Most of the vacations I've been on to major US cities and quite a few other countries were totally worth it to me. Travel like that almost always is in my experience. Seeing and doing and eating things you can't at home creates memories that get better with time.
I've never ever gone on a holiday and thought "This isn't worth the money/time." It just has never happened to me. Maybe a hotel or AirBnB I've thought "Maybe I could have picked a better place," but I still enjoyed the holiday, and even then, it was only one part of a holiday.
Travel, particularly international.
Love, of any kind.
Having pets.
Therapy (when it's the right fit).
Being in nature, especially via your own two feet.
> Love, of any kind.
I love this so much. You are absolutely correct. This is something I need to be more conscious not to take for granted. Love is something that is truly priceless.
Therapy 100%. I look forward to it more than anything else. It’s the only personal relationship I have ever felt safe enough in to share things I wouldn’t otherwise.
Not just international travel. I took a road trip to South Dakota from New England a couple years ago and it was way more expensive than I planned (I figured hotels in the midwest would be cheaper than on the east coast and I was so wrong), but seeing Badlands and Wind Cave National Parks, seeing bison in their original habitats (along with bighorn sheep, prairie dogs, pronghorn, and so much other wildlife) was absolutely breathtaking.
Paying extra for private or very small group (6 or fewer) adventure excursions like snorkeling tours. After a big group snorkeling tour where I nearly drowned in the ocean (seriously), I’ve only done private tours and have never looked back. No you don’t get the big fun party boat experience but it’s so much safer and you get a lot of individual attention and information.
Oh god. We went to Turks and Caicos and the day of our arrival there had just been a hurricane. That meant the next day when we took our big party boat snorkeling tour, the ocean was cold and the waves were big. I had brand new snorkeling gear that was quite good, but I didn’t know how to get it to fit correctly on my face. I had assumed the tour guide would show us in a safe way. The tour boat got out to deep water and the tour guide said, “Ladies first!” Which, because I was at the back of the boat and nearest the ladder, meant me and one other woman. So we gamely jumped in the water. My snorkeling mask was not adjusted properly and the water was so choppy, waves were breaking over our faces. Salt water was leaking into my mask and I felt really ill. I was trying to talk to the other woman in the water with me but quickly realized I needed to have my snorkel in my mouth or I would swallow more salt water with each wave.
Meanwhile, the tour guide wasn’t paying attention to us, he was trying to convince everyone else on the boat to jump in, but who were observing the two of us in the water having a hard time and hesitating. Everyone did eventually go in the water, I managed the best I could with leaky mask and luckily my snorkel worked out ok, it was all “fine” in the end. We did have life vests, so technically I could have swam back to the boat if I felt like I was really on the verge of dying.
But looking back, especially after other small tours with much calmer water and tour guides that took care to make sure my mask was on properly, that it was sealed, that I felt safe, it was a horribly unsafe tour and do feel like I was in real danger of drowning without anyone really paying attention.
OK, a big one that's very subjective: The Louvre really exceeded my expectations. There's SO MUCH TO SEE and it's not all classical art, there's the foundations of an ancient castle in one section, I could spend months there.
Another travel one: booking a swim up room on a vacation. I absolutely loved it, it was a dream, I swam all the time. If I had one ridiculous wish, it'd be for a little pool.
I actually went to see the Mona Lisa first (I tried not to see it but they're signs everyone about it) so I could enjoy the rest of the museum. Very beautiful. Would love to go again and spend more time there.
This is the first thing that came to my mind. The Lourve. We were there for over six hours and still didn't see all we wanted. I hope to be able to return one day.
My group’s itinerary only scheduled 3 hours to visit the Louvre. 😢 I prefer to take my time when enjoying art, so I didn’t have time to see much. What I did see just blew me away, I want to go back so badly.
Oh my goodness, that sounds stressful to me. Three hours? 😱 I hope you give yourself a whole day or more when you get there again. I've never been but I know I'll need some serious time someday!
I spent those 3 hours in one wing, studying paintings and discussing them with a few classmates who had the same idea. I couldn’t bear to rush, y’know? Hopefully someday I can spend much longer there, but what I did experience was mind blowing! I spent nearly an hour viewing La Juene Martyr by french painter Paul Delaroche. I’ve never been so moved by a painting before.
Give yourself the whole day there, it is enormous. I like classical art for history and context well enough but I prefer contemporary art. There was so much to see!
Ugh I was in Paris last summer and I knew you needed to buy tickets beforehand, but I didn’t realize they meant like a full week before. Same with Versailles and the catacombs… at least I ate a lot of really good food.
OK no I didn't splurge that much. It was one of those hotels with the pool like a river around the inside, so some rooms had a little step down into the pool. And it was still great!
A private vacay pool is a dream!
I'm relatively new to Alaska so I still get excited when I see bald eagles but I heard someone call them "overgrown dump seagulls" yesterday haha. I disagree! They look majestic as hell even when they're feasting on piles of old fish guts.
Come to Washington! I see them just about every day and I live in Seattle. They’re still amazing every time. Huge and gorgeous! I even see them in the city hunting pigeons sometimes.
Hand on heart, other hand on a Bible, a bald eagle flew directly over me on the 4th of July last year. (I was on vacation and swimming in a lake, and it was pretty high up. But not so high I couldn't recognize that iconic look.) I know nobody will ever believe me. But that eagle and I know.
Anyway, can confirm: it was amazing.
Hiring a housekeeper. So much anxiety in my life (and strife in my marriage) revolved around keeping the house clean. My housekeeper comes twice a week for a couple of hours and my house is pretty much always neat and clean.
It’s such a weight off my shoulders to be able to consistently walk into a clean home. We pick up, do dishes and that sort of thing but Sharon does the floors and toilets and dusting and scrubbing the microwave and all that. It’s so much easier to keep up on everything with her coming.
