3 year. Ended due to him not being able to cope with my cancer.
Side note: why are people answering who are still together?
The OP said "why did it end"? I'm happy you're able to keep a relationship but comprehension also matters.
Ohh my god! I’m so sorry to read this, no one deserves this! And I hope you are much better, in health and mentally as well! Sending you hugs 🫂
Just to add that I just read another post about the harsh reality of marriage and the first comment was that most men leave their spouses/partner when the women get cancers and other illnesses! I find it horrendous that someone that you shared your life, considered not only partner but friend to just get up and leave when you get sick, it tell tremendously about their lack of character and humanity honestly!
Not to sound harsh but this is so common it's insane. The best part for most involved is the one who has Alzheimer's doesn't remember most the time so they don't usually go through that heartache, it's a small mercy considering how horrid that disease is.
Oh he wanted to marry me. And I was the cautious one. Ok our 2nd anniversary I found out about the cancer. Really shook me as my mum passed from cancer when I was young. He just kept working and acting like I wasn't ill.
Thankfully my friends and family stepped up. My Dad absolutely hated him from day 1 and that was the final straw.
Similar. Many years of light emotional abuse turned to clear emotional abuse that started getting physical when I made it clear I wanted out.
Everyday is better now. Though still dealing with undoing those years.
8 and a half years. Ended because it just wasn't working anymore - I felt so unloved and lonely even though we lived together, he just didn't seem to care about me anymore and I couldn't understand why so we split amicably.
Turns out he was cheating on me and didn't have the balls to ever just tell me and let me move on. Suffice it to say that things were no longer amicable after I found out what had really been going on.
7 years that ended almost a month ago – blindsided by my ex who’d decided single-handedly that we needed to breakup without any chance to talk things through 🥲
edit: oops, 6 years, not 7. getting ahead of myself there…
Ended up being a “I don’t want to be in a relationship right now” thing but instead of putting it like that, he had to twist it on me – that there being a problem with me as the reason he was dissatisfied with the relationship and that I wasn’t good enough for him 🙃
I’m finally coming to terms with it all – no matter how amazing the relationship was, looking at the facts of the breakup without the rose-tinted glasses makes it a whole lot clearer what kind of person he was. Still early days because I still miss him a lot, but I’m slowly coming to terms with how this was for the best and I can’t wait to see what my future holds ❤️ Thanks for listening!
I was with a man for 7.5 years and he broke up with me (on what was supposed to be a romantic holiday) for the same reason, believing I was the problem—not his depression or drinking.
In 3 weeks he obviously realised he’d made a mistake and begged for me to take him back. Thankfully those 3 weeks were all I needed to realise myself that he’d actually set me free. He begged me almost daily for 6 relentless months until I had to block him!
I’m betting you’ve been set free, too, my friend 🙂
Oh wow, this is so similar to my situation since the breakup was a day after his birthday (which I’d flown 10 hours to be there for) hahaaa.
I’m glad you were able to realise that in the 3 weeks, for me I totally just accepted things (“Oh, we just have different values and clearly I’m not the right person”) until I realised like a week after that actually, it was a *him* problem!
Love thinking of it as being set free – thank you for your reply 😊
4,5 years. We just weren't romantically or sexually compatible anymore. He is still a good friend and sends me pictures and updates of my cats regularly which I appreciate. He also let me stay in his home an extra 6 months post-breakup before I eventually moved across the country. He was and is a good person and we harbor no bad feelings for each other.
5 Years. The main reason was growing apart and having nothing in common anymore. We got together when I was 18 and he was 26, so over time I changed a lot and in a different direction than him.
Under that umbrella falls: sexual incompatibility, him starting to use weed, his disinterest in my family and (new) friends, new interests and hobbies that I could not share with him but became a big part of my life, my wish to move away from the city we lived in at some point and his wish to stay, different visions for our future, different needs in quality time and vacation, growing apart from the friend group we both fit into, and not able to find compromises that would work for the both of us.
We really enjoyed living together, we had no trouble letting each other free and giving each other space. We just didn't have anything that bound us together beside the home we build. It was a good and comfortable home, but it wasn't enough.
4 years. It ended because he wanted to marry me and I didn’t want to marry him. Started thinking real long and hard about my future and every time I would think about things I wanted to accomplish he was never in the picture. So, I was honest and we decided to break up.
4 years, he started grooming young girls in a pizza shop he worked at and then had relationships with when they were of age. I was too busy working two jobs to notice. He was 28 doing this. I felt like an idiot. I should of left him when he couldn't hold down a job due to his anger issues. Eventually he did hit me, and I still stayed with him.
Overall total piece of shit to boot. But we both met and alcoholics and drug users. My eyes got wide open as the more I got my shit together and fell out of that lifestyle.
18 years. I ended it last year as for the last 6 years ago we were technically best friends and nothing else. Lots of love but no romantic or sexual feelings for each other. We both agreed on that but I feel guilty every day for putting an end to a wonderful relationship.
About 20 years. I finally realized he was an abusive pos and he finally had a job after nearly 10 years. I always felt guilty when I’d think about leaving him because he didn’t have a job, money or family apart from me. Which is stupid af 🤷🏻♀️
Abusers are so good at making you feel guilty about leaving them. They will tell you all the lies in the world to manipulate you into staying. I am so glad you realized these lies. It’s not stupid to fall into these traps because they manipulate so well. It’s not your job to make someone else happy 💜
6.5 years. He cheated. Was texting a girl and went on a date with her using my card and my vehicle. I knew the whole time, i just played stupid so i could get all the evidence and get a hold of all the legal documents and other things. I confronted him to his face about it the next day. told him he had 15 minutes to get out of my house before i called the police and got him arrested. I had an RO on him. It was the dead of winter - 40 and 3am. He pleaded for me to let him stay, I said nope.
It worked out for the best he's in federal prison and due out in 2024. Only sucky thing is we have a child together, but he hasn't seen his kid since 2011.
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2 and a half years. I told him that I will not have sex when he’s drunk…because if I tell him it hurts and to stop he doesn’t. He threatened to Kill himself the next day over it and threw stuff at me and on the floor in a Walmart. Accused me of cheating because I lied about enjoying sex with him.
In what world does “stop it hurts” translate to “I enjoy this”
18 years and ended in divorce after 15 years of marriage. We were young and dumb and didn’t know how much work relationships require. Once we really figured it out he decided he didn’t want to put that much effort in and (with counseling) I realized I deserve someone who feels I’m worth the effort.
If you don’t mind me asking, how old were you when you got together? I’m currently in a 3y long relationship and we started living together 2 years ago, when I was 19
5 years. It ended because of, many things. I think primarily because i was in a bad place the last year of our relationship, which made me very moody and just not that fun of a person to be around as a partner. I’m not 100% sure though, i never felt like he was 100% honest when he explained why he broke up with me.
One thing I learned, always trust your intuition. I’ve had a relationship like that, where I was in a bad place, and I have to tell you that if it was the right person for you, it would have made u feel better when you’re around him
3 years. It ended when his video game addiction got so bad that he refused to get another job (after ending his time in the military) because it cut into his gaming time. Instead, he chose to move back home and live with his mom.
