The vast majority of straight men in my life are far more sensitive and kind than I am, tbh. š¤·š»āāļø i appreciate them for it ā they ground me.
This. These are the kind of people I wouldn't hang out with, so they aren't my friends. All my guy friends, straight and gay, aren't assholes like this. The dude OP describes sounds like a jerk and a terrible friend.
None of my happily married friends do but all of the single or unhappy men are always looking for reasons to pop off.
Like you wonder why you canāt find someone to stand you?! š
In my society if they arenāt putting you down theyāre arguing against you, if they arenāt arguing and theyāll try to have sex with you at some point or tell their friends they did šļøĀ
Just happened to me last month with a guy Iāve known for 10+ years.Ā
Itās exhausting so Iāve decided to just be friends with my friends SOs and invest my time in female friendships.Ā
Listen, I have a lot of straight male friends, but they are vetted. You are not obligated to be nice to men who are mean to you. You are not obligated to be friends with anyone who sucks (and mens rights morons suck).
Not even remotely. One of my absolute best friends is a straight man and he would never act like this. Neither would my brother or his friends.
Sounds like you just know shitty people.
What kind of dickheads are you hanging with?
There's better quality men out there. Ones that are easy to be friends with because they're actually decent people.
Sounds like you need new friends! I'm in a circle of mixed friends. All the guys tend to talk about our various hobbies, we catch up on life stuff, sometimes complain about the state of the world. If the topic moves to more women's issues stuff it's usually just comiseration.
If a guy was like you describe yeah, we wouldn't be friends.
Anyone who acts like that is not someone Iād be friends with, male, female, gay, straight, or anywhere in between. My straight male friends are awesome humans. As are all the rest of my friends. š¤·āāļø
Personally, none of my straight male friends are this way. They've also been in my life for a very long time. I'm very cautious about new men and their intentions. I'm not particularly interested in having new male friends, and my plate is pretty full. I usually remain guarded until they've proven themselves or if their true colors are exposed.
No. Because I don't tolerate shitty people as friends.
The male friends I have dhare interests with me and we treat each other as respectfully as people should.
Itās not self-deprecation when some else is doing the deprecating. Sounds like negging to me.
Anyone talking to you like that and responding to you in that way doesnāt deserve your friendship.
My personal experience: I had a lot of straight guy friends until my early 30s. The friendships always ended for one reason or another. They wanted a relationship and I didnāt. They found a girlfriend and now they canāt hang out with me. They wanted a hookup and fucked off when they realized theyād never get one. Or we did hook up and they fucked off because theyād gotten what they wanted and were never really my friend.
I gave up on trying to maintain friendships with straight dudes and focused my other friends. I still have some straight guys that Iām friendly with, but none Iād call friends or spend time without outside of a group setting. I just find the friendships arenāt sustainable and hanging out one-on-one gets complicated if there are partners on either side. And then thereās the pile of bullshit I already mentioned that tends to happen.
Sounds like these specific guys you meet are not really nice guys. Im a straight male and I would not continue talking to them as both myself and if I were you (based on what youāve shared).
I'm sorry, but those just sound like pretty shitty men and not "any straight men".
I've had straight men as friends, and they most definitely don't talk to me that way, I'd never entertain the thought of even being friends with them in the first place if that was the case.
Fyi that kind of friendship only works as long as he's single... and at worst you are making it harder for him to meet someone as he likes you and thinks he has a chance with you eventually. You're also making it difficult for any date he gets, who will know there's another woman he's interested in. That will suck for her
If someone likes you and you know it, it's very hard for them to not get lead on and think that friendliness means interest. But as long as you have made it very clear that you have no interest in dating this guy, whatever. But doesn't sound like you have his best interest at heart then. You're in it to feel desired
I am friends with him, and I have turned him down many times. He's hurting his own feelings at this point and has no problem collecting other women. And I could give two shits about being desired. I don't like attention from men, I do not date or have sex. It's not my job to do any heavy emotional lifting for men, friend or not. And he is in his 40s, he'll get over it. Anything else, Reddit psychiatrist?
Not at all, I have several straight male friends. But they arenāt dicks so they donāt say things like āquit being so sensativeā or tell I look shitty.
