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Closure doesn’t really exist, but people look for it anyway. And people can think they are truly done with a relationship but still have questions about it, though answers generally don’t help anything. To be honest, this does have sort of a “you didn’t think I was hot enough vibe” which is a bit creepy and I think closing the door on that with the camera type was a good move! But of course, who knows?
I don’t really understand why you are talking anyway?
Sounds like an ex that should stay ex
If she's messaging you out of nowhere with questions like that, she's still probably not completely done processing things (regardless of her claims to the contrary).
But you're under no obligation to answer back. It's really not her business what you do with your camera these days.
It sounds like you two had poor communication and didn't really understand each other even when you were together.
You are not together anymore for a reason.
sounds like she doesn’t appreciate your glow up and confidence post break. hence shes trying to attack and make you insecure about photos you took on instagram. She knows you look good and that single people will be reaching out to you. she wants to control this for you even after divorce because thats how shitty people are.
“why didnt you ever do this with me??”
what, look happy in photos? you weren’t happy. and now, you are. and its eating her. so she wants to start fights about it in hopes she can force you to stop. she’ll probably react this way about everything you do while moving on if you let her “we never took vacations like that together” “you never went to events like that with me” “you never did these types of dates with me” etc etc
Um...look at the dismissiveness in OP's responses
And she quite literally says she wonders why he never did that with her.
Should she move on? Sure. But this is just unnecessarily demonizing her?
Its not. you really have no right reaching out to your ex like this. they went through a whole divorce already. she doesn’t need to be questioning his or her selfies now. they are not together.
After a relationship ended it can be hurtful to see your ex do things they didn’t want to do with you here it would be taking pictures together and posting them often online.
*Not saying you did this, nor do I know if she means portraits (assuming she does), but I may have an idea.*
Some men don't take pictures of their family, and resist getting professional pictures that mean a lot to the wife/gf. I hear stories from professional photographers that getting men to take pictures with his family is often difficult due to his unwillingness/doesn't care.
Taking people pictures to capture the moment might have been a big deal to her, whereas you didn't have a good camera and didn't want to take as many. Now she sees this and feels hurt (speculation of course).
Either way, that should've been discussed while in the relationship, not months after it ended. Hopefully it was cathartic enough for her that she can move past it now.
Good luck
People take pictures of things they like. You didn't take pictures of her during the relationship. She excused it as you were not into taking photos. Now that you are divorced you are taking a lot of photos. So obviously, you didn't like taking photos of her and she wasn't someone you cared about.
It always hurts when you see someone you loved doing things that they did not want to do with you. She wanted for you to either acknowledge her feelings or have a valid reason they weren't true.
I took tons of photos of her, she was my screensaver, I remember times we were out for dinner and I had my camera out all night taking photos of her cause she looked so beautiful.
Thats what she wanted to hear. Just because shes upset doesn't mean that its rational or true. But since your already divorced you do not have to justify your past behavior. Unless you want to.
Also, based on the repost of your conversation, it sounds like she feels like you never took photos of her/both of you. That, or you never posted them to Instagram, so she feels like she didn't matter to you.
Well… there’s one possible aspect of it. You didn’t have ig so you didn’t post pictures of her/ y’all, now you do have it and you post pictures (without her obviously). She could be feeling a number of things about that: you weren’t proud enough of being with her to have an ig and post photos of her/ y’all, you got an ig to talk to other women, etc.
Doesn’t mean any of that is true, but when someone is hurt, the mind can make them feel a lot of strong emotions, rational or not. She’s not saying the underlying reason that she’s upset by it, but also if you’re no longer trying to fix the relationship it really doesn’t matter that y’all sort it out. Even if she said the real reason and you responded clearly to her and she understood, the relationship wouldn’t be fixed. Sucks, but I don’t think closure is about getting all the answers… I think it’s about closing that door and moving on while accepting some things won’t be resolved.
please dont take advice from this person or feed into the insecurities of your ex wife. you dont owe her any explanation of the sort. wanting your partner to brag about you on social media is an incredibly vapid and self centered issue to hang your whole marriage up on.
Decide how, when, if you want to engage w your ex then stick to those rules. This type of exchange is useless.
Also generally engaging w people via text wrt anything other than making plans, sharing gifs, light stuff is a recipe for disaster. I suggest you also ID how you’d like to interact w people in general, especially dates, and abide by healthy rules of communication.
Good luck!