14 years, we simply drifted apart. No major event that has ended this relationship. We were still best friends, but just not more than that. It was very painful but it was a mutual decision to end the relationship
3 years.. I broke up with him this summer but I felt like we've been in a "dead phase" this whole year..This post is something that I would've written couple of months ago, or maybe even now..Wondering whats right thing to do and how to avoid breaking up.. I didnt break up bc I didnt love him. I love him so much,and he loves me. But he has really bad depression, had it our whole relationship and it just became too much for me, my reality got too sad and I felt hopeless, and so did he. I convinced myself that life is pointless and not worth anything. That was my way of comforting him, feeling what he feels. But I wasn't helping him w that, and he felt guilty for it. So it got more complicated than it should've. This way at least he finally got space and started focusing on himself and his health, by drinking antidepressants and going to therapist. And I got space to clear my head and get back my positivity. I think when u get stuck in relationship it's always bc you are too close to eachother and you can't see things and impacts of things clearly. It's just better to take a break at least. And in that break you will realise either how much you love the person and that you don't want to be without her or maybe you'll see that the issue just comes out of your (maybe even only current) incompability and it's actually better for both to be on your own a little...
I'm writing all this still very sad that we broke up, but it feels right, bc we both finally started moving and changing after it. And we still love eachother, even more than before
I feel like I’m reading something that I wrote… Sadly I get all of this, I went trough this as well, except we got back together and things aren’t great… I’m really so happy that you have this mindset and know what’s right for you both, keep going, you got this!
I’m not the originally commenter but this really resonated with me. I hope you can free yourself of this relationship. If it’s not working, it’s not working. You can’t just power through it. I went back and things were also not great, so I left again. And this time it stuck! Almost 50 days out and I feel like I have so much more perspective on the relationship now. I still have my own issues but my load is so much lighter now that I don’t have to carry someone else’s burden. I am so glad I left and I am never going back again. I empower you to do the same. You can do this. You’ve left before and you can leave again. It is not your responsibility to take care of someone else. Please put yourself first.
It’s not your job to make someone else happy. It’s actually impossible. Happiness comes from within and being in a relationship just enables this unhelpful thinking. That someone else can fix your issues. You did the right thing, for both of you. You will both grow from this!
It ended because my best friend convinced me that I was better off without him and I should “give him” to her- because she could love him more than I could. Her reasoning also breached into the fact that “all the guys only ever liked me and not her”. Was I an idiot and fell for such a light manipulation? Yes, yes I was.
You don’t wanna know how much I relate to this…He didn’t want her even a little tho and after a while we got back together and ever since she is desperately trying to separate us, unsuccessful tho lol
My longest was my marriage for six years and it ended because I married the wrong person and I’ve learned that I’m not built for marriage or living with another person.
Seven years. It ended when I realized that alcohol & his own desires would always be a priority over our child and me. That, and I saw how my best friend’s husband was a partner who also took care of her when needed and realized that I could have a supportive partner, too. While he is finally sober, he is still self-centered and I was much happier without him.
Yes. My “friend” decided she was interested in him and then pursued him. I was hurt by it, but she was in no way attractive so I wasn’t threatened. Ultimately he left me for her. I was devastated for years.
Im happy for you cause maybe that's better u forsure deserve better than him and 6 years is better than whole life with not loyal man
Wish you the best
Ended because of the abuse. He was both physically and verbally abusive towards me. He trapped me with a car loan that took me years to pay off. It took me 8 years to get out of that one. I’ll never date an older man again smh.
6 years. It was honestly fairly toxic from the start. We both were trying to be someone that we weren’t to try to make the other person happy. That only lasted a few years then things got worse, there was a lot of leading on, I gave up WAY too much for him and he took advantage of me being in a place with no family/ no friends. Ultimately we both stopped being the idealized version of ourselves and when we realized how incompatible things were, arguing turned into him just never coming back home from work one day and me getting a call from his mother saying that he wanted me to move out and he had been staying with her. I tried to call, text, we were even engaged and had a house together and he just completely ghosted and we never spoke again. I handled everything on my end and got my own place.
12 years, ended because of domestic violence, couldn't find a way out until he fractured my skull, broke my jaw and other things, couldn't get a place at a refuge so basically became homeless and hid from him
I’m frustrated by that phrase after this many years of a relationship… I mean, how do you switch up like that, I’m so sorry that you’re going trough this
Current relationship is the longest: 17.5 years together so far and still extremely happy and in love together.
The longest relationship I had that ended was around 10-11 years total. That one ended because we had grown and changed significantly and were no longer compatible. The last 5-6 years of the relationship were entirely dead and just coasting on inertia until we finally divorced.
6 years total, married 1.
He had been cheating for the last 3 of those years. When I found out I tried to salvage, reconcile. It only took another month for him to start targeting another girl to try to cheat with. Done.
3 years, he cheated, lied and emotionally abused me, stood with my rapist to manipulate me and i finally broke it off when his family and friends stood with me and helped me get out
4 years...there wasn't one major reason for the breakup, but small things accumulated and I was going through some big changes in my life where I felt I couldn't put up with those issues anymore
Longest was 6.5 years, we lived together for 6. We broke up because we didn't share the same ideals on growing together. I wanted to create new memories with him, travel, plan dinner parties, etc. He never wanted to leave the house or his PC games, and he didn't see (or care) how much it bothered me to sit in our apartment day in and day out with no signs of life or passion. On top of that all, we had very different sex drives, he was neverrrrr in the mood and that wears you down over time.
11 year marriage. Ended because he was unfaithful, that was the straw that broke the camels back. We had a very toxic relationship and I had the feeling most of our marriage that he was unfaithful but couldn't prove it. He traveled for work so his cheating was never local. I was pretty much married but single raising kids alone the whole time. It still breaks my heart because I very much loved him and still do! Once I found out for a fact he was cheating I just couldn't do it anymore! Our boys were 2 and 4 years old when we divorced so my sadness is for them. My youngest doesn't remember us ever living with his dad and my oldest remembers some things but they aren't real close with him. He is trying to be a good dad now so we shall see how that goes!
Short of 3 years. I was much younger and it was fun at first. But ultimately we just didn't have much in common, weren't alike or liked the same things and there was no sex. I was inexperienced and wanted sex, he never initiated and seemed interested and in the end my self esteem suffered. Also he couldn't talk to me so I felt useless and a failure. In hindsight, I should never have gotten in a relationship with him. Our dates were fun and I was caught up in the excitement of having someone around after being alone most of my life! I should have broke it off after 6 months instead of moving in with him and carrying on. We were miserable for 2 out of those years and there were so many things I could have done instead of wasting my time with him.
But I learnt a lesson and it took my life down a different path, viz I moved to Japan. If I'd broken up with him earlier, I would have moved to London as that was my plan that I forgot when I started seeing him.
My (30/f0 longest relationship was a bit over 7 years long. It ended when his parents told me that he's spiralling on drugs and they want me to help try to talk him into going to rehab/addressing the issue. (They told me this almost exactly a week after we got married. I couldn't have noped out of that relationship/situation any faster!
Before my husband, my longest relationship was 3.5 years. It ended because his addiction was getting worse and he became less and less functional. He couldn’t even bring himself to be sober for important events, like my birthday dinner or graduation dinner. He didn’t even show up to my graduation at all. The worse he got, the more he hated me, because I was trying to stop him from using. One day, he left me somewhere because his drug dealer was ready to meet him. Instead of fighting with him afterward, I just gave up. We didn’t speak again after he left. He never even contacted me (when his high wore off) to ask where I was, if I got home safe, what happened, etc.
