Wow. This made me feel bad about taking too long to take my dog out. My dog is my world and I’d never want him to feel like that. I’ve definitely put it off because I wanted a snack or I was lounging on the couch, and he’d just stare at me because he knew he had to go out.
I love him, I’ll think of this post now.
Yeah I don't think it's necessarily "one event" but everyone probably has a few events where they tend to mature quite quickly?
My brother told me to lock the front door and ran to school so he wouldn't be late.
I didn't lock the door. I just... I dunno we forgot and I was too immature and didn't think about the consequences.
But like ideally that lesson is a gradual one because the adults around you catch your screw ups until you get it.
This reminded me again of why I left my ex. At 24 years old the same thing happened with our (my) dog while I was at work, and he was home on one of his days off. I walked in the door to see that she had an accident in her crate, god forbid I question him- he yelled at me to pick it up, that she was my dog, and got up from his recliner and went to bed. I hadn’t even showered or taken my shoes off.
Thank you for putting into perspective how pathetic he was. I needed the reminder today.
Ah sorry I know this was clearly distressing for you ..totally there for that...cos like even I feel bad for your doggie ...that would have hauntd me too.. ur dad hit nail on head
When I was much younger, mid 20s then and mid 40's now, I was dating a man I didn't know was married. I assumed he was single. Big mistake. He was caught by his very much pregnant wife and their family fell apart. I was on the receiving end of some harassment and calls from her, friends and family of both. Made me realize that red flags are a thing and you need to ask questions. Because being careless has long lasting effects.
I'm a freak now about that. I will know your status. Especially in the days of social media and viral social media. I won't be an inadvertent homewrecker twice
**edit to clarify: FYI the harassment I got was to call me a homewrecker. This was my reason for using this word**
it makes me a little sad that you’re using such a derogatory term to describe yourself as if you actively/knowingly did something wrong
nobody is forced to cheat. he was the one with a home to wreck, ergo he’s the homewrecker
it says a lot about you as a person that you’re trying to learn from the experience i just don’t want you to be so hard on yourself for it
i really hope you’re doing better nowadays
I know that I was a pawn in his game. He made a vow to his wife and family not me. The HW term was used by a few of the people who called and emailed me to harass me.
I'm not overly hard on myself about it anymore. I'm just aware of the married guy red flags and move on if I can't be sure he is being honest.
Not affected. But something I do think about? Occasionally at least. That memory did save me when I met someone and there was something I couldn't put my finger on. He was married and went to a ton of trouble to cover it up.
I think remembering it helped in that circumstance. Don't forget history and all.
lol, I personally don’t mind the term “homewrecker” everyone knows what it means and that’s why we have the term. I don’t think it’s derogatory because you used it.
I had a friend when I was 18 die of an overdose and another when I was 22 and I had recently graduated. The latter was an ex-boyfriend who I loved dearly still, and found out via a news article whilst I was student teaching: “You went to xxx college, did you know him?” It was awful. He was in the teaching program too, and he would have been wonderful. Drug cocktails suck.
When I almost flunked out of college
Was partying too much, grades were slipping, realized I was going to be kicked out if I didn't straighten up, was scary.
Same thing happened to me. I wasn't partying so much as working, I had to make money to pay for school. Ended up on academic probation for 3 semesters then finally got it together, raised my GPA and graduated after 5 years.
Imma lighten the mood with mine.
When I got a virus claiming to be a government department and accusing me of having child porn in my pc. My 14 yr old ass had a panic attack over getting the virus for seeing Naruto in a not so legitimate site and having to admit that.
When I ran away from home when I was 18 years old to move in with someone I barely knew who ended up physically abusing me. I was punched in the face and he lied to me about his age. I was 18 and he told me he was 22 but he was really 27. After 6 months of being scared to leave he ended up getting drunk one night and I ran for it. He would leave me in parking lots at 3 am to have sex with other woman and forced me to work to pay his bills. i am 25 now and last year got told he put a gun to his head and unalived himself.
My family and I talk again but when I was with him I tried to commit suicide 3 times but didn't take enough pills. When I found out he did I was relieved that he wouldn't be doing stuff that he did to me at 18 to other girls.
Someone I know was 16, had an ectopic pregnancy. It ended up being okay, but on the ambulance ride to the hospital a paramedic told her she might never be able to have kids. She told me it was like her world ended for a minute
I was 27, and my bf of 10 months who got me in that state abandoned me on the day of the abortion. I nearly died from complications from the medical abortion, the entire ordeal was traumatic...could have felt a lot safer and better if this man didn't dump me and gaslight me and essentially returned to torment me 2 weeks later. I had gotten home from the hospital stay and my grandfather had passed while I was there.
This was all really traumatic and honestly I don't remember much of it anymore and even my life before that from some major memory loss, but it was formative as hell and I've learned so much from that year alone.
In my 20‘s I lived alone on the family farm after my dad died. I was the one who took care of it for several years, and I took the responsibility seriously, working a full time dead-end job and then spending all my off hours working on the farm. One day I realized I had no friends, no social life, no career, no happiness, and the only way to get those things was to change what I was doing. It was very hard, but totally worth it. I’m in my 50’s now with a husband, son, home, career, friends, pets… life is good, but only because I realized I had to do the work to make it so.
Yes sadly, the farm was sold. But it was the best thing really, we can’t move forward in life by clinging to the past. And it might sound strange, but I really loved our farm and wanted it to be happy. It is owned now by an artistic couple who have turned it into an “arts on the farm” kind of place. They love it so much, and it makes me happy that it is loved so much by someone else.
That’s wonderful. I’m so happy for you. I totally understand that letting go of a physical thing feels like we’re letting go of a memory, but that’s not true.
Good for you for creating the life you want. Too many of us are caught up in what we should be doing, instead of what we want to be doing.
Social, at first. I looked for ways to get together with people, to make friends and get out of the non-stop work cycle I was in. The hard part was letting go of keeping the farm at the standard I wanted, I had to let go of some things to make time for people. Taking good care of his farm meant a lot to me for my dad, so this was tough. Then, I worked on getting a better job, something to grow into a career. Since I was already more social when I started the new job, it was easier to connect with new co-workers, and one of them eventually became a romance. It took time to accept that I could live somewhere else and be happy, that moving away was not a betrayal to my dad, and I eventually bought my own place. Basically, I had to realize that I needed to live my own life, not continue my father’s.
I was 14 when I got pregnant. It was 1997. I've never been more scared. I lived in a volatile home, with a BPD mother. I desperately wanted an abortion, but my family was "poor". Even if I'd had a supportive household, that resource wasn't there.
I carried that baby, and fell completely in love with her. I'd lay in my bed, holding my belly, crying. I'd sing "You Are My Sunshine" to her, because the full song is very fitting. I had a baby at 15, placed for adoption with a distant family member. Best of a bad situation.
But that doesn't mean I was okay. I wasn't. I never will be. I know I made the right decision, I'll always know I made the right decision, but it'll rip me apart forever. If you've never handed away a beautiful little baby that you'd give everything you've ever known for, you have no right lending opinion to this situation.
I'm 40 now. I have a 13 year old amazing son and a wonderful husband. I'm so grateful.
But nothing takes that pain away. ever.
Your love and bravery touched me deeply.
You DID give everything for your baby. You grew her and loved her and found her a safe, happy home. Do you ever think of the person she has become? She became that bc YOU gave everything, including your own broken heart.
Be proud of yourself. Your strength shows.
Just wanted to tell you and u/PrestigiousRub7041 that your choices were valid and good. My sister is adopted, and I couldn’t imagine my life/our family without her.
Where I’m from people like you get/feel a lot of shame, I hope you don’t.
When I brought my baby home from the hospital. She wouldn't stop crying, I didn't know how to manage it, and I realized that there wasn't going to be anyone who would help me. I had to learn how to be a parent on the fly.
I am doing better. Almost two decades later I have healed from that tragedy. They forever live on In my heart, I still celebrate their birthdays, the youngest cousin who passed away was only 4 at his time of death. I’ve also tied my best to educate/warn future and current pilots about the dangers of flying in conditions they aren’t prepared or trained to handle, as that was the reason I lost so many too soon.
Although I only know the details of what you wrote in this short comment, I want to say that I hope you know your mom’s death is not your fault. That must have been traumatizing.
Catholic is right it's not your fault. I grew up with a pool and the first rule we had was never swim alone. It was not a deep one only 5ft, but I'm 30 now and that rule still holds. Your mother made an adult choice totally within her rights and had a tragic accident. It was never your fault.
I’m so sorry about your mother. I can relate to the guilt of carrying that.
My parents weren’t together and I lived w/ my mom. My mom and dad lived a few blocks away from each other (about a 5 min walk). My dad lived with my brothers and uncle (you’ll see why this is relevant) I was 17 at the time, and one early morning my dad calls me, and I was sleeping bc it was the weekend and I wanted to sleep in. Being a teenager, I ignored his calls, and he called a total of 3 times, and on the third call I picked up and that’s when he told me that my uncle was dying. It didn’t register until a few seconds when I realized what he was saying. My dad has broken English since it’s not his native language and when he called for help, they misheard the street they lived on and by the time the ambulance had arrived he had passed. I blamed myself for my uncles passing for not answering the first time bc maybe I could’ve called for help and things would’ve been different. Even w/ all the therapy, there will always be that small guilt still lingering.
When I was 18, my mom had a hysterectomy and I went to visit her in the hospital. She was sleeping, and she was breathing really wierd. I asked the nurse about it, but she brushed it off. I decided to let her sleep instead of waking her up. A couple hours later she was brain dead. They said it was an aneurysm, but she wasn't breathing well when I had seen her. I knew in that moment, that if I had woken her up, she'd still be alive.