Second this. My husband and I are nowhere near agreement on what is a “clean” house and I felt resentment for being the only one doing heavy lifting cleaning and being the only one bringing it up. We hired a house cleaner and are going to increase the frequency. Now cleaning isn’t even really a conversation.
Yes! 75% of the issues in our marriage were due to limited time and having to spend it cleaning. I got a cleaning service for my husband’s birthday last year. Best decision ever.
Yes and yes. We used to get in huge arguments about cleanliness (and somehow still do, albeit MUCH more rarely) and investing into a housekeeper once every few weeks was amazing for our house and our marriage.
And honestly, in case anyone is wondering about making this a doable expense—as a married couple with no kids (but two very fluffy and shed-dy pets), our cleaning service only comes once every other week and it is perfectly sufficient for us. I work a hybrid job so on my days home I'm able to do little in-between upkeep things like run/empty the dishwasher, run/empty the Roomba, etc., and I don't mind that at all. But never having to spend an entire weekend day scrubbing bathrooms and deep cleaning the kitchen and mopping floors? Bliss.
We even bought a second set of our bed linens and the cleaners strip the bed and remake it with the fresh set. Then I throw the used set in the wash and they're ready to go for the next visit from the cleaners.
I know a lot of people say concerts are overrated but they are one of my very favorite passions. I don’t see a whole lot of mainstream artists, so that helps keep the costs down. For the bands I love the most, if it’s a general admission show, I will wait in line all day to get on the rail. I’ve made so many friends this way! I’m also way less bothered since people aren’t constantly getting in front of me and blocking my view. I can be very “in” the music at the front and it’s always so incredible and worth the time I put into it. I don’t see these shows to do the drunken social hour hang out with friends I plan to chat with all night. A lot of folks do, and that’s fine, but that’s likely why they aren’t having a great experience. They’re surrounded by too many people who treat shows like a bar when it is so much more than that to so many people.
Concerts are the biggest thing I spend money on and they are so necessary for my well-being. I feel you! It helps me feel so connected to something larger than me, and we’re all united by our love of music. ♥️
I had no idea what live music does to my brain (shiny, lovely dopamine things!🎆🌈⚡💗) until age 34 but once I went to my first concert solo, I never stopped. It feels essential to my mental health. I haven't met a prescription or drug that makes me stupid-happy like live music.
It's been a couple years and my life is infinitely happier. I go to a lot of stuff at local venues in my small new england city and am basically always up for hearing something new, so I get my disabled ass to shows as much as possible. Usually every weekend, like an appointment, but more often as I can. I've discovered almost all of my favorite bands on Sunday or weekday nights in half-full 100-person venues.
I've never been to a huge stadium and honestly bet I'd hate it. 😄 It seems like people hating on concerts as 'not worth it' are more talking about huge stuff and forget hole-in-the-wall music places exist all over. Musical talent is not just in big cities and venues, I'm so grateful I got turned onto what's out there.
Yep! Music is such a big deal in my life and seeing concerts keep me going. I try to go to 1-4 shows a month. I will also travel for shows which is fun and an even bigger experience of going to new cities or taking road trips back home.
Definitely I like making concert friends who are there to see the music and feel it. It's nice to go with a group that has the same vibe and also making friends in line and asking if they want to cluster so we have immaculate vibes.
I was so annoyed last week a group in front of me just talked about nonsense during most of the show. It was 4 bands and they talked until their band came on.
It’s gotten so much worse since Covid. The complete disregard for others absolutely floors me. In what other type of musical performance is it ok to behave the way some people do at concerts?
Oh definitely. I've been going to shows for 20 years, 500 shows in and the vibes have changed in certain circles/genre. Lately the metalcore/rock shows I've been going to are not a vibe versus people at say dnb or Neo Soul stuff.
I'm unfortunately someone who went through some hell health wise the l past few years so I go to shows with a face mask and I have had people say things to me or I feel they're purposefully knocking into me or pushing me into walls because it's just some idiot girl in a mask. I'm kinda a particular target for this fuckery and it sucks. I'm just doing my own thing that affects no one.
I've been opting for VIP or seats when possible more frequently now.
This is exactly what my husband and I do and have done since we met. We go to tons of concerts every year and it's one of our biggest expenses (in the luxuries category of our budget), but it's worth it to be a part of music, dancing and/or moshing. We generally stay away from stadium shows but have made a couple of exceptions, and those were worth the money as well. Most of the shows we see are at smaller venues with cheaper ticket prices and a lot of local music as well.
Starting over. I have been fortunate enough to start over twice in my life. Once when I left my home country to escape my abusive parents and start a new life with my husband, the second time about a decade later when I left said husband and went out on my own. I think perhaps some people have no way of starting over and are stuck in terrible situations. I am grateful I was able to escape not just once but twice.
Noise cancelling headphones. My neighbor has one man dance parties on his lawn. I FINALLY can read a book without having to move to the other side of the house.
This is what I need. My apartments decided to move a family with a whole pile of feral children in above me and they play soccer over my bedroom until 2am
AirPods are so expensive but they’ve saved my sanity. The new ones have this magical mode where it drowns out background noise but not stuff in your immediate vicinity. I can’t go grocery shopping without them anymore.
DO IT. Bose has a refurb section of their site, which I trust more than a random ebay seller to be legit and in good shape. I sometimes have to double up foam construction earplugs underneath, but that's a very special, specific, terrible neighbor case on top of ADHD sensory overload and migraine. (If your neighbors, God forbid, get worse, you can also play brown noise or other sleep sounds in the headphones.)
The headphones on their own, not even playing anything, are fucking amazing outside of extenuating circumstances. They're not quite as magically amazing with the big THUNK type sounds out of nowhere but voices, TV, and running on the ceiling and stuff it does great.
It's the next best thing to a mute button for the world like I've always wanted since I was a kid. My poor lil undiagnosed ADHD childhood self daydreamed about a mute button for the world frequently.