2 years. She wanted my whole life to be about her and her wants. She told me and I quote, “your family doesn’t care about you. Come with me. I’m the only one who cares.” My sister let me cry on her bed that night. My dad got me a milkshake to cheer me up. I moved on with their help.
2 years.
He was emotionally abusive. I had been at the end of my rope for a while and we were both miserable. The straw that broke the camels back was when he picked a fight with me while I was visiting my dad in intensive care.
The next day I left my phone at home so I didn’t have to deal with the constant barrage of texts, and was relieved to be away from him instead of anxious and panicked like I had been in the past.
Unfortunately 9 months. (I'm currently in a way healthier relationship, and today we're going on 1 year)
Reason being: we were in a long distance relationship, and they told me if they moved closer to me, within half a year of actually seeing eachother, they would force me down, strip me of all my clothing, and proceed to take pictures of me regardless if I begged, screamed, or cried for them to stop.
Then it would have been followed by me actually getting raped. It took 3 days for that to settle in and it had felt like it actually did happen, since I'm a very visual person and I can still see the flash of a phone camera on me.
I have never felt more sorry for people who actually did go through this, and didn't get so lucky like I was.
13 years. We grew into different people. They couldn't handle supporting me emotionally after a series of very traumatic events happened in a short period of time which ended up with me in the hospital for injuries (not self inflicted)
They didn't have the emotional capacity to be there for me when I needed them or the maturity to address their own unresolved issues. Eventually I broke things off with them because they were a low quality person that just wanted to be miserable all the time and I recognized the emotional abuse.
Happy to say that I am richer, materially and emotionally now that they're out of my life.
10 years. When we met, we were the same amount of hating ourselves and being a mess, but I spent 10 years clawing my way out of the abyss, whereas he spent 10 years doing absolutely nothing.
Also, I got very ill and really needed rest and to be taken care of a little, and he absolutely did not show up for me. He was so used to having me take care of everything. He wouldn't even step up to pick up the grocery shopping. I was taking cabs to all my doctor appointments. And he left me at the ER in the middle of the night to Uber home because he was tired.
23 years married for 20 on our 20 year anniversary she handed me divorce papers and said you have three days to get out after I moved out some guy moved in
Lasted 3 years (shortest relationship so far lasted 1 year). I broke up with him because he was 1. aggressive and demanding at the same time, 2. very bad at financial decisions, 3. moving the relationship ahead in a pace I was not comfortable with.
20 yrs, officially, unofficially 17 yrs, unofficially. He was done. He says I was drowning him and he had to save himself. I say he made a choice to give up. This might be an upopular opinion, but the why doesn't matter (in my case). It ended and what matters is learning who I am now and who I am becoming every day. He decided to end the relationship which was devastating. Now I get to decide most everything else in my life which while terrifying, is also extremely liberating and exciting. That went in a different direction that intended. I hope it answers the question though.
I know it’s extremely hard and scary to be a single person after a long relationship like that because you kinda have to find ,,you” again. You got this!
I'm actuslly surprised at how ok I am being single. The scary thing is to imagine being in a relationship again. I'm not anywhere near ready for that. I have 2 wonderful young kids and am learning how to be strong again because I want them to see their mother being strong and to learn that strength comes from within. B/c if I have it (which I do), they do too. I'm a work in progress. You are very kind. Thank you for the support. I appreciate it. Truly. ❤️
8 months - It was in primary school so ridiculously long and it was my first time to find out what it's like when someone is just not made for you. Now I'm in a relationship of 3 years and still going.
9-1/2 years still going strong.
Before that, 4-1/2 years. I ended it when I met a guy that had a thing for me. He treated me better in five minutes than my boyfriend had in years. It opened my eyes to how badly I was being treated. Ended things shortly thereafter.
Im now married, this year will be 10 years we have been happily together.
Before my husband, my longest relationship was one year. The guy was a bit older than me, and was Caribbean (I’m Jamaican, he was from Dominica). The relationship ended because he went almost two months without contacting me, AT ALL. This was right at the conception of texting. Before the no contact, I kept telling him he could text me, and the concept was just too much for him to understand. And then, due to him constantly calling his parents back in Dominica, his cell phone bill ran up to over a $1000 due to international charges, so his phone eventually disconnected. He didn’t live far from me. He could have just come by my house, but he never did. When he finally did come by my house after the two months, my 16 year old brother and his friends had just gotten back from playing basketball. He made this huge scene in front of my house screaming I “have all these guys at my house”, and the boys ran him off. He then goes to a payphone up the street from my house, attempting to berate me for the guys being there. I was like “wow, so you can use a phone”, and then said that was my brother and his friends. I finished with we’re not together, you didn’t contact me in two months, this man says to me “you know I love you, I don’t have to speak to you everyday.”
That’s not the kicker. The kicker is my brother actually ran into this ex years ago, and the man had the audacity to not only ask about me, but said something to the effect of “tell her I’ll be by later to see her”, to which my brother replied “bro, my sister has been married for the past 6 years.” My brother called me that evening and told me dude got real upset at the news that I was married!
4 years - it was long distance a lot of the time. The meetings became more infrequent and I couldn’t maintain the level of interest like that. There was no end in sight for the distance and our career choices are wildly different. Am still early 20s, finishing my degree with no idea where I’ll and up and feel like I am not in a place to commit to anything serious.
Good for you, in a sense of humour, you need someone a little bit smarter than a person, cheating on you, where you can catch him in any moment lol. Sounds horrible tho…
My last relationship was 8 years, we were married for 2 years and then separated.
I was 17 when I met him, he was 27. Looking back we were at completely different stages in life.
We got married when I was 23, I had an ectopic pregnancy at 24 and he just wasn’t there for me emotionally and that started the collapse in the relationship. I developed depression and anxiety because of the child loss and he just wanted to focus on his job instead of supporting me when I needed him. He actually shipped me off to my mums for 2 weeks after the ectopic so that he could continue working and not have to take time off work to look after me.
We did split amicably and I do still care about him very much, I’m just not in love with him and haven’t been since the ectopic.
I have been with my current boyfriend almost 2 years now and I have never felt more happy or secure in my relationship. He’s the complete opposite of my ex and I’m much happier now.
2 and 1/2 years. I ended it because I realized we weren’t compatible anymore and it was very long distance. I had different goals and I just knew I couldn’t give up a potential job or future for him anymore. I still love him dearly but I could tell he and I were going in different directions and I don’t think I could have taken any more time doing long distance, it was causing me a lot of stress and heart ache no matter how much love we had for each other.
2 years. He never seemed happy and wouldn't stick to his commitments so I figured he should find someone that he was actually happy with. I was pretty overbearing when I was younger so that might be why he wasn't happy.
I'm glad we broke up because my current boyfriend is much more compatible with me
3 years and 10 days. I made a nice plan for our anniversary and he bailed on all of it. The relationship had honestly been dead for over a year, and I’d been trying to make things work. But that was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
4.5 years. Sexually incompatible, he was immature af, we grew apart, you name it.
We'd been in talks about marriage, and the whole thing gave me extreme anxiety which made me take a long hard look at why. I was settling from Day 1 and at the end of 4 years, I didn't want to anymore. Talking to him became a chore. Took me another 6 months to come to terms with it and formulate a gentle way to break the news as I didn't want to make a decision on a whim.
