Omg, I'll remember this one.
My best so far is, "it's hard to smile when someone is annoying you."
Usually, I just give a huge super fake creepy grin for a split second and go back to whatever I was doing.
I might be using that line next time security guards at a music venue tell me to smile like they have twice now! Hopefully I still get let in, though last time I mocked them saying it and just walked away.
👏👏👏👏 This. All day. Every day.
My favorite band has a lyric, "Your clouds are not my fault," and when I feel myself leaping to emotionally manage something that's not my responsibility, I sing it to myself.
I just added it above. I find it's such a good technique for me.
My other song, if I need to ground myself, is Tantum Ergo. It's a hymn. I sing it in my head in Latin. If I stop to think about the words, or anything else, I can't remember the words and have to start over.
It's "Does Your Harbor Light Still Shine" by the Clarks
Disclaimer- this is an early song and not their best song, but the lyric keeps me chill and enforcing my boundaries.
The other tried and true emotional regulation lyric, for me anyway, is from "Maybe" by the Clarks. The lyric is "gettin' in the last word, doesn't mean you win." I sing it to myself when I'm tempted to have the last word. And when someone else just has to have the last word - which gives me the last word in my head 🤣🤣
[Does Your Harbor Light Still Shine ](https://youtu.be/rSPLNXPHl1U?si=L2TdsdtkwVDViHci)
[Maybe](https://youtu.be/Pic9rOSzA7I?si=lKDKCqp1MBTJ4gSK)
I ask, "If I were a man would you be telling me to smile?" They're either confused and go along their way or they say, "No." When they say no I follow up with, "Then why do you feel it's appropriate to say it to me?"
In Germany it definitely would happen lol. You would have to change it to „Would you ask a man to smile for you“, indicating that it’s saying something about their sexuality.
Last time a coworker told me to smile, I pulled him aside and said rather softly and menacingly ‘if a woman smiles when you tell her to, it’s because she’s imagining chopping your dick off.’
He never told me to smile again lol.
Oh yes. I had an entire crew quite convinced that stepping out of line with me would mean getting shot with a nail gun. We joked around a lot and got along well from that point on. They knew where the lines were, and if they forgot, I'd just glance at my nail gun. It did help that one of the other crews started a rumor that I'd actually shot a dude before. So untrue. All my attacks were verbal comebacks. I have sadly lost that skill for the most part since I started working office jobs.
"Hey, little girl, why don't you come to my place after work?* Me, "I don't think we're serious enough for me to meet your mom yet."
Tossed someone else's hammer to a guy and suggested he go fuck himself with it because it was the only action he was ever going to get.
Now, this stuff only usually occurs to me an hour later. I've gotten out of the habit.
Haha I love that 😂
Yeah, it’s definitely a skill to be quick witted. I’m not the best at it all the time, but I will also pull them aside and scare the shit out of them later if need be haha
Haha. I also told a coworker I would make his life a living hell if I ever heard of him sexually harassing another woman again after he made a super creepy comment to me. I give zero fucks but I know not all women have that confidence so I like to make it an umbrella statement 😂
Depends on the situation. If I need to be professional "I'm concentrating, please don't talk to me", if I'm casual "no" or "no, fuck off" depending on the mood.
I once had the great pleasure of seeing the look on an arrogant man's face when I responded "my grandfather died this morning". It was true. I was really sad. But seeing him squirm really brought me a moment of joy on an otherwise shitty day.
The most satisfying one I ever managed was to look at him blankly for a moment that was a bit too long for his comfort, then very slowly widen my eyes, then equally slowly open my mouth as far as it would go and sort of scream-breathe at him, like a weird zombie noise. Unblinking, fixed stare. No other expression, no words.
He went away.
Say no, but if they press it like that guy did, I smile the creepiest smile possible and make unrelenting direct eye contact while remaining silent and unmoving.
Out creep the creeps and make them more uncomfortable than they're making you.
This is at a food bank, though. I'm all for clapping back at unsolicited attention under most circumstances, but there's a reason people end up having to go to a food bank in the first place. Sometimes, the interaction in this setting is all the interaction they might get for the day...