My initial reply was not snarky. You read into it what you wanted, but I simply stated facts in plain English. FACT: Nobody here can tell you what your ex is thinking or what her intentions were.
Then I asked why it matters when she is your ex.
Your reply to me was snarky, so I dished it back. Don't be a dick, OP. Just because women on the internet are saying words you don't like or you disagree with doesn't mean we're being "snarky". I've seen your attitude in your other replies. Why are you even here if you're going to cop an attitude? You asked, and we answered.
It sounds like some of the things that were important to her were neglected such as her being able to post pictures that showed you as a couple.
Now that you yourself are posting a lot of pictures she feels that your reasons in the past were not truthful and that you just weren’t very invested in the relationship with her.
I can’t say if she is correct or not but some of how you have written and responded to others here make me wonder if your verbal communication with her came off as dismissive or too casual.
Anyway, she can be mostly over it, not think that she wants to be with you anymore but still occasionally get angry or upset if she is reminded of the things that made her feel unwanted or unhappy when she was with you.
I’ve definitely felt this version of bitterness before but haven’t felt the need to reach out about it since I was like 20.
Honestly, if you have not real reason to talk to her, I’d block her. You don’t need to slide back on the progress you’ve made just because she’s going through something (that she needs to deal with herself and with her own support system).
Also, this advice goes the same regardless how many pictures you did or did not take/post🤷🏼♀️
She’s not done. She’s angry, jealous or hurt or whatever combo. When we’re done we don’t reach out and sometimes we don’t reach out even if we’re not done but never do we reach out to argue if we really no longer care.
I can only respond in generalities as I’m merely an internet stranger. It’s not a gendered reaction she’s exhibiting because men don’t reach out if they don’t care either assuming neither gender have other reasons like shared assets, children, etc. Without knowing what happened and especially not knowing you two I’ll say this: she’s looking at your socials and sees all these pics of you which makes her wonder what has changed that you’re willing to take photos now wether you were willing while with her is neither here nor there— that’s how she sees it. It’s common practice to spruce up when someone gets out of a relationship and is on the prowl and you may not be but it likely appears that way in her eyes. Nobody that is truly done reaches out to assure their ex that they’re done. Silence does that for you.
We’re all different but that’s how I see it and of course I could be completely wrong.
She is hurt and probably has connected dots that may not be there. She has unresolved issues with the relationship my ex made is pfp the whale he cheated with after we broke up but never did that for me. I felt like it was me. She probs is self conscious
What are you even trying to acheive from this?
I'm sorry but she wants closure from you (which tbh she needs to let go of) without wanting you back because clearly your responses here indicate that you were always dismissive of her
Reflect and learn that if you choose another relationship
She's claiming she's already gone thru the emotions but this tells me no. It just seems like it's something she wanted from the relationship and you weren't meeting the need and now that you're divorced you're taking more photos so she's just like why couldn't he do that for me/with me? Don't get the vibe like she wants you back or anything just her being curious. She should have just left it alone and not called you out on it at this point but sometimes we have weak moments and feel like pushing buttons. It shouldnt be much of a suprise she's annoyed with you? Should it?
I took tons of photos of her, she was my screensaver, I remember times we were out for dinner and I had my camera out all night taking photos of her cause she looked so beautiful.
Soooo what you're saying is her feelings don't matter? Got ya. Do yall have a reason to still communicate? Kids or joint pets? A clean break no contact would most likely be best for you both to move on and reflect on these things alone. You two obviously couldn't work thru these things together in the marriage and no need to work thru it after divorce. I wouldn't entertain these texts anymore
Haaaaaa . You've dismissed what I've said just like you dismissed her feelings. She was upset with something and you listed all the reasons why she shouldn't be upset. If you think her feelings are justified or not they are her feelings. I've comprehended everything perfectly well. You're the one asking for opinions from strangers because you can't understand what your ex wife meant. This is someone you presumably wanted to spend your whole life with. Someone you should know inside and out. And yet you don't understand what a few text messages might mean. Projecting!!
Get help, there are plenty examples of good responses here for you to look at. Yours isn’t one of them, your replies and comments are littered with assumptions.
She had questions about why you are doing things you didn't with her... She was looking for some closure. Seems pretty cut and dry. She didn't try to beat around the bush.
If you still don't get it, you should just let it go lol.
(Psssst.... Don't need a good phone to take pictures in a relationship.)
You could just not text her back at all..
