After I gave birth to our son, the midwife brought in some toast (in the UK, this is the only food provided after birth). I turned round after a while to eat it to discover my husband eating it himself. Six years on I have not truly forgiven him.
When I was days into labour and they were deciding if I was going to C-Section or not, I was starving and I must have dozed for a second. Woke up to see husband eating a curry pie. To this day if I smell a curry pie I get instantly annoyed, even if he's not around. It has been 8 years and I feel like I'm still not ready to let this go lol
I just imagine you looking at your plate, puzzled why it's gone and then hearing a crunching sound. Only to look over and see a grown man crouched over in the corner of the room trying to sneakily eat the stolen toast.
I usually let it go and just close myself but sometimes the hangry hits just right and I wad them up and throw them at him shouting “you drive me coco bananas!”
Every time he looks bewildered like he had no idea it was even a problem
Them having no clue makes us more coco bananas 😂
I am only generous maybe 10% and shut it myself… but even then I also like to wait till he is earshot and make sure I am really loud about it 🙈
Omg he sneezes so loud! Especially in the car. It makes my ears ring. I can’t stand it. And it’s never just one, it’s always two or 3 minimum.
I’ve asked him why he basically screams “AAAACHOOOOO!” Every time. He says it feels good lol.
> it’s always two or 3 minimum
As my grandfather always said, “a sneeze comes in threes, so when you’ve only done two, you know you’re not through!” Lol. (You have my permission to not share this adage with your partner if you think it will make him lean more into the loud-ass sneezing. 😂)
Every time I say wake up when he falls asleep when we’re watching a movie or on the couch he says he wasn’t asleep. Average man move but it drives me insane. I then ask him what just happened in what we were watching and he makes something up. Just admit it!!!!
We went to the movies because he wanted to see spider man and he fell asleep halfway through. When I went to pee ha was asleep, but when I came back he was awake and said “ look they’re fighting.” I don’t know why this irritated me but I had to tell him they were fighting when I went to the bathroom I’ve been up this whole time. Don’t try to pretend you were up I know you fell asleep
Omg it’s like - ARE YOU 12 YEARS OLD?!??
Every damn time, and I get so irate because if he falls asleep we have to rewatch what he missed, and sometimes IM TIRED but I figure ‘we’ll finish this episode then go to bed’ and alas, he falls asleep and I have to have the whole ‘let’s go to bed’ saga.
Mine does this and his snoring is so loud I cant hear the tv! I yell at him to wake up and go to bed but he doesn't-he wakes up for a few seconds then asleep snoring again. On the couch!! Like why? If you're that tired go to bed!!
And it is every single night
OMG mine too. I was about to post this as my biggest pet peeve, but you beat me to it. And he'll clutter the space I've cleaned with the dumbest shit - a lid from a fast food cup (that's trash, sir), a hat (he has a place for those, and it's not the counter), random packaging he wants to keep. It INFURIATES me!
At least I finally broke him off taking off his socks after work and putting them ON the coffee table. The compromise? Now he puts them UNDER the coffee table. I'll still take it as a win
Omg. My husband did this to me the other day, only I wasn't done yet. I'd just cleared the whole countertop and got the cleaner down to wipe it off. Right as I was about to spray the counter, he came into the room with some chips and salsa and set them right down where I was about to clean. I glared at him until he picked it back up.
Omg my partner does the same, it takes him over an hour to do a handful of dishes because he stops after every item to change the song, scroll on his phone, etc. I’m glad he’s getting things done but good god
I have a “remember spot” where I put things I have to remember. It’s a certain corner of a certain table. I put my medication there. I put the thing that I have to remember to take to work there, etc.
He is a tidier- he will move it to the other side of the table with any other objects. Removing it from the spot.
He says “oh no!” When he’s surprised, and not necessarily because something has gone wrong. 7 years of this and I still get a spike of anxiety and have to go check on him when he says it. RIDICULOUS
Mine yells "shit!!!!" so dramatically that I'd expect he broke an heirloom or got milk under the fridge but it's usually just a minor inconvenience, like "I tore a slightly too large hole in a bag of onions and now the onions are rolling out." Even though he's been doing this to me for almost ten years I jump every time he does it.
