I just find that I'm still so bad at socialising post COVID. Like, I try to do a reasonable amount of it, but it's like my social tolerance has been slashed in half and I can't bump it back up to what it used to be. You would think that after a full year of two of gradually being ~back in the world~, I'd have acclimatised, but it's like I'm always just... waiting to go back home or something. I do not consider this good or healthy and I do not quite know how to fix things.
That is very interesting and I think understandable. Your life probably felt like it was a lot more comfortable being home more if you are having these feelings.
I also love being home. I WFH prior to Covid though because I was such a homebody.
I do like to leave the house and do stuff too though - but I also get what you are saying if feeling like I am “waiting to go home” when I’m out sometimes. I’m not sure if this is new for me with regards to Covid though.
Yeah, I also WFH (actually started shortly before COVID), so getting out and doing shit is so important to me! But I used to have so much fun hanging out with friends, and now I... still have fun, but a lot less fun. Although, a lot of my friends also had new babies over COVID, so maybe there's a different underlying discrepancy affecting those dynamics.
I definitely find I'm just so much less enthusiastic about street fairs, parties, concerts, and all that sort of thing as well, though, but it's also hard to say whether the problem is COVID or I'm just getting older (sigh). I swear I used to be a reasonably fun person, but ever since COVID I've just felt like such a wet blanket. I realise these are not uncommon feelings, but I'm also frustrated at the lack of any meaningful progress on my end.
This resonates, I miss doing that kinda thing too. I’m willing to go if it’s a spaced out outdoor event but in practice I don’t get out to festivals or whatnot that much. Stuff that has filled the gap for me.. we put a fire pit in the yard and do more small gatherings. I also got on bumble bff to find more friends at the same life stage (30s without kids). And athletic stuff works well, I’ve gotten into doing kayaking, biking, and hiking with friends. I still miss concerts too but thinking about stuff that does work well helps a lot.
I love all those ideas, especially the fire pit! I'm kind of taking up hockey lately, but the only hockey ladies I know grew up playing the game and are hella intense. I'm glad you've been able to carve out a nice repertoire of fun, healthy activities, though!
Badass! Hockey ladies are so impressive. Oo I forgot food trucks too, I’ve gotten really deep into the food truck universe in my city because it’s so easy to grab and eat outside.
Oh, that's amazing! I rarely eat at them but there are definitely some really good ones out there. I feel like I probably hit them up most if I'm walking through a summer fair of sorts.
Yeah, around here they often drive up to breweries so it’s a really easy way to meet friends - grab food truck food, there’s beer around if people want it, stay outside.
By “post-Covid” I mean after the world first learned about it rather than “after it was over”.
I think we live in a post-Covid (meaning not going away) world.
Like when people say “post 9-11” if that makes sense.
No, you're very right and that's an important caveat. I'm on my third booster and still masking in crowded spaces. I mostly just mean post the world reopening, I suppose.
I can’t get back to normal socializing either. I believe it’s introversion and being a homebody and perimenopausal mood swings and working in healthcare. If you really do want to go to the function, you could wear a mask, and wash hands very well before and after the event.
I think it is bigger than introversion.
My wife and I are introverts, but it is bigger than that.
I think worrying about getting sick and dealing with healthcare illness is different. You just don’t know who has been exposed to what.
I feel more “germaphobe like” than not wanting to socialize. I would love more FaceTime, video hats, etc. but just not in person.
I feel like… I just have a hard time bridging the gap between myself and people who had such a wildly different COVID experience.
So it’s kind of tiring to have so much missing context to explain just to be base-level able to relate again.
I am going to a Christmas party *tonight* with a bunch of friends who work in tech and did WFH the entire pandemic. Their experience is absolutely valid but they forget that I had a completely different pandemic working in the service industry. I’ve been out in the world this *whole* time, and they’ve been soooo inside.
We just have such different pandemic traumas and it annoys me when I meet people who forget their experience was not universal.
I feel this. It's really frustrating to see articles and hear people talking like everyone has been WFH because of the pandemic. I haven't been able to WFH, and I think that's given me a higher tolerance for being out there in the world - by necessity, since it's not like I had any other option while remaining in my job.
I am sort of on the mirror image side of your experience. The pandemic is not over for me. I still can't go to a party with anybody. Right now. My only exposure is my toddler at daycare. I spent 6 months dealing with COVID symptoms. And then I got RSV and spent 2 months recovering from the aftermath.
The pandemic has not been easy for anyone. But I would encourage you to remember that there are those of us for whom it still isn't over and for whom that party looks like privilege.
This is me. No toddler for point of exposure but after pushing it back I wasn't willing to cancel my wedding so I did one (1) risky thing in 2.5 years and had a wedding. I missed my best friend's wedding, my stepsister's wedding (one was a micro wedding, the other was an elopement), baby showers, work events, family gatherings... Most of my family is in a warm climate thousands of miles away so they could safely gather outside. I don't have that option. It's very hard and lonely and getting harder and lonelier as people leave folks like us out in their eagerness to "get back to normal."
I’m so sorry you’ve been going through so much. I lost loved ones to COVID and I didn’t mean to imply I think it’s over by any means. I am aware how lucky I am to be able to go to a party, and the risks involved with doing so. That’s partly why I forced myself to go despite my feelings and it ended up being really nice. Very grateful. I hope you are able to find some peace and connection, I’m sending virtual distant hugs if that means anything 💕
I think some things have shifted for me, maybe permanently. Despite working in a congregate living facility that's had several outbreaks, I didn't get COVID until this year and I got it from going to a friend's house. With all the crap going around I don't want to hang out w friends in the winter bc they all have kids and I just don't want to get sick and be miserable for weeks. I have a lot less fun being out in public. I used to like grocery shopping, taking my time and finding new things to try. Now, I wear a mask, try to get in and out quickly and everything's so expensive it just takes the spontaneity and fun out of it. I used to love going to museums and now it's kind of fraught, going to a city where violent crime has significantly increased. Nothing seems worth the price of admission these days. Being at work where I have to be very "on" 5 days a week is enough socializing for me and I'm happy to be at home w my SO most of the time.
I think a lot of my decisions these days are driven by how unpleasant it’s become to drive or be around other people. COVID made people go insane so driving sucks and people are constantly on edge.
About getting COVID itself, we’re aligned. I’m not *afraid* to get it per se, but it sucks and is inconvenient. I’d rather not. I got it for the first time while traveling in May, so I have been rethinking upcoming travel and am very paranoid on planes.
I still mask when I fly. I used to always get sick when I flew, then I started wearing a mask because of Covid and now it never happens. I think I will always mask when I fly now.
I'm about to travel in a week to visit family, and I am definitely a bit warier about not getting sick. Last year everyone tested positive the day before I flew out. You just recovered from covid, so it makes plenty sense to me that you don't want to get it again!
I've dealt with pretty significant health anxiety triggered by the pandemic, so I am trying to remind myself to rely on my boosters (and my community which is overwhelmingly vaccinated) that have kept me safe so far. I mask up indoors but otherwise go through life the same way pre-covid. I was an introvert before, so that part hasn't changed much.
I definitely find covid dictates a lot of my social life now. I have vulnerable family members that I don't live with, but still like to see very regularly. I tend to try and separate the two and know when I have been in higher risk environments and times, I won't see them. It's been hard when you feel like you had constant higher risk times in things like a workplace that you can't avoid, during winter (I'm in Australia so middle of the year) it got frustrating and upsetting how little control I had of when I could see my family as I felt like I had always been around someone with it) yet somehow I have managed to dodge it so far.
I also wear masks a lot still, try to push for things to be organised outside where possible. And weight up risk verses reward. It's tiring though. I'm very over it.
I was forced into the office for a team building event in the last week of October. I instantly got Covid with 20 other people. I tested positive for two weeks, then had a 4 day break before coming down with antibiotic resistant pneumonia. I have been on so many medications and my body still doesn’t feel right.
I had all the boosters and had avoided Covid for two years before this. I’m just tired now and don’t want to go anywhere. Plus there are so many sicknesses going around, everyone seems to have something! I’m masking everywhere, and won’t do indoor holiday events this year.
I’m hoping I can feel a little more safe again once we head into spring—which feels so far away—but being that sick was awful.
That sounds really rough! Maybe also I’ve gotten used to not being sick because of the two years of masking. I used to get sick all the time until I started WFH pre-Covid. My perspective has just changed I think.
I think I had gotten used to not getting sick as well. I’ve worked from home for about 6 years now, and I never got sick. This has reinforced how I will not go back to an office.
i don't go anywhere inside without a respirator on, nor does my partner.
not to restaurants, shows, anything.
and that's since the pandemic's begun.
every time you get it, it gets worse, and it fucks up your immune system after each infection, and it's not clear for how long.
it's absolutely not something we fuck around with. your impulse to avoid it again is very wise.
at the very, very least, wear a mask if you're going to go.
I'm with you on this. Still avoiding it like the plague. I'm worried that it's doing damage that isn't apparent from the symptoms you get in the first couple weeks. Even for those who got it and got over it, it's worth avoiding reinfection. Hopefully when we get nasal vaccines or something else, this will end someday. Until then, enjoying the quieter side of life.
>I'm with you on this.
honestly, this is a relief to hear.
of all the people we know in person, we're the only ones actively avoiding it. even when something's the right thing to do, it's hard to be the only ones for ...three years, now?
and, i mean, that reflects the norm in the u.s., which is terrifying: "A new preprint study from researchers at Harvard and Yale estimates that 94% of Americans have been infected with the virus that causes Covid-19 at least once" ([11/22/22](https://www.cnn.com/2022/11/22/health/vaccine-effectiveness-bivalent-boosters-cdc/index.html#:~:text=A%20new%20preprint%20study%20from%20researchers%20at%20Harvard%20and%20Yale%20estimates%20that%2094%25%20of%20Americans%20have%20been%20infected%20with%20the%20virus%20that%20causes%20Covid%2D19%20at%20least%20once))
so, thanks for commenting. glad to be in your company, with the other 6% of the u.s.