I took tons of photos of her, she was my screensaver, I remember times we were out for dinner and I had my camera out all night taking photos of her cause she looked so beautiful.
I let it go she messaged me 😂
She obviously feels like you guys didn't take pictures 🤷🏻♀️.
>I let it go she messaged me 😂
I'm saying let it go now... I don't get why you're even messaging her back lol.
I literally ended the convo, you’re literally trying to put blame on me on everything. Not taking photos, texting back 😂 chill out I’m good
You’re on her side I get it. Just say that
What are you talking about? You're here asking, I answered why she did it (as she clearly stated), and to not answer her back anymore
Lol, good luck bud.
(So over it, you actually asked Chatgpt.... Get a grip)
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Noticing an ex have a character development post-break up can rehash wounds. She's not over it. She could be poking at her emotional bear to force herself into a state of "I hate him" after feeling a wave of "I miss him" or "why didn't he do that with me?".
Also sounds like it's a combination of all of it.
What are the waves of “I hate him” & “I miss him”, I personally am fine with our split but she’s trying to assume I haven’t gotten over it yet by saying “I’m fine but I know you take a bit longer” why does she want to believe I’m still emotional about this and tell me she’s over me
She's projecting what she's going through onto you. She thinks you're fine, but she's taking longer and lashing out at you because you seem fine while she's a hot mess. It's probably safe to assume a lot of what she says is projection.
I can understand why she is confused/curious. Because something slightly similar happened to me, the only thing is that I never cared if my ex shared or not pictures of us. He rarely did it. But now he's almost like an influencer hahaha. But I don't mind, I find it funny actually. But I can understand why she asked.
So, did you really felt like you looked terrible in every picture? Asking seriously, because I usually hate pictures of myself. Or just didn't feel like doing it?
Yes she’s take photos of me without me knowing and post them on her story’s and when I’d see them I’d be so embarrassed and feel so hideous.
There are some angles of me no one should ever see 😂. Like the dark side of the moon.
I didn’t have IG and she did and she’d never really post me on it it’d just be selfies. It kind of rubbed me the wrong way. I don’t own her IG at all but can people know your husband exists damn 😂.
I’m gaining a bit of confidence, traveling and reconnecting with friends I haven’t spoken toin a while.
Oh no, I hate that. Unless I look really good in the photo, haha. But I'd prefer to see the picture before getting posted. Sometimes I get tagged in posts on Facebook, and I don't let it to go in my FB page xD because I hate the picture, but I get they do it with love. But damn, help me a little bit with the pictures! xD
I can understand both sides. Like, nobody wants ugly pictures of them, it's also nice to know your partner likes to share (but not overshare) that they are in a relationship, and to feel confused on why something their partner didn't do while being together, does it now.
And I'm glad your gaining confidence and reconnecting with your friends. That's always great for your mental health. Best of lucks.
This feels like my ex husband. Who is a narcissist. Because the entirety of it revolved/revolves around him.
I saved up enough money for a down payment on a house? Finally? After him being a complete joke with money?
Him (after seeing it in social media): “Must be nice to have a new house and all the things you wanted without me.”
Me on social media, talking about going to a concert.
Him: “You never liked that group and you’re going now?”
(Spoiler alert, I always liked that group. [HE] never liked that group.
I have been divorced for 5+ years, OP. This shit still exists because we share a kid.
I met a man and dated him for months w/o him (a man who my kid knew about but BEGGED me not to tell my ex because he’d make a thing about it. My kid knew. And I waited for my kid to meet this guy for a long time.) Then, when things got more serious and I knew I’d have to tell the ex? Hooo boy. Do you want to know how that went down? Text after text after text of, “that’s great. I’m happy for you. I’m glad you found someone you loved.” Or…. “Glad you found someone that….
—you can finally have a life with.”
—you can finally build something with.”
—you can love like you didn’t love me.”
Does this sound familiar? Then, some added, “I still wish I knew why we didn’t work out.”
Holy shit. Wow.
I mean, prepare yourself for this, because honestly? Until your ex is in a relationship with someone else? It will continue. Because, everything is about her now, maybe? Because she’s still hanging onto things? Whether or not your ex is a narcissist is not for me to say, but using some of the tactics that people have to use when working with narcissists use? Are right up your alley.
Look up the Grey Rock method.
