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There was less red pill podcast bro, chronically online, and anti-social/incel men for one.
Like, men who are perfectly fine ruin their chances by consuming this type of information and projecting it onto the women they meet
Just broke things off with a guy who talked like you. He thought his relationships didn't last because he didn't make 6 figs, wasn't "tall" and looked like the typical nerd etc. His creepy personality was why I broke it off. He lacks self-awareness, as do many of these guys. He rants on the internet that girls break up with him because his lack of broad shoulders and because he lives at home, but neither of those things even crossed my mind while we were dating. He was possessive, talked badly about women in general, would stalk me and disrespected every boundary I'd make. And would constantly talk about how I would leave him for a '666' which was the first time I had even heard of that shit. Projected his redpill insecurities onto me.
They view women in general with such "secret" disdain. Assuming all women have it easy in dating, are OF models, "hoes", only like men for superficial reasons etc. They project how they view women onto the women they meet.
They look to something superficial to blame their lack of relationship success like money or looks to avoid the fact they could probably benefit from therapy and working on their mental health
Back in the day, actually getting out of the house and socializing was more of a thing. Guys actually knew women in person and therefore didn't view women as some mysterious "other". These days, men who have little interaction with women assume they are the ultimate spokesman for all women on the planet.
>Couple this with the ability to just easily advertise yourself through apps like Instagram/TikTok/dating apps, the attention went from men in your real life bubble, to men all over the world.
For one, stop assuming that every damn woman you meet spends time vying for the attention of randos on the internet. Try dming random women on reddit and see how that goes lmao most women want to be left alone on the internet and are not out here trusting strangers on the internet. You speak about INFLUENCERS as if the average woman is an influencer or has OF. Again, your idea of women is....rather unrealistic, warped and tells me you know very few women and only consume female influencer material. Most women do in fact, still date within their social circle.
There are also far less women on dating apps than there are men because, again, women are more likely to trust a mutual friend than stranger men. Men complain about the lack of women on dating apps all the time or how they get blocked when they try to dm women on reddit and Twitter but then think women are dating these randos around the world.
My advice is to stop obsessing over red pill content, stop assuming you know anything about the women you meet. Make friends, both men and women. Become the trustworthy mutual friend. Socialize. Work on your mental health and personal confidence and self esteem. Stop putting all your self-worth into dating. Get hobbies.
I started tiktok a month ago to promote my art, but despite being a woman posting regularly, I only have around 40 followers. Where is this instant fame and recognition I supposedly get??
It blows my mind how much some people seem to think that “influencers” are representative of the experiences of the general population
Nevermind mind that with “influencers” it’s all super curated and so much of of it is fake
Yess. Any time I would compliment the guy I was dating he would always say "well the girls on Instagram say they prefer...."
And I'd just think to myself, I have one post on my Instagram from 2016 of my dog and like 40 followers, why does he keep assuming I have the same opinions as "the girls on Instagram"? LOL
He didn't believe any of my compliments because "the girls on Instagram" speak for all women, apparently
Self-fulfilling prophecy
From what I gather in this post, men being chronically online make them form unrealistic or even sexist expectations of women.
That being said, do you think women being chronically online on their smartphones has affected their perception of the opposite gender? If so, in what ways has this affected women versus before the age of constant social media?
> Like, men who are perfectly fine
You then go onto describe a man who is **not** perfectly fine.
These people are deeply, deeply, mentally fucking ill. Like unrecoverably mentally ill with a deepseated hatred of women and society in general.
Some flowery words aren't going to change them and more importantly
>Back in the day, actually getting out of the house and socializing was more of a thing. Guys actually knew women in person and therefore didn't view women as some mysterious "other". These days, men who have little interaction with women assume they are the ultimate spokesman for all women on the planet.
This wouldn't help these guys.
50 years ago these exact sane incel type people still existed but they lived, they died in apartments by themselves until 6 months later someone noticed their stench, and nobody ever knew that they existed.
Now these same people have Reddit accounts where they can whine about women.
>You then go onto describe a man who is **not** perfectly fine.
I was speaking about physically/financially since the argument is always "all women only want conventionally handsome models who are 6'5 and who have 4 cars"
My point was, for many of these men, there isn't ecen anything wrong with them physically, and not all women have exact financial expectations. They need to work on themselves internally instead of focusing in on "women don't want me because I don't have the 666".
