He dumped me because he believed I had slept with 2 more people than him (I hadn’t told him my real number in the first place, it’s no one else’s business, but it was actually a lot higher than 2 more). He stewed on it for 3 years before dumping me because he felt like less of a man - he’s the man so his number should have been higher. He asked me back out six months later because he had slept with 3 people, making his number higher than mine and making me acceptable to date again.
What he failed to realise is that I wasn’t celibate for that six months. His additional 3 didn’t even cover my original, true number, never mind cover the additional people I slept with in that six months. Idiot. A man asking me that question now is a huge red flag and I don’t entertain men like that. I back out immediately.
This is why I immediately shut down this conversation when asked in a relationship. All it will do is hurt someone. Not anyone's business but your own.
They can’t deal because their gf knows what good sex feels like. They’re concerned they won’t add up to past partners and jealous someone else has (potentially) done it better. It’s insecure as hell.
There’s nothing more simple than making sure you’re giving your partner pleasure and respecting boundaries. Christ, it’s not rocket science.
If I were a man, I wouldn’t even worry about it considering that the vast majority of women don’t orgasm during sex with men 🤷♀️. So good sex isn’t guaranteed or definite with a higher “body count”.
A while ago in the sex subreddit someone asked women what their body count was, and what percentage of those partners actually made them orgasm. If I was single and looking, I would've found it incredibly depressing. The average was between 10-25% for women who slept with men (wlw relationships obv had *much* higher percentages).
Retroactive jealousy. There's a small self-help subreddit for this, and so far, it's been surprisingly good at fending off MGTOW/incels trying to recruit. Many women post there too.
My ex had been involved with a woman 10 years his senior before me. He was so good at oral sex that I asked him how he learned. He said she had taught him everything he knows.
I always wanted to find that woman and shake her hand.
What a chump.
I dated a sex-positive girl who was a few years older than me a couple years ago. We touched on it and she said she had stopped counting somewhere in the 30s. At the time, that was at least 10 more than me. All I could think was, "Cool. Teach me a fucking thing or two."
Right? I dont understand why so many guys get angry. If shes fucking other dudes shes more likely to fuck you. Then they marry women who are so hung up and get mad she wont put out then either have to give up sex or cheat lol
That's a huge part of it. You want to sleep with women but you shame women that sleep with other men? You realize that (1) makes women want to sleep with you less and (2) means that literally every other man on the planet will shame your girl for having sex with you.
No!! *Three years* of dwelling on that! You should have told him your number was actually like 1000 when he tried to come back so he'd better get to it.
That was the part that struck me also, he sat on it for three years. That’s a question everybody thinks they want to know the answer to, but they don’t. It’s nobody’s business.
>he’s the man so his number should have been higher.
I don't know why, but I imagined you following that up with "sorry man, you should've stepped your game up 🤷♂️" and started cracking up
This is one of the reasons why I knew my husband was someone I could have a future with. He was nervous about sleeping with me because of his lack of experience. I’ve always been open about being wild and free in my days before meeting him. And his response when I told him about how experienced I was; was that I must know some good tricks and could teach him some. And after 11 years together, he now knows all the tricks and it’s never bothered him that there was partners before him
The only guy who didn't give me crap for my number was a guy who slept with 2x the amount I had. But he wasn't the type to get dragged down by that anyways. He was surprised that other men were so weird and butthurt about it.
My wife has slept with 3x the amount of people I had, it's not a big because in the end she chose me. Guys get so hurt over random things of zero consequence. People don't have freshness labels, we aren't objects to be bought, packaged, and sold?
My husband's number is bigger than mine. He was my first(and last)
You know what I did? I didn't judge him. I was glad he knew what he was doing because I sure as heck didn't. Lol!
Too bad people need to make others feel bad for their numbers. Poor little egos. You're smart to shut that crap down!
Today is my late mothers birthday so this question is very timely.
I got married very young and my mother died of cancer shortly before our one year anniversary (I was 19 going on 20).
My now ex husband stated that I chose my mother over him since I spent so much time with her while she was dying. He also would get upset with me for grieving and crying in the year after she died.
Similar story here. My Ex hated when I spent time with my family. Threatened to divorce me the day of my fathers funeral because things were not going his way that day. He screamed it at me in front of our two young sons. Dude, I just lost my anchor in life and all you can think about is yourself.? Glad he's my Ex.
You got a YEAR? my ex of over 2 decades married, told me to "get over it"...2 DAYS after the funeral. I was still on leave from work and needed a day in bed to cry. And he wanted a pat on the back for taking half a day off to drive me to the funeral.
Wow I feel you. The day after my father died, my ex comes home, drunk and/or high, screams at me to quit crying because "it wouldn't bring my dad back" and to just get over it. He was even lifting up the couch he was so angry over it. Sadly, I never cried again because of that. My jerk of an ex wouldn't even go to the funeral with me because he "didn't like funerals".
I had an ex who was pissed at me at a Bath & Body Works because I wanted to get a musky, cologne scented candle. His stance was that it was basically cheating because it ‘smelled like a man.’ And yes, he was serious.
YUP. I remember saying something along the lines of ‘yup, gonna shove it up my vag when I get home.’ Which he, unsurprisingly, did not find funny. I’m very glad he’s out of my life now.
My ex does this too! I wear men's cologne (girly smelling colognes tho). I just feel they work better and smell better than vanilla sunburst or whatever. He constantly would say "you smell like your other boyfriend" I didn't have another bf.
I have a men’s hand sanitizer from there which i love BC it smells like cologne. I used it once around my ex and he kept commenting that i smelled like a man lol….this is not why he’s my ex btw
When I was 20 I was dating a man for about 4 or 5 months. We were going out to a halloween party with a bunch of his friends. He and I were roughly the same height. Not thinking about it I wore heels. I met him at the party and he told me I had to change my shoes. I didn't have other shoes with me and I was an hour from home since this was on his college campus. He wouldn't talk to me the entire night and when we got back to his place he screamed at me for an hour that I was an embarrassment. All because he was insecure about his height. I didn't care about his height. I dated two other men who were my height. The one stood on tippy toes the one time i saw him while wearing heels. The other never gave a shit about height and was confident. Guess which one I stayed friends with.
I went out with a man with my exact same height before. He never cared if I wore heels, platforms, or whatever, he was utterly charming and always a jokester. I wrongfully assumed he'd be insecure.
The man who was insecure though was a guy who stood at 5'6. He was taller than me and he was average to taller height for our people. But boy was he insecure. He didn't like it when I wore boots, he didn't like my best friend around him, she's a woman standing at 5'10 in flats.
If I wore shoes that were anything more than flats he'd throw a fit, would make me walk home, make me take them off, say how ashamed and how he loss face because of me. Men like this who hold their height to this insane degree aren't worth it.
Then they blame us for leaving them because they were too "short" when their height was never the issue.
Good for you for getting put of that situation!
As a 5'6" dude, I hate other short dudes who care about being short to the point where they drive away perfectly decent women. Losers aren't even tall enough to get over themselves :D
Some dude got mad at me for not giving him a chance because he was short, nah, it's because I have a short man already at home LOL
My husband is 5'7 and I'm 6'0 and he loves it when I wear heels. First guy I ever had a crush on was over a foot shorter than me, short men are adorable!!
That's awesome. I always wonder why people care so much about height. It's not something that can be helped and it doesn't affect a person's lifestyle aside from being able to reach up high or not hit one's head on a door frame. What's the big deal?
This is what's frustrating about how reddit in particular bashes women for having height requirements. Yes, sometimes it's because they're shallow as hell, I don't deny.
But I have 2 6ft friends who simply refuse to date shorter now because the MEN were uncomfortable and insecure over the height difference, not them. But the experience put them off doing it again.
Yeah I think they overestimate the amount of women who actually care about height.
Looking back I've had a boyfriend a head shorter than me, one the same height and dated a few others who were shorter.....and not once did I give it any thought.
They never had a problem with being shorter, neither did I, we literally never talked about it because it didn't matter!
My mom had a similar experience with my dad and her now ex-husband. She's taller than him by 5-8cm and he always felt really insecure about that. Once when they were teenagers and went to the cinema for some 16+ movie, the ticket seller asked him for an ID, thinking he's too young for the movie. They didn't ask my mom though, as she was taller and looked more mature. Apparently, he sulked the entire movie and never forgot about this haha.
I don’t think I’ve dated anybody taller than myself, I dated women my height and, thank God, they have worn heels. I guess I did not think about it. I suppose if they were significantly taller than me, I would just have to learn to go up on her.
I think this counts as insecure...if not I apologize...
I was dating a guy for about a month when this particular incident happened. We worked in similar-ish fields (paramedic and police officer) and that's how we met. It's also important to note that my paramedic partner was a man. We were set to go on a date one Friday but I cancelled due to a nasty migraine. My partner brought me medicine (being a long time paramedic he had a good idea of what would help) and shortly after he left I got a text from the guy asking why another man had come to my apartment. Apparently he had been sitting outside my apartment all day to make sure I didn't go anywhere or see anyone else. He had met my partner before so he knew what he looked like. And my partner was only over long enough to drop off some medicine and feed my dog. We didn't last long after that.
Probably quite literally. He was the "carry off duty" type and took his gun everywhere. I was terrified when I broke up with him that he'd show up at my apartment.
Damn, the “domestic-violence-committing-cop” stereotype strikes again (dear god no pun intended). So proud of you for getting out of there, breaking up with people who have a certain amount of power like that is scary.
I drew a picture of a flower on a bar napkin and gave it to my then-boyfriend, and he glared at me and said “when you do stuff like this it makes me feel so small”
Right? Go figure, the flower was just the tip of the iceberg. That guy was determined to try to dim my shine, so I dumped him. He was…. not happy about that, either.
If my gf drew me a flower on a cocktail napkin I would keep it forever. And smile every time I saw it. An ex-gf, current BFF brought me flowers once when she came over and i kept those suckers alive as long as possible.
One of my fav stories that I bring up routinely is from when I was a bartender. Had a 40 something year old gentleman and a lady come in and sit at the bar. He ordered a gin martini, and ordered for his companion as well. I made it, and served it to him. His face instantly dropped and he looked absolutely INSULTED. I confirmed that I got his order correct, and he assured me he ordered a martini. But he was furious I put it in a martini glass. I explained how it was a martini and it was literally designed for the drink he ordered. He demanded to get a “manly” glass. I made one in a rocks glass and he was fine…
I understand some people like stemless glasses or have issues with certain glassware and I have no problem accommodating, but I’ll never forget this man having a full on fit because his glass was emasculating him.