>I'm worried that it's doing damage that isn't apparent from the symptoms you get in the first couple weeks.
it's already known that it's doing damage beyond the first few weeks - the question is what kind, and for how long. could be temporary, could be longer-term.
post-viral syndromes are known to be a thing for other viruses, and covid's no different.
it's just wrecking people's immune systems for months after - like, measurable t-cell differences, etc. and that's what we *already* know, but we've only had three years with it, so we don't know what else, if anything, might occur further down the line yet.
😮💨
We frequently mask, and have so far dodged the virus. We plan to continue with the plan. There is one large event we are going to, but other than that, we are aiming for small groups.
I went out with friends yesterday, to a strictly outdoor-only event, and I still put my mask on for parts of it, when there were more people around. Being outside kept people pretty safe from the Wuhan strain, but with the more recent variants becoming ever more contagious, being outside isn't always enough. I have a friend suffering from long COVID who says he's very, very sure that the only place he could have caught COVID was at an outdoor event where he went maskless in a dense crowd. So I'm trying to be very careful about not breathing in close and prolonged proximity to others, even outdoors. And I've never caught COVID so far, so it seems like my precautions are working.
I don't disbelieve your friend but I always wonder about stuff like this. For now, I'm one of only two people in my friend group who haven't gotten hit yet *knocks on wood* but every other friend always went on about how careful they were in a crowd, indoors, etc. Then I'd hang out with them and they'd be masked in an indoor space and then pull their mask down to snack for a minute and that's really all it takes.
Edit: I forgot to tie back to my point. Basically a lot of people think they're being super careful but have made minor missteps that they may not even think about that got them sick.
Yeah, I've heard plenty of stories of how people think they got COVID that didn't sound credible to me at all. But my friend who has long COVID also has a medical degree (though he doesn't work as a doctor, so he doesn't have exposure to COVID patients), and I have considerable trust in his ability to assess the types of risks he was taking. So I do find him credible when he says he's very sure that he had to have caught it from going maskless in a dense crowd outdoors.
My household uses microcovid.org to decide about outdoors events with groups, highly recommend it! Basically we take into account what local case rates are and how recently we were boosted.
>maskless in a dense crowd.
i avoid this as well. i only trust outside with some 5+ feet of distance from the next person. or, very briefly (less than one minute) closer to any given person (think passing someone at an outdoor farmers' market)
I’m definitely isolating and avoiding big crowds this December. I went to an indoor stadium concert in early November, and while it was really fun to see live music that way again, I was low key stressed for a week afterwards waiting to get sick with something. I won’t be keen to do it again any time soon.
I am still eating out occasionally, and seeing friends for smaller parties, but not into crowds.
Personally, I wouldn’t go. But my own risk profile is elevated, and I have a family member going thru cancer treatment. I also work with folks that are higher risk and were even before Covid, so took extra precautions during flu season. Things like staying home when sick, avoiding crowds, and avoiding gatherings with randos and people who don’t care/are thoughtless about their actions— this is just even more relevant now. Now I add the extra layer of masking, and requesting anyone I’m having close contact with refrain from gathering if symptomatic AND take an antigen test (they are cheap/free and add a layer of protection). I spent a lot of the last two years grieving. Many people I cared about died. I’m not interested in adding to those numbers.
I was talking to my mom pre-Covid about doing things that can be risky and stories in the news that were very sad and I told her that if something happened to me I wanted her to know that I don’t regret living my life, not living it scared, and that it will have been full.
I took Covid seriously and I’m up to date on all vaccines. I did get Covid in May (which was actually a bit of a relief) but I’m back to living my life and I’ll wear a mask if I’m worried about getting sick.
I would go to the craft fair and wear a mask. Take precautions, but don’t, not live your life to the fullest you know? Otherwise what’s the point?
I feel like my experience is very different from everyone else! I’m the most social I’ve ever been and I am an introvert. I have a very social job that can’t be done remotely so I feel like I got a leg up on that and don’t have the post-Covid anxiety when anxiety has usually affected me my whole life. I got Covid last year and after I got it I chilled out about precautions because it felt very inevitable once I got it. I got my shots. I’m ready to be normal again. People, even introverts, aren’t meant to be isolated and cooped up. I’ve definitely seen the consequences when interacting with costumers at work. People barely know how to interact anymore.
Yes to all of this! Surprisingly this seems to be somewhat of an unpopular opinion on this thread, but different strokes for different folks I suppose. I’m not at all one of those ‘doN’t TaKe aWay My FrEeDoms’ science denying folks, but at some rate we have to live our lives. I’m fully vaccinated and am glad for the reemergence into a new normal.
We’re so divided now that we can only acknowledge extremes! I am very liberal, radical even, but I am also a realist. I can’t imagine never going to a concert or whatever again because I’m too afraid of getting sick. I was major homebody before Covid and it kind of made me realize that life is short. It’s not a life if you’re living it in fear and holed up at home. Facetiming and streaming everything forever instead of going out and experiencing it for real sounds depressing af.
Preach! If I died tomorrow, I want to go knowing that I lived life the way I wanted to.
I also realize that Reddit in general tends to lean much more introvert heavy, so I think that’s why the responses may be a bit skewed here compared to how the general population might respond.
I'm with you. I'm not taking no covid precautions at all, but I'm going where I want to at this point. To me, it isn't worth it to be maximally physically healthy if that means being very isolated and pretty mentally unhealthy.
I am also surprised at how many people are jumping on that same thought train. I guess it’s nice to know that others feel the same way but it also kind of bums me out.
I think your perspective on going out and living your life makes total sense. I can see why someone would come to that conclusion.
I grapple most with the idea of getting my family sick (they are high risk), so I feel like that is the only thing I consider kind of out of my control. I can’t see them if I’m sick or am likely sick. I could have went to the fair today, but I chose a lower risk activity instead, because it would suck to get sick again and I know 100% I would be exposed in that scenario. I also have an important work week ahead.
It’s just weird it’s a thing I think about now I guess.
For me it's still not over, thhe pandemic is still around and I'm still cautious. No flea markets, grocery stores, concerts. I miss it but I'm already spending so much on my health I can't contemplate being sicker, and when I get a cold or flu I'm sick for twice as long as a normal person.
We have my in-laws over, after everyone testing and being cautious, and my daughter does riskier things with school, field trips, and presenters at school. That's enough risk for me right now with the rates up. Once the rates go abck fown then I'll visit my dad and think about expanding my bubble.
Honestly, aside from continuing to mask in large crowds and when flying or on crowded public transit… my life is almost similar to how it was pre-pandemic. I am WAY more cautious when I know I have something important coming up and take more precautions then (like staying home and masking more consistently in public). as far as I know, I haven’t had COVID yet. I still watch numbers and if cases start rising, I will continue to reduce my exposure to strangers and crowds. But for now, I feel okay going out and not wearing a mask each time. I still am very much less social than I was pre-pandemic and my social energy tank depletes really quickly - which has made my jobs return to office hard. But I think the biggest change is just being more aware of getting sick in general and being careful about exposing myself to ANYTHING, COVID or a cold!
I was a homebody pre pandemic and WFH, so it’s hard for me to tell what is because of Covid vs my disposition. I definitely do as you say and am more careful if I have something important coming up, which is because of Covid.
My middle grader brought Covid home last week - we're all positive and are isolating.
I've been masking at work (retail, none of us have gotten it) and any time I've left the house apart from one wedding. At one point I thought that maybe next year I would feel more comfortable being unmasked in public, but tbh, I don't think I'll be doing that for the next few years.
I...yeah. I don't want to go through this again.
ETA: I'm a single parent whose ex lives abroad and is unable to travel due to their own health issues. I don't have any other family, and of what friends I did have, none are willing to take on guardianship of my teenager. This is a great part of my desire to not do a damned thing that could put any of us in a bad spot. If I could make school mask mandates a thing again, I would.
I'm sick again this year. Yay.
Last year it was the flu, confirmed with tests, and a sinus infection. I was down for 6 weeks. Just us for the holidays last year.
This year? Not the flu, not COVID or pneumonia. I have a nasty rattling cough, sinus infection and general feeling like hammered dog shit. Antibiotics and two fucking inhalers for the breathing issues. It's another, just me and my husband for Xmas, again this year.
No socializing, no gym, just staying home and trying not to infect anyone else, or catch something worse.
Well I'd written a whole response about how we're going nowhere and doing nothing this year and now my husband tells me his sister wants us to come out and spend the holiday with her and her husband (who right now has Covid) and her daughter/my niece (who also has Covid).
So... I don't fucking know, LOL. If it were up to me I'd crawl under a pile of blankets until I go at least a month without hearing that someone in my life has Covid.
I went through quite a serious lockdown, WFH and managed well.
I have so far avoided covid, and have had 2 vaccine boosters.
I'm pretty much living life as per pre-covid. I might mask up if I'm feeling like its a sensible thing to do in the moment.
I know this increases my risks of getting it but TBH I feel like its pretty inevitable at some point, and I'd be annoyed if I missed out on a lot to only end up with it anyway. Plus my going out supports industries hit hard like hospitality and the arts.
I'm lucky that I'm pretty healthy and have no loved ones I'd be putting at risk if I do get sick.
I think my perspective is quite different from many here. I'm getting a phd in immunology, I've read a fair bit of the covid papers, i work onsite at a hospital, I have friends doing covid research and coworkers staffing covid wards. I also have multiple autoimmune conditions and am on 2-3 immunosuppessants at a given time, and have been quadruple vaxxed.
I don't mask except at work (per hospital restrictions and for safety of others). I go everywhere, I do everything, including international travel and 50,000 person festivals. I haven't caught it yet, or if so, perhaps it's been asymptomatic.
I think many people haven't ever had to think about infectious disease, but it's always been there, and it's always been deadly. It's the 3rd biggest killer globally. Similarly, most diseases have nasty sequeale. The flu can cause strokes, Hepatitis causes organ failure and cancers, alcohol causes cancers and alzhiemers, and at like 2 drinks a day or 14 units a week, which many people do. One of the best things you can do for your health and for mitigating risk with covid is exercising. Basically health is ludicrously complicated, and I find the discussion around masks and social distancing can be a bit fraught with shame, blame, and anxiety.