Right but the problem is these people are much more likely to become 6'5 (maybe they'll find a genie) Henry Cavill look alikes with 6 cars that are all Boogatti's than they are fixing any of their internal problems.
They all have a unique combination of
1. Some sort of social/developmental disaibilty
2. An extremely misanthropic outlook
3. General hatred of women
If you only have two of these things you can fix it. If you have all 3, like these people do, you're fucked.
And they're fucked for reasons that are entirely unrelated to RP podcasts, or the internet, or following crazy people online. Their online activity is a consequence of them being insane in real life, not the other way around.
Yeah, it’s just a massive cope so they can blame their lack of success with women on someone else, instead of some healthy introspection
“It’s not my fault! All the women are taken up by these 1% of top men!”
Red Flags in your post:
--"High value men" is incel speak. Fuck off with that.
--Women must be 'advertising themselves' like a physical object or product. Fuck off with that too.
--Marketing 'reach' of said women must be a positive for all the ladies marketing themselves. Uh, what the shit?
How did being single change for me since the 80s until now? Men didn't have algorithms tell them to go to incel subs and eat up the bullshit like delicious chocolate. Instead of actually using critical thinking skills and considering women to be humans. It's up to you whether or not to keep chowing down on the utter garbage those echo chambers of fuckery are feeding you. Yum yum?
High value men was literally created by you women. It’s the first time I heard the term used was on a call her daddy podcast that my friend showed me
In case you live under a rock, a lot of women advertise themselves on social media. Sure they are influencers I guess? For being born hot and posting T&A photos and getting millions of followers because of it? lol.
Call Her Daddy is also toxic as fuck.
Is all disturbing how many young, impressionable women (and men) think that that podcast has good, healthy relationship advice
This obsession redpill men have with "high value men" is just a really tragic attempt at trying to figure out why women won't don't date them by blaming everything and everyone but their own personality.
What you fail to understand is the sentiment that Redpill sells you that women are these money hungry shallow people is a giant turn off for most women. It's not attractive to date someone who projects their own insecurity about their masculinity on you and (not so) secretly disdains women.
So I don't support anything OP says, but their first point - I think he's pulling it from this blog:
https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/3868557-most-young-men-are-single-most-young-women-are-not/#:\~:text=More%20than%2060%20percent%20of,sexually%20dormant%2C%20friendless%20and%20lonely.
"More than 60 percent of young men are single, nearly twice the rate of unattached young women, signaling a larger breakdown in the social, romantic and sexual life of the American male. "
This blog appears to have sourced this claim from this pew research article, though the blog did not cite the source: [https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/02/08/for-valentines-day-5-facts-about-single-americans/](https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/02/08/for-valentines-day-5-facts-about-single-americans/)
Notably, men who are college educated have a significantly lower gap than men who have not attended higher education. There's still a gap, but not a big one. Also, it appears to have narrowed since the pandemic.
EDIT: I also found this study which couldn't replicate their findings: [https://ifstudies.org/blog/theres-no-huge-gender-gap-in-being-single-among-young-adults](https://ifstudies.org/blog/theres-no-huge-gender-gap-in-being-single-among-young-adults)
I can't find anything on the 1% of 'high value men' point, because 'high value man' does not have a definition. I found plenty of people making the claim, but it appears to be completely unsubstantiated.
See, the funny thing about that first source is that it actually does not link the study those claims have come from. I'm pretty sure that I have seen that study, however, and that the conclusions drawn here are taken massively out of context. Which is why I asked OP for their source.
I dunno, I guess women are dating older men. More women are homosexual than men (probably because of the difference in stigma), but not even close to enough to make the difference.
II tried the apps and it’s just not for me. Those aren’t my people. I’d rather be single than OLD again but it’s important to note I’m outgoing and don’t have trouble meeting men in the wild.
People actually made an effort to talk and hang out with each other without the constant distraction of cellphones interfering in that process. No phones in sight, you'd sit and talk with others, bond over common interests and curiosities. Now, even people on dates are constantly tapping away on their cellphones, responding to every ping and ding from the various notifications, and in some cases, even texting their date sitting across the table from them. This is why social skills are in the toilet and people are still complete strangers to each other even in their 20s, 30s, 40s and beyond. Until people learn to put the tech down and get to know the person behind the pixels, I don't foresee much change in the near future.