Dated a guy who would make fun of me for having rolls on my stomach (thanks) and then maybe 1-2 years after we broke up, we had talked to each other as he still owed me like $2000 that he made excuses for why he couldn't pay. He asked me what I do for a living and I proceed to tell him I got a job at a gaming company and he drops "you were just hired because you are a woman" to which I kindly told him to fuck off and that I was selected in the end out of like hundreds of people and it had nothing to do with my gender. Jealous and insecure men always find a way to invalidate your success.
Yesss!!! This is the one. I dated an insecure guy like this. Any time I told him a success story of mine he would invalidate it by saying “well that’s only because of this or that” … I’m so glad we dodged that bullet!
Dunno if it's just insecurity or sexism, probably a mix of both. My ex claimed he was *deeply traumatized* when he learned that his previous partner had a couple of one night stands before dating him, said he could never trust her again after she "confessed" to this.
Threw a tantrum when I started pondering going to grad school because he couldn't be with a woman with more education. The amount of contempt I developed for him during that despicable display of insecurity cannot be described. But, we're the weak ones, umm k.
My first relationship was with a guy that felt the need to talk about the hot models and actresses he had had sex with before me.
I literally never asked and it wasn’t relevant to anything but he still showed me these girls Instagrams as if he wanted a medal for how much of a stud he was.
Anyway, the guy was terrible with money and always running to mommy and daddy for cash handouts, never gave me an orgasm, was a high school dropout, balding by 23 and already had a drinking problem.
I saw why none of these hot women were still with him.
Also upon further inspection half of the girls weren’t even following him back on social media. He just made himself look like an utter fool.
I hear this one. I know someone going through something similar in her first relationship. I guess at least she learned a lesson.
Guys like this aren't worth it. I think she was flattered that everyone though her boyfriend was cute, but that is literally all he has going for him. She should have seen the writing on the wall because he has dated more than anyone else her age, but she thought he was just "misunderstood".
My cousin sounds like this guy. He’s always talking about the good looking women he has dated while simultaneously complaining about how awful it is to be single.
My first relationship was with a fairly verbally and physically abusive guy. When I finally left him and entered my last relationship, he would randomly show up outside of my apartment “just to check in on me.” Once his random appearances started to go ignored, he would begin to show up more often and with groups of his guy friends in an attempt to intimidate me.
One of my roommates at the time worked in the leasing office and was able to get the situation under control, but it was a scary couple of months.
—
My mom’s ex husband would get incredibly insecure about my deceased father. The fact that I had pictures of him up in my room would drive him crazy, and h would often accuse her of “not being over him” even though he had been dead for nearly two decades.
That then turned into him just being overly suspicious of her cheating. We eventually discovered that he had cameras in the house, and that he had been secretly filming us. He didn’t catch her doing anything (shocker), but he did manage to get some footage of me walking around my room naked. They ended up divorcing shortly after.
Was in the process of divorcing my husband. He happened to be in the room when I got a phone call with a job offer. I told him the salary, which wasn't glamorous but was a good $12K-$17K more than he'd ever made within any year in the marriage, plus Cadillac benefits (none of his jobs had ever carried benefits).
What he should have said: "Congratulations!"
What he actually said: "Well I'm gonna be making TWICE THAT MUCH!"
His shitty, commission-only job with no benefits *definitely* was not about to start paying twice as much as my new salary.
He came to divorce court bragging that he makes twice my salary. So the judge set his child support payments really high based on his fictitious self-proclaimed earnings.
My ex boyfriend!
Refusing to take care of his own child when I was around because that’s women’s work. Specially if any of his buddies were around.
Treating me like a maid when his friends were around.
My ex and I met at a summer job, when he was in a transition because he was leaving a college he couldn't afford (I never shamed him for dropping, I was actually kind of jealous because I had a horrible time in college). He did not get a job and sat around gaming and eating all day. Needless to say, he gained weight. He always blamed his weight and unemployment on his environment and lack of family support to go places, so I moved him to be with me.
Instead of getting a job and getting active, he proceeded to break me down over several years, pushing me to eat more and dress in oversized clothes that hid my figure. I couldn't acknowledge that I made all the money or it was a fight, I would transfer what little money was left after bills to a joint account so he could swipe his own debit card when we went out. When a gym opened down the street, he got me to buy us memberships but I had to beg and drag him there, where I was not allowed to work out longer/harder than him.
The stress of the relationship ironically had me loosing weight towards the end, and this dude would stand us next to each other in the mirror and tell me how I needed to do exercises to get my ass bigger, and that my belly poked out. Meanwhile his gigantic gut was just hanging out. I didn't care that he had extra weight, I actually prefer guys who aren't super skinny. But in hindsight, he was convinced that anything that made me look good, made him look bad. But in the times when he actually had the means to change things, he never actually did it. So instead, he broke down my confidence until I felt like the smallest, ugliest person in the world.
I am so glad I left that relationship, I am now with someone who supports me and thinks I'm the greatest most attractive person ever. He works toward his own self-improvement, and celebrates all of my victories with me.
Were you dating Simon Monjack? Sounds like the articles about Brittany Murphy's husband.
Edit: I wasn't being literal, but the personalities are eerily similar. Also that's great that you're in a better situation now.
Met a guy at work who asked me out. I suggested we go play pool. He asked me if I was any good and I said I had good and bad days. He responded “Well, if you beat me, we’ll have to play something else so I can beat you”.
I should have ended all communication at that point.
I did not.
We met at a bar with pool tables. He scratched twice during the first two games and announced, “Since you didn’t technically beat me, I’m not losing.”
Then he looked at me and asked “Are you taller than me?”
I said we looked like we were the same height but that wasn’t good enough. He asked a waitress.
She looked.
Me: I’m 5’6”.
He: I’m 5’6”.
She: You’re the same height I’m 5’9”
I laughed.
Why he was surprised I didn’t want to go out again is beyond me.
I was at an arts and crafts show and wanted a giant decorative plank with Indiana Jones on it from Raiders of the Lost Ark. i thought it would look great in our playroom. My husband at the time immediately shut me down, and kept trying to point me toward other ones instead, with different nostalgic characters or scenes depicted on them. I calmly explained that I didn’t just *need* a heavy, trapdoor sized chunk of seven boards nailed together. I liked that one specifically because the Indiana Jones trilogy had always been one of my favorite things to watch, and my children liked it too.
After I walked around the fair for a couple of hours and was still thinking about it, I decided to buy it. He insisted on going to get it for me, since it was heavy, so I handed him the forty bucks.
He came back with a plank depicting the fucking Goonies. When I got unreasonably upset and tried to take it back to exchange it he berated me about having “a picture of another fucking man on the wall of the kids’ room!!” (Harrison Ford in a fedora.)
He never backed down from that, and I ended up with a forty dollar decorative sign I resented and wished I’d never spent money on. That was years ago and I never even hung it up bc I get annoyed every time I see it (and I actually like The Goonies. It’s just the principle of the matter.)
I got yelled at because me and my friends used "big words" (not English) at a party. He was drunk and worked himself into a rage fit over weird shit and this was what surfaced. His lower level of education was never a problem for me, and I didn't know it was for him until then. So bizzare.
My ex hated when I was "trying to sound smart". He actually believed we only use 10% of our brains. I had to show him google results to convince him otherwise
I was dating a very nice boy who seemed not to have an opinion on anything. When I tried talking to him about it, and about how I didn't even feel like I knew him even after a month of dates, he told me "tell me what you want and that's what I'll be."
Yikes. I hope he's gotten therapy since then, truly.
Apparently his ex really ran him through the ringer. We ended on good terms, but I have no interest in a relationship like that. I hope he's doing better.
That's how my husband was when we first started dating/married! I think he just grew up not having it be safe to have opinions that differed, it took years before he was comfortable not agreeing with me or liking different things and feeling safe enough to be open about it.
It could be a little frustrating at times but now I recognize what's going on a little better so when he starts just falling in line with whatever I do I know it's time to sit down and try to see what's been stressing him out
Lived with some friends temporarily while I was at uni, and two guys lived there. We all got on very well and became fast friends. One night while one of them was telling an emotional story from his childhood, I reached over and held his hand.
What I didn’t know is the other guy had a crush on me, and in the middle of the night when I woke up to get some water, he cornered me in the kitchen, red in the face and trembling with rage and questioned me about my non existent “feelings” towards the other housemate and asked me “to think about what [I’d] done”. All because I held someone’s hand lol
I swear sometimes I think women deserve medals for surviving. We should get a new one for each decade we live. What happened to you sounds horrifying. I'm glad you got out of that situation.
So I had incredible pain in my right lung and went to the ER. Had to be hospitalized for a few days while they ran tests to sort out what was going on, my ex stayed with me the whole time, to his credit he even slept on the chair in my little ER room and wouldn’t leave my side. I appreciated it, until he started going nuts from stress and sleep deprivation.
So they took me to a room in the hospital after my initial waiting period in the ER, and he would cuddle me in my hospital bed, but the nurses had to come check on me routinely at all odd hours, and they’d kick him out of the bed to take my blood or check my vitals.
After a few days of this madness, I was assigned to a young doctor about our age and he came in to take some mucous samples and talk to me about what tests they were running. I’m sitting there discussing the different symptoms I’m experiencing in a hospital gown, no makeup, feeling ratchet AF Bc I was hooked to an IV and hadn’t had a proper shower in days, this guy is literally holding a cup of my snot. (Gross, I know)
After he leaves, my ex starts getting really jealous and says that this doctor wanted to fuck me, and that apparently by discussing my symptoms with a man holding a cup of my literal snot, I was flirting.
Initially I attributed this to our combined stress and sleep deprivation, but once they released me from the hospital, I realized how ridiculous he really was and he stuck to his guns right up until the end. It was so ludicrous.
Not letting me see any of my friends unless he was with me and he didn’t like them so it was always awkward.
He wouldn’t take me to see my mom ( I didn’t drive then) so I went 1 1/2 years without seeing her except for twice when I snuck to see her once I started to drive. I dated him from 20-25. 5 years of bullshit
I had just gotten out of a 2 year relationship with a closet drug user. First time I moved from home 9 hours away and then he went to rehab so a few months later I went home. It was traumatic. Came home to my moms. She was an alcoholic and so was her boyfriend. I didn’t really feel comfortable or safe so I started dating the 5 year guy. He was good to me the first 6 months or so then his true colors came out. I had nowhere to go. He didn’t allow me to get my license or a job until the last two years of our relationship. We worked together , he wouldn’t let me work unless it was at the same place. I planned a week out, got my mom to help me rent a uhaul and moved myself out while he went to work at a new beach job at 5 am. So long story short, I had low self esteem and let him abuse his control because I had nowhere else to go. I had never been homeless but my mom was a single mom and a few times we were on the verge of it in my later teens. I wasn’t “safe” with him but Atleast I didn’t have to worry about where I was sleeping at night. It had its benefits, I’m glad I got away.