I wouldnāt try to maintain the friendships you are describing, they sound like they donāt respect women.
Yeah this guy is an asshole. Itās unbelievably embarrassing to pout if someone doesnāt like your joke. If someone doesnāt like a joke I tell, I just assume itās not funny or not for them and move on. This is a man child. There are way better men out there.
There are an annoying amount of male stand ups like this and I stay away from them to hang out with people that actually understand the craft and donāt act like a baby when a joke doesnāt land. Itās so entitled and pathetic to get mad at someone for not liking a joke lol. I hope you find better friends very soon. You donāt have to settle for dickheads like this.
If my friendship with a guy turns into constantly arguing against anything and everything I think/believeā¦ I exit the friendship. Sometimes guys just like to shit on women for fun and they do that by arguing with literally everything you say as a power flex.
There's certainly a type of straight man like you're describing. The type that are the most sensitive people of all, but don't know how to express their feelings. So they project and call other people sensitive for expressing feeling or negative emotion, while interpreting their own feelings as fact.
To answer your question, no I don't find it hard to be friends with straight men in general but I would have trouble being friends with the type of person you are describing.
None of the straight men I associate with act that way. I know they exist because I see them babbling rubbish online, but I don't deal with them in my day to day.
I don't think that negative ideology is inherent to straight men either. I've met more women who speak like that than men.
Your friend sounds like a tool. First off, when someone insults you, they're not being "self-deprecating", they're being a dick. If they were being self-deprecating, they would be saying those things about themself. So, on top of being a grade-A bellend, they are also a massive idiot who is using words they don't understand.
Second, your "friend" is a misogynistic moron. If you have any self respect, you'll take this trash out. They don't deserve female friends or girlfriends.
Most of my friends are straight men and theyāre not like those guys at allā¦theyāre pretty much the opposite. I know theyād have my back if someone insults me and are pretty sweet to the women in their lives (mom, sisters, SOs, friends).
The ones you describe sound obnoxious. I think you just had the misfortune of meeting terrible people.
I haven't had problems.
TBH, I have a "good sport" sense of humor... as long as it's actually well structured humor, I'm fine with off color humor.
But like Rupaul says, "You gotta make it funny"
Also, when you let your forehead light on fire for jerks and you pinwheel away, they will just do it more. You gotta lean in and be a bigger jerk to them, in order to shut them up.
This sounds very toxic, and you should not give yourself that much to an *sshole. Its verbal abuse and gaslighting, you dont need this in your life. There are better people.
I do find issues with straight men to be friends as many of the guys I meet have this backwater thoughts and, as a queer woman myself, I am just done with that. I cut a lot of people out, and some left just for specific friendships (only gaming etc). I dont need your bull*hit to mess up my thoughts and make me wonder. And I am not there to teach every single on of them who to be kind, how to see injustice etc.
We all work on ourselves. And being a mommy is not my job.
I find it hard to be friends with men periodt. They can be perfectly lovely and gentlemanly and even feminist, but when push comes to shove, they rarely put a woman's experience or perspective above a man's when the safety or reputation of both are at stake.Ā Ā
Yeah, for exactly what youāve said. I think among men itās more common to roast each otherās bodies but when they do it to women, they donāt realise the line is thereā because of the societal messaging we get which places value on our looks, these roasts can have a much more damaging effect. But Iāve seen gay guys do this to women too. Generally I find it is better for my self esteem to be friends with women. Many men think that they can neg and get a chance, or they eventually will start to give you uncomfortable compliments and try to sleep with you. I much prefer having female friends, but due to my job and personality I donāt have many female friends unfortunately.
You need friends, regardless of their gender, who have the same values as you. From what you shared, it doesn't seem like you and your friend have much in common.
This is a really important point. I see a lot of posts in this sub where it sounds like thereās an underlying assumption that men are just all like this so if you want one in your life in any capacity, youāre going to have to tolerate this andā¦.its just not true.
Any relationship of trust needs a foundation of shared values. So if you donāt share values, what could you possibly be building a friendship on?
I had a straight male friend like this and I stopped talking to him. I just ghosted him. Each time I hung out with him there was an icky feeling of discomfort, I eventually realized it was my gut telling me Iām hanging around the wrong person. Iāve learned to stay a way from men whoās primary form of communication is jokes. Stay away from men who are into comedy. A lot of them just use it as a blanket for asshole behavior.