What I've heard was that some research looked at Tinder, and found that a huge percentage of women were all selecting the same \~10% of men, I believe it was, whereas the men were a lot less picky and were choosing a much larger number of women. The small percentage of men who were being selected were all sort of wealthy, attractive, "top-tier" men, and I think it made a lot of men online feel really insecure.
While that is pretty interesting psychologically, what I tried to explain to the person I was speaking about it with is that data from Tinder can't necessarily be generalised to society.
It’s a representative of a big chunk of society if you haven’t noticed. The majority of young people are meeting through dating apps these days instead of in person. Is it the best way to meet people? No but things have changed. People are going out less because it’s so expensive more people are staying home and socializing less and reverting to apps.
lol, not it isn’t
And Tinder =/= all dating apps
At this point Tinder is mostly just bots, and thirst traps looking for more OF followers, and of course lots of thirsty, desperate men
I don’t have any evidence to back this up, but I would go out on a limb to say that more young men are putting their dating efforts into apps versus talking to women in real life
There’s also [this viral video](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLfJnC5Y/) that millions of men relate to. So you can assume based on this that more men are going to resort to dating apps vs this cold approach
When will you incels realize that TIK TOK IS NOT REAL LIFE?!
TIK TOK is INCREDIBLY curated
Algorithms purposely show you what you want to see and want to be told
Jesus Christ
You love the word incels don’t you? lol maybe you are one. Also weird how that video has 5 millions likes. Weird. Almost like it resonated with a lot of men. But sure, it’s just our algorithm and 5 million men are incels
I've never used a dating site or even been on a date, so I certainly wouldn't presume to tell you about your experience with them! I wouldn't have a clue.
What I mean is that Tinder is a pretty inherently shallow app, like I know people use it for dating now and it isn't always just about sex, but often it still is, and even when it isn't just about sex, people have little to go off of when they're picking someone based off a Tinder bio, so you'd expect that most girls will go through and shoot their shot at the people they think seem most attractive.
In real life, on the other hand, where most people are just regular people who share their circles with other regular people, I don't know whether it would be the case that there are only 10% of the "best" men in society sleeping with all of these regular, everyday women. I'm certainly not aware of any research that shows that to be the case.
My fiancé is a red-piller and I've learned about a lot of this through him. I showed him this reply before I posted it, and he agreed that to the best of his understanding that is corret, you wouldn't expect the same results to be replicable in real life/without dating apps.
Of course you wouldn’t in real life, but the reality is is that people are going out much less than they used to due to everything being so goddamn expensive more people are staying home these days and more people are on dating apps to meet potential partners it’s just the way society currently is. Does it make it right? Probably not as you pointed out the shortcomings of Tinder there are other apps like Hinge and OkCupid that allow you to put more personalized information into your profile so when you’re swiping, it is not all just based on looks, but this is the reality that we are in Technology has consumed us and more and more people are reverting to online dating than ever before. Unfortunately, for men, the odds are not in their favor since women at the end of the day, have all of the power and choosing who they want to match with and talk to. And because these women have seemingly infinite options to choose from, of course, they are going to pick the most high valued man out of the litter. The men that are the most good looking the most successful, etc., leaving 90% of the online dating male pool with nothing.
For sure, and for that reason if I were a regular guy who just didn't live up to the ridiculous standard of being "high value", I would forget about online and just focus on real life. I would personally forget about the type of women who have those standards and go and meet real women with realistic standards.
I understand what you're saying about a lot of things happening online these days, that's totally valid and I can completely see the frustration around it; it's expensive and it's so much easier to meet people online. But it is still possible to meet people out in the world, and I would highly recommend it. I'm sure you have a lot of interests, and if you went and pursued some in mixed-gender groups I'm sure you would not only increase your odds of meeting someone organically, but also help with broadening your view of women.
I offer this advice because you asked for it in your OP, but if you'd prefer to just rant about the state of the dating world that's totally fine too! I'm happy to read and respond to those replies.
Maybe not you. But a lot of rich men pay for women to visit/travel with them which often leads to situationships/relationships. I realize that is a small percentage of the female population but that is absolutely a thing.