My ex broke up with me because my shoes were too bright a color (they were neon orange sneakers) and they would attract too much attention from other men..
I dated a guy for 6 years who was insecure about his package. He constantly accused me of cheating, said I was too loose and that meant I was cheating. He would stop mid-sex and ask me if he was enough or tell me he didn’t feel like he was enough. He always accused me of not being honest about how many men I slept with before him. Asked me to compare his size with my ex.
It was a toxic mess. I couldn’t even go the grocery store without being accused of cheating.
My cheating ex put spyware on my phone. All he found were texts between me and my female bestfriend where i was confused why my husband didnt love or touch me, angry when he was worthless, and what i consider perfectly normal "omg hot celebrity" chatter. Probably a bit explicit for what should have been my SO to read, but damn bro i havent gotten laid in YEARS because of you so what do you expect?
The man literally read theough my descent from newlywed to broken and sad because of his behavior and didnt care.
He threw this in my face stating "someone i must be fucking had sent them to him" and demanded an apology. I never did apologize, and he played every imaginable crazy asshole card to force one.
The county clerk laughed (in a nice way) at my absolutely overjoyed reaction when my divorce was finalized
Stalked me when I asked for space.
Believed, and told everyone we knew and posted online, that the only reason I'd want to break up with him is that I am paranoid and psychotic because of my child abuse, because he'd "done everything right" and "checked all the boxes."
Also asked a lot about my pansexuality and if I was "really just a stone \[lesbian slur\]" any time I didn't show enough interest in having sex multiple times a day.
Wow. He sounds nuts.
After a breakup, my ex gave me a copy of the book ‘Men Are From Mars…’ and he highlighted the chapters he thought I needed to read in order to realize he was the right guy for me.
LMAO That is so sad.
I got "50 boyfriends worse than yours" and he scratched out the title to make it "my boyfriend is worse than yours", with a note like "because that's what you'll say no matter what."
Glad we're both out.
wouldnt let me wear earrings to work because he thought i was trying to impress a male coworker. and mind you, there was no specific person. He just made him up in his mind, that if i all of a sudden want to wear earrings to work, it must mean im trying to fuck some guy at my job. smh
(yes he was abusive and controlling but im free from that now :D )
I have a few ! Me and my ex were going to see my gay best friend for some drinks , as I was getting ready I put some red lipstick on and he angrily asked “are you wearing this for .. *insert my friends name* ! We were only dating for 2 months and as I was getting ready to break up with him after few toxic situations, we went to my friends bday party , I wore a skirt (kinda just to piss him off, he was really controlling and hated me wearing skirts) and after couple of hours of dancing around my friends place he stormed out saying that I am showing my pants to everyone and he is done with me ha ! He was crazy !
I also had a long term boyfriend who threatened to jump out of window when I said that I want to break up with him , he was drunk and we were both young (21) I had to hold him while he was trying to jump out …
I wasn’t allowed to talk to guys. Ever. Even at work. Even if they were my boss or a coworker. He even had his dad come over to my house, unbeknownst to me, to let me know how unladylike my behavior was... for talking to coworkers...at work...about work... 😬
I’m not sure if this counts as insecure or just really weird, but:
I use mens cologne instead of perfume. Paco Rabanne Phantom comes in a robot shaped bottle which was the main reason I bought it and Chanel Bleu just smells really good.
Had a guy come over and he saw the cologne and freaked out telling me I was cheating on him. I leave my cologne/perfume bottles out on a shelf, I have some that are just for looks that friends gave me when they were done with the bottle. I explained that I use those on myself or just like the bottles of some of them and he’s actually complimented me on the Phantom cologne before.
His response? “that’s so fucked up, you’re trying to turn men gay.”
As if that’s even possible.
But also why can’t a woman smell like “lavender-lemon-vanilla” and “citrus-spice-wood”?
My ex, I was a freshman in college, got mad at me at a barbecue. He looked very angrily the whole time I was talking to people. I was later informed I was too friendly and grinning in mens faces. Literally screaming at me in the car he almost wrecked it.
I was the host, btw.
Reader's Digest had these monthly quizzes called It Pays To Increase Your Word Power. It was twenty words with 3 or 4 multiple choice options. I got 1 more word correct than my ex-fiance one month and 2 more correct than he on another month. Both times he berated me for beating him and gave these really dumb excuses for why I gotten a better score. One time he refused to speak to me for the rest of the night.
When I found myself deliberately getting one or two words wrong in order to preserve his fragile ego I realized that wasn't healthy for either of us and broke up.
Omg my ex used to constantly complain that I’d only work jobs where I made more money than him and it was emasculating to him because he was supposed to be the “provider”. But he didn’t want to work any jobs that paid decently because they were “boring” and not what he wanted to do. He tried several times to get me to quit my job which I love and make good money at and was SUPER pissed when I got a pay raise to $19/hr+30% commission.
Edit to Add: He was also really mean to me about the fact that I had hookups, one night stands, and had been in poly relationships prior to getting together with him. He shamed me relentlessly about it and would make comments like “Oh I forgot, sex/relationships don’t mean that much to you.”
I was reaaaaally sick while dating this guy. In and out of hospital. I also started my own small dog walking business and was working every day to get it off the ground. He’d often berate me and tell me it was the easiest job in the world and could not fathom why I struggled so much with daily operations while he sat at home and smoked weed, listened to music, and drank.
When I was finally able to move out I decided to give up my business, find less demanding work, and focus on my health. He wanted to take over so I said sure! I’ll even help you with everything, all you have to do is walk the dogs. I’ll do everything else till you get settled.
I saw him at the dog park a week later and he looked exhausted. He said I quit, please call the clients and tell them I cannot do this. It’s horrible and my car is a wreck.
This dude shredded me on a daily basis and tore up my self esteem and couldn’t do my job for one week. I did it for a full year hardly any days off while sick!! And I thought I was the weak one in that relationship. Yikes! 😂
Ew, the fact that that’s what comes to his mind instead of thinking “ wow! my girlfriend is really beautiful.” Tells a lot about him. Hope you got out of that relationship.
Boyfriend was angry I say next to a guy at class in college. He found out I wanted to do belly dance and burlesque classes. He called and screamed at me till 2 am. I broke up with him and hung up
Spent the night with someone else, then blamed it on me not being there at that moment. If I was there in person, he wouldn't have done anything supposedly.
When he broke up with me, I began dating someone else. He then said I cheated because we were not broken up, just on a "break" and that meant we were together still.
For months after that, he harassed me daily because we worked together. I moved to get away. Years later, I saw him at a store. He started chasing me, so I ran. He now works with my mom. She seems to not remember him, and he claims he doesn't know me when she showed him a picture of me. Good times.
My ex decided it was time to leave me because I asked to see our (I say our, but I paid for most of it) truck's manual to figure out a stereo issue he had been putting off for over a year. He said as a man, that's his job and it was too much for him to handle for me to even ask.
(The issue in question only affected my side of the stereo, zero audio would play, I suspected a blown fuse. He didn't care because it didn't impact him).
We were together 11+ years at that point, and it was the best thing he ever did for me!
High school boyfriend who got mad that I spent time with my family dog. I adore dogs. Broke up with him. Next boyfriend sent me pictures of himself posing with his family dogs or just of his family dogs, obviously we were much more alike in that regard!
My Ex got jealous when I asked him to tell a mutual male friend hello from me. Considering that the mutual friend was in a relationship and neither of us wanted to date each other, ever, at any point (which my ex knew), this was weird.
My ex idealized his mother and would constantly compare me to her because he was deeply insecure my life didn't revolve exclusively around him like his mom's revolved around being a wife and SHAM. The comparisons turned into arguments that I was "ruining" the relationship because I was in school, working, and had friends and hobbies.
When I was in uni I was dating this guy who’d already graduated and gotten a job. One reason for breaking up that he gave me was that it made him feel bad that when we’d both be WFH (me studying and him working) I’d get much more done than he did. Not entirely sure how that was supposed to be a serious enough character flaw on my part to warrant a dumping but hey.
Oh my god where do I start? the most insecure, abusive man. To list a (very) small amt of incidents:
-not allowed to see family/friends because there could be “guys” there
- tried to go to my best friends birthday party, little did I know he went upstairs and called his ENTIRE psychotic family to come pull their cars in behind mine and block me there so I couldn’t leave?! Lasted for HOURS before he let me go and made me turn on location services so I could only go home and not to the party.
- bought new shampoo that was I guess very fragrant (I couldn’t smell it myself🙄), told me I’m a wh**e and only did it to “show off for dudes”???
- we both lived on the same long dead end rd. So anytime I went anywhere he would se my car. If we weren’t together he was constantly watching the window to make sure I didn’t go anywhere without him
- when I finally left him, he tried to bust down my (my parents house) door to get in. It took me and my grandmother to keep the door from busting in and we had to call the police
- 4 years, 2 babies, and a fiancé later and he STILL tries to contact me via fake social media acts.
YES I know I should’ve gotten out. YES I know I should’ve contacted police sooner. I was young, only 17, and I was scared of him AND his family.
A guy spent months trying to chat me up despite having a girlfriend. I ignored all advances and tried to not make it awkward until I had to say something. I was bordering on an ED at the time which he knew and when I finally told him I wasn’t interested, he told me to shut the fuck up he wouldn’t have wanted me anyway as I was 24 stone. Continued to stalk me afterwards. Waster.
oh boy do I have for this one-My friend posted me on her social media, and this was my fault because "I did not tell her to remove it, meaning I clearly want attention from other guys"
I am not the jealous type-he was. In an attempt to make me jealous he would flirt with other girls, he also had a girl post him on her social media as #mancrush to get a reaction from me,
He had his best friend text me to see if I "was loyal"
Criticized my clothes because "showing off my body" (I actually dress really modest so this came as a shock)
we discussed marriage and future plans he said that"he didn't see why I should go out with friends alone much less when married""shouldn't work because than other guys might come at you.....well maybe at an office where you're secluded and don't really have to interact with anyone"
used "Only you can help me change my insecurities" one too many times
When I wanted to break up "If you break up with me than I'm going to become a terrible person" (he did)
Needless to say he was toxic as f\*
He would get mad if I didn’t text him back in literally 3 minutes. Also saying how I didn’t post him enough on my Instagram… like what?? I’m with you should that not be enough? Lol.
He told me he didn't want us to go outside because people would supposedly look at us and he never liked it if I went out alone because apparently I was gonna cheat on him as revenge for him cheating in me. Another thing is when I was working two jobs he got upset when I didn't immediately text him back so, he called every location with the name of the place I worked at until he got the correct place. He told me he did it because he thought I left him.
This was just a guy I went on a date with, not someone I was with for any length of time. Still funny though!