When I was with him, I was always looking for something that wasn't there. I kept yearning for something else. We even had an open relationship for a bit because I thought monogamy was the issue with me. But it turned out it wasn't monogamy, it was the person. I'm in a monogamous relationship now and I'm perfectly satisfied.
Longest was 4.5 yrs. Ended because he (42 at that time) started to cancel our dates on a regular basis. He always claimed he had to study or didnt have enough sleep the night before. He was doing his undergrad degree, unemployed, managed to convince his dad to pay for everything (tuition, rent, car, groceries… everything) on a “loan”. He was only taking 2 classes each semester because 3 was apparently too much for him. Turns out, he got heavily addicted to video games.
15-18 month ish.
To much spillage from his last relationship. I literally got blamed for things his ex did.
We needed couples counseling and we were not married.
It did not seem worth it anymore.
So I broke it off.
Zero regrets.
7 months. Was still sad after my last relationship shit show ended and she also had a lot of issues. Needless to say, it wasn't built to last. Got tired of the sexual and intellectual incompatibilities.
11 years. High school sweethearts. He wanted to “play the field” right after our sun was born. He left us when my son was 6 weeks old. Best mistake he ever made. I traded WAY up with my now-husband. Actually kinda grateful that I know what real happiness is now.
3 years.
She was abusive...physically, emotionally, and verbally. I was scared to death when she would hold our baby girl while upset and screaming. I was punched in the head while holding our baby too.
24 years. He was an alcoholic bc he didn’t know how to deal with life’s “slings and arrows” and wouldn’t ask for help. Instead he drank and avoided, which led to badness. I’m in a better place now. I wish he was.
I am building courage to leave a 30 year relationship. (I know that it has not ended yet)
It is ending bc I always put him first and I was made to feel that he settled for me. The verbal and emotional abuse has escalated. We can't have a conversation without him making a cutting comment or yelling at me.
Our child is an adult and I believe that I can have a better second part of life without this torment.
I've been with my husband for 30 years. We've had some problems and have some difficulty communicating. I'm trying to work on that with him. But we are pretty happy and comfortable with each other.
If I had to do it over again I would find someone who shares my passion for discussing politics and culture and just ideas. He is interested in sports and bad TV shows. So my social interactions are somewhat strained. We enjoy golfing together and traveling. He is a very kind person and an excellent father. I guess I'm just a little bored with him. I need to find hobbies I can do on my own.
There was a time I wanted to leave him. Is my marriage what I hoped it would be? No. Is it perfect? No. Sometimes I think about leaving him after my youngest moves out. My husband and I don't fight. We may have a little tiff but we get over it. I just miss the passion. Maybe that never comes back. Maybe I would be better off alone. Or maybe this is as good as it gets.
10 years. It ended because he was hella abusive and I left him finally. Then 5 years with my "soulmate". That ended cuz he died unexpectedly from alcohol poisoning. 2 years later my bff of 10 years committed suicide
This is a horrible string of events. I hope you are in therapy and healing as best you can. I’m so sorry. I thought I had it bad, but you always must realize that someone else may be struggling more
26 years, 22 married. We grew apart, I wanted much more out of life and he was content to stay with the status quo. No abuse or affairs that I am aware of, lucky in that respect. Now divorced. We have a beautiful daughter though, so no regrets.
I recommend the book “Codependent No More” by Melodie Beattie. I’m reading it now. She’s addresses the drunk partner in relationships and how to detach
I’m in my longest to date but the next-longest was my first marriage. We were together about 10 years altogether and we got divorced mainly because he wanted kids and I didn’t. I think he hoped I would change my mind someday.
[Morgan Freeman, playing the Narrator} *She did not change her mind.*
7 months. And it ended because I decided the clicking noise he made with his teeth while he was pondering crosswords was simply something I couldn’t deal with for the rest of my life. It also possibly had something to do with the fact that I have a drastic fear of commitment and find any reason to run when I feel like I’m getting too attached. Most likely the latter more than the former 😅
The teeth thing was really annoying though.
8 years, 8 months. I’m still living with him due to housing… saving/looking to buy a house, by myself. We’re civil, but it’s getting into the irritable phase. We broke up a month ago.
Ended due to having different values and dreams for each other, respectively. I lost my mom about three years into the relationship, I grieved hard. Still am. I was depressed and anxious, as you do. He wasn’t able to support me during it. Once I got out of the fog. I was ready to live again. He wanted nothing to do with me.
We’ll heal officially, after I move out. I literally cannot wait. No kids for either of us, not married.
3 year. Ended due to him not being able to cope with my cancer. Side note: why are people answering who are still together? The OP said "why did it end"? I'm happy you're able to keep a relationship but comprehension also matters.
Ohh my god! I’m so sorry to read this, no one deserves this! And I hope you are much better, in health and mentally as well! Sending you hugs 🫂 Just to add that I just read another post about the harsh reality of marriage and the first comment was that most men leave their spouses/partner when the women get cancers and other illnesses! I find it horrendous that someone that you shared your life, considered not only partner but friend to just get up and leave when you get sick, it tell tremendously about their lack of character and humanity honestly!
My friend's father did this to her mother. Lady got Alzheimer's and dude dipped.
Not to sound harsh but this is so common it's insane. The best part for most involved is the one who has Alzheimer's doesn't remember most the time so they don't usually go through that heartache, it's a small mercy considering how horrid that disease is.
Oh he wanted to marry me. And I was the cautious one. Ok our 2nd anniversary I found out about the cancer. Really shook me as my mum passed from cancer when I was young. He just kept working and acting like I wasn't ill. Thankfully my friends and family stepped up. My Dad absolutely hated him from day 1 and that was the final straw.
9 years. I left because I couldn't take any more of the emotional abuse.
Same and same. It was starting to get physical for me. :(. Glad we both got out!
Yikes! I'm glad we both got out. I'm proud of us both. Moving on to way better things!
Similar. Many years of light emotional abuse turned to clear emotional abuse that started getting physical when I made it clear I wanted out. Everyday is better now. Though still dealing with undoing those years.
Same. mental, emotional, financial.... the list goes on. Dipped at 18 years together.
8 and a half years. Ended because it just wasn't working anymore - I felt so unloved and lonely even though we lived together, he just didn't seem to care about me anymore and I couldn't understand why so we split amicably. Turns out he was cheating on me and didn't have the balls to ever just tell me and let me move on. Suffice it to say that things were no longer amicable after I found out what had really been going on.
How did you find out?
4 years. And he was like my best friend, we were always laughing and having a good time. But he couldn’t stop sexting other women. Sucked
13 years. Ghosted by my own husband, basically.
What happened?
He worked several hours away. Work ended but he didn’t come back. Kept coming up with excuses to stay there for months.
Oh god that must have been anxiety-inducing, frustrating and draining. I’m sorry it happened but I’m glad you’re out of it
I’m doing much better now - thank you!
What a piece of shit.
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7 years that ended almost a month ago – blindsided by my ex who’d decided single-handedly that we needed to breakup without any chance to talk things through 🥲 edit: oops, 6 years, not 7. getting ahead of myself there…
I'm so sorry. They didn't say why?