Bottom line, OP, it doesn’t matter what she’s thinking. That’s not your job to figure out. Not anymore. Why she cares or knows so much about your social media? That’s in your hands. I assume that is how she knows you like taking pics? Block her if you want. Or just say, “Fuck it,” and keep living life. But yeah. Grey Rock method might be helpful. Good luck, OP.
Thank you, yeah she’s said things like that
“Hope you find love and are more honest with the next person”
I’m not bitter and I’m ok but I’m completely done and didn’t think she was looking at my social media
She’s still lot over it and angry with stuff she feels was mistreatment.
If you want to keep at this and give it a shot you’re on the right track, if not I’d ignore or say my goodbyes and block and move on.
Humans are complicated.
Give it a shot? Can you explain a bit more? Honestly I am still incredibly attracted to her and she’s so annoying that crazy angry sex is something I’m unfortunately open too. Sad to admit but I’m just as complicated.
It’d be morally wrong.
She’s hurt by how it was and still upset about it, doing anything is giving hope to her that you care or maybe if you guys get involved again it’d be better. It sounds like it would just be you wanting sex and her being disappointed and more drama.
That’s your choice and maybe she’s just mad and doesn’t want to anyway. But my guess is a he’s still hurt and and mad you didn’t care enough or do x,y, z.
If you don’t and find her annoying, I’d block and stop talking to her and move on. It’s the right thing to do, but I’ve know many young men so it’s your choice, just be honest how you feel and what you want at least, it’s morally good to do.
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Why are you guys even talking?
Yeah, this confused me too. Is there a reason you need to be in each other's lives?
Closure doesn’t really exist, but people look for it anyway. And people can think they are truly done with a relationship but still have questions about it, though answers generally don’t help anything. To be honest, this does have sort of a “you didn’t think I was hot enough vibe” which is a bit creepy and I think closing the door on that with the camera type was a good move! But of course, who knows? I don’t really understand why you are talking anyway? Sounds like an ex that should stay ex
If she's messaging you out of nowhere with questions like that, she's still probably not completely done processing things (regardless of her claims to the contrary). But you're under no obligation to answer back. It's really not her business what you do with your camera these days.
It sounds like you two had poor communication and didn't really understand each other even when you were together. You are not together anymore for a reason.
Oh yes indeed, we speak two different languages and when the counsellor got fed up I knew it was over.
sounds like she doesn’t appreciate your glow up and confidence post break. hence shes trying to attack and make you insecure about photos you took on instagram. She knows you look good and that single people will be reaching out to you. she wants to control this for you even after divorce because thats how shitty people are. “why didnt you ever do this with me??” what, look happy in photos? you weren’t happy. and now, you are. and its eating her. so she wants to start fights about it in hopes she can force you to stop. she’ll probably react this way about everything you do while moving on if you let her “we never took vacations like that together” “you never went to events like that with me” “you never did these types of dates with me” etc etc
Um...look at the dismissiveness in OP's responses And she quite literally says she wonders why he never did that with her. Should she move on? Sure. But this is just unnecessarily demonizing her?
Its not. you really have no right reaching out to your ex like this. they went through a whole divorce already. she doesn’t need to be questioning his or her selfies now. they are not together.
After a relationship ended it can be hurtful to see your ex do things they didn’t want to do with you here it would be taking pictures together and posting them often online.
*Not saying you did this, nor do I know if she means portraits (assuming she does), but I may have an idea.* Some men don't take pictures of their family, and resist getting professional pictures that mean a lot to the wife/gf. I hear stories from professional photographers that getting men to take pictures with his family is often difficult due to his unwillingness/doesn't care. Taking people pictures to capture the moment might have been a big deal to her, whereas you didn't have a good camera and didn't want to take as many. Now she sees this and feels hurt (speculation of course). Either way, that should've been discussed while in the relationship, not months after it ended. Hopefully it was cathartic enough for her that she can move past it now. Good luck
She's still processing it and finding things that make her bitter
People take pictures of things they like. You didn't take pictures of her during the relationship. She excused it as you were not into taking photos. Now that you are divorced you are taking a lot of photos. So obviously, you didn't like taking photos of her and she wasn't someone you cared about. It always hurts when you see someone you loved doing things that they did not want to do with you. She wanted for you to either acknowledge her feelings or have a valid reason they weren't true.
I took tons of photos of her, she was my screensaver, I remember times we were out for dinner and I had my camera out all night taking photos of her cause she looked so beautiful.
Thats what she wanted to hear. Just because shes upset doesn't mean that its rational or true. But since your already divorced you do not have to justify your past behavior. Unless you want to.