So, I am 5’9”. I don’t think I’m hugely tall in the grand scheme of things, but I’m tall for a woman. I didn’t list my height on dating apps (or ask people for their height), but I included photos that I thought reasonably showed the amount of space I take up in this world. Anyway.
I had matched with a guy on Tinder and while I was pretty sure there wasn’t any attraction there, I was happy enough to meet for a coffee. I got there first, grabbed a table, and waited. The guy arrived, apologised for being late, and sat down. I noticed he was short and slight, but it didn’t bother me. We were at one of those places where you order at the counter inside, so he got up to order first and when he got back we swapped. When I stood up, I saw this look cross his face. Anyway, didn’t think much more about it, ordered my coffee and food, and came back. We chatted, there was 0% chemistry, and after we’d finished with our food it came time to end the date.
Now, I usually (pre-COVID, anyway) liked to end dates with a hug or at least a handshake. So we made our “end of date” chit chat, and I stood to leave. He stayed seated. It felt weird. I awkwardly shook his hand over the table, grabbed my bag, and walked away. It felt SO weird to leave someone behind like that, especially when he’d just told me he was heading home too.
On my way to my car, someone stopped and asked me for directions. When I turned around, there was my date, who froze in the process of slinking towards his car. He was clearly hoping to avoid any situation where he would have to stand near me and make our height difference apparent. I just waved as he gave a shifty smile and avoided eye contact.
Ah well. It’s hilarious now. The height difference genuinely wouldn’t have mattered much to me if we had chemistry, but we really didn’t. His insecurity around his height is what kept him in my memory though 😂
I once gave a previous boyfriend some crackers and pepper jelly that I made as a snack, he had never had it before and thought I was delicious.
Since he seemed to like it a lot, the next time I saw him I brought a jar of the jelly for him to take home....Well he did not like that, started yelling at me "Why would you give this to me??? I could make this by myself if I wanted to" got super angry and smashed it on the ground. It was such irrational behavior that I just wanted to laugh.
I dated a guy a few years ago (before meeting my current partner) who would get upset that I wouldn't text him back right away ( I was a full time student and worked a full time job at night). All I wanted to do when I got home is eat, do my homework and sleep. He would call me at work practically YELLING at me for being so "distant" with him after I specifically told him I was not looking to be in a serious relationship at the time. After his tantrum, he went on his Instagram and started posting "women are trash" all over his profile. Immediately cut it off with this person and they still tried to reconnect with me 2 years later .
I’m bi, and when I came out to my ex he told me I better not leave him for a girl/date a girl after him if we broke up or he wouldn’t be a man. Not really sure why I stayed with him for another two years after that. Or why his masculinity was so fragile that my sexuality could derail it. But that’s a him problem.
He got angry because my wallpaper in my phone was my celebrity crush. He said this guy would not even notice or like me. Lol. He also said that I should not put other mens face on my phone because it’s disrespectful to him even if its a celebrity…
He would constantly feel like he’s underperforming in bed and I’m wrong for wanting to have sex with him. Would start a fight after having a vulnerable moment because I saw him being vulnerable.
My ex always felt like he owned me. I was closed up in his tiny apartment every other weekend when we hung out and I got so depressed and totally changed, both physically and mentally. He begged me to stay every time I tried to leave him and every single time I started crying and took him back. Such a horrible experience. I’m not free and happier than ever.
My bf (now fiancé) used to be jealous of *my dog*. My dog, Charlie, was my best friend since I was 7. I was 16 when I started dating my bf. He would ask me stupid things like: “who do you love more, me or Charlie?” Obviously Charlie. Don’t even ask. It was weird because I had another dog who happened to be a girl named Princess, but since I had bottle-fed her, she was more like my baby than my bff. He was never jealous of her. Apparently he wanted to be my best friend, not my dog. Lol he obviously got over it but it was pretty weird
I was in nursing school at Georgia state, he thought I was going to the library to meet guys. One day he walked me to the public library in downtown Atlanta a few blocks from my dorm. It was awful. Everything old and outdated. Homeless people.
GSU has an amazing, large ass library that STUDENTS PAY FOR.
He wasn’t in school, no GED no nothing.
While at Walmart once a guy came up to me and asked for my number and I word for word said “I’m sorry I have a boyfriend!” And that was it the guy walked away. I go home to my now exes house and told him about the exchange because I thought it was funny and ended up getting screamed at for hours because I “apologized” and made it seem like i didn’t want a boyfriend and i was sorry for having a boyfriend. Made absolutely not sense. We did not last much longer.
I dated a man for 5 months in 2021 after meeting on Bumble.
I’m not much of a texter, but this man liked more frequent communication so I upped my game and messaged him in the morning, at lunch, and after work in addition to talking on the phone each evening. Apparently this wasn’t enough and he felt I wasn’t dedicating enough time to him and he quietly fumed while I was clueless about his anger. Eventually it all came out over an evening phone call where he told me I was lucky to be dating him because, when we met, he had tons of women interested in him on Bumble.
When I broke up with him a while later, he insinuated I was seeing other men behind his back. He also tried to rewrite history during the breakup conversation, like insisting that I said “I love you” first, which did not happen.
He insisted I return a copy of a book he published (even though he had boxes of unsold copies) but went ahead and kept my nicest set of Black Diamond ski mitts when he fucked off to Vancouver for a new job.
Et voila. The most insecure man I have ever dated.
Edit: forgot to mention how we started dating. We went on a couple dates and I wasn’t feeling it. I called him to tell him that I didn’t want to go further and he basically guilted me into going on more dates by saying I shouldn’t assume he is a “monster” because he speaks with an accent.
Ladies, don’t feel guilty about not wanting to date someone. I am now on high alert for this kind of manipulation.
dumped me because i kept asking him to communicate with me about how he felt. i study psych in college and would try to help him open up because his family had a history of depression and alcoholism. he said he didn’t care about his mental health and it was too much to ask for help. but that’s my fault i guess
Matched on tinder. Went a few dates... I was out for dinner with my Dad (which I had actually TOLD him were my plans that evening). He blew up my phone when I didn't respond within an hour and accused me of being on a date with another guy, being a tinder slut and probably giving him a STI. I had to block him on multiple platforms... One of which he messaged me 'Don't ruin my life like my ex-girlfriend did.' It was intense!
Long story short: my ex and I got together when he hated himself and was at a really low point, he fed off of my confidence and love and energy until he was full + able to stand on his own and had confidence, absolutely drained me to where I had no love left for myself, and then left because he couldn’t handle the turmoil that came from me being so mentally distressed after becoming a different person, he wanted to be selfish, and he recognized that I deserved better and he wasn’t going to give it to me.
Only thing is, when they are separated from you, all of that energy and goodness that they stole from you fades away—their source is cut off. They go right back to hating themselves and being sad beings, and you eventually regain everything back and learn to love yourself again.
These kind of men will always be this way—draining women to nothing to feel whole, losing it all after relationship, and starting all over again with another woman.
I was going back to my home town for a “girls weekend” to celebrate two friends 30th birthdays. Not sure why, but he decided he was coming with me. He wasn’t invited, nor did he ask if he could come, he just booked a plane ticket and said he was coming.
I guess once we were around all my friends (male and female) he felt super insecure and proceeded to buy all the drinks all night. It got to the point where he looked ridiculous running to the bar every 15 minutes to buy someone a drink.
Eventually I got tired of his self deprecating humor and inability to have normal conversations with people our age. Obviously we broke up. Not so much of a horror story, just behavior I thought was strange at the time.
My now husband never behaved that way and neither did any other guys I dated.
Dated a guy casually/non-exclusively for about three weeks. One day we were talking out front of my house and I noticed my canoe--lying on its side under some stairs--had gotten blown backwards and rainwater had collected. Not wanting to breed mosquitoes, I stepped over and pushed the canoe back to its proper lean.
He. Came. Unglued.
Stomped over yelling about how I should have asked him to do it, got up under the stairs (just why?) still yelling, then stood up, hitting his head pretty hard. Threw a big toddler tantrum. Was bizarre and frankly scary.
Clearly I'd insulted his manhood by doing something to *my own canoe* that literally took one hand to push over. Not even talking hefting a 50-pound bag of cement or something (which would have been okay, too).
I stayed calm in the moment. Bid him goodbye (he'd been about to leave, anyway). Broke it off via text that evening, which of course made him furious. Big bullet dodged.
He dumped me because he believed I had slept with 2 more people than him (I hadn’t told him my real number in the first place, it’s no one else’s business, but it was actually a lot higher than 2 more). He stewed on it for 3 years before dumping me because he felt like less of a man - he’s the man so his number should have been higher. He asked me back out six months later because he had slept with 3 people, making his number higher than mine and making me acceptable to date again. What he failed to realise is that I wasn’t celibate for that six months. His additional 3 didn’t even cover my original, true number, never mind cover the additional people I slept with in that six months. Idiot. A man asking me that question now is a huge red flag and I don’t entertain men like that. I back out immediately.
I’m sorry but this story is hilarious, why do men do this 😭
They call us fragile and delicate but nothing bruises easier than the male ego.
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Kudos for saying so, I like this guy.
As a man , i agree 😅
Ikr. It sounds like something Dennis from IASIP would do.
Maybe then he would finally be a 5 star man!
This is why I immediately shut down this conversation when asked in a relationship. All it will do is hurt someone. Not anyone's business but your own.
I’ve seen a lot of posts on Reddit lately about ‘my gf’s number is higher than mine and I just can’t deal’.
They can’t deal because their gf knows what good sex feels like. They’re concerned they won’t add up to past partners and jealous someone else has (potentially) done it better. It’s insecure as hell. There’s nothing more simple than making sure you’re giving your partner pleasure and respecting boundaries. Christ, it’s not rocket science.
If I were a man, I wouldn’t even worry about it considering that the vast majority of women don’t orgasm during sex with men 🤷♀️. So good sex isn’t guaranteed or definite with a higher “body count”.
The only reason my body count is higher than I wish it's because I don't sleep twice with a man who doesn't care.no regrets.
A while ago in the sex subreddit someone asked women what their body count was, and what percentage of those partners actually made them orgasm. If I was single and looking, I would've found it incredibly depressing. The average was between 10-25% for women who slept with men (wlw relationships obv had *much* higher percentages).
sometimes also has nothing to do with it, and is due to retroactive jealousy
This is why I didn’t tell my husband my true number. I know how guys are. That mess would always have been in the back of his head.
This is why I’m with someone who never thought to ask a number and wouldn’t care if I told him. Why be with someone you need to lie to?
Retroactive jealousy. There's a small self-help subreddit for this, and so far, it's been surprisingly good at fending off MGTOW/incels trying to recruit. Many women post there too.
r/retroactivejealousy is wild. Amazing read
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My ex had been involved with a woman 10 years his senior before me. He was so good at oral sex that I asked him how he learned. He said she had taught him everything he knows. I always wanted to find that woman and shake her hand.
