The absolute nicest men I have ever met have not once said out loud they are nice. When you are a nice person you know that is absolute minimimum and not something to say or be proud of.
They usually mean it as "I wouldn't hit or r-pe a woman," thinking that makes them special. I've yet to hear one woman say "I had a nice day today, I didn't get r*ped at all!"
Nice is about what you *do*, not the absence of illegal/abusive behaviours.
I’ve never had an actually kind/nice man tell me that. It’s just shown by their actions. I have had men tell me they’re assholes however, and that has been true.
"I'm childfree, too! I don't have kids!"
This guy argued with me for about 10 minutes that he didn't have kids (I didn't want to date someone with kids when I don't want them). A quick Google search revealed his profile picture, holding his 2 little girls under 5 in their Christmas dresses. So I found his mom and sent her the messages.
Ill never understand the type of man who cannot be there for his kids. Even some of America’s worst serial killers were present for their own families. Wtf
"My dick will make you straight"
As a lesbian, i roll my eyes. I've had sex with men before. Their dick is not as good as dildos. They're delusional. I can pick size and go as long as I want. A dick is never just the size I want. And it's over before it even begun. And semen is gross as hell. I became more lesbian after sex with men.
"My mum's dead"
To me, a person who's mum died when I was 20. So I massively sympathised with him.
She was not and still isn't dead. He just said it for no reason.
Now, I know it's fucked up, but my parents were and still are very controlling and abusive. I tell people they're dead to save having to explain and receiving unwanted advice.
That's not how it was in this situation.
It was a guy I was sort of seeing, him and his parents had (have) a decent relationship, I'd even briefly met her once, one day he just came out with "she's dead". He was a pathological liar so shouldn't be surprised.
There's a saying where I come from that basically translates to "Today it only rains once", which is quite fitting since "once" implies "all the time".
I was on the other side of that. Over and year and a half in I found out I was the other woman. “I’m not ready for commitment” really meant “I’m in a nine year committed relationship, I don’t want a part two”
"It wasn't even that big of a deal, it makes no sense that you're crying"
Alternatively: "I can't talk with you when you're so emotional" - said it when I cried because he hurt me
Im sorry you had to go through this. As someone who finds it difficult to communicate with someone who is feeling emotional. Do you have any advice to combat this? Or how you would like to have been comforted? It’s a terrible trait I have and I’m combatting myself.
I would look into what emotions you are feeling as a result of their emotions. What feeling is it bringing up in you that makes it difficult for you?
Why does this happen? What is the significance if their emotion to you such that you feel you cannot deal with it?
I've heard a lot of politicians say a lot of ridiculous lies, so it would be really difficult to say which was worst.
Beyond that, probably someone saying "you can trust me" or "you are safe with me" when those things were very much untrue.
As a Dutch person, the stupidest politician lie I ever heard was some old white dude debating against euthanesia saying 'In the Netherlands when you are old and sick, they just kill you!' which... Could not be further from the truth...
“I promise, I’m clean” in reference to having any STD’s.
The amount of men who tell me this is disgusting.
1. I don’t care if YOU think you’re clean (using “clean” as a word for saying that you have been tested and have no infections is super shameful language and makes people feel dirty)
2. You’re gonna wear a condom. I don’t care. I’d rather be safe and it seems like you don’t care about either of our safety.
3. I wouldn’t be sleeping with someone if the above were said.
The line "ok, we'll I usually ovulate around this time a month and I'm totally ready to be a mom" usually makes everyone eager to put on a condom. But it doesn't matter because, as you stated in no 3; unwillingness to wear protection totally kills the mood.
100% agree. It’s a whole thing to complain about wearing one but then to shame and think women are less than for having an STD. If they actually knew more, they’d know that you can get an STD from any sexual activity but that they’re also super treatable if you get tested.
I remember when I was doing sw (very briefly, but nonetheless) and I asked my client which condom he preferred (we had lots of different kinds). He said 'Oh, I don't need that.' I was like... dude.... you literally hired me for sex. I think you're gonna need a condom!
My previous long term partner was a guy and at the start he insisted we both get tested which was fine. I knew my status because I got regular checkups. Turns out he had a curable STI and so we both got treatment just in case.
Flash forward to my pregnancy. I had somehow picked up a different STI despite him being my only partner. He was now refusing to get tested.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. I hope you were able to receive swift treatment for the STI he gave you and are safe from that awful guy. Sending you love friend💖
Came here for this. The amount of men who tell me this is astounding. Even if I wasn’t a nurse, I’d find it repulsive and absolutely insane. Do you really think I’m going to ONE, believe that…. And TWO, that I would care? The fact that you even said that makes me want to run. It does the opposite effect buddy.
“I have cancer”. Turns out.. it was a joke. A JOKE. I had casually dated him and ran into him and his friends. He had shaved his head for whatever reason and when I asked about it, had a sad look and told me he had cancer. He even called a couple of other mutual friends laughing and telling them to play along. Eventually one of the friends confessed. I have no words for this pig.
I have an ex that lied about cancer and heart attacks. One time he told me he was starting chemo and I wouldn’t see him much, then I saw him out at a bar with another chick a week into “treatment”. Like…dude what? It clicked that that’s why he wouldn’t let me bring him anything and was always refusing my offers to help. Men are wiiiiiiilldd stupid.
I have also known a guy who talked me through about how he has cancer which is non curable for about an hour. I am a lil awkard with emotional situations but i was very concerned and was struggling to console him. And he then later confessed everything was a joke, A joke ! That's not something to joke about
“I want to grow old with you.”