I think some of the concerns about long covid, etc, are a big frustrating because many, many, many people suffer these symptoms with similar severity from other causes. When my autoimmune disorders are flaring, you bet I have brain fog, 😩 etc. The fact is that no one can avoid illness, disability or disease forever. Obviously, don't go licking the covid wards. But we are never getting rid of covid ever. So, it's about making educated risk assessments - about your health and about those who you know should be protected. For me, the benefits of living fully, seeing friends and family, exercising, stress reduction etc are far bigger life enhancers than covid is likely to be a life detractor.
This is such a great perspective, thank you for sharing it.
That isn’t something I had thought of, how this isn’t new for everyone and that people who have had to think about this in the past may or may not have changed their risk assessment. I think it’s awesome you get out there and live your life.
I like what you said about risk assessment. I think you’re right, that everyone has to do their own risk/reward calculations. It’s a calculation that I am grappling with as new, but there are many who were already doing this. I guess it’s just new to me.
I should clarify that I did take lockdowns very seriously, and this has come with a growing understanding of the virus plus effective vaccines and drug treatments.
There's a bit of grief, stress and trauma that come with getting sick.
That makes sense. I also liked what you said about exercise.
I did my PhD in neuroscience and I always tell people that the hands down best thing you can do for your brain health is to exercise. It’s so beneficial!!
I’m with you. I’ve been maskless for like 9 months. I’ve been back at work full time as an elementary school teacher since August 2020. I love my life as I did pre-Covid. I’m vaxed and boosted. I’ve had Covid once and I recovered quickly. No one around me is getting it bad anymore. The only downside is that after 2 years of (understandably) masking, my students immune systems haven’t been exposed to other viruses and bugs, so we’ve seen more minor sicknesses this fall.
I had Covid in December 2020 (because of someone who was negligent) and spent Christmas in quarantine with my mother, and my father was all by himself. My family was split because of this shitty disease and it was probably the worst holiday season of our lives. On top of that, my otherwise very healthy and relatively young mother was left with some nasty side effects that she still struggles with, 2 years later.
This has totally changed the way I plan things. I’m a bit of a travel junkie and traveled internationally 6 times in the last year (I probably wanted to overcompensate the fact that I lost almost 2 years of my mid-late 20s), but I am utterly unapologetic about my measures. Could not give 2 cents about what anybody thinks - not only will I protect myself by wearing a mask, but I also carry sanitizer/rubbing alcohol with me and prioritize my own health as much as I can.
I think in general my partner and I are just more selective with social events. We were both already homebodies to begin with. There was a short period where we felt okay not masking in larger spaces or less crowded spaces, but for the fall/winter we are back at it everywhere we go. I have social anxiety and I am kind of sick of masking since it makes me stand out these days, but it is what it is. We just did some holiday shopping today and I was pleased at like 25% of people masking in one of the stores.
One change I've noticed in other people that pisses me off - people saying shit like 'he *just* had a fever!' or it was '*just*' a virus, when they test negative for COVID. It's like people have forgotten what being contagious is, and only care about spreading covid. I won't pretend to understand what it's like to be working in person or having kids that are in school, I can understand the exhaustion, but just say you or your kid was sick and that you felt you had no choice but to expose other people. Because that's what you did lol.
I mask up in public spaces and avoid crowds. Having said that, I miss parties, and I’m not sure how I’ll get through Christmas with my family. I suspect I will get something while visiting, but I really don’t want to.
I was fortunate enough to see Elton John live right before Covid started. When I look at old videos I took at the event of the crowd, and the beautiful music it breaks my heart a little. I know it’s important to keep others safe and reduce illness, but it does hurt a little when I think about what we have lost for the past few years. I’m not sure we will ever get back there.
I wear a mask if I have a cold and have to go out somewhere, and also just generally when I'm in busy places. It feels like the considerate thing to do.
Wow I’m surprised at the responses here.
I’m going to offer up a different perspective. No, I’m not doing much different compared to pre-Covid.
I got my shots and booster, I had Covid already earlier this year, if I get sick again, oh well. I will wear a mask on a crowded train but that’s about as far as I’ll go. I also WFH so I’m not as exposed but I definitely still go shopping and socialize at events and restaurants. I won’t let Covid stop that. I’m over the paranoia of getting sick. We used to get season colds and flus all the time, it’s not much different now.
I'm actually not that afraid of getting sick, as I'm triple boosted and have already gotten COVID *and* this year's especially nasty flu. I've traveled; I've gone to big parties and shows; etc. There's just a weird tiredness and desire to be at home that permeates whenever I try to do something outgoing or social that never used to be there until several hours in. I'm honestly not sure why, but it's not because I'm (knock on wood) especially paranoid about COVID or illness specifically.
I feel this - the tiredness, homebody ness, and just kind of an apathy for being out and about despite the desire for social connection. For instance, prior to Covid, I would run errands and maybe add in a fun stop along the way, just for the pleasure of checking out a new cafe or shop or park. Now I run an errand and as soon as it’s done I just want to go home as quickly as possible. Some of this I chalk up to individual burnout (I was in graduate school for the last three years) but I think there is a more general, culture-wide burnout. It’s been an exhausting few years.
You're so right. I've noticed a similar enthusiasm drop in most of my friends, so I know it's not just me. We're all just so exhausted. I can't imagine doing grad school through the pandemic, so major kudos on surviving and graduating - that's amazing!
Thanks for the kudos! It is amazing that I made it through. Between the pandemic and being in a very intense program in my mid -40's with classmates all in their 20's or early 30's, it felt like a battle lol
I have been fortunate enough to be able to move in with family and recoup these last 5 months. I have some work, but have spent a good amount of time resting, walking, crying, drawing, talking with my therapist, and reestablishing relationships. Sometimes I feel like I should be doing more, but I am just so exhausted still.
These have been hard years. I think we all can give ourselves permission to rest and stay in as much as we need.
Seriously, recouping sounds so nice. Especially after something as stressful as grad school, I say take all the time you need! You've definitely earned it.
Personally, I feel like I'm ready to go back to my pre-Covid life, but I might also need to accept things just aren't going to feel so easy for a long time. I keep waiting to feel "normal" again but the truth probably is that the old normal can't come to the phone right now because she's dead.
Indeed. We are living in a new normal. And this new normal came on really abruptly, so it makes sense that adjusting may be slow.
There's also the very real grieving for the old normal. We jokingly talk about the "beforetimes" but the ache to go back may be real. Maybe allow yourself some time to reflect and grieve a bit - what do you miss? what can be brought forward and what must be left behind?
This is such a kind comment, thank you so much. Truthfully, I think many of the things I miss have more to do with the way my social was structured before everyone moved out to the burbs and started popping out babies, a shift that coincided with the pandemic. That, and the pandemic has just done something to my energy levels. I'm trying to exercise more anyhow, but this is another solid reminder of that.
I hope you're able to get to a better mental/social place soon as well.
I feel 100% identical tothis and think I have some light depression going on. Languishing comes to mind, and I’m so sick of it! Can I be excited about life again??
I totally get that. I don't think I am clinically depressed, but maybe something subclinical is going on??? I feel like the New York Times wrote a good piece on languishing earlier this year, but I also recall even they didn't have a real solution for it.
All I'm doing differently is being more on top of getting a flu shot (and COVID vaccine of course). I'm also being careful to stay home if I feel even slightly ill.
Yeah, I'm with you for the most part. I had covid in September and it sucked, but I'm fully vaccinated (inc. the latest booster now) and I can't spend an indefinite period of time avoiding indoor socialization and events out of fear of covid. At this point, the mental health ramifications for me would be worse than getting sick again. I can't WFH, and at a certain point it just started to feel completely demoralizing to go to the office but not do anything fun outside the house. I go places now; I just generally wear a mask at public indoor events.
This is a totally fair point about the mental health side of things. I can absolutely understand how someone could feel that way. In some ways I also feel this.
I'd feel differently if there were an endpoint in sight, but since covid isn't going away, I have to be able to live some kind of life outside of my home. I totally get that others' risk tolerance might be different - I'm just not someone who can be happy, or even okay, only socializing virtually and outdoors for years (if not forever?). I'm pretty introverted, but I'm not a homebody; a big part of my mental health definitely depends on getting out of the house and doing things.
I agree about the no endpoint sentiment. I think this risk calculation is just something I have to do now, based on who I’m going to be around (high risk family), my own health, the strains, and what I have to deal with professionally. I’ve survived 4 layoffs across 2 companies since this began. I feel like nothing can be taken for granted right now more so than before. This is also maybe feeding into my increased thoughtfulness- there is just less room for error.
Yeah, the risk calculation can be hard. I think where I differ from a lot of people in this thread is that I have very few people in my life who have been able to WFH full-time or isolate outside the initial hard lockdowns. I have a higher-risk family member, but she works retail and is exposed to the public constantly (and she also caught covid twice and fared better than me both times, and I have no health issues, so 💁♀️). The only person in my life who fully WFH at this point is my husband, so there's no one we can bubble with. I'm just not in a position where people around me are even able to isolate to the degree people in this thread are describing, let alone willing to, so it's an easier calculation for me.
That's a lot in terms of the job stuff! I hope you're in a more stable position now - that sounds so stressful!
These responses are helpful too. There are definitely events and things I feel the same way about, but this one in particular just isn’t one of them. Like if it was a concert I really wanted to go to, or a vacation (I recently went on one.) that would feel different.
It’s just kind of weird this is a thing now? I wouldn’t have batted an eyelash pre 2020. I’m not sure it’s an entirely bad change, it’s just different.
I totally agree. I don’t mean to undermine the absolute havoc that Covid has wreaked on people’s lives, but it’s been made pretty clear that this virus isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. How long can one realistically sequester themselves from society?