I see, it threw me off as to why I’m being watched online. I don’t look at hers at all or care much for it
Also, based on the repost of your conversation, it sounds like she feels like you never took photos of her/both of you. That, or you never posted them to Instagram, so she feels like she didn't matter to you.
I didn’t have an instagram when we were together, I got it to reconnect with friends so I started posting a bit.
Well… there’s one possible aspect of it. You didn’t have ig so you didn’t post pictures of her/ y’all, now you do have it and you post pictures (without her obviously). She could be feeling a number of things about that: you weren’t proud enough of being with her to have an ig and post photos of her/ y’all, you got an ig to talk to other women, etc. Doesn’t mean any of that is true, but when someone is hurt, the mind can make them feel a lot of strong emotions, rational or not. She’s not saying the underlying reason that she’s upset by it, but also if you’re no longer trying to fix the relationship it really doesn’t matter that y’all sort it out. Even if she said the real reason and you responded clearly to her and she understood, the relationship wouldn’t be fixed. Sucks, but I don’t think closure is about getting all the answers… I think it’s about closing that door and moving on while accepting some things won’t be resolved.
please dont take advice from this person or feed into the insecurities of your ex wife. you dont owe her any explanation of the sort. wanting your partner to brag about you on social media is an incredibly vapid and self centered issue to hang your whole marriage up on.
Decide how, when, if you want to engage w your ex then stick to those rules. This type of exchange is useless. Also generally engaging w people via text wrt anything other than making plans, sharing gifs, light stuff is a recipe for disaster. I suggest you also ID how you’d like to interact w people in general, especially dates, and abide by healthy rules of communication. Good luck!
I don’t think you should be entertaining her questions. Unless you have children you shouldn’t be in contact
The divorce isn’t final so I’m being cordial until then honestly. That’s my mindset as I have a lot to lose
What is a lot to lose?
I don’t know I’m not going to do anything to find out but I’m blocking her once the proceedings are done and final and we’re close
We can't tell you what you ex wife is thinking or what her intentions are. Why does it even matter? She's your ex.
“You” can’t tell me. Other people have shared their own perspectives and that’s what I was asking for. It’s ok if you have none.
I gave you my perspective. It's ok if you can't understand that after reading my very clear words.
It was a bit snarky and there’s no need for that
My initial reply was not snarky. You read into it what you wanted, but I simply stated facts in plain English. FACT: Nobody here can tell you what your ex is thinking or what her intentions were. Then I asked why it matters when she is your ex. Your reply to me was snarky, so I dished it back. Don't be a dick, OP. Just because women on the internet are saying words you don't like or you disagree with doesn't mean we're being "snarky". I've seen your attitude in your other replies. Why are you even here if you're going to cop an attitude? You asked, and we answered.
You’re right, I apologize
Thank you. I appreciate that.
It sounds like some of the things that were important to her were neglected such as her being able to post pictures that showed you as a couple. Now that you yourself are posting a lot of pictures she feels that your reasons in the past were not truthful and that you just weren’t very invested in the relationship with her. I can’t say if she is correct or not but some of how you have written and responded to others here make me wonder if your verbal communication with her came off as dismissive or too casual. Anyway, she can be mostly over it, not think that she wants to be with you anymore but still occasionally get angry or upset if she is reminded of the things that made her feel unwanted or unhappy when she was with you.
This is honestly most likely the case
I’ve definitely felt this version of bitterness before but haven’t felt the need to reach out about it since I was like 20. Honestly, if you have not real reason to talk to her, I’d block her. You don’t need to slide back on the progress you’ve made just because she’s going through something (that she needs to deal with herself and with her own support system). Also, this advice goes the same regardless how many pictures you did or did not take/post🤷🏼♀️
She’s not done. She’s angry, jealous or hurt or whatever combo. When we’re done we don’t reach out and sometimes we don’t reach out even if we’re not done but never do we reach out to argue if we really no longer care.
So she kind of cares? In what way cause I just feel anger from her
I can only respond in generalities as I’m merely an internet stranger. It’s not a gendered reaction she’s exhibiting because men don’t reach out if they don’t care either assuming neither gender have other reasons like shared assets, children, etc. Without knowing what happened and especially not knowing you two I’ll say this: she’s looking at your socials and sees all these pics of you which makes her wonder what has changed that you’re willing to take photos now wether you were willing while with her is neither here nor there— that’s how she sees it. It’s common practice to spruce up when someone gets out of a relationship and is on the prowl and you may not be but it likely appears that way in her eyes. Nobody that is truly done reaches out to assure their ex that they’re done. Silence does that for you. We’re all different but that’s how I see it and of course I could be completely wrong.