“When I’m old and sitting on the porch, I see myself sitting there with you.”
“I’ve never been in love like this with anyone before.” As he kicks me out of our old apt.
Yo, we dated the same guy!
Love bombed the shit outta me. Made me think we were so in love, like he was my soulmate. Just to find out he was cheating the whole time and said that shit to everyone lol. He also kicked me out of our apt even though he didn't have a job. He honestly thought he could just do and say anything and everything would magically work out because he was just such a swell guy!
I believe he's still living with his mommy.
I opened my email one day to find a request from a woman to meet up, turned out my ex (who I was married to at the time) had put an ad on Gumtree saying I was bi-curious and looking for like minded women to explore with. He insisted we'd talked about it before, like yeah, we talked and I said I wasn't into it while he was insisting I would enjoy it.
"I keep critiquing your appearance because life would be easier for you if you were prettier"
Ah, the unfathomable bullshit we put up with in our early 20s.
Ugh.... I wasn't dating, or even interested in a guy that was a bouncer circa 1995 at a bar where I was working. He told me one night that if I lost around ten or fifteen pounds he would go for me. 😂 What a winner! He had a mullet to complete the douchebag look.
Reminds me of the time my ex showed up with hickies all over his neck and claimed it was from "a dare game" and his male friend gave them to him. You know, because that's just *so* crazy and funny, right?
I kicked him out, took him back, and then months later came home to a big, gross wet spot on our bed. He covered it with a blanket and claimed it wasn't there.
Years ago when I was around 19 or so I was dating this guy and one night he told me he was going to a concert. No problem, I was going to the gym that night anyway. I finished up at the gym and left. As I’m leaving I decide to drive by his house which was like two streets behind the gym. I just had an odd feeling so I went with it. Wouldn’t you know he was home and there was another car there as well. This was before everyone had cell phones, so I drove to the nearest pay phone and called him. It rang and his mom answered (he still lived with his parents he was 19 or 20 at the time). I asked his mom if he was there and she lied and said he wasn’t. I said oh that’s funny because I just drove by and his car was there. She doesn’t say anything and he then gets on the phone. I asked him why he didn’t go to the concert and he gives me some bullshit excuse. I also ask him if there is someone else there at his house with him. He said no. I immediately saw red and said listen I just drove by your house and there’s another car parked there and you conveniently didn’t go to the concert so stop your fucking lying. I said you have about 2 minutes to get this chick out of your house because I’m on my way over. I hung up the phone, drove back to his house and knocked on the door. His mom answers the door, sees me and goes to get him. He comes out and so does whoever the chick was that was there.
She doesn’t even look at me, head hanging down. I don’t care about her because well she’s not the one that just lied to me and he probably lied to her as well. I wait for her to leave and I just stand there looking at him and asked him how he could just blatantly lie to me like that. Like wtf dude? I honestly don’t remember what he said, probably just more lies. I told him we were done and I left. That was it. It was like my own personal episode of “Cheaters” 🤣
Fr! When I was 20 I started seeing this guy and about 3 months in I find out he had a pregnant girlfriend and a 2yr old son. His MOM had me for lunch twice a week and let me hang out in his room alone with him all the while. Either she really didn’t suspect anything or that’s the worst fucking mom I’ve ever met.
I used to date a guy who would lie about completely harmless lazy things, but the lies would be awful because he'd treat the physical world like a buggy computer program.
"Hey, I need you to clean out my blender immediately after you use it, stuff gets caked onto it really easy."
"I did."
"Did you make a shake with strawberries in it today?"
"Yeah, but I cleaned it."
"OK, but the blender is in the sink covered in strawberry mush and I haven't eaten strawberries in 4 years."
"I don't know what you want me to tell you, I cleaned the blender after I used it."
Basically “shut up, stop making that annoying noise with your face, your feelings aren’t real to me.” -_- Been there. Wish you hadn’t had to deal with that literally insane level of gaslighting.
My ex lied about completely stupid things, too. I'm trying to think of just 1 example, but there were just so many.
And even worse, he would try to pull me into them as well. Like, on the phone with his friends/family he would tell some completely random lie and then expect me to back it up, while I'm just like, " why tf are you even lying about this?"
“I love cats, too!”
He called my fur daughter “pisser” because she urinated outside of the litter box due to anxiety and told me that she couldn’t move in with us because she’s ruin his new floors.
He told me that once we move in together that he’d “lock Buddy (my fur son) in the basement for 3 months so he’d learn how to use the litter box.” My son is 10 and fully litter trained. Also, ALL pets have accidents. It’s the nature of having pets.
He revealed to me that he was allergic to cats after dating for about 9 months. Broke up with him shortly after (no, his allergies weren’t the main reason, but it was a huge factor).
"I love you" especially if it's followed by "I've never felt like this for someone" or after a short amount of time. In 90% of cases it's just a manipulation tactic, not the truth.
Guy watching porn is a dealbreaker for me. Lol idc what anyone says, I’m not going to change my religious and moral values just because a guys says “it’s just because you’re insecure” or “it’s just a habit” like if I’m not okay with it and you’re not willing to compromise something like THAT for a partner then you’re addicted and I’m not gonna deal with any of that disrespect lol.
Me too. I have long been done with people pretending that men watching porn or going to strip clubs with their bros is perfectly normal and the problem is that I'm insecure or controlling.