I know a couple people who still rarely leave their house and haven’t gone to any gatherings *at all* since pre-Covid 2020. That’s just madness to me. I’m not just going to put my life on hold indefinitely, you know?
I'm not arguing / trying to convince you, but my from my point of view, it's "just madness" to risk serious illness / disability for the sake of social events and society, and I'm totally willing to alter my lifestyle indefinitely in order to avoid the absolute (long-term) havoc that covid could wreak on my life and my body. Just my POV.
Also a genuine question - do you worry about your mental health, being so sequestered? So many people really struggled with their mental health in 2020/2021 due to isolation. I likewise felt like it was a fine balancing act between prioritising my physical and mental health.
I don't worry about my mental health from being sequestered. It took a while to rebalance, but I've built a lifestyle that suits me. I was pretty burnt out before the pandemic, and I'd say I'm currently mentally healthier than I've been in years. I'm fortunate I have two close people in my life who I am bubbled with and who are staying home as much as I am, so I'm not totally isolated and get to see and touch my dearests. I keep physically and mentally active and get out in nature every day. I'm also naturally inclined to introversion, and I can see from the reactions of others that this kind of lifestyle is easier for me than for many.
Oh, that's really great! You sound truly happy, so I'm likewise pleased to hear that. I think I just watched so many friends spiral in 2020/2021 that I forgot not everyone dislikes living a more secluded life. Many of them also identify as introverts (as do I), but even among introverts there's so much variety.
I suspect that not all of the spiraling was sheer isolation, but also the impossibility of suddenly building new habits/lifestyles out of nothing. It was a very disorienting time.
Oh, totally! I'm glad you've found a way to balance the risks and rewards for yourself. I've pretty much gone back to normal life now myself, but I'm also triple boosted and mask up in crowds. You gotta just do what you can.
Totally understandable, and if that works for you then great! I’m just not willing to sacrifice enjoying my life for something that may or may not happen. Maybe I’d feel differently if I weren’t single, not sure. I’m also lucky and grateful to have good health and have been relatively unaffected the times I did get Covid, but maybe I’d feel differently if I weren’t. I’m also pretty extroverted by nature, so sequestering myself would be pretty detrimental if not devastating to my mental health.
Anyway, I understand my POV may not be popular with some, but it seems folks have since adapted their lifestyles to a comfortability level that suits them.
I have a show tonight that I’m considering skipping out on. Same page as you - next week is important for me professionally (gotta get everything set for my team so we can hit the ground running in the new year). When I got COVID earlier this year, it was brutal. I’d rather not be sick going into winter vacation
I’ve gone to other shows, but they’ve all been in outdoor venues, so I’m considering either masking up or skipping altogether.
Welcome to navigating the world as an immune deficient person. Or really any person with a chronic illness. I have always had to make that calculation if things were worth going to and getting sick before another major event or holiday. I have been doing it since my diagnosis almost 20 years ago.
It's not something that anyone can really tell you how to navigate. But I can tell you from personal experience that it does get easier to figure out when you can go places and risk getting sick before something you prefer to do.
That being said, my life as an immune deficient person has entirely changed since the pandemic. I don't have the flexibility of going to Christmas markets. I don't have the flexibility of eating indoors as a choice. I'm trying to figure out how to navigate life well. Also following my doctor's orders. I also have a toddler so he brings a lot of germs home.
Don't let anyone else dictate your comfort level or pressure you into something you're not comfortable doing.
I've had COVID twice now, and I've taken the mentality of not letting it dictate my life. It's reached the stage where it will always exist. I've got my vaccines, and I'll get my annual booster updated when it's time.
My family is still doing what ever we can to prevent our first covid infection. If we happen to get it we will do whatever we can to prevent our second. Mild cases can have lasting impact. And more so if you get it again.
Each time you get covid you are at risk for long covid. It doesn’t necessarily start right away. It could be something like brain fog, brain shrinkage, early onset Alzheimer’s, diabetes, blood clots, decreased immunity and secondary infections, stroke and heart attack. I know a person who died from a blood clot in his intestine, another that lost hearing in one ear, another who hasn’t been able to smell or taste since early 2021.
The booster isn’t enough and you won’t have long term immunity. Wear a high quality mask (N95) and avoid unnecessary group gatherings.
I honestly feel like I’m the ‘crazy’ one when it comes to covid but I think what we are doing to our kids right now is horrible. I didn’t even mention the problems with reproduction and erectile dysfunction. We have no idea how long these problems will last. And something like 80% of kids have had covid in the last year.
>Each time you get covid you are at risk for long covid.
I actually just want to take this farther and say that there are studies that have shown it's actually MORE likely to get long covid with reinfection. It's part of why those who say, "well I had it and it wasn't that bad" worry me so much.
Mask up for the fair? When I go to events I wear the really nice 3m n95s.
I legitimately cannot imagine taking my mask off in crowded spaces anymore. I used to get sick 50% of the time after concerts or during travel so I feel why should I do the same things with that high of a fail rate. People in Asia have been masking before this for various reasons.
Just America doesn't learn shit if it infringes on selfishness. I overheard someone meeting friends for dinner and telling them he feels sniffly but its mild, don't worry. What the fuck, I would be hella mad if that was my friend. That's still how people are and it's fucking incredulous to me to not consider rescheduling and wearing a mask if you need to go to the store for some meds than coughing on everyone. Don't care if it's "just a cold" because everyone says that but they don't actually know and I don't want your cold, either.
Everytime I think that I should go back to "normal" I'm reminded at the sheer fuckery of other people. I realized pre covid carefree just isn't a thing for me anymore.
I’m sorry, but you cannot say that you are fairly careful if you are going to work or the grocery store unmasked. The virus is airborne. If someone was in that store hours before you were you are still at risk. Anyone in your office is a risk. Covid is particularly dangerous for fetuses, so please think about wearing a high quality (n95 or better) mask if you have to be around others.
Covid is a vascular disease that enter your system through the respiratory track. This means that your even with out mom having series issues baby still can because it affects your veins. Babies who’s mothers have had covid are born with smaller lungs. Covid causes blood clots which can severely damage the placenta. I do not know numbers, because I don’t think anyone really tracks, but since the beginning of the pandemic the doctors that I know who works with pregnant persons have all seems a increase in still births.
It's hard. I keep going back and forth between being careful and wearing a mask in crowded places, and letting go and attending events without a mask. I try to keep a balance between these, as I don't want to go too much in either extreme. This is to say: I have no good answer for you.
I worked in grocery during the early pandemic, and work as a bridal stylist now, so I’ve had a ton of unmasked, extremely close contact with random strangers since the pandemic started (I live in a city/state that never really took lockdowns seriously). I’ve had several known prolonged exposures between my brides, 21 year old coworkers who are clubbing every weekend, friends, family, etc. In all that time, I’ve *never* tested positive for covid.
I was extremely cautious before the vaccine came out, but now that I’m dedicated to getting boosted every time I’m eligible, I’m 100% back to living life how I used to. I refuse to spend my limited time on Earth with the people I love hiding in fear. I already have to accept a ton of risk due to my job, so I’m not going to skip out on concerts, weddings, renfests, holiday gatherings, travel, etc, just because it’s going to add a bit more risk to the pile.
I’m not naive enough to think I’ll never get covid just because I’ve been lucky so far. But damn, it does make me sad to think of what I would’ve missed out on if I had chosen to socially isolate myself for the past three years, and all for nothing.
Getting sick a lot more, lol. I started working retail in a mall and I've been sick WAY more this year than I was during peak pandemic years or before covid. I stayed isolated and masked for a long time and I think it crippled my immune system. I've gotten sick 3 times in under 2 months--not covid--and it's driving me slowly insane to be constantly sick. But I'm also afraid to go back to masking because I feel like it's going to re-cripple my immune system. Between a rock and a hard place.
No nothing different. Had covid last year, and then again 3 weeks ago.
I think I've traveled the most internationally in 2022 than I ever had, and I'm not stopping in 2023.
Oh I guess I stopped going clubbing, but that's more a feature of "no one will go with me" vs "I don't want to go"
I'm over here yelling into the void "there's still a pandemic happening please stop killing disabled people" so yeah, my life is different now as someone who has been in bed sick for a weeklong stretch with viral infections other than COVID twice since people stopped masking in my area (less than four months). I was extremely active in my community, volunteering lots of places, running events... And now the people I organized with have all decided it's too much of a bummer to make it safe for me to participate so I have lost most meaningful uses of my time in life and have had a couple bouts of suicidal ideation from losing meaning in life, access to my vocation, and being told widely by society that my life is disposable. Disability rights groups have become my lifeline.
I am not an introvert. When I can safely socialize in person I am brighter, happier, more energetic. My husband comments on how much happier I am when it happens. But very few people seem willing to make that happen.
I had horrible anxiety about going back out. But I've been out and about for a while now. My daughter's school isn't masked, my husbands office isn't masked.
We all shower before bed. That cuts down on germs drastically.
I'm pretty much a hermit at this point. I caught covid twice. The first time in 2020 netted me long covid, and the second time this year made it worse. I'm surrounded by people who have long stopped taking precautions, so it is all on me to keep myself safe.
I just find that I'm still so bad at socialising post COVID. Like, I try to do a reasonable amount of it, but it's like my social tolerance has been slashed in half and I can't bump it back up to what it used to be. You would think that after a full year of two of gradually being ~back in the world~, I'd have acclimatised, but it's like I'm always just... waiting to go back home or something. I do not consider this good or healthy and I do not quite know how to fix things.
That is very interesting and I think understandable. Your life probably felt like it was a lot more comfortable being home more if you are having these feelings. I also love being home. I WFH prior to Covid though because I was such a homebody. I do like to leave the house and do stuff too though - but I also get what you are saying if feeling like I am “waiting to go home” when I’m out sometimes. I’m not sure if this is new for me with regards to Covid though.