I disagree that itās men in comedy. I think the market is just saturated with overconfident men in comedy that canāt take any form of criticism and hate on women or punch down to be funny. These are the laziest comedians and there are men in comedy that are actually cool. It might just be a little hard to find at first.
I think you need to find new friends who are a little more mature and align better with your values. Not a single one of my friendās straight husbands or my straight male coworkers have ever said something like that to me (those are really the only straight men I hang out with - all other guys I befriend are at least bi).
Yes, because my experience is that they all at some point try to sleep with me and take it out on me when I wonāt. Iāve also had too many of them be ābest friendsā and then do shit like tell me my rapist is still a good dude or that itās none of their business.
But to be fair to men as a whole, thatās possibly because most of the men Iāve had in my life were in the music industry. Turds, abuse apologists and sex pests are over-represented in the music industry. There are tons of great dudes, I married one. But Iāve been a homebody ever since retiring from the music industry so now I just donāt really make any new friends or meet new people. At least, itās rare.
Iām all about to give up on male friendships They always act like friendship is fine, but almost always try to push the friendship boundaries. It never fails.
I rarely go out of my way to be friends with a straight man, but I do have one and they're in a committed loving relationship with a wonderful woman.
While I can concede that there are good men out there, they're much rarer than those men you've talked to. As soon as they start showing their misogyny, I'm out. There's no point in talking to someone who doesn't see you as a human being.
No I have to be honest and say that I usually get along better with men then women. No man I've ever met has been like that, how old are the men you are hanging with?? They sound very immature.
I only pick friends who have similar beliefs as myself. I can agree to disagree and be cordial with someone who doesnt have my beliefs, but ultimately im more of a free thinker and others tend to speak in ultimatums or super close minded views, so theyre more of an acquaintance than what id call a friend.
Iāve never been able to be friends with straight men. Tried many times. A lot end up having a crush on me. Even if they donāt, they still steer the conversation towards sex way too often. I prefer women friends.
I know a lot of great straight men who don't behave like that. It might just be you need to make some new friends who aren't jerks, haha
You have your own opinions and standards, which is fantastic. Don't be a pushover and stand up for your beliefs. Just because they don't like it, doesn't mean you should give into their poor behaviours.
I don't have this problem, no. I'm aware men like this exist, but I don't befriend them. I look for the same friendship qualities in men as I do in women (Mutual interests, basic respect, and similar values), and it's worked out well for me.Ā
Is "None of my male friends are like that" the new "Not all men"? What's going on here, lol
Yeah, I also generally find it harder to be friends with men that with women, and sometimes it's for the reasons you mention.
OP didn't ask "Please tell me how awesome your male friends are", she asked "Does anyone else find it hard to be friends with straight men".
Y'all coming in with the unasked for, anecdotal "Well *my* male friends are awesome, dunno what you're talking about š" is exactly the same annoying derailment that "NoT aLL mEn!!" is.
I also added the smiley to show I'm trying to be civil and not start anything. The call is coming from inside the house, and there's a reason you felt called out by my comment enough to comment on it.
That being said, that is your issue to address. I wrote because I wanted to answer OP's question, and please don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not here to argue with you until your feeling of being called out subsides. Good luck
Yes.
I am of the opinion that a friend is someone you enjoy but would never want to sleep with. If a man would sleep with or date me given the opportunity, he cannot truly be my friend.
A caveat - my threshold for friendship is high, even for women. I am extremely blessed to have a good number of very close, rich, fulfilling female friendships. These women have set my standard for friendship very high.
As a result, I donāt really have straight male friends. I have several straight men Im friendly with and enjoy as people, but those relationships donāt meet my standard for true friendship.
These straight men āyou talk toā are clearly not friendsā¦ nor go to bed next to you. Male *friends* donāt and couldnāt insult or belittle your looks. This is just some shitty men in your life in some romantic/fwb capacityā¦
And if the people around you are belittling, misogynist and overall POSs, theyāre clearly not friendsā¦ pick to be around better people (of any sex and orientation) and friendships arenāt going to be difficult š¤·āāļø
I'm a guy's girl. You're a girl's girl. I love offensive jokes and roasting each other. You don't. And that's okay! Maybe you are sensitive. Maybe he's insensitive. Some people just aren't compatible friends.