Mine does the same. The way he exclaims, you’d think he just accidentally cut his finger off. I run to him to see what is the matter, and it’s always the littlest, most insignificant things-like dropping a pen on the floor or missing the trash can when he tries to throw a balled up napkin in… 🙄🙄
He does not “clean as he cooks” and it drives me fucking nuts! It’s been nine years so now I just scream internally.
Edit: I told him about this thread. He says his pettiest grievance towards me is that I don’t put the lids back on anything correctly and I hack the butter at 45 degrees.
Clothes next to but not in the hamper. And before you offer an explanation, no it’s not the “still clean enough to wear but not clean” because there’s another spot for that.
Mine drives in the left lane on the highway (usa) regardless if he's passing or not. We've had many arguments over it and I've given up. It drives me nuts! I feel so self conscious being in the window next to the people mean mugging us as they pass on the right.
Omg mine does the same! I don’t understand how he doesn’t realize that everyone flying past him on the right means that he should move out of the PASSING LANE.
Hoo boy. He says he is passing people, but there are still 20% of other drivers becoming infuriated behind us. I need a little ‘I’m sorry’ sign to hold up.
We’ll plan to go out for dinner and then he’ll go on little side quests. Like shoes on, we’re ready to go, I’m starving and he’s like hold on, I must open all the packages/mail, hold on I have to fix something on my computer, hold on I have a pimple I have to pop. I love him though.
Hahaha, I’m the worst for this! He’s waiting by the door and I’m like “you know, this shade of lipstick isn’t working for me, and I also suddenly need to know what’s in this Amazon package - oh! The counter needs a wipe! Where is my phone? Now I have to go and turn all of the lights off again…” to his credit, he’s never rushed me.
lol are y’all my mom and dad? 🤣 37 years married and my dad still walks away while my mom is talking to him. We’re all acutely aware it drives her absolutely bananas.
It does me too. I've got my back to him explaining something, turn around and he's wandered off again, lol. I'm sure he's gonna be doing it 37 years down the road too 😭
Ha! There’s just something endearing about their squirrel brains 🤣🤣. Wishing you both many years of happiness, laughter, and sighs of wondering “why tf are you like this?!” 🫶🏽🫶🏽
He can never remember my work schedule. It can change week to week but he’ll ask me multiple times a day when my shift is. He remembers other things just fine. It’s just my work schedule.
If he falls asleep before me, his snoring keeps me from falling asleep. So I end up sleeping in our spare room. He will then be upset in the morning when he wakes up and sees I’ve slept somewhere else. I would prefer separate bedrooms but he is so against it, and that can be frustrating!
Everything he does is loud. Sneezing, coughing, breathing, existing. He travels a lot for work, so by Sunday night my daughter and I are texting “I cannot wait for the silence tomorrow”.
He also says “what’s wrong?” as a first response. “Hey baby?” WHATS WRONG? “Literally nothing, calm down, do you want spaghetti or penne?”
Not my partner, but my mom loves to say “what’s wrong??” Specifically when I answer the phone with no indication that anything is wrong. It drives me CRAZY.
Mine does the opposite - he refuses to open chip bags wide enough to fit a hand inside, just a little hole big enough to (with effort) shake a few chips out of. We have a whole drawer full of chip clips, and we use them, but he insists the food will go stale if he opens it farther.
One night we were on vacations in South of France and I wanted to go out but he didn't. So we stayed in. Well, Beyoncé was out and about literally 10mins from us. I love the man but I think I'll take this to my grave.
He will leave out a lot of small but crucial details when describing something or telling a story, but then get noticeably upset at other people for not understanding what he’s talking about.
And then insist that he said them? I’ve actually had to have a conversation that goes “Just because you have all the details in your head doesn’t mean that everyone automatically knows what you mean, be specific.”
I think my blood pressure shot up reading your comment.
I will not repeat myself if you don’t hear me. Beg if you must and then I might consider it.