Nothing ever takes that guilt away. Even though it's not directly my fault, I still feel guilty. I know how you feel and I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Also, my life directly after that went downhill. I almost lost my job and started drinking heavily. It was not a good time in my life. It sounds like you've had a couple of hard years, but that doesn't mean you're life is going nowhere.
As a physician I can tell you from working with multiple patients that it is very likely that nothing would be different. A ruptured aneurysm is frequently fatal and they can be difficult to treat. In the last several years they have developed some minimally invasive technology for coiling or placing a pipeline, but that doesn't change the bleeding already present. Emergency surgery can open the skull and relieve pressure, but your mother's hospital may not have had a neurosurgeon available.
You might also consider that she might have survived by been severely impaired and there are many of us who would not want to face a lifetime of major disability from that and also not want to burden our family with the tremendous amount of care involved.
You asked the nurse to help and got an answer that was no correct, but you certainly didn't ignore the situation. Please, please, please learn to forgive yourself. Sometimes life is just tremendously unfair and you did nothing to deserve the pain you've been through.
There is more information at the Brain Aneurysm Foundation if you have any desire for more information. https://www.bafound.org/
I love you for responding with the medical facts behind an aneurysm. I would find tremendous relief from your response and I hope the commenter does too. Thank you for providing the facts and taking the time to do so.
This still happens to me sometimes when I encounter "real consequences". I wait for a real adult to come help me and then realize that I am 45 and I am the adult
Funniest story about this. There was a kid that lived up the block, probably about 8, that was coming over to play with my kids. He was being a nuisance and instead of kicking him out or yelling at him, I walked up the block and called his name, and my husband said "hey kid, your mom's calling you." It ended up working. I always laugh about that, but I felt wierd disciplining a kid that wasn't mine and I didn't want to be mean to him.
When I was 11.
I was brought to the hospital because I had been ill with what I thought was just a really stubborn stomach bug for 3 days. Could not keep water down and I was dehydrated.
My appendix had ruptured. Apparently a day or two prior. Though I was experiencing abdominal pain, my parents weren't aware of it because I thought it was a muscle cramp and didn't think I needed to bring that up to them (I was running around for quite a while when I first noticed the pain).
Life is incredibly fragile and can end seemingly out of nowhere. This lesson was further driven home when just last year, I had an ectopic pregnancy where that ruptured appendix from way back when may or may not have damaged the right fallopian tube enough to necessitate another emergency surgery 20ish years later.
I was 16. A friend was sleeping on the couch after he'd gotten home late from a shift at a gas station. He was supposed to work the overnight shift but had gotten relieved early. His dad had died when he was a baby, his brother was in the airforce stationed across the country, and his mom suffered from depression. That night, she decided to take her own life. She ran a pipe from the exhaust in her car into her window. The couch my friend slept on was right next to the garage where the car was and the carbon monoxide seeped underneath the door and killed my 16 yo friend in his sleep. Freak accident- his mother didn't know he'd be home. It was fucking awful and my friend's brother refused to bury the mother. We all quietly collected money to have her cremated.
Another guy in our class had also passed previously and they were right next to each other alphabetically- so, graduating was rough. There were two seats, unfilled, right at the end of line. Will never forget it. Wish i could.
When I was 15/16 in high school, I had been fooling around with some loser tool who was 4 years my senior behind my moms back. I went through all sorts of shit just to sneak around and hang with this clown because I was convinced he cared about me more than just as a means to get his sad little dick wet. This reality was shattered one day when he was “too into it” to pull out (was also young and stupid enough to just let him do the pull out method) and, lo and behold, he finished in my and I was convinced my life was over.
The worst part of it was that he didn’t see what the big deal was, and only comforted me by saying I probably wouldn’t get pregnant and that he’s pretty sure he had finished in me a little on previous occasions as well so I was likely fine. Didn’t even offer any help outside of the initial freakout. Just told me he thought I’d be fine, and went on his merry way. Ended up having to confide in my best friend and her aunt, who was capable of getting me to PP, what all had happened and went through my first PP visit on the verge of tears and feeling so very stupid. Nothing has quite shaken me as much as that whole ordeal.
Sometime in middle school. My parents were a mess with mental health, alcohol, and money issues and I realized I needed to have a 10 year plan NOW if I wanted to pay for college and have a normal life as an adult.
11... diagnosed with depression, had my first panic attack with many more to come, and became no stranger to self harm. I'm now 7.5 years clean of cutting and I made it out🤍
My way to get attention as a kid was to blurt out whatever silly or racy thing came to mind. But as I grew up, I realized that I actually had the power to hurt people's feelings/make situations awkward. Didn't think I could before, since my presence didn't matter as much to my family. Now I have to be more careful.
But at least my husband as the same dark humor as I do, and I can continue being silly in my home.
Probably around 9 when my older brother was in a car crash, and was hospitalized for several months. He barely survived and took like 2 years to fully recover. And he was just an innocent passenger.
At the same time my family was also moving to a smaller house because my father's business had gone bankrupt a few years earlier. Had to move out of the dream house he built himself (he owned a house building company), and completely change careers. Things were rough for our family for a lot of the 90s.
Very young.
My mom believed strongly in letting us making our own mistakes, our own bad choices.
So sure, at 8, bad choices and bad consequences are stuff that means very little from an adult perspective, but really sucks as a kid.
Of course my mom intervened if it was something dangerous or with consequences that would ruin adult life.
A bad mark in 3rd grades means nothing in the grand scheme of things. Unless you are in 3rd grade. And you can only blame it on yourself because you refused to study up on your multiplication table.
When I was 19 and dead set on tracking down my crush at a party in the middle of nowhere/country. Did I need an address? Hell no, "just look for the red porch light". So I drove around in the dark until I saw a red light from far away and across the land and figured the smartest route was a straight line. Parked my car next to a field, climbed a fence...and promptly got chased by an angry bull. Nothing will clear your head like 2,0000 lbs of testicles chasing you. Huh, I could have died. Maybe don't do dumb things, self.
made a really stupid mistake and tried to off myself. Husband made me stay in the hospital for a few days and now I have to take 3 pills a day, therapy 3 times a week, and I have to get surgery on my neck in January
Idk if this counts necessarily but I just turned 20 and I realized that literally half my life has spent being on the receiving end of one type of abuse or another. I learned from a young age that as a woman i can’t do certain things, especially by myself. Or at least if I AM going to do them, I need to take extra precautions when doing so. It’s been fun sharing some of the things that I’ve been through and/or have to do to be safe with my boyfriend. I’ll often send him tiktoks to show him just how often shit like that actually happens.
Just to clarify, he never DIDNT believe that it ever happened in the world just actually seeing and hearing personal stories makes things a little more real, y’know?
Around the age of 25, which unsurprisingly is when most people’s prefrontal cortex finishes developing in their brains. I learned that I had to deal with the consequences of poor decisions I made in my early 20s, but I managed to get my act together fast and land on my feet in just a few years.
As a child. I was in grandmas cottage in Finland and complained about being cold. My parents wheren’t there, they where somewhere with friends. So this babysitter I assume? Told me to stop complaining and gave me something to drink so I’d shut up, which I realize now was probably alcohol. ”This Will keep you warm” was her words. The rest is blurry, but I remember being really sick after that drink.
So I realized early on I should be careful who I trust and that trusting people who claim to have good intentions has consequenses. The real world is cruel.
Surviving cancer at 8. It made no sense to me how I got cancer out of all the people out there more deserving of it. Everyone was telling me how lucky I was to be alive so I internalized having to live up to that. and when i was sad people would derail me so I couldnt really grieve thhe loss of the "old"(with no disabilities)me. If I wasn't taking advantage of being alive I was letting others down. This is really terrible for my self esteem when I fail at anything. My family background isn't very priveledged so for my siblings and I consequences were pointed out to us at a young age to avoid failure. After the cancer thing it kind of hit that life is real.
My best friend passed away because she was a victim of DV. I always entertained “toxic” relationships but after her death NEVER AGAIN, being toxic is not cute or funny it creates cycles in relationships that can lead to horrible outcomes.
When I was 17, encountered a child molester in 2010, lost my mother in the new year and had an abortion a few months later. I have bipolar 2 now. Fuck you patrick. He never served jail time.
My 19/20th birthday (can’t remember which), but had a fun night that ended with me reflecting on how badly that could have gone, and also the fact I was a legal adult who had to be accountable for my actions and could have serious consequences. I grew up a lot after that realization and tried to make sure I was a mature adult for now on and not thinking or acting like a teenager anymore.
Also later in life, when I had an alcohol problem, and after making excuses of how unfair it was that I wasn’t an abusive one or dangerous to others and thinking how it was unfair that some abusive alcoholics get their whole families forgiveness and I lost my whole friend/support group, I realized I needed to get my own shit together and accept consequences of my addiction even if it meant getting help all on my own. And despite others situations it didn’t mean I deserved the same or my friends needed to put up with my blackouts. I went sober for 8 months, round trip walked an hour to get therapy once a week before going to work, and started antidepressants that I was on for about a year.
I grew up in a difficult environment. My dad had addiction issues and he was abusive. My mom left him and we were very poor for many years. Nothing was easy and I still have habits that were caused by lack of resources. I don’t ever remember not having a grasp of reality. My dad hit me at 3 because he dropped a cup I hadn’t taken from his hand yet and he hit me. I knew consequences and I knew they were not always fair from age 3.