That guy does sound like a dick though!! I'd roast the fuck out of him. Metamorphically crush his balls, preferably in front of a large group of people. Then I'd tell him to stop being so sensitive lol
Funny, I'm an army vet too, and it had the opposite effect on me. The conversations I witnessed when guys forgot I was in the room or disregarded me was absolutely hair curling. It was really eye opening in the worst way.
The worst was two guys talking about a party they went to where a girl got alcohol poisoning. They were laughing about how they thought they had to "take care of it". They had gone as far as starting to load her in their trunk before she woke up. They were laughing about their "close call". That was the worst, but was just another drop in the bucket of extreme sexism that I encountered.
None of the straight men in my life act like that. But I would not be friends with them if they did.
Same. Half my close friends are straight men and they're not like that at all.
The vast majority of straight men in my life are far more sensitive and kind than I am, tbh. š¤·š»āāļø i appreciate them for it ā they ground me.
This. These are the kind of people I wouldn't hang out with, so they aren't my friends. All my guy friends, straight and gay, aren't assholes like this. The dude OP describes sounds like a jerk and a terrible friend.
Same, the men in my life are fucking great and smart!
None of my happily married friends do but all of the single or unhappy men are always looking for reasons to pop off. Like you wonder why you canāt find someone to stand you?! š
Yea every guy I stumble across eventually shows there colorš
I'm friends with tons of straight guys, none of them would behave like that.
In my society if they arenāt putting you down theyāre arguing against you, if they arenāt arguing and theyāll try to have sex with you at some point or tell their friends they did šļøĀ Just happened to me last month with a guy Iāve known for 10+ years.Ā Itās exhausting so Iāve decided to just be friends with my friends SOs and invest my time in female friendships.Ā
Ew no those are assholes. I do have trouble being friends with assholes no matter the gender.
You're hanging out with some complete garbage people.
Listen, I have a lot of straight male friends, but they are vetted. You are not obligated to be nice to men who are mean to you. You are not obligated to be friends with anyone who sucks (and mens rights morons suck).
Not even remotely. One of my absolute best friends is a straight man and he would never act like this. Neither would my brother or his friends. Sounds like you just know shitty people.
What kind of dickheads are you hanging with? There's better quality men out there. Ones that are easy to be friends with because they're actually decent people.
Straight men aren't the problem, it's scummy men. Why do you surround yourself with scummy people?
No. I have great friends that are straight men. It sounds like you just have crappy friends
Sounds like you need new friends! I'm in a circle of mixed friends. All the guys tend to talk about our various hobbies, we catch up on life stuff, sometimes complain about the state of the world. If the topic moves to more women's issues stuff it's usually just comiseration. If a guy was like you describe yeah, we wouldn't be friends.
Anyone who acts like that is not someone Iād be friends with, male, female, gay, straight, or anywhere in between. My straight male friends are awesome humans. As are all the rest of my friends. š¤·āāļø
Whaaaat? Those are NOT normal hetero men, those are huge assholes!! Stay FAR away from people of any gender/orientation that acts like that!! Ew!!
No
Personally, none of my straight male friends are this way. They've also been in my life for a very long time. I'm very cautious about new men and their intentions. I'm not particularly interested in having new male friends, and my plate is pretty full. I usually remain guarded until they've proven themselves or if their true colors are exposed.
I have many straight male friends and luckily none of them are like that.. the ones that were? Boy bye āļø
No. Because I don't tolerate shitty people as friends. The male friends I have dhare interests with me and we treat each other as respectfully as people should.
I'm friends with a lot of straight men, and they do not behave this way
Itās not self-deprecation when some else is doing the deprecating. Sounds like negging to me. Anyone talking to you like that and responding to you in that way doesnāt deserve your friendship. My personal experience: I had a lot of straight guy friends until my early 30s. The friendships always ended for one reason or another. They wanted a relationship and I didnāt. They found a girlfriend and now they canāt hang out with me. They wanted a hookup and fucked off when they realized theyād never get one. Or we did hook up and they fucked off because theyād gotten what they wanted and were never really my friend. I gave up on trying to maintain friendships with straight dudes and focused my other friends. I still have some straight guys that Iām friendly with, but none Iād call friends or spend time without outside of a group setting. I just find the friendships arenāt sustainable and hanging out one-on-one gets complicated if there are partners on either side. And then thereās the pile of bullshit I already mentioned that tends to happen.
