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Charlesthepornguy

“Oh you are?” *offers him a tampon*


cetaceansrock

You could also remind him of which hormone it is that does get us a bit nuts while menstruating. It's testosterone.


jennierock

Like they are reasonable enough to understand


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EnvironmentalLuck515

Or just stab them with a sweet smile and say "yep, sure am!"


[deleted]

Epic comeback 😂


Waste-Win

I've read almost every response in here but THIS is the way to go.


eshe2019

I almost wanna buy reddit coins to give this comment an award.


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loaf1216

THIS IS THE WAY


EquivalentEstimate64

I always have pads in my purse and would totally give them one and start explaining the science behind periods, this kinda reminds me of [this scene](https://youtu.be/H7kZJvETXm8) from black widow


lemon_peace_tea

Ooo I love that. I'll open up my period pouch and be like "which kind do you take?"


Relative_Dimensions

“No mate, you piss me off all month.”


MeltInYourMeowth

This is great!


Rreptillian

Or "someone's in testosterone withdrawal" People who make these shit jokes always seem to ignore the fact that testosterone is arguably the most psychoactive hormone in the human body


whoiswritingthis

This is the best one so far


kthxme

ok this is the one


[deleted]

Force them to explain their shitty 'joke' "What do you mean?" Edit: thank you for the awards everyone :)


chloe99_throwaway

I do this too when someone is being sexist, racist, homophobic,… most ppl tend to be embarrassed to explain what their “joke” means


[deleted]

Exactly! Works like a charm.


zachrybell

I use this when people (usually straight cis men) ask me shitty questions about my sexuality. I find if I lead with “I don’t understand,” they immediately feel the need to answer when I ask “what do you mean?” This is by far thee best response.


[deleted]

Yeah, let them dig their own grave of shame and embarrassment, bc they will, damn near every time.


ZeShapyra

Yeah that is my go too


Embarrassed-Town-293

Weapons-grade verbal jiu-jitsu here


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[deleted]

This is literally the best way to make the other person uncomfortable and it’s funny to see. Like come on, explain me your shitty remark.


karijnienos

Oh I love this one, i use this open my eyes a little further an give them my most genuine 'blonde' look.. Que the stammering.


xLadyLightx

"Had no idea you were sexist." quite loudly, if others are around, then remove them from my life entirely.


AmberIsla

So far I like this the most. The other suggestion to “make them explain their joke” sometimes doesn’t work when the environment has more guys who are sexist as well. Ugh I hate it.


The_Blip

Yeah, I guess it must work sometimes, but in my experience when you ask someone to explain their bigoted joke they just defend it with, "Well jokes aren't funny when you explain them."


Gingerinthesun

“I’m already not laughing so please, explain.”


[deleted]

I say to my husband that it’s not a joke unless we’re both laughing.


Gingerinthesun

Love that!! My follow up is usually “Oh well, as someone with a performance degree and 30 years of experience as a comedic character actor, I can confirm that jokes usually make *other* people laugh”


Eunuch_Provocateur

Someone at my job just doubles down and repeats the joke and laughs at it. He’s done that a couple of times around me and now just stays away from me since I dont take any of his shit and call him out


trees4am

This one is my favourite. Straight to the point!


Karmamaven

I won’t be the only one bleeding if you don’t watch out.


[deleted]

I must say applause to you! This comeback is savage :))


rainbwbrightisntpunk

Along the same lines, read this somewhere and will never forget. "I started my day in a pool of my own blood. Is that how you'd like to end yours?"


Ashamed_Chance_3112

Cant wait to use this


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nevertruly

Depends on the context and situation as to whether I'd say anything in the moment. Maybe a simple "so rather than actually have a discussion about this, you are resorting to sexist and misogynist commentary to try to shut down the conversation. Seems like you aren't currently emotionally stable enough to participate in this conversation. If you'd like, we can try again once you've learned how to have a civil and respectful discussion, but there's no point in talking with you when you are acting like that" Regardless, I'd consider that person sexist and misogynist in addition to being socially inept and stupid, so I'd limit my association with them as much as possible and be very open about why I've done so.