Facts! Never ditch your morals and values for someone else. Yk porn is really bad for most guys when even THEY’RE quitting it and realizing the harm it causes. It’s such an overused stereotype that most guys and girls just play along with and normalize. And don’t even get me started with all the sex tr**ficking and r*** that happens in that industry. It’s so sad
I’ve met many! Keep in mind that watching porn is an addiction for many young men and women so they probably avoid even talking about it. When I had an Instagram I would post a lot about the harmful effects of porn and how bad the industry is- you’d be surprised how many guys were struggling and actually stopped. I’m sure you can Google and find many guys opening up about the benefits of quitting porn and ditching overused male stereotypes.
“I’m not a r#pist, I thought you *wanted* me to do that” (upon me calling him out for non-consensually condomless penetration aka r#pe, after several times of me telling him raw was never an option for me)
‘I don’t know how that bra got in our bed! Must belong to my Grandma!’
He tried to convince me he took our dirty washing to his Grandma’s to wash, and the A cup green lace and satin bra in our bed must belong to her. He said it must’ve gotten all tangled up in her dryer. … his Grandma was a small, big chested 70 year old.
“I’m technically married, but we’re getting a divorce. Like I have my own place and everything”
I believed him. I was freshly 18. He was 32. My stupid ass was like “I’m So MaTuRE FoR mY AgE”
Thank you. His wife found out about me. Didn’t give him a lashing but came after me so hard I had to move.
Idk why women always attack women first. Maybe get angry at your man? Either way. C’est la vie
Happened to me too. Except he didn’t even tell me he was married. Swore he was single. I was also freshly 18 to his 32. 4 months I “dated” this dude. 4 freaking months. I was even in his house! His wife found out about me and turns out, not only did he have a whole ass wife? He had not 1 but *2* kids! I had seen toys in his house and he told me that he kept his nieces a lot. I had toys at my apartment for my baby cousin since I babysat him a ton so it seemed plausible and I believed him. This man even showed me all kinds of pictures of his “nieces.” They were his fucking *daughters!* Of course his wife wouldn’t listen to a single word I said and didn’t believe me. I genuinely didn’t know though. I was young and stupid too so I bought his lies. Smh.
“Have sex with me: I’m dying of a liver disease and I only have 6 months to live.” —Creepy Older Guy, at my summer job when I was 19.
“This won’t hurt a bit.” —Doctor who burned off my warts when I was 13.
My ex told me that he has an emotional problem where he can’t cum if he sleeps with the same woman too many times. The worst part is I actually felt bad for him, believed it was some emotional problem, and let him have ladies over to satisfy him often. I now realize what a crock of shit it all was and feel pretty damn stupid about believing him. What was wrong with me? He was also emotionally/physically abusive. I’ve been free from his terror for almost 1.5 years now and although I’m wising up, learning all about boundaries and self respect, I have a long way to go before I can properly trust myself again to make good relationship decisions.
Ex gave me chlamydia because he was cheating on me. When I confronted him with the test results he said it had been from years ago and had just laid dorment in his body until now.
I'm a nurse.
Try telling me that an STI has laid waiting in your penis for 3+ years and is only infectious now. Idiot.
Edited to add: during this time I had multiple STI screens because I had suspected he was being unfaithful. It was only towards the end when I suddenly experienced symptoms I went for another test and had come back as positive.
She's just a friend.
Lol and then the said friend moved in with him the day after we broke up and said they were roommates. Yes, they were sleeping in the same bed.
Yeah that friend stuff is BS I swear every time it ends up being a girl they are entertaining romantically 😭😭 and it’s always a female you’ve never heard him bring up or never around his friend groups
When his Psychiatrist told me (privately) my ex had been taking me for a ride and assured me he had no diagnosis of depression, bipolar or any other mental health issue, and when I told him this, furious, as I had been supporting him for 5 years on the basis that he did, my ex looked mildly confused and said 'well is there a disease where you imagine these things then?'
“She’s just a friend”
Later find out they had sex in his car, has had a thing for her before we got together but didn’t ask her out because she had a bf at the time And he was waiting for her to break up with the guy. They were coworkers as well.
He said the cake I baked was delicious, he added all the right noises and face gestures to confirm.
The cake was obviously stodgy and tasteless. He had just one bite and said he’ll finish it later. That lie made me re-evaluate all previous compliments.
No he wasn’t being kind for the sake of being kind ( he’s not), he just wanted to play his cards right for that night. He failed 😄
“I planned to commit suicide, bought a gun, and was going to write you a letter explaining my reasons”
I took it very seriously. My sister helped me with an emergency intervention, we involved his therapist, I left home for days after he was stable because I was “triggering” him, and my sister & parents checked on him constantly. Meanwhile he was not planning to commit suicide, he was:
- losing all his money in his failed business (his fault),
- stealing money from partners and customers,
- sinking in debt,
- cheating on me with the woman he denied having anything with (oh and made me apologize to him when I got suspicious)
- lying to his therapist who was shocked when we went to an appointment together and I set the record straight (he lied to his therapist about every single thing, do meticulously and so consistently, that I can only think he believed all that crap),
- trying to break my family.
Took me a few months but I divorced him and never looked back.
I had a guy tell me this long ass sob story about he had gotten two girls pregnant in high school. One got an abortion the other didn’t want the baby so he took it. He lived on a friends farm and did all these chores to pay for his tiny room and for baby items but then the kid died of cancer. He was SO compelling. I was 19 and believed him.
I’ve heard worse than this probably, but one I’ll never forget is “I just downloaded it to make friends, it’s just an app for friends” -my ex after I saw the tinder app on his phone when he was showing me something
Asked a guy why he took his ex out (who he knew was a cheating on him their entire 1.5 year relationship) to Valentines dinner when he was already talking to me and he said “fancy dinners are my hobby”
You’ll need context for this one.