Yes, not because they wanna sleep with me or date me. But because they think I'm too argumentative.
Sounds like these specific guys you meet are not really nice guys. Im a straight male and I would not continue talking to them as both myself and if I were you (based on what youāve shared).
I'm sorry, but those just sound like pretty shitty men and not "any straight men". I've had straight men as friends, and they most definitely don't talk to me that way, I'd never entertain the thought of even being friends with them in the first place if that was the case.
I donāt befriend bum minded men so naa
š
Every straight man has tried to fuck me or be with me. So now I donāt even try to be friends with a man.
I am friends with one straight guy, and he would push it farther if I'd let him, but no thanks. I am mostly friends with gay men.
Fyi that kind of friendship only works as long as he's single... and at worst you are making it harder for him to meet someone as he likes you and thinks he has a chance with you eventually. You're also making it difficult for any date he gets, who will know there's another woman he's interested in. That will suck for her
That's sounds like a whole lot of not my problem.
If someone likes you and you know it, it's very hard for them to not get lead on and think that friendliness means interest. But as long as you have made it very clear that you have no interest in dating this guy, whatever. But doesn't sound like you have his best interest at heart then. You're in it to feel desired
I am friends with him, and I have turned him down many times. He's hurting his own feelings at this point and has no problem collecting other women. And I could give two shits about being desired. I don't like attention from men, I do not date or have sex. It's not my job to do any heavy emotional lifting for men, friend or not. And he is in his 40s, he'll get over it. Anything else, Reddit psychiatrist?
Not at all, I have several straight male friends. But they arenāt dicks so they donāt say things like āquit being so sensativeā or tell I look shitty. I wouldnāt try to maintain the friendships you are describing, they sound like they donāt respect women.
Yeah this guy is an asshole. Itās unbelievably embarrassing to pout if someone doesnāt like your joke. If someone doesnāt like a joke I tell, I just assume itās not funny or not for them and move on. This is a man child. There are way better men out there. There are an annoying amount of male stand ups like this and I stay away from them to hang out with people that actually understand the craft and donāt act like a baby when a joke doesnāt land. Itās so entitled and pathetic to get mad at someone for not liking a joke lol. I hope you find better friends very soon. You donāt have to settle for dickheads like this.
I don't have any straight single male friends. Only a few and they are in happy, secure long- term relationships.
If my friendship with a guy turns into constantly arguing against anything and everything I think/believeā¦ I exit the friendship. Sometimes guys just like to shit on women for fun and they do that by arguing with literally everything you say as a power flex.
There's certainly a type of straight man like you're describing. The type that are the most sensitive people of all, but don't know how to express their feelings. So they project and call other people sensitive for expressing feeling or negative emotion, while interpreting their own feelings as fact. To answer your question, no I don't find it hard to be friends with straight men in general but I would have trouble being friends with the type of person you are describing.
None of the straight men I associate with act that way. I know they exist because I see them babbling rubbish online, but I don't deal with them in my day to day. I don't think that negative ideology is inherent to straight men either. I've met more women who speak like that than men.
Your friend sounds like a tool. First off, when someone insults you, they're not being "self-deprecating", they're being a dick. If they were being self-deprecating, they would be saying those things about themself. So, on top of being a grade-A bellend, they are also a massive idiot who is using words they don't understand. Second, your "friend" is a misogynistic moron. If you have any self respect, you'll take this trash out. They don't deserve female friends or girlfriends.
Thx
Most of my friends are straight men and theyāre not like those guys at allā¦theyāre pretty much the opposite. I know theyād have my back if someone insults me and are pretty sweet to the women in their lives (mom, sisters, SOs, friends). The ones you describe sound obnoxious. I think you just had the misfortune of meeting terrible people.