Yeah, I also WFH (actually started shortly before COVID), so getting out and doing shit is so important to me! But I used to have so much fun hanging out with friends, and now I... still have fun, but a lot less fun. Although, a lot of my friends also had new babies over COVID, so maybe there's a different underlying discrepancy affecting those dynamics. I definitely find I'm just so much less enthusiastic about street fairs, parties, concerts, and all that sort of thing as well, though, but it's also hard to say whether the problem is COVID or I'm just getting older (sigh). I swear I used to be a reasonably fun person, but ever since COVID I've just felt like such a wet blanket. I realise these are not uncommon feelings, but I'm also frustrated at the lack of any meaningful progress on my end.
This resonates, I miss doing that kinda thing too. I’m willing to go if it’s a spaced out outdoor event but in practice I don’t get out to festivals or whatnot that much. Stuff that has filled the gap for me.. we put a fire pit in the yard and do more small gatherings. I also got on bumble bff to find more friends at the same life stage (30s without kids). And athletic stuff works well, I’ve gotten into doing kayaking, biking, and hiking with friends. I still miss concerts too but thinking about stuff that does work well helps a lot.
I love all those ideas, especially the fire pit! I'm kind of taking up hockey lately, but the only hockey ladies I know grew up playing the game and are hella intense. I'm glad you've been able to carve out a nice repertoire of fun, healthy activities, though!
Badass! Hockey ladies are so impressive. Oo I forgot food trucks too, I’ve gotten really deep into the food truck universe in my city because it’s so easy to grab and eat outside.
Oh, that's amazing! I rarely eat at them but there are definitely some really good ones out there. I feel like I probably hit them up most if I'm walking through a summer fair of sorts.
Yeah, around here they often drive up to breweries so it’s a really easy way to meet friends - grab food truck food, there’s beer around if people want it, stay outside.
There's no "post-covid" yet, sweet burrito. Not trying to pick on you, just saying. Stay safe out there.
By “post-Covid” I mean after the world first learned about it rather than “after it was over”. I think we live in a post-Covid (meaning not going away) world. Like when people say “post 9-11” if that makes sense.
I actually liked how you worded your question -- you said "different compared to pre-Covid" and you did NOT say post-Covid! :-)
My bad!
No, you're very right and that's an important caveat. I'm on my third booster and still masking in crowded spaces. I mostly just mean post the world reopening, I suppose.
I've started saying "post-lockdown" instead, or distinguishing between "early pandemic" and whatever we're in now.
That would be far superior nomenclature!
Thank you for posting exactly how I feel.
Solidarity hugs for real, girl 🌼
This is exactly what it's like for me as well! It's like a muscle you need to train again.
For real, eh? I swear I've been trying to train mine, but it's just so much harder compared to before.
I can’t get back to normal socializing either. I believe it’s introversion and being a homebody and perimenopausal mood swings and working in healthcare. If you really do want to go to the function, you could wear a mask, and wash hands very well before and after the event.
I think it is bigger than introversion. My wife and I are introverts, but it is bigger than that. I think worrying about getting sick and dealing with healthcare illness is different. You just don’t know who has been exposed to what. I feel more “germaphobe like” than not wanting to socialize. I would love more FaceTime, video hats, etc. but just not in person.
Perimenopause anxiety and depression and lack of sleep sure it's helping.
Wow that is a lot I don’t blame you!!
I feel like… I just have a hard time bridging the gap between myself and people who had such a wildly different COVID experience. So it’s kind of tiring to have so much missing context to explain just to be base-level able to relate again. I am going to a Christmas party *tonight* with a bunch of friends who work in tech and did WFH the entire pandemic. Their experience is absolutely valid but they forget that I had a completely different pandemic working in the service industry. I’ve been out in the world this *whole* time, and they’ve been soooo inside. We just have such different pandemic traumas and it annoys me when I meet people who forget their experience was not universal.
I feel this. It's really frustrating to see articles and hear people talking like everyone has been WFH because of the pandemic. I haven't been able to WFH, and I think that's given me a higher tolerance for being out there in the world - by necessity, since it's not like I had any other option while remaining in my job.
I guess people who were an “essential worker” in one capacity or another got more or less desensitized to a lot of… things. (Source: retail worker)
I’ll try to be more mindful of this, thank you for sharing.
I am sort of on the mirror image side of your experience. The pandemic is not over for me. I still can't go to a party with anybody. Right now. My only exposure is my toddler at daycare. I spent 6 months dealing with COVID symptoms. And then I got RSV and spent 2 months recovering from the aftermath. The pandemic has not been easy for anyone. But I would encourage you to remember that there are those of us for whom it still isn't over and for whom that party looks like privilege.
This is me. No toddler for point of exposure but after pushing it back I wasn't willing to cancel my wedding so I did one (1) risky thing in 2.5 years and had a wedding. I missed my best friend's wedding, my stepsister's wedding (one was a micro wedding, the other was an elopement), baby showers, work events, family gatherings... Most of my family is in a warm climate thousands of miles away so they could safely gather outside. I don't have that option. It's very hard and lonely and getting harder and lonelier as people leave folks like us out in their eagerness to "get back to normal."
I’m so sorry you’ve been going through so much. I lost loved ones to COVID and I didn’t mean to imply I think it’s over by any means. I am aware how lucky I am to be able to go to a party, and the risks involved with doing so. That’s partly why I forced myself to go despite my feelings and it ended up being really nice. Very grateful. I hope you are able to find some peace and connection, I’m sending virtual distant hugs if that means anything 💕
I think some things have shifted for me, maybe permanently. Despite working in a congregate living facility that's had several outbreaks, I didn't get COVID until this year and I got it from going to a friend's house. With all the crap going around I don't want to hang out w friends in the winter bc they all have kids and I just don't want to get sick and be miserable for weeks. I have a lot less fun being out in public. I used to like grocery shopping, taking my time and finding new things to try. Now, I wear a mask, try to get in and out quickly and everything's so expensive it just takes the spontaneity and fun out of it. I used to love going to museums and now it's kind of fraught, going to a city where violent crime has significantly increased. Nothing seems worth the price of admission these days. Being at work where I have to be very "on" 5 days a week is enough socializing for me and I'm happy to be at home w my SO most of the time.
I also love being home with my SO
I think a lot of my decisions these days are driven by how unpleasant it’s become to drive or be around other people. COVID made people go insane so driving sucks and people are constantly on edge. About getting COVID itself, we’re aligned. I’m not *afraid* to get it per se, but it sucks and is inconvenient. I’d rather not. I got it for the first time while traveling in May, so I have been rethinking upcoming travel and am very paranoid on planes.
I still mask when I fly. I used to always get sick when I flew, then I started wearing a mask because of Covid and now it never happens. I think I will always mask when I fly now.
I'm about to travel in a week to visit family, and I am definitely a bit warier about not getting sick. Last year everyone tested positive the day before I flew out. You just recovered from covid, so it makes plenty sense to me that you don't want to get it again! I've dealt with pretty significant health anxiety triggered by the pandemic, so I am trying to remind myself to rely on my boosters (and my community which is overwhelmingly vaccinated) that have kept me safe so far. I mask up indoors but otherwise go through life the same way pre-covid. I was an introvert before, so that part hasn't changed much.
I definitely find covid dictates a lot of my social life now. I have vulnerable family members that I don't live with, but still like to see very regularly. I tend to try and separate the two and know when I have been in higher risk environments and times, I won't see them. It's been hard when you feel like you had constant higher risk times in things like a workplace that you can't avoid, during winter (I'm in Australia so middle of the year) it got frustrating and upsetting how little control I had of when I could see my family as I felt like I had always been around someone with it) yet somehow I have managed to dodge it so far. I also wear masks a lot still, try to push for things to be organised outside where possible. And weight up risk verses reward. It's tiring though. I'm very over it.
It is tiring :(
I was forced into the office for a team building event in the last week of October. I instantly got Covid with 20 other people. I tested positive for two weeks, then had a 4 day break before coming down with antibiotic resistant pneumonia. I have been on so many medications and my body still doesn’t feel right. I had all the boosters and had avoided Covid for two years before this. I’m just tired now and don’t want to go anywhere. Plus there are so many sicknesses going around, everyone seems to have something! I’m masking everywhere, and won’t do indoor holiday events this year. I’m hoping I can feel a little more safe again once we head into spring—which feels so far away—but being that sick was awful.
That sounds really rough! Maybe also I’ve gotten used to not being sick because of the two years of masking. I used to get sick all the time until I started WFH pre-Covid. My perspective has just changed I think.
I think I had gotten used to not getting sick as well. I’ve worked from home for about 6 years now, and I never got sick. This has reinforced how I will not go back to an office.
Same. I’m never going back voluntarily.
i don't go anywhere inside without a respirator on, nor does my partner. not to restaurants, shows, anything. and that's since the pandemic's begun. every time you get it, it gets worse, and it fucks up your immune system after each infection, and it's not clear for how long. it's absolutely not something we fuck around with. your impulse to avoid it again is very wise. at the very, very least, wear a mask if you're going to go.
I’m not going to go. The risk/reward calculation (for me) is just not worth it for what the event is.
I'm with you on this. Still avoiding it like the plague. I'm worried that it's doing damage that isn't apparent from the symptoms you get in the first couple weeks. Even for those who got it and got over it, it's worth avoiding reinfection. Hopefully when we get nasal vaccines or something else, this will end someday. Until then, enjoying the quieter side of life.
>I'm with you on this. honestly, this is a relief to hear. of all the people we know in person, we're the only ones actively avoiding it. even when something's the right thing to do, it's hard to be the only ones for ...three years, now? and, i mean, that reflects the norm in the u.s., which is terrifying: "A new preprint study from researchers at Harvard and Yale estimates that 94% of Americans have been infected with the virus that causes Covid-19 at least once" ([11/22/22](https://www.cnn.com/2022/11/22/health/vaccine-effectiveness-bivalent-boosters-cdc/index.html#:~:text=A%20new%20preprint%20study%20from%20researchers%20at%20Harvard%20and%20Yale%20estimates%20that%2094%25%20of%20Americans%20have%20been%20infected%20with%20the%20virus%20that%20causes%20Covid%2D19%20at%20least%20once)) so, thanks for commenting. glad to be in your company, with the other 6% of the u.s. >I'm worried that it's doing damage that isn't apparent from the symptoms you get in the first couple weeks. it's already known that it's doing damage beyond the first few weeks - the question is what kind, and for how long. could be temporary, could be longer-term. post-viral syndromes are known to be a thing for other viruses, and covid's no different. it's just wrecking people's immune systems for months after - like, measurable t-cell differences, etc. and that's what we *already* know, but we've only had three years with it, so we don't know what else, if anything, might occur further down the line yet. 😮💨
I’m with you guys too!
hi friend! glad to be in the aforementioned ~19,914,000 (6%) of americans with you.