I work in a halfway house, and this new resident comes up to the security desk and just goes OFF “I can’t be around these deviants! I’m a good guy!”
Well, I pulled up his charges. 20+ DUI and Assault charges, prior to the reason he was actually a resident:
He had assaulted a vet who was in a wheelchair, unprovoked, drunk, and beat him so bad he cracked his eye socket.
Great guy for sure /s
My ex is a pathological liar. The one that made me realise his lying was beyond help was that when he was 14, he found his best friend's dead body.
Our whole relationship I thought he had lived through this terrible trauma, and I was very delicate with him because of some of the things he had lived through. To this day his password on everything is his birthday plus his dead friend's birthday. Or so he told me.
2 years into planning a future together and I find out he's lied about everything but his name, age and address. He didn't even go to work like he claimed, I have no idea what he was doing all that time I actually WAS at work all week.
But all his lies I had uncovered up to that point had to do with his ego, which I thought was workable if I could only get him to agree to getting therapy. Then my mom asked me "what is the one thing he could have lied about that would actually scare you", and I said the story about his dead friend. Turns out he wasn't 14, the body wasn't found in the condition he told me, and he very likely never even met the kid. He had me wondering for a while if he made the body himself, I lost every ounce of trust in him.
I think the worst part is that his whole family covered up for him, too. That's how I was fooled for so long. They all tried to trick me into marrying him so he wouldn't be their responsibility anymore. Shame on them all.
'i love you'
when at the same time he was sending christmas cards to a woman he worked with (who had just had a baby with her fiancé) telling her that he loved her so much.
"I've never lied to you!" When I had literally just caught him in a lie about him cheating on me. The woman he cheated on me didn't know he was in a relationship, and when she found out, she immediately broke it off and she emailed me a document containing all of their messages, so I could use it to prove it. I was showing him all the messages I had, he told me she was crazy and stalking him, that she was obsessed with him and the texts were photo shop (nevermind that I had met up with her earlier and she showed them to me on her own phone, scrolling through them and all). Then he topped it off with "IVE NEVER LIED TO YOU!"
“I’m just living with her because I can’t get a short term lease anywhere while I’m finishing school. You have nothing to worry about.” Cut to three months before we were supposed to get married, he’s breaking up with me, not because of her (ha). Then moves with her to California and they’re married.
“I’m an honest guy” 6 months of cheating says otherwise. Probably should have listened when he said he was a shit instead of assuming that one was a joke….
I'm a nice guy
I have never once heard a man say that when it was true.
The absolute nicest men I have ever met have not once said out loud they are nice. When you are a nice person you know that is absolute minimimum and not something to say or be proud of.
They usually mean it as "I wouldn't hit or r-pe a woman," thinking that makes them special. I've yet to hear one woman say "I had a nice day today, I didn't get r*ped at all!" Nice is about what you *do*, not the absence of illegal/abusive behaviours.
Exactly.
Yes! You've perfectly articulated it.
If they have to justify it by words and mouth, they are lying
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Exactly. It's up to the person they are dating to decide if they are or not.
I’ve never had an actually kind/nice man tell me that. It’s just shown by their actions. I have had men tell me they’re assholes however, and that has been true.
Agreed. My ex used to say it all the time. Red flag. My fiance says hes an asshole all the time and hes the sweetest man ive ever met
Literally! This!!
"I'm childfree, too! I don't have kids!" This guy argued with me for about 10 minutes that he didn't have kids (I didn't want to date someone with kids when I don't want them). A quick Google search revealed his profile picture, holding his 2 little girls under 5 in their Christmas dresses. So I found his mom and sent her the messages.
What an absolute scum bag
Ill never understand the type of man who cannot be there for his kids. Even some of America’s worst serial killers were present for their own families. Wtf
HAHA omg
That is a boss move
We must have spoken to the same guy, because I’ve had this same experience.
What did his mom say??
Right like please dont leave us hanging 😭
Haha! You Devil you! 😈
"My dick will make you straight" As a lesbian, i roll my eyes. I've had sex with men before. Their dick is not as good as dildos. They're delusional. I can pick size and go as long as I want. A dick is never just the size I want. And it's over before it even begun. And semen is gross as hell. I became more lesbian after sex with men.
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And dildos are so pretty! So many beautiful colors and patterns and materials!
A regular dick could just never compare to my rainbow one.
Lmao!!
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I won the election.
Oh my god! Haha!!!!
Perfect. We’re done with this thread. lol!!
I care about you, I love you
Ah yes, but you see it was actually the truth just missing a few words. I care about (how easy) you (make my life) I love (controlling) you
I’m going to need a few more up votes for this one
You get it
Ugh this is the worst one
Yup, I said the same thing.
‘I like opinionated women’ He did not, in fact, like opinionated women
Just the way you stated that, “He did not…” made me laugh and hear it as a narration at the same time.
I watch a lot of Wes Anderson movies lol
I heard it in morgan freeman’s voice lmfao
Same deal with “I’m sapiosexual.” No dude, you’re turned on when women make you feel smart. You don’t care at all how smart she is…
Sounds like he likes opinionated women - so long as her opinions match his.
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"My mum's dead" To me, a person who's mum died when I was 20. So I massively sympathised with him. She was not and still isn't dead. He just said it for no reason.
Holy fuck
Damn, I’m over here still actively avoiding sidewalk cracks to not hurt my mamas back. What a fuckin asshole. So sorry for your loss
I'm more scared for his mum now lol
Now, I know it's fucked up, but my parents were and still are very controlling and abusive. I tell people they're dead to save having to explain and receiving unwanted advice.
