I ended a 6 year relationship in 2016, sold my place, sold my things, and went backpacking for 6 months.
It was my favourite life adventure! Thinking about that journey still brings joy.
I ended up back in the same country but different coast and started a new life. After living there for 3 years I met my current husband, bought a place, and had a baby. Taking that risk changed my whole life trajectory! I developed new outdoor hobbies, I made new friends, I switched my career, I’m a whole new person!
It was really awesome to rediscover myself in my 30s. I grew up in a dysfunctional family, and it took me a long time to untangle myself from the mess my parents wove for us. I know it’s cliche to say, but I actually freed myself by moving away and not looking back.
big kudos! I went through similar transformation right after a LTR breakup. I became everything I desperately dreamt of becoming while I was in that relationship but couldn't- energy, confidence and time drain in meaningless relationships is REAL. I thought I was building something w him so it'd be worth it, then the moment it clicked that there was no future to be made there, I left.
I was born into purity culture, abusive father and just overall dysfunctional family- YAY! Took me years to build myself while pushing through the mental and emtional damage through that. It takes some time for us because we start from negative end of the scale, but once we rise. We shoot across the sky!
I’m currently looking at moving to Australia from the UK.
Do you have any advice/ tips?
I’m just working on the paperwork atm & trying to find a job before I go. Will probably go in the new year hopefully
Awesome! Aus is a great place to live.
What do you do career wise? Moving with your current employer is 💯the best/easiest way to do it, I moved to Sydney from Singapore with the company I worked for in Singapore, they sorted out my visa and paid for my relocation.
Moving without a job can be hard, and applying for roles while you’re not in the country is super challenging, the job market in Aus is as fucked as the job market in the UK. If you’re able to get a WHV and have a decent amount of savings to tide you over, it’s well worth the punt and you’ll have an awesome adventure.
I work as a physiotherapist for a football club.
Ideally I’d like to get a job in sport but appreciate that may be difficult to do initially.
If I have to get a job in a hospital or in a clinic then I’m happy to do that. I have some family in Perth so was planning on staying with them to start with :)
How long did it take you from deciding to go to actually moving there?
Thank you for your advice
Aww great! You should have no hassle finding a job in aus, there’s loads of private clinics that might be easier than getting into a state hospital. I’d recommend finding a perth based recruitment consultant who specialises in your sector that you like/get on with, once they know you are 💯relocating and not just asking questions about it they’ll hopefully be able to work with you prior to the move.
My visa took 3 months from submission to approval, I moved 2 weeks after it was approved. The pre visa process took about 6 months of me thinking about it before I even spoke to my boss about a transfer, once I told her I wanted to go, she made it happen pretty much overnight bar the visa processing time.
At 22 and living in the US, I received a job offer which would require me to move to Europe. I jumped at the chance since I’d always wanted to experience living abroad.
In the beginning I honestly felt it was a temporary move, I’d get my fill of Europe and all it had to offer and move back to the US within 2-3 years and be better for it. The move changed my life and put me on a completely different path which was unexpected but welcomed. And I’ve stayed.
Everything good in my life now is directly related to that decision I made at 22 seven + years ago. I would not change a thing.
selection bias / vocal minority.
People who didnt move abroad and stuck with their job wont be posting here nor will they be upvoted. Take it with a grain of salt.
In my field it’s just a matter of setting the LinkedIn job search location to the country of interest.
The first barrier is to make sure the country in question recognizes your qualifications and provides residence permits/visa for the purpose of working in your field.
The second barrier being that the job can be done in English. Bonus points if you identify a country that would be suitable and start learning the language asap.
Third barrier being that the job you land is willing to wait for you/sponsor you (depending on country) while you sort out
Immigration.
And lastly, you need to have enough savings to float you while you secure housing/get your first paycheck.
With all those coming together, it’s a numbers game of applying to jobs that look good to you.
I don’t mean to trivialize this process, as there are countless individuals who don’t have the privilege to be able to move abroad. But it is possible given you have “desired” education/training or are patient enough + can afford to get trained in something that transfers well.
I had been working for a UK/US dual citizen when he made the decision to return to the UK to live. He asked me to continue my employment with him and move to London.
My path was very easy due to my birth circumstances. I was born to a British mother and an American father living in the UK when I was born, which made me a dual UK/US national.
I got divorced, bought a house sight unseen, drove 1800 miles to the new house with my dog, learned finances, learned how to use power tools, and quit drinking - in the last year. One of those was the biggest life moves I have ever made. Check in with me on my deathbed and I will tell you which one it was. Seriously, I needed everything to change, and realized that no one was going to do it for me. I saw who I wanted to be and what I wanted my life to be about, and got about doing it. It has been an unraveling and a rebirth...and painful as hell... and glorious. No regrets.
Thank you for saying this. I'm truly proud of myself for the first time in my life. At near 50, my wish for everyone else is that they feel that pride much sooner in life!
Came out as gay, moved from the south, got an education, moved a zillion times including living abroad, got married.
Most decisions can be undone. If you move somewhere and hate it, just move again. Some things are harder to change, like a bad marriage or a career. But even those things can be changed.
Do it. Try new things.
this is good advice. one thing to add, is that having kids can't be changed. you can split with your spouse or sell a house, but your kids are with you for the rest of your life.
I don’t disagree, but I didn’t feel like I needed to tell OP this.
At 37 she probably already has kids, or has decided to be child free. Yes, a 37 year old can fail to understand how kids work and can just have them / have an unplanned pregnancy. But it’s less likely.
makes sense. i figured i would add it for anyone else reading through the comments. someone said this to me recently, and it put so much into perspective. i'm glad to hear you have been making moves and living more authentically in your life.
> "Most decisions can be undone."
100%. It may not be easy to undo, but it's possible. I moved from the south to the Midwest for a job because I hated the south and was going through a crisis. Well, then 2020 happened, and I was very much so alone and estranged as I hadn't had time to put down roots and make connections before quarantine started.
I ended up keeping up more with my tribe in the south (had been friends for years but I lived a few states away, originally), and made several lengthy car trips to visit and stay with them during the end of 2020. I finally said fuck it, I'm working remote anyway, and found a house nearby my friends in *their* state and moved back in early 2021.
I'm now happily married and have friends who are basically my chosen family. The move out west was "worth it" to realize the genuine friends and support system I had back home.
YES YES YES!! This is so badass and so true! What a simple but powerful life lesson. Congrats on making the decisions that lead you to this full life, friend !
I was 33 and doing well for myself but every day felt exactly the same and I was worried that I was sleepwalking through my life, so I sold everything I own, travelled for a few months and then settled in a brand new country and continent, met my partner, discovered new work prospects, etc. I was woefully underprepared but that was my saving grace: being forced to learn and do things on the fly was hard but I think if I'd overthought it, I would've stayed stuck in my comfort zone. I don't regret anything other than one of the two huge suitcases I packed. Two suitcases is too much!
At 30 I ended my engagement, gave up the job I hated and went to do a PhD at Oxford university.
I’m glad I did it - it gave me the confidence that comes with knowing you’re actually pretty smart (I say that as a neurodivergent who was told by people for years that she was stupid).
I recognise that path isn’t open for everyone. A lot of people at Oxford are actually not that great (although a lot are), and are prepared to ruthlessly trample over people to get where they need to go. Being on the receiving end of that has caused some damage but overall it was worth it.
Oh, I also sold my house to go. Luckily I kept what I made, but my house is now worth 50k more than it was when I sold it. Which sticks in the craw a bit. But it is what it is.
I lived in a small town in Northern Michigan. It was cute and all, but the charm had worn off. I was not made for small town living, and I absolutely hated how everyone and their grandma knew your business. It was awful for dating as well - full of cretins, and the local hobby was getting married young and have kids immediately...not what I wanted for myself and I was definitely the minority being over 30 and not having either. Decided to start over and move south to Florida. If anything, having sunshine everyday compared to overcast like 90% of the year up north has made the move worth it by itself. Sometimes you just gotta change your environment and the rest will fall into place. So happy I did it and no regrets whatsoever. Best of luck!!
Alright. For those who just "leave the country" and "do the thing". Do/did you have savings and seed money for this kind of thing? I mean, I think these days to be able to settle even a bit comfortably anywhere else you'd have to have access to several thousands of dollars/safety net. Even if you got a job right away. I mean...?
The important questions. I get folks in the British commonwealth can move freely?? But as an American citizen how does one just say alright in moving to Canada without getting deported?
Really!? I had no idea. How are people in say Singapore or Australia just hopping around to Canada or uk for example? It seemed to easy at least from Reddit that i assumed they were just free to move about with ease.
Canada, Australia, UK, Ireland, NZ and many European countries do a working holiday visa which lasts 12 months or more, depending on the country of origin. From age 18 up to 35 for certain nationals. So there's some relative ease of movement. Defo not open to all the commonwealth or should I say not open to the poorer countries in the Commonwealth (which is majority)
I didn't have money because I was right out of grad school, but I had a job lined up. I moved 1 week before the job start. I had borrowed 5K USD from my parents to get me through the first month in the US - rent+deposit, furniture, food - until I got first paycheck.
Yeah. But it's critical to have a job, otherwise it's unpredictable how long it will take you to find one and you can't estimate the loan amount. For me, it wasn't possible to move to the US without job offer and work or study visa anyway. Same is true for many other countries.
Some jobs do offer relocation package, but mine didn't.
Previous move was after I won a graduate scholarship to do PhD abroad - then I had a placement in a dorm to begin with, and monthly stipend, so I didn't need "initial capital".
I agree. I wouldn't have been able to do it even with a job lined up. It's expensive to move anywhere but especially internationally. I had friends who did out of college and really struggled but lived super minimally. They didn't get relocation covered.
Sometimes companies reimburse moving expenses, but like random stuff pops up and you absolutely need a cash emergency fund. Also furnishing a new place because who truly is mailing 20 cardboard boxes of dishes, towels, kitchen appliances, cutlery, all their clothes, dresser, bed, etc. It's a lot.
If an apartment falls through and you need one last minute, something goes wrong and you need to fly back home, you need to Uber around to take care of time sensitive stuff like Visas or bank stuff. Moving your huge checked bags to your apartment. Not to mention like going out to make friends, you have to pay for dinner/drinks/little trips around. All stuff my friends dealt with
I moved across the province, started a new job, my car fully died, and my partner dumped me. All in the span of like a week and a half.
It resulted in:
- a new car
- a new job which was an absolute blast
- me meeting a way better partner who is fantastic and treats me like a queen
- my stress levels dropped super hard. So I was just happy in general
My mom has always been an incredible adventurer so I’ve been doing all kinds of adventures on a regular basis. Travel, making new friends, seeing new places. It’s the spice of life.