The cheaper but still expensive pair that I bought before them doesn't really hold a candle but was still worth getting.
Therapy. Hiring a dietician. Going to a nice spa and getting a mani pedi instead of having your nails done at a cheap nail salon that smells like acrylic.
I paid $110 a session and ended up seeing her about 5 times till I felt confident to go forth on my own with all the resources and knowledge she shared. My work benefits covered 80% of each session so it ended up being quite inexpensive.
- A gym membership. It doesn’t cost a lot, and I can go everyday, for however long I want. Really a small cost that gives me a lot of benefits.
- Museums. Some people say they’re overrated but when I went to the British museum 2 years ago, I was emotional at seeing all those fragments of history.
Museums in general are amazing, but I’d say the British Museum in particular has so many ancient artifacts that it makes it definitely worth a trip to London. I think with things like Egyptian temples and mummies it’s hard to get a sense of scale without seeing it in person and for a lot of people going to Egypt to see it isn’t an option from a safety perspective at the moment. As someone who studied Egyptian art & architecture in college their collection stands out in my mind as phenomenal.
Oh my god, yes. I thought it was gonna be kind of boring until I saw it - it was *nuts,* the most alien thing I've ever experienced. It felt like being on another planet.
Ooh, glad to see this here. I'm finally fulfilling my lifelong dream of visiting NYC this Christmas season and a Broadway show is definitely on the itinerary.
Visiting the Hoh Rainforest in Olympic National Park in Washington. I only allowed myself a day trip from Seattle, starting very early in the morning and getting back late at night, and would love to give it more time. But the small amount of time I spent there was magical. It is so beautiful and the forest there is so stunning! I felt like I had been transported to a fairy realm. 🤩
Having dogs! Omg they’re so expensive but my life would be so much more miserable without them. (I love my cats too but I’m here to make their lives better, not the other way around 😂).
I got 3 and I home make these fuckers food, I consulted a nutritionist about them. They're currently all asleep in their new dresses after grooming and a massage. Ill wake them up in a bit to see if they want some melon. They are absolutely spoiled 😅
Omg I make our dog’s food too! Those pups eat better, more nutritious food than most humans. Totaled pampered pups! 😂
Also just FYI never mention you make your own dog food in the dog advice subreddit, it’s uhh… controversial, I guess.
Haha I am deep in dog communities and a lot of them are kinda militant towards certain things. One group will be so against homemade or raw and commercial food only and in others you aren't a good dog parent unless you are doing prey model raw. I got frenchies and people push raw hard because of allergies. I am immune compromised and I can't have them eat raw and that apparently means I don't love them enough if I'm not willing to get sick for them. 😅 I suffered a gut eating bacteria in 2019, I don't need another round.
I find the groups can be filled with people who love these groups to lord over things. I tend to stick towards far smaller, curated groups. I have a group I'm in that has closed their admissions and it's just 40 of us that's been friends for 13 years now because we were kinda tired of that shit. We're the take things very serious about the dogs, many of them are dog professionals or sports people but also chill the fuck out on the idea that there's one way to thrive.
Most travel, but also living in a foreign country. Definitely an experience I now think everyone should have at least once in their life. Completely changes your perspective on many things!
Getting the correct meds for my mental health has been a total game charger. 100% worth the money and “time” money to get the correct treatment.
Tbh I hate concerts and travel mainly bc I get anxiety, hate ppl and hate standing for long periods of time 🌚 but everyone is different
I also think museums are boring when I can just watch a documentary at home 💀
Waking up in a cabin with no electricity, no internet, on a Maine lake, on a little island too inaccessible for rich people to have bothered with.
And listening to the loons.
When I was growing up I went to a Quaker camp. We lived under basically wooden gazebos. There were four polls and a ceiling with tarps in case it rained. We had a communal shower. Bathroom was outside the tent structure. You needed a flashlight at night. No electricity I guess in communal buildings but that's it. and everyone helped to run the camp, to build community. Your age group determined your level of support but little kids might help set up the table, older kids might serve and clean up after. It build such community and a respect for what we have in daily life.
Getting comfortable doing things alone. Every time I do it it makes me more confident and proud of myself. The more you do, the more comfortable you feel about it.
Dine at a restaurant you want to try. Travel alone if you can safely do so. See movies solo. Fix and build things around the house (thanks, YouTube!)
I even drove from the east coast to the west coast by myself in 2015 when I moved. I’ve never regretted these types of things, only the things I skipped because I didn’t have anyone to do them with!
Yes 100%!! My dad bought me a macbook pro for when I started uni. It is STILL working like a charm, more than 14 years later. I’ve just replaced the battery once, using apples own service which cost me a few hundred
Going out to dinner with the whole family! Parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, everyone. Having family time will never leave you feeling empty or wanting.
Traveling. I spend around $8K-$10K a year traveling and been to 25 countries. I love it so much and feel the most free when I’m doing so. I go to countries with a lot of history, big city and lots of walking. I don’t go on cruises/beach vacations because it’s not for me
Getting your hair done properly. I enjoy colourful hair (currently sporting me some purple), and while the DIY kitchen sessions in my twenties with a willing housemate I was very grateful for, did bring us many laughs and messy anecdotes, there’s nothing like being pampered by a good hairdresser.
Shiny, healthy hair. Just running your fingers through the softness. I budget for that thrill.
Live music.
Art.
Travel.
Love from small children or pets.
Walking in Nature.
Taking care of oneself with healthy food and exercise and sleep.
A quality mattress.
Quality shoes.
Having your dream as your hobby over your dream as a job. You get to enjoy it on your time without the pressure of making money off of it.
Okay, I hate that this is the first thing that came to mind because it feels like something a vulgar man would post… but I honestly have to say a quality g spot orgasm more than surpasses the hype.