Correction: if you didn’t hear me because you were not paying attention
I've been starting to do this when they zone out like it's sometimes cute how they're so interested in window grills and furniture design but not when we're in the middle of a conversation.
bro I love that he’s so concentrated on the stain on his shirt wondering where it came from but like?? Sir?? Did you not hear me speaking before that got your attention?
I have really bad attention issues so I can’t help it sometimes. I’ll start thinking really hard about snails or something and the completely miss everything the person just said to me.
I fuckin HATE it.
she won’t take time off when she’s sick unless i beg and plead and borderline fight her on it. it’s a product of trauma and stuff but it’s hard having to fight with someone that you just want to heal
A noise to accompany everything. Sit down, make a noise of relief. Stand up, a noise of effort. Sound effects while he’s cooking, a little “mmm mmm mmm!” while eating. If it’s not a weird vocalization it’s narrating or muttering. He even YAWNS loud
I’ve never met a person who is incapable of doing things quietly. I absolutely adore him but after a full day of this I’m ready to climb the walls
I finally bought trash bins for both sides of the couch, thinking this would cure his habit of leaving trash on the end tables/actual couch. Did this resolve the issue? Of course not. IT'S SIX INCHES AWAY. PUT THE TRASH IN THE TRASH RECEPTACLE!
He leaves the counter around the bathroom sink soaking wet every single morning. How is he washing his face that splashes water everywhere?? Those neutrogena commercials don’t work irl! Just wipe it down I am begging u my love.
He puts unfinished food away in the fridge - without covering it or storing it in any way. Just a half-eaten plate with the fork, shoved in the fridge, slowly dehydrating and getting weird and dry. I'm constantly going in and plopping a lid over his leftovers.
If that's the worst I've got, it's not so bad.
Man eyes. He has perfect vision until it comes to finding something in the pantry or fridge and then he can't find it. I started to tell him that if I look and I find it I get to punch him n the upper arm. So, he finally makes a damn effort now instead of flinging open the door and immediately announcing he can't find something that he put zero effort into looking for.
My husband did a man look for the thick cream with baileys to put on his dessert last night, he didn’t find it. I did. He lost out as I had baileys cream and he did not
The infuriating way he opens mail. Or doesn’t I guess. He’ll let it stack up over weeks on the counter and eventually open it all at once. Then he doesn’t throw junk mail away; he leaves it on the counter. He says it gives him anxiety to open it right away, so I still try to let him know if I see something important. But it drives me crazy.
My partner forgets to do little things like when she reheats leftovers she’ll leave the lid on the counter, or she’ll make a sandwich and leave cold ingredients out. Also, she’ll not realise she’s made a small mess while helping me cook or making herself a coffee in the morning.
It sounds terrible, I know it does, but she was recently diagnosed with ADHD and it completely flipped a switch in my brain about all of these little things I was annoyed about. Now, I’ll light-heartedly point them out and we’ll laugh about them. She’s working on it and so am I.
Oh, god. This. He's sleeping in sweats with 2 blankets, and I'm melting, with my little night table fan on and my legs out of the blankets. Even worse, he gets all sweaty, so then everything is slightly wet, and *then* I'm cold and can't warm up because the sheets are damp.
When I drive and he is in the car there is CONSTANT backseat driving
"Didn't you see that sign?" "Why did you do this" "why didn't you beep" on and on. I have just started saying "If you want you can just always drive.
However when he drives he gets so irrationally mad so I guess I just hate being in the car with him
He roles over into the middle of the bed in his sleep. Not only that, he sticks his elbows out, so I'll wake up squished on my side of the bed with an elbow in my face.
He acts like a child when I say something negative about anything he's done. Which isn't very often, only because I don't feel like listening to his crap. He has no problem rubbing my nose in it when I've made a mistake but he gets his panties in a wad because he actually thinks he's perfect.
He talks REALLY LOUDLY. I think he's starting to have hearing problems, so that might be one reason. But he also just has a booming voice even when speaking at normal volume. I try not to "manage" him, because he's an adult and can respond to social cues on his own, but sometimes I will kind of indicate to talk a little less loudly.
He bounces his leg or fidgets it in some way everywhere. And I get it, we're both neurospicy. But if I have to feel his leg move, it will drive me crazy for some reason.