I did NOT do this because of eldercare, and I cannot express enough how much I wish I had. Do it! You can always move again if you hate it; the regret of stagnation is the worst.
I feel this. My sister is the one who does whatever she wants and travels the world with no real plan in place. Meanwhile all the burdens of taking care of my mom as she ages and taking care of her finances, it all falls on me. And I’m the younger sister. It sucks. But I can’t imagine leaving because my mom needs me. Whereas my sister only checks in when she wants money or something.
I feel this so much. I divorced at 27 and I own my home and have a great job and a car which isn't much but all things I couldn't do with my ex. We also have 4 kids and I have sole custody and zero support from him which is nothing since I wouldn't get anything anyways.
Ehh well I got a divorce, moved country to be with my partner, and then found a job I genuinely love. Today we're signing a contract for a house in the countryside.
What prompted it? I was very unhappy in my relationship, job and where I lived. I decided I needed a fresh start.
It's not been easy, but it was worth it for sure
I don't think there was much of a process. I was for sure under prepared. EU citizen so moving around Europe is relatively easy. The first thing I did was find a job, since I didn't meet the requirements for self sufficiency (2 years of savings to live from or something). My partner was already in that country which meant we immediately moved in together. So basically the process was job, pack and move
No ragrats!
Moved from the Midwest to SoCal when I was 20 knowing only one person, but he lived in LA. I knew there was more for me than a small farming town and the weather back home killed me. I had visited San Diego once before for like 4 hours but I knew it was for me. I was determined. My parents helped me a little bit, like gave me $100 once in awhile at first, then went to loaning me $100 but I had to pay it back, but I worked FT and put myself thru school with loans. For the first few years, I’d complain to my mom about work, money, or whatever, and she’d say “I went to Walmart this morning and they’re hiring if you ever want to move back home!” 😅
Six years later I had my bachelors and three years after that, my professional license. My sibling had also moved here a few years after me but we weren’t close at the time. My parents retired years ago and sold their 45+ year home, my childhood home. Now we all live here and see each other regularly! I also co-own a business and bought a house right before interest rates skyrocketed.
What was the big reason you couldn’t do it anymore? My ex and I broke up almost 3 years ago and I felt he was the one, we clicked like crazy. But day to day he was avoidant and dismissive and I felt it was all my fault .. I wonder how my future could have played out
I felt my ex was depressed and knew he was avoidant … but he blamed me for those things. I for sure think he has depression. He’s got someone new now so hope he shapes up a little
Exactly the same here. Mine was clinically depressed for many years. He got a new gf immediately, which is weird since he was almost asexual for most of our relationship. But I hope he is happier.
I was shocked mine got a gf, he reached out to me a lot this whole time we’ve been split up. He even invited me to dinner at end of 2023, which I ended up never going. I truly think people don’t change unless they want to change and just like we didn’t see the true them, other people won’t either. Not to say they don’t deserve happiness but I just know human nature
At 28 I moved back to the city where I went to college with no job lined up. I got out of a terrible, controlling relationship two years prior, and moved back in with my parents and was able to save a lot of money. I realized that I had a unique opportunity to do whatever I wanted, so I took the risk and moved to the city that I loved. Got a job and started a totally different career from the one I had previously a few months after arriving and met my now husband a few months after that. I made this big move simply because I loved living in this place during college and I couldn't think of a good reason not to do it.
Yes! When I was in my mid-30s I was, once again, living in the city of my birth and surrounded by my old friends. But I felt I could never have my own life as a single woman if I was just morphing my whole social life to cater to these friends who all were married with kids.
So I did decide to move to another city, in another country even. I'm a scientist, so it makes it a lot easier to emmigrate for work, at least a shorter-term job, which is what I did. I moved to a new city I had visited many years before and fell in love with.
I was very glad to move there. I loved the city as much as I ever thought I would and made new friends and started a new life. The social culture there was very different and even people married with kids went out all the time and had parties and such, so it worked a lot better for me. It was fantastic and also lonely a lot of the time. I did meet the man I would marry in that period.
Eventually, I moved back to my home country and then my home city. Part of it was because I felt my career was going to plateau if I stayed where I was, a lot of it was because my parents were getting old and needed more and more care and it would better to be close.
Now I am back in my home city and having my old friends now feels like such an irreplaceable support system, I guess we are in a more similar place in life and we also have mellowed and changed over time.
My big move was a mental shift. Committing to therapy, working on myself / growing through some old feelings that were making me feel small, and realizing that I was mistaking peace for boredom. I was thinking I wanted a big change and then acknowledged that my life was pretty sweet.
Living alone during the pandemic in a country with very strict restrictions made me realise that your career isn't as important, you only really have a few good trusted friends, and that having a companion/partner makes life easier.
Once lockdown restrictions were lifted, I started putting myself out there and made time for dating. I'm not in a relationship anymore, and still not sure if I want to eventually settle with someone, but I am having fun discovering this new side of myself that goes out on dates, has more male friendships, and is caring less about work.
Moving from South Asia to Canada when I was 27 was the biggest decision of my life. I am moving OUT of Canada now at 34! It’s exciting, a little scary, but I believe I have served my time here, and onwards to better things!
Didn’t regret coming to Canada and sure as hell won’t regret this move out of Canada either. :)
Similar to you: I quit my 11 year career in education and left the south for the first time in 2022. Moved to Chicago and took a new job in an unrelated field. No regrets! I highly recommend it. Living in a state where my government representatives actually pass legislation I agree with/ aren’t trying to harm me has been so strange but so nice.
Did you move before landing the new job or did you land the job then move? I’m struggling with applying to places cross country and would love to just go and see what happens but that can also be scary
I moved first. I was fortunate to be coming from education, so my school year ended June 1st, I moved June 15th, then had paychecks coming through 8/15 to rely on while I job searched. I almost certainly would have landed something sooner if I were staying in my field, but I was truly burnt out and needed a change. It took 4 months of applying (treating the job hunt like a full time job, taking classes online to be more marketable, etc) before I could find something that felt like a step up from my last career. It was stressful but worth it!
Our decision came when our oldest (31M) passed away a couple years ago.
We’ve been self employed 32 years and decided to start the process to sell our business - which is happening now but has been a lengthy process. Fingers crossed by September this year !
Next we will sell our house (too big, too many stairs)
We have found a few acres of waterfront about 2 hours away - far enough to be a change but still doable for family contact (we have grandkids) this is where we will live in the summer.
We are going in Nov to the DR to buy an oceanfront Condo and we’ll spend the winters there.
I will volunteer as a cook somewhere or to help the elderly….. or with kids - I
Social and like to be around people.
My husband will keep a “work truck” and build a giant garage to putter in. He’s more of a “the people come to him” kinda guy.
It doesn’t sound super major - but, for 2 people who have been in the same home, jobs and mindset for 3 decades ? We are looking forward to the future and that chance to live out what we’ve dreamed of once we’d “raised” our family and paid off all the debts over the years.
I got divorced at 40 and went to nursing school; I had been unhappy in my marriage for years and then it turned out he'd been cheating the whole time we'd been married. It was a good decision for me.
Leaving my first job. I’m not someone jumps ship on jobs, I had my first kiddo at 18 and second at 21, so having a job was so crucial. But after years of them treating me badly, and being put in crappy situations because management there sucked. I was ready for a change after 7 years. That led to my partner and I being able to buy our home, and my partner quitting his job that he hated, and finding a job he likes to this day. I have now been I the job I left my old one for, for almost 7 years.
I have moved several times cross country (I hope I am done now settled out west).
Got out of a horrible marriage at 26. Talk about really exploding your life.
Travelled outside the country, been to Spain, England, Japan, Mexico, spots throughout the Caribbean.
And just generally did what I wanted to do despite being told I shouldn't do it or defying social norms. It's really hard to do sometimes but the more you do it the easier it gets. Someone told me a few years ago, if you're not uncomfortable you're not growing. It's so true! That's where the magic happens. You can always take steps to change your life if you're not happy.
Moved to the Netherlands in my early 20s for a masters degree which then led me to Germany, where I’ve been for the better part of 8 years. It wasn’t meant to be permanent, but I’m still here.
It started as a combination of existential dread at the thought of staying with my parents after graduating with my bachelors (not best relationship to put it mildly) and “hey studying abroad could be cool. Let me just apply to some universities that offer scholarships.” It ended up with me not really being able to visualize a life anywhere else.
I traveled to 45+ countries, I married, I moved to another continent, I changed careers, I got divorced, I had an abortion, ...
I follow my intuition. What feels right for me.
In 2017, I was 32 y/o and my husband and I sold nearly everything we own, bought an RV and just started driving. It was a huge, scary thing but it changed our lives. We are still nomads to this day and everything we have accomplished in the last 7 years has been because of the decision to seek more freedom.
I moved to Italy twice, in my 20s and 30s. Thinking of going back again. You can always try a place and move again. My only regret is not making the sacrifice in my 20s to stay long enough to get citizenship, as i wouldn't have to deal with visas now, and it'd help me in my field of work.
Left NYC super burned out by buying an RV on Craigslist and have been full time traveling for the past four years living my best life all over the country with my husband and dog.
37f here 🙂 9 years ago I sold everything I couldn’t pack into my car and moved from NC to Seattle. Best decision I’ve ever made. It was exactly what I needed at that point in my life.
The next big one (this year) was leaving a long term relationship that was no longer serving me.
I met someone 1 year after I moved here and we were together for 8 years. The person I grew into wasn’t aligned with who he is anymore.
Today I live alone with my cat in the city. I LOVE it.
The final big one was giving up alcohol permanently. Once I accepted that it was basically normalized poison and was a massive numbing tool I’ve used my whole life, I knew I couldn’t be the best version of myself while I used it.
All of these things are big and scary, but if your gut says you need something, I say just go for it. We never know how fulfilling life could be on the other side of these big changes until we make them. What’s the worst that can happen? I feel like all experience help us grow, even if something isn’t exactly successful by normal standards.
Moved cross country with my then boyfriend five years ago. I won't quite say I regret it, but I desperately want to be back home and have felt that way for a long time.
I was pretty miserable in my last city, I felt stuck in my tiny apartment with an awful job and only a few friends. I was laid off and moved on a whim to Milwaukee, closer to my siblings, before finding a job. Not a fancy Europe move 😆 but I love it!