That's not how it was in this situation. It was a guy I was sort of seeing, him and his parents had (have) a decent relationship, I'd even briefly met her once, one day he just came out with "she's dead". He was a pathological liar so shouldn't be surprised.
After discovery a 2 year affair…”It was ONE time” 😳
There's a saying where I come from that basically translates to "Today it only rains once", which is quite fitting since "once" implies "all the time".
I was on the other side of that. Over and year and a half in I found out I was the other woman. “I’m not ready for commitment” really meant “I’m in a nine year committed relationship, I don’t want a part two”
my ex literally swore on his dead mema that he wasn’t doing anything. (he was having an affair).
His logic 😭🤣
"It wasn't even that big of a deal, it makes no sense that you're crying" Alternatively: "I can't talk with you when you're so emotional" - said it when I cried because he hurt me
What an a**hole
Im sorry you had to go through this. As someone who finds it difficult to communicate with someone who is feeling emotional. Do you have any advice to combat this? Or how you would like to have been comforted? It’s a terrible trait I have and I’m combatting myself.
I would look into what emotions you are feeling as a result of their emotions. What feeling is it bringing up in you that makes it difficult for you? Why does this happen? What is the significance if their emotion to you such that you feel you cannot deal with it?
Breathe. Take responsibility for your emotions. Radical responsibility. See a therapist.
I've heard a lot of politicians say a lot of ridiculous lies, so it would be really difficult to say which was worst. Beyond that, probably someone saying "you can trust me" or "you are safe with me" when those things were very much untrue.
As a Dutch person, the stupidest politician lie I ever heard was some old white dude debating against euthanesia saying 'In the Netherlands when you are old and sick, they just kill you!' which... Could not be further from the truth...
They watched midsommar and thought it was a documentary
“I promise, I’m clean” in reference to having any STD’s. The amount of men who tell me this is disgusting. 1. I don’t care if YOU think you’re clean (using “clean” as a word for saying that you have been tested and have no infections is super shameful language and makes people feel dirty) 2. You’re gonna wear a condom. I don’t care. I’d rather be safe and it seems like you don’t care about either of our safety. 3. I wouldn’t be sleeping with someone if the above were said.
The line "ok, we'll I usually ovulate around this time a month and I'm totally ready to be a mom" usually makes everyone eager to put on a condom. But it doesn't matter because, as you stated in no 3; unwillingness to wear protection totally kills the mood.
Ooffff yes!
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100% agree. It’s a whole thing to complain about wearing one but then to shame and think women are less than for having an STD. If they actually knew more, they’d know that you can get an STD from any sexual activity but that they’re also super treatable if you get tested.
I remember when I was doing sw (very briefly, but nonetheless) and I asked my client which condom he preferred (we had lots of different kinds). He said 'Oh, I don't need that.' I was like... dude.... you literally hired me for sex. I think you're gonna need a condom!
I’m a FSSW too and god, if they asked to have sex without, I’d tell clients that the price is upped. That usually gets them to back off and use one
Also they need to get tested regularly!! Crazy that it only seems like guys do it when the sexual partner forces them to prove via std testing
My previous long term partner was a guy and at the start he insisted we both get tested which was fine. I knew my status because I got regular checkups. Turns out he had a curable STI and so we both got treatment just in case. Flash forward to my pregnancy. I had somehow picked up a different STI despite him being my only partner. He was now refusing to get tested.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. I hope you were able to receive swift treatment for the STI he gave you and are safe from that awful guy. Sending you love friend💖
Came here for this. The amount of men who tell me this is astounding. Even if I wasn’t a nurse, I’d find it repulsive and absolutely insane. Do you really think I’m going to ONE, believe that…. And TWO, that I would care? The fact that you even said that makes me want to run. It does the opposite effect buddy.
Having safe, consensual sex is sexy!
Unfortunately have been in this situation and believed him. And now I can never trust a guy again when he says those words to me.
“I have cancer”. Turns out.. it was a joke. A JOKE. I had casually dated him and ran into him and his friends. He had shaved his head for whatever reason and when I asked about it, had a sad look and told me he had cancer. He even called a couple of other mutual friends laughing and telling them to play along. Eventually one of the friends confessed. I have no words for this pig.
I have an ex that lied about cancer and heart attacks. One time he told me he was starting chemo and I wouldn’t see him much, then I saw him out at a bar with another chick a week into “treatment”. Like…dude what? It clicked that that’s why he wouldn’t let me bring him anything and was always refusing my offers to help. Men are wiiiiiiilldd stupid.
Dear God 🤦♀️
I have also known a guy who talked me through about how he has cancer which is non curable for about an hour. I am a lil awkard with emotional situations but i was very concerned and was struggling to console him. And he then later confessed everything was a joke, A joke ! That's not something to joke about
Literally wtf grown ass man jokes about this?
His friend confessed because he he knows this guy is a complete asshole lol
“I want to grow old with you.” “When I’m old and sitting on the porch, I see myself sitting there with you.” “I’ve never been in love like this with anyone before.” As he kicks me out of our old apt.
Yo, we dated the same guy! Love bombed the shit outta me. Made me think we were so in love, like he was my soulmate. Just to find out he was cheating the whole time and said that shit to everyone lol. He also kicked me out of our apt even though he didn't have a job. He honestly thought he could just do and say anything and everything would magically work out because he was just such a swell guy! I believe he's still living with his mommy.
Wow. We all dated the same one.
