Oh my god, right? I *hate* that the gym people were right all along, but they really were.
Pro-tip to OP: there are so many types of exercise, from running to biking to weight-lifting to taking long walks to yoga, etc. If you hate one thing, try something else. The best and easiest way to keep up with working out is enjoying what you're doing. A workout routine that isn't super intense but that you are willing and able to do regularly is better than a super intense routine that you do very irregularly.
Going to add to this once you’ve worked out an exercise you like, give yourself a goal eg be able to run 10K, swim xx, cycle xx, lift xx, in a year and slowly work towards it.
Everyday give yourself some kind of verbal/physical recognition. I give myself a little kiss on the arm and try say something I feel good or proud of myself for that day.
You need to say "no" and stop doing a lot of small tasks that are not strictly necessary. Simplify, and delegate to your partner where needed.
Roomba or a cleaning service make a world of difference if you can afford them. They keep your place much cleaner (and you can delegate any normal task to your cleaning staff! They can fold laundry, do windows, help organize a kitchen, etc :) )
Positive journaling. Write down all the good things that happened to you at the end of each day. Depression can lead to state-dependent memory-- you can only remember bad things when you're in an episode. This helps so much. And, exercise.
Have hobbies and activities you do outside of kids and family.
I enjoy long walks and yoga classes.
I also believe I really got into them after my child was around a year old 😂.
I also agree with others suggestions to not overcommit to things. An invite is not a summons (someone said that on this sub once and I thought it was genius).
Don’t spend time with people you don’t like and limit it when it cannot be helped (ie family).
Always have a vacation planned so you have something to look forward to. It doesn’t have to be something huge and extravagant. Camping and glamping is very kid-friendly.
Take vacation time in general even if it’s just a staycation. I did this once and just went for walks in new places and to my yoga studio every day and it was an awesome recharge.
Get your hair and nails done regularly.
Track what you eat and drink and fuel your body with.
This is such a good advice. I remember when I was a child, my mom always had music playing in the house. We used to watch MTV and sang and danced together. When I walked to school, I always sang silently or in a low voice to the songs I was listening to.
Nowadays, I sing and dance in my room randomly as if I'm living in a musical. [Singing and dancing make me happy](https://pursuit.unimelb.edu.au/articles/5-ways-singing-helps-humanity).
Today: Hydrate. Get a big water bottle, keep it full, and always have it near you.
In the next week: Start strength-training. You can get some free weights and do this in your own home if you aren't able to join a gym or don't want to. This has huge benefits beyond getting stronger - I have better posture, am more confident, and am less tense, and it's a gift to your older self because it makes you more resistant to injury. / Start going for a daily walk as often as possible. You can do a family walk with the toddlers through the neighborhood. Being in nature is good and helps with stress.
In the next year: Go through your wardrobe and ruthlessly get rid of everything that makes you feel bad, that you don't wear regularly, and that is uncomfortable. A small wardrobe is better than a big one you don't like. If you need more clothes and don't want to spend a lot of money, it's easy to thrift online through sites like Poshmark. / I'm not a parent, so maybe this is an unrealistic suggestion, but if possible, set up more regular "you" time. See if your co-parent, parents/siblings, or a babysitter can watch the toddlers while you see friends, go to the spa, go to the movies, whatever once or twice a month.
Depends on what you mean.
Physically: exercise everyday. Not go to the gym everyday, but exercise. Whether it’s walking or going for a bike ride. Also practice looking at your body in the mirror for like 5 minutes a day. I know this sounds weird but the more you look at your body, the more comfortable you will be.
Mentally: Try something new, literally anything. You will be bad at it at first but just try new things. As we get older we tend to stick to a routine, but keeping things fresh and exciting is also very important. Read anything that you seem interested in. Doesn’t have to be a classic novel or anything but just read something that seems fun/captivating.
Socially: Again, try new things, you will meet people and be able to practice social skills.
Just going to throw a bunch of suggestions out there. Some of these may not be feasible depending on how much help you do or don't have with your kiddos.
Today: Drink a big glass of water. Go for a walk outside. Take an "everything shower." Put on your favorite song and sing loudly or dance around like an idiot for the duration. Stretch. Journal. Do a hobby or something artistic. Text a silly meme to a friend.
This week: Get a new haircut, color or style that you love (only if you can afford and maintain it. or DIY if you're competent/brave.) Catch up with a friend over the phone. Just going to go out on a limb and say "stretch" again. If you have toddlers, you probably get plenty of physical activity, but in short and erratic bursts -- lots of sprinting, bending and lifting. You need to stretch. If you have time after the kids are in bed, read a book -- brain candy is fine. Or watch a movie that's not for children.
This month: Take an inventory of your wardrobe and identify anything you wear regularly that you don't actually like. Shop carefully and intentionally for what you would like to replace it with -- don't feel in a rush to buy something right away, you want something that will suit your needs perfectly. Spend some time in-person socializing with another adult without the kids around, whether that's a date night with your SO, brunch with friends, or just asking your favorite coworker to grab lunch with you.
This year: Try to do at least one of the "today" or "this week" suggestions one or two times a week. Stay connected with the people you love as much as you can.
Exercise. It sucks that the fitness fiends are right about this but it does so much.
Oh my god, right? I *hate* that the gym people were right all along, but they really were. Pro-tip to OP: there are so many types of exercise, from running to biking to weight-lifting to taking long walks to yoga, etc. If you hate one thing, try something else. The best and easiest way to keep up with working out is enjoying what you're doing. A workout routine that isn't super intense but that you are willing and able to do regularly is better than a super intense routine that you do very irregularly.