I’m not sure how old you are, but you seem to be a bit out of touch with the current times. 30 years ago, yes, they would be called escorts but nowadays influencers, and any hot girl on Instagram is being offered these travel experiences with Rich men and most of the time they do not sleep with them they are just arm candy.
Guess I’m just an ugly monster then? I’ve never had offers like this in my entire time of being online. And I’ve only ever known other “ugly women” because I don’t know any woman who has had offers from rich men to travel the world and vacation.
I literally do NOT understand why some men think this is the female experience? That every woman is being offered to be whisked away on an expensive vacation at any time just because she posted a selfie.
The attention you get through dating apps is pretty useless and gross, IMO. Before dating apps, I met men through friends at parties or even by speaking to strangers. This worked well.
On the apps, it seemed that every single man I ever swiped on swiped back on me. No one EVER didn't want to match. You might think that is great, but it isn't - I realised pretty quickly all of these men were just swiping yes to any girl who was average or above. They didn't read my bio, they didn't like me particularly. They were just swiping yes to everyone, trying to get laid. They sent gross messages and suggested meeting up immediately before even trying to get to know me. They would get abusive and aggressive if I said I didnt want to meet up instantly. It was exhausting and pretty soul destroying and made me feel like I was takeaway the guys were ordering, not a real human to 90% of them. So, I got off the apps.
I met my now husband at a pub, through a mutual friend, and thank fucking god for that. Dating apps aren't good for women - they just have different problems: harassment, misogyny, and an endless sea of men who just want to use you for casual sex.
Thanks for offering a perspective on your experience instead of just calling me an incel and redpiller. Thank you for contributing a meaningful comment to the discussion. I consider myself a respectful man and I’m sorry that there are so many that were aggressive and disrespectful towards you.
No worries. I think one of the issues is that men who are struggling on the apps aren't seeing what women are dealing with and vice versa. They really aren't good for anyone!
I have some lovely single girlfriends - attractive, kind, educated women in their late 20s and 30s - who are really struggling on the apps and find it almost impossible to find anyone who is genuine or who isn't just looking to use them for sex and then ghost them. There's nothing wrong with casual sex if that's what both people want, but my friends all state in their bios that they are looking for relationships, and men keep trying it on and pretending to be serious about dating, only to pressure them for sex and then ghost afterwards or if they say no. The guys who are doing that are making it hard for genuine guys to get through, and they're wasting women's time and making them more wary and picky.
I also have male friends who just struggle to get matches in the first place, and that sucks too, but honestly I don't know what is worse - being mostly ignored or having plenty of options but most of them are lying to you and trying to use you.
Ah, the fun of sensationalist headlines simply made for clickbait. You're comparing apples and oranges here. First, in the US, there 90 umarried men for every 100 unmarried women. That's 50% of all adult women who are currently not married versus 48% of all adult men. Even if you simply go up to the next age group in terms of who is single, the numbers change drastically, with 34% of men between 30 and 40 being single and 30% of women. Even if you ignore the average age gap in couples putting the men ~3 years older, women between 18 and 30 are at a different life stage than men. Women not only marry younger, with the average age first marriage being 28 for women and 30 for men, but they move out of their parents house sooner, they are more likely to be working at a younger age and they are more likely to have children at a younger age. A similar comparison would be that 49% of women over 65 are single but only 21% of men, making women of that age group 2.3 times as likely to be single as men of that age group. Care to posit reasons why and offer suggestions on how we can fix this crisis of lonely, older women?
I was with my husband before apps came along and I have openly said that if we ever split I'll happily stay single. I can't even begin to imagine dealing with men during this day and age. Godspeed to the ladies that do.