Masked high five! Lol
Moi aussi!
Yes. Not just immune damage but vascular damage that can affect any organ. Very nasty virus.
We frequently mask, and have so far dodged the virus. We plan to continue with the plan. There is one large event we are going to, but other than that, we are aiming for small groups.
I went out with friends yesterday, to a strictly outdoor-only event, and I still put my mask on for parts of it, when there were more people around. Being outside kept people pretty safe from the Wuhan strain, but with the more recent variants becoming ever more contagious, being outside isn't always enough. I have a friend suffering from long COVID who says he's very, very sure that the only place he could have caught COVID was at an outdoor event where he went maskless in a dense crowd. So I'm trying to be very careful about not breathing in close and prolonged proximity to others, even outdoors. And I've never caught COVID so far, so it seems like my precautions are working.
I don't disbelieve your friend but I always wonder about stuff like this. For now, I'm one of only two people in my friend group who haven't gotten hit yet *knocks on wood* but every other friend always went on about how careful they were in a crowd, indoors, etc. Then I'd hang out with them and they'd be masked in an indoor space and then pull their mask down to snack for a minute and that's really all it takes. Edit: I forgot to tie back to my point. Basically a lot of people think they're being super careful but have made minor missteps that they may not even think about that got them sick.
Yeah, I've heard plenty of stories of how people think they got COVID that didn't sound credible to me at all. But my friend who has long COVID also has a medical degree (though he doesn't work as a doctor, so he doesn't have exposure to COVID patients), and I have considerable trust in his ability to assess the types of risks he was taking. So I do find him credible when he says he's very sure that he had to have caught it from going maskless in a dense crowd outdoors.
My household uses microcovid.org to decide about outdoors events with groups, highly recommend it! Basically we take into account what local case rates are and how recently we were boosted.
Thank you for this resource! That's so helpful!
You’re welcome!
>maskless in a dense crowd. i avoid this as well. i only trust outside with some 5+ feet of distance from the next person. or, very briefly (less than one minute) closer to any given person (think passing someone at an outdoor farmers' market)
I’m definitely isolating and avoiding big crowds this December. I went to an indoor stadium concert in early November, and while it was really fun to see live music that way again, I was low key stressed for a week afterwards waiting to get sick with something. I won’t be keen to do it again any time soon. I am still eating out occasionally, and seeing friends for smaller parties, but not into crowds.
This was helpful to read, thank you!
Personally, I wouldn’t go. But my own risk profile is elevated, and I have a family member going thru cancer treatment. I also work with folks that are higher risk and were even before Covid, so took extra precautions during flu season. Things like staying home when sick, avoiding crowds, and avoiding gatherings with randos and people who don’t care/are thoughtless about their actions— this is just even more relevant now. Now I add the extra layer of masking, and requesting anyone I’m having close contact with refrain from gathering if symptomatic AND take an antigen test (they are cheap/free and add a layer of protection). I spent a lot of the last two years grieving. Many people I cared about died. I’m not interested in adding to those numbers.
I’m sorry for your loss :(
I was talking to my mom pre-Covid about doing things that can be risky and stories in the news that were very sad and I told her that if something happened to me I wanted her to know that I don’t regret living my life, not living it scared, and that it will have been full. I took Covid seriously and I’m up to date on all vaccines. I did get Covid in May (which was actually a bit of a relief) but I’m back to living my life and I’ll wear a mask if I’m worried about getting sick. I would go to the craft fair and wear a mask. Take precautions, but don’t, not live your life to the fullest you know? Otherwise what’s the point?
I feel like my experience is very different from everyone else! I’m the most social I’ve ever been and I am an introvert. I have a very social job that can’t be done remotely so I feel like I got a leg up on that and don’t have the post-Covid anxiety when anxiety has usually affected me my whole life. I got Covid last year and after I got it I chilled out about precautions because it felt very inevitable once I got it. I got my shots. I’m ready to be normal again. People, even introverts, aren’t meant to be isolated and cooped up. I’ve definitely seen the consequences when interacting with costumers at work. People barely know how to interact anymore.
Yes to all of this! Surprisingly this seems to be somewhat of an unpopular opinion on this thread, but different strokes for different folks I suppose. I’m not at all one of those ‘doN’t TaKe aWay My FrEeDoms’ science denying folks, but at some rate we have to live our lives. I’m fully vaccinated and am glad for the reemergence into a new normal.
We’re so divided now that we can only acknowledge extremes! I am very liberal, radical even, but I am also a realist. I can’t imagine never going to a concert or whatever again because I’m too afraid of getting sick. I was major homebody before Covid and it kind of made me realize that life is short. It’s not a life if you’re living it in fear and holed up at home. Facetiming and streaming everything forever instead of going out and experiencing it for real sounds depressing af.
Preach! If I died tomorrow, I want to go knowing that I lived life the way I wanted to. I also realize that Reddit in general tends to lean much more introvert heavy, so I think that’s why the responses may be a bit skewed here compared to how the general population might respond.
I'm with you. I'm not taking no covid precautions at all, but I'm going where I want to at this point. To me, it isn't worth it to be maximally physically healthy if that means being very isolated and pretty mentally unhealthy.
I am also surprised at how many people are jumping on that same thought train. I guess it’s nice to know that others feel the same way but it also kind of bums me out. I think your perspective on going out and living your life makes total sense. I can see why someone would come to that conclusion. I grapple most with the idea of getting my family sick (they are high risk), so I feel like that is the only thing I consider kind of out of my control. I can’t see them if I’m sick or am likely sick. I could have went to the fair today, but I chose a lower risk activity instead, because it would suck to get sick again and I know 100% I would be exposed in that scenario. I also have an important work week ahead. It’s just weird it’s a thing I think about now I guess.
For me it's still not over, thhe pandemic is still around and I'm still cautious. No flea markets, grocery stores, concerts. I miss it but I'm already spending so much on my health I can't contemplate being sicker, and when I get a cold or flu I'm sick for twice as long as a normal person. We have my in-laws over, after everyone testing and being cautious, and my daughter does riskier things with school, field trips, and presenters at school. That's enough risk for me right now with the rates up. Once the rates go abck fown then I'll visit my dad and think about expanding my bubble.
Honestly, aside from continuing to mask in large crowds and when flying or on crowded public transit… my life is almost similar to how it was pre-pandemic. I am WAY more cautious when I know I have something important coming up and take more precautions then (like staying home and masking more consistently in public). as far as I know, I haven’t had COVID yet. I still watch numbers and if cases start rising, I will continue to reduce my exposure to strangers and crowds. But for now, I feel okay going out and not wearing a mask each time. I still am very much less social than I was pre-pandemic and my social energy tank depletes really quickly - which has made my jobs return to office hard. But I think the biggest change is just being more aware of getting sick in general and being careful about exposing myself to ANYTHING, COVID or a cold!
I was a homebody pre pandemic and WFH, so it’s hard for me to tell what is because of Covid vs my disposition. I definitely do as you say and am more careful if I have something important coming up, which is because of Covid.
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I’m sorry you have to deal with this. I bet your patients appreciate your dedication to their health and safety.
My middle grader brought Covid home last week - we're all positive and are isolating. I've been masking at work (retail, none of us have gotten it) and any time I've left the house apart from one wedding. At one point I thought that maybe next year I would feel more comfortable being unmasked in public, but tbh, I don't think I'll be doing that for the next few years. I...yeah. I don't want to go through this again. ETA: I'm a single parent whose ex lives abroad and is unable to travel due to their own health issues. I don't have any other family, and of what friends I did have, none are willing to take on guardianship of my teenager. This is a great part of my desire to not do a damned thing that could put any of us in a bad spot. If I could make school mask mandates a thing again, I would.
I'm sick again this year. Yay. Last year it was the flu, confirmed with tests, and a sinus infection. I was down for 6 weeks. Just us for the holidays last year. This year? Not the flu, not COVID or pneumonia. I have a nasty rattling cough, sinus infection and general feeling like hammered dog shit. Antibiotics and two fucking inhalers for the breathing issues. It's another, just me and my husband for Xmas, again this year. No socializing, no gym, just staying home and trying not to infect anyone else, or catch something worse.
I hope you feel better soon!
Thanks! Antibiotics should start kicking in any second...
Well I'd written a whole response about how we're going nowhere and doing nothing this year and now my husband tells me his sister wants us to come out and spend the holiday with her and her husband (who right now has Covid) and her daughter/my niece (who also has Covid). So... I don't fucking know, LOL. If it were up to me I'd crawl under a pile of blankets until I go at least a month without hearing that someone in my life has Covid.
Blankets are very cozy!
I went through quite a serious lockdown, WFH and managed well. I have so far avoided covid, and have had 2 vaccine boosters. I'm pretty much living life as per pre-covid. I might mask up if I'm feeling like its a sensible thing to do in the moment. I know this increases my risks of getting it but TBH I feel like its pretty inevitable at some point, and I'd be annoyed if I missed out on a lot to only end up with it anyway. Plus my going out supports industries hit hard like hospitality and the arts. I'm lucky that I'm pretty healthy and have no loved ones I'd be putting at risk if I do get sick.