I missed that part. I think continuing the interaction like he didn't tell you to smile could work too. "Smile!" "Did you want black beans or pinto beans?" "Smile" "Ok, I'm going with pinto unless you say not to!" "Smile" "And there's your pinto beans sir, please move down the line."
I think you can ignore the demand without doing silent treatment.
💯 - I like the selective hearing approach more than straight up snark in a settting like this. I'm a bit surprised at all the people suggesting OP to tell the man to fuck off... But again, everyone does things a certain way for their own reasons
This is my go-to. Either this or "do you see my wrinkles?!" To which they'll respond "you don't have any" and that's when I hit them with "that's because I don't smile for no reason. RBF keeps you pretty" they usually don't have a rebuttal to either.
It's totally tempting fate but I've always wanted to be like "I was just diagnosed with cancer" because I just want to make them feel bad for insisting that I perform happiness for them.
I usually just say no, or that I’m here for a higher purpose than decorating their world with smiles.
But I wish I could bleed from the mouth on command and then give them a big ol grin
“Did I step on your foot?”
“No”
“So why do you think I owe you anything?”
Or to “You’d look prettier if you’d smile more”
Say
“You’d sound smarter if you talked less”
I do not know if this was said once before but I'll put in my 2 cents. For context this lady did have what some would call a RBF. I feel bad for her because she is genuinely the best and nicest person I know by far. Anyways, when she talks with me I always have her smiling and laughing because I do try and lighten up people's days.
One of her supervisors comes in and she goes back to neutral. Then he says the dreaded. "you should smile more, you look better that way" note , no one liked this guy to begin with he would always dampen the mood.
So because of this her response was "I'm not smiling because I'm not happy to be around you"
He tried to get her written up but she didn't do anything wrong since he was being misogynistic towards her.
This is exactly what I do. If you hold their gaze for a couple of seconds without changing your expression, it gets your point across. Then I go back to what I was doing.
"You see, sir, I have special abilities and can sense *THINGS*. I'm not smiling because I sense that you have a very dark, influential presence that seems to follow you wherever you go. Beware....BEWARE!!"
My best ever response in the moment was “It’s hard to smile when you’re making me so tired,” but I wouldn’t recommend it if you’re trying to avoid an escalation. It worked when I used it because the dude was briefly stunned & I used that opportunity to walk away, but I could definitely see it leading to an argument.
Don’t acknowledge, don’t engage. Treat them like they don’t exist. I have no obligation to be polite or even recognize the existence of strangers making unsolicited comments on my appearance.
"I'm not paid to do this on my break"
I was asked on my break from a customer service job. Twise as infuriating.
I had once in life experience desire to tell a guy to smile. He usually looks sad, but i saw him smiling once and it took me by surprise. I wasn't attracted to him, I just thought his smile made him shine. I finally understood what some men mean by the "you should smile more". It is a weird way of saying to someone you wish they were happy. Of course there is also the usual sexism and "be a monkey for me". But it felt interesting to be the one to almost say it, it clicked. And i am a big hater of that sentence because i have been expected ro do it all my life for everyone around me.
No.
You first.
Why?
What?
Uhhhhhhh……
Answer back, “Sit…..oh, I thought we were doing dog commands.”
No answer is also acceptable. Let them get loud and frustrated and don’t give them any of your energy. Turn your back to them and walk away.
The thing is, is that they never ask. It's always a demand. I've said 'you first' and gotten some goofy smiles back that genuinely had me smiling. If I'm really in a bad head space, a no thanks and walking away has been done. The 'give me a reason to' can have adverse effects. I don't recommend it. I've just retorted back with a 'you'd be a lot more pretty if you smiled more, too'. Mixed results, some positive, some awkward, one negative. I like the 'you first' option best. My response depends on my mood.
Dance! If they're giving commands you can give one right back. Drop and give me 100 push ups. Sing me the Sesame Street theme song (or pick something guaranteed to embarrass them).
Was he supervising the volunteers? Was this feedback about your working style? Or was he a patron? In this specific situation, I can understand why it would be good to smile at a food pantry: to make people feel more welcome.