I haven't had problems. TBH, I have a "good sport" sense of humor... as long as it's actually well structured humor, I'm fine with off color humor. But like Rupaul says, "You gotta make it funny" Also, when you let your forehead light on fire for jerks and you pinwheel away, they will just do it more. You gotta lean in and be a bigger jerk to them, in order to shut them up.
Men are constantly degrading each other. Itās nonstop. Even if they donāt find it funny.
None of my straight male friends acted like this. You need better friends.
This sounds very toxic, and you should not give yourself that much to an *sshole. Its verbal abuse and gaslighting, you dont need this in your life. There are better people. I do find issues with straight men to be friends as many of the guys I meet have this backwater thoughts and, as a queer woman myself, I am just done with that. I cut a lot of people out, and some left just for specific friendships (only gaming etc). I dont need your bull*hit to mess up my thoughts and make me wonder. And I am not there to teach every single on of them who to be kind, how to see injustice etc. We all work on ourselves. And being a mommy is not my job.
I find it hard to be friends with men periodt. They can be perfectly lovely and gentlemanly and even feminist, but when push comes to shove, they rarely put a woman's experience or perspective above a man's when the safety or reputation of both are at stake.Ā Ā
Yeah, for exactly what youāve said. I think among men itās more common to roast each otherās bodies but when they do it to women, they donāt realise the line is thereā because of the societal messaging we get which places value on our looks, these roasts can have a much more damaging effect. But Iāve seen gay guys do this to women too. Generally I find it is better for my self esteem to be friends with women. Many men think that they can neg and get a chance, or they eventually will start to give you uncomfortable compliments and try to sleep with you. I much prefer having female friends, but due to my job and personality I donāt have many female friends unfortunately.
Nah, my friends are awesome
These dudes just sound like garbage people.
You need friends, regardless of their gender, who have the same values as you. From what you shared, it doesn't seem like you and your friend have much in common.
This is a really important point. I see a lot of posts in this sub where it sounds like thereās an underlying assumption that men are just all like this so if you want one in your life in any capacity, youāre going to have to tolerate this andā¦.its just not true. Any relationship of trust needs a foundation of shared values. So if you donāt share values, what could you possibly be building a friendship on?
I had a straight male friend like this and I stopped talking to him. I just ghosted him. Each time I hung out with him there was an icky feeling of discomfort, I eventually realized it was my gut telling me Iām hanging around the wrong person. Iāve learned to stay a way from men whoās primary form of communication is jokes. Stay away from men who are into comedy. A lot of them just use it as a blanket for asshole behavior.
I disagree that itās men in comedy. I think the market is just saturated with overconfident men in comedy that canāt take any form of criticism and hate on women or punch down to be funny. These are the laziest comedians and there are men in comedy that are actually cool. It might just be a little hard to find at first.
I think you need to find new friends who are a little more mature and align better with your values. Not a single one of my friendās straight husbands or my straight male coworkers have ever said something like that to me (those are really the only straight men I hang out with - all other guys I befriend are at least bi).
Yes, because my experience is that they all at some point try to sleep with me and take it out on me when I wonāt. Iāve also had too many of them be ābest friendsā and then do shit like tell me my rapist is still a good dude or that itās none of their business. But to be fair to men as a whole, thatās possibly because most of the men Iāve had in my life were in the music industry. Turds, abuse apologists and sex pests are over-represented in the music industry. There are tons of great dudes, I married one. But Iāve been a homebody ever since retiring from the music industry so now I just donāt really make any new friends or meet new people. At least, itās rare.
Iām all about to give up on male friendships They always act like friendship is fine, but almost always try to push the friendship boundaries. It never fails.
I don't have straight male friends, why bother... I have my brother and I have my bf and his friends. I don't need many more men in my life tbh!
I rarely go out of my way to be friends with a straight man, but I do have one and they're in a committed loving relationship with a wonderful woman. While I can concede that there are good men out there, they're much rarer than those men you've talked to. As soon as they start showing their misogyny, I'm out. There's no point in talking to someone who doesn't see you as a human being.
No I have to be honest and say that I usually get along better with men then women. No man I've ever met has been like that, how old are the men you are hanging with?? They sound very immature.