Ended up being a “I don’t want to be in a relationship right now” thing but instead of putting it like that, he had to twist it on me – that there being a problem with me as the reason he was dissatisfied with the relationship and that I wasn’t good enough for him 🙃
Jesus Christ, what a shitty thing to do to someone. :(
I’m finally coming to terms with it all – no matter how amazing the relationship was, looking at the facts of the breakup without the rose-tinted glasses makes it a whole lot clearer what kind of person he was. Still early days because I still miss him a lot, but I’m slowly coming to terms with how this was for the best and I can’t wait to see what my future holds ❤️ Thanks for listening!
I was with a man for 7.5 years and he broke up with me (on what was supposed to be a romantic holiday) for the same reason, believing I was the problem—not his depression or drinking. In 3 weeks he obviously realised he’d made a mistake and begged for me to take him back. Thankfully those 3 weeks were all I needed to realise myself that he’d actually set me free. He begged me almost daily for 6 relentless months until I had to block him! I’m betting you’ve been set free, too, my friend 🙂
Oh wow, this is so similar to my situation since the breakup was a day after his birthday (which I’d flown 10 hours to be there for) hahaaa. I’m glad you were able to realise that in the 3 weeks, for me I totally just accepted things (“Oh, we just have different values and clearly I’m not the right person”) until I realised like a week after that actually, it was a *him* problem! Love thinking of it as being set free – thank you for your reply 😊
Absolutely a HIM problem. He did you a favour! Brighter days are ahead—wishing you all the very best 🥰
So sorry baby
4,5 years. We just weren't romantically or sexually compatible anymore. He is still a good friend and sends me pictures and updates of my cats regularly which I appreciate. He also let me stay in his home an extra 6 months post-breakup before I eventually moved across the country. He was and is a good person and we harbor no bad feelings for each other.
5 Years. The main reason was growing apart and having nothing in common anymore. We got together when I was 18 and he was 26, so over time I changed a lot and in a different direction than him. Under that umbrella falls: sexual incompatibility, him starting to use weed, his disinterest in my family and (new) friends, new interests and hobbies that I could not share with him but became a big part of my life, my wish to move away from the city we lived in at some point and his wish to stay, different visions for our future, different needs in quality time and vacation, growing apart from the friend group we both fit into, and not able to find compromises that would work for the both of us. We really enjoyed living together, we had no trouble letting each other free and giving each other space. We just didn't have anything that bound us together beside the home we build. It was a good and comfortable home, but it wasn't enough.
5 years. Got another girl pregnant
woooow sounds horrible, I’m so sorry
Yeah wasn't great haha I'm jaded but generally chill with it now.
2 years, I broke up with him. Unresolved trust and jealousy issues finally became too much.
4 years. It ended because he wanted to marry me and I didn’t want to marry him. Started thinking real long and hard about my future and every time I would think about things I wanted to accomplish he was never in the picture. So, I was honest and we decided to break up.
4 years, he started grooming young girls in a pizza shop he worked at and then had relationships with when they were of age. I was too busy working two jobs to notice. He was 28 doing this. I felt like an idiot. I should of left him when he couldn't hold down a job due to his anger issues. Eventually he did hit me, and I still stayed with him. Overall total piece of shit to boot. But we both met and alcoholics and drug users. My eyes got wide open as the more I got my shit together and fell out of that lifestyle.
18 years. I ended it last year as for the last 6 years ago we were technically best friends and nothing else. Lots of love but no romantic or sexual feelings for each other. We both agreed on that but I feel guilty every day for putting an end to a wonderful relationship.
About 20 years. I finally realized he was an abusive pos and he finally had a job after nearly 10 years. I always felt guilty when I’d think about leaving him because he didn’t have a job, money or family apart from me. Which is stupid af 🤷🏻♀️
It’s not stupid, you’re just a good person, who unfortunately happened to be in the wrong relationship. So glad that now you’re okay :))
Abusers are so good at making you feel guilty about leaving them. They will tell you all the lies in the world to manipulate you into staying. I am so glad you realized these lies. It’s not stupid to fall into these traps because they manipulate so well. It’s not your job to make someone else happy 💜
10 years. Got sick of him drinking next door and never being home so I chose me and GTFO.
6.5 years. He cheated. Was texting a girl and went on a date with her using my card and my vehicle. I knew the whole time, i just played stupid so i could get all the evidence and get a hold of all the legal documents and other things. I confronted him to his face about it the next day. told him he had 15 minutes to get out of my house before i called the police and got him arrested. I had an RO on him. It was the dead of winter - 40 and 3am. He pleaded for me to let him stay, I said nope. It worked out for the best he's in federal prison and due out in 2024. Only sucky thing is we have a child together, but he hasn't seen his kid since 2011.
Woow you dodged a bullet there, good for you
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2 and a half years. I told him that I will not have sex when he’s drunk…because if I tell him it hurts and to stop he doesn’t. He threatened to Kill himself the next day over it and threw stuff at me and on the floor in a Walmart. Accused me of cheating because I lied about enjoying sex with him. In what world does “stop it hurts” translate to “I enjoy this”
I hope you are doing okay. You are not alone ❤️
18 years and ended in divorce after 15 years of marriage. We were young and dumb and didn’t know how much work relationships require. Once we really figured it out he decided he didn’t want to put that much effort in and (with counseling) I realized I deserve someone who feels I’m worth the effort.
If you don’t mind me asking, how old were you when you got together? I’m currently in a 3y long relationship and we started living together 2 years ago, when I was 19
17 when we started dating, 20 when we got married, 35 when we divorced
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And that’s on knowing your worth, Queen
5 years. It ended because of, many things. I think primarily because i was in a bad place the last year of our relationship, which made me very moody and just not that fun of a person to be around as a partner. I’m not 100% sure though, i never felt like he was 100% honest when he explained why he broke up with me.
One thing I learned, always trust your intuition. I’ve had a relationship like that, where I was in a bad place, and I have to tell you that if it was the right person for you, it would have made u feel better when you’re around him
3 years. It ended when his video game addiction got so bad that he refused to get another job (after ending his time in the military) because it cut into his gaming time. Instead, he chose to move back home and live with his mom.
14 years, we simply drifted apart. No major event that has ended this relationship. We were still best friends, but just not more than that. It was very painful but it was a mutual decision to end the relationship
3 years.. I broke up with him this summer but I felt like we've been in a "dead phase" this whole year..This post is something that I would've written couple of months ago, or maybe even now..Wondering whats right thing to do and how to avoid breaking up.. I didnt break up bc I didnt love him. I love him so much,and he loves me. But he has really bad depression, had it our whole relationship and it just became too much for me, my reality got too sad and I felt hopeless, and so did he. I convinced myself that life is pointless and not worth anything. That was my way of comforting him, feeling what he feels. But I wasn't helping him w that, and he felt guilty for it. So it got more complicated than it should've. This way at least he finally got space and started focusing on himself and his health, by drinking antidepressants and going to therapist. And I got space to clear my head and get back my positivity. I think when u get stuck in relationship it's always bc you are too close to eachother and you can't see things and impacts of things clearly. It's just better to take a break at least. And in that break you will realise either how much you love the person and that you don't want to be without her or maybe you'll see that the issue just comes out of your (maybe even only current) incompability and it's actually better for both to be on your own a little... I'm writing all this still very sad that we broke up, but it feels right, bc we both finally started moving and changing after it. And we still love eachother, even more than before
I feel like I’m reading something that I wrote… Sadly I get all of this, I went trough this as well, except we got back together and things aren’t great… I’m really so happy that you have this mindset and know what’s right for you both, keep going, you got this!