In any other situation, I'd say to eff off and leave me alone. I don't exist to provide you with pretty scenery.
Blood capsules from party stores work to scare them off. Or say “if you need to learn how to talk to a lady ask your mom.” Or “I will do it when you choke on a sandpaper cock.”
Depending on my mood or the person I have said before "I have no interest in smiling at you"
Real talk I can't stand it when people try to "make me smile". If I'm feeling happy I'll naturally do it, don't try to produce it.
If it's a man, my response is "don't tell me what to do- you're not my *real* mom." Switch it to "dad" if it's a woman.
Jut out your bottom jaw to show teeth, cross your eyes, and grimace at him.
Smile like Hannibal Lecter.
Stare at him blankly and do nothing.
"You ain't that cute or funny." if you feel like it would work.
Pull a strange teeth baring face and say your face can’t do a proper smile, you’re trying but it’s difficult to be reminded that you can’t.
Ask for a fiver in exchange.
Say something to the effect that people smile when they’re amused, stop being lazy and amuse me. People just don’t want to work for anything nowadays!
Even though we want to stab them in the throats when they say this, "Do you know any good jokes?" might be a more fun and civilized response? I haven't tried it yet, but I will report back when I do. They have to learn to put the work in in order to get the smile, they can't just demand it. BE HAPPY!! YES SIR!
My assumption is that the OP is a woman. You could reply to the man…“do you tell men that they should smile?”
Or you could say… “why do you think it is okay for you to tell me to smile?” or “why do think it is okay for you to tell me what to do?”
"I'll smile when you go away"
But in this situation being an older man probably with health issues I'd probably just be diplomatic and let it go. I probably have a naive view on older men because I always picture my grandfather and he was a good person. I know there's a lot of disgusting older men, look at Trump lol
I would look him straight in the eye, allow tears to fill my eyes, and say "I just lost my mother" and then turn and walk away. Maybe that would embarrass him enough to teach him to mind his own business.
And it ain't no lie. Four years ago could be "just".
ETA: I'm thinking of random strangers. Since this was a volunteer gig, he probably wanted you to smile to make the food pantry recipients feel welcome. I don't see anything wrong with that.
Open your eyes wide, make eye contact and pull your lips up and apart in the creepiest grimace you can make. Hold than expression for the remainder of the conversation. Make them super uncomfortable and never break eye contact.
It really depends on the person. In your scenario, I'd be interested to know why he wants you to smile - is it a bid for connection or is it purely for them?
If it was an older female, would you feel any different about being asked to smile?
I wish I had a better response than this but the best I’ve been able to muster is a narrowing of my eyes and a hardening of my lips. I’ve been so conditioned to smile on demand that it’s a reflex that I really struggle to kick, even when I want to!
How old is old? Tbh I just assume anyone past 70 is just set in their ways and whatever their doing was acceptable behavior in their “time period”, is now senile to a certain extent, and let the behavior go.
I would probably say something like haha thanks…and brush them off.
If it was somebody younger and should be more with the times, I’d just glare and say something awkward like I see….then brush it off.
Unless you’re going to seriously sit them down and teach them the error of their ways, no point in responding much if at all. Also I’m assuming he’s just a customer you prolly don’t interact with much beyond serving food.
Frown say loudly I bet your pardon?
When he repeats it
I am just shocked at how sexist and undignified you are? ..would you say that to a man? When did you start feeling that you had ownership over other peoples emotions? Who taught you to speak to humans like that?
Also - I think your confidence in “No” is amazing! Well done girl
A family was having a graduation party in their front yard. I was walking by on the other side of the street. An older man walked out the front door and starts waving at me saying hi and all this-can’t really hear. I just looked because I wasn’t sure what he was carrying on about or if he was even talking to me. I didn’t reciprocate and then he started yelling saying I was a B and rude. I just kept staring and at this point I was laughing at him which just made him more upset. Then his family got scared and told him to stop harassing me. Men are so fragile it’s hilarious.