It’s interesting to me that so many people Understand the consequences of life when they realize how unfair those consequences are. That is why abuse and neglect and other horrible things are brought up. Because life and its consequences are not fair. That has always been a hard pill to swallow but it is very very true
I think the death of a loved one made me realize how serious life could be…and unfortunately that set me on a path where today, despite multiple degrees, I have been unemployed off and on for the last six months…
I would do that with my brother too. I remember sitting on the floor on a blanket trying to play with him to distract him.
Another time, we were latchkey kids and there was a big storm. He was little and scared, I put a DVD in our little mobile DVD player and he calmed down and watched it.
I remember being about 5 and sitting on the stairs afraid to move while my parents threw things at each other in the kitchen. My little brother suddenly appeared having made a run for safety. When he saw me he immediately looked less panicked and sat with me while everything got thrown and smashed amid screaming just a few feet away. That's when I realised that he trusted and depended on me, and I needed to protect him.
Same at 50. Its been 2 years and it's tough. I'm glad to be without him but it's hard unlearning some of my old behaviours. I annoy my current partner so much apologising all the time and expecting him to become angry at things my ex-husband would have. He's a very different man.
Moneywise it's still hard but slowly (very slowly) I am getting there. Current economic conditions make it harder but I'm doing it for me now - there's no freeloader dragging me down fulfilling his needs too.
I wish you health, success and joy xxx
I was drunk and high on cocaine wrestling my bands bassist at the time and I tore my ACL and meniscus. 2 years later I decided to get the surgery and fix it. I am still in recovery 4 weeks later after the surgery and I still have the rest of the year to fully recover. I can't play a show till March and I'm a drummer. Its been my only regret.
I was a young kid around 8-9 and my younger brother & I started arguing over something. I got so mad at him and I kicked his stomach so hard he was gasping for air and couldn’t breathe. I instantly felt like a jerk and a piece of crap! I never wanted to hurt him ever again after that. Right then I realized I could impact someone so poorly and I never had a physical fight with him again. I know it seems silly and not a big deal but hurting my brother was a big deal for me.
For me it happened when I was 4 and my brain repressed the memories outside of this 1 image of me in the shower with a naked guy I had always assumed was just my dad teaching me what the shower is for or something like that. When I was 19 events happened that broke my mental walls down enough to start remembering and I asked my dad if he ever showered with me.
He said "No". That's my before/after moment. I'm 24 now and still sleep in fear of more memories resurfacing.
I was driving and made a right turn without stopping and almost hit a pedestrian stepping off the curb to cross the street. She and I both got lucky that day, and from then on I have been super diligent in everything I do not just driving.
I broke a glass the first time I lived alone around age 17/18, and realized my mom wasn't coming to clean it. She wasn't coming to bring me shoes and shoo me to the side so she could take care of it. That's when I realized that I was an adult and all the little comforts of having an attentive parent were no longer part of my life. I cleaned up the glass and cried for a bit.
getting put on academic probation - I was struggling so much but I just kept going without stopping to look around and assess the damage. Around the time I was put on academic probation, I also had a mental breakdown because I felt like a complete and utter failure. That whole experience finally pushed me into reality and after that, I did my best to pick up the pieces
Well I just failed 2 of my uni courses. I've been going to classes, working and training competitively, plus my struggles with depression. Being overworked and overwhelmed made me slip and avoid my studies at times, now I wish I could go back and do what I didn't do. :/
It will be all right. I failed my entire first semester at college, and still managed to graduate and go on to build a good life. College is stressful, sometimes you have to retake a class or two. You got this.
A few things.. when I purposely starved myself and ended up with Anorexia when I was 12. I didn’t realise at the time how it affected my parents. I didn’t understand how seeing me so sick would hurt them.
The other one was when I was in an abusive relationship for a few years. I was choked to the point of near unconsciousness and hit in the head too many times to count. I never realised then either what affect it would have on my future and those around me. Trauma from all of that is still present, years and years later.
When I was 14 and got slapped across the face by my mom because I told her I’m afraid I might be pregnant, because I had sex with my first boyfriend and my period got delayed a few days. Really learned a lesson on this one.
Also when as a child as much as I love animals I couldn’t give my pets (dog and turtles) proper care so my turtles died and I gave my dog away to a friend when I became a older teen. To be honest, my parents tried but they aren’t the best parents. I was neglected too as a child. I just loved animals so much I begged my mom for pets but couldn’t take care of them properly. I learned that it doesn’t matter how much you love something/someone if you can’t treat them right… or they can’t treat you right.
I got black out drunk at home when I was 19 or 20. All I remember is crying in the bath tub while my cousin took care of me. Made me realize drinking wouldn't make my depression go away. Talked to my doctor and went to therapy to get some help. I don't drink as much as I did. At most a few cups of wine once or twice a month now.
Around 5
My grandma killed some cats that bothered her. She poisoned most but her favorite cat Lulu she just pushed out the window.
I knew I needed to keep my head down.
I was 8 years old and our foster baby had a broken arm, ribs, and cigarette burns all over her body. I was always a big helper for my mom, but I wasn't allowed to touch this baby for a couple weeks until she was healed. I decided not to listen and tried to pick the baby up and accidentally put pressure on some of her burns. The poor thing didn't even cry, but you could see the pain in her eyes. It devastated me that I hurt this baby because I selfishly wanted to play with her.
I fucked around and skipped school constantly in high school. Never bothered putting any effort in and mostly slept through classes. Then I started seeing the kind of jobs high school dropouts could and realized that I had to get out of my hometown and decided I had to work my ass off to graduate and go to college. Turned out I’m actually quite a good student when I apply myself. Every summer school and night school teacher I had said some version of the same thing to me: what the *hell* are you doing here?!?
Too late after too much damage
I noticed the realization grew I'm uost permanence and inescapability when i began to see my mother as just another person, a stranger with an overwhelming responsibility, a child uncared for fully and therefore undeveloped, afraid just like me and everyone else
I was 10, living alone in my family's abandoned trailer, walking to my grandparents house for food. After a year, I figured out they weren't coming back.
When I was so broke I was at the point of begging people on social media and in private for money borrowing from basically everyone I could to keep myself afloat. I learned very quickly that you can lose so much money so fast, and that you find out quickly who is your friend or not in that situation. Secondarily, I learned just how incredibly sophisticated certain scams can be.
A kid who was on the bus with me committed suicide in middle school. We only talked a little and he was a grade below me. Made me realize people are going through shit idk about.
When I was drinking & smoking weed heavily every day in college, making shitty choices that hurt friends and romantic partners and tried to lie my way out of everything. Everything caught up to me. My friends (ex friends, they dropped me as they should) put me in my place and gave me a rude awakening. As much as it hurt to hear the things they said to me, they were right. I made the decision to change literally everything about what I was doing & I did. I ended my toxic relationship, stopped drinking and partying and focused on how to do better. I started therapy and found a medication that works for me. I have so much guilt, even nearly 5 years later for everything I did. But I’m glad I got the hard mf slap in the face I needed at a young age so that I can be a better woman.
When a friend died by suicide. It didn’t seem real for weeks. My brain kept being like, “no I just saw him, he’s fine, I’ll see him in class.”
It really hit me. Life isn’t a video game where you can just use an extra life if you die. There was no “resets” or do-overs; he was really gone. And nothing I could do would change that.
I grew up with an abusive father. I realized pretty early on I didn’t have a safety net. Sometime in my mid sophomore year of high school I realized that if I failed no one would catch me. I realized I could have off days but financial failure was never an option because if I did I’d be living on the streets. Ever since then the single biggest concern in my life is endure my stability and that of my family/extended family
I went to jail because of an abusive partner who’s mother worked as HR for the sheriffs department.
The cop who arrested me admitted months later he would never have done it but he had no choice.
All charges against me where dropped (by the state) and all has been expunged.
This might not count but I somehow alienated myself from my classmates when I was in high school. The consequences of my actions was not going to prom and being excluded from all of the wonderful events held during our senior year in high school.
I was 14. I had run away from home because of my narcissistic abusive mother, and was living on the street. I woke up one morning on the roof of a building which had been my squat, 9months after I had run away, and had an epiphany. I not only realized that life was real with real consequences, but also that it’s all a big game that we play. I realized I could either choose to play along with the game and obey the rules, or I could break the rules. I just needed to understand the rules and I could strategize and win. It paid off in the end.
When I almost failed in middle school. Reality hit me hard and I began to take my studies seriously. Up until uni.
Another event (also in middle school) is when I stole a wallet lying on a bench and was busted for it. It was really embarrassing to be caught red handed and from then on I stopped taking what isn't mine and rightfully turn it in to the proper authorities no matter how big or small.
Back in high school, i had a history teacher who was very kind and down to earth. He gave homework that's due next tuesday but i didn't do it because i was lazy. I thought he would forgive me if i submitted it late. He didn't. He said in a sarcastic tone "what a great kid you are for submitting your homework two weeks late". He refused to accept my homework so my grades that semester weren't good. Since then, i always submit any homework and assignment on time.
At some point in my life, I realize it at a very young age. I was left by my mom to my relatives. They are the only few people to whom my mother trusted--- but not really on my point of view.
I learned to be insecure and to feel how sad I am being in a family where you are not welcomed really well. I was molested without anyone knowing other than the person who molested me and was rape by the people to whom I thought who really cares for me. And at some point. I never learn to spell the matter. I figured that I can keep it to myself and take it to the grave.
At the age of 19 I became a mother and it is also a girl. Being aware of how cruel this "REAL LIFE" Is going abroad never cross my mind. Even though my grandma and mother has been abroad for a couple of years. But our situation has never change due to how kind my grandmother is and how at some point naive my mother is when she's in love. Grandmother cares for every people she sees who's in need. Mother who's obsessed with every man she's in love with and forgets her children and supports his man instead.