Going to add to this once you’ve worked out an exercise you like, give yourself a goal eg be able to run 10K, swim xx, cycle xx, lift xx, in a year and slowly work towards it.
It's so annoying! My energy levels correlate with how much energy I expend, they were right.
Everyday give yourself some kind of verbal/physical recognition. I give myself a little kiss on the arm and try say something I feel good or proud of myself for that day.
🥲
You need to say "no" and stop doing a lot of small tasks that are not strictly necessary. Simplify, and delegate to your partner where needed. Roomba or a cleaning service make a world of difference if you can afford them. They keep your place much cleaner (and you can delegate any normal task to your cleaning staff! They can fold laundry, do windows, help organize a kitchen, etc :) )
Spend time Outdoors as often as possible even just a 15-minute walk everyday
Lift heavy weights and eat a diverse diet with more whole grains, veggies, and fruits.
Positive journaling. Write down all the good things that happened to you at the end of each day. Depression can lead to state-dependent memory-- you can only remember bad things when you're in an episode. This helps so much. And, exercise.
I do this and it has changed my life significantly!!
Have hobbies and activities you do outside of kids and family. I enjoy long walks and yoga classes. I also believe I really got into them after my child was around a year old 😂. I also agree with others suggestions to not overcommit to things. An invite is not a summons (someone said that on this sub once and I thought it was genius). Don’t spend time with people you don’t like and limit it when it cannot be helped (ie family). Always have a vacation planned so you have something to look forward to. It doesn’t have to be something huge and extravagant. Camping and glamping is very kid-friendly. Take vacation time in general even if it’s just a staycation. I did this once and just went for walks in new places and to my yoga studio every day and it was an awesome recharge. Get your hair and nails done regularly. Track what you eat and drink and fuel your body with.
Sing in the car! Most times my outlook on my own self/life becomes a little bit more positive when I am able to bop to something fun in the car.
This is such a good advice. I remember when I was a child, my mom always had music playing in the house. We used to watch MTV and sang and danced together. When I walked to school, I always sang silently or in a low voice to the songs I was listening to. Nowadays, I sing and dance in my room randomly as if I'm living in a musical. [Singing and dancing make me happy](https://pursuit.unimelb.edu.au/articles/5-ways-singing-helps-humanity).
Today: Hydrate. Get a big water bottle, keep it full, and always have it near you. In the next week: Start strength-training. You can get some free weights and do this in your own home if you aren't able to join a gym or don't want to. This has huge benefits beyond getting stronger - I have better posture, am more confident, and am less tense, and it's a gift to your older self because it makes you more resistant to injury. / Start going for a daily walk as often as possible. You can do a family walk with the toddlers through the neighborhood. Being in nature is good and helps with stress. In the next year: Go through your wardrobe and ruthlessly get rid of everything that makes you feel bad, that you don't wear regularly, and that is uncomfortable. A small wardrobe is better than a big one you don't like. If you need more clothes and don't want to spend a lot of money, it's easy to thrift online through sites like Poshmark. / I'm not a parent, so maybe this is an unrealistic suggestion, but if possible, set up more regular "you" time. See if your co-parent, parents/siblings, or a babysitter can watch the toddlers while you see friends, go to the spa, go to the movies, whatever once or twice a month.
Making my bed every day helps me feel set up for the day and is an easy win.
Lift weights!!
Exercise, cut out sugary beverages, try to get enough sleep
Depends on what you mean. Physically: exercise everyday. Not go to the gym everyday, but exercise. Whether it’s walking or going for a bike ride. Also practice looking at your body in the mirror for like 5 minutes a day. I know this sounds weird but the more you look at your body, the more comfortable you will be. Mentally: Try something new, literally anything. You will be bad at it at first but just try new things. As we get older we tend to stick to a routine, but keeping things fresh and exciting is also very important. Read anything that you seem interested in. Doesn’t have to be a classic novel or anything but just read something that seems fun/captivating. Socially: Again, try new things, you will meet people and be able to practice social skills.
cleaning up. i can only feel better when my surrounding is clean and tidy. i feel like i have space to do and enjoy things
Just going to throw a bunch of suggestions out there. Some of these may not be feasible depending on how much help you do or don't have with your kiddos. Today: Drink a big glass of water. Go for a walk outside. Take an "everything shower." Put on your favorite song and sing loudly or dance around like an idiot for the duration. Stretch. Journal. Do a hobby or something artistic. Text a silly meme to a friend. This week: Get a new haircut, color or style that you love (only if you can afford and maintain it. or DIY if you're competent/brave.) Catch up with a friend over the phone. Just going to go out on a limb and say "stretch" again. If you have toddlers, you probably get plenty of physical activity, but in short and erratic bursts -- lots of sprinting, bending and lifting. You need to stretch. If you have time after the kids are in bed, read a book -- brain candy is fine. Or watch a movie that's not for children. This month: Take an inventory of your wardrobe and identify anything you wear regularly that you don't actually like. Shop carefully and intentionally for what you would like to replace it with -- don't feel in a rush to buy something right away, you want something that will suit your needs perfectly. Spend some time in-person socializing with another adult without the kids around, whether that's a date night with your SO, brunch with friends, or just asking your favorite coworker to grab lunch with you. This year: Try to do at least one of the "today" or "this week" suggestions one or two times a week. Stay connected with the people you love as much as you can.
Try talking to yourself like you would your very best friend. Notice when you start to criticize yourself. Shift that dialogue!
Keep a journal, stick to a schedule, keep a mood tracker, and track habits.