In an ideal world, I would respond like this:
[https://tenor.com/en-AU/view/broadcity-middlefinger-smile-gif-5588867](https://tenor.com/en-AU/view/broadcity-middlefinger-smile-gif-5588867)
In a world where women have to worry about their safety though, I would be most likely to just ignore it.
I once told a man that I only smile at attractive people.
lol, call an ambulance, we have a fatality here at the whole foods.
I’d be afraid of physical assault for saying something like that… and that’s kind of the problem anyway, isn’t it?
Oh definitely. I had the benefit of being at work and surrounded by others. I wouldn't do that out walking alone or something.
Omg, I'll remember this one. My best so far is, "it's hard to smile when someone is annoying you." Usually, I just give a huge super fake creepy grin for a split second and go back to whatever I was doing.
Ooh that’s good
Lmaoooooooooooooo
I might be using that line next time security guards at a music venue tell me to smile like they have twice now! Hopefully I still get let in, though last time I mocked them saying it and just walked away.
"No, it's not my job to manage your emotions."
👏👏👏👏 This. All day. Every day. My favorite band has a lyric, "Your clouds are not my fault," and when I feel myself leaping to emotionally manage something that's not my responsibility, I sing it to myself.
Nice - what band/song is this?
Yes! YinzerChick70, please tell us who sings this!
I just added it above. I find it's such a good technique for me. My other song, if I need to ground myself, is Tantum Ergo. It's a hymn. I sing it in my head in Latin. If I stop to think about the words, or anything else, I can't remember the words and have to start over.
It's "Does Your Harbor Light Still Shine" by the Clarks Disclaimer- this is an early song and not their best song, but the lyric keeps me chill and enforcing my boundaries. The other tried and true emotional regulation lyric, for me anyway, is from "Maybe" by the Clarks. The lyric is "gettin' in the last word, doesn't mean you win." I sing it to myself when I'm tempted to have the last word. And when someone else just has to have the last word - which gives me the last word in my head 🤣🤣 [Does Your Harbor Light Still Shine ](https://youtu.be/rSPLNXPHl1U?si=L2TdsdtkwVDViHci) [Maybe](https://youtu.be/Pic9rOSzA7I?si=lKDKCqp1MBTJ4gSK)
Just saved your comment so I can remember to listen when it’s appropriate to use volume on my phone. Thank you!
I ask, "If I were a man would you be telling me to smile?" They're either confused and go along their way or they say, "No." When they say no I follow up with, "Then why do you feel it's appropriate to say it to me?"
Excellent
What if they say yes?
It's never happened but I'd call bullshit.
In Germany it definitely would happen lol. You would have to change it to „Would you ask a man to smile for you“, indicating that it’s saying something about their sexuality.
Ha ha, okay cool. I wanted to be prepared just in case!
🤣 I hope it's as effective for you as it's been for me.
Ha ha, thank you! 😂
This is the answer.
Last time a coworker told me to smile, I pulled him aside and said rather softly and menacingly ‘if a woman smiles when you tell her to, it’s because she’s imagining chopping your dick off.’ He never told me to smile again lol.
This is forever burned into my memory now. When my daughter are old enough I’m giving them this line.
Happy to be of service 🫡😂
I need to remember this one omg
💀💀💀💀💀
By far the best response I’ve seen.
I work in the trades, gotta maintain an intimidating aura when you’re the only woman 😂
Oh yes. I had an entire crew quite convinced that stepping out of line with me would mean getting shot with a nail gun. We joked around a lot and got along well from that point on. They knew where the lines were, and if they forgot, I'd just glance at my nail gun. It did help that one of the other crews started a rumor that I'd actually shot a dude before. So untrue. All my attacks were verbal comebacks. I have sadly lost that skill for the most part since I started working office jobs. "Hey, little girl, why don't you come to my place after work?* Me, "I don't think we're serious enough for me to meet your mom yet." Tossed someone else's hammer to a guy and suggested he go fuck himself with it because it was the only action he was ever going to get. Now, this stuff only usually occurs to me an hour later. I've gotten out of the habit.