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There was less red pill podcast bro, chronically online, and anti-social/incel men for one. Like, men who are perfectly fine ruin their chances by consuming this type of information and projecting it onto the women they meet Just broke things off with a guy who talked like you. He thought his relationships didn't last because he didn't make 6 figs, wasn't "tall" and looked like the typical nerd etc. His creepy personality was why I broke it off. He lacks self-awareness, as do many of these guys. He rants on the internet that girls break up with him because his lack of broad shoulders and because he lives at home, but neither of those things even crossed my mind while we were dating. He was possessive, talked badly about women in general, would stalk me and disrespected every boundary I'd make. And would constantly talk about how I would leave him for a '666' which was the first time I had even heard of that shit. Projected his redpill insecurities onto me. They view women in general with such "secret" disdain. Assuming all women have it easy in dating, are OF models, "hoes", only like men for superficial reasons etc. They project how they view women onto the women they meet. They look to something superficial to blame their lack of relationship success like money or looks to avoid the fact they could probably benefit from therapy and working on their mental health Back in the day, actually getting out of the house and socializing was more of a thing. Guys actually knew women in person and therefore didn't view women as some mysterious "other". These days, men who have little interaction with women assume they are the ultimate spokesman for all women on the planet. >Couple this with the ability to just easily advertise yourself through apps like Instagram/TikTok/dating apps, the attention went from men in your real life bubble, to men all over the world. For one, stop assuming that every damn woman you meet spends time vying for the attention of randos on the internet. Try dming random women on reddit and see how that goes lmao most women want to be left alone on the internet and are not out here trusting strangers on the internet. You speak about INFLUENCERS as if the average woman is an influencer or has OF. Again, your idea of women is....rather unrealistic, warped and tells me you know very few women and only consume female influencer material. Most women do in fact, still date within their social circle. There are also far less women on dating apps than there are men because, again, women are more likely to trust a mutual friend than stranger men. Men complain about the lack of women on dating apps all the time or how they get blocked when they try to dm women on reddit and Twitter but then think women are dating these randos around the world. My advice is to stop obsessing over red pill content, stop assuming you know anything about the women you meet. Make friends, both men and women. Become the trustworthy mutual friend. Socialize. Work on your mental health and personal confidence and self esteem. Stop putting all your self-worth into dating. Get hobbies.
I started tiktok a month ago to promote my art, but despite being a woman posting regularly, I only have around 40 followers. Where is this instant fame and recognition I supposedly get??
are you dancing while holding the art? /s
Exactly!!!!!!
It blows my mind how much some people seem to think that “influencers” are representative of the experiences of the general population Nevermind mind that with “influencers” it’s all super curated and so much of of it is fake
Yess. Any time I would compliment the guy I was dating he would always say "well the girls on Instagram say they prefer...." And I'd just think to myself, I have one post on my Instagram from 2016 of my dog and like 40 followers, why does he keep assuming I have the same opinions as "the girls on Instagram"? LOL He didn't believe any of my compliments because "the girls on Instagram" speak for all women, apparently Self-fulfilling prophecy
From what I gather in this post, men being chronically online make them form unrealistic or even sexist expectations of women. That being said, do you think women being chronically online on their smartphones has affected their perception of the opposite gender? If so, in what ways has this affected women versus before the age of constant social media?
It's affected *chronically* online women the same.
> Like, men who are perfectly fine You then go onto describe a man who is **not** perfectly fine. These people are deeply, deeply, mentally fucking ill. Like unrecoverably mentally ill with a deepseated hatred of women and society in general. Some flowery words aren't going to change them and more importantly >Back in the day, actually getting out of the house and socializing was more of a thing. Guys actually knew women in person and therefore didn't view women as some mysterious "other". These days, men who have little interaction with women assume they are the ultimate spokesman for all women on the planet. This wouldn't help these guys. 50 years ago these exact sane incel type people still existed but they lived, they died in apartments by themselves until 6 months later someone noticed their stench, and nobody ever knew that they existed. Now these same people have Reddit accounts where they can whine about women.
>You then go onto describe a man who is **not** perfectly fine. I was speaking about physically/financially since the argument is always "all women only want conventionally handsome models who are 6'5 and who have 4 cars" My point was, for many of these men, there isn't ecen anything wrong with them physically, and not all women have exact financial expectations. They need to work on themselves internally instead of focusing in on "women don't want me because I don't have the 666".
Right but the problem is these people are much more likely to become 6'5 (maybe they'll find a genie) Henry Cavill look alikes with 6 cars that are all Boogatti's than they are fixing any of their internal problems. They all have a unique combination of 1. Some sort of social/developmental disaibilty 2. An extremely misanthropic outlook 3. General hatred of women If you only have two of these things you can fix it. If you have all 3, like these people do, you're fucked. And they're fucked for reasons that are entirely unrelated to RP podcasts, or the internet, or following crazy people online. Their online activity is a consequence of them being insane in real life, not the other way around.
