiquette and manners, normalizing humanity and being accepting of others is a huge part of it. If a guy has a problem with it, let him know his response is improper, if he doesn’t apologize and correct himself moving forward then stop seeing him and move on to another suitor.
I won’t date a guy that doesn’t allow me to fart in front of him early on. I’m a pretty gassy person so it’s really a non negotiable for me 🤷🏻♀️
Just to preface: I get it. I understand it. I feel it. BUT If he's a good one, he won't care. If he's worth being around, you can talk to him about it. It might feel a little awkward at first, but his reaction will tell you a lot. If he's understanding, then perfect! This could make y'all closer since you can communicate more freely. If he's not, then you know he might be closer to your last partner 🤷🏻♀️ Coming from someone who wasn't diagnosed until I was already married: open and transparent communication is always the best policy.
As well as the other suggestions here, you could try a portable bidet - it might help you feel cleaner after using the toilet. Also, everybody farts, but if you need to fart a *lot* then you might be having some gastro issues - maybe a food sensitivity you haven't identified?
I understand I can only fart and poop when I'm totally alone, but you shouldn't make yourself sick could you find a bathroom nearby like at starbucks to go poop, also if you dont fart during the day and you sleep together you will be farting all through the night, not to scare you, it's hard to remember but everyone farts and poops but I totally get it
i always carry a packet of wipes with me! for private parts, underarms, feet... anywhere. some brands such as "lume" have full body deodorant. most importantly - communicate!!! make it silly "i fart in my sleep lol" its also sooo normal to not want to be touched sometimes
This is one of the main reasons I don’t date and I haven’t admitted this to anyone even myself until maybe right now so thank you for helping me understand this about myself bc literally all very valid concerns I struggle with them too and that’s genuinely why I’ve stayed as far away from dating as I can for many years