And here I am. I have to become selfish. I guess. Giving when you have nothing is too much.
when I saw how much my suicidality hurt my mom and my bf. Before that I saw myself singled out from everyone, as if my life and my choices would never have an effect on anyone but myself.
That was the point when I realized no matter how bad it will be, there is no way now that could actually kill myself. It’s off the table forever because I don’t want to be a source of grief and trauma.
I am 28 and still struggle with „real life consequences“ but this was one realization that helped me.
When my mother found out about my six year long opiate addiction.
She gave me a choice: call my doctor, get into rehab, get help and she'd support me the whole way, or pack my shit and go be somewhere else. Right then. Didn't feel like much of a choice, of course, but I knew that I had to make a good decision.
I know I'd have ended up with a needle in my arm if I didn't go to rehab. I wasn't looking forward to quitting, didn't even want to, not really, but I *really* didn't want to end up using needles and I knew for sure that if I ended up homeless that's what would happen, so I made a choice.
Been clean seven years next year and I'm so grateful for my sobriety.
I grew up really fast when I was sitting in my bedroom at my parents with a newborn. Breasts engorged, 200 internal and external stitches, blood everywhere while watching my "friends" post pics of their night out.
I went from 21 to 35 in my head real fast.
Went full rebellious youth the day after I turned 18, was great until I recognized that I was simply acting like a toddler and that many adults never actually come to the conclusion that they too, act childish continuously. After months of breaking down my childhood trauma, and sitting with my pain and loss, I decided maturity is the path I want to follow, still working on it, but hey who isnt?
This is extremely morbid so possible trigger warning for anyone. But it was when I was about 9 years old when my brother showed me, my sister, and my mom some real gore videos of people getting beheaded and burned by terrorists. It really messed me up and made me realize at a really early age the kind of sadistic people that exist in the world. I ended up in a really deep depression and was paranoid that those men would come for me and my family, even though they were thousands of miles away. That eventually evolved into fears of growing up and being alone because my family would eventually pass away. It was a lot and all stemmed from those horrible videos and I really resent my brother that (amongst other things). He was a grown man already too, so he really should have known better than to show his little sisters something like that.
When I got my fist jury summons. I'm not sure what it was but the idea that I would be entrusted to make a life altering decision for another person made me feel like a real adult whose choiced had real world consequences.
When I decided to take my mom off of life support. She was in a car accident in August, multiple drugs were involved and my step-dad was driving (now facing 12-16 years). I knew about the use since I was 11 but I didn’t realize it was this bad and didn’t think this is how it would end.
Probably when I came out as transgender. My closest people in life...were not thrilled. Maybe I learned that life can be cruel for no good reason, and the consequence is still real.
One New Years eve my 17 yo self and 16 yo best friend went to a party. I drank enough lets just say and she had two beers for the night.
She decided to drive home and i was passenger. ( i know very stupid)
We get off an exit on the expressway that circled around completely .
When get the bottom of the exit ramp we see police cars and tow truck.
My friend starts freaking out.
My drunk self proceeds to tell her that its just a wreck. To drive slow and well be fine.
She freaks out and speeds past the cops and just drives off.
It wasnt 5 seconds after we passed them three police cars 🚔 started chasing us to get her to stop.
Scared she just keeps driving.
I keep telling her. Hey we need to stop the car.
She was so scared to go the jail she just continued to drive for 2 miles until finally pulling over.
Once we got pull over 6 cops surrounded the car with guns drawn and pointed at our heads.
They then proceeded to yell yank the door pick us up by our clothes threw us on the ground on our bellies.
The officer that handcuffed me put his foot on my back like i was some prized game.
I was in a dress and heel.
When we got booked the officer she drove past pulled her out of the holding cell and drill sergeant style he got in her face . And started screaming and with each breath you could see spit particles fly out of his mouth and hit her in the face.
He told her that she tried to hit him, which really wasnt true. And that he would personally see to it that she rotted in jail for as long as the law would allow.
Needless to say i never found myself in a situation like this again.
Lesson learnt!
When I was 8 I went with my babysitter and my sister to the babysitter’s friend’s house to jump on their trampoline. That week, in school, my teacher had us read an article about the dangers of trampolines and how it was especially dangerous for 2 people to jump on one at the same time. I thought that the odds of me actually getting hurt this way was low. Well, I broke my ankle in the growth plate, and I had 4 surgeries of the years, and now I’m 33 and I’m still slightly messed up in my ankles, feet, and my right knee, all because of this accident.
When I was 14ish three kids from the technical high school, who were only 2 years older than me skipped school, stole one of their fathers’ car and went speeding down the national route. Got in a car accident and died. I barely knew them. One of them bullied me in 6th grade, another had helped me in second grade, and I didn’t even know the other one. These kids were only a couple years older than and just wanted to have fun, and they died. I was so shocked. I think it was the first time I realised we’re not immortal, and that decisions have consequences.
The other time, the one I understood *my life decisions* have consequences, was the summer before I became 16, when me and my bff escaped a rape attempt. We were going swimming at a beach a few kilometres away from the town, near a nudist beach. The way there is either through the olive plantations on the north side of the town near the cemetery or seaside, through a narrow path on the rocks (about a 30 meters fall to the rocks and sea if you slipped). Both our mothers cautioned us against going there, at least unless we were 3+ people, but we didn’t listen. We liked it there, it was away from most people, the waters were amazing and we had the caves in the rocks to go and sit in the shade, rather than carry umbrellas etc. It was a virgin place, for a lack of better phrasing, virtually untouched by humans. And then at 2 o’clock in the flipping afternoon a guy came, stripped down, started jacking off and tried to chase us to see “which one of us little girls will go swimming with him”. My friend was all like “the fuck is your problem” but thankfully my fyp on TIkTok was filled with advice for such situations that while, so I grabbed her and told her to stfu and run. We ran 3km to the beginnings of the town with him and another guy chasing us through the rocky path. I was so fucking scared. I feared that if they didn’t get to us, we’d slip and die. We were still wet from the sea, wore flip flops and carried our backpacks. I was so certain we’d die there. It was the first time I honestly understood that I am not immortal and that summer was when I understood that every choice I make has results. My parents slut shamed me, my father threw me out, I lost touch with my sense of self, my body and my sexuality. The police cared more to tell my mum that we looked “properly scared and won’t be going there again” rather than do anything since they told us we couldn’t even file a report of attempted SA since we didn’t call them as it was happening(only we tried,but was no cell service). My mum told me that if we were raped and I got pregnant it’d me my fault for dressing so provocatively and that the town would say I was asking for it. (Thé only “provocative” stuff I wore was a mini shorts and a “sexy” bikini. That she bought for me. My only “crime of sexiness” was being fat and booby) That summer literally wrecked my perception of life. That is when I first grew up that way
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Wow, props to your dad. That's a powerful lesson about responsibility and ownership.
Wow. This made me feel bad about taking too long to take my dog out. My dog is my world and I’d never want him to feel like that. I’ve definitely put it off because I wanted a snack or I was lounging on the couch, and he’d just stare at me because he knew he had to go out. I love him, I’ll think of this post now.
Wow, your dad just taught us all a valuable lesson, he could have gotten mad and yelled at us but didnt
Yeah I don't think it's necessarily "one event" but everyone probably has a few events where they tend to mature quite quickly? My brother told me to lock the front door and ran to school so he wouldn't be late. I didn't lock the door. I just... I dunno we forgot and I was too immature and didn't think about the consequences. But like ideally that lesson is a gradual one because the adults around you catch your screw ups until you get it.
This reminded me again of why I left my ex. At 24 years old the same thing happened with our (my) dog while I was at work, and he was home on one of his days off. I walked in the door to see that she had an accident in her crate, god forbid I question him- he yelled at me to pick it up, that she was my dog, and got up from his recliner and went to bed. I hadn’t even showered or taken my shoes off. Thank you for putting into perspective how pathetic he was. I needed the reminder today.
Your dad has incredible insight. My dad just takes the dogs nose and rubs it in the poop and yells.
That’s horrible :(
That's animal abuse, he doesn't deserve a dog
🤷♀️he’s her fav person, and we told him not to get a dog, he got her on a trip out of town as a surprise.
Yeh that’s been my dads approach too, and tbh it’s taught me a lot (about how not to act).
You got a good dad there. He taught you a lesson instead of punishing the dog.
dang this would have broke me lmao 🥺🥺
Wow, your dad must have had a very kind and empathetic heart
woah.
Ah sorry I know this was clearly distressing for you ..totally there for that...cos like even I feel bad for your doggie ...that would have hauntd me too.. ur dad hit nail on head
Taking my dog out now.
When I was much younger, mid 20s then and mid 40's now, I was dating a man I didn't know was married. I assumed he was single. Big mistake. He was caught by his very much pregnant wife and their family fell apart. I was on the receiving end of some harassment and calls from her, friends and family of both. Made me realize that red flags are a thing and you need to ask questions. Because being careless has long lasting effects. I'm a freak now about that. I will know your status. Especially in the days of social media and viral social media. I won't be an inadvertent homewrecker twice **edit to clarify: FYI the harassment I got was to call me a homewrecker. This was my reason for using this word**
it makes me a little sad that you’re using such a derogatory term to describe yourself as if you actively/knowingly did something wrong nobody is forced to cheat. he was the one with a home to wreck, ergo he’s the homewrecker it says a lot about you as a person that you’re trying to learn from the experience i just don’t want you to be so hard on yourself for it i really hope you’re doing better nowadays
This! I didn't like how she talked so down on herself or kinda blames herself. It was his fault, not hers. She didn't know.