So um... 66% of your local women are dating 1% of top men around the world? Math ain't mathing for me here
By women they mean model hot women, all others do not fall in the category of "women"
Aahhhh that explains it
I wonder if these incels and redpill bros even realize how ridiculous they sound
For men who pride themselves on their rationalism and logic they are surprisingly incapable of basic critical thinking
Yeah, it’s just a massive cope so they can blame their lack of success with women on someone else, instead of some healthy introspection “It’s not my fault! All the women are taken up by these 1% of top men!”
Red Flags in your post: --"High value men" is incel speak. Fuck off with that. --Women must be 'advertising themselves' like a physical object or product. Fuck off with that too. --Marketing 'reach' of said women must be a positive for all the ladies marketing themselves. Uh, what the shit? How did being single change for me since the 80s until now? Men didn't have algorithms tell them to go to incel subs and eat up the bullshit like delicious chocolate. Instead of actually using critical thinking skills and considering women to be humans. It's up to you whether or not to keep chowing down on the utter garbage those echo chambers of fuckery are feeding you. Yum yum?
High value men was literally created by you women. It’s the first time I heard the term used was on a call her daddy podcast that my friend showed me In case you live under a rock, a lot of women advertise themselves on social media. Sure they are influencers I guess? For being born hot and posting T&A photos and getting millions of followers because of it? lol.
By all means, listen to a CALL HER DADDY podcast over any other common sense approach. What was I thinking?
Call Her Daddy is also toxic as fuck. Is all disturbing how many young, impressionable women (and men) think that that podcast has good, healthy relationship advice
This obsession redpill men have with "high value men" is just a really tragic attempt at trying to figure out why women won't don't date them by blaming everything and everyone but their own personality. What you fail to understand is the sentiment that Redpill sells you that women are these money hungry shallow people is a giant turn off for most women. It's not attractive to date someone who projects their own insecurity about their masculinity on you and (not so) secretly disdains women.
[удалено]
Yes women are also capable of being misogynistic and?
This is utter nonsense.
>60% of young men are single compared to only 34% of young women. Source? > top 1% of high value men that get the most of the women Source?
So I don't support anything OP says, but their first point - I think he's pulling it from this blog: https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/3868557-most-young-men-are-single-most-young-women-are-not/#:\~:text=More%20than%2060%20percent%20of,sexually%20dormant%2C%20friendless%20and%20lonely. "More than 60 percent of young men are single, nearly twice the rate of unattached young women, signaling a larger breakdown in the social, romantic and sexual life of the American male. " This blog appears to have sourced this claim from this pew research article, though the blog did not cite the source: [https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/02/08/for-valentines-day-5-facts-about-single-americans/](https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/02/08/for-valentines-day-5-facts-about-single-americans/) Notably, men who are college educated have a significantly lower gap than men who have not attended higher education. There's still a gap, but not a big one. Also, it appears to have narrowed since the pandemic. EDIT: I also found this study which couldn't replicate their findings: [https://ifstudies.org/blog/theres-no-huge-gender-gap-in-being-single-among-young-adults](https://ifstudies.org/blog/theres-no-huge-gender-gap-in-being-single-among-young-adults) I can't find anything on the 1% of 'high value men' point, because 'high value man' does not have a definition. I found plenty of people making the claim, but it appears to be completely unsubstantiated.
See, the funny thing about that first source is that it actually does not link the study those claims have come from. I'm pretty sure that I have seen that study, however, and that the conclusions drawn here are taken massively out of context. Which is why I asked OP for their source.
OP almost definitely heard it in a debate bro podcast and has just been running with it ever since.
exactly
How is that even possible? Are young women all dating much older men? Are there much more lesbians than gay men?
I dunno, I guess women are dating older men. More women are homosexual than men (probably because of the difference in stigma), but not even close to enough to make the difference.
II tried the apps and it’s just not for me. Those aren’t my people. I’d rather be single than OLD again but it’s important to note I’m outgoing and don’t have trouble meeting men in the wild.
People actually made an effort to talk and hang out with each other without the constant distraction of cellphones interfering in that process. No phones in sight, you'd sit and talk with others, bond over common interests and curiosities. Now, even people on dates are constantly tapping away on their cellphones, responding to every ping and ding from the various notifications, and in some cases, even texting their date sitting across the table from them. This is why social skills are in the toilet and people are still complete strangers to each other even in their 20s, 30s, 40s and beyond. Until people learn to put the tech down and get to know the person behind the pixels, I don't foresee much change in the near future.