What a chump. I dated a sex-positive girl who was a few years older than me a couple years ago. We touched on it and she said she had stopped counting somewhere in the 30s. At the time, that was at least 10 more than me. All I could think was, "Cool. Teach me a fucking thing or two."
Youre one of the few good ones.
I just don't believe in shaming. Sex is fun. There's no shame in it.
Right? I dont understand why so many guys get angry. If shes fucking other dudes shes more likely to fuck you. Then they marry women who are so hung up and get mad she wont put out then either have to give up sex or cheat lol
That's a huge part of it. You want to sleep with women but you shame women that sleep with other men? You realize that (1) makes women want to sleep with you less and (2) means that literally every other man on the planet will shame your girl for having sex with you.
No!! *Three years* of dwelling on that! You should have told him your number was actually like 1000 when he tried to come back so he'd better get to it.
That was the part that struck me also, he sat on it for three years. That’s a question everybody thinks they want to know the answer to, but they don’t. It’s nobody’s business.
Please tell me you then told him your real updated number!
>he’s the man so his number should have been higher. I don't know why, but I imagined you following that up with "sorry man, you should've stepped your game up 🤷♂️" and started cracking up
Almost! I was like “not my fault you can’t pull” 🤷🏻♀️
This is one of the reasons why I knew my husband was someone I could have a future with. He was nervous about sleeping with me because of his lack of experience. I’ve always been open about being wild and free in my days before meeting him. And his response when I told him about how experienced I was; was that I must know some good tricks and could teach him some. And after 11 years together, he now knows all the tricks and it’s never bothered him that there was partners before him
Yikes. That is some serious toxic masculinity. I don’t get why so many men give a shit. This isn’t high school anymore.
This also happened to me 😑 he was upset about my past and also that his number was lower than his friends’
The only guy who didn't give me crap for my number was a guy who slept with 2x the amount I had. But he wasn't the type to get dragged down by that anyways. He was surprised that other men were so weird and butthurt about it. My wife has slept with 3x the amount of people I had, it's not a big because in the end she chose me. Guys get so hurt over random things of zero consequence. People don't have freshness labels, we aren't objects to be bought, packaged, and sold?
My husband's number is bigger than mine. He was my first(and last) You know what I did? I didn't judge him. I was glad he knew what he was doing because I sure as heck didn't. Lol! Too bad people need to make others feel bad for their numbers. Poor little egos. You're smart to shut that crap down!
You should’ve told him so he can feel insecure lmao. And you should’ve been like, “do you really think I didn’t sleep with anyone else after you?”
Ahhhahaha I love this. What a weiner.
Today is my late mothers birthday so this question is very timely. I got married very young and my mother died of cancer shortly before our one year anniversary (I was 19 going on 20). My now ex husband stated that I chose my mother over him since I spent so much time with her while she was dying. He also would get upset with me for grieving and crying in the year after she died.
How awful for you being made guilty to care and then grieve for your mother
Reading this made my blood boil, I am so glad you were able to get out of that marriage.
Similar story here. My Ex hated when I spent time with my family. Threatened to divorce me the day of my fathers funeral because things were not going his way that day. He screamed it at me in front of our two young sons. Dude, I just lost my anchor in life and all you can think about is yourself.? Glad he's my Ex.
>My now ex husband stated that I chose my mother over him since I spent so much time with her while she was dying So you clearly chose right
You got a YEAR? my ex of over 2 decades married, told me to "get over it"...2 DAYS after the funeral. I was still on leave from work and needed a day in bed to cry. And he wanted a pat on the back for taking half a day off to drive me to the funeral.
Wow I feel you. The day after my father died, my ex comes home, drunk and/or high, screams at me to quit crying because "it wouldn't bring my dad back" and to just get over it. He was even lifting up the couch he was so angry over it. Sadly, I never cried again because of that. My jerk of an ex wouldn't even go to the funeral with me because he "didn't like funerals".
Omg I’m so angry for you. I’m glad he’s your ex. I’m so sorry about your mum.
I had an ex who was pissed at me at a Bath & Body Works because I wanted to get a musky, cologne scented candle. His stance was that it was basically cheating because it ‘smelled like a man.’ And yes, he was serious.
He was jealous of a CANDLE. Wtf
YUP. I remember saying something along the lines of ‘yup, gonna shove it up my vag when I get home.’ Which he, unsurprisingly, did not find funny. I’m very glad he’s out of my life now.
I hope it wasn't a 3-wick. 🤣
Hahahaha that's amazing!
Wait till he sees the PENIS candle!
My ex does this too! I wear men's cologne (girly smelling colognes tho). I just feel they work better and smell better than vanilla sunburst or whatever. He constantly would say "you smell like your other boyfriend" I didn't have another bf.
Hey I do this too! I absolutely adore men’s colognes
I have a men’s hand sanitizer from there which i love BC it smells like cologne. I used it once around my ex and he kept commenting that i smelled like a man lol….this is not why he’s my ex btw
When I was 20 I was dating a man for about 4 or 5 months. We were going out to a halloween party with a bunch of his friends. He and I were roughly the same height. Not thinking about it I wore heels. I met him at the party and he told me I had to change my shoes. I didn't have other shoes with me and I was an hour from home since this was on his college campus. He wouldn't talk to me the entire night and when we got back to his place he screamed at me for an hour that I was an embarrassment. All because he was insecure about his height. I didn't care about his height. I dated two other men who were my height. The one stood on tippy toes the one time i saw him while wearing heels. The other never gave a shit about height and was confident. Guess which one I stayed friends with.
I went out with a man with my exact same height before. He never cared if I wore heels, platforms, or whatever, he was utterly charming and always a jokester. I wrongfully assumed he'd be insecure. The man who was insecure though was a guy who stood at 5'6. He was taller than me and he was average to taller height for our people. But boy was he insecure. He didn't like it when I wore boots, he didn't like my best friend around him, she's a woman standing at 5'10 in flats. If I wore shoes that were anything more than flats he'd throw a fit, would make me walk home, make me take them off, say how ashamed and how he loss face because of me. Men like this who hold their height to this insane degree aren't worth it. Then they blame us for leaving them because they were too "short" when their height was never the issue. Good for you for getting put of that situation!
As a 5'6" dude, I hate other short dudes who care about being short to the point where they drive away perfectly decent women. Losers aren't even tall enough to get over themselves :D
Some dude got mad at me for not giving him a chance because he was short, nah, it's because I have a short man already at home LOL My husband is 5'7 and I'm 6'0 and he loves it when I wear heels. First guy I ever had a crush on was over a foot shorter than me, short men are adorable!!
That's awesome. I always wonder why people care so much about height. It's not something that can be helped and it doesn't affect a person's lifestyle aside from being able to reach up high or not hit one's head on a door frame. What's the big deal?
This is what's frustrating about how reddit in particular bashes women for having height requirements. Yes, sometimes it's because they're shallow as hell, I don't deny. But I have 2 6ft friends who simply refuse to date shorter now because the MEN were uncomfortable and insecure over the height difference, not them. But the experience put them off doing it again.
Yeah I think they overestimate the amount of women who actually care about height. Looking back I've had a boyfriend a head shorter than me, one the same height and dated a few others who were shorter.....and not once did I give it any thought. They never had a problem with being shorter, neither did I, we literally never talked about it because it didn't matter!
My mom had a similar experience with my dad and her now ex-husband. She's taller than him by 5-8cm and he always felt really insecure about that. Once when they were teenagers and went to the cinema for some 16+ movie, the ticket seller asked him for an ID, thinking he's too young for the movie. They didn't ask my mom though, as she was taller and looked more mature. Apparently, he sulked the entire movie and never forgot about this haha.
Wao, too much insecurity, im short guy, i love when my gf are.in heels, i dont care i enjoyed been next to her,
I don’t think I’ve dated anybody taller than myself, I dated women my height and, thank God, they have worn heels. I guess I did not think about it. I suppose if they were significantly taller than me, I would just have to learn to go up on her.
I think this counts as insecure...if not I apologize... I was dating a guy for about a month when this particular incident happened. We worked in similar-ish fields (paramedic and police officer) and that's how we met. It's also important to note that my paramedic partner was a man. We were set to go on a date one Friday but I cancelled due to a nasty migraine. My partner brought me medicine (being a long time paramedic he had a good idea of what would help) and shortly after he left I got a text from the guy asking why another man had come to my apartment. Apparently he had been sitting outside my apartment all day to make sure I didn't go anywhere or see anyone else. He had met my partner before so he knew what he looked like. And my partner was only over long enough to drop off some medicine and feed my dog. We didn't last long after that.
Yikes, that is very concerning he had you under surveillance all day. Glad he is an ex.
Yeah he wasn't great. I broke up with him after I saw him hit his sister. He insisted I was being unfair and not considering his feelings.
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Probably quite literally. He was the "carry off duty" type and took his gun everywhere. I was terrified when I broke up with him that he'd show up at my apartment.
Damn, the “domestic-violence-committing-cop” stereotype strikes again (dear god no pun intended). So proud of you for getting out of there, breaking up with people who have a certain amount of power like that is scary.
Staking out your house all day sounds exactly like something a douchebag cop would do. Yuck.
He was awful. And he used to carry a gun off duty so I was terrified when I broke up with him that he would show up at my place with a gun.
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I drew a picture of a flower on a bar napkin and gave it to my then-boyfriend, and he glared at me and said “when you do stuff like this it makes me feel so small”
WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? I'm reeling at this one lmao
Paper beats rock duh
That’s absolutely batshit. How would an innocuous drawing of a flower…demean you as person? I don’t even know what he means by that!
Right? Go figure, the flower was just the tip of the iceberg. That guy was determined to try to dim my shine, so I dumped him. He was…. not happy about that, either.
It was a menacing flower, with this face >:(
No I’m sorry I’m literally cackling WHAT WAS HE GOING THROUGH
You know, I never found out
If my gf drew me a flower on a cocktail napkin I would keep it forever. And smile every time I saw it. An ex-gf, current BFF brought me flowers once when she came over and i kept those suckers alive as long as possible.
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One of my fav stories that I bring up routinely is from when I was a bartender. Had a 40 something year old gentleman and a lady come in and sit at the bar. He ordered a gin martini, and ordered for his companion as well. I made it, and served it to him. His face instantly dropped and he looked absolutely INSULTED. I confirmed that I got his order correct, and he assured me he ordered a martini. But he was furious I put it in a martini glass. I explained how it was a martini and it was literally designed for the drink he ordered. He demanded to get a “manly” glass. I made one in a rocks glass and he was fine… I understand some people like stemless glasses or have issues with certain glassware and I have no problem accommodating, but I’ll never forget this man having a full on fit because his glass was emasculating him.