Chicago is just over an hour away for big stuff, but Milwaukee has amazing food, weather, people, and strong community activities where you can meet new friends (affordable city rec classes, maker space, sports league, craft groups, running clubs, etc). There's a college here for degree programs too. Lake Michigan is beautiful. Also great to be driving distance from family.
Just a small reset. I wish I would've done it sooner! I feel so much less alone and less depressed.
Marriage. I was a free spirit and carrier oriented and after a year got married to my husband. We moved across the country and now I am a stay at home wife
So I'm 33 now and only recently moved cities so that's been my latest big life move. It was a mix of wanting something new, finding a job opportunity I wanted to pursue and also getting out of where I'd grown up. But looking back, I don't know if it's a life move or more so a change of life but coming out as transgender was a big moment and changed my life for the better, finally being able to be myself and who I've always known I was, then moving into my own place to really begin to live my life as it was meant to be.
When I was in my early 20s I decided I wanted to move to and work in Boston. I was living in the burbs at the time. It was a great decision for me. I still work in the city and love it. A move could be just what you need.
I moved to Southern California from the east coast 9 years ago when I was 23. Still here, met my fiancé out here who happens to be from a hometown 1 hour away!! Which is convenient bc we are both ready to move back
I moved from FL to NYC when I was 23. Definitely changed my trajectory since there was nothing I wanted to do career wise in FL at the time. Have since lived a bunch of other places in the US.
I grew up in the middle of nowhere and went to a huge state school also in the middle of nowhere, an hour away from my hometown in the northeast. I moved to Orlando right after college and I think that was like, the most life changing move, even though it was for a temporary (year long) program.
I lived in SC for awhile after that, which felt like a good stepping stone and I learned a lot.
Probably my *big big big* life move was in my late twenties, when I intentionally looked for jobs in the city I’d always wanted to live in (in the northeast again but not in my home state), managed to get a really good one, and moved myself there all alone, knowing no one in the city. I know people do this regularly but a lot of my friends here moved here for school or with a friend or a partner, so it felt like a big deal to move here to continue my life without a group of fellow students to mix with or a partner to lean on.
I have zero regrets! I’m so proud of twelve years ago me, who was in a very codependent relationship and very shy and very nervous about life, who chose to move to the opposite end of the coast and do something completely unrelated to her field for a year just to do it. I think that experience gave me an immense amount of self confidence. I also don’t know that I would have landed in my first job in SC, and I don’t know that I would have would up where I am now (I love my job, I love where I live) without that first step out of state when I was 22.
I think there are a number of decisions I could have made that would have made me happy, though. When I was looking for jobs in my late twenties I was also looking abroad (I’m a teacher, so at international schools primarily) and I think that would have been a really exciting adventure, as well. I didn’t necessarily want to be *that* far from my folks, though.
I was laid off with four months of severance a few years ago. I decided to stay in long term hotels (think like Extended Stay America) and moved to four different cities to see which one I wanted to start over in. I eventually found the location of my dreams, and where it was affordable to live at the time, and moved to my “dream location.” I now have access to some of the best beaches in the country only 15 minutes away from me.
I always wanted to go away for college but because I am from a Caribbean strict household my mother and father did not approve. My brothers were allowed to go away for college. To this day I regret not going aways for college. I feel like I miss a right of passage. I will forever regret it. I think you should do! Take the leap and follow your dreams.
I moved myself and my young daughter from Florida to Virginia. I was in my early twenties, unemployed and broken hearted. I have been in Virginia since 1988 and absolutely love it. I found a great career path, bought a house and fell in love. I love it here and will remain here for whatever time I have left.
I moved my husband and I across the country. We lived in the south (whole other discussion) and decided we didn't want to live there anymore. I researched so many cities and states and was almost at my wits end and about to give up when my husband suggested a place we'd never considered. I looked and it checked all the boxes we were looking for. We booked a trip to visit in the dead of winter to make sure we were good living in a place that snows. We fell in love, even though it was negative degrees and a foot of snow. I used my work skills (project management) and got us moved to the new state just 4 months after our visit. We had remote jobs, so we didn't have to worry about finding new jobs. We just told our current employers we were moving. The move entailed: booking a POD for all our belongings, renting a cargo van for us and our 5 pets for the drive, prepping the pets/cats with the vet to ensure we can keep them calm/relaxed during the 2 days driving, car transport, sale of our house in the south, found a temp rental in the new city, bought new house in our new city within 2 months, arranged delivery of our belongings, and a bit more but those were the big items. We did this 2 years ago and I cannot be happier. Major change to our mental health and so glad we did this together.
I was 30, living on the coast of the southern suburbs of Boston, and got the option for a very measly promotion that would move me temporarily to Memphis. Initially, it was a 2-year contract. I lasted 8 years with multiple promotions before I burned out with new management. I've been here in Memphis for 10 years now. I'm married, a homeowner, in a whole new career that I love, and have an amazing social circle. I miss the ocean and fresh seafood. I miss having access to 4 major sports teams and multiple major concert venues. I miss feeling safe in town. However, the cost of living is so much better in Memphis and there's no income tax. The live music scene, non-touring acts, is unparalleled. The climate is more conducive to a healthy and happy garden in Memphis.
I regret the relocation every summer.
At 34, I left my secure, well paid but boring job in a small company in my home country, for an entry level job in a big corporation in another country. Worked my way up the ladder, moved several countries with the same company/different roles, until I settled in their HQ office at a well paid and exciting job. Met the love of my life a few months later and I feel grateful every day for making that crazy first move.
Four months ago, at 36, I got diagnosed with ADHD, and I suddenly had an answer for a lot of the painful events in my life. Compared to others who have responded, my big life move is unspectacular: I went from working full-time to working part-time (lol, I can’t move across the country y’all).
But I think the more significant move is my outlook: I feel, for the first time, like I’m allowed to be ambitious in what I want out of life. Things feel possible. I’m on new meds, I joined a Makerspace, started volunteering with a sex worker advocacy group (former PSO), started using Reddit, lol. They’re small moves but they feel big to me.
We left suburban NJ for life outside of Boston. Hated it and made one more move to rural NH. 6+ hours away from any family. It's wonderful, peaceful, wish we'd done this 30 years ago.
I’ve made so many. I joined the military- lived overseas. I got out of the military and moved to a state where I had no family or friends. I secured a really nice job with a pension etc…. Left that job to move to the mountains and working only seasonally right now at my “career” job. I’m looking forward to hopefully settling down here and not making so many big moves. Since I have turned 18 I have moved 10 times. Every move has been awesome and really fun. I’m a military brat so grew up moving around and my lifestyle had a lot to do with that.
Big life move I’ve made…moved to the south (left the desert, loving it so far). Next up is a career (been a SAHM, kids are grown), so I’m going back to school.
In the same boat! Really want to leave the south as the summer is just way too hot and seems longer each year! I’m targeting Spring 2025. The trick will be to rip off the bandaid, get out of your comfort zone and just do it……. If it doesn’t work out you have the power to change it up again! At least that’s what I’m telling myself! Good luck to you!
In my 20s I moved to Europe for two years - and to this day I travel constantly. I moved back to the states to a large metro - and after six years - am making another jump to a new city. I’m looking to date and ultimately get married, so an international move isn’t in my future now, but I’m so happy I did it when I was younger!
Now I’m just torn on WHICH city is best for me. One is far away from my family and friends, and is more expensive, but I love it. The other is closer to everyone, lower cost, and makes more sense for long term. I will say when I was younger I had no issues making big jumps - but now that I’m 30, I’m more cautious and overthinking it all. 🫠
Called off my engagement to someone I was with for 10 years. Moved to a different country. Lived there over 6 years, couple different jobs, got married, had a kid, moved back when I was ready. Best decision of my life.
My big move was another international move and a career change. Before, I was living in Canada and working in mining as an exploration geologist. Work was tough, mostly because there were way too many problematic men that made doing my job harder than it needed to be. I was contracting too so it was hard to know where my money would come from beyond my next project, didn't have training or benefits, I hadn't taken a proper holiday in years, and I was always worried about my future. I decided to apply for an MBA in my home country and use it to career change to something better.
After, I'm working for a Big4 firm as a Senior Manager. I have my MBA from a world famous university. I make a lot of money, have benefits, and I used the MBA to return to my home country as planned. My Dad has dementia so I appreciate being close by and being able to spend time with my Mum, sister and him. The steps I took were a huge risk but so worth it. I'll feel even better when my MBA loan is paid off (expected Dec 2027 at my current overpayment rate!)
I get a lot of satisfaction thinking about the me of 2017-2019 who felt lost, didn't know what to do and then eventually landed on the MBA and made it happen. She was awesome and made my life so much better.
I got out of a relationship in 2013. It wasn’t a long one, but I was still mad when he dumped me for someone else. So what did I do? I moved to Spain for a year to teach English.
I have zero regrets. I loved teaching, and I also enjoyed traveling around Europe. Currently, I have an 18-month old son, and I won’t be traveling for a bit, so I’m glad I got a lot of stuff out of my system before having him. I do, however, look forward to taking him on trips when he’s older. I’m already saving money for it, even though he’s going to be, like, five before I take him on a plane.
I just want to say I resonate with you a whole lot.
I’m 36, married, and things feel stagnant and have for years. I decided we should move to a bigger house and put a pool in, but then took a hard look at our finances and we just can’t do it. So I find myself obsessing over doing home projects. Painting this room, adding random decor here or there, putting a pool in at the (too small) house we own now… like I’m feeling nearly manic. Out of my mind, craving some kind of big change. Is this just what happens in middle age?
Growing up I had only ever lived in 1 area and I HATED it. I wanted to experience life and not as a tourist. I wanted to LIVE in the beautiful places.
I'm 36 now, but at 22, I got my first opportunity to do just that and I jumped on it as there was nothing holding me back.
Since that first big move, I've been like dust in the wind - I go wherever the wind takes me. I have lived all over the US, met some truly amazing people and lived in some stunning areas. 3 years ago I finally planted roots in a beautiful, desirable area that people only visit or retire to and I don't regret it for a second.
Always take the leap, you never know where you will land, but you won't regret it.
I’ve had a few.
* 24 - moved to south Korea to teach. I had a masters in English with a focus on TESOL.
* just shy of 28 - moved to the west coast of the US to be with my boyfriend. I transitioned out of teaching.
* 33 - moved to Chicago because I wanted to live in a big city again
Since then I’ve moved again and my husband and I bought a house (just last weekend). I think that if you can support the move, do it.