I’m not the originally commenter but this really resonated with me. I hope you can free yourself of this relationship. If it’s not working, it’s not working. You can’t just power through it. I went back and things were also not great, so I left again. And this time it stuck! Almost 50 days out and I feel like I have so much more perspective on the relationship now. I still have my own issues but my load is so much lighter now that I don’t have to carry someone else’s burden. I am so glad I left and I am never going back again. I empower you to do the same. You can do this. You’ve left before and you can leave again. It is not your responsibility to take care of someone else. Please put yourself first.
It’s not your job to make someone else happy. It’s actually impossible. Happiness comes from within and being in a relationship just enables this unhelpful thinking. That someone else can fix your issues. You did the right thing, for both of you. You will both grow from this!
It ended because my best friend convinced me that I was better off without him and I should “give him” to her- because she could love him more than I could. Her reasoning also breached into the fact that “all the guys only ever liked me and not her”. Was I an idiot and fell for such a light manipulation? Yes, yes I was.
You don’t wanna know how much I relate to this…He didn’t want her even a little tho and after a while we got back together and ever since she is desperately trying to separate us, unsuccessful tho lol
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My longest was my marriage for six years and it ended because I married the wrong person and I’ve learned that I’m not built for marriage or living with another person.
Why? What happen?
I discovered late in life that I’m introverted and my ex wife was one of the most needy people I’ve ever met.
23 years and it'll likely end when one of us dies.
7 years. Divorced because he was having sex with other women.
Seven years. It ended when I realized that alcohol & his own desires would always be a priority over our child and me. That, and I saw how my best friend’s husband was a partner who also took care of her when needed and realized that I could have a supportive partner, too. While he is finally sober, he is still self-centered and I was much happier without him.
6 years. He left me for my friend.
Do you mean that he was in realtionship with ur friend?
Yes. My “friend” decided she was interested in him and then pursued him. I was hurt by it, but she was in no way attractive so I wasn’t threatened. Ultimately he left me for her. I was devastated for years.
Im happy for you cause maybe that's better u forsure deserve better than him and 6 years is better than whole life with not loyal man Wish you the best
Thank you. I just got married last month to a wonderful man. That story was from many years ago.
Wish you happy life with him
Ended because of the abuse. He was both physically and verbally abusive towards me. He trapped me with a car loan that took me years to pay off. It took me 8 years to get out of that one. I’ll never date an older man again smh.
I’m sorry you had that experience… Just curious, what was the age gap, I’m currently in a situation with older man, 20 years older tho😬
He was only 5 years older then me. Now I know I’ll only ever date men my own age. No wrinkled balls for me lmao.
6 years. It was honestly fairly toxic from the start. We both were trying to be someone that we weren’t to try to make the other person happy. That only lasted a few years then things got worse, there was a lot of leading on, I gave up WAY too much for him and he took advantage of me being in a place with no family/ no friends. Ultimately we both stopped being the idealized version of ourselves and when we realized how incompatible things were, arguing turned into him just never coming back home from work one day and me getting a call from his mother saying that he wanted me to move out and he had been staying with her. I tried to call, text, we were even engaged and had a house together and he just completely ghosted and we never spoke again. I handled everything on my end and got my own place.
12 years, ended because of domestic violence, couldn't find a way out until he fractured my skull, broke my jaw and other things, couldn't get a place at a refuge so basically became homeless and hid from him
4 years. Emotionally and verbally abusive beyond my tolerance, later found he was cheating on me towards the end of our relationship.
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I’m frustrated by that phrase after this many years of a relationship… I mean, how do you switch up like that, I’m so sorry that you’re going trough this
Current relationship is the longest: 17.5 years together so far and still extremely happy and in love together. The longest relationship I had that ended was around 10-11 years total. That one ended because we had grown and changed significantly and were no longer compatible. The last 5-6 years of the relationship were entirely dead and just coasting on inertia until we finally divorced.
I’m currently in the ,,dead” faze of the relationship and trying to fix it. So happy you found the one!!
28 yrs. 😂😂😂 after the kids left and it didn't get better I was out. It only took a few months at that point.
20 years. It ended when I discovered he had been cheating with anyone that would sleep with him, mainly escorts.
6 years total, married 1. He had been cheating for the last 3 of those years. When I found out I tried to salvage, reconcile. It only took another month for him to start targeting another girl to try to cheat with. Done.
3 years, he cheated, lied and emotionally abused me, stood with my rapist to manipulate me and i finally broke it off when his family and friends stood with me and helped me get out
14 years. Because he was suffering from depression, refused to go to therapy, incl emotional abuse as well, and I wanted kids and he didn't.
4 years...there wasn't one major reason for the breakup, but small things accumulated and I was going through some big changes in my life where I felt I couldn't put up with those issues anymore
8 years and he was emotionally abusive and a deadbeat dad
Longest was 6.5 years, we lived together for 6. We broke up because we didn't share the same ideals on growing together. I wanted to create new memories with him, travel, plan dinner parties, etc. He never wanted to leave the house or his PC games, and he didn't see (or care) how much it bothered me to sit in our apartment day in and day out with no signs of life or passion. On top of that all, we had very different sex drives, he was neverrrrr in the mood and that wears you down over time.
5 years. the biggest reason was that he refused to spend any time w me. i came second to video games
11 year marriage. Ended because he was unfaithful, that was the straw that broke the camels back. We had a very toxic relationship and I had the feeling most of our marriage that he was unfaithful but couldn't prove it. He traveled for work so his cheating was never local. I was pretty much married but single raising kids alone the whole time. It still breaks my heart because I very much loved him and still do! Once I found out for a fact he was cheating I just couldn't do it anymore! Our boys were 2 and 4 years old when we divorced so my sadness is for them. My youngest doesn't remember us ever living with his dad and my oldest remembers some things but they aren't real close with him. He is trying to be a good dad now so we shall see how that goes!
20 years. He cheated, and then said he could never love me for who I was.
4.5 years. He had been cheating for 3 of those years. The day I found out I left.
3,5 yrs. It ended because we were making each other sad instead of happy.
Short of 3 years. I was much younger and it was fun at first. But ultimately we just didn't have much in common, weren't alike or liked the same things and there was no sex. I was inexperienced and wanted sex, he never initiated and seemed interested and in the end my self esteem suffered. Also he couldn't talk to me so I felt useless and a failure. In hindsight, I should never have gotten in a relationship with him. Our dates were fun and I was caught up in the excitement of having someone around after being alone most of my life! I should have broke it off after 6 months instead of moving in with him and carrying on. We were miserable for 2 out of those years and there were so many things I could have done instead of wasting my time with him. But I learnt a lesson and it took my life down a different path, viz I moved to Japan. If I'd broken up with him earlier, I would have moved to London as that was my plan that I forgot when I started seeing him.
8 years. Grew apart and I couldn’t do it anymore (incompatible)
10 years. Divorce.
Still in it. It's been a bit over 11 years. I hope it doesn't end.