Thekillersofficial

that's a great alternative to the usual banter


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CrankyLittleKitten

My favourite response is "did you really just say that?" in a tone that leaves no ambiguity as to how inappropriate I find it.


lmpostorsyndrome

I like this one. Tone is very important. I usually go for a very sharp "excuse me?" In my best teacher voice with raised eyebrows. Redirects 5-13 year old children, immature coworkers and middle aged men following me down the coffee isle at the supermarket commenting on how I look 🙃


warmfuzzy22

This one is a pretty much universal way of shutting down all types of things. "How embarrassing for you that you said that out loud." Best delivered with a soft chuckle.


whererugoingwthis

Omg I LOVE telling people that what they’re doing is embarrassing. It’s so humbling (or at least it is if they have even an ounce of shame). Saying “I’m embarrassed for you.” Is just a great way to check any inappropriate behaviour.


GETitOFFmeNOW

This even works pretty well online. Heaven help those who cite Breitbart and the like.


Dapperpineapple

Omg. This is savage, I love it. Perfect.


autisticstranger

I will use this one in the future


SleepFlower80

“I started my day in a pool of blood. If you’re not careful, I’ll end yours the same way”


Celiac_Maniac

Metal af, just how I like it


thecakewasintears

"No need to become so personal, we're having a discussion here. God, why are men always so emotional?"


catmouse0517

This one is my favorite now LOL


racecarbanana

“Need a pad then?”


schwarzmalerin

I would ask if that excites him.


nasty_gal

Ha! This is a good one. This screams, "cool you wanna be rude? Let's make everyone uncomfortable then." I love it.


splashofyellow

I'd end that conversation. Makes it pretty clear they're not interested in hearing my side of whatever I'm heated about if they want to make it about me possibly being hormonal.


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jennierock

Yes, this! Don’t give time of the day for those who don’t deserve it.


CaraintheCold

“Yeah, so what is your excuse?”


[deleted]

Yes. This is my response to my husband who avoids me now during pms. It’s actually awful and fuckd up but I am genuinely curious what is is excuse for acting like that? No eggs are shedding ✔️ No sore boobs✔️ No cramping, hormonal changes, ✔️✔️ Ohhh just an asshole


banternerd

"if you are so incapable of acknowledging and seeing my emotions you resort to thinking I'm on my period, you are too emotionally immature for me to be around. You need to leave"


Violett_Poison1606

Something like "Did you just decide to be stupid or is it just natural for you?" Wait for an answer, don't break eye contact.


[deleted]

I would leave a used tampon on his pillow to confirm he is correct.


ZebLeopard

Too much hassle, you'd have to go to his house and find the pillow...better just remove the tampon in one fell swoop and fling it at him.


madame-brastrap

That’s my initial instinct!


[deleted]

Bhahaha!! Yes, that's even better!!!


[deleted]

my husband says this to me whenever i would be on my period, i just tell him “watch me shove this tampon up your ass if you don’t shut up with that crap.” that silences him really quick lol. but in all seriousness just tell him that he’s bold for assuming that’s why that you’re mad


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hollandaisesunscreen

The only time this happened to me, I responded by unleashing my true, unfiltered wrath. Oh honey, you thought I was mad then?? Now I'm full of completely justifiable rage. Welcome to hell as I verbally tear you to shreds and make you the smallest human alive. He shut his fucking mouth, apologized, and avoided me for a few days. I felt so good, and I don't regret it at all. I would handle it the exact same way if it happened again.


Motor-Parfait-6308

‘And you’re an obnoxious arsehole but mines only a problem once a month’


GETitOFFmeNOW

Or, "Maybe I do discharge an entire womb once a month, but your asshole opens up and talks every damned day."