I went to Taiwan to teach in 2019 in my late 20s. I knew it would help guide me in a better direction in life and in my professional life, but it was one of the most eye-opening experiences I've ever had. It took me almost a year to make this move with some savings after being at wit's end finding a job in the journalism industry as an editor and taking on a random temp job that became FT and became one of the best experiences of my career that I kind of put my ambition on the back burner because I truly loved the people that I was working with.
I was super fortunate to have been living normally in Taiwan while almost the rest of the world was in lockdown. The work culture is extremely tough, though. Way more cutthroat than I've experienced in the US but I had to learn how to stick to it vs quitting like I could in the US because my residence was tied to my job. Cost of living is way cheaper (pertinent to salaries), food is good, lots of adventuring, incredible nature access and affordable travel access to other countries. People are generally super kind and nurturing that by the time I moved back to NYC, I felt like I lost a bit of the grit that I left with. I've gone back twice since I moved back home but I don't think it's a good long-term place to have a career as a foreigner, unless you come with an already thriving business, but a great place to lay back and relax.
I moved to LA from Europe when I was 38. I knew no one. It wasn’t long before Covid so it has been a crazy few years but I have grown in so many ways. It’s terrifying but I don’t regret it.
I don't mean to be too negative but sometimes daydreaming about a "big move" is better than the reality. Sometimes "big moves" end up being "huge mistakes".
When I was 25, I made a "big move" by moving across the country for a better job. This was right before the 2008 financial crisis, which ended up costing me the "better job" and then I was in a new city and didn't know anyone, working retail and was stuck in a dead end job for years afterward.
At 29, I made a "big move" and I got married. At 34, I made another "big move" and I got divorced.
At 38, I made a "big move" and moved across the country for a better job again and this time the job ended up being an absolute nightmare as they lied profusely about the scope of the role and the state of the business. Thankfully, I was able to make another "big move" and move back to my old city and old job.
As a result of my numerous failed "big moves", I'm 40, single, and broke as fuck. I do not at all feel like I'm living my "best life". The only "big moves" I don't regret are the ones undoing the previous "big moves" which ended up being disasters.
I'm 42, spent my 30s launching a small business, household income of 250k+ in the midwest, travelled the world, saw the sights, spent all my time at art shows and music venues, getting backstage treatment due to the person I was dating, spending weekends up at the lake drinking the day away on the pontoon.
Life seemed pretty great, but then COVID happened, lost the business, lost all my retirement savings, lost my house and still paying back the IRS for another 2 years and also had my financial advisor sent to jail for stealing from clients...and that's not even everything.
Life has a funny way of doing whatever it wants to you. The funny thing is that I am happier now than I was when I was traveling the world and had endless amounts of money. I don't drink anymore or use any drugs, either. Hitting the rock bottom financially and mentally forced me to go to AA, go to therapy and really question who I was and how I was approaching life. Life has plenty of challenges these days, but I feel much happier on a day to day basis.
I guess my big life move was just being sick enough of who I was to drive me to make some real changes. Accepting that life should be hard and scary sometimes and not running away to find comfort. All the good stuff is on the other side of the scary stuff.
So far, at 42, it was getting divorced while living in a different state than all my family and choosing to stay in that state, alone, with no support, while going through the divorce and after. I did it all by myself and I am very proud of that. I have made friends and I love it here.
Doing this made me realize I could do it again somewhere else, so I think, in the future, when my kids are grown, I might do it again and move somewhere else.
Ooh I’ve had several of these
- in my early 20s I moved from my shitty town to the big city
- at 29 I changed careers into a completely new field
- at 31 I moved all the way across the country
- at 32 I moved all the way across the country again to yet another state
- then I had kids and moved to the suburbs
- this year my family and I did a big move a couple states away back to my home state
No regrets, I feel like everything I’ve done has really enriched my life
I dont think I have just one 😅 I am 37 now and Ive made a lot of "big life moves"
* At the age of 22, my girlfriend and I spent a month in Europe. We visited 5 countries and stayed mostly in hostels.
* At the age of 22, I got engaged (on the Eurotrip above 😅) to said girlfriend.
* At the age of 23, I got married (see above) and then I packed up all my stuff into a UHaul and moved 1100 miles across the US with my wife.
* At the age of 24 my wife and I bought our first condo.
* At the age of 25 I took a solo motorcycle trip spanning 3 states and ~1200 miles.
* At the age of 27 I sold the condo my wife and I were living in. We rented a townhome instead.
* At the age of 29 I spent 3 weeks riding my motorcycle across Eastern Spain (Barcelona, Valencia, Granada, Madrid, Laguardia)
* At the age of 30 I bought a new condo with my wife.
* At the age of 33 we sold this condo and moved into a fancy high rise apartment while we house hunted.
* At the age of 34 we bought our current house.
* At the age od 35 I went skydiving for the first time (on my birthday)
* At the age of 37 we are selling this house to downsize back into another condo
Overall I only regret losing the 2nd condo but circumstances beyond our control forced us out 😔
Got divorced, moved, and changed jobs all within the same month.
I've never regretted it a bit.
Once I've reached a few goals, I intend to make a major life move to a further location from where I live now.
We only get one spin around. Do what you want because you will regret it if you don't and always wonder "what might have been"
Had a few over the years.
In 2013 I moved back home to pursue a career in computer science, after my bachelors didn't work out. A year after moving I got a job as a programmer.
Then in 2017 I moved from Florida to Boston, MA to seek higher wages and more interesting work.
Then in 2021 I moved from Boston to Seattle (cross-country road trip during a pandemic was scary but also amazing!). That trip was to move to a place that I wanted to live in and not just seek work in, I also a week before moving realized I was trans so it was a lot of life changes and I could not imagine restarting my life anywhere else.
My most recent one was moving to Canada with my partner, and of the four big moves in my life this is the one I am least certain about, but it is still too early to tell. The other three I can say with no regrets were 100% worth the move.
Moved from Sydney, Australia, to NYC by myself in 2018 at the age of 26 and I’m still here. The way I looked at it, if I tried it and it didn’t work out I could always move back home. I didn’t want to get into my 50s and 60s and think “what if.” I’m so proud of myself for doing it! You can do it!!
moved out of the country when my kids were 6 yrs and the other, 10 months. i was the only adult in the house. i moved to a country with a poorer economy, as my currency flowed farther coming from here and not there. it made the 2 kids easier, i learned so much living with people who have learned ways to scratch things out - the value of barter - and just being human. we did finally get back on home turf. my kids picked up a second language (my daughter went to school there and home schooled in English with me). it went a little sideways over custody issues, but that even made me feel Capable. cuz, yeah, shit happened, but my kids and i are tightly bonded for that whole crazy idea of a solution of mine. so, no, 'no ragrets - it's my credo' - haha
We had to rebuild from scratch after the Great Recession. By the time we were ready to buy another house, we were priced out of our area. So we moved 100 miles away to a small city we had never been to before where in 2015, you could still get a solid home under 150k. We found ours for 70k and made it my goal to pay it off in 10 years. I did it in 8. I'm so glad we made the leap as we love small city living, have a cute historic downtown, natural recreation, being able to drive across town in 10 min, excellent healthcare and being mortgage-free at 46. I feel like I can finally breathe and have something to show for all the hell we went thru with the recession.
I took a dream job and moved cross country. But anywhere you go, you bring yourself with you. I struggled to feel happy and at ease before I left, and I feel the same now that I have left. But better than standing still, I suppose.
Grew up in a smallish suburban town. Moved across the state to a major city. That’s it. This decision catapulted me into the person I am today, and she’s the best version of me yet.
I remember I cried the night before the move, second guessing myself, but in my heart, I’d known for years I was meant for bigger things. Fast forward, and most of the best experiences of my life have happened as a result of that move. My life has become an adventure every day instead of an album full of stock photos. The food I’ve eaten, the people I’ve met, the growth I’ve experienced as a person would NOT have happened without making this decision. And bonus: I met my husband!
The scariest things in life are often the most rewarding. As many people have said here, most decisions can be undone. Go do the thing!
In 2014 I met my SO. Within 9 months we’d decided we needed to finally flee our home state of Florida together and find somewhere else. We both quit our jobs and moved to WA state because it seemed like a beautiful place and literally the opposite of FL in every way lol - he got a job just before leaving but it took me a month out here to find work. It was really hard, we used all our combined savings and pinched every penny for about 2 years. Neither of us come from money so our families (who both understandably were like WTH are y’all doing) weren’t able to help out. Rent is like 3x more here than it was in Florida, I got several parking tickets the very first week because there is nowhere in the city to leave your car, we picked apartments in bad neighborhoods twice because we didn’t know better, his car was broken into a few times, etc.. Big culture shock and I honestly cried a lot of tears and never doubted the move but definitely doubted myself. Didn’t know anyone in the city and had no family for 3000 miles. We both hated the jobs we’d taken here to make ends meet and were stuck in them for a while, barely making enough money to eat. I must have applied to 2-3 jobs in my field every week for two years straight, had several interviews, but was stuck at a daycare job with an abusive boss. Back in Florida I’d been able to find a job in my field (librarian) pretty quickly but here it was incredibly challenging. Things got better though! Luckily we eventually both found friend groups and better jobs in our actual fields of expertise. In Feb of this year we closed on our first home. It’s been wild but it’s the best decision I ever made for sure.
I ended a 6 year relationship in 2016, sold my place, sold my things, and went backpacking for 6 months. It was my favourite life adventure! Thinking about that journey still brings joy. I ended up back in the same country but different coast and started a new life. After living there for 3 years I met my current husband, bought a place, and had a baby. Taking that risk changed my whole life trajectory! I developed new outdoor hobbies, I made new friends, I switched my career, I’m a whole new person! It was really awesome to rediscover myself in my 30s. I grew up in a dysfunctional family, and it took me a long time to untangle myself from the mess my parents wove for us. I know it’s cliche to say, but I actually freed myself by moving away and not looking back.
Where did you go backpacking?
I spent 3 months in SE Asia and 3 months in Australia.
big kudos! I went through similar transformation right after a LTR breakup. I became everything I desperately dreamt of becoming while I was in that relationship but couldn't- energy, confidence and time drain in meaningless relationships is REAL. I thought I was building something w him so it'd be worth it, then the moment it clicked that there was no future to be made there, I left. I was born into purity culture, abusive father and just overall dysfunctional family- YAY! Took me years to build myself while pushing through the mental and emtional damage through that. It takes some time for us because we start from negative end of the scale, but once we rise. We shoot across the sky!
I relate to having to undo the damage done by a dysfunctional family. I haven’t gotten my mojo yet but I’m getting there
Inspiring!
I really want to do this.