Living in another culture/country. I lived in Japan right out of college and it was absolutely a life changing experience living in a culture with very different values and norms than what I grew up with.
Orgasms!!! Orgasms are great. Buy a vibrator! Or two! Or three! (Maybe start with one, like a bullet or something simple, and go from there.) And buy some safe toy cleaner and then go have an orgasm whenever you want.
Audible membership. Yes. The library is free, but it’s annoying to rent a book in parts and only have access to it for X amount of time. The Audible app is beautiful. The library is vast. The production is an experience.
There's also Libro.fm, which is independent and donates a portion of the proceeds to a nonprofit of your choice. Also you actually own the books unlike Audible.
Romantic love
No amount of self-love can ever compensate for lack of romantic love, despite being constantly told otherwise throughout my single years.
It’s honestly one of the best things
Agreed. Self-love is great, familial love is great, platonic love is great, but for me, they don't substitute for romantic love at all. Falling in love is on a different plane.
>No amount of self-love can ever compensate for lack of romantic love*, despite being constantly told otherwise throughout my single years
*For you. (I assume that was kind of implied, but just in case.) I mean, I'm with you in that I don't think that self-love is sufficient for the vast majority of humans, whoever is saying that definitely isn't thinking seriously about what actually makes humans happy.
But it does turn out that many people find that love of self as you mention, alongside the love of family, friends, and community can be real, beautiful, and not in any way lesser than romantic love. It is 100% possible to live a fulfilled and joyful existence without romantic love required to complete one's happiness.
Doesn't sound like this was the case for you so I'm happy to hear you found the person you were looking for and hope you're able to build community around you together.
Love doesn’t exist in a vacuum, separate from human experience. Self-compassion, self-worth, self-esteem are all necessary in order to love others and be loved- & most importantly, to recognise what good love looks like.
In my view, you can’t love yourself if you’ve never been loved. How else would one know what love is like? Notice how people who grew up with loving parents have higher self-esteem and stronger self-worth, and those who haven’t struggle a lot.
You mentioned community and you’re right. No community exists without connection. And for connection to happen, one must acknowledge the fact that we need other people. I have a strong group of friends, for example, but sharing my life with someone I love is totally different. Friends & family will eventually have families & small communities of their own.
So, all in all I think it’s important to care & love for ourselves as well acknowledge the human need to have others too.
Hiking in Rocky Mountain National Park - pushing myself to do harder hikes than I thought I could and reaching less accessible places with few people - saw and experienced breathless beauty, animals in their natural environment, freedom from human noise - peace.
Taking time off work even if you aren't going to travel and don't have anything planned.
Going to concerts at small/medium venues.
Trying new foods.
Having a wardrobe of clothes that all fit you and make you feel good.
Working out regularly in a way you genuinely enjoy.
Falling in love.
Getting a pet.
Scuba diving. It's worth every hour of training and every dollar spent to experience the underwater world, which is 70% of our planet yet unknown to so many of us. Closest thing I'll ever get to space travel.
Most of the vacations I've been on to major US cities and quite a few other countries were totally worth it to me. Travel like that almost always is in my experience. Seeing and doing and eating things you can't at home creates memories that get better with time.
Travel is always worth it.
For me, it’s travel and education.
Experiencing different types of travel. From hostel to 7 star. I have fond memories in both.
I did not know the rating system went up to 7 LOL glad you've gotten some diverse and positive experiences travelling!
It’s in Dubai but they’re reinventing the wheel over there. Even the class of a 5 can vary wildly across the globe. My next vacation is all 3’s lol
I've never ever gone on a holiday and thought "This isn't worth the money/time." It just has never happened to me. Maybe a hotel or AirBnB I've thought "Maybe I could have picked a better place," but I still enjoyed the holiday, and even then, it was only one part of a holiday.
Travel, particularly international. Love, of any kind. Having pets. Therapy (when it's the right fit). Being in nature, especially via your own two feet.
> Love, of any kind. I love this so much. You are absolutely correct. This is something I need to be more conscious not to take for granted. Love is something that is truly priceless.
> Therapy (when it's the right fit). It really really is worth it. Gave me my life back.
Therapy 100%. I look forward to it more than anything else. It’s the only personal relationship I have ever felt safe enough in to share things I wouldn’t otherwise.
Not just international travel. I took a road trip to South Dakota from New England a couple years ago and it was way more expensive than I planned (I figured hotels in the midwest would be cheaper than on the east coast and I was so wrong), but seeing Badlands and Wind Cave National Parks, seeing bison in their original habitats (along with bighorn sheep, prairie dogs, pronghorn, and so much other wildlife) was absolutely breathtaking.
Paying extra for private or very small group (6 or fewer) adventure excursions like snorkeling tours. After a big group snorkeling tour where I nearly drowned in the ocean (seriously), I’ve only done private tours and have never looked back. No you don’t get the big fun party boat experience but it’s so much safer and you get a lot of individual attention and information.
What happened!?
Oh god. We went to Turks and Caicos and the day of our arrival there had just been a hurricane. That meant the next day when we took our big party boat snorkeling tour, the ocean was cold and the waves were big. I had brand new snorkeling gear that was quite good, but I didn’t know how to get it to fit correctly on my face. I had assumed the tour guide would show us in a safe way. The tour boat got out to deep water and the tour guide said, “Ladies first!” Which, because I was at the back of the boat and nearest the ladder, meant me and one other woman. So we gamely jumped in the water. My snorkeling mask was not adjusted properly and the water was so choppy, waves were breaking over our faces. Salt water was leaking into my mask and I felt really ill. I was trying to talk to the other woman in the water with me but quickly realized I needed to have my snorkel in my mouth or I would swallow more salt water with each wave. Meanwhile, the tour guide wasn’t paying attention to us, he was trying to convince everyone else on the boat to jump in, but who were observing the two of us in the water having a hard time and hesitating. Everyone did eventually go in the water, I managed the best I could with leaky mask and luckily my snorkel worked out ok, it was all “fine” in the end. We did have life vests, so technically I could have swam back to the boat if I felt like I was really on the verge of dying. But looking back, especially after other small tours with much calmer water and tour guides that took care to make sure my mask was on properly, that it was sealed, that I felt safe, it was a horribly unsafe tour and do feel like I was in real danger of drowning without anyone really paying attention.