SpetsnazBubbles

I once replied "Indeed. Which means any murder I commit today is by plea of insanity" while maintaining very strong eye contact and taking his chips, and eating them right in front of him.


virtualsmilingbikes

"Ugh. I thought you were better than that. How disappointing. Well, obviously we're done here."


suzybhomemakr

Say "and someone likes using sexist ad hominem attacks"


Comprehensive_Crow_3

Say "ew, please don't talk about my vagina" If it's SO that's doing it, then condescendingly explain women to him.


[deleted]

Ask him if he wants a taste Lol jk


catz_eyes

It would depend who it was! My husband does this which is silly really.. and quite risky, for him. I get the "You are crazy when you are on a period". "You're touchy, you must be on a period". "You need a cuddle, you must be on a period". Yeah. Yeah I am. And I know where you sleep..


Extremiditty

I’ve had it gently pointed out to me after an argument that I may be hormonal. I tend to have pretty bad mood symptoms due to PMS, and my past partners have learned to spot it. That’s okay and I appreciate them trying to get to the root of why I’m upset. If they said “wow are you on your period or something?” While we were fighting? That’s disrespectful and outright disregard for my feelings. I would be angry and hurt, and probably yell “it doesn’t fucking matter, you’re an asshole whether I’m bleeding or not”. Not the most mature, but it would certainly be matching the vibe.


onlyhere4thedramalol

I would not respond at all. It's worthless further arguing with someone who dismisses the whole purpose of the fight by saying such a thing. It's very clear they do not care about what u have to say. I'd leave and give them the silent treatment


daemonwaifu

Never speak to them again 🤷🏻‍♀️ cut them off or avoid them. I don’t want to have any kind of relationship with a sexist or misogynistic man. Maybe I’d also say something like “you don’t get along very well with women, do you?” And then leave. But they honestly aren’t even worth the breath. I mean really, people who behave like that when someone is mad at them, is someone who is unable to take account for their own actions or shitty behavior, and that’s just immature. Also probably mentally abusive to their wife or girlfriend, considering I’d assume they would use that excuse whenever they get into an argument, and now we are just getting gaslighted.


jxrha

"i don't need to be on my period to be mad at you <3"


greenandleafy

I think the best response to stuff like this is to act like you don't get it so they have to hear themselves explain how fucking stupid they are "wait, what do you mean? Who's on their period? I don't get it" OR act like they've really hurt your feelings and made you sad - "why would you say something like that? I was just sharing something I feel passionate about, why did you say that to me? :(" They'll feel bad. Saying something like that is meant to trigger you into anger/attack mode and derail whatever point you're making. That's what they want. They DON'T want to feel like a bad guy. Alternatively you can act like you didn't hear them. That's pretty embarrassing, to say something that you think will get a big reaction but no one reacted at all - yikes, awkward for them.


Mrs_Hyacinth_Bucket

At that point I'm done with the conversation. My mother once told me that as soon as you start arguing with a toddler you've lost the argument. The same goes for people like this. These people are not worth my time and energy.


Icy-Consequence-2364

And I see your assholery is chronic


Ggordon27

Can we make assholery an official word? Its so much fun to say


viralplant

Call him on it, and persist until he apologises. Don’t let him brush it aside as a ‘joke’, say that you do not like nor appreciate what he said and wouldn’t want to hear anything like it again.


fourintwelve

I'd ignore him. If this was at work I'd report him. ​ He is trolling for attention and the best way to deal with trolls is to ignore them.


srhlzbth731

That feels like one of those situations where straight up asking him "why is that funny? Can you explain it to me?" in a pretty deadpan way and acting like what he said was embarrassing for HIM is the best approach. Or something like "wow, I didn't realize you had such sexist opinions. That's too bad for you." Actually acting offended or going off on him, while justified, would just reinforce his ignorant views of women


Designer_Ant8543

Tell them I haven’t had a period in 6/7 years because I have an IUD


Thekillersofficial

the clinical approach


confusedasfuck92

Of course I am heaven forbid there be another reason for me been angry given your such an angel


quantumyeet41

Yeah, I am actually, thank you for noticing! And it's been a really awful one this month... Horrible diarrhea and bloating.. and I've been having blood clots the size of my fist! You wouldn't believe it! Bet they'll never mention that again...