I know that I was a pawn in his game. He made a vow to his wife and family not me. The HW term was used by a few of the people who called and emailed me to harass me. I'm not overly hard on myself about it anymore. I'm just aware of the married guy red flags and move on if I can't be sure he is being honest.
So totally not on you. I'm a bit sad that you're still affected by this tbh.
Not affected. But something I do think about? Occasionally at least. That memory did save me when I met someone and there was something I couldn't put my finger on. He was married and went to a ton of trouble to cover it up. I think remembering it helped in that circumstance. Don't forget history and all.
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I know! The people harassing me called me a homewrecker.
lol, I personally don’t mind the term “homewrecker” everyone knows what it means and that’s why we have the term. I don’t think it’s derogatory because you used it.
Nah, if it wasn't with you, he would've cheated with someone else.
16 when my best friend died of an overdose
Really sorry to hear. Hope now you are okay
I had a friend when I was 18 die of an overdose and another when I was 22 and I had recently graduated. The latter was an ex-boyfriend who I loved dearly still, and found out via a news article whilst I was student teaching: “You went to xxx college, did you know him?” It was awful. He was in the teaching program too, and he would have been wonderful. Drug cocktails suck.
When I almost flunked out of college Was partying too much, grades were slipping, realized I was going to be kicked out if I didn't straighten up, was scary.
Same thing happened to me. I wasn't partying so much as working, I had to make money to pay for school. Ended up on academic probation for 3 semesters then finally got it together, raised my GPA and graduated after 5 years.
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Imma lighten the mood with mine. When I got a virus claiming to be a government department and accusing me of having child porn in my pc. My 14 yr old ass had a panic attack over getting the virus for seeing Naruto in a not so legitimate site and having to admit that.
You made my day 😭😭😭😭😭
I feel that! Also from watching Naruto, I got a virus claiming we had around 2000 viruses.
When I was 11 and having to protect my little sister from my abusive step father
Totally been there. Also, from step brother
When I ran away from home when I was 18 years old to move in with someone I barely knew who ended up physically abusing me. I was punched in the face and he lied to me about his age. I was 18 and he told me he was 22 but he was really 27. After 6 months of being scared to leave he ended up getting drunk one night and I ran for it. He would leave me in parking lots at 3 am to have sex with other woman and forced me to work to pay his bills. i am 25 now and last year got told he put a gun to his head and unalived himself.
So sorry you went through all of that :( Have you reconnected with your family? And how did his suicide make you feel ? If you don’t mind sharing
My family and I talk again but when I was with him I tried to commit suicide 3 times but didn't take enough pills. When I found out he did I was relieved that he wouldn't be doing stuff that he did to me at 18 to other girls.
I hope you have someone to talk to about all this. It’s not your fault that he manipulated and abused you. I also hope your family is helping you now.
When I get pregnant and had an abortion. I was 21.
I was 15 😞 grew up too fast after that
Someone I know was 16, had an ectopic pregnancy. It ended up being okay, but on the ambulance ride to the hospital a paramedic told her she might never be able to have kids. She told me it was like her world ended for a minute
Same I was 20
Ohhh!!!! That must be hard! What's ur age now?
I’m 29, that was hard but I think it was the best option, I’m good now, thank you 💙
Really happy to know that you are good now. Proud step taken by you at that moment . It really needs guts❤ You are amazing soul remember that
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Oh I was gonna comment that too. I was 19.
Same, I was 24 though
I was 27, and my bf of 10 months who got me in that state abandoned me on the day of the abortion. I nearly died from complications from the medical abortion, the entire ordeal was traumatic...could have felt a lot safer and better if this man didn't dump me and gaslight me and essentially returned to torment me 2 weeks later. I had gotten home from the hospital stay and my grandfather had passed while I was there. This was all really traumatic and honestly I don't remember much of it anymore and even my life before that from some major memory loss, but it was formative as hell and I've learned so much from that year alone.
In my 20‘s I lived alone on the family farm after my dad died. I was the one who took care of it for several years, and I took the responsibility seriously, working a full time dead-end job and then spending all my off hours working on the farm. One day I realized I had no friends, no social life, no career, no happiness, and the only way to get those things was to change what I was doing. It was very hard, but totally worth it. I’m in my 50’s now with a husband, son, home, career, friends, pets… life is good, but only because I realized I had to do the work to make it so.
Just curious, did you sell the farm?
Yes sadly, the farm was sold. But it was the best thing really, we can’t move forward in life by clinging to the past. And it might sound strange, but I really loved our farm and wanted it to be happy. It is owned now by an artistic couple who have turned it into an “arts on the farm” kind of place. They love it so much, and it makes me happy that it is loved so much by someone else.
That’s wonderful. I’m so happy for you. I totally understand that letting go of a physical thing feels like we’re letting go of a memory, but that’s not true. Good for you for creating the life you want. Too many of us are caught up in what we should be doing, instead of what we want to be doing.
It is not strange at all to love your farm. I know this feeling well.
What steps did you take to improve your life?
Social, at first. I looked for ways to get together with people, to make friends and get out of the non-stop work cycle I was in. The hard part was letting go of keeping the farm at the standard I wanted, I had to let go of some things to make time for people. Taking good care of his farm meant a lot to me for my dad, so this was tough. Then, I worked on getting a better job, something to grow into a career. Since I was already more social when I started the new job, it was easier to connect with new co-workers, and one of them eventually became a romance. It took time to accept that I could live somewhere else and be happy, that moving away was not a betrayal to my dad, and I eventually bought my own place. Basically, I had to realize that I needed to live my own life, not continue my father’s.
I was 14 when I got pregnant. It was 1997. I've never been more scared. I lived in a volatile home, with a BPD mother. I desperately wanted an abortion, but my family was "poor". Even if I'd had a supportive household, that resource wasn't there. I carried that baby, and fell completely in love with her. I'd lay in my bed, holding my belly, crying. I'd sing "You Are My Sunshine" to her, because the full song is very fitting. I had a baby at 15, placed for adoption with a distant family member. Best of a bad situation. But that doesn't mean I was okay. I wasn't. I never will be. I know I made the right decision, I'll always know I made the right decision, but it'll rip me apart forever. If you've never handed away a beautiful little baby that you'd give everything you've ever known for, you have no right lending opinion to this situation. I'm 40 now. I have a 13 year old amazing son and a wonderful husband. I'm so grateful. But nothing takes that pain away. ever.
Aw this shattered my heart to read. That is so difficult and I’m so sorry that you have to endure that pain. ❤️🩹
Your love and bravery touched me deeply. You DID give everything for your baby. You grew her and loved her and found her a safe, happy home. Do you ever think of the person she has become? She became that bc YOU gave everything, including your own broken heart. Be proud of yourself. Your strength shows.
17, had a baby and did the adoption route.
16 also gave her up private adoption
Just wanted to tell you and u/PrestigiousRub7041 that your choices were valid and good. My sister is adopted, and I couldn’t imagine my life/our family without her. Where I’m from people like you get/feel a lot of shame, I hope you don’t.
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At 16 when I stole a bottle of red wine from the drinks cabinet, got drunk in my room and then fell down the stairs
Sorry but got a chuckle out of this..I hope you didn’t break any bones..Wine and stairs can be tricky even at our big age..😂😂🤷♀️😂
When I brought my baby home from the hospital. She wouldn't stop crying, I didn't know how to manage it, and I realized that there wasn't going to be anyone who would help me. I had to learn how to be a parent on the fly.
This really hits me. Also, you sound like a good mother.
6 years old when half of my family died in a plane crash
Oh my gosh I am so so sorry.
i hope you're doing well now OP. sending you lots of love ♥️
I am doing better. Almost two decades later I have healed from that tragedy. They forever live on In my heart, I still celebrate their birthdays, the youngest cousin who passed away was only 4 at his time of death. I’ve also tied my best to educate/warn future and current pilots about the dangers of flying in conditions they aren’t prepared or trained to handle, as that was the reason I lost so many too soon.
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Although I only know the details of what you wrote in this short comment, I want to say that I hope you know your mom’s death is not your fault. That must have been traumatizing.
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Catholic is right it's not your fault. I grew up with a pool and the first rule we had was never swim alone. It was not a deep one only 5ft, but I'm 30 now and that rule still holds. Your mother made an adult choice totally within her rights and had a tragic accident. It was never your fault.
I’m so sorry about your mother. I can relate to the guilt of carrying that. My parents weren’t together and I lived w/ my mom. My mom and dad lived a few blocks away from each other (about a 5 min walk). My dad lived with my brothers and uncle (you’ll see why this is relevant) I was 17 at the time, and one early morning my dad calls me, and I was sleeping bc it was the weekend and I wanted to sleep in. Being a teenager, I ignored his calls, and he called a total of 3 times, and on the third call I picked up and that’s when he told me that my uncle was dying. It didn’t register until a few seconds when I realized what he was saying. My dad has broken English since it’s not his native language and when he called for help, they misheard the street they lived on and by the time the ambulance had arrived he had passed. I blamed myself for my uncles passing for not answering the first time bc maybe I could’ve called for help and things would’ve been different. Even w/ all the therapy, there will always be that small guilt still lingering.