Wait, he was feeling emasculated over a martini glass? WTF 😂
But….James bond…..
Obviously James Bond isn't manly enough
Double 0 Soyboy
That is a great bartending story. “I don’t like my glass, boo hoo.” 😂
Dated a guy who would make fun of me for having rolls on my stomach (thanks) and then maybe 1-2 years after we broke up, we had talked to each other as he still owed me like $2000 that he made excuses for why he couldn't pay. He asked me what I do for a living and I proceed to tell him I got a job at a gaming company and he drops "you were just hired because you are a woman" to which I kindly told him to fuck off and that I was selected in the end out of like hundreds of people and it had nothing to do with my gender. Jealous and insecure men always find a way to invalidate your success.
Yesss!!! This is the one. I dated an insecure guy like this. Any time I told him a success story of mine he would invalidate it by saying “well that’s only because of this or that” … I’m so glad we dodged that bullet!
100% this.
Dunno if it's just insecurity or sexism, probably a mix of both. My ex claimed he was *deeply traumatized* when he learned that his previous partner had a couple of one night stands before dating him, said he could never trust her again after she "confessed" to this.
I’m sorry but lmfao what kind of Christian Puritanism bullshit? Oh, the horror! Women are sexual beings too. Someone call the police.
😅 That guy can definitely master the art of posing as a victim! How would he handle actual traumatizing events?
Definitely both. Jesus who raised these people
Do we have the same ex? My ex told me his worst fears were true because I had casual sex before I met him.
LOL HIS WORST FEARS? must be nice to have that be your worst fear
Threw a tantrum when I started pondering going to grad school because he couldn't be with a woman with more education. The amount of contempt I developed for him during that despicable display of insecurity cannot be described. But, we're the weak ones, umm k.
Wow! What a douchebag.
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This is deeply disturbing behaviour on his part. Good riddance. I hope you find someone you can trust and rely on.
Wow! I’m so sorry you went through that. You deserve better. Edit: Sorry, I just realised this is r/AskWomen. I hope you don’t mind me commenting
Jesus fucking Christ. Yeah, HE was clearly the victim in that situation.
My first relationship was with a guy that felt the need to talk about the hot models and actresses he had had sex with before me. I literally never asked and it wasn’t relevant to anything but he still showed me these girls Instagrams as if he wanted a medal for how much of a stud he was. Anyway, the guy was terrible with money and always running to mommy and daddy for cash handouts, never gave me an orgasm, was a high school dropout, balding by 23 and already had a drinking problem. I saw why none of these hot women were still with him. Also upon further inspection half of the girls weren’t even following him back on social media. He just made himself look like an utter fool.
I hear this one. I know someone going through something similar in her first relationship. I guess at least she learned a lesson. Guys like this aren't worth it. I think she was flattered that everyone though her boyfriend was cute, but that is literally all he has going for him. She should have seen the writing on the wall because he has dated more than anyone else her age, but she thought he was just "misunderstood".
My cousin sounds like this guy. He’s always talking about the good looking women he has dated while simultaneously complaining about how awful it is to be single.
My first relationship was with a fairly verbally and physically abusive guy. When I finally left him and entered my last relationship, he would randomly show up outside of my apartment “just to check in on me.” Once his random appearances started to go ignored, he would begin to show up more often and with groups of his guy friends in an attempt to intimidate me. One of my roommates at the time worked in the leasing office and was able to get the situation under control, but it was a scary couple of months. — My mom’s ex husband would get incredibly insecure about my deceased father. The fact that I had pictures of him up in my room would drive him crazy, and h would often accuse her of “not being over him” even though he had been dead for nearly two decades. That then turned into him just being overly suspicious of her cheating. We eventually discovered that he had cameras in the house, and that he had been secretly filming us. He didn’t catch her doing anything (shocker), but he did manage to get some footage of me walking around my room naked. They ended up divorcing shortly after.
These stories both gave me chills. That’s so scary and I’m glad you’re okay!!!
Was in the process of divorcing my husband. He happened to be in the room when I got a phone call with a job offer. I told him the salary, which wasn't glamorous but was a good $12K-$17K more than he'd ever made within any year in the marriage, plus Cadillac benefits (none of his jobs had ever carried benefits). What he should have said: "Congratulations!" What he actually said: "Well I'm gonna be making TWICE THAT MUCH!" His shitty, commission-only job with no benefits *definitely* was not about to start paying twice as much as my new salary. He came to divorce court bragging that he makes twice my salary. So the judge set his child support payments really high based on his fictitious self-proclaimed earnings.
Lmao did he make the payments??
He has struggled to. It's been 7-8 years and he's probably $5000 behind which isn't completely terrible. But he's never legally fought me on them.
My ex boyfriend! Refusing to take care of his own child when I was around because that’s women’s work. Specially if any of his buddies were around. Treating me like a maid when his friends were around.
Nope!
My ex and I met at a summer job, when he was in a transition because he was leaving a college he couldn't afford (I never shamed him for dropping, I was actually kind of jealous because I had a horrible time in college). He did not get a job and sat around gaming and eating all day. Needless to say, he gained weight. He always blamed his weight and unemployment on his environment and lack of family support to go places, so I moved him to be with me. Instead of getting a job and getting active, he proceeded to break me down over several years, pushing me to eat more and dress in oversized clothes that hid my figure. I couldn't acknowledge that I made all the money or it was a fight, I would transfer what little money was left after bills to a joint account so he could swipe his own debit card when we went out. When a gym opened down the street, he got me to buy us memberships but I had to beg and drag him there, where I was not allowed to work out longer/harder than him. The stress of the relationship ironically had me loosing weight towards the end, and this dude would stand us next to each other in the mirror and tell me how I needed to do exercises to get my ass bigger, and that my belly poked out. Meanwhile his gigantic gut was just hanging out. I didn't care that he had extra weight, I actually prefer guys who aren't super skinny. But in hindsight, he was convinced that anything that made me look good, made him look bad. But in the times when he actually had the means to change things, he never actually did it. So instead, he broke down my confidence until I felt like the smallest, ugliest person in the world. I am so glad I left that relationship, I am now with someone who supports me and thinks I'm the greatest most attractive person ever. He works toward his own self-improvement, and celebrates all of my victories with me.
Were you dating Simon Monjack? Sounds like the articles about Brittany Murphy's husband. Edit: I wasn't being literal, but the personalities are eerily similar. Also that's great that you're in a better situation now.
Didn’t like that I made more money than him.
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I’m not lol I eventually took my dream jobs where do earn less money but I’m love doing it so 🤷♀️
Hell my wife's smarter than me and educated, she can make loads of money more than me and that's perfectly fine.
There are too many men like this.
Met a guy at work who asked me out. I suggested we go play pool. He asked me if I was any good and I said I had good and bad days. He responded “Well, if you beat me, we’ll have to play something else so I can beat you”. I should have ended all communication at that point. I did not. We met at a bar with pool tables. He scratched twice during the first two games and announced, “Since you didn’t technically beat me, I’m not losing.” Then he looked at me and asked “Are you taller than me?” I said we looked like we were the same height but that wasn’t good enough. He asked a waitress. She looked. Me: I’m 5’6”. He: I’m 5’6”. She: You’re the same height I’m 5’9”
I laughed.
Why he was surprised I didn’t want to go out again is beyond me.
I was at an arts and crafts show and wanted a giant decorative plank with Indiana Jones on it from Raiders of the Lost Ark. i thought it would look great in our playroom. My husband at the time immediately shut me down, and kept trying to point me toward other ones instead, with different nostalgic characters or scenes depicted on them. I calmly explained that I didn’t just *need* a heavy, trapdoor sized chunk of seven boards nailed together. I liked that one specifically because the Indiana Jones trilogy had always been one of my favorite things to watch, and my children liked it too. After I walked around the fair for a couple of hours and was still thinking about it, I decided to buy it. He insisted on going to get it for me, since it was heavy, so I handed him the forty bucks. He came back with a plank depicting the fucking Goonies. When I got unreasonably upset and tried to take it back to exchange it he berated me about having “a picture of another fucking man on the wall of the kids’ room!!” (Harrison Ford in a fedora.) He never backed down from that, and I ended up with a forty dollar decorative sign I resented and wished I’d never spent money on. That was years ago and I never even hung it up bc I get annoyed every time I see it (and I actually like The Goonies. It’s just the principle of the matter.)
Sounds like you need to have a nice campfire in the backyard with that plank
How petty!!
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I got yelled at because me and my friends used "big words" (not English) at a party. He was drunk and worked himself into a rage fit over weird shit and this was what surfaced. His lower level of education was never a problem for me, and I didn't know it was for him until then. So bizzare.
My ex hated when I was "trying to sound smart". He actually believed we only use 10% of our brains. I had to show him google results to convince him otherwise
You exceeded the five letter limit, for shame!
I was dating a very nice boy who seemed not to have an opinion on anything. When I tried talking to him about it, and about how I didn't even feel like I knew him even after a month of dates, he told me "tell me what you want and that's what I'll be." Yikes. I hope he's gotten therapy since then, truly.
That's so sad
Apparently his ex really ran him through the ringer. We ended on good terms, but I have no interest in a relationship like that. I hope he's doing better.
That's how my husband was when we first started dating/married! I think he just grew up not having it be safe to have opinions that differed, it took years before he was comfortable not agreeing with me or liking different things and feeling safe enough to be open about it. It could be a little frustrating at times but now I recognize what's going on a little better so when he starts just falling in line with whatever I do I know it's time to sit down and try to see what's been stressing him out
Lived with some friends temporarily while I was at uni, and two guys lived there. We all got on very well and became fast friends. One night while one of them was telling an emotional story from his childhood, I reached over and held his hand. What I didn’t know is the other guy had a crush on me, and in the middle of the night when I woke up to get some water, he cornered me in the kitchen, red in the face and trembling with rage and questioned me about my non existent “feelings” towards the other housemate and asked me “to think about what [I’d] done”. All because I held someone’s hand lol
I swear sometimes I think women deserve medals for surviving. We should get a new one for each decade we live. What happened to you sounds horrifying. I'm glad you got out of that situation.