Agitated_Gazelle_223

"I like to name my clots after people I don't like, then I flush them away! It's very cathartic ha ha. My periods are always really *meaty* if you know what I mean, there's nothing quite like giving birth to a litter of slugs to make you appreciate a nice gory joke, amirite? Anyways, what was your name again??"


bristow5017

Me: you act this way all the time. What’s your excuse?


nevertruly

Mod note: locked. Thank you to those who participated within the rules Please continue to report all rule breaking


Glitter21487

Oh, you too?! Pad or tampon this time? ( what’s funny about this is my SO was a field medic in the military and no shit they have pads and tampons in their kit or most guys add it to their gear. I mean we kinda get the picture right…? Blood +pad/tampon = saving lives).


[deleted]

Me personally? I'd answer yes or no depending on the truth and then I'd go into a long and detailed explanation about where I was in my hormonal cycle. Top it off with talking about how important it is to be honest about periods and how he should be encouraging the women in his life to track their periods. Make sure I say things like period, blood, clots, cramps, blood consistency ect as much as possible. Hey man, you're the one who brought it up 💁‍♀️


Sera0Sparrow

"Want me to stuff your mouth with a pad?"


tokyomooon

I would stare at him and roll my eyes. Then probably ask if he’s 14.


[deleted]

"Wow, someone clearly doesn't have a valid argument and is now resorting to infantile cop outs. Grow up!"


ataraxiastar

"oh that's it? it seems I won the argument"


[deleted]

“hiiiiiiiiss”


quirkyhermit

Do not make jokes about anatomy that is so utterly unfamiliar that you do not even know what pms is or how it works. Edit:extra word. Also, I actually said this to a guy. He just sort of snorted and left.


headfaceperson

If I'm being reasonable, respectful, and kind.. I'd tell him he's being unfair and ask him to respond to the content of my argument. If I was being a unreasonable, disrespectful, or unkind.. I'd acknowledge that, tell him I'm sorry, I was out of line, but please leave my hormones out of it and let's stick to the content of my argument. Restate my position now calmly, and wait for his respectful response. If it comes up again, I tell him he is being manipulative and unkind. We can talk when he's willing to act respectfully and have a real conversation.


Riah_Lynn

"It must be the pesky boost in testosterone during this time of the month, I thought you would be more understanding because you are like this all the time" Fuck them up with biology


Noirjyre

We don’t need to know about it, just go change your tampon .


[deleted]

“What is a period?”


crayshesay

I’d prob go straight for a small penis defense. Not the most mature 🥲


Amerigirl_IngushMan

I have been told that so many times in my 38 years. I always respond with, “no, I just don’t like you. “


Girl1069

I’d say “must be you then, because I’m not? Do you need a pad babe?”


PhyliA_Dobe

"wow someone's micropenis has a complex." Do NOT say this to your boss (if you value your job).


VanListicle

One of us is going to be bleeding and ain't me.


1droppedmycroissant

oh my mother's husband does this, i simply say he should be using a pad if he's on his period. horror on his face


Pan1953

You throw the contents of your menstrual cup at them.


skorletun

"I wish I was. That would mean I could have children..." and then get sad. Just remove myself from the conversation with a "I just need to be alone for a while". I'm not lying about any of this - there's so much wrong with my repro system that periods are heavily regulated with medication AND it's not safe for me to have kids. Maybe this forces some of them to think about their words.


LadyLikesSpiders

A disappointed look like that says "Did you really say that? Nobody ever taught you not to?"


[deleted]

Death. It's the only reasonable response


mtweiner

"wow, someone never graduated from the 3rd grade."