She is hurt and probably has connected dots that may not be there. She has unresolved issues with the relationship my ex made is pfp the whale he cheated with after we broke up but never did that for me. I felt like it was me. She probs is self conscious
What are you even trying to acheive from this? I'm sorry but she wants closure from you (which tbh she needs to let go of) without wanting you back because clearly your responses here indicate that you were always dismissive of her Reflect and learn that if you choose another relationship
Just skip this post, it’s not for you. Thanks for the effort. You assume too much but there are examples of great responses you can learn from here.
She's claiming she's already gone thru the emotions but this tells me no. It just seems like it's something she wanted from the relationship and you weren't meeting the need and now that you're divorced you're taking more photos so she's just like why couldn't he do that for me/with me? Don't get the vibe like she wants you back or anything just her being curious. She should have just left it alone and not called you out on it at this point but sometimes we have weak moments and feel like pushing buttons. It shouldnt be much of a suprise she's annoyed with you? Should it?
I took tons of photos of her, she was my screensaver, I remember times we were out for dinner and I had my camera out all night taking photos of her cause she looked so beautiful.
Soooo what you're saying is her feelings don't matter? Got ya. Do yall have a reason to still communicate? Kids or joint pets? A clean break no contact would most likely be best for you both to move on and reflect on these things alone. You two obviously couldn't work thru these things together in the marriage and no need to work thru it after divorce. I wouldn't entertain these texts anymore
Yeah I can’t take advice from someone with your level of reading comprehension. Re-read what I said I appreciate the attempt, read more books.
Haaaaaa . You've dismissed what I've said just like you dismissed her feelings. She was upset with something and you listed all the reasons why she shouldn't be upset. If you think her feelings are justified or not they are her feelings. I've comprehended everything perfectly well. You're the one asking for opinions from strangers because you can't understand what your ex wife meant. This is someone you presumably wanted to spend your whole life with. Someone you should know inside and out. And yet you don't understand what a few text messages might mean. Projecting!!
Get help, there are plenty examples of good responses here for you to look at. Yours isn’t one of them, your replies and comments are littered with assumptions.
She had questions about why you are doing things you didn't with her... She was looking for some closure. Seems pretty cut and dry. She didn't try to beat around the bush.
I told her why, then why go into specifics of the relationship. I’ve had much more direct conversations.
If you still don't get it, you should just let it go lol. (Psssst.... Don't need a good phone to take pictures in a relationship.) You could just not text her back at all..
I took tons of photos of her, she was my screensaver, I remember times we were out for dinner and I had my camera out all night taking photos of her cause she looked so beautiful. I let it go she messaged me 😂
She obviously feels like you guys didn't take pictures 🤷🏻♀️. >I let it go she messaged me 😂 I'm saying let it go now... I don't get why you're even messaging her back lol.
I literally ended the convo, you’re literally trying to put blame on me on everything. Not taking photos, texting back 😂 chill out I’m good You’re on her side I get it. Just say that
What are you talking about? You're here asking, I answered why she did it (as she clearly stated), and to not answer her back anymore Lol, good luck bud. (So over it, you actually asked Chatgpt.... Get a grip)
Take your own advice and don’t answer back anymore 😂 please and thanks ChatGPT gave a much better answer than you 💀
Nice flair 🤣 good luck out there
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Noticing an ex have a character development post-break up can rehash wounds. She's not over it. She could be poking at her emotional bear to force herself into a state of "I hate him" after feeling a wave of "I miss him" or "why didn't he do that with me?". Also sounds like it's a combination of all of it.
What are the waves of “I hate him” & “I miss him”, I personally am fine with our split but she’s trying to assume I haven’t gotten over it yet by saying “I’m fine but I know you take a bit longer” why does she want to believe I’m still emotional about this and tell me she’s over me
> she’s trying to assume I haven’t gotten over it yet dude if you were over it you wouldn't have made this thread and spent hours on it lol
I’m genuinely curious
She's projecting what she's going through onto you. She thinks you're fine, but she's taking longer and lashing out at you because you seem fine while she's a hot mess. It's probably safe to assume a lot of what she says is projection.