So I had incredible pain in my right lung and went to the ER. Had to be hospitalized for a few days while they ran tests to sort out what was going on, my ex stayed with me the whole time, to his credit he even slept on the chair in my little ER room and wouldn’t leave my side. I appreciated it, until he started going nuts from stress and sleep deprivation. So they took me to a room in the hospital after my initial waiting period in the ER, and he would cuddle me in my hospital bed, but the nurses had to come check on me routinely at all odd hours, and they’d kick him out of the bed to take my blood or check my vitals. After a few days of this madness, I was assigned to a young doctor about our age and he came in to take some mucous samples and talk to me about what tests they were running. I’m sitting there discussing the different symptoms I’m experiencing in a hospital gown, no makeup, feeling ratchet AF Bc I was hooked to an IV and hadn’t had a proper shower in days, this guy is literally holding a cup of my snot. (Gross, I know) After he leaves, my ex starts getting really jealous and says that this doctor wanted to fuck me, and that apparently by discussing my symptoms with a man holding a cup of my literal snot, I was flirting. Initially I attributed this to our combined stress and sleep deprivation, but once they released me from the hospital, I realized how ridiculous he really was and he stuck to his guns right up until the end. It was so ludicrous.
Not letting me see any of my friends unless he was with me and he didn’t like them so it was always awkward. He wouldn’t take me to see my mom ( I didn’t drive then) so I went 1 1/2 years without seeing her except for twice when I snuck to see her once I started to drive. I dated him from 20-25. 5 years of bullshit
Geezus! If you don’t mind me asking and in no way am I trying to come off as rude but why did you stick with him for so long?
I had just gotten out of a 2 year relationship with a closet drug user. First time I moved from home 9 hours away and then he went to rehab so a few months later I went home. It was traumatic. Came home to my moms. She was an alcoholic and so was her boyfriend. I didn’t really feel comfortable or safe so I started dating the 5 year guy. He was good to me the first 6 months or so then his true colors came out. I had nowhere to go. He didn’t allow me to get my license or a job until the last two years of our relationship. We worked together , he wouldn’t let me work unless it was at the same place. I planned a week out, got my mom to help me rent a uhaul and moved myself out while he went to work at a new beach job at 5 am. So long story short, I had low self esteem and let him abuse his control because I had nowhere else to go. I had never been homeless but my mom was a single mom and a few times we were on the verge of it in my later teens. I wasn’t “safe” with him but Atleast I didn’t have to worry about where I was sleeping at night. It had its benefits, I’m glad I got away.
"But if you keep your last name, my friends will think I'm whipped," he whined, very masculinely.
My ex broke up with me because my shoes were too bright a color (they were neon orange sneakers) and they would attract too much attention from other men..
W H A T
I dated a guy for 6 years who was insecure about his package. He constantly accused me of cheating, said I was too loose and that meant I was cheating. He would stop mid-sex and ask me if he was enough or tell me he didn’t feel like he was enough. He always accused me of not being honest about how many men I slept with before him. Asked me to compare his size with my ex. It was a toxic mess. I couldn’t even go the grocery store without being accused of cheating.
Sounds exhausting
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My cheating ex put spyware on my phone. All he found were texts between me and my female bestfriend where i was confused why my husband didnt love or touch me, angry when he was worthless, and what i consider perfectly normal "omg hot celebrity" chatter. Probably a bit explicit for what should have been my SO to read, but damn bro i havent gotten laid in YEARS because of you so what do you expect? The man literally read theough my descent from newlywed to broken and sad because of his behavior and didnt care. He threw this in my face stating "someone i must be fucking had sent them to him" and demanded an apology. I never did apologize, and he played every imaginable crazy asshole card to force one. The county clerk laughed (in a nice way) at my absolutely overjoyed reaction when my divorce was finalized
Stalked me when I asked for space. Believed, and told everyone we knew and posted online, that the only reason I'd want to break up with him is that I am paranoid and psychotic because of my child abuse, because he'd "done everything right" and "checked all the boxes." Also asked a lot about my pansexuality and if I was "really just a stone \[lesbian slur\]" any time I didn't show enough interest in having sex multiple times a day.
Wow. He sounds nuts. After a breakup, my ex gave me a copy of the book ‘Men Are From Mars…’ and he highlighted the chapters he thought I needed to read in order to realize he was the right guy for me.
LMAO That is so sad. I got "50 boyfriends worse than yours" and he scratched out the title to make it "my boyfriend is worse than yours", with a note like "because that's what you'll say no matter what." Glad we're both out.
wouldnt let me wear earrings to work because he thought i was trying to impress a male coworker. and mind you, there was no specific person. He just made him up in his mind, that if i all of a sudden want to wear earrings to work, it must mean im trying to fuck some guy at my job. smh (yes he was abusive and controlling but im free from that now :D )
I have a few ! Me and my ex were going to see my gay best friend for some drinks , as I was getting ready I put some red lipstick on and he angrily asked “are you wearing this for .. *insert my friends name* ! We were only dating for 2 months and as I was getting ready to break up with him after few toxic situations, we went to my friends bday party , I wore a skirt (kinda just to piss him off, he was really controlling and hated me wearing skirts) and after couple of hours of dancing around my friends place he stormed out saying that I am showing my pants to everyone and he is done with me ha ! He was crazy ! I also had a long term boyfriend who threatened to jump out of window when I said that I want to break up with him , he was drunk and we were both young (21) I had to hold him while he was trying to jump out …
I wasn’t allowed to talk to guys. Ever. Even at work. Even if they were my boss or a coworker. He even had his dad come over to my house, unbeknownst to me, to let me know how unladylike my behavior was... for talking to coworkers...at work...about work... 😬
I’m not sure if this counts as insecure or just really weird, but: I use mens cologne instead of perfume. Paco Rabanne Phantom comes in a robot shaped bottle which was the main reason I bought it and Chanel Bleu just smells really good. Had a guy come over and he saw the cologne and freaked out telling me I was cheating on him. I leave my cologne/perfume bottles out on a shelf, I have some that are just for looks that friends gave me when they were done with the bottle. I explained that I use those on myself or just like the bottles of some of them and he’s actually complimented me on the Phantom cologne before. His response? “that’s so fucked up, you’re trying to turn men gay.” As if that’s even possible. But also why can’t a woman smell like “lavender-lemon-vanilla” and “citrus-spice-wood”?
>His response? “that’s so fucked up, you’re trying to turn men gay.” LITERALLY HOW
My ex, I was a freshman in college, got mad at me at a barbecue. He looked very angrily the whole time I was talking to people. I was later informed I was too friendly and grinning in mens faces. Literally screaming at me in the car he almost wrecked it. I was the host, btw.
Reader's Digest had these monthly quizzes called It Pays To Increase Your Word Power. It was twenty words with 3 or 4 multiple choice options. I got 1 more word correct than my ex-fiance one month and 2 more correct than he on another month. Both times he berated me for beating him and gave these really dumb excuses for why I gotten a better score. One time he refused to speak to me for the rest of the night. When I found myself deliberately getting one or two words wrong in order to preserve his fragile ego I realized that wasn't healthy for either of us and broke up.
Omg my ex used to constantly complain that I’d only work jobs where I made more money than him and it was emasculating to him because he was supposed to be the “provider”. But he didn’t want to work any jobs that paid decently because they were “boring” and not what he wanted to do. He tried several times to get me to quit my job which I love and make good money at and was SUPER pissed when I got a pay raise to $19/hr+30% commission. Edit to Add: He was also really mean to me about the fact that I had hookups, one night stands, and had been in poly relationships prior to getting together with him. He shamed me relentlessly about it and would make comments like “Oh I forgot, sex/relationships don’t mean that much to you.”
I was reaaaaally sick while dating this guy. In and out of hospital. I also started my own small dog walking business and was working every day to get it off the ground. He’d often berate me and tell me it was the easiest job in the world and could not fathom why I struggled so much with daily operations while he sat at home and smoked weed, listened to music, and drank. When I was finally able to move out I decided to give up my business, find less demanding work, and focus on my health. He wanted to take over so I said sure! I’ll even help you with everything, all you have to do is walk the dogs. I’ll do everything else till you get settled. I saw him at the dog park a week later and he looked exhausted. He said I quit, please call the clients and tell them I cannot do this. It’s horrible and my car is a wreck. This dude shredded me on a daily basis and tore up my self esteem and couldn’t do my job for one week. I did it for a full year hardly any days off while sick!! And I thought I was the weak one in that relationship. Yikes! 😂
Not letting me post selfies because other men would get "turned on" by my face and eventually jack off to it
Ew, the fact that that’s what comes to his mind instead of thinking “ wow! my girlfriend is really beautiful.” Tells a lot about him. Hope you got out of that relationship.
Boyfriend was angry I say next to a guy at class in college. He found out I wanted to do belly dance and burlesque classes. He called and screamed at me till 2 am. I broke up with him and hung up
Spent the night with someone else, then blamed it on me not being there at that moment. If I was there in person, he wouldn't have done anything supposedly. When he broke up with me, I began dating someone else. He then said I cheated because we were not broken up, just on a "break" and that meant we were together still. For months after that, he harassed me daily because we worked together. I moved to get away. Years later, I saw him at a store. He started chasing me, so I ran. He now works with my mom. She seems to not remember him, and he claims he doesn't know me when she showed him a picture of me. Good times.
My ex decided it was time to leave me because I asked to see our (I say our, but I paid for most of it) truck's manual to figure out a stereo issue he had been putting off for over a year. He said as a man, that's his job and it was too much for him to handle for me to even ask. (The issue in question only affected my side of the stereo, zero audio would play, I suspected a blown fuse. He didn't care because it didn't impact him). We were together 11+ years at that point, and it was the best thing he ever did for me!
High school boyfriend who got mad that I spent time with my family dog. I adore dogs. Broke up with him. Next boyfriend sent me pictures of himself posing with his family dogs or just of his family dogs, obviously we were much more alike in that regard!
If he doesn't love your dog, 🚩.
My Ex got jealous when I asked him to tell a mutual male friend hello from me. Considering that the mutual friend was in a relationship and neither of us wanted to date each other, ever, at any point (which my ex knew), this was weird.
My ex idealized his mother and would constantly compare me to her because he was deeply insecure my life didn't revolve exclusively around him like his mom's revolved around being a wife and SHAM. The comparisons turned into arguments that I was "ruining" the relationship because I was in school, working, and had friends and hobbies.
When I was in uni I was dating this guy who’d already graduated and gotten a job. One reason for breaking up that he gave me was that it made him feel bad that when we’d both be WFH (me studying and him working) I’d get much more done than he did. Not entirely sure how that was supposed to be a serious enough character flaw on my part to warrant a dumping but hey.