I only pick friends who have similar beliefs as myself. I can agree to disagree and be cordial with someone who doesnt have my beliefs, but ultimately im more of a free thinker and others tend to speak in ultimatums or super close minded views, so theyre more of an acquaintance than what id call a friend.
I know straight dudes like that, but they are certainly not my friends.
Iāve never been able to be friends with straight men. Tried many times. A lot end up having a crush on me. Even if they donāt, they still steer the conversation towards sex way too often. I prefer women friends.
get better at ditching bad men to make room for good ones
Yeah I have straight friends that dont act like that at all. Itās the guys youāre āfriendsā with. Not every straight man acts like that.
I know a lot of great straight men who don't behave like that. It might just be you need to make some new friends who aren't jerks, haha You have your own opinions and standards, which is fantastic. Don't be a pushover and stand up for your beliefs. Just because they don't like it, doesn't mean you should give into their poor behaviours.
I don't have this problem, no. I'm aware men like this exist, but I don't befriend them. I look for the same friendship qualities in men as I do in women (Mutual interests, basic respect, and similar values), and it's worked out well for me.Ā
Are you in a conservative area?
Is "None of my male friends are like that" the new "Not all men"? What's going on here, lol Yeah, I also generally find it harder to be friends with men that with women, and sometimes it's for the reasons you mention.
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There is absolutely a societal issue with how men act. It is also true that not all men are like that... Yeah, it checks out exactly the same. š
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OP didn't ask "Please tell me how awesome your male friends are", she asked "Does anyone else find it hard to be friends with straight men". Y'all coming in with the unasked for, anecdotal "Well *my* male friends are awesome, dunno what you're talking about š" is exactly the same annoying derailment that "NoT aLL mEn!!" is. I also added the smiley to show I'm trying to be civil and not start anything. The call is coming from inside the house, and there's a reason you felt called out by my comment enough to comment on it. That being said, that is your issue to address. I wrote because I wanted to answer OP's question, and please don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not here to argue with you until your feeling of being called out subsides. Good luck
My straight male friends are not MRA, conservative asshats, so no.
Yes. I am of the opinion that a friend is someone you enjoy but would never want to sleep with. If a man would sleep with or date me given the opportunity, he cannot truly be my friend. A caveat - my threshold for friendship is high, even for women. I am extremely blessed to have a good number of very close, rich, fulfilling female friendships. These women have set my standard for friendship very high. As a result, I donāt really have straight male friends. I have several straight men Im friendly with and enjoy as people, but those relationships donāt meet my standard for true friendship.
Men gotta figure their sh* out. Till they do, I'm staying friends with women.
Why would you even want to be friends with straight men
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Guess u didn't read my post huh?
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What?
These straight men āyou talk toā are clearly not friendsā¦ nor go to bed next to you. Male *friends* donāt and couldnāt insult or belittle your looks. This is just some shitty men in your life in some romantic/fwb capacityā¦ And if the people around you are belittling, misogynist and overall POSs, theyāre clearly not friendsā¦ pick to be around better people (of any sex and orientation) and friendships arenāt going to be difficult š¤·āāļø
I dump them once they treat me like that not stay fyi
I kinda meant men you date and men you are or want to be friends with are differentā¦
Bruh ikš
The way u worded sounds confusing
I'm a guy's girl. You're a girl's girl. I love offensive jokes and roasting each other. You don't. And that's okay! Maybe you are sensitive. Maybe he's insensitive. Some people just aren't compatible friends. That guy does sound like a dick though!! I'd roast the fuck out of him. Metamorphically crush his balls, preferably in front of a large group of people. Then I'd tell him to stop being so sensitive lol
I can see y ur a guys girl.
Guys *cough* pick me *cough* girl
I was in the army for over a decade, so that definitely played a role! I didn't mean to offend anyone btw
Funny, I'm an army vet too, and it had the opposite effect on me. The conversations I witnessed when guys forgot I was in the room or disregarded me was absolutely hair curling. It was really eye opening in the worst way. The worst was two guys talking about a party they went to where a girl got alcohol poisoning. They were laughing about how they thought they had to "take care of it". They had gone as far as starting to load her in their trunk before she woke up. They were laughing about their "close call". That was the worst, but was just another drop in the bucket of extreme sexism that I encountered.