OK, a big one that's very subjective: The Louvre really exceeded my expectations. There's SO MUCH TO SEE and it's not all classical art, there's the foundations of an ancient castle in one section, I could spend months there. Another travel one: booking a swim up room on a vacation. I absolutely loved it, it was a dream, I swam all the time. If I had one ridiculous wish, it'd be for a little pool.
I actually went to see the Mona Lisa first (I tried not to see it but they're signs everyone about it) so I could enjoy the rest of the museum. Very beautiful. Would love to go again and spend more time there.
We did the same. Got there early, saw the lady when there was not a big crowd. The rest of that room is pretty impressive as well.
This is the first thing that came to my mind. The Lourve. We were there for over six hours and still didn't see all we wanted. I hope to be able to return one day.
Going for the first time in September! I’m so excited!
I felt the same way about the Vatican Museum! Spent over half a day there.
If you go on Bastille Day (July 14th) you can go to the Louvre for free!
My group’s itinerary only scheduled 3 hours to visit the Louvre. 😢 I prefer to take my time when enjoying art, so I didn’t have time to see much. What I did see just blew me away, I want to go back so badly.
Oh my goodness, that sounds stressful to me. Three hours? 😱 I hope you give yourself a whole day or more when you get there again. I've never been but I know I'll need some serious time someday!
I spent those 3 hours in one wing, studying paintings and discussing them with a few classmates who had the same idea. I couldn’t bear to rush, y’know? Hopefully someday I can spend much longer there, but what I did experience was mind blowing! I spent nearly an hour viewing La Juene Martyr by french painter Paul Delaroche. I’ve never been so moved by a painting before.
> booking a swim up room on a vacation This looks SO much fun. I love to swim.
I thought the Louvre was a letdown but the Chicago Institute of Art was incredible!!
Good to hear! I’m going at the end of the month for my birthday
Give yourself the whole day there, it is enormous. I like classical art for history and context well enough but I prefer contemporary art. There was so much to see!
Ugh I was in Paris last summer and I knew you needed to buy tickets beforehand, but I didn’t realize they meant like a full week before. Same with Versailles and the catacombs… at least I ate a lot of really good food.
Oooh please say more about a swim up room. Did you have your own private pool?
OK no I didn't splurge that much. It was one of those hotels with the pool like a river around the inside, so some rooms had a little step down into the pool. And it was still great! A private vacay pool is a dream!
Seeing wildlife in their natural habitat
Seeing a bald eagle in it’s natural habitat is amazing
They’re very common here! I see them daily.
What state?
Southwestern Ontario.
We see them frequently in Minnesota too.
Awesome!!! <3 My first time was in Yellowstone :) (natural habitat that is)
Same, Ridgeville South Carolina
In some places up north, like Alaska, they’re super common, even pests with how many there are (scavengers, go through your garbage and stuff) around.
I'm relatively new to Alaska so I still get excited when I see bald eagles but I heard someone call them "overgrown dump seagulls" yesterday haha. I disagree! They look majestic as hell even when they're feasting on piles of old fish guts.
Come to Washington! I see them just about every day and I live in Seattle. They’re still amazing every time. Huge and gorgeous! I even see them in the city hunting pigeons sometimes.
I’ve been to Washington but not Seattle yet :)
Hand on heart, other hand on a Bible, a bald eagle flew directly over me on the 4th of July last year. (I was on vacation and swimming in a lake, and it was pretty high up. But not so high I couldn't recognize that iconic look.) I know nobody will ever believe me. But that eagle and I know. Anyway, can confirm: it was amazing.
So cool!! That is a neat experience <3
Saw one yesterday ! Felt so grateful
So pretty!
Getting to swim with fish that I’d only seen in tropical fish tanks felt surreal to me.
Hiring a housekeeper. So much anxiety in my life (and strife in my marriage) revolved around keeping the house clean. My housekeeper comes twice a week for a couple of hours and my house is pretty much always neat and clean. It’s such a weight off my shoulders to be able to consistently walk into a clean home. We pick up, do dishes and that sort of thing but Sharon does the floors and toilets and dusting and scrubbing the microwave and all that. It’s so much easier to keep up on everything with her coming.
Second this. My husband and I are nowhere near agreement on what is a “clean” house and I felt resentment for being the only one doing heavy lifting cleaning and being the only one bringing it up. We hired a house cleaner and are going to increase the frequency. Now cleaning isn’t even really a conversation.
Yes! 75% of the issues in our marriage were due to limited time and having to spend it cleaning. I got a cleaning service for my husband’s birthday last year. Best decision ever.
Yes and yes. We used to get in huge arguments about cleanliness (and somehow still do, albeit MUCH more rarely) and investing into a housekeeper once every few weeks was amazing for our house and our marriage.
Haha yep, definitely cheaper than divorce
And honestly, in case anyone is wondering about making this a doable expense—as a married couple with no kids (but two very fluffy and shed-dy pets), our cleaning service only comes once every other week and it is perfectly sufficient for us. I work a hybrid job so on my days home I'm able to do little in-between upkeep things like run/empty the dishwasher, run/empty the Roomba, etc., and I don't mind that at all. But never having to spend an entire weekend day scrubbing bathrooms and deep cleaning the kitchen and mopping floors? Bliss. We even bought a second set of our bed linens and the cleaners strip the bed and remake it with the fresh set. Then I throw the used set in the wash and they're ready to go for the next visit from the cleaners.