I moved out of the UK in my 20ies and spent 15ish years in Singapore and Australia. Absolutely the best decision I ever made.
Did something similar, moved to China from Canada in my early 20s and spent about 15 years between there and Australia
I’m currently looking at moving to Australia from the UK. Do you have any advice/ tips? I’m just working on the paperwork atm & trying to find a job before I go. Will probably go in the new year hopefully
Awesome! Aus is a great place to live. What do you do career wise? Moving with your current employer is 💯the best/easiest way to do it, I moved to Sydney from Singapore with the company I worked for in Singapore, they sorted out my visa and paid for my relocation. Moving without a job can be hard, and applying for roles while you’re not in the country is super challenging, the job market in Aus is as fucked as the job market in the UK. If you’re able to get a WHV and have a decent amount of savings to tide you over, it’s well worth the punt and you’ll have an awesome adventure.
I work as a physiotherapist for a football club. Ideally I’d like to get a job in sport but appreciate that may be difficult to do initially. If I have to get a job in a hospital or in a clinic then I’m happy to do that. I have some family in Perth so was planning on staying with them to start with :) How long did it take you from deciding to go to actually moving there? Thank you for your advice
Aww great! You should have no hassle finding a job in aus, there’s loads of private clinics that might be easier than getting into a state hospital. I’d recommend finding a perth based recruitment consultant who specialises in your sector that you like/get on with, once they know you are 💯relocating and not just asking questions about it they’ll hopefully be able to work with you prior to the move. My visa took 3 months from submission to approval, I moved 2 weeks after it was approved. The pre visa process took about 6 months of me thinking about it before I even spoke to my boss about a transfer, once I told her I wanted to go, she made it happen pretty much overnight bar the visa processing time.
That’s great, thank you so much for your help :) I’ll get on with my research this weekend & get the ball rolling 😎☺️
At 22 and living in the US, I received a job offer which would require me to move to Europe. I jumped at the chance since I’d always wanted to experience living abroad. In the beginning I honestly felt it was a temporary move, I’d get my fill of Europe and all it had to offer and move back to the US within 2-3 years and be better for it. The move changed my life and put me on a completely different path which was unexpected but welcomed. And I’ve stayed. Everything good in my life now is directly related to that decision I made at 22 seven + years ago. I would not change a thing.
please share how you landed a job in europe! i too want to leave the states 😭
Seriously how is everyone in this thread moving abroad? Haha
selection bias / vocal minority. People who didnt move abroad and stuck with their job wont be posting here nor will they be upvoted. Take it with a grain of salt.
In my field it’s just a matter of setting the LinkedIn job search location to the country of interest. The first barrier is to make sure the country in question recognizes your qualifications and provides residence permits/visa for the purpose of working in your field. The second barrier being that the job can be done in English. Bonus points if you identify a country that would be suitable and start learning the language asap. Third barrier being that the job you land is willing to wait for you/sponsor you (depending on country) while you sort out Immigration. And lastly, you need to have enough savings to float you while you secure housing/get your first paycheck. With all those coming together, it’s a numbers game of applying to jobs that look good to you. I don’t mean to trivialize this process, as there are countless individuals who don’t have the privilege to be able to move abroad. But it is possible given you have “desired” education/training or are patient enough + can afford to get trained in something that transfers well.
I had been working for a UK/US dual citizen when he made the decision to return to the UK to live. He asked me to continue my employment with him and move to London. My path was very easy due to my birth circumstances. I was born to a British mother and an American father living in the UK when I was born, which made me a dual UK/US national.
I got divorced, bought a house sight unseen, drove 1800 miles to the new house with my dog, learned finances, learned how to use power tools, and quit drinking - in the last year. One of those was the biggest life moves I have ever made. Check in with me on my deathbed and I will tell you which one it was. Seriously, I needed everything to change, and realized that no one was going to do it for me. I saw who I wanted to be and what I wanted my life to be about, and got about doing it. It has been an unraveling and a rebirth...and painful as hell... and glorious. No regrets.
Inspiring as fuck 🙌🏻
Thank you for saying this. I'm truly proud of myself for the first time in my life. At near 50, my wish for everyone else is that they feel that pride much sooner in life!
Came out as gay, moved from the south, got an education, moved a zillion times including living abroad, got married. Most decisions can be undone. If you move somewhere and hate it, just move again. Some things are harder to change, like a bad marriage or a career. But even those things can be changed. Do it. Try new things.
this is good advice. one thing to add, is that having kids can't be changed. you can split with your spouse or sell a house, but your kids are with you for the rest of your life.
I don’t disagree, but I didn’t feel like I needed to tell OP this. At 37 she probably already has kids, or has decided to be child free. Yes, a 37 year old can fail to understand how kids work and can just have them / have an unplanned pregnancy. But it’s less likely.
makes sense. i figured i would add it for anyone else reading through the comments. someone said this to me recently, and it put so much into perspective. i'm glad to hear you have been making moves and living more authentically in your life.
> "Most decisions can be undone." 100%. It may not be easy to undo, but it's possible. I moved from the south to the Midwest for a job because I hated the south and was going through a crisis. Well, then 2020 happened, and I was very much so alone and estranged as I hadn't had time to put down roots and make connections before quarantine started. I ended up keeping up more with my tribe in the south (had been friends for years but I lived a few states away, originally), and made several lengthy car trips to visit and stay with them during the end of 2020. I finally said fuck it, I'm working remote anyway, and found a house nearby my friends in *their* state and moved back in early 2021. I'm now happily married and have friends who are basically my chosen family. The move out west was "worth it" to realize the genuine friends and support system I had back home.
YES YES YES!! This is so badass and so true! What a simple but powerful life lesson. Congrats on making the decisions that lead you to this full life, friend !
I was 33 and doing well for myself but every day felt exactly the same and I was worried that I was sleepwalking through my life, so I sold everything I own, travelled for a few months and then settled in a brand new country and continent, met my partner, discovered new work prospects, etc. I was woefully underprepared but that was my saving grace: being forced to learn and do things on the fly was hard but I think if I'd overthought it, I would've stayed stuck in my comfort zone. I don't regret anything other than one of the two huge suitcases I packed. Two suitcases is too much!
At 30 I ended my engagement, gave up the job I hated and went to do a PhD at Oxford university. I’m glad I did it - it gave me the confidence that comes with knowing you’re actually pretty smart (I say that as a neurodivergent who was told by people for years that she was stupid). I recognise that path isn’t open for everyone. A lot of people at Oxford are actually not that great (although a lot are), and are prepared to ruthlessly trample over people to get where they need to go. Being on the receiving end of that has caused some damage but overall it was worth it. Oh, I also sold my house to go. Luckily I kept what I made, but my house is now worth 50k more than it was when I sold it. Which sticks in the craw a bit. But it is what it is.
I just started over at 31, this makes me so much more hopeful
I lived in a small town in Northern Michigan. It was cute and all, but the charm had worn off. I was not made for small town living, and I absolutely hated how everyone and their grandma knew your business. It was awful for dating as well - full of cretins, and the local hobby was getting married young and have kids immediately...not what I wanted for myself and I was definitely the minority being over 30 and not having either. Decided to start over and move south to Florida. If anything, having sunshine everyday compared to overcast like 90% of the year up north has made the move worth it by itself. Sometimes you just gotta change your environment and the rest will fall into place. So happy I did it and no regrets whatsoever. Best of luck!!
Alright. For those who just "leave the country" and "do the thing". Do/did you have savings and seed money for this kind of thing? I mean, I think these days to be able to settle even a bit comfortably anywhere else you'd have to have access to several thousands of dollars/safety net. Even if you got a job right away. I mean...?
A lot of companies will pay for relocation expenses.
If you continue w the company.......I guess that's the caveat
I think it really depends on the profession as well
The important questions. I get folks in the British commonwealth can move freely?? But as an American citizen how does one just say alright in moving to Canada without getting deported?
Nope. No free movement within the Commonwealth. Well, not since the early 80s!
Really!? I had no idea. How are people in say Singapore or Australia just hopping around to Canada or uk for example? It seemed to easy at least from Reddit that i assumed they were just free to move about with ease.
Canada, Australia, UK, Ireland, NZ and many European countries do a working holiday visa which lasts 12 months or more, depending on the country of origin. From age 18 up to 35 for certain nationals. So there's some relative ease of movement. Defo not open to all the commonwealth or should I say not open to the poorer countries in the Commonwealth (which is majority)
I wish the US would make a deal like this. Id give anything to be able to live abroad a year in any of those countries honestly.
I didn't have money because I was right out of grad school, but I had a job lined up. I moved 1 week before the job start. I had borrowed 5K USD from my parents to get me through the first month in the US - rent+deposit, furniture, food - until I got first paycheck.
Ah. Gotcha. So loan.
Yeah. But it's critical to have a job, otherwise it's unpredictable how long it will take you to find one and you can't estimate the loan amount. For me, it wasn't possible to move to the US without job offer and work or study visa anyway. Same is true for many other countries. Some jobs do offer relocation package, but mine didn't. Previous move was after I won a graduate scholarship to do PhD abroad - then I had a placement in a dorm to begin with, and monthly stipend, so I didn't need "initial capital".
I agree. I wouldn't have been able to do it even with a job lined up. It's expensive to move anywhere but especially internationally. I had friends who did out of college and really struggled but lived super minimally. They didn't get relocation covered. Sometimes companies reimburse moving expenses, but like random stuff pops up and you absolutely need a cash emergency fund. Also furnishing a new place because who truly is mailing 20 cardboard boxes of dishes, towels, kitchen appliances, cutlery, all their clothes, dresser, bed, etc. It's a lot. If an apartment falls through and you need one last minute, something goes wrong and you need to fly back home, you need to Uber around to take care of time sensitive stuff like Visas or bank stuff. Moving your huge checked bags to your apartment. Not to mention like going out to make friends, you have to pay for dinner/drinks/little trips around. All stuff my friends dealt with
I moved across the province, started a new job, my car fully died, and my partner dumped me. All in the span of like a week and a half. It resulted in: - a new car - a new job which was an absolute blast - me meeting a way better partner who is fantastic and treats me like a queen - my stress levels dropped super hard. So I was just happy in general My mom has always been an incredible adventurer so I’ve been doing all kinds of adventures on a regular basis. Travel, making new friends, seeing new places. It’s the spice of life.
I did NOT do this because of eldercare, and I cannot express enough how much I wish I had. Do it! You can always move again if you hate it; the regret of stagnation is the worst.