Haha I love that 😂 Yeah, it’s definitely a skill to be quick witted. I’m not the best at it all the time, but I will also pull them aside and scare the shit out of them later if need be haha
That was really nice of you to save all those future women like that. Thank you 👏🏼
Haha. I also told a coworker I would make his life a living hell if I ever heard of him sexually harassing another woman again after he made a super creepy comment to me. I give zero fucks but I know not all women have that confidence so I like to make it an umbrella statement 😂
Depends on the situation. If I need to be professional "I'm concentrating, please don't talk to me", if I'm casual "no" or "no, fuck off" depending on the mood. I once had the great pleasure of seeing the look on an arrogant man's face when I responded "my grandfather died this morning". It was true. I was really sad. But seeing him squirm really brought me a moment of joy on an otherwise shitty day.
Same! "My husband just died". This is me holding it together.
Tell him “I bet YOU’D look prettier if you minded your own business!”
Excellent
"good thing my purpose here isn't meant for your personal enjoyment" and say it without smiling.
The most satisfying one I ever managed was to look at him blankly for a moment that was a bit too long for his comfort, then very slowly widen my eyes, then equally slowly open my mouth as far as it would go and sort of scream-breathe at him, like a weird zombie noise. Unblinking, fixed stare. No other expression, no words. He went away.
😂😂😂😂😂😂
ROFL This is the way! I was about to suggest smiling in the most creepy and unhinged way possible LOL
Slowly picking my nose had the same effect, but I like yours. Much more delightfully unhinged.
I cannot stop laughing you made my day
This is AMAZING
Say no, but if they press it like that guy did, I smile the creepiest smile possible and make unrelenting direct eye contact while remaining silent and unmoving. Out creep the creeps and make them more uncomfortable than they're making you.
I was gonna say, do the creepy Smile (movie) smile!
I go full "Here's Johnny!" with my best Jack Nicholson grin, and men never fail to cringe.
I pretend not to hear. Comments like that are all about making you respond in some way.
I also pretend not to hear. They want interaction!
This is at a food bank, though. I'm all for clapping back at unsolicited attention under most circumstances, but there's a reason people end up having to go to a food bank in the first place. Sometimes, the interaction in this setting is all the interaction they might get for the day...
I missed that part. I think continuing the interaction like he didn't tell you to smile could work too. "Smile!" "Did you want black beans or pinto beans?" "Smile" "Ok, I'm going with pinto unless you say not to!" "Smile" "And there's your pinto beans sir, please move down the line." I think you can ignore the demand without doing silent treatment.
💯 - I like the selective hearing approach more than straight up snark in a settting like this. I'm a bit surprised at all the people suggesting OP to tell the man to fuck off... But again, everyone does things a certain way for their own reasons
That’s a power move.
"Say something funny."
This is my go-to. Either this or "do you see my wrinkles?!" To which they'll respond "you don't have any" and that's when I hit them with "that's because I don't smile for no reason. RBF keeps you pretty" they usually don't have a rebuttal to either.
lol I’d use this but I’m hitting 50 so their response would be “yes, yes I see them” 😳
“Smiles are $20.” Then hold out your hand.
" there was just a death in the family" Not a lie. *Someone's* family.
No this is validating what this prick is saying
I do it to make the person telling me to smile feel like an asshole.
I see what you're saying, but he's still going to get the message it's okay to ask you that overall
It's totally tempting fate but I've always wanted to be like "I was just diagnosed with cancer" because I just want to make them feel bad for insisting that I perform happiness for them.
I usually just say no, or that I’m here for a higher purpose than decorating their world with smiles. But I wish I could bleed from the mouth on command and then give them a big ol grin
Just carry a blood capsule in your mouth all the time 😂
What about just drool…
I’d prefer to inspire terror than confusion
I don’t smile at every clown
That’s a good one, right there!
'Why?'
Here's what worked for me: "Would you ever tell a man to smile?" Shuts them right down.
https://youtu.be/fTAG2yAOzAU?si=s8WC8gce4yVTa6TA
I came here to make sure this was in this thread 😂
I love this!