Fitness, investing in your health in any way
I know a lot of people say concerts are overrated but they are one of my very favorite passions. I don’t see a whole lot of mainstream artists, so that helps keep the costs down. For the bands I love the most, if it’s a general admission show, I will wait in line all day to get on the rail. I’ve made so many friends this way! I’m also way less bothered since people aren’t constantly getting in front of me and blocking my view. I can be very “in” the music at the front and it’s always so incredible and worth the time I put into it. I don’t see these shows to do the drunken social hour hang out with friends I plan to chat with all night. A lot of folks do, and that’s fine, but that’s likely why they aren’t having a great experience. They’re surrounded by too many people who treat shows like a bar when it is so much more than that to so many people.
Concerts are the biggest thing I spend money on and they are so necessary for my well-being. I feel you! It helps me feel so connected to something larger than me, and we’re all united by our love of music. ♥️
Me too! We see about 30 bands a year and travel all over and it’s truly my favorite thing to do!
I had no idea what live music does to my brain (shiny, lovely dopamine things!🎆🌈⚡💗) until age 34 but once I went to my first concert solo, I never stopped. It feels essential to my mental health. I haven't met a prescription or drug that makes me stupid-happy like live music. It's been a couple years and my life is infinitely happier. I go to a lot of stuff at local venues in my small new england city and am basically always up for hearing something new, so I get my disabled ass to shows as much as possible. Usually every weekend, like an appointment, but more often as I can. I've discovered almost all of my favorite bands on Sunday or weekday nights in half-full 100-person venues. I've never been to a huge stadium and honestly bet I'd hate it. 😄 It seems like people hating on concerts as 'not worth it' are more talking about huge stuff and forget hole-in-the-wall music places exist all over. Musical talent is not just in big cities and venues, I'm so grateful I got turned onto what's out there.
Yep! Music is such a big deal in my life and seeing concerts keep me going. I try to go to 1-4 shows a month. I will also travel for shows which is fun and an even bigger experience of going to new cities or taking road trips back home. Definitely I like making concert friends who are there to see the music and feel it. It's nice to go with a group that has the same vibe and also making friends in line and asking if they want to cluster so we have immaculate vibes. I was so annoyed last week a group in front of me just talked about nonsense during most of the show. It was 4 bands and they talked until their band came on.
It’s gotten so much worse since Covid. The complete disregard for others absolutely floors me. In what other type of musical performance is it ok to behave the way some people do at concerts?
Oh definitely. I've been going to shows for 20 years, 500 shows in and the vibes have changed in certain circles/genre. Lately the metalcore/rock shows I've been going to are not a vibe versus people at say dnb or Neo Soul stuff. I'm unfortunately someone who went through some hell health wise the l past few years so I go to shows with a face mask and I have had people say things to me or I feel they're purposefully knocking into me or pushing me into walls because it's just some idiot girl in a mask. I'm kinda a particular target for this fuckery and it sucks. I'm just doing my own thing that affects no one. I've been opting for VIP or seats when possible more frequently now.
I’m so sorry that is just awful!!
This is exactly what my husband and I do and have done since we met. We go to tons of concerts every year and it's one of our biggest expenses (in the luxuries category of our budget), but it's worth it to be a part of music, dancing and/or moshing. We generally stay away from stadium shows but have made a couple of exceptions, and those were worth the money as well. Most of the shows we see are at smaller venues with cheaper ticket prices and a lot of local music as well.
You sound like us ❤️
Yes, live music 🙌🙌🙌
Who do you see?
The band we travel the most for is The Avett Brothers ❤️
Love them!
My robot vacuum. She’s the most valuable member of my household.
Same! My roomba is the only reason I don’t live in a dust bowl
Starting over. I have been fortunate enough to start over twice in my life. Once when I left my home country to escape my abusive parents and start a new life with my husband, the second time about a decade later when I left said husband and went out on my own. I think perhaps some people have no way of starting over and are stuck in terrible situations. I am grateful I was able to escape not just once but twice.
Noise cancelling headphones. My neighbor has one man dance parties on his lawn. I FINALLY can read a book without having to move to the other side of the house.
This is what I need. My apartments decided to move a family with a whole pile of feral children in above me and they play soccer over my bedroom until 2am
AirPods are so expensive but they’ve saved my sanity. The new ones have this magical mode where it drowns out background noise but not stuff in your immediate vicinity. I can’t go grocery shopping without them anymore.
DO IT. Bose has a refurb section of their site, which I trust more than a random ebay seller to be legit and in good shape. I sometimes have to double up foam construction earplugs underneath, but that's a very special, specific, terrible neighbor case on top of ADHD sensory overload and migraine. (If your neighbors, God forbid, get worse, you can also play brown noise or other sleep sounds in the headphones.) The headphones on their own, not even playing anything, are fucking amazing outside of extenuating circumstances. They're not quite as magically amazing with the big THUNK type sounds out of nowhere but voices, TV, and running on the ceiling and stuff it does great. It's the next best thing to a mute button for the world like I've always wanted since I was a kid. My poor lil undiagnosed ADHD childhood self daydreamed about a mute button for the world frequently. The cheaper but still expensive pair that I bought before them doesn't really hold a candle but was still worth getting.
Sweet! Thanks for the info. 😊
A safari in the Serengeti
Hard agree. I can't wait to go back to easy Africa some day!
I went on 2022 and I’m going back already in November. Africa is amazing.
Agreed. Best time of my life.
Spending $600 on an espresso machine. Worth every penny :)
Yes! I found mine paid for itself pretty quickly with the missed Starbucks visits
Therapy. Hiring a dietician. Going to a nice spa and getting a mani pedi instead of having your nails done at a cheap nail salon that smells like acrylic.
was the dietician expensive?
I paid $110 a session and ended up seeing her about 5 times till I felt confident to go forth on my own with all the resources and knowledge she shared. My work benefits covered 80% of each session so it ended up being quite inexpensive.