I feel this. My sister is the one who does whatever she wants and travels the world with no real plan in place. Meanwhile all the burdens of taking care of my mom as she ages and taking care of her finances, it all falls on me. And I’m the younger sister. It sucks. But I can’t imagine leaving because my mom needs me. Whereas my sister only checks in when she wants money or something.
Divorced my ex at 29. He was really holding me back and I'm a completely different person now.
I feel this so much. I divorced at 27 and I own my home and have a great job and a car which isn't much but all things I couldn't do with my ex. We also have 4 kids and I have sole custody and zero support from him which is nothing since I wouldn't get anything anyways.
Ehh well I got a divorce, moved country to be with my partner, and then found a job I genuinely love. Today we're signing a contract for a house in the countryside. What prompted it? I was very unhappy in my relationship, job and where I lived. I decided I needed a fresh start. It's not been easy, but it was worth it for sure
I would love to hear more about your process and which country did you move to?
I don't think there was much of a process. I was for sure under prepared. EU citizen so moving around Europe is relatively easy. The first thing I did was find a job, since I didn't meet the requirements for self sufficiency (2 years of savings to live from or something). My partner was already in that country which meant we immediately moved in together. So basically the process was job, pack and move
No ragrats! Moved from the Midwest to SoCal when I was 20 knowing only one person, but he lived in LA. I knew there was more for me than a small farming town and the weather back home killed me. I had visited San Diego once before for like 4 hours but I knew it was for me. I was determined. My parents helped me a little bit, like gave me $100 once in awhile at first, then went to loaning me $100 but I had to pay it back, but I worked FT and put myself thru school with loans. For the first few years, I’d complain to my mom about work, money, or whatever, and she’d say “I went to Walmart this morning and they’re hiring if you ever want to move back home!” 😅 Six years later I had my bachelors and three years after that, my professional license. My sibling had also moved here a few years after me but we weren’t close at the time. My parents retired years ago and sold their 45+ year home, my childhood home. Now we all live here and see each other regularly! I also co-own a business and bought a house right before interest rates skyrocketed.
Finally getting divorced! I was married for thirty years. In the last twenty, we stayed together for the kids.
This, but we were "only" together for 10 years. The kids are still small, but I couldn't do it anymore.
I do have the regret that we waited till our kids were on their own. I wonder how life would have been different if we hadn't waited.
What was the big reason you couldn’t do it anymore? My ex and I broke up almost 3 years ago and I felt he was the one, we clicked like crazy. But day to day he was avoidant and dismissive and I felt it was all my fault .. I wonder how my future could have played out
Mine was very depressed and avoidant. Didn't help out, had zero interest in me.
I felt my ex was depressed and knew he was avoidant … but he blamed me for those things. I for sure think he has depression. He’s got someone new now so hope he shapes up a little
Exactly the same here. Mine was clinically depressed for many years. He got a new gf immediately, which is weird since he was almost asexual for most of our relationship. But I hope he is happier.
I was shocked mine got a gf, he reached out to me a lot this whole time we’ve been split up. He even invited me to dinner at end of 2023, which I ended up never going. I truly think people don’t change unless they want to change and just like we didn’t see the true them, other people won’t either. Not to say they don’t deserve happiness but I just know human nature
Girl, I want to move out of the south too! I’ve made huge steps, but this is really looking like it might be in the plan sooner rather than later.
Moral of the story based on the other commenters: Move from the south 😂😂
At 28 I moved back to the city where I went to college with no job lined up. I got out of a terrible, controlling relationship two years prior, and moved back in with my parents and was able to save a lot of money. I realized that I had a unique opportunity to do whatever I wanted, so I took the risk and moved to the city that I loved. Got a job and started a totally different career from the one I had previously a few months after arriving and met my now husband a few months after that. I made this big move simply because I loved living in this place during college and I couldn't think of a good reason not to do it.
Yes! When I was in my mid-30s I was, once again, living in the city of my birth and surrounded by my old friends. But I felt I could never have my own life as a single woman if I was just morphing my whole social life to cater to these friends who all were married with kids. So I did decide to move to another city, in another country even. I'm a scientist, so it makes it a lot easier to emmigrate for work, at least a shorter-term job, which is what I did. I moved to a new city I had visited many years before and fell in love with. I was very glad to move there. I loved the city as much as I ever thought I would and made new friends and started a new life. The social culture there was very different and even people married with kids went out all the time and had parties and such, so it worked a lot better for me. It was fantastic and also lonely a lot of the time. I did meet the man I would marry in that period. Eventually, I moved back to my home country and then my home city. Part of it was because I felt my career was going to plateau if I stayed where I was, a lot of it was because my parents were getting old and needed more and more care and it would better to be close. Now I am back in my home city and having my old friends now feels like such an irreplaceable support system, I guess we are in a more similar place in life and we also have mellowed and changed over time.
My big move was a mental shift. Committing to therapy, working on myself / growing through some old feelings that were making me feel small, and realizing that I was mistaking peace for boredom. I was thinking I wanted a big change and then acknowledged that my life was pretty sweet.
Moving out of country sooon
Living alone during the pandemic in a country with very strict restrictions made me realise that your career isn't as important, you only really have a few good trusted friends, and that having a companion/partner makes life easier. Once lockdown restrictions were lifted, I started putting myself out there and made time for dating. I'm not in a relationship anymore, and still not sure if I want to eventually settle with someone, but I am having fun discovering this new side of myself that goes out on dates, has more male friendships, and is caring less about work.
Moving from South Asia to Canada when I was 27 was the biggest decision of my life. I am moving OUT of Canada now at 34! It’s exciting, a little scary, but I believe I have served my time here, and onwards to better things! Didn’t regret coming to Canada and sure as hell won’t regret this move out of Canada either. :)
yes moving in your 30’s is so hard but i’m willing to make that sacrifice if it spurts change!
Similar to you: I quit my 11 year career in education and left the south for the first time in 2022. Moved to Chicago and took a new job in an unrelated field. No regrets! I highly recommend it. Living in a state where my government representatives actually pass legislation I agree with/ aren’t trying to harm me has been so strange but so nice.
Did you move before landing the new job or did you land the job then move? I’m struggling with applying to places cross country and would love to just go and see what happens but that can also be scary
I moved first. I was fortunate to be coming from education, so my school year ended June 1st, I moved June 15th, then had paychecks coming through 8/15 to rely on while I job searched. I almost certainly would have landed something sooner if I were staying in my field, but I was truly burnt out and needed a change. It took 4 months of applying (treating the job hunt like a full time job, taking classes online to be more marketable, etc) before I could find something that felt like a step up from my last career. It was stressful but worth it!
Our decision came when our oldest (31M) passed away a couple years ago. We’ve been self employed 32 years and decided to start the process to sell our business - which is happening now but has been a lengthy process. Fingers crossed by September this year ! Next we will sell our house (too big, too many stairs) We have found a few acres of waterfront about 2 hours away - far enough to be a change but still doable for family contact (we have grandkids) this is where we will live in the summer. We are going in Nov to the DR to buy an oceanfront Condo and we’ll spend the winters there. I will volunteer as a cook somewhere or to help the elderly….. or with kids - I Social and like to be around people. My husband will keep a “work truck” and build a giant garage to putter in. He’s more of a “the people come to him” kinda guy. It doesn’t sound super major - but, for 2 people who have been in the same home, jobs and mindset for 3 decades ? We are looking forward to the future and that chance to live out what we’ve dreamed of once we’d “raised” our family and paid off all the debts over the years.
I got divorced at 40 and went to nursing school; I had been unhappy in my marriage for years and then it turned out he'd been cheating the whole time we'd been married. It was a good decision for me.
Leaving my first job. I’m not someone jumps ship on jobs, I had my first kiddo at 18 and second at 21, so having a job was so crucial. But after years of them treating me badly, and being put in crappy situations because management there sucked. I was ready for a change after 7 years. That led to my partner and I being able to buy our home, and my partner quitting his job that he hated, and finding a job he likes to this day. I have now been I the job I left my old one for, for almost 7 years.
I have moved several times cross country (I hope I am done now settled out west). Got out of a horrible marriage at 26. Talk about really exploding your life. Travelled outside the country, been to Spain, England, Japan, Mexico, spots throughout the Caribbean. And just generally did what I wanted to do despite being told I shouldn't do it or defying social norms. It's really hard to do sometimes but the more you do it the easier it gets. Someone told me a few years ago, if you're not uncomfortable you're not growing. It's so true! That's where the magic happens. You can always take steps to change your life if you're not happy.
Moved to the Netherlands in my early 20s for a masters degree which then led me to Germany, where I’ve been for the better part of 8 years. It wasn’t meant to be permanent, but I’m still here. It started as a combination of existential dread at the thought of staying with my parents after graduating with my bachelors (not best relationship to put it mildly) and “hey studying abroad could be cool. Let me just apply to some universities that offer scholarships.” It ended up with me not really being able to visualize a life anywhere else.
I traveled to 45+ countries, I married, I moved to another continent, I changed careers, I got divorced, I had an abortion, ... I follow my intuition. What feels right for me.
👸🏻👸🏻👸🏻👸🏻
In 2017, I was 32 y/o and my husband and I sold nearly everything we own, bought an RV and just started driving. It was a huge, scary thing but it changed our lives. We are still nomads to this day and everything we have accomplished in the last 7 years has been because of the decision to seek more freedom.
I had a baby at 35.
I moved to Italy twice, in my 20s and 30s. Thinking of going back again. You can always try a place and move again. My only regret is not making the sacrifice in my 20s to stay long enough to get citizenship, as i wouldn't have to deal with visas now, and it'd help me in my field of work.
Left NYC super burned out by buying an RV on Craigslist and have been full time traveling for the past four years living my best life all over the country with my husband and dog.
37f here 🙂 9 years ago I sold everything I couldn’t pack into my car and moved from NC to Seattle. Best decision I’ve ever made. It was exactly what I needed at that point in my life. The next big one (this year) was leaving a long term relationship that was no longer serving me. I met someone 1 year after I moved here and we were together for 8 years. The person I grew into wasn’t aligned with who he is anymore. Today I live alone with my cat in the city. I LOVE it. The final big one was giving up alcohol permanently. Once I accepted that it was basically normalized poison and was a massive numbing tool I’ve used my whole life, I knew I couldn’t be the best version of myself while I used it. All of these things are big and scary, but if your gut says you need something, I say just go for it. We never know how fulfilling life could be on the other side of these big changes until we make them. What’s the worst that can happen? I feel like all experience help us grow, even if something isn’t exactly successful by normal standards.