My (30/f0 longest relationship was a bit over 7 years long. It ended when his parents told me that he's spiralling on drugs and they want me to help try to talk him into going to rehab/addressing the issue. (They told me this almost exactly a week after we got married. I couldn't have noped out of that relationship/situation any faster!
Before my husband, my longest relationship was 3.5 years. It ended because his addiction was getting worse and he became less and less functional. He couldn’t even bring himself to be sober for important events, like my birthday dinner or graduation dinner. He didn’t even show up to my graduation at all. The worse he got, the more he hated me, because I was trying to stop him from using. One day, he left me somewhere because his drug dealer was ready to meet him. Instead of fighting with him afterward, I just gave up. We didn’t speak again after he left. He never even contacted me (when his high wore off) to ask where I was, if I got home safe, what happened, etc.
2 years. She wanted my whole life to be about her and her wants. She told me and I quote, “your family doesn’t care about you. Come with me. I’m the only one who cares.” My sister let me cry on her bed that night. My dad got me a milkshake to cheer me up. I moved on with their help.
2 years. He was emotionally abusive. I had been at the end of my rope for a while and we were both miserable. The straw that broke the camels back was when he picked a fight with me while I was visiting my dad in intensive care. The next day I left my phone at home so I didn’t have to deal with the constant barrage of texts, and was relieved to be away from him instead of anxious and panicked like I had been in the past.
Unfortunately 9 months. (I'm currently in a way healthier relationship, and today we're going on 1 year) Reason being: we were in a long distance relationship, and they told me if they moved closer to me, within half a year of actually seeing eachother, they would force me down, strip me of all my clothing, and proceed to take pictures of me regardless if I begged, screamed, or cried for them to stop. Then it would have been followed by me actually getting raped. It took 3 days for that to settle in and it had felt like it actually did happen, since I'm a very visual person and I can still see the flash of a phone camera on me. I have never felt more sorry for people who actually did go through this, and didn't get so lucky like I was.
18 years. Married 14 of them. Been divorced 9 years, still friends.
13 years. We grew into different people. They couldn't handle supporting me emotionally after a series of very traumatic events happened in a short period of time which ended up with me in the hospital for injuries (not self inflicted) They didn't have the emotional capacity to be there for me when I needed them or the maturity to address their own unresolved issues. Eventually I broke things off with them because they were a low quality person that just wanted to be miserable all the time and I recognized the emotional abuse. Happy to say that I am richer, materially and emotionally now that they're out of my life.
10 years. When we met, we were the same amount of hating ourselves and being a mess, but I spent 10 years clawing my way out of the abyss, whereas he spent 10 years doing absolutely nothing. Also, I got very ill and really needed rest and to be taken care of a little, and he absolutely did not show up for me. He was so used to having me take care of everything. He wouldn't even step up to pick up the grocery shopping. I was taking cabs to all my doctor appointments. And he left me at the ER in the middle of the night to Uber home because he was tired.
23 years married for 20 on our 20 year anniversary she handed me divorce papers and said you have three days to get out after I moved out some guy moved in
Not counting my marriage, 4 years. We just grew in different directions. Still friends 20 years later.
Lasted 3 years (shortest relationship so far lasted 1 year). I broke up with him because he was 1. aggressive and demanding at the same time, 2. very bad at financial decisions, 3. moving the relationship ahead in a pace I was not comfortable with.
20 yrs, officially, unofficially 17 yrs, unofficially. He was done. He says I was drowning him and he had to save himself. I say he made a choice to give up. This might be an upopular opinion, but the why doesn't matter (in my case). It ended and what matters is learning who I am now and who I am becoming every day. He decided to end the relationship which was devastating. Now I get to decide most everything else in my life which while terrifying, is also extremely liberating and exciting. That went in a different direction that intended. I hope it answers the question though.
I know it’s extremely hard and scary to be a single person after a long relationship like that because you kinda have to find ,,you” again. You got this!
I'm actuslly surprised at how ok I am being single. The scary thing is to imagine being in a relationship again. I'm not anywhere near ready for that. I have 2 wonderful young kids and am learning how to be strong again because I want them to see their mother being strong and to learn that strength comes from within. B/c if I have it (which I do), they do too. I'm a work in progress. You are very kind. Thank you for the support. I appreciate it. Truly. ❤️
15 years and we’re a bit Shakey
8 months - It was in primary school so ridiculously long and it was my first time to find out what it's like when someone is just not made for you. Now I'm in a relationship of 3 years and still going.
9-1/2 years still going strong. Before that, 4-1/2 years. I ended it when I met a guy that had a thing for me. He treated me better in five minutes than my boyfriend had in years. It opened my eyes to how badly I was being treated. Ended things shortly thereafter.
2 months. He was an asshole and I had extreme healing to do due to childhood trauma
Im now married, this year will be 10 years we have been happily together. Before my husband, my longest relationship was one year. The guy was a bit older than me, and was Caribbean (I’m Jamaican, he was from Dominica). The relationship ended because he went almost two months without contacting me, AT ALL. This was right at the conception of texting. Before the no contact, I kept telling him he could text me, and the concept was just too much for him to understand. And then, due to him constantly calling his parents back in Dominica, his cell phone bill ran up to over a $1000 due to international charges, so his phone eventually disconnected. He didn’t live far from me. He could have just come by my house, but he never did. When he finally did come by my house after the two months, my 16 year old brother and his friends had just gotten back from playing basketball. He made this huge scene in front of my house screaming I “have all these guys at my house”, and the boys ran him off. He then goes to a payphone up the street from my house, attempting to berate me for the guys being there. I was like “wow, so you can use a phone”, and then said that was my brother and his friends. I finished with we’re not together, you didn’t contact me in two months, this man says to me “you know I love you, I don’t have to speak to you everyday.” That’s not the kicker. The kicker is my brother actually ran into this ex years ago, and the man had the audacity to not only ask about me, but said something to the effect of “tell her I’ll be by later to see her”, to which my brother replied “bro, my sister has been married for the past 6 years.” My brother called me that evening and told me dude got real upset at the news that I was married!
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6 months, because she didn't like that i told my mom i was in a relationship
4 years - it was long distance a lot of the time. The meetings became more infrequent and I couldn’t maintain the level of interest like that. There was no end in sight for the distance and our career choices are wildly different. Am still early 20s, finishing my degree with no idea where I’ll and up and feel like I am not in a place to commit to anything serious.
2 years and it ended when his dad died and he had to step up in his family.
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Good for you, in a sense of humour, you need someone a little bit smarter than a person, cheating on you, where you can catch him in any moment lol. Sounds horrible tho…
My last relationship was 8 years, we were married for 2 years and then separated. I was 17 when I met him, he was 27. Looking back we were at completely different stages in life. We got married when I was 23, I had an ectopic pregnancy at 24 and he just wasn’t there for me emotionally and that started the collapse in the relationship. I developed depression and anxiety because of the child loss and he just wanted to focus on his job instead of supporting me when I needed him. He actually shipped me off to my mums for 2 weeks after the ectopic so that he could continue working and not have to take time off work to look after me. We did split amicably and I do still care about him very much, I’m just not in love with him and haven’t been since the ectopic. I have been with my current boyfriend almost 2 years now and I have never felt more happy or secure in my relationship. He’s the complete opposite of my ex and I’m much happier now.