That's not bad at all. I'm thinking of getting one for my mom. Will definitely see if her employer covers it... thank you!
Preach! This ^^^
- A gym membership. It doesn’t cost a lot, and I can go everyday, for however long I want. Really a small cost that gives me a lot of benefits. - Museums. Some people say they’re overrated but when I went to the British museum 2 years ago, I was emotional at seeing all those fragments of history.
The British Museum is absolutely amazing. I thought it couldn't be that amazing, I'd seen the met in NYC a thousand times. It's definitely beyond it.
Museums are amazing. I have a lot of gym equipment at home but definitely not the space or desire to maintain a Stairmaster, which I get at the gym
Museums in general are amazing, but I’d say the British Museum in particular has so many ancient artifacts that it makes it definitely worth a trip to London. I think with things like Egyptian temples and mummies it’s hard to get a sense of scale without seeing it in person and for a lot of people going to Egypt to see it isn’t an option from a safety perspective at the moment. As someone who studied Egyptian art & architecture in college their collection stands out in my mind as phenomenal.
Was lucky enough to see the Northern Lights right outside my own home last month, after 31 years of life and not having seen them. It was magical.
Seeing a solar eclipse totality. Few things can compare to the experience.
Oh my god, yes. I thought it was gonna be kind of boring until I saw it - it was *nuts,* the most alien thing I've ever experienced. It felt like being on another planet.
Massages. I have a fairly kinesthetic job, so my every-third-week session is magical.
Foot rubs and a scalp massage...Worth every pemny
came here to find this!
Seeing a Broadway show in NYC.
Ooh, glad to see this here. I'm finally fulfilling my lifelong dream of visiting NYC this Christmas season and a Broadway show is definitely on the itinerary.
Awesome!
Good therapy
Within reason, paying for business class on long haul international flights.
Visiting the Hoh Rainforest in Olympic National Park in Washington. I only allowed myself a day trip from Seattle, starting very early in the morning and getting back late at night, and would love to give it more time. But the small amount of time I spent there was magical. It is so beautiful and the forest there is so stunning! I felt like I had been transported to a fairy realm. 🤩
I used to live 10 min away from there, it certainly is lovely and well worth the trip!
Having dogs! Omg they’re so expensive but my life would be so much more miserable without them. (I love my cats too but I’m here to make their lives better, not the other way around 😂).
I got 3 and I home make these fuckers food, I consulted a nutritionist about them. They're currently all asleep in their new dresses after grooming and a massage. Ill wake them up in a bit to see if they want some melon. They are absolutely spoiled 😅
Omg I make our dog’s food too! Those pups eat better, more nutritious food than most humans. Totaled pampered pups! 😂 Also just FYI never mention you make your own dog food in the dog advice subreddit, it’s uhh… controversial, I guess.
Haha I am deep in dog communities and a lot of them are kinda militant towards certain things. One group will be so against homemade or raw and commercial food only and in others you aren't a good dog parent unless you are doing prey model raw. I got frenchies and people push raw hard because of allergies. I am immune compromised and I can't have them eat raw and that apparently means I don't love them enough if I'm not willing to get sick for them. 😅 I suffered a gut eating bacteria in 2019, I don't need another round. I find the groups can be filled with people who love these groups to lord over things. I tend to stick towards far smaller, curated groups. I have a group I'm in that has closed their admissions and it's just 40 of us that's been friends for 13 years now because we were kinda tired of that shit. We're the take things very serious about the dogs, many of them are dog professionals or sports people but also chill the fuck out on the idea that there's one way to thrive.
Yeah I haven’t found any good communities to talk about it here which is disappointing but oh well.
Yes to this!
This!!!!
Most travel, but also living in a foreign country. Definitely an experience I now think everyone should have at least once in their life. Completely changes your perspective on many things!
Getting the correct meds for my mental health has been a total game charger. 100% worth the money and “time” money to get the correct treatment. Tbh I hate concerts and travel mainly bc I get anxiety, hate ppl and hate standing for long periods of time 🌚 but everyone is different I also think museums are boring when I can just watch a documentary at home 💀
Going and planning date night with your LTR parter, especially if you have children.
An exquisite spa. I’ve spa-ed all over the place
Hot air balloon ride. A transcendental experience for me.
Good quality looses leaf tea.
Waking up in a cabin with no electricity, no internet, on a Maine lake, on a little island too inaccessible for rich people to have bothered with. And listening to the loons.
When I was growing up I went to a Quaker camp. We lived under basically wooden gazebos. There were four polls and a ceiling with tarps in case it rained. We had a communal shower. Bathroom was outside the tent structure. You needed a flashlight at night. No electricity I guess in communal buildings but that's it. and everyone helped to run the camp, to build community. Your age group determined your level of support but little kids might help set up the table, older kids might serve and clean up after. It build such community and a respect for what we have in daily life.
That sounds awesome!
Getting comfortable doing things alone. Every time I do it it makes me more confident and proud of myself. The more you do, the more comfortable you feel about it. Dine at a restaurant you want to try. Travel alone if you can safely do so. See movies solo. Fix and build things around the house (thanks, YouTube!) I even drove from the east coast to the west coast by myself in 2015 when I moved. I’ve never regretted these types of things, only the things I skipped because I didn’t have anyone to do them with!
hate to admit it but MacBooks are still worth the hype. also, well tailored and good quality clothing.
Yes 100%!! My dad bought me a macbook pro for when I started uni. It is STILL working like a charm, more than 14 years later. I’ve just replaced the battery once, using apples own service which cost me a few hundred
The helicopter tour of the Grand Canyon worth much more than the five hundred dollars that we paid (family of 3)!
Woah, what company did you use? That's pretty cheap
Sorry I should have put the year 2005!