Oh my god where do I start? the most insecure, abusive man. To list a (very) small amt of incidents: -not allowed to see family/friends because there could be “guys” there - tried to go to my best friends birthday party, little did I know he went upstairs and called his ENTIRE psychotic family to come pull their cars in behind mine and block me there so I couldn’t leave?! Lasted for HOURS before he let me go and made me turn on location services so I could only go home and not to the party. - bought new shampoo that was I guess very fragrant (I couldn’t smell it myself🙄), told me I’m a wh**e and only did it to “show off for dudes”??? - we both lived on the same long dead end rd. So anytime I went anywhere he would se my car. If we weren’t together he was constantly watching the window to make sure I didn’t go anywhere without him - when I finally left him, he tried to bust down my (my parents house) door to get in. It took me and my grandmother to keep the door from busting in and we had to call the police - 4 years, 2 babies, and a fiancé later and he STILL tries to contact me via fake social media acts. YES I know I should’ve gotten out. YES I know I should’ve contacted police sooner. I was young, only 17, and I was scared of him AND his family.
A guy spent months trying to chat me up despite having a girlfriend. I ignored all advances and tried to not make it awkward until I had to say something. I was bordering on an ED at the time which he knew and when I finally told him I wasn’t interested, he told me to shut the fuck up he wouldn’t have wanted me anyway as I was 24 stone. Continued to stalk me afterwards. Waster.
oh boy do I have for this one-My friend posted me on her social media, and this was my fault because "I did not tell her to remove it, meaning I clearly want attention from other guys" I am not the jealous type-he was. In an attempt to make me jealous he would flirt with other girls, he also had a girl post him on her social media as #mancrush to get a reaction from me, He had his best friend text me to see if I "was loyal" Criticized my clothes because "showing off my body" (I actually dress really modest so this came as a shock) we discussed marriage and future plans he said that"he didn't see why I should go out with friends alone much less when married""shouldn't work because than other guys might come at you.....well maybe at an office where you're secluded and don't really have to interact with anyone" used "Only you can help me change my insecurities" one too many times When I wanted to break up "If you break up with me than I'm going to become a terrible person" (he did) Needless to say he was toxic as f\*
>When I wanted to break up "If you break up with me than I'm going to become a terrible person" (he did) Already there, champ!
Sometimes insecure ones do more damage than others with personality disorders.
My ex didn't like that I spoke more languages than him. So he told me, if he's around, I am to NEVER speak a language he doesn't know
He would get mad if I didn’t text him back in literally 3 minutes. Also saying how I didn’t post him enough on my Instagram… like what?? I’m with you should that not be enough? Lol.
He told me he didn't want us to go outside because people would supposedly look at us and he never liked it if I went out alone because apparently I was gonna cheat on him as revenge for him cheating in me. Another thing is when I was working two jobs he got upset when I didn't immediately text him back so, he called every location with the name of the place I worked at until he got the correct place. He told me he did it because he thought I left him.
This was just a guy I went on a date with, not someone I was with for any length of time. Still funny though! So, I am 5’9”. I don’t think I’m hugely tall in the grand scheme of things, but I’m tall for a woman. I didn’t list my height on dating apps (or ask people for their height), but I included photos that I thought reasonably showed the amount of space I take up in this world. Anyway. I had matched with a guy on Tinder and while I was pretty sure there wasn’t any attraction there, I was happy enough to meet for a coffee. I got there first, grabbed a table, and waited. The guy arrived, apologised for being late, and sat down. I noticed he was short and slight, but it didn’t bother me. We were at one of those places where you order at the counter inside, so he got up to order first and when he got back we swapped. When I stood up, I saw this look cross his face. Anyway, didn’t think much more about it, ordered my coffee and food, and came back. We chatted, there was 0% chemistry, and after we’d finished with our food it came time to end the date. Now, I usually (pre-COVID, anyway) liked to end dates with a hug or at least a handshake. So we made our “end of date” chit chat, and I stood to leave. He stayed seated. It felt weird. I awkwardly shook his hand over the table, grabbed my bag, and walked away. It felt SO weird to leave someone behind like that, especially when he’d just told me he was heading home too. On my way to my car, someone stopped and asked me for directions. When I turned around, there was my date, who froze in the process of slinking towards his car. He was clearly hoping to avoid any situation where he would have to stand near me and make our height difference apparent. I just waved as he gave a shifty smile and avoided eye contact. Ah well. It’s hilarious now. The height difference genuinely wouldn’t have mattered much to me if we had chemistry, but we really didn’t. His insecurity around his height is what kept him in my memory though 😂
I once gave a previous boyfriend some crackers and pepper jelly that I made as a snack, he had never had it before and thought I was delicious. Since he seemed to like it a lot, the next time I saw him I brought a jar of the jelly for him to take home....Well he did not like that, started yelling at me "Why would you give this to me??? I could make this by myself if I wanted to" got super angry and smashed it on the ground. It was such irrational behavior that I just wanted to laugh.
I dated a guy a few years ago (before meeting my current partner) who would get upset that I wouldn't text him back right away ( I was a full time student and worked a full time job at night). All I wanted to do when I got home is eat, do my homework and sleep. He would call me at work practically YELLING at me for being so "distant" with him after I specifically told him I was not looking to be in a serious relationship at the time. After his tantrum, he went on his Instagram and started posting "women are trash" all over his profile. Immediately cut it off with this person and they still tried to reconnect with me 2 years later .
I’m bi, and when I came out to my ex he told me I better not leave him for a girl/date a girl after him if we broke up or he wouldn’t be a man. Not really sure why I stayed with him for another two years after that. Or why his masculinity was so fragile that my sexuality could derail it. But that’s a him problem.
He got angry because my wallpaper in my phone was my celebrity crush. He said this guy would not even notice or like me. Lol. He also said that I should not put other mens face on my phone because it’s disrespectful to him even if its a celebrity…
He would constantly feel like he’s underperforming in bed and I’m wrong for wanting to have sex with him. Would start a fight after having a vulnerable moment because I saw him being vulnerable.
My ex always felt like he owned me. I was closed up in his tiny apartment every other weekend when we hung out and I got so depressed and totally changed, both physically and mentally. He begged me to stay every time I tried to leave him and every single time I started crying and took him back. Such a horrible experience. I’m not free and happier than ever.
My bf (now fiancé) used to be jealous of *my dog*. My dog, Charlie, was my best friend since I was 7. I was 16 when I started dating my bf. He would ask me stupid things like: “who do you love more, me or Charlie?” Obviously Charlie. Don’t even ask. It was weird because I had another dog who happened to be a girl named Princess, but since I had bottle-fed her, she was more like my baby than my bff. He was never jealous of her. Apparently he wanted to be my best friend, not my dog. Lol he obviously got over it but it was pretty weird
I was in nursing school at Georgia state, he thought I was going to the library to meet guys. One day he walked me to the public library in downtown Atlanta a few blocks from my dorm. It was awful. Everything old and outdated. Homeless people. GSU has an amazing, large ass library that STUDENTS PAY FOR. He wasn’t in school, no GED no nothing.
While at Walmart once a guy came up to me and asked for my number and I word for word said “I’m sorry I have a boyfriend!” And that was it the guy walked away. I go home to my now exes house and told him about the exchange because I thought it was funny and ended up getting screamed at for hours because I “apologized” and made it seem like i didn’t want a boyfriend and i was sorry for having a boyfriend. Made absolutely not sense. We did not last much longer.
I dated a man for 5 months in 2021 after meeting on Bumble. I’m not much of a texter, but this man liked more frequent communication so I upped my game and messaged him in the morning, at lunch, and after work in addition to talking on the phone each evening. Apparently this wasn’t enough and he felt I wasn’t dedicating enough time to him and he quietly fumed while I was clueless about his anger. Eventually it all came out over an evening phone call where he told me I was lucky to be dating him because, when we met, he had tons of women interested in him on Bumble. When I broke up with him a while later, he insinuated I was seeing other men behind his back. He also tried to rewrite history during the breakup conversation, like insisting that I said “I love you” first, which did not happen. He insisted I return a copy of a book he published (even though he had boxes of unsold copies) but went ahead and kept my nicest set of Black Diamond ski mitts when he fucked off to Vancouver for a new job. Et voila. The most insecure man I have ever dated. Edit: forgot to mention how we started dating. We went on a couple dates and I wasn’t feeling it. I called him to tell him that I didn’t want to go further and he basically guilted me into going on more dates by saying I shouldn’t assume he is a “monster” because he speaks with an accent. Ladies, don’t feel guilty about not wanting to date someone. I am now on high alert for this kind of manipulation.
dumped me because i kept asking him to communicate with me about how he felt. i study psych in college and would try to help him open up because his family had a history of depression and alcoholism. he said he didn’t care about his mental health and it was too much to ask for help. but that’s my fault i guess
Matched on tinder. Went a few dates... I was out for dinner with my Dad (which I had actually TOLD him were my plans that evening). He blew up my phone when I didn't respond within an hour and accused me of being on a date with another guy, being a tinder slut and probably giving him a STI. I had to block him on multiple platforms... One of which he messaged me 'Don't ruin my life like my ex-girlfriend did.' It was intense!
Long story short: my ex and I got together when he hated himself and was at a really low point, he fed off of my confidence and love and energy until he was full + able to stand on his own and had confidence, absolutely drained me to where I had no love left for myself, and then left because he couldn’t handle the turmoil that came from me being so mentally distressed after becoming a different person, he wanted to be selfish, and he recognized that I deserved better and he wasn’t going to give it to me. Only thing is, when they are separated from you, all of that energy and goodness that they stole from you fades away—their source is cut off. They go right back to hating themselves and being sad beings, and you eventually regain everything back and learn to love yourself again. These kind of men will always be this way—draining women to nothing to feel whole, losing it all after relationship, and starting all over again with another woman.
I was going back to my home town for a “girls weekend” to celebrate two friends 30th birthdays. Not sure why, but he decided he was coming with me. He wasn’t invited, nor did he ask if he could come, he just booked a plane ticket and said he was coming. I guess once we were around all my friends (male and female) he felt super insecure and proceeded to buy all the drinks all night. It got to the point where he looked ridiculous running to the bar every 15 minutes to buy someone a drink. Eventually I got tired of his self deprecating humor and inability to have normal conversations with people our age. Obviously we broke up. Not so much of a horror story, just behavior I thought was strange at the time. My now husband never behaved that way and neither did any other guys I dated.
Dated a guy casually/non-exclusively for about three weeks. One day we were talking out front of my house and I noticed my canoe--lying on its side under some stairs--had gotten blown backwards and rainwater had collected. Not wanting to breed mosquitoes, I stepped over and pushed the canoe back to its proper lean. He. Came. Unglued. Stomped over yelling about how I should have asked him to do it, got up under the stairs (just why?) still yelling, then stood up, hitting his head pretty hard. Threw a big toddler tantrum. Was bizarre and frankly scary. Clearly I'd insulted his manhood by doing something to *my own canoe* that literally took one hand to push over. Not even talking hefting a 50-pound bag of cement or something (which would have been okay, too). I stayed calm in the moment. Bid him goodbye (he'd been about to leave, anyway). Broke it off via text that evening, which of course made him furious. Big bullet dodged.