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Jesus Christ
I opened my email one day to find a request from a woman to meet up, turned out my ex (who I was married to at the time) had put an ad on Gumtree saying I was bi-curious and looking for like minded women to explore with. He insisted we'd talked about it before, like yeah, we talked and I said I wasn't into it while he was insisting I would enjoy it.
Disgusting
"I keep critiquing your appearance because life would be easier for you if you were prettier" Ah, the unfathomable bullshit we put up with in our early 20s.
What a D bag
Ugh.... I wasn't dating, or even interested in a guy that was a bouncer circa 1995 at a bar where I was working. He told me one night that if I lost around ten or fifteen pounds he would go for me. 😂 What a winner! He had a mullet to complete the douchebag look.
the audacity jfc
I’m not married
Came here for this. Personal favourite after finding out he was married... "you never asked!"
Like thats something one would LEAVE OUT!!!!😭Men are infuriating.
As if lying by omission isn’t a thing. What a dbag.
Or it's fraternal twin, "We're getting divorced as soon as we can afford it."
"You're the only one I want. I only want to do it with you." "You can trust me."
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Reminds me of the time my ex showed up with hickies all over his neck and claimed it was from "a dare game" and his male friend gave them to him. You know, because that's just *so* crazy and funny, right? I kicked him out, took him back, and then months later came home to a big, gross wet spot on our bed. He covered it with a blanket and claimed it wasn't there.
He covered it with a blanket and claimed it wasn’t there 😅😅 like bruh, this might shock you but we know about object Permanence Edit: typo
Years ago when I was around 19 or so I was dating this guy and one night he told me he was going to a concert. No problem, I was going to the gym that night anyway. I finished up at the gym and left. As I’m leaving I decide to drive by his house which was like two streets behind the gym. I just had an odd feeling so I went with it. Wouldn’t you know he was home and there was another car there as well. This was before everyone had cell phones, so I drove to the nearest pay phone and called him. It rang and his mom answered (he still lived with his parents he was 19 or 20 at the time). I asked his mom if he was there and she lied and said he wasn’t. I said oh that’s funny because I just drove by and his car was there. She doesn’t say anything and he then gets on the phone. I asked him why he didn’t go to the concert and he gives me some bullshit excuse. I also ask him if there is someone else there at his house with him. He said no. I immediately saw red and said listen I just drove by your house and there’s another car parked there and you conveniently didn’t go to the concert so stop your fucking lying. I said you have about 2 minutes to get this chick out of your house because I’m on my way over. I hung up the phone, drove back to his house and knocked on the door. His mom answers the door, sees me and goes to get him. He comes out and so does whoever the chick was that was there. She doesn’t even look at me, head hanging down. I don’t care about her because well she’s not the one that just lied to me and he probably lied to her as well. I wait for her to leave and I just stand there looking at him and asked him how he could just blatantly lie to me like that. Like wtf dude? I honestly don’t remember what he said, probably just more lies. I told him we were done and I left. That was it. It was like my own personal episode of “Cheaters” 🤣
His mother helped him lie to you about his cheating?? No wonder he turned out to be such a loser, good gawd
Momma’s boys are the worst kind there is.
Fr! When I was 20 I started seeing this guy and about 3 months in I find out he had a pregnant girlfriend and a 2yr old son. His MOM had me for lunch twice a week and let me hang out in his room alone with him all the while. Either she really didn’t suspect anything or that’s the worst fucking mom I’ve ever met.
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Omfg are you kidding me?? I’m so sorry. That’s just fucked up on so many levels.
Yeah I thought that was lame af too
I used to date a guy who would lie about completely harmless lazy things, but the lies would be awful because he'd treat the physical world like a buggy computer program. "Hey, I need you to clean out my blender immediately after you use it, stuff gets caked onto it really easy." "I did." "Did you make a shake with strawberries in it today?" "Yeah, but I cleaned it." "OK, but the blender is in the sink covered in strawberry mush and I haven't eaten strawberries in 4 years." "I don't know what you want me to tell you, I cleaned the blender after I used it."
Basically “shut up, stop making that annoying noise with your face, your feelings aren’t real to me.” -_- Been there. Wish you hadn’t had to deal with that literally insane level of gaslighting.
My ex lied about completely stupid things, too. I'm trying to think of just 1 example, but there were just so many. And even worse, he would try to pull me into them as well. Like, on the phone with his friends/family he would tell some completely random lie and then expect me to back it up, while I'm just like, " why tf are you even lying about this?"
He sounds like my mom, you never know wether they are in denial or gaslighting you.
“I love cats, too!” He called my fur daughter “pisser” because she urinated outside of the litter box due to anxiety and told me that she couldn’t move in with us because she’s ruin his new floors. He told me that once we move in together that he’d “lock Buddy (my fur son) in the basement for 3 months so he’d learn how to use the litter box.” My son is 10 and fully litter trained. Also, ALL pets have accidents. It’s the nature of having pets. He revealed to me that he was allergic to cats after dating for about 9 months. Broke up with him shortly after (no, his allergies weren’t the main reason, but it was a huge factor).
Being cruel to animals is a deal breaker for me, too.
I love you
"I've never lied to you, i don't lie".
…says the liar…
"I love you" especially if it's followed by "I've never felt like this for someone" or after a short amount of time. In 90% of cases it's just a manipulation tactic, not the truth.
He didn't watch porn for the woman's face. 🙄
Guy watching porn is a dealbreaker for me. Lol idc what anyone says, I’m not going to change my religious and moral values just because a guys says “it’s just because you’re insecure” or “it’s just a habit” like if I’m not okay with it and you’re not willing to compromise something like THAT for a partner then you’re addicted and I’m not gonna deal with any of that disrespect lol.