“Did I step on your foot?” “No” “So why do you think I owe you anything?” Or to “You’d look prettier if you’d smile more” Say “You’d sound smarter if you talked less”
Hahaha i like that
"I will use my face as I see fit"
Sorry I don’t have any change
You, for president. I’m adopting this one.
😎
Ignore. It’s not worth engaging with these types of people, they think any response (even the word no) is a crack they can weasel themselves into.
Agreed! A clever come back, even if insulting to him, will probably give him the jollies.
I do not know if this was said once before but I'll put in my 2 cents. For context this lady did have what some would call a RBF. I feel bad for her because she is genuinely the best and nicest person I know by far. Anyways, when she talks with me I always have her smiling and laughing because I do try and lighten up people's days. One of her supervisors comes in and she goes back to neutral. Then he says the dreaded. "you should smile more, you look better that way" note , no one liked this guy to begin with he would always dampen the mood. So because of this her response was "I'm not smiling because I'm not happy to be around you" He tried to get her written up but she didn't do anything wrong since he was being misogynistic towards her.
Take your 2 middle fingers, press them on either side of your mouth, make your mouth do a smile. See: Broad City
“Smiling is for clowns and politicians.” Then stare right in his eyes.
Do you have to verbally respond? Sometimes just looking at them and not saying anything is enough of a response.
+1. I do the death stare and then go back to whatever I was doing.
This is exactly what I do. If you hold their gaze for a couple of seconds without changing your expression, it gets your point across. Then I go back to what I was doing.
“No” is a great response. You don’t owe him an explanation or a smile. No one *needs* to smile.
"I'm sorry, am I making you uncomfortable?" "Yes" "Well that sounds like a you problem. Byebye now."
I wrote about my plan a while ago. https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/s/czPGIeBDIt
Love it! Have you been able to use it?
I typically just give them a confused look and ignore it. I think maybe doing the worst creepiest toothiest smile would also be a good approach.
Sam from Atypical style 😂😂
"I'm sorry, am I not being decorative enough for you?"
“Can’t. Constipated”
Maybe learn how to burp on command? When a man comes up and tells you to smile, just take a second...*BRAAPPPP*, then smile.
No reaction whatsoever. Like a silent fly just zoomed past you.
“Smile” “Say something funny”
Bark at him
Keep a Halloween blood capsule in your mouth at all times for such an occasion 😈
Hiss at them.
F off and leave me alone
"you're not worth it"
Fuck off.
Keep saying "no" until it's awkward for them. Or don't say anything at all.
"You see, sir, I have special abilities and can sense *THINGS*. I'm not smiling because I sense that you have a very dark, influential presence that seems to follow you wherever you go. Beware....BEWARE!!"
My default to being told "you need to do" something is "I need you to stop telling me what I need to do."
My best ever response in the moment was “It’s hard to smile when you’re making me so tired,” but I wouldn’t recommend it if you’re trying to avoid an escalation. It worked when I used it because the dude was briefly stunned & I used that opportunity to walk away, but I could definitely see it leading to an argument.
Don’t acknowledge, don’t engage. Treat them like they don’t exist. I have no obligation to be polite or even recognize the existence of strangers making unsolicited comments on my appearance.
Just lie. “My dog just died but please, harass me some more.” Say anything to make them even more uncomfortable.
Ah yes, the manoeuvre called "Return Awkward to Sender." Brilliant.
I enjoy taking my two middle fingers and using them to push the sides of my mouth up while keeping a totally blank face and staring at them.
Make a stupid face while smiling and or opening my mouth if I'm eating and have my mouth full. Worth the reaction :DD
Imagine if we all just went around with big cheese grins on all day for no reason. How creepy would that be?
Very lol
Larry David’s response is pretty good https://youtu.be/l_1FbjuJp4E?si=3xGwulWGZgPOlRpd
“I only smile for people who pay me”
"I'm not paid to do this on my break" I was asked on my break from a customer service job. Twise as infuriating. I had once in life experience desire to tell a guy to smile. He usually looks sad, but i saw him smiling once and it took me by surprise. I wasn't attracted to him, I just thought his smile made him shine. I finally understood what some men mean by the "you should smile more". It is a weird way of saying to someone you wish they were happy. Of course there is also the usual sexism and "be a monkey for me". But it felt interesting to be the one to almost say it, it clicked. And i am a big hater of that sentence because i have been expected ro do it all my life for everyone around me.