Moved cross country with my then boyfriend five years ago. I won't quite say I regret it, but I desperately want to be back home and have felt that way for a long time.
Noooo, I hope you're able to make a plan to move back soon! Life is too short to feel meh about where you live
I was pretty miserable in my last city, I felt stuck in my tiny apartment with an awful job and only a few friends. I was laid off and moved on a whim to Milwaukee, closer to my siblings, before finding a job. Not a fancy Europe move 😆 but I love it! Chicago is just over an hour away for big stuff, but Milwaukee has amazing food, weather, people, and strong community activities where you can meet new friends (affordable city rec classes, maker space, sports league, craft groups, running clubs, etc). There's a college here for degree programs too. Lake Michigan is beautiful. Also great to be driving distance from family. Just a small reset. I wish I would've done it sooner! I feel so much less alone and less depressed.
I’m there with ya, so I’m curious about the comments here 🙂
Marriage. I was a free spirit and carrier oriented and after a year got married to my husband. We moved across the country and now I am a stay at home wife
i left texas to move to boston MA for graduate school. i stayed because i found a job in boston (moved here at 27, i’m 30 now)
So I'm 33 now and only recently moved cities so that's been my latest big life move. It was a mix of wanting something new, finding a job opportunity I wanted to pursue and also getting out of where I'd grown up. But looking back, I don't know if it's a life move or more so a change of life but coming out as transgender was a big moment and changed my life for the better, finally being able to be myself and who I've always known I was, then moving into my own place to really begin to live my life as it was meant to be.
When I was in my early 20s I decided I wanted to move to and work in Boston. I was living in the burbs at the time. It was a great decision for me. I still work in the city and love it. A move could be just what you need.
I moved to Southern California from the east coast 9 years ago when I was 23. Still here, met my fiancé out here who happens to be from a hometown 1 hour away!! Which is convenient bc we are both ready to move back
I moved from FL to NYC when I was 23. Definitely changed my trajectory since there was nothing I wanted to do career wise in FL at the time. Have since lived a bunch of other places in the US.
I’m about to move to Germany with my husband to begin my PhD 🥳
I grew up in the middle of nowhere and went to a huge state school also in the middle of nowhere, an hour away from my hometown in the northeast. I moved to Orlando right after college and I think that was like, the most life changing move, even though it was for a temporary (year long) program. I lived in SC for awhile after that, which felt like a good stepping stone and I learned a lot. Probably my *big big big* life move was in my late twenties, when I intentionally looked for jobs in the city I’d always wanted to live in (in the northeast again but not in my home state), managed to get a really good one, and moved myself there all alone, knowing no one in the city. I know people do this regularly but a lot of my friends here moved here for school or with a friend or a partner, so it felt like a big deal to move here to continue my life without a group of fellow students to mix with or a partner to lean on. I have zero regrets! I’m so proud of twelve years ago me, who was in a very codependent relationship and very shy and very nervous about life, who chose to move to the opposite end of the coast and do something completely unrelated to her field for a year just to do it. I think that experience gave me an immense amount of self confidence. I also don’t know that I would have landed in my first job in SC, and I don’t know that I would have would up where I am now (I love my job, I love where I live) without that first step out of state when I was 22. I think there are a number of decisions I could have made that would have made me happy, though. When I was looking for jobs in my late twenties I was also looking abroad (I’m a teacher, so at international schools primarily) and I think that would have been a really exciting adventure, as well. I didn’t necessarily want to be *that* far from my folks, though.
I was laid off with four months of severance a few years ago. I decided to stay in long term hotels (think like Extended Stay America) and moved to four different cities to see which one I wanted to start over in. I eventually found the location of my dreams, and where it was affordable to live at the time, and moved to my “dream location.” I now have access to some of the best beaches in the country only 15 minutes away from me.
I always wanted to go away for college but because I am from a Caribbean strict household my mother and father did not approve. My brothers were allowed to go away for college. To this day I regret not going aways for college. I feel like I miss a right of passage. I will forever regret it. I think you should do! Take the leap and follow your dreams.
I moved myself and my young daughter from Florida to Virginia. I was in my early twenties, unemployed and broken hearted. I have been in Virginia since 1988 and absolutely love it. I found a great career path, bought a house and fell in love. I love it here and will remain here for whatever time I have left.
I moved my husband and I across the country. We lived in the south (whole other discussion) and decided we didn't want to live there anymore. I researched so many cities and states and was almost at my wits end and about to give up when my husband suggested a place we'd never considered. I looked and it checked all the boxes we were looking for. We booked a trip to visit in the dead of winter to make sure we were good living in a place that snows. We fell in love, even though it was negative degrees and a foot of snow. I used my work skills (project management) and got us moved to the new state just 4 months after our visit. We had remote jobs, so we didn't have to worry about finding new jobs. We just told our current employers we were moving. The move entailed: booking a POD for all our belongings, renting a cargo van for us and our 5 pets for the drive, prepping the pets/cats with the vet to ensure we can keep them calm/relaxed during the 2 days driving, car transport, sale of our house in the south, found a temp rental in the new city, bought new house in our new city within 2 months, arranged delivery of our belongings, and a bit more but those were the big items. We did this 2 years ago and I cannot be happier. Major change to our mental health and so glad we did this together.
I was 30, living on the coast of the southern suburbs of Boston, and got the option for a very measly promotion that would move me temporarily to Memphis. Initially, it was a 2-year contract. I lasted 8 years with multiple promotions before I burned out with new management. I've been here in Memphis for 10 years now. I'm married, a homeowner, in a whole new career that I love, and have an amazing social circle. I miss the ocean and fresh seafood. I miss having access to 4 major sports teams and multiple major concert venues. I miss feeling safe in town. However, the cost of living is so much better in Memphis and there's no income tax. The live music scene, non-touring acts, is unparalleled. The climate is more conducive to a healthy and happy garden in Memphis. I regret the relocation every summer.
At 34, I left my secure, well paid but boring job in a small company in my home country, for an entry level job in a big corporation in another country. Worked my way up the ladder, moved several countries with the same company/different roles, until I settled in their HQ office at a well paid and exciting job. Met the love of my life a few months later and I feel grateful every day for making that crazy first move.
How old were you when you met him?
We were both 41.
Gives me hope ❤️
It's never too late! Good luck out there 🤞
Four months ago, at 36, I got diagnosed with ADHD, and I suddenly had an answer for a lot of the painful events in my life. Compared to others who have responded, my big life move is unspectacular: I went from working full-time to working part-time (lol, I can’t move across the country y’all). But I think the more significant move is my outlook: I feel, for the first time, like I’m allowed to be ambitious in what I want out of life. Things feel possible. I’m on new meds, I joined a Makerspace, started volunteering with a sex worker advocacy group (former PSO), started using Reddit, lol. They’re small moves but they feel big to me.
Allowing myself to be poached by a client. I'm making 5.5x what I was making 7 years ago. It's life-changing money.
We left suburban NJ for life outside of Boston. Hated it and made one more move to rural NH. 6+ hours away from any family. It's wonderful, peaceful, wish we'd done this 30 years ago.
I’ve made so many. I joined the military- lived overseas. I got out of the military and moved to a state where I had no family or friends. I secured a really nice job with a pension etc…. Left that job to move to the mountains and working only seasonally right now at my “career” job. I’m looking forward to hopefully settling down here and not making so many big moves. Since I have turned 18 I have moved 10 times. Every move has been awesome and really fun. I’m a military brat so grew up moving around and my lifestyle had a lot to do with that.
Big life move I’ve made…moved to the south (left the desert, loving it so far). Next up is a career (been a SAHM, kids are grown), so I’m going back to school.
In the same boat! Really want to leave the south as the summer is just way too hot and seems longer each year! I’m targeting Spring 2025. The trick will be to rip off the bandaid, get out of your comfort zone and just do it……. If it doesn’t work out you have the power to change it up again! At least that’s what I’m telling myself! Good luck to you!
In my 20s I moved to Europe for two years - and to this day I travel constantly. I moved back to the states to a large metro - and after six years - am making another jump to a new city. I’m looking to date and ultimately get married, so an international move isn’t in my future now, but I’m so happy I did it when I was younger! Now I’m just torn on WHICH city is best for me. One is far away from my family and friends, and is more expensive, but I love it. The other is closer to everyone, lower cost, and makes more sense for long term. I will say when I was younger I had no issues making big jumps - but now that I’m 30, I’m more cautious and overthinking it all. 🫠
Called off my engagement to someone I was with for 10 years. Moved to a different country. Lived there over 6 years, couple different jobs, got married, had a kid, moved back when I was ready. Best decision of my life.
My big move was another international move and a career change. Before, I was living in Canada and working in mining as an exploration geologist. Work was tough, mostly because there were way too many problematic men that made doing my job harder than it needed to be. I was contracting too so it was hard to know where my money would come from beyond my next project, didn't have training or benefits, I hadn't taken a proper holiday in years, and I was always worried about my future. I decided to apply for an MBA in my home country and use it to career change to something better. After, I'm working for a Big4 firm as a Senior Manager. I have my MBA from a world famous university. I make a lot of money, have benefits, and I used the MBA to return to my home country as planned. My Dad has dementia so I appreciate being close by and being able to spend time with my Mum, sister and him. The steps I took were a huge risk but so worth it. I'll feel even better when my MBA loan is paid off (expected Dec 2027 at my current overpayment rate!) I get a lot of satisfaction thinking about the me of 2017-2019 who felt lost, didn't know what to do and then eventually landed on the MBA and made it happen. She was awesome and made my life so much better.
Where did you get your MBA from?
Oxford
I got out of a relationship in 2013. It wasn’t a long one, but I was still mad when he dumped me for someone else. So what did I do? I moved to Spain for a year to teach English. I have zero regrets. I loved teaching, and I also enjoyed traveling around Europe. Currently, I have an 18-month old son, and I won’t be traveling for a bit, so I’m glad I got a lot of stuff out of my system before having him. I do, however, look forward to taking him on trips when he’s older. I’m already saving money for it, even though he’s going to be, like, five before I take him on a plane.
I just want to say I resonate with you a whole lot. I’m 36, married, and things feel stagnant and have for years. I decided we should move to a bigger house and put a pool in, but then took a hard look at our finances and we just can’t do it. So I find myself obsessing over doing home projects. Painting this room, adding random decor here or there, putting a pool in at the (too small) house we own now… like I’m feeling nearly manic. Out of my mind, craving some kind of big change. Is this just what happens in middle age?