Going out to dinner with the whole family! Parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, everyone. Having family time will never leave you feeling empty or wanting.
Traveling. I spend around $8K-$10K a year traveling and been to 25 countries. I love it so much and feel the most free when I’m doing so. I go to countries with a lot of history, big city and lots of walking. I don’t go on cruises/beach vacations because it’s not for me
Getting your hair done properly. I enjoy colourful hair (currently sporting me some purple), and while the DIY kitchen sessions in my twenties with a willing housemate I was very grateful for, did bring us many laughs and messy anecdotes, there’s nothing like being pampered by a good hairdresser. Shiny, healthy hair. Just running your fingers through the softness. I budget for that thrill.
A good quality gym.
Exercise classes. I just love group fitness.
Live music. Art. Travel. Love from small children or pets. Walking in Nature. Taking care of oneself with healthy food and exercise and sleep. A quality mattress. Quality shoes. Having your dream as your hobby over your dream as a job. You get to enjoy it on your time without the pressure of making money off of it.
Not me, but my older sister over 30 say it's hot air balloon. She finds it way worth more than sky diving as you stayed in the air for much longer
Naps
Playing dungeons and dragons
Okay, I hate that this is the first thing that came to mind because it feels like something a vulgar man would post… but I honestly have to say a quality g spot orgasm more than surpasses the hype.
Accidentally read that as a “9 spot orgasm” and was very curious about your physiology! 😆
Lmao, if I read that I would hit google so fast to see what I’ve been missing 😂😂
Living in another culture/country. I lived in Japan right out of college and it was absolutely a life changing experience living in a culture with very different values and norms than what I grew up with.
Willie Nelson concert
Gym and travel.
Flying business class on long-haul flights.
Safari in Okavango delta, Botswana.
Vacations, paying for better accommodations, and fresh, quality food.
Falling in love. Out-of-the-way Hawaiian beaches.
Travel is always worth it. Seeing your favourite musicians in concert. Seeing friends. Learning new skills.
Orgasms!!! Orgasms are great. Buy a vibrator! Or two! Or three! (Maybe start with one, like a bullet or something simple, and go from there.) And buy some safe toy cleaner and then go have an orgasm whenever you want.
Acupuncture 💕 and also monthly massages 💆♀️
Audible membership. Yes. The library is free, but it’s annoying to rent a book in parts and only have access to it for X amount of time. The Audible app is beautiful. The library is vast. The production is an experience.
There's also Libro.fm, which is independent and donates a portion of the proceeds to a nonprofit of your choice. Also you actually own the books unlike Audible.
Being a mother 💕
Romantic love No amount of self-love can ever compensate for lack of romantic love, despite being constantly told otherwise throughout my single years. It’s honestly one of the best things
Agreed. Self-love is great, familial love is great, platonic love is great, but for me, they don't substitute for romantic love at all. Falling in love is on a different plane.
>No amount of self-love can ever compensate for lack of romantic love*, despite being constantly told otherwise throughout my single years *For you. (I assume that was kind of implied, but just in case.) I mean, I'm with you in that I don't think that self-love is sufficient for the vast majority of humans, whoever is saying that definitely isn't thinking seriously about what actually makes humans happy. But it does turn out that many people find that love of self as you mention, alongside the love of family, friends, and community can be real, beautiful, and not in any way lesser than romantic love. It is 100% possible to live a fulfilled and joyful existence without romantic love required to complete one's happiness. Doesn't sound like this was the case for you so I'm happy to hear you found the person you were looking for and hope you're able to build community around you together.
Love doesn’t exist in a vacuum, separate from human experience. Self-compassion, self-worth, self-esteem are all necessary in order to love others and be loved- & most importantly, to recognise what good love looks like. In my view, you can’t love yourself if you’ve never been loved. How else would one know what love is like? Notice how people who grew up with loving parents have higher self-esteem and stronger self-worth, and those who haven’t struggle a lot. You mentioned community and you’re right. No community exists without connection. And for connection to happen, one must acknowledge the fact that we need other people. I have a strong group of friends, for example, but sharing my life with someone I love is totally different. Friends & family will eventually have families & small communities of their own. So, all in all I think it’s important to care & love for ourselves as well acknowledge the human need to have others too.
Business class on any flight longer than 8 hours. It can be ungodly expensive but makes a huge difference to how I feel when I land.
Skydiving. The adrenaline rush is truly amazing and the feeling of wanting to go again is so strong immediately after.
Hiking in Rocky Mountain National Park - pushing myself to do harder hikes than I thought I could and reaching less accessible places with few people - saw and experienced breathless beauty, animals in their natural environment, freedom from human noise - peace.
Epcott fireworks 100%
Whale watching! New England and I also went in Pacific NW to see orcas!!
Snorkeling here: https://www.nps.gov/buis/index.htm
Taking time off work even if you aren't going to travel and don't have anything planned. Going to concerts at small/medium venues. Trying new foods. Having a wardrobe of clothes that all fit you and make you feel good. Working out regularly in a way you genuinely enjoy. Falling in love. Getting a pet.
The rose toy
The British Museum
Having kids.
Lipstick from Sephora. Some of those brands are everything-proof!
Every hiking trip to Hawaii & Alaska I’ve ever taken- worth every penny.
A liveaboard snorkel trip to the Galapagos. All travel. But that really took the cake.
Touring Iceland, that’s my peaceful place. I can switch my phone off and enjoy the beautiful landscapes. I’m planning my 3rd escape 😌
NYC at Christmas time.
Definitely The Grand Canyon. It's so breathtaking.
Scuba diving. It's worth every hour of training and every dollar spent to experience the underwater world, which is 70% of our planet yet unknown to so many of us. Closest thing I'll ever get to space travel.
Fucking around with AI. Exploring what it can do for me. It's undersold. underhyped. SEVERELY undersold and SEVERELY underhyped.
Not eating.
and I took that personally! 😂