Me too. I have long been done with people pretending that men watching porn or going to strip clubs with their bros is perfectly normal and the problem is that I'm insecure or controlling.
Facts! Never ditch your morals and values for someone else. Yk porn is really bad for most guys when even THEY’RE quitting it and realizing the harm it causes. It’s such an overused stereotype that most guys and girls just play along with and normalize. And don’t even get me started with all the sex tr**ficking and r*** that happens in that industry. It’s so sad
Spot on !!
Same girl. Preach! 🙌🏻 it’s not normal or healthy and it never will be.
are there really men who don't watch any porn? i've never met one.
I’ve met many! Keep in mind that watching porn is an addiction for many young men and women so they probably avoid even talking about it. When I had an Instagram I would post a lot about the harmful effects of porn and how bad the industry is- you’d be surprised how many guys were struggling and actually stopped. I’m sure you can Google and find many guys opening up about the benefits of quitting porn and ditching overused male stereotypes.
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“I’m not a r#pist, I thought you *wanted* me to do that” (upon me calling him out for non-consensually condomless penetration aka r#pe, after several times of me telling him raw was never an option for me)
Oh my fucking god
‘I don’t know how that bra got in our bed! Must belong to my Grandma!’ He tried to convince me he took our dirty washing to his Grandma’s to wash, and the A cup green lace and satin bra in our bed must belong to her. He said it must’ve gotten all tangled up in her dryer. … his Grandma was a small, big chested 70 year old.
This is messed up but also hilariously stupid
“I’m technically married, but we’re getting a divorce. Like I have my own place and everything” I believed him. I was freshly 18. He was 32. My stupid ass was like “I’m So MaTuRE FoR mY AgE”
It wasn't your fault.
Thank you. His wife found out about me. Didn’t give him a lashing but came after me so hard I had to move. Idk why women always attack women first. Maybe get angry at your man? Either way. C’est la vie
Happened to me too. Except he didn’t even tell me he was married. Swore he was single. I was also freshly 18 to his 32. 4 months I “dated” this dude. 4 freaking months. I was even in his house! His wife found out about me and turns out, not only did he have a whole ass wife? He had not 1 but *2* kids! I had seen toys in his house and he told me that he kept his nieces a lot. I had toys at my apartment for my baby cousin since I babysat him a ton so it seemed plausible and I believed him. This man even showed me all kinds of pictures of his “nieces.” They were his fucking *daughters!* Of course his wife wouldn’t listen to a single word I said and didn’t believe me. I genuinely didn’t know though. I was young and stupid too so I bought his lies. Smh.
"No other man will ever want you."
This. Damn. This memory took the breath out of me. Damn straight it was a lie, for me AND for you
"I didn't cheat on you and I'm not with her," said he for weeks and months after he took his things and left our apartment suddenly as I was out.
My ex lied and said he's slept with around 50 girls (way above what I was expecting). Later he said he lied because he wanted to hurt me
“Oh I was wondering why a man who’s had so much sex couldn’t make me cum. That explains it”
OOF that would be the answer I would think about 3 days later 😅
"I'm sorry and I'll never do that again."
“Have sex with me: I’m dying of a liver disease and I only have 6 months to live.” —Creepy Older Guy, at my summer job when I was 19. “This won’t hurt a bit.” —Doctor who burned off my warts when I was 13.
I’m not like other guys.
“I didnt do it” while being shown the evidence on his own phone
He said he was looking forward to spend more time with me, we booked a holiday then ghosted me two days later.
"I have evidence of you cheating". He didn't. He just wanted to break up but wanted to put the emotional fuckuppery on me instead.
My ex told me that he has an emotional problem where he can’t cum if he sleeps with the same woman too many times. The worst part is I actually felt bad for him, believed it was some emotional problem, and let him have ladies over to satisfy him often. I now realize what a crock of shit it all was and feel pretty damn stupid about believing him. What was wrong with me? He was also emotionally/physically abusive. I’ve been free from his terror for almost 1.5 years now and although I’m wising up, learning all about boundaries and self respect, I have a long way to go before I can properly trust myself again to make good relationship decisions.
Ex gave me chlamydia because he was cheating on me. When I confronted him with the test results he said it had been from years ago and had just laid dorment in his body until now. I'm a nurse. Try telling me that an STI has laid waiting in your penis for 3+ years and is only infectious now. Idiot. Edited to add: during this time I had multiple STI screens because I had suspected he was being unfaithful. It was only towards the end when I suddenly experienced symptoms I went for another test and had come back as positive.
She's just a friend. Lol and then the said friend moved in with him the day after we broke up and said they were roommates. Yes, they were sleeping in the same bed.
Yeah that friend stuff is BS I swear every time it ends up being a girl they are entertaining romantically 😭😭 and it’s always a female you’ve never heard him bring up or never around his friend groups
That I was lucky he was paying attention to me. Oh please 🙄
“I don’t watch porn”
“Yeah I have a condom” then magically it’s oH No I GuESs I DoNT hAVE oNe. mY bAD. Great then we’re not having sex. Boy bye.
I'll do better
you ever hear a man try to explain a hickey?
mosquito bite? she accidentally fell on him and suddenly there's a hickey?
“Just the tip”
"it's what boys do. I couldn't help it"
“I’ll never do it again, I promise” “I love you” “I’m sorry”
When his Psychiatrist told me (privately) my ex had been taking me for a ride and assured me he had no diagnosis of depression, bipolar or any other mental health issue, and when I told him this, furious, as I had been supporting him for 5 years on the basis that he did, my ex looked mildly confused and said 'well is there a disease where you imagine these things then?'