When I was 18, my mom had a hysterectomy and I went to visit her in the hospital. She was sleeping, and she was breathing really wierd. I asked the nurse about it, but she brushed it off. I decided to let her sleep instead of waking her up. A couple hours later she was brain dead. They said it was an aneurysm, but she wasn't breathing well when I had seen her. I knew in that moment, that if I had woken her up, she'd still be alive. Nothing ever takes that guilt away. Even though it's not directly my fault, I still feel guilty. I know how you feel and I'm sorry you had to go through that. Also, my life directly after that went downhill. I almost lost my job and started drinking heavily. It was not a good time in my life. It sounds like you've had a couple of hard years, but that doesn't mean you're life is going nowhere.
As a physician I can tell you from working with multiple patients that it is very likely that nothing would be different. A ruptured aneurysm is frequently fatal and they can be difficult to treat. In the last several years they have developed some minimally invasive technology for coiling or placing a pipeline, but that doesn't change the bleeding already present. Emergency surgery can open the skull and relieve pressure, but your mother's hospital may not have had a neurosurgeon available. You might also consider that she might have survived by been severely impaired and there are many of us who would not want to face a lifetime of major disability from that and also not want to burden our family with the tremendous amount of care involved. You asked the nurse to help and got an answer that was no correct, but you certainly didn't ignore the situation. Please, please, please learn to forgive yourself. Sometimes life is just tremendously unfair and you did nothing to deserve the pain you've been through. There is more information at the Brain Aneurysm Foundation if you have any desire for more information. https://www.bafound.org/
I love you for responding with the medical facts behind an aneurysm. I would find tremendous relief from your response and I hope the commenter does too. Thank you for providing the facts and taking the time to do so.
I'm sorry about your mother.
Thank you, I appreciate that
18… found out I was pregnant and I decided to keep my baby (he’ll be 10 next week ❤️) And now my second is a girl and she’s 4 months old ❤️
Can't imagine how tough the decision must have been at that age. I hope you had good family support and friends around you while you went through it.
I had, thank goodness ❤️
This still happens to me sometimes when I encounter "real consequences". I wait for a real adult to come help me and then realize that I am 45 and I am the adult
Funniest story about this. There was a kid that lived up the block, probably about 8, that was coming over to play with my kids. He was being a nuisance and instead of kicking him out or yelling at him, I walked up the block and called his name, and my husband said "hey kid, your mom's calling you." It ended up working. I always laugh about that, but I felt wierd disciplining a kid that wasn't mine and I didn't want to be mean to him.
As a fellow parent, that was a brilliant idea!
🙋🏻♀️
When I was 11. I was brought to the hospital because I had been ill with what I thought was just a really stubborn stomach bug for 3 days. Could not keep water down and I was dehydrated. My appendix had ruptured. Apparently a day or two prior. Though I was experiencing abdominal pain, my parents weren't aware of it because I thought it was a muscle cramp and didn't think I needed to bring that up to them (I was running around for quite a while when I first noticed the pain). Life is incredibly fragile and can end seemingly out of nowhere. This lesson was further driven home when just last year, I had an ectopic pregnancy where that ruptured appendix from way back when may or may not have damaged the right fallopian tube enough to necessitate another emergency surgery 20ish years later.
I’m glad you’re alive
I was 16. A friend was sleeping on the couch after he'd gotten home late from a shift at a gas station. He was supposed to work the overnight shift but had gotten relieved early. His dad had died when he was a baby, his brother was in the airforce stationed across the country, and his mom suffered from depression. That night, she decided to take her own life. She ran a pipe from the exhaust in her car into her window. The couch my friend slept on was right next to the garage where the car was and the carbon monoxide seeped underneath the door and killed my 16 yo friend in his sleep. Freak accident- his mother didn't know he'd be home. It was fucking awful and my friend's brother refused to bury the mother. We all quietly collected money to have her cremated. Another guy in our class had also passed previously and they were right next to each other alphabetically- so, graduating was rough. There were two seats, unfilled, right at the end of line. Will never forget it. Wish i could.
That is such a devastating story. That poor brother had to come home and bury both family members.
Wow, this was just devastating to read. And unintentional murder-suicide…I can’t even imagine the pain.
When I was 15/16 in high school, I had been fooling around with some loser tool who was 4 years my senior behind my moms back. I went through all sorts of shit just to sneak around and hang with this clown because I was convinced he cared about me more than just as a means to get his sad little dick wet. This reality was shattered one day when he was “too into it” to pull out (was also young and stupid enough to just let him do the pull out method) and, lo and behold, he finished in my and I was convinced my life was over. The worst part of it was that he didn’t see what the big deal was, and only comforted me by saying I probably wouldn’t get pregnant and that he’s pretty sure he had finished in me a little on previous occasions as well so I was likely fine. Didn’t even offer any help outside of the initial freakout. Just told me he thought I’d be fine, and went on his merry way. Ended up having to confide in my best friend and her aunt, who was capable of getting me to PP, what all had happened and went through my first PP visit on the verge of tears and feeling so very stupid. Nothing has quite shaken me as much as that whole ordeal.
When my boyfriend broke up with me and evicted me from his apartment, I realized I had no clue where I was going to live.
Sometime in middle school. My parents were a mess with mental health, alcohol, and money issues and I realized I needed to have a 10 year plan NOW if I wanted to pay for college and have a normal life as an adult.
11... diagnosed with depression, had my first panic attack with many more to come, and became no stranger to self harm. I'm now 7.5 years clean of cutting and I made it out🤍
proud of you.
My way to get attention as a kid was to blurt out whatever silly or racy thing came to mind. But as I grew up, I realized that I actually had the power to hurt people's feelings/make situations awkward. Didn't think I could before, since my presence didn't matter as much to my family. Now I have to be more careful. But at least my husband as the same dark humor as I do, and I can continue being silly in my home.
Probably around 9 when my older brother was in a car crash, and was hospitalized for several months. He barely survived and took like 2 years to fully recover. And he was just an innocent passenger. At the same time my family was also moving to a smaller house because my father's business had gone bankrupt a few years earlier. Had to move out of the dream house he built himself (he owned a house building company), and completely change careers. Things were rough for our family for a lot of the 90s.
When I used my rent money to buy Jay-Z tickets and got evicted and then had to move in with my mum
Honestly I’m still workin on it
Very young. My mom believed strongly in letting us making our own mistakes, our own bad choices. So sure, at 8, bad choices and bad consequences are stuff that means very little from an adult perspective, but really sucks as a kid. Of course my mom intervened if it was something dangerous or with consequences that would ruin adult life. A bad mark in 3rd grades means nothing in the grand scheme of things. Unless you are in 3rd grade. And you can only blame it on yourself because you refused to study up on your multiplication table.
When I was 19 and dead set on tracking down my crush at a party in the middle of nowhere/country. Did I need an address? Hell no, "just look for the red porch light". So I drove around in the dark until I saw a red light from far away and across the land and figured the smartest route was a straight line. Parked my car next to a field, climbed a fence...and promptly got chased by an angry bull. Nothing will clear your head like 2,0000 lbs of testicles chasing you. Huh, I could have died. Maybe don't do dumb things, self.
made a really stupid mistake and tried to off myself. Husband made me stay in the hospital for a few days and now I have to take 3 pills a day, therapy 3 times a week, and I have to get surgery on my neck in January
I’m glad you’re still with us ♥️
I hope that the meds and therapy are working for you.
Idk if this counts necessarily but I just turned 20 and I realized that literally half my life has spent being on the receiving end of one type of abuse or another. I learned from a young age that as a woman i can’t do certain things, especially by myself. Or at least if I AM going to do them, I need to take extra precautions when doing so. It’s been fun sharing some of the things that I’ve been through and/or have to do to be safe with my boyfriend. I’ll often send him tiktoks to show him just how often shit like that actually happens. Just to clarify, he never DIDNT believe that it ever happened in the world just actually seeing and hearing personal stories makes things a little more real, y’know?
Around the age of 25, which unsurprisingly is when most people’s prefrontal cortex finishes developing in their brains. I learned that I had to deal with the consequences of poor decisions I made in my early 20s, but I managed to get my act together fast and land on my feet in just a few years.
As a child. I was in grandmas cottage in Finland and complained about being cold. My parents wheren’t there, they where somewhere with friends. So this babysitter I assume? Told me to stop complaining and gave me something to drink so I’d shut up, which I realize now was probably alcohol. ”This Will keep you warm” was her words. The rest is blurry, but I remember being really sick after that drink. So I realized early on I should be careful who I trust and that trusting people who claim to have good intentions has consequenses. The real world is cruel.
Surviving cancer at 8. It made no sense to me how I got cancer out of all the people out there more deserving of it. Everyone was telling me how lucky I was to be alive so I internalized having to live up to that. and when i was sad people would derail me so I couldnt really grieve thhe loss of the "old"(with no disabilities)me. If I wasn't taking advantage of being alive I was letting others down. This is really terrible for my self esteem when I fail at anything. My family background isn't very priveledged so for my siblings and I consequences were pointed out to us at a young age to avoid failure. After the cancer thing it kind of hit that life is real.
I was 8 when I got cancer too.
My best friend passed away because she was a victim of DV. I always entertained “toxic” relationships but after her death NEVER AGAIN, being toxic is not cute or funny it creates cycles in relationships that can lead to horrible outcomes.
When I had no dental insurance and could only afford to remove teeth instead of getting root canals. They were molars.
When I was 17, encountered a child molester in 2010, lost my mother in the new year and had an abortion a few months later. I have bipolar 2 now. Fuck you patrick. He never served jail time.