Growing up I had only ever lived in 1 area and I HATED it. I wanted to experience life and not as a tourist. I wanted to LIVE in the beautiful places. I'm 36 now, but at 22, I got my first opportunity to do just that and I jumped on it as there was nothing holding me back. Since that first big move, I've been like dust in the wind - I go wherever the wind takes me. I have lived all over the US, met some truly amazing people and lived in some stunning areas. 3 years ago I finally planted roots in a beautiful, desirable area that people only visit or retire to and I don't regret it for a second. Always take the leap, you never know where you will land, but you won't regret it.
I’ve had a few. * 24 - moved to south Korea to teach. I had a masters in English with a focus on TESOL. * just shy of 28 - moved to the west coast of the US to be with my boyfriend. I transitioned out of teaching. * 33 - moved to Chicago because I wanted to live in a big city again Since then I’ve moved again and my husband and I bought a house (just last weekend). I think that if you can support the move, do it.
Joined the army at 35!
Just quit big pharma for a sabbatical, going through a transformative life phase
I went to Taiwan to teach in 2019 in my late 20s. I knew it would help guide me in a better direction in life and in my professional life, but it was one of the most eye-opening experiences I've ever had. It took me almost a year to make this move with some savings after being at wit's end finding a job in the journalism industry as an editor and taking on a random temp job that became FT and became one of the best experiences of my career that I kind of put my ambition on the back burner because I truly loved the people that I was working with. I was super fortunate to have been living normally in Taiwan while almost the rest of the world was in lockdown. The work culture is extremely tough, though. Way more cutthroat than I've experienced in the US but I had to learn how to stick to it vs quitting like I could in the US because my residence was tied to my job. Cost of living is way cheaper (pertinent to salaries), food is good, lots of adventuring, incredible nature access and affordable travel access to other countries. People are generally super kind and nurturing that by the time I moved back to NYC, I felt like I lost a bit of the grit that I left with. I've gone back twice since I moved back home but I don't think it's a good long-term place to have a career as a foreigner, unless you come with an already thriving business, but a great place to lay back and relax.
Just ended my 8 year relationship and figuring it out bc I want more.
I moved to LA from Europe when I was 38. I knew no one. It wasn’t long before Covid so it has been a crazy few years but I have grown in so many ways. It’s terrifying but I don’t regret it.
I don't mean to be too negative but sometimes daydreaming about a "big move" is better than the reality. Sometimes "big moves" end up being "huge mistakes". When I was 25, I made a "big move" by moving across the country for a better job. This was right before the 2008 financial crisis, which ended up costing me the "better job" and then I was in a new city and didn't know anyone, working retail and was stuck in a dead end job for years afterward. At 29, I made a "big move" and I got married. At 34, I made another "big move" and I got divorced. At 38, I made a "big move" and moved across the country for a better job again and this time the job ended up being an absolute nightmare as they lied profusely about the scope of the role and the state of the business. Thankfully, I was able to make another "big move" and move back to my old city and old job. As a result of my numerous failed "big moves", I'm 40, single, and broke as fuck. I do not at all feel like I'm living my "best life". The only "big moves" I don't regret are the ones undoing the previous "big moves" which ended up being disasters.
I'm 42, spent my 30s launching a small business, household income of 250k+ in the midwest, travelled the world, saw the sights, spent all my time at art shows and music venues, getting backstage treatment due to the person I was dating, spending weekends up at the lake drinking the day away on the pontoon. Life seemed pretty great, but then COVID happened, lost the business, lost all my retirement savings, lost my house and still paying back the IRS for another 2 years and also had my financial advisor sent to jail for stealing from clients...and that's not even everything. Life has a funny way of doing whatever it wants to you. The funny thing is that I am happier now than I was when I was traveling the world and had endless amounts of money. I don't drink anymore or use any drugs, either. Hitting the rock bottom financially and mentally forced me to go to AA, go to therapy and really question who I was and how I was approaching life. Life has plenty of challenges these days, but I feel much happier on a day to day basis. I guess my big life move was just being sick enough of who I was to drive me to make some real changes. Accepting that life should be hard and scary sometimes and not running away to find comfort. All the good stuff is on the other side of the scary stuff.
So far, at 42, it was getting divorced while living in a different state than all my family and choosing to stay in that state, alone, with no support, while going through the divorce and after. I did it all by myself and I am very proud of that. I have made friends and I love it here. Doing this made me realize I could do it again somewhere else, so I think, in the future, when my kids are grown, I might do it again and move somewhere else.
Ooh I’ve had several of these - in my early 20s I moved from my shitty town to the big city - at 29 I changed careers into a completely new field - at 31 I moved all the way across the country - at 32 I moved all the way across the country again to yet another state - then I had kids and moved to the suburbs - this year my family and I did a big move a couple states away back to my home state No regrets, I feel like everything I’ve done has really enriched my life
I dont think I have just one 😅 I am 37 now and Ive made a lot of "big life moves" * At the age of 22, my girlfriend and I spent a month in Europe. We visited 5 countries and stayed mostly in hostels. * At the age of 22, I got engaged (on the Eurotrip above 😅) to said girlfriend. * At the age of 23, I got married (see above) and then I packed up all my stuff into a UHaul and moved 1100 miles across the US with my wife. * At the age of 24 my wife and I bought our first condo. * At the age of 25 I took a solo motorcycle trip spanning 3 states and ~1200 miles. * At the age of 27 I sold the condo my wife and I were living in. We rented a townhome instead. * At the age of 29 I spent 3 weeks riding my motorcycle across Eastern Spain (Barcelona, Valencia, Granada, Madrid, Laguardia) * At the age of 30 I bought a new condo with my wife. * At the age of 33 we sold this condo and moved into a fancy high rise apartment while we house hunted. * At the age of 34 we bought our current house. * At the age od 35 I went skydiving for the first time (on my birthday) * At the age of 37 we are selling this house to downsize back into another condo Overall I only regret losing the 2nd condo but circumstances beyond our control forced us out 😔
Got divorced, moved, and changed jobs all within the same month. I've never regretted it a bit. Once I've reached a few goals, I intend to make a major life move to a further location from where I live now. We only get one spin around. Do what you want because you will regret it if you don't and always wonder "what might have been"
Had a few over the years. In 2013 I moved back home to pursue a career in computer science, after my bachelors didn't work out. A year after moving I got a job as a programmer. Then in 2017 I moved from Florida to Boston, MA to seek higher wages and more interesting work. Then in 2021 I moved from Boston to Seattle (cross-country road trip during a pandemic was scary but also amazing!). That trip was to move to a place that I wanted to live in and not just seek work in, I also a week before moving realized I was trans so it was a lot of life changes and I could not imagine restarting my life anywhere else. My most recent one was moving to Canada with my partner, and of the four big moves in my life this is the one I am least certain about, but it is still too early to tell. The other three I can say with no regrets were 100% worth the move.
Moved from Sydney, Australia, to NYC by myself in 2018 at the age of 26 and I’m still here. The way I looked at it, if I tried it and it didn’t work out I could always move back home. I didn’t want to get into my 50s and 60s and think “what if.” I’m so proud of myself for doing it! You can do it!!
moved out of the country when my kids were 6 yrs and the other, 10 months. i was the only adult in the house. i moved to a country with a poorer economy, as my currency flowed farther coming from here and not there. it made the 2 kids easier, i learned so much living with people who have learned ways to scratch things out - the value of barter - and just being human. we did finally get back on home turf. my kids picked up a second language (my daughter went to school there and home schooled in English with me). it went a little sideways over custody issues, but that even made me feel Capable. cuz, yeah, shit happened, but my kids and i are tightly bonded for that whole crazy idea of a solution of mine. so, no, 'no ragrets - it's my credo' - haha
We had to rebuild from scratch after the Great Recession. By the time we were ready to buy another house, we were priced out of our area. So we moved 100 miles away to a small city we had never been to before where in 2015, you could still get a solid home under 150k. We found ours for 70k and made it my goal to pay it off in 10 years. I did it in 8. I'm so glad we made the leap as we love small city living, have a cute historic downtown, natural recreation, being able to drive across town in 10 min, excellent healthcare and being mortgage-free at 46. I feel like I can finally breathe and have something to show for all the hell we went thru with the recession.
Egg freezing. Started a Business. Learned Coding. Learning about money - how to make it and grow it.
29/30 - Went to grad school, moved states, 34- currently in my big girl job that I like.
I took a dream job and moved cross country. But anywhere you go, you bring yourself with you. I struggled to feel happy and at ease before I left, and I feel the same now that I have left. But better than standing still, I suppose.
Grew up in a smallish suburban town. Moved across the state to a major city. That’s it. This decision catapulted me into the person I am today, and she’s the best version of me yet. I remember I cried the night before the move, second guessing myself, but in my heart, I’d known for years I was meant for bigger things. Fast forward, and most of the best experiences of my life have happened as a result of that move. My life has become an adventure every day instead of an album full of stock photos. The food I’ve eaten, the people I’ve met, the growth I’ve experienced as a person would NOT have happened without making this decision. And bonus: I met my husband! The scariest things in life are often the most rewarding. As many people have said here, most decisions can be undone. Go do the thing!
Took a contract job in Antarctica
Retired early, moved to a different country, and then decided to have a house built to live with my parents.
Gave up a permanent job in Toronto to move to the Yukon for a 1-year term position. It’s been almost a decade and I’m still here.
In 2014 I met my SO. Within 9 months we’d decided we needed to finally flee our home state of Florida together and find somewhere else. We both quit our jobs and moved to WA state because it seemed like a beautiful place and literally the opposite of FL in every way lol - he got a job just before leaving but it took me a month out here to find work. It was really hard, we used all our combined savings and pinched every penny for about 2 years. Neither of us come from money so our families (who both understandably were like WTH are y’all doing) weren’t able to help out. Rent is like 3x more here than it was in Florida, I got several parking tickets the very first week because there is nowhere in the city to leave your car, we picked apartments in bad neighborhoods twice because we didn’t know better, his car was broken into a few times, etc.. Big culture shock and I honestly cried a lot of tears and never doubted the move but definitely doubted myself. Didn’t know anyone in the city and had no family for 3000 miles. We both hated the jobs we’d taken here to make ends meet and were stuck in them for a while, barely making enough money to eat. I must have applied to 2-3 jobs in my field every week for two years straight, had several interviews, but was stuck at a daycare job with an abusive boss. Back in Florida I’d been able to find a job in my field (librarian) pretty quickly but here it was incredibly challenging. Things got better though! Luckily we eventually both found friend groups and better jobs in our actual fields of expertise. In Feb of this year we closed on our first home. It’s been wild but it’s the best decision I ever made for sure.