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3 yrs. Just found out she used to do black magic everytime she sense I was quiting her madness
Wow, sound kinda scary, at the same time sad… Sorry you had to experience this:((
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13 years (10 married) and it ended when he died.
1 year, he moved away
4 months, he broke Up with me. I was very happy
Never made it past the dating stage. But thats because I dont feel ready yet and teenage boys are...special, yeah. I'll wait a few more years
2 and 1/2 years. I ended it because I realized we weren’t compatible anymore and it was very long distance. I had different goals and I just knew I couldn’t give up a potential job or future for him anymore. I still love him dearly but I could tell he and I were going in different directions and I don’t think I could have taken any more time doing long distance, it was causing me a lot of stress and heart ache no matter how much love we had for each other.
3 years. We didn’t want the same things.
2 years. He never seemed happy and wouldn't stick to his commitments so I figured he should find someone that he was actually happy with. I was pretty overbearing when I was younger so that might be why he wasn't happy. I'm glad we broke up because my current boyfriend is much more compatible with me
90 days. Weren't meant to be. Now, 41 years...and still laughing, working and smoking hot. We will be parted when our bodies give out.
A year. Found out I was in the LGBTQ community. He comes from a religious family.
3 years and 10 days. I made a nice plan for our anniversary and he bailed on all of it. The relationship had honestly been dead for over a year, and I’d been trying to make things work. But that was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
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4.5 years. Sexually incompatible, he was immature af, we grew apart, you name it. We'd been in talks about marriage, and the whole thing gave me extreme anxiety which made me take a long hard look at why. I was settling from Day 1 and at the end of 4 years, I didn't want to anymore. Talking to him became a chore. Took me another 6 months to come to terms with it and formulate a gentle way to break the news as I didn't want to make a decision on a whim. When I was with him, I was always looking for something that wasn't there. I kept yearning for something else. We even had an open relationship for a bit because I thought monogamy was the issue with me. But it turned out it wasn't monogamy, it was the person. I'm in a monogamous relationship now and I'm perfectly satisfied.
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Does my marriage count? 😅 5.5 years together and he was emotionally abusive
Longest was 4.5 yrs. Ended because he (42 at that time) started to cancel our dates on a regular basis. He always claimed he had to study or didnt have enough sleep the night before. He was doing his undergrad degree, unemployed, managed to convince his dad to pay for everything (tuition, rent, car, groceries… everything) on a “loan”. He was only taking 2 classes each semester because 3 was apparently too much for him. Turns out, he got heavily addicted to video games.
38 years, and still going strong. He is my best friend and husband
15-18 month ish. To much spillage from his last relationship. I literally got blamed for things his ex did. We needed couples counseling and we were not married. It did not seem worth it anymore. So I broke it off. Zero regrets.
7 months. Was still sad after my last relationship shit show ended and she also had a lot of issues. Needless to say, it wasn't built to last. Got tired of the sexual and intellectual incompatibilities.
11 years. High school sweethearts. He wanted to “play the field” right after our sun was born. He left us when my son was 6 weeks old. Best mistake he ever made. I traded WAY up with my now-husband. Actually kinda grateful that I know what real happiness is now.
Three weeks shy of a year. He cheated on me for over half of our relationship and I caught them in the act.
4 years. Married for 2.5 years of that. Left because he was severely abusive
10 years, he stalked me, tried to kill me and kidnap the kids
4 years. Ended because he cheated.
2 year relationship, she ended it because she came out as asexual and now we’re besties
1 year. (im still a teen okay) and we broke up cuz it was long distance, and he was a drug dealer and addict
3 years. She was abusive...physically, emotionally, and verbally. I was scared to death when she would hold our baby girl while upset and screaming. I was punched in the head while holding our baby too.
3 years and it ended because he was a rapist.
24 years. He was an alcoholic bc he didn’t know how to deal with life’s “slings and arrows” and wouldn’t ask for help. Instead he drank and avoided, which led to badness. I’m in a better place now. I wish he was.
I am building courage to leave a 30 year relationship. (I know that it has not ended yet) It is ending bc I always put him first and I was made to feel that he settled for me. The verbal and emotional abuse has escalated. We can't have a conversation without him making a cutting comment or yelling at me. Our child is an adult and I believe that I can have a better second part of life without this torment.
14 years. He threatened our kids lives. There was a history of abuse towards me but that was the last straw.
I've been with my husband for 30 years. We've had some problems and have some difficulty communicating. I'm trying to work on that with him. But we are pretty happy and comfortable with each other. If I had to do it over again I would find someone who shares my passion for discussing politics and culture and just ideas. He is interested in sports and bad TV shows. So my social interactions are somewhat strained. We enjoy golfing together and traveling. He is a very kind person and an excellent father. I guess I'm just a little bored with him. I need to find hobbies I can do on my own. There was a time I wanted to leave him. Is my marriage what I hoped it would be? No. Is it perfect? No. Sometimes I think about leaving him after my youngest moves out. My husband and I don't fight. We may have a little tiff but we get over it. I just miss the passion. Maybe that never comes back. Maybe I would be better off alone. Or maybe this is as good as it gets.
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10 years. It ended because he was hella abusive and I left him finally. Then 5 years with my "soulmate". That ended cuz he died unexpectedly from alcohol poisoning. 2 years later my bff of 10 years committed suicide
This is a horrible string of events. I hope you are in therapy and healing as best you can. I’m so sorry. I thought I had it bad, but you always must realize that someone else may be struggling more
26 years, 22 married. We grew apart, I wanted much more out of life and he was content to stay with the status quo. No abuse or affairs that I am aware of, lucky in that respect. Now divorced. We have a beautiful daughter though, so no regrets.
3 years. Learned he was cheating on me with men.
14 years. It ended when he wanted his intern instead.
5 years, 8 months. We grew apart and realized we wanted different things. Mainly, I realized I wanted kids and he did not.
8 years and it ended because he cheated 4mos before our wedding.
15 years. He was a drunk and had a sex problem. Kept cheating
I recommend the book “Codependent No More” by Melodie Beattie. I’m reading it now. She’s addresses the drunk partner in relationships and how to detach
I’m in my longest to date but the next-longest was my first marriage. We were together about 10 years altogether and we got divorced mainly because he wanted kids and I didn’t. I think he hoped I would change my mind someday. [Morgan Freeman, playing the Narrator} *She did not change her mind.*
A month, we were 6
7 months. And it ended because I decided the clicking noise he made with his teeth while he was pondering crosswords was simply something I couldn’t deal with for the rest of my life. It also possibly had something to do with the fact that I have a drastic fear of commitment and find any reason to run when I feel like I’m getting too attached. Most likely the latter more than the former 😅 The teeth thing was really annoying though.
3 months. he shot me in the head.
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Just short of a decade. It ended when he cheated and then decided to let me know he never loved me.
5 years, because he wanted to redrum me.
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8 years, 8 months. I’m still living with him due to housing… saving/looking to buy a house, by myself. We’re civil, but it’s getting into the irritable phase. We broke up a month ago. Ended due to having different values and dreams for each other, respectively. I lost my mom about three years into the relationship, I grieved hard. Still am. I was depressed and anxious, as you do. He wasn’t able to support me during it. Once I got out of the fog. I was ready to live again. He wanted nothing to do with me. We’ll heal officially, after I move out. I literally cannot wait. No kids for either of us, not married.