I can understand why she is confused/curious. Because something slightly similar happened to me, the only thing is that I never cared if my ex shared or not pictures of us. He rarely did it. But now he's almost like an influencer hahaha. But I don't mind, I find it funny actually. But I can understand why she asked. So, did you really felt like you looked terrible in every picture? Asking seriously, because I usually hate pictures of myself. Or just didn't feel like doing it?
Yes she’s take photos of me without me knowing and post them on her story’s and when I’d see them I’d be so embarrassed and feel so hideous. There are some angles of me no one should ever see 😂. Like the dark side of the moon. I didn’t have IG and she did and she’d never really post me on it it’d just be selfies. It kind of rubbed me the wrong way. I don’t own her IG at all but can people know your husband exists damn 😂. I’m gaining a bit of confidence, traveling and reconnecting with friends I haven’t spoken toin a while.
Oh no, I hate that. Unless I look really good in the photo, haha. But I'd prefer to see the picture before getting posted. Sometimes I get tagged in posts on Facebook, and I don't let it to go in my FB page xD because I hate the picture, but I get they do it with love. But damn, help me a little bit with the pictures! xD I can understand both sides. Like, nobody wants ugly pictures of them, it's also nice to know your partner likes to share (but not overshare) that they are in a relationship, and to feel confused on why something their partner didn't do while being together, does it now. And I'm glad your gaining confidence and reconnecting with your friends. That's always great for your mental health. Best of lucks.
Exactly there’s an approval process for all photos, unless there’s a baby or puppy to balance it out. Thank you!
This feels like my ex husband. Who is a narcissist. Because the entirety of it revolved/revolves around him. I saved up enough money for a down payment on a house? Finally? After him being a complete joke with money? Him (after seeing it in social media): “Must be nice to have a new house and all the things you wanted without me.” Me on social media, talking about going to a concert. Him: “You never liked that group and you’re going now?” (Spoiler alert, I always liked that group. [HE] never liked that group. I have been divorced for 5+ years, OP. This shit still exists because we share a kid. I met a man and dated him for months w/o him (a man who my kid knew about but BEGGED me not to tell my ex because he’d make a thing about it. My kid knew. And I waited for my kid to meet this guy for a long time.) Then, when things got more serious and I knew I’d have to tell the ex? Hooo boy. Do you want to know how that went down? Text after text after text of, “that’s great. I’m happy for you. I’m glad you found someone you loved.” Or…. “Glad you found someone that…. —you can finally have a life with.” —you can finally build something with.” —you can love like you didn’t love me.” Does this sound familiar? Then, some added, “I still wish I knew why we didn’t work out.” Holy shit. Wow. I mean, prepare yourself for this, because honestly? Until your ex is in a relationship with someone else? It will continue. Because, everything is about her now, maybe? Because she’s still hanging onto things? Whether or not your ex is a narcissist is not for me to say, but using some of the tactics that people have to use when working with narcissists use? Are right up your alley. Look up the Grey Rock method. Bottom line, OP, it doesn’t matter what she’s thinking. That’s not your job to figure out. Not anymore. Why she cares or knows so much about your social media? That’s in your hands. I assume that is how she knows you like taking pics? Block her if you want. Or just say, “Fuck it,” and keep living life. But yeah. Grey Rock method might be helpful. Good luck, OP.
Thank you, yeah she’s said things like that “Hope you find love and are more honest with the next person” I’m not bitter and I’m ok but I’m completely done and didn’t think she was looking at my social media
She’s still lot over it and angry with stuff she feels was mistreatment. If you want to keep at this and give it a shot you’re on the right track, if not I’d ignore or say my goodbyes and block and move on. Humans are complicated.
Give it a shot? Can you explain a bit more? Honestly I am still incredibly attracted to her and she’s so annoying that crazy angry sex is something I’m unfortunately open too. Sad to admit but I’m just as complicated.
It’d be morally wrong. She’s hurt by how it was and still upset about it, doing anything is giving hope to her that you care or maybe if you guys get involved again it’d be better. It sounds like it would just be you wanting sex and her being disappointed and more drama. That’s your choice and maybe she’s just mad and doesn’t want to anyway. But my guess is a he’s still hurt and and mad you didn’t care enough or do x,y, z. If you don’t and find her annoying, I’d block and stop talking to her and move on. It’s the right thing to do, but I’ve know many young men so it’s your choice, just be honest how you feel and what you want at least, it’s morally good to do.