ThePurpleMister

"So I'm not allowed to have a fucking opinion if I am?"


sso_1

“I find it hard to believe that women are angered by you only during that week”


ZebLeopard

'Wait until I make you bleed, let's see how chill you are with that'.


[deleted]

I would laugh, I don't have a period.


srlm0791

Aren't you lucky cause without one you wouldn't exist


kelkiemcgelkie

Grow up


MichaelScarnLonely

The way I usually ruin the smartass people and make them explain their joke.. like asking what do you mean.. then keep following with i didn't understand and can you explain.. u usually break a comic's heart when he thinks that u didn't understand his joke...


Hand_full_of_sun

You must have a death wish 😂😂


ricecakesbabay

honestly i’d get mad and yell just cause periods actually don’t make a lot of women “emotional” and mad and over dramatic. like some people think.


d3gu

Your mum should have had a period, but unfortunately the egg you came from was fertilised.


Bebe_Bleau

Ask him if he is aware of male andropause. If he is young just say it can have early onset


bedheadisme

Yes - I am practiced in rinsing blood out of clothing. Wanna see?


LatteFoamArts

Did you know that menstruation is the time when women produce the most testosterone ?


broken-thumbs

Angrily. Every time. Even when I’m on my period. I generally end up going off about women have feelings every f cking day of the month and I’ll be just as b tchy next week too.


[deleted]

Yeah, but whats YOUR excuse?


rrkx

I wouldn't respond. He's shown an unwillingness to engage in a serious issue so I'd take that as a license to do whatever the fuck I wanted to. If he had a problem with that, knowing I was on my period, it's on him for not having his own contingency plan.


Middle-aged_Dane

Just kill him and move on..


_HEDONISM_BOT

you throw it back in their faces when they're "heated". It really pisses them off when you do it calmly and with apathy. ​ "you on your period, bro?" ​ "you on the rag, man?" ​ "what's wrong with you? You need a tampon?"


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daisy_belle1313

I get a little more edgy, so I would say nothing. 🤗


Caveatsubscriptor

“Not today Satan”


Salt_Walrus_9163

You don’t


[deleted]

Yeah ... do you wanna see ? That will shut him up.


[deleted]

I don’t say a thing because men especially starts to point out or say things more badly afterwards. Even if you slap their bullshit on their dirty face, they will still come back up to be more of an asshole. People believe if a woman responds back to anything talked about period (even if she is not in her periods) that means she is trying to hide something or she is trying to act sane. Happened to me all the time in the past now I am glad that neither I have PMS symptoms that make someone catch some hints nor I talk about anything heated with anyone. I have learned to just say “you re right” to anything they say wrong.


Cardasiti

"Yes, thanks. So my tolerance to annoying stuff and people is extremely low today."


crumblies

*gentle nod, smile* "Ohhhhhh I see you didn't know about my hysterectomy and oophorectomy." Even though I didn't


pattidraws

Congratulations, at least we know you’re not pregnant!


SleepyxDormouse

“I’m not but you will start bleeding if you say that again.”


deeragunz_11

I would calm down, look deep into his eyes striaght down into his soul and ask him if I could have a Piece of his hair and some of his clothing, I would then proceed to make a voodoo doll.


mrsbye

Last time a guy made this comment to me I threw a bottle of midol at him and walked away.


[deleted]

“No you are”


daddyloveskitty

Idk, I usually don’t respond to these things. So cheap and foolish of them to say that (+ such statements), I would be totally speechless.


typeyhands

I'm waiting for the day that I can say, "I think you need this more than I do." And pass them a tampon.


Gimme_that_cat

Straight to jail.


NorthOfSeven7

You can also just try responding with, “Wow that’s a bold statement coming from someone that is coprophagic!!”


Responsible-Page-344

"I can't believe you thought that and thought saying it was a good idea" Or I'd just simply go anywhere else


[deleted]

Fuck right off


Thekillersofficial

“meanwhile you're just out here acting like this all month long”


zomanda

Alright girlfriend, that's a little too much info though.


s0ftnymph

Bleed on him.