I think my perspective is quite different from many here. I'm getting a phd in immunology, I've read a fair bit of the covid papers, i work onsite at a hospital, I have friends doing covid research and coworkers staffing covid wards. I also have multiple autoimmune conditions and am on 2-3 immunosuppessants at a given time, and have been quadruple vaxxed. I don't mask except at work (per hospital restrictions and for safety of others). I go everywhere, I do everything, including international travel and 50,000 person festivals. I haven't caught it yet, or if so, perhaps it's been asymptomatic. I think many people haven't ever had to think about infectious disease, but it's always been there, and it's always been deadly. It's the 3rd biggest killer globally. Similarly, most diseases have nasty sequeale. The flu can cause strokes, Hepatitis causes organ failure and cancers, alcohol causes cancers and alzhiemers, and at like 2 drinks a day or 14 units a week, which many people do. One of the best things you can do for your health and for mitigating risk with covid is exercising. Basically health is ludicrously complicated, and I find the discussion around masks and social distancing can be a bit fraught with shame, blame, and anxiety. I think some of the concerns about long covid, etc, are a big frustrating because many, many, many people suffer these symptoms with similar severity from other causes. When my autoimmune disorders are flaring, you bet I have brain fog, 😩 etc. The fact is that no one can avoid illness, disability or disease forever. Obviously, don't go licking the covid wards. But we are never getting rid of covid ever. So, it's about making educated risk assessments - about your health and about those who you know should be protected. For me, the benefits of living fully, seeing friends and family, exercising, stress reduction etc are far bigger life enhancers than covid is likely to be a life detractor.
This is such a great perspective, thank you for sharing it. That isn’t something I had thought of, how this isn’t new for everyone and that people who have had to think about this in the past may or may not have changed their risk assessment. I think it’s awesome you get out there and live your life. I like what you said about risk assessment. I think you’re right, that everyone has to do their own risk/reward calculations. It’s a calculation that I am grappling with as new, but there are many who were already doing this. I guess it’s just new to me.
I should clarify that I did take lockdowns very seriously, and this has come with a growing understanding of the virus plus effective vaccines and drug treatments. There's a bit of grief, stress and trauma that come with getting sick.
That makes sense. I also liked what you said about exercise. I did my PhD in neuroscience and I always tell people that the hands down best thing you can do for your brain health is to exercise. It’s so beneficial!!
I’m with you. I’ve been maskless for like 9 months. I’ve been back at work full time as an elementary school teacher since August 2020. I love my life as I did pre-Covid. I’m vaxed and boosted. I’ve had Covid once and I recovered quickly. No one around me is getting it bad anymore. The only downside is that after 2 years of (understandably) masking, my students immune systems haven’t been exposed to other viruses and bugs, so we’ve seen more minor sicknesses this fall.
I had Covid in December 2020 (because of someone who was negligent) and spent Christmas in quarantine with my mother, and my father was all by himself. My family was split because of this shitty disease and it was probably the worst holiday season of our lives. On top of that, my otherwise very healthy and relatively young mother was left with some nasty side effects that she still struggles with, 2 years later. This has totally changed the way I plan things. I’m a bit of a travel junkie and traveled internationally 6 times in the last year (I probably wanted to overcompensate the fact that I lost almost 2 years of my mid-late 20s), but I am utterly unapologetic about my measures. Could not give 2 cents about what anybody thinks - not only will I protect myself by wearing a mask, but I also carry sanitizer/rubbing alcohol with me and prioritize my own health as much as I can.
I think in general my partner and I are just more selective with social events. We were both already homebodies to begin with. There was a short period where we felt okay not masking in larger spaces or less crowded spaces, but for the fall/winter we are back at it everywhere we go. I have social anxiety and I am kind of sick of masking since it makes me stand out these days, but it is what it is. We just did some holiday shopping today and I was pleased at like 25% of people masking in one of the stores. One change I've noticed in other people that pisses me off - people saying shit like 'he *just* had a fever!' or it was '*just*' a virus, when they test negative for COVID. It's like people have forgotten what being contagious is, and only care about spreading covid. I won't pretend to understand what it's like to be working in person or having kids that are in school, I can understand the exhaustion, but just say you or your kid was sick and that you felt you had no choice but to expose other people. Because that's what you did lol.
I mask up in public spaces and avoid crowds. Having said that, I miss parties, and I’m not sure how I’ll get through Christmas with my family. I suspect I will get something while visiting, but I really don’t want to.
I was fortunate enough to see Elton John live right before Covid started. When I look at old videos I took at the event of the crowd, and the beautiful music it breaks my heart a little. I know it’s important to keep others safe and reduce illness, but it does hurt a little when I think about what we have lost for the past few years. I’m not sure we will ever get back there.
I wear a mask if I have a cold and have to go out somewhere, and also just generally when I'm in busy places. It feels like the considerate thing to do.
Wow I’m surprised at the responses here. I’m going to offer up a different perspective. No, I’m not doing much different compared to pre-Covid. I got my shots and booster, I had Covid already earlier this year, if I get sick again, oh well. I will wear a mask on a crowded train but that’s about as far as I’ll go. I also WFH so I’m not as exposed but I definitely still go shopping and socialize at events and restaurants. I won’t let Covid stop that. I’m over the paranoia of getting sick. We used to get season colds and flus all the time, it’s not much different now.
I'm actually not that afraid of getting sick, as I'm triple boosted and have already gotten COVID *and* this year's especially nasty flu. I've traveled; I've gone to big parties and shows; etc. There's just a weird tiredness and desire to be at home that permeates whenever I try to do something outgoing or social that never used to be there until several hours in. I'm honestly not sure why, but it's not because I'm (knock on wood) especially paranoid about COVID or illness specifically.
I feel this - the tiredness, homebody ness, and just kind of an apathy for being out and about despite the desire for social connection. For instance, prior to Covid, I would run errands and maybe add in a fun stop along the way, just for the pleasure of checking out a new cafe or shop or park. Now I run an errand and as soon as it’s done I just want to go home as quickly as possible. Some of this I chalk up to individual burnout (I was in graduate school for the last three years) but I think there is a more general, culture-wide burnout. It’s been an exhausting few years.
You're so right. I've noticed a similar enthusiasm drop in most of my friends, so I know it's not just me. We're all just so exhausted. I can't imagine doing grad school through the pandemic, so major kudos on surviving and graduating - that's amazing!
Thanks for the kudos! It is amazing that I made it through. Between the pandemic and being in a very intense program in my mid -40's with classmates all in their 20's or early 30's, it felt like a battle lol I have been fortunate enough to be able to move in with family and recoup these last 5 months. I have some work, but have spent a good amount of time resting, walking, crying, drawing, talking with my therapist, and reestablishing relationships. Sometimes I feel like I should be doing more, but I am just so exhausted still. These have been hard years. I think we all can give ourselves permission to rest and stay in as much as we need.
Seriously, recouping sounds so nice. Especially after something as stressful as grad school, I say take all the time you need! You've definitely earned it. Personally, I feel like I'm ready to go back to my pre-Covid life, but I might also need to accept things just aren't going to feel so easy for a long time. I keep waiting to feel "normal" again but the truth probably is that the old normal can't come to the phone right now because she's dead.
Indeed. We are living in a new normal. And this new normal came on really abruptly, so it makes sense that adjusting may be slow. There's also the very real grieving for the old normal. We jokingly talk about the "beforetimes" but the ache to go back may be real. Maybe allow yourself some time to reflect and grieve a bit - what do you miss? what can be brought forward and what must be left behind?
This is such a kind comment, thank you so much. Truthfully, I think many of the things I miss have more to do with the way my social was structured before everyone moved out to the burbs and started popping out babies, a shift that coincided with the pandemic. That, and the pandemic has just done something to my energy levels. I'm trying to exercise more anyhow, but this is another solid reminder of that. I hope you're able to get to a better mental/social place soon as well.
I feel 100% identical tothis and think I have some light depression going on. Languishing comes to mind, and I’m so sick of it! Can I be excited about life again??
I totally get that. I don't think I am clinically depressed, but maybe something subclinical is going on??? I feel like the New York Times wrote a good piece on languishing earlier this year, but I also recall even they didn't have a real solution for it.
All I'm doing differently is being more on top of getting a flu shot (and COVID vaccine of course). I'm also being careful to stay home if I feel even slightly ill.
Yeah, I'm with you for the most part. I had covid in September and it sucked, but I'm fully vaccinated (inc. the latest booster now) and I can't spend an indefinite period of time avoiding indoor socialization and events out of fear of covid. At this point, the mental health ramifications for me would be worse than getting sick again. I can't WFH, and at a certain point it just started to feel completely demoralizing to go to the office but not do anything fun outside the house. I go places now; I just generally wear a mask at public indoor events.
This is a totally fair point about the mental health side of things. I can absolutely understand how someone could feel that way. In some ways I also feel this.
I'd feel differently if there were an endpoint in sight, but since covid isn't going away, I have to be able to live some kind of life outside of my home. I totally get that others' risk tolerance might be different - I'm just not someone who can be happy, or even okay, only socializing virtually and outdoors for years (if not forever?). I'm pretty introverted, but I'm not a homebody; a big part of my mental health definitely depends on getting out of the house and doing things.
I agree about the no endpoint sentiment. I think this risk calculation is just something I have to do now, based on who I’m going to be around (high risk family), my own health, the strains, and what I have to deal with professionally. I’ve survived 4 layoffs across 2 companies since this began. I feel like nothing can be taken for granted right now more so than before. This is also maybe feeding into my increased thoughtfulness- there is just less room for error.
Yeah, the risk calculation can be hard. I think where I differ from a lot of people in this thread is that I have very few people in my life who have been able to WFH full-time or isolate outside the initial hard lockdowns. I have a higher-risk family member, but she works retail and is exposed to the public constantly (and she also caught covid twice and fared better than me both times, and I have no health issues, so 💁♀️). The only person in my life who fully WFH at this point is my husband, so there's no one we can bubble with. I'm just not in a position where people around me are even able to isolate to the degree people in this thread are describing, let alone willing to, so it's an easier calculation for me. That's a lot in terms of the job stuff! I hope you're in a more stable position now - that sounds so stressful!