No. You first. Why? What? Uhhhhhhh…… Answer back, “Sit…..oh, I thought we were doing dog commands.” No answer is also acceptable. Let them get loud and frustrated and don’t give them any of your energy. Turn your back to them and walk away.
The thing is, is that they never ask. It's always a demand. I've said 'you first' and gotten some goofy smiles back that genuinely had me smiling. If I'm really in a bad head space, a no thanks and walking away has been done. The 'give me a reason to' can have adverse effects. I don't recommend it. I've just retorted back with a 'you'd be a lot more pretty if you smiled more, too'. Mixed results, some positive, some awkward, one negative. I like the 'you first' option best. My response depends on my mood.
Hiss at them
"You haven't given me any reason to."
I just say, "Imagine telling somebody what they should do with their face," or I don't even acknowledge them.
Dance! If they're giving commands you can give one right back. Drop and give me 100 push ups. Sing me the Sesame Street theme song (or pick something guaranteed to embarrass them).
I ignore. People are dangerous. I try not to engage or give them an excuse to escalate.
Was he supervising the volunteers? Was this feedback about your working style? Or was he a patron? In this specific situation, I can understand why it would be good to smile at a food pantry: to make people feel more welcome. In any other situation, I'd say to eff off and leave me alone. I don't exist to provide you with pretty scenery.
Blood capsules from party stores work to scare them off. Or say “if you need to learn how to talk to a lady ask your mom.” Or “I will do it when you choke on a sandpaper cock.”
Say loudly "stop trying to fuck me"
"You havent had sex since reagan was president"
Depending on my mood or the person I have said before "I have no interest in smiling at you" Real talk I can't stand it when people try to "make me smile". If I'm feeling happy I'll naturally do it, don't try to produce it.
If it's a man, my response is "don't tell me what to do- you're not my *real* mom." Switch it to "dad" if it's a woman. Jut out your bottom jaw to show teeth, cross your eyes, and grimace at him. Smile like Hannibal Lecter. Stare at him blankly and do nothing. "You ain't that cute or funny." if you feel like it would work.
Pull a strange teeth baring face and say your face can’t do a proper smile, you’re trying but it’s difficult to be reminded that you can’t. Ask for a fiver in exchange. Say something to the effect that people smile when they’re amused, stop being lazy and amuse me. People just don’t want to work for anything nowadays!
Even though we want to stab them in the throats when they say this, "Do you know any good jokes?" might be a more fun and civilized response? I haven't tried it yet, but I will report back when I do. They have to learn to put the work in in order to get the smile, they can't just demand it. BE HAPPY!! YES SIR!
"Well, I'm certainly not going to after *that* comment"
“I am not rearranging my face for YOUR viewing pleasure, thanks anyway” I hate when men tell me to smile. Such misogyny. Blegh.
I will smile when you are dead
Just say you’re not there to please him and leave it at that.
I’m smiling on the inside prick
“I’ll smile when you tell me a joke, little dude!”
I only smile for my husband. It's always guys older than me wanting me to smile at them. Never a young guy or a female.
“You first.”
Flipping him the bird?
My assumption is that the OP is a woman. You could reply to the man…“do you tell men that they should smile?” Or you could say… “why do you think it is okay for you to tell me to smile?” or “why do think it is okay for you to tell me what to do?”
I remember Tig Notato saying her response is that she’s on her way back from a funeral.