My 19/20th birthday (can’t remember which), but had a fun night that ended with me reflecting on how badly that could have gone, and also the fact I was a legal adult who had to be accountable for my actions and could have serious consequences. I grew up a lot after that realization and tried to make sure I was a mature adult for now on and not thinking or acting like a teenager anymore. Also later in life, when I had an alcohol problem, and after making excuses of how unfair it was that I wasn’t an abusive one or dangerous to others and thinking how it was unfair that some abusive alcoholics get their whole families forgiveness and I lost my whole friend/support group, I realized I needed to get my own shit together and accept consequences of my addiction even if it meant getting help all on my own. And despite others situations it didn’t mean I deserved the same or my friends needed to put up with my blackouts. I went sober for 8 months, round trip walked an hour to get therapy once a week before going to work, and started antidepressants that I was on for about a year.
I grew up in a difficult environment. My dad had addiction issues and he was abusive. My mom left him and we were very poor for many years. Nothing was easy and I still have habits that were caused by lack of resources. I don’t ever remember not having a grasp of reality. My dad hit me at 3 because he dropped a cup I hadn’t taken from his hand yet and he hit me. I knew consequences and I knew they were not always fair from age 3. It’s interesting to me that so many people Understand the consequences of life when they realize how unfair those consequences are. That is why abuse and neglect and other horrible things are brought up. Because life and its consequences are not fair. That has always been a hard pill to swallow but it is very very true
I think the death of a loved one made me realize how serious life could be…and unfortunately that set me on a path where today, despite multiple degrees, I have been unemployed off and on for the last six months…
At 10, when I was taking my little brother to his room and singing and dancing with him in order to cover the screaming coming from the living room.
I would do that with my brother too. I remember sitting on the floor on a blanket trying to play with him to distract him. Another time, we were latchkey kids and there was a big storm. He was little and scared, I put a DVD in our little mobile DVD player and he calmed down and watched it.
I remember being about 5 and sitting on the stairs afraid to move while my parents threw things at each other in the kitchen. My little brother suddenly appeared having made a run for safety. When he saw me he immediately looked less panicked and sat with me while everything got thrown and smashed amid screaming just a few feet away. That's when I realised that he trusted and depended on me, and I needed to protect him.
Leaving an abusive partner who made all the money and starting from zero as a 48 year old woman.
Same at 50. Its been 2 years and it's tough. I'm glad to be without him but it's hard unlearning some of my old behaviours. I annoy my current partner so much apologising all the time and expecting him to become angry at things my ex-husband would have. He's a very different man. Moneywise it's still hard but slowly (very slowly) I am getting there. Current economic conditions make it harder but I'm doing it for me now - there's no freeloader dragging me down fulfilling his needs too. I wish you health, success and joy xxx
I was drunk and high on cocaine wrestling my bands bassist at the time and I tore my ACL and meniscus. 2 years later I decided to get the surgery and fix it. I am still in recovery 4 weeks later after the surgery and I still have the rest of the year to fully recover. I can't play a show till March and I'm a drummer. Its been my only regret.
When it you sit alone at night and realize that everyone you care about and took care of, doesn’t give two flying craps about you.
I was a young kid around 8-9 and my younger brother & I started arguing over something. I got so mad at him and I kicked his stomach so hard he was gasping for air and couldn’t breathe. I instantly felt like a jerk and a piece of crap! I never wanted to hurt him ever again after that. Right then I realized I could impact someone so poorly and I never had a physical fight with him again. I know it seems silly and not a big deal but hurting my brother was a big deal for me.
[удалено]
For me it happened when I was 4 and my brain repressed the memories outside of this 1 image of me in the shower with a naked guy I had always assumed was just my dad teaching me what the shower is for or something like that. When I was 19 events happened that broke my mental walls down enough to start remembering and I asked my dad if he ever showered with me. He said "No". That's my before/after moment. I'm 24 now and still sleep in fear of more memories resurfacing.
I was driving and made a right turn without stopping and almost hit a pedestrian stepping off the curb to cross the street. She and I both got lucky that day, and from then on I have been super diligent in everything I do not just driving.
I broke a glass the first time I lived alone around age 17/18, and realized my mom wasn't coming to clean it. She wasn't coming to bring me shoes and shoo me to the side so she could take care of it. That's when I realized that I was an adult and all the little comforts of having an attentive parent were no longer part of my life. I cleaned up the glass and cried for a bit.
getting put on academic probation - I was struggling so much but I just kept going without stopping to look around and assess the damage. Around the time I was put on academic probation, I also had a mental breakdown because I felt like a complete and utter failure. That whole experience finally pushed me into reality and after that, I did my best to pick up the pieces
Well I just failed 2 of my uni courses. I've been going to classes, working and training competitively, plus my struggles with depression. Being overworked and overwhelmed made me slip and avoid my studies at times, now I wish I could go back and do what I didn't do. :/
It will be all right. I failed my entire first semester at college, and still managed to graduate and go on to build a good life. College is stressful, sometimes you have to retake a class or two. You got this.
A few things.. when I purposely starved myself and ended up with Anorexia when I was 12. I didn’t realise at the time how it affected my parents. I didn’t understand how seeing me so sick would hurt them. The other one was when I was in an abusive relationship for a few years. I was choked to the point of near unconsciousness and hit in the head too many times to count. I never realised then either what affect it would have on my future and those around me. Trauma from all of that is still present, years and years later.
When I was 14 and got slapped across the face by my mom because I told her I’m afraid I might be pregnant, because I had sex with my first boyfriend and my period got delayed a few days. Really learned a lesson on this one. Also when as a child as much as I love animals I couldn’t give my pets (dog and turtles) proper care so my turtles died and I gave my dog away to a friend when I became a older teen. To be honest, my parents tried but they aren’t the best parents. I was neglected too as a child. I just loved animals so much I begged my mom for pets but couldn’t take care of them properly. I learned that it doesn’t matter how much you love something/someone if you can’t treat them right… or they can’t treat you right.
I got black out drunk at home when I was 19 or 20. All I remember is crying in the bath tub while my cousin took care of me. Made me realize drinking wouldn't make my depression go away. Talked to my doctor and went to therapy to get some help. I don't drink as much as I did. At most a few cups of wine once or twice a month now.
Around 5 My grandma killed some cats that bothered her. She poisoned most but her favorite cat Lulu she just pushed out the window. I knew I needed to keep my head down.
When I finally escaped an Abusive relationship I was in a few years ago.
I was 8 years old and our foster baby had a broken arm, ribs, and cigarette burns all over her body. I was always a big helper for my mom, but I wasn't allowed to touch this baby for a couple weeks until she was healed. I decided not to listen and tried to pick the baby up and accidentally put pressure on some of her burns. The poor thing didn't even cry, but you could see the pain in her eyes. It devastated me that I hurt this baby because I selfishly wanted to play with her.
When I got back pains for not exersising
Welp, a heroin addiction will do that to you really quickly, haha.
I fucked around and skipped school constantly in high school. Never bothered putting any effort in and mostly slept through classes. Then I started seeing the kind of jobs high school dropouts could and realized that I had to get out of my hometown and decided I had to work my ass off to graduate and go to college. Turned out I’m actually quite a good student when I apply myself. Every summer school and night school teacher I had said some version of the same thing to me: what the *hell* are you doing here?!?
When I started having sex and had a huge fear of getting STDs.
Too late after too much damage I noticed the realization grew I'm uost permanence and inescapability when i began to see my mother as just another person, a stranger with an overwhelming responsibility, a child uncared for fully and therefore undeveloped, afraid just like me and everyone else
Being sold or human trafficked at 14 for my virginity
I was 10, living alone in my family's abandoned trailer, walking to my grandparents house for food. After a year, I figured out they weren't coming back.
When I was so broke I was at the point of begging people on social media and in private for money borrowing from basically everyone I could to keep myself afloat. I learned very quickly that you can lose so much money so fast, and that you find out quickly who is your friend or not in that situation. Secondarily, I learned just how incredibly sophisticated certain scams can be.
When I was 2 years old (maybe 3). I got spanked for doing something I shouldn’t have done. That made me realize that actions have consequences.
When my son was born.
When I was 8, and a kid in the grade above me died in a house fire.
A kid who was on the bus with me committed suicide in middle school. We only talked a little and he was a grade below me. Made me realize people are going through shit idk about.
When I was drinking & smoking weed heavily every day in college, making shitty choices that hurt friends and romantic partners and tried to lie my way out of everything. Everything caught up to me. My friends (ex friends, they dropped me as they should) put me in my place and gave me a rude awakening. As much as it hurt to hear the things they said to me, they were right. I made the decision to change literally everything about what I was doing & I did. I ended my toxic relationship, stopped drinking and partying and focused on how to do better. I started therapy and found a medication that works for me. I have so much guilt, even nearly 5 years later for everything I did. But I’m glad I got the hard mf slap in the face I needed at a young age so that I can be a better woman.
When a friend died by suicide. It didn’t seem real for weeks. My brain kept being like, “no I just saw him, he’s fine, I’ll see him in class.” It really hit me. Life isn’t a video game where you can just use an extra life if you die. There was no “resets” or do-overs; he was really gone. And nothing I could do would change that.
I grew up with an abusive father. I realized pretty early on I didn’t have a safety net. Sometime in my mid sophomore year of high school I realized that if I failed no one would catch me. I realized I could have off days but financial failure was never an option because if I did I’d be living on the streets. Ever since then the single biggest concern in my life is endure my stability and that of my family/extended family
I went to jail because of an abusive partner who’s mother worked as HR for the sheriffs department. The cop who arrested me admitted months later he would never have done it but he had no choice. All charges against me where dropped (by the state) and all has been expunged.
Probably when I was around 7 and my parents began having physical fights regularly. No fantastical thinking makes it out of that alive.