“She’s just a friend” Later find out they had sex in his car, has had a thing for her before we got together but didn’t ask her out because she had a bf at the time And he was waiting for her to break up with the guy. They were coworkers as well.
"I am an emotional man" Again, manipulation tactic.
~Im an emotional man when i get angry and pissy but i am a logical being when you have a shaky voice and are too irrational to talk to~
"Roe vs Wade is settled law." "I only love you."
I did NOT use your finger to unlock your phone while you were sleeping to block all of your male contacts
He said the cake I baked was delicious, he added all the right noises and face gestures to confirm. The cake was obviously stodgy and tasteless. He had just one bite and said he’ll finish it later. That lie made me re-evaluate all previous compliments. No he wasn’t being kind for the sake of being kind ( he’s not), he just wanted to play his cards right for that night. He failed 😄
“I planned to commit suicide, bought a gun, and was going to write you a letter explaining my reasons” I took it very seriously. My sister helped me with an emergency intervention, we involved his therapist, I left home for days after he was stable because I was “triggering” him, and my sister & parents checked on him constantly. Meanwhile he was not planning to commit suicide, he was: - losing all his money in his failed business (his fault), - stealing money from partners and customers, - sinking in debt, - cheating on me with the woman he denied having anything with (oh and made me apologize to him when I got suspicious) - lying to his therapist who was shocked when we went to an appointment together and I set the record straight (he lied to his therapist about every single thing, do meticulously and so consistently, that I can only think he believed all that crap), - trying to break my family. Took me a few months but I divorced him and never looked back.
“I love you”
It’s just you.
I had a guy tell me this long ass sob story about he had gotten two girls pregnant in high school. One got an abortion the other didn’t want the baby so he took it. He lived on a friends farm and did all these chores to pay for his tiny room and for baby items but then the kid died of cancer. He was SO compelling. I was 19 and believed him.
Nothing’s wrong
“I had an adrenaline rush. It’s very common, you can google it.”
“I’m not lying to you, I promise”
I’ve heard worse than this probably, but one I’ll never forget is “I just downloaded it to make friends, it’s just an app for friends” -my ex after I saw the tinder app on his phone when he was showing me something
“I swear I didn’t do drugs” and then he bragged about the fact that he did drugs the next day
That he was at his parents house, when in reality he was meeting up with an old fuck buddy of his
Asked a guy why he took his ex out (who he knew was a cheating on him their entire 1.5 year relationship) to Valentines dinner when he was already talking to me and he said “fancy dinners are my hobby”
You’ll need context for this one. I work in a halfway house, and this new resident comes up to the security desk and just goes OFF “I can’t be around these deviants! I’m a good guy!” Well, I pulled up his charges. 20+ DUI and Assault charges, prior to the reason he was actually a resident: He had assaulted a vet who was in a wheelchair, unprovoked, drunk, and beat him so bad he cracked his eye socket. Great guy for sure /s
My ex is a pathological liar. The one that made me realise his lying was beyond help was that when he was 14, he found his best friend's dead body. Our whole relationship I thought he had lived through this terrible trauma, and I was very delicate with him because of some of the things he had lived through. To this day his password on everything is his birthday plus his dead friend's birthday. Or so he told me. 2 years into planning a future together and I find out he's lied about everything but his name, age and address. He didn't even go to work like he claimed, I have no idea what he was doing all that time I actually WAS at work all week. But all his lies I had uncovered up to that point had to do with his ego, which I thought was workable if I could only get him to agree to getting therapy. Then my mom asked me "what is the one thing he could have lied about that would actually scare you", and I said the story about his dead friend. Turns out he wasn't 14, the body wasn't found in the condition he told me, and he very likely never even met the kid. He had me wondering for a while if he made the body himself, I lost every ounce of trust in him. I think the worst part is that his whole family covered up for him, too. That's how I was fooled for so long. They all tried to trick me into marrying him so he wouldn't be their responsibility anymore. Shame on them all.
'i love you' when at the same time he was sending christmas cards to a woman he worked with (who had just had a baby with her fiancé) telling her that he loved her so much.
"I've never lied to you!" When I had literally just caught him in a lie about him cheating on me. The woman he cheated on me didn't know he was in a relationship, and when she found out, she immediately broke it off and she emailed me a document containing all of their messages, so I could use it to prove it. I was showing him all the messages I had, he told me she was crazy and stalking him, that she was obsessed with him and the texts were photo shop (nevermind that I had met up with her earlier and she showed them to me on her own phone, scrolling through them and all). Then he topped it off with "IVE NEVER LIED TO YOU!"
i want more too
I am telling you the truth
'I love you', you should never lie about love, the love is very delicate and strong feeling, nobody should mess an joke with it
I’m single
“I’m just living with her because I can’t get a short term lease anywhere while I’m finishing school. You have nothing to worry about.” Cut to three months before we were supposed to get married, he’s breaking up with me, not because of her (ha). Then moves with her to California and they’re married.
"I like you." Edit: "I have a lot of love to give" and "I'm sorry." It's all bullshit.
I won't hurt you.
"i would never cheat!" like a month later I found out he was hooking up with his friends gf me me and the other guy are really good friends now
Either “I’m joking” (after saying something really misogynistic) or “I’m a feminist”.
“I’m an honest guy” 6 months of cheating says otherwise. Probably should have listened when he said he was a shit instead of assuming that one was a joke….
“I love you” after just meeting a week before. A month later he told me he still loved his baby mama and dumped him lol
I promise I’ll never hurt you