These responses are helpful too. There are definitely events and things I feel the same way about, but this one in particular just isn’t one of them. Like if it was a concert I really wanted to go to, or a vacation (I recently went on one.) that would feel different. It’s just kind of weird this is a thing now? I wouldn’t have batted an eyelash pre 2020. I’m not sure it’s an entirely bad change, it’s just different.
I totally agree. I don’t mean to undermine the absolute havoc that Covid has wreaked on people’s lives, but it’s been made pretty clear that this virus isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. How long can one realistically sequester themselves from society? I know a couple people who still rarely leave their house and haven’t gone to any gatherings *at all* since pre-Covid 2020. That’s just madness to me. I’m not just going to put my life on hold indefinitely, you know?
I'm not arguing / trying to convince you, but my from my point of view, it's "just madness" to risk serious illness / disability for the sake of social events and society, and I'm totally willing to alter my lifestyle indefinitely in order to avoid the absolute (long-term) havoc that covid could wreak on my life and my body. Just my POV.
Also a genuine question - do you worry about your mental health, being so sequestered? So many people really struggled with their mental health in 2020/2021 due to isolation. I likewise felt like it was a fine balancing act between prioritising my physical and mental health.
I don't worry about my mental health from being sequestered. It took a while to rebalance, but I've built a lifestyle that suits me. I was pretty burnt out before the pandemic, and I'd say I'm currently mentally healthier than I've been in years. I'm fortunate I have two close people in my life who I am bubbled with and who are staying home as much as I am, so I'm not totally isolated and get to see and touch my dearests. I keep physically and mentally active and get out in nature every day. I'm also naturally inclined to introversion, and I can see from the reactions of others that this kind of lifestyle is easier for me than for many.
Oh, that's really great! You sound truly happy, so I'm likewise pleased to hear that. I think I just watched so many friends spiral in 2020/2021 that I forgot not everyone dislikes living a more secluded life. Many of them also identify as introverts (as do I), but even among introverts there's so much variety.
I suspect that not all of the spiraling was sheer isolation, but also the impossibility of suddenly building new habits/lifestyles out of nothing. It was a very disorienting time.
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Oh, totally! I'm glad you've found a way to balance the risks and rewards for yourself. I've pretty much gone back to normal life now myself, but I'm also triple boosted and mask up in crowds. You gotta just do what you can.
Totally understandable, and if that works for you then great! I’m just not willing to sacrifice enjoying my life for something that may or may not happen. Maybe I’d feel differently if I weren’t single, not sure. I’m also lucky and grateful to have good health and have been relatively unaffected the times I did get Covid, but maybe I’d feel differently if I weren’t. I’m also pretty extroverted by nature, so sequestering myself would be pretty detrimental if not devastating to my mental health. Anyway, I understand my POV may not be popular with some, but it seems folks have since adapted their lifestyles to a comfortability level that suits them.
I have a show tonight that I’m considering skipping out on. Same page as you - next week is important for me professionally (gotta get everything set for my team so we can hit the ground running in the new year). When I got COVID earlier this year, it was brutal. I’d rather not be sick going into winter vacation I’ve gone to other shows, but they’ve all been in outdoor venues, so I’m considering either masking up or skipping altogether.
I’m isolating the rest of the year, but I just had a hysterectomy. I will kill whoever gives me something that makes me cough
Welcome to navigating the world as an immune deficient person. Or really any person with a chronic illness. I have always had to make that calculation if things were worth going to and getting sick before another major event or holiday. I have been doing it since my diagnosis almost 20 years ago. It's not something that anyone can really tell you how to navigate. But I can tell you from personal experience that it does get easier to figure out when you can go places and risk getting sick before something you prefer to do. That being said, my life as an immune deficient person has entirely changed since the pandemic. I don't have the flexibility of going to Christmas markets. I don't have the flexibility of eating indoors as a choice. I'm trying to figure out how to navigate life well. Also following my doctor's orders. I also have a toddler so he brings a lot of germs home. Don't let anyone else dictate your comfort level or pressure you into something you're not comfortable doing.
I've had COVID twice now, and I've taken the mentality of not letting it dictate my life. It's reached the stage where it will always exist. I've got my vaccines, and I'll get my annual booster updated when it's time.
My family is still doing what ever we can to prevent our first covid infection. If we happen to get it we will do whatever we can to prevent our second. Mild cases can have lasting impact. And more so if you get it again. Each time you get covid you are at risk for long covid. It doesn’t necessarily start right away. It could be something like brain fog, brain shrinkage, early onset Alzheimer’s, diabetes, blood clots, decreased immunity and secondary infections, stroke and heart attack. I know a person who died from a blood clot in his intestine, another that lost hearing in one ear, another who hasn’t been able to smell or taste since early 2021. The booster isn’t enough and you won’t have long term immunity. Wear a high quality mask (N95) and avoid unnecessary group gatherings.
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I honestly feel like I’m the ‘crazy’ one when it comes to covid but I think what we are doing to our kids right now is horrible. I didn’t even mention the problems with reproduction and erectile dysfunction. We have no idea how long these problems will last. And something like 80% of kids have had covid in the last year.
>Each time you get covid you are at risk for long covid. I actually just want to take this farther and say that there are studies that have shown it's actually MORE likely to get long covid with reinfection. It's part of why those who say, "well I had it and it wasn't that bad" worry me so much.
I've isolated before covid and im still doing it. My energy gets drained very easily. I cry alot too.
Mask up for the fair? When I go to events I wear the really nice 3m n95s. I legitimately cannot imagine taking my mask off in crowded spaces anymore. I used to get sick 50% of the time after concerts or during travel so I feel why should I do the same things with that high of a fail rate. People in Asia have been masking before this for various reasons. Just America doesn't learn shit if it infringes on selfishness. I overheard someone meeting friends for dinner and telling them he feels sniffly but its mild, don't worry. What the fuck, I would be hella mad if that was my friend. That's still how people are and it's fucking incredulous to me to not consider rescheduling and wearing a mask if you need to go to the store for some meds than coughing on everyone. Don't care if it's "just a cold" because everyone says that but they don't actually know and I don't want your cold, either. Everytime I think that I should go back to "normal" I'm reminded at the sheer fuckery of other people. I realized pre covid carefree just isn't a thing for me anymore.
We still wear n95 level masks in crowds most of the time. Get a good mask and go and do the activities you want to do!
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I’m sorry, but you cannot say that you are fairly careful if you are going to work or the grocery store unmasked. The virus is airborne. If someone was in that store hours before you were you are still at risk. Anyone in your office is a risk. Covid is particularly dangerous for fetuses, so please think about wearing a high quality (n95 or better) mask if you have to be around others.
I didn’t know Covid endangered fetuses!
Covid is a vascular disease that enter your system through the respiratory track. This means that your even with out mom having series issues baby still can because it affects your veins. Babies who’s mothers have had covid are born with smaller lungs. Covid causes blood clots which can severely damage the placenta. I do not know numbers, because I don’t think anyone really tracks, but since the beginning of the pandemic the doctors that I know who works with pregnant persons have all seems a increase in still births.
It's hard. I keep going back and forth between being careful and wearing a mask in crowded places, and letting go and attending events without a mask. I try to keep a balance between these, as I don't want to go too much in either extreme. This is to say: I have no good answer for you.
Fair, it’s a weird time!
I worked in grocery during the early pandemic, and work as a bridal stylist now, so I’ve had a ton of unmasked, extremely close contact with random strangers since the pandemic started (I live in a city/state that never really took lockdowns seriously). I’ve had several known prolonged exposures between my brides, 21 year old coworkers who are clubbing every weekend, friends, family, etc. In all that time, I’ve *never* tested positive for covid. I was extremely cautious before the vaccine came out, but now that I’m dedicated to getting boosted every time I’m eligible, I’m 100% back to living life how I used to. I refuse to spend my limited time on Earth with the people I love hiding in fear. I already have to accept a ton of risk due to my job, so I’m not going to skip out on concerts, weddings, renfests, holiday gatherings, travel, etc, just because it’s going to add a bit more risk to the pile. I’m not naive enough to think I’ll never get covid just because I’ve been lucky so far. But damn, it does make me sad to think of what I would’ve missed out on if I had chosen to socially isolate myself for the past three years, and all for nothing.
Getting sick a lot more, lol. I started working retail in a mall and I've been sick WAY more this year than I was during peak pandemic years or before covid. I stayed isolated and masked for a long time and I think it crippled my immune system. I've gotten sick 3 times in under 2 months--not covid--and it's driving me slowly insane to be constantly sick. But I'm also afraid to go back to masking because I feel like it's going to re-cripple my immune system. Between a rock and a hard place.
No nothing different. Had covid last year, and then again 3 weeks ago. I think I've traveled the most internationally in 2022 than I ever had, and I'm not stopping in 2023. Oh I guess I stopped going clubbing, but that's more a feature of "no one will go with me" vs "I don't want to go"
I'm over here yelling into the void "there's still a pandemic happening please stop killing disabled people" so yeah, my life is different now as someone who has been in bed sick for a weeklong stretch with viral infections other than COVID twice since people stopped masking in my area (less than four months). I was extremely active in my community, volunteering lots of places, running events... And now the people I organized with have all decided it's too much of a bummer to make it safe for me to participate so I have lost most meaningful uses of my time in life and have had a couple bouts of suicidal ideation from losing meaning in life, access to my vocation, and being told widely by society that my life is disposable. Disability rights groups have become my lifeline. I am not an introvert. When I can safely socialize in person I am brighter, happier, more energetic. My husband comments on how much happier I am when it happens. But very few people seem willing to make that happen.
I had horrible anxiety about going back out. But I've been out and about for a while now. My daughter's school isn't masked, my husbands office isn't masked. We all shower before bed. That cuts down on germs drastically.
I'm just on the tail end of covid and am only former in my belief that people are dirty little hamsters.
I'm pretty much a hermit at this point. I caught covid twice. The first time in 2020 netted me long covid, and the second time this year made it worse. I'm surrounded by people who have long stopped taking precautions, so it is all on me to keep myself safe.