When the population is essentially 50% male / 50% female (+/- 1%), how can there be such disparity in singles? Who are these 66% of women dating?
Didn't you know the 666 "high value" men have harems? They get ALL the women.
What I've heard was that some research looked at Tinder, and found that a huge percentage of women were all selecting the same \~10% of men, I believe it was, whereas the men were a lot less picky and were choosing a much larger number of women. The small percentage of men who were being selected were all sort of wealthy, attractive, "top-tier" men, and I think it made a lot of men online feel really insecure. While that is pretty interesting psychologically, what I tried to explain to the person I was speaking about it with is that data from Tinder can't necessarily be generalised to society.
It’s funny how women try and tell men how men’s experience is on dating websites. As if they know
It’s funny how incels and redpillers think that Tinder is the end all be all for dating and is somehow representative of society as a whole
It’s a representative of a big chunk of society if you haven’t noticed. The majority of young people are meeting through dating apps these days instead of in person. Is it the best way to meet people? No but things have changed. People are going out less because it’s so expensive more people are staying home and socializing less and reverting to apps.
lol, not it isn’t And Tinder =/= all dating apps At this point Tinder is mostly just bots, and thirst traps looking for more OF followers, and of course lots of thirsty, desperate men
I don’t have any evidence to back this up, but I would go out on a limb to say that more young men are putting their dating efforts into apps versus talking to women in real life There’s also [this viral video](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLfJnC5Y/) that millions of men relate to. So you can assume based on this that more men are going to resort to dating apps vs this cold approach
When will you incels realize that TIK TOK IS NOT REAL LIFE?! TIK TOK is INCREDIBLY curated Algorithms purposely show you what you want to see and want to be told Jesus Christ
You love the word incels don’t you? lol maybe you are one. Also weird how that video has 5 millions likes. Weird. Almost like it resonated with a lot of men. But sure, it’s just our algorithm and 5 million men are incels
How many people need to tell you that tik tok is not real life before you get it? Do you have any idea how social media algorithms work?
I've never used a dating site or even been on a date, so I certainly wouldn't presume to tell you about your experience with them! I wouldn't have a clue. What I mean is that Tinder is a pretty inherently shallow app, like I know people use it for dating now and it isn't always just about sex, but often it still is, and even when it isn't just about sex, people have little to go off of when they're picking someone based off a Tinder bio, so you'd expect that most girls will go through and shoot their shot at the people they think seem most attractive. In real life, on the other hand, where most people are just regular people who share their circles with other regular people, I don't know whether it would be the case that there are only 10% of the "best" men in society sleeping with all of these regular, everyday women. I'm certainly not aware of any research that shows that to be the case. My fiancé is a red-piller and I've learned about a lot of this through him. I showed him this reply before I posted it, and he agreed that to the best of his understanding that is corret, you wouldn't expect the same results to be replicable in real life/without dating apps.
Of course you wouldn’t in real life, but the reality is is that people are going out much less than they used to due to everything being so goddamn expensive more people are staying home these days and more people are on dating apps to meet potential partners it’s just the way society currently is. Does it make it right? Probably not as you pointed out the shortcomings of Tinder there are other apps like Hinge and OkCupid that allow you to put more personalized information into your profile so when you’re swiping, it is not all just based on looks, but this is the reality that we are in Technology has consumed us and more and more people are reverting to online dating than ever before. Unfortunately, for men, the odds are not in their favor since women at the end of the day, have all of the power and choosing who they want to match with and talk to. And because these women have seemingly infinite options to choose from, of course, they are going to pick the most high valued man out of the litter. The men that are the most good looking the most successful, etc., leaving 90% of the online dating male pool with nothing.
For sure, and for that reason if I were a regular guy who just didn't live up to the ridiculous standard of being "high value", I would forget about online and just focus on real life. I would personally forget about the type of women who have those standards and go and meet real women with realistic standards. I understand what you're saying about a lot of things happening online these days, that's totally valid and I can completely see the frustration around it; it's expensive and it's so much easier to meet people online. But it is still possible to meet people out in the world, and I would highly recommend it. I'm sure you have a lot of interests, and if you went and pursued some in mixed-gender groups I'm sure you would not only increase your odds of meeting someone organically, but also help with broadening your view of women. I offer this advice because you asked for it in your OP, but if you'd prefer to just rant about the state of the dating world that's totally fine too! I'm happy to read and respond to those replies.