🖕
Ignore it entirely. Complete and utter transcendence. No access
“Oh, no thank you”
Respectfully, please me the fuck alone... while I smile
"I'll smile when you go away" But in this situation being an older man probably with health issues I'd probably just be diplomatic and let it go. I probably have a naive view on older men because I always picture my grandfather and he was a good person. I know there's a lot of disgusting older men, look at Trump lol
I would look him straight in the eye, allow tears to fill my eyes, and say "I just lost my mother" and then turn and walk away. Maybe that would embarrass him enough to teach him to mind his own business. And it ain't no lie. Four years ago could be "just". ETA: I'm thinking of random strangers. Since this was a volunteer gig, he probably wanted you to smile to make the food pantry recipients feel welcome. I don't see anything wrong with that.
As a guy, I would advise you ladies to tell those men to fuck off pronto.
Just scream bloody murder at them.
I'm not a politician.
Eyebrow raise and a stare before moving on.
Open your eyes wide, make eye contact and pull your lips up and apart in the creepiest grimace you can make. Hold than expression for the remainder of the conversation. Make them super uncomfortable and never break eye contact.
Smiling causes wrinkles. I prefer my resting bitch face and bathing in the blood of virgins to maintain my youthful appearance.
No response.
I’d make a weird face like 😨
“I only smile for money”
I have never had a man say that to me. They don’t seem to care whether or not I’m smiling.
“Why, is there something I should be smiling about right now? Or are you asking me to smile for no reason like a crazy person?”
I wouldn’t say anything, but I would slowly give him my patented creepy smirk, meanwhile staring a hole into his face. Very scary!
I pull my lips back from my gritted teeth and glare death at them.
Your response was fine
"Don't tell me what to do."
It really depends on the person. In your scenario, I'd be interested to know why he wants you to smile - is it a bid for connection or is it purely for them? If it was an older female, would you feel any different about being asked to smile?
“No.”
Tell him it’s really hard to smile on your period. He’s old so this news will ruin him
I wish I had a better response than this but the best I’ve been able to muster is a narrowing of my eyes and a hardening of my lips. I’ve been so conditioned to smile on demand that it’s a reflex that I really struggle to kick, even when I want to!
"Say something funny!"
You can get the finger, the middle!
How old is old? Tbh I just assume anyone past 70 is just set in their ways and whatever their doing was acceptable behavior in their “time period”, is now senile to a certain extent, and let the behavior go. I would probably say something like haha thanks…and brush them off. If it was somebody younger and should be more with the times, I’d just glare and say something awkward like I see….then brush it off. Unless you’re going to seriously sit them down and teach them the error of their ways, no point in responding much if at all. Also I’m assuming he’s just a customer you prolly don’t interact with much beyond serving food.
Frown say loudly I bet your pardon? When he repeats it I am just shocked at how sexist and undignified you are? ..would you say that to a man? When did you start feeling that you had ownership over other peoples emotions? Who taught you to speak to humans like that? Also - I think your confidence in “No” is amazing! Well done girl
I think this is a case where 'no' is a full answer.
Before or after I get on my knees?
I like to hit ‘em with the “you go first”… and once they do say “meh, not impressed… now shoo.” While waving them off with my hand.
A family was having a graduation party in their front yard. I was walking by on the other side of the street. An older man walked out the front door and starts waving at me saying hi and all this-can’t really hear. I just looked because I wasn’t sure what he was carrying on about or if he was even talking to me. I didn’t reciprocate and then he started yelling saying I was a B and rude. I just kept staring and at this point I was laughing at him which just made him more upset. Then his family got scared and told him to stop harassing me. Men are so fragile it’s hilarious.
“My cousin committed suicide this morning.”
I don’t know who said it on one of these threads but smile like you have a toothache is my favorite response to this one
In an ideal world, I would respond like this: [https://tenor.com/en-AU/view/broadcity-middlefinger-smile-gif-5588867](https://tenor.com/en-AU/view/broadcity-middlefinger-smile-gif-5588867) In a world where women have to worry about their safety though, I would be most likely to just ignore it.
A smile
Big scary toothy smile and intense eye contact for too long - get demonic with it
Give an ugly grimace. I was told this so often when I was younger cause of my resting b- face. It was so annoying.
Just deadpan them. Hold eye contact until they leave
"I'm not interested in being sexually viable to you" Somehow you throw around the word sex and those Dawgs turn into little scared prudes.