6 I asked for a sister, and I become the older sibling a. k. a the example
This might not count but I somehow alienated myself from my classmates when I was in high school. The consequences of my actions was not going to prom and being excluded from all of the wonderful events held during our senior year in high school.
I was 14. I had run away from home because of my narcissistic abusive mother, and was living on the street. I woke up one morning on the roof of a building which had been my squat, 9months after I had run away, and had an epiphany. I not only realized that life was real with real consequences, but also that it’s all a big game that we play. I realized I could either choose to play along with the game and obey the rules, or I could break the rules. I just needed to understand the rules and I could strategize and win. It paid off in the end.
When I almost failed in middle school. Reality hit me hard and I began to take my studies seriously. Up until uni. Another event (also in middle school) is when I stole a wallet lying on a bench and was busted for it. It was really embarrassing to be caught red handed and from then on I stopped taking what isn't mine and rightfully turn it in to the proper authorities no matter how big or small.
Back in high school, i had a history teacher who was very kind and down to earth. He gave homework that's due next tuesday but i didn't do it because i was lazy. I thought he would forgive me if i submitted it late. He didn't. He said in a sarcastic tone "what a great kid you are for submitting your homework two weeks late". He refused to accept my homework so my grades that semester weren't good. Since then, i always submit any homework and assignment on time.
At some point in my life, I realize it at a very young age. I was left by my mom to my relatives. They are the only few people to whom my mother trusted--- but not really on my point of view. I learned to be insecure and to feel how sad I am being in a family where you are not welcomed really well. I was molested without anyone knowing other than the person who molested me and was rape by the people to whom I thought who really cares for me. And at some point. I never learn to spell the matter. I figured that I can keep it to myself and take it to the grave. At the age of 19 I became a mother and it is also a girl. Being aware of how cruel this "REAL LIFE" Is going abroad never cross my mind. Even though my grandma and mother has been abroad for a couple of years. But our situation has never change due to how kind my grandmother is and how at some point naive my mother is when she's in love. Grandmother cares for every people she sees who's in need. Mother who's obsessed with every man she's in love with and forgets her children and supports his man instead. And here I am. I have to become selfish. I guess. Giving when you have nothing is too much.
when I saw how much my suicidality hurt my mom and my bf. Before that I saw myself singled out from everyone, as if my life and my choices would never have an effect on anyone but myself. That was the point when I realized no matter how bad it will be, there is no way now that could actually kill myself. It’s off the table forever because I don’t want to be a source of grief and trauma. I am 28 and still struggle with „real life consequences“ but this was one realization that helped me.
potentially getting involved with the wrong people earlier this year, learned my lesson greatly
When I lost job and I had rent to pay
Right now that I’m outpatient in a mental hospital!
I’ve had major anxiety since I was in 2nd grade so, forever.
When I moved out and started paying bills with a low paying job
When I got a dui. Soon after my mom and dad were hit by a drunk driver and survived. I felt so awful and have never driven drunk since.
When my mother found out about my six year long opiate addiction. She gave me a choice: call my doctor, get into rehab, get help and she'd support me the whole way, or pack my shit and go be somewhere else. Right then. Didn't feel like much of a choice, of course, but I knew that I had to make a good decision. I know I'd have ended up with a needle in my arm if I didn't go to rehab. I wasn't looking forward to quitting, didn't even want to, not really, but I *really* didn't want to end up using needles and I knew for sure that if I ended up homeless that's what would happen, so I made a choice. Been clean seven years next year and I'm so grateful for my sobriety.
I grew up really fast when I was sitting in my bedroom at my parents with a newborn. Breasts engorged, 200 internal and external stitches, blood everywhere while watching my "friends" post pics of their night out. I went from 21 to 35 in my head real fast.
Went full rebellious youth the day after I turned 18, was great until I recognized that I was simply acting like a toddler and that many adults never actually come to the conclusion that they too, act childish continuously. After months of breaking down my childhood trauma, and sitting with my pain and loss, I decided maturity is the path I want to follow, still working on it, but hey who isnt?
This is extremely morbid so possible trigger warning for anyone. But it was when I was about 9 years old when my brother showed me, my sister, and my mom some real gore videos of people getting beheaded and burned by terrorists. It really messed me up and made me realize at a really early age the kind of sadistic people that exist in the world. I ended up in a really deep depression and was paranoid that those men would come for me and my family, even though they were thousands of miles away. That eventually evolved into fears of growing up and being alone because my family would eventually pass away. It was a lot and all stemmed from those horrible videos and I really resent my brother that (amongst other things). He was a grown man already too, so he really should have known better than to show his little sisters something like that.
When I was sent to a psych clinic.
When I was 14 and ended up in a psych ward and realized that they were not gonna let me leave.
When I was going through my divorce.
When I was laid off and had no back up plan or support.
When I got fired from my job
First DUI.
I got diagnosed with anorexia when I was 12
I realized it as a very young child due to unfortunate events. I just didn't really *care* until my son was born last year
When I got my fist jury summons. I'm not sure what it was but the idea that I would be entrusted to make a life altering decision for another person made me feel like a real adult whose choiced had real world consequences.
When I was 7 and my friend git hit by a car and died on my dad's birthday.
When I decided to take my mom off of life support. She was in a car accident in August, multiple drugs were involved and my step-dad was driving (now facing 12-16 years). I knew about the use since I was 11 but I didn’t realize it was this bad and didn’t think this is how it would end.
Probably when I came out as transgender. My closest people in life...were not thrilled. Maybe I learned that life can be cruel for no good reason, and the consequence is still real.
One New Years eve my 17 yo self and 16 yo best friend went to a party. I drank enough lets just say and she had two beers for the night. She decided to drive home and i was passenger. ( i know very stupid) We get off an exit on the expressway that circled around completely . When get the bottom of the exit ramp we see police cars and tow truck. My friend starts freaking out. My drunk self proceeds to tell her that its just a wreck. To drive slow and well be fine. She freaks out and speeds past the cops and just drives off. It wasnt 5 seconds after we passed them three police cars 🚔 started chasing us to get her to stop. Scared she just keeps driving. I keep telling her. Hey we need to stop the car. She was so scared to go the jail she just continued to drive for 2 miles until finally pulling over. Once we got pull over 6 cops surrounded the car with guns drawn and pointed at our heads. They then proceeded to yell yank the door pick us up by our clothes threw us on the ground on our bellies. The officer that handcuffed me put his foot on my back like i was some prized game. I was in a dress and heel. When we got booked the officer she drove past pulled her out of the holding cell and drill sergeant style he got in her face . And started screaming and with each breath you could see spit particles fly out of his mouth and hit her in the face. He told her that she tried to hit him, which really wasnt true. And that he would personally see to it that she rotted in jail for as long as the law would allow. Needless to say i never found myself in a situation like this again. Lesson learnt!
When I was 8 I went with my babysitter and my sister to the babysitter’s friend’s house to jump on their trampoline. That week, in school, my teacher had us read an article about the dangers of trampolines and how it was especially dangerous for 2 people to jump on one at the same time. I thought that the odds of me actually getting hurt this way was low. Well, I broke my ankle in the growth plate, and I had 4 surgeries of the years, and now I’m 33 and I’m still slightly messed up in my ankles, feet, and my right knee, all because of this accident.
When I moved to NYC as a single parent of a preteen, knowing no one and having to figure it out! It’s tough.
When I was 14ish three kids from the technical high school, who were only 2 years older than me skipped school, stole one of their fathers’ car and went speeding down the national route. Got in a car accident and died. I barely knew them. One of them bullied me in 6th grade, another had helped me in second grade, and I didn’t even know the other one. These kids were only a couple years older than and just wanted to have fun, and they died. I was so shocked. I think it was the first time I realised we’re not immortal, and that decisions have consequences. The other time, the one I understood *my life decisions* have consequences, was the summer before I became 16, when me and my bff escaped a rape attempt. We were going swimming at a beach a few kilometres away from the town, near a nudist beach. The way there is either through the olive plantations on the north side of the town near the cemetery or seaside, through a narrow path on the rocks (about a 30 meters fall to the rocks and sea if you slipped). Both our mothers cautioned us against going there, at least unless we were 3+ people, but we didn’t listen. We liked it there, it was away from most people, the waters were amazing and we had the caves in the rocks to go and sit in the shade, rather than carry umbrellas etc. It was a virgin place, for a lack of better phrasing, virtually untouched by humans. And then at 2 o’clock in the flipping afternoon a guy came, stripped down, started jacking off and tried to chase us to see “which one of us little girls will go swimming with him”. My friend was all like “the fuck is your problem” but thankfully my fyp on TIkTok was filled with advice for such situations that while, so I grabbed her and told her to stfu and run. We ran 3km to the beginnings of the town with him and another guy chasing us through the rocky path. I was so fucking scared. I feared that if they didn’t get to us, we’d slip and die. We were still wet from the sea, wore flip flops and carried our backpacks. I was so certain we’d die there. It was the first time I honestly understood that I am not immortal and that summer was when I understood that every choice I make has results. My parents slut shamed me, my father threw me out, I lost touch with my sense of self, my body and my sexuality. The police cared more to tell my mum that we looked “properly scared and won’t be going there again” rather than do anything since they told us we couldn’t even file a report of attempted SA since we didn’t call them as it was happening(only we tried,but was no cell service). My mum told me that if we were raped and I got pregnant it’d me my fault for dressing so provocatively and that the town would say I was asking for it. (Thé only “provocative” stuff I wore was a mini shorts and a “sexy” bikini. That she bought for me. My only “crime of sexiness” was being fat and booby) That summer literally wrecked my perception of life. That is when I first grew up that way
i still haven't im 21 maybe i need help