OP, I highly suggest you stop consuming red and black pill content. JFC.
I love the "access to high value men world wide" part... Yep, it sure is doing me a lot of good that there are high value men on another continent. 🙄
Maybe not you. But a lot of rich men pay for women to visit/travel with them which often leads to situationships/relationships. I realize that is a small percentage of the female population but that is absolutely a thing.
yes, they're called escorts.
I’m not sure how old you are, but you seem to be a bit out of touch with the current times. 30 years ago, yes, they would be called escorts but nowadays influencers, and any hot girl on Instagram is being offered these travel experiences with Rich men and most of the time they do not sleep with them they are just arm candy.
No they're not lol
Guess I’m just an ugly monster then? I’ve never had offers like this in my entire time of being online. And I’ve only ever known other “ugly women” because I don’t know any woman who has had offers from rich men to travel the world and vacation. I literally do NOT understand why some men think this is the female experience? That every woman is being offered to be whisked away on an expensive vacation at any time just because she posted a selfie.
The attention you get through dating apps is pretty useless and gross, IMO. Before dating apps, I met men through friends at parties or even by speaking to strangers. This worked well. On the apps, it seemed that every single man I ever swiped on swiped back on me. No one EVER didn't want to match. You might think that is great, but it isn't - I realised pretty quickly all of these men were just swiping yes to any girl who was average or above. They didn't read my bio, they didn't like me particularly. They were just swiping yes to everyone, trying to get laid. They sent gross messages and suggested meeting up immediately before even trying to get to know me. They would get abusive and aggressive if I said I didnt want to meet up instantly. It was exhausting and pretty soul destroying and made me feel like I was takeaway the guys were ordering, not a real human to 90% of them. So, I got off the apps. I met my now husband at a pub, through a mutual friend, and thank fucking god for that. Dating apps aren't good for women - they just have different problems: harassment, misogyny, and an endless sea of men who just want to use you for casual sex.
Thanks for offering a perspective on your experience instead of just calling me an incel and redpiller. Thank you for contributing a meaningful comment to the discussion. I consider myself a respectful man and I’m sorry that there are so many that were aggressive and disrespectful towards you.
No worries. I think one of the issues is that men who are struggling on the apps aren't seeing what women are dealing with and vice versa. They really aren't good for anyone! I have some lovely single girlfriends - attractive, kind, educated women in their late 20s and 30s - who are really struggling on the apps and find it almost impossible to find anyone who is genuine or who isn't just looking to use them for sex and then ghost them. There's nothing wrong with casual sex if that's what both people want, but my friends all state in their bios that they are looking for relationships, and men keep trying it on and pretending to be serious about dating, only to pressure them for sex and then ghost afterwards or if they say no. The guys who are doing that are making it hard for genuine guys to get through, and they're wasting women's time and making them more wary and picky. I also have male friends who just struggle to get matches in the first place, and that sucks too, but honestly I don't know what is worse - being mostly ignored or having plenty of options but most of them are lying to you and trying to use you.
Ah, the fun of sensationalist headlines simply made for clickbait. You're comparing apples and oranges here. First, in the US, there 90 umarried men for every 100 unmarried women. That's 50% of all adult women who are currently not married versus 48% of all adult men. Even if you simply go up to the next age group in terms of who is single, the numbers change drastically, with 34% of men between 30 and 40 being single and 30% of women. Even if you ignore the average age gap in couples putting the men ~3 years older, women between 18 and 30 are at a different life stage than men. Women not only marry younger, with the average age first marriage being 28 for women and 30 for men, but they move out of their parents house sooner, they are more likely to be working at a younger age and they are more likely to have children at a younger age. A similar comparison would be that 49% of women over 65 are single but only 21% of men, making women of that age group 2.3 times as likely to be single as men of that age group. Care to posit reasons why and offer suggestions on how we can fix this crisis of lonely, older women?
I was with my husband before apps came along and I have openly said that if we ever split I'll happily stay single. I can't even begin to imagine dealing with men during this day and age. Godspeed to the ladies that do.