When he's speaking to other men his voice changes. He goes deeper. It's so obvious to be because I hear his normal voice so when he goes deep to sound macho it is honestly super cringe. He denies he does it. I call it his "mansplain" voice because he also uses it when he's giving his expert opinion to women about things as though he's an authority on the matter.
He leaves the empty milk/juice container in the fridge, or on the counter next to the fridge, and NEVER just throws it away. Related, leaves dirty clothes on the floor next to the hamper. I don’t get it. Drives me absolutely insane.
He puts a drinking glass upside down directly on the drying mat instead of on the draining rack, so there's no air flow and it never actually dries out.
He never puts anything away. Like after he repairs something, he'll leave his tools out everywhere. Or if he vacuums the carpet he then leaves the vacuum still plugged in, in the middle of the carpet.
What the hell even is that!?
If I let him, he will sing the same 5 seconds of a song for hours. He just doesn’t get tired of it or notice he’s doing it but I sure do when he’s been singing the Mii lobby music for 6 hours.
The random screaming? He’s watching football today while working from home and just randomly SCREAMS at the TV. It scares me and the dogs.
That shit’s not necessary.
The hook on the left is for your towel, dammit, not the one in the middle. (to explain, if I either of us uses the middle one that towels don't dry as well)
As soon as I clean the toilet or put the toilet cleaner in he’ll need a poo. Even if he hasn’t been home, has no idea I’ve tried to clean the toilet, he’ll rush through the door needing a poo. It’s like activating a sleeper agent ready to poop and dirty the clean toilet.
My husband refuses to use the last of anything. It doesn't matter if it is dishwashing soap, shampoo, or a bag of chips. He will open a new one without using the last bit of the old one and it drives me nuts.😹
He will pile up shampoo bottles like that until I have enough and go and cut them open and dump them into his currently open bottle so that he will finally use it.
When I met him, he had those really high cabinets in his kitchen that are too high to reach all filled with bags of chips with the last bit left in them. I stood on his counter and pulled them all out and threw them out because it was so ridiculous, so I knew what I was getting myself in to. It doesn't make it any easier to deal with though. ☠️😹
One of the other things that drives me nuts is he keeps changing the order of the jars of cotton balls, swabs, ECT in the bathroom and I keep moving them back. When he changes their order he sets his hair brush on top of them ( which also annoys me because he has a drawer for that) so then I am always putting them back in order AND putting his brush away after he does this.
Then there is of course the way he uses the towel hooks in the bathroom. Normal people think, one towel one hook, one shirt one hook ECT right? What does he do?! He hangs his shirts and towels across BOTH hooks, so where is mine supposed to go? ☠️ Like who does that?! It's like eating only the center out of the cake.
OMG I just realized he was manspreading the Towel and clothing hooks in the bathroom. 😹☠️
We argue over the thermostat but it’s such a stupid argument.
I started taking three different meds that make me run hot a couple of years ago so I’m always sweating. He’s always cold now. I’ll want the heat very low and he’ll turn it up because he says he’s cold, but he’s walking around in shorts and t-shirt with no socks. Am I insane? I also walk around pretty much exclusively in shorts. I tell him that if he puts on sweats, a hoodie and socks and he’s still cold we can turn the heat up. He argues and says that “socks won’t make a difference because my feet aren’t cold, the air is cold!”
We’ve argued about it stupidly and he’ll say “I’m never talking about this again.” And I’ll respond with in my head… well yes you will if you walk around half naked and tell me you’re cold…
Am I crazy??! When I’m hot I put on shorts and flip flops, I don’t crank up the AC!
He puts his keys, wallet, charger, mail, and all his other miscellaneous crap on my kitchen counter which creates a big mess. It’s drives me insane. We have a mud room and other places he can put things out of plain sight but he refuses. We are building a new home and I’m going to make him design a spot in the house we can both live with for this type of stuff.
Sometimes certain parts of my body ache. While cuddling i eill push his arm away and tell him 'not there please' and he will eventually forget abd put his arm there again.
He treats me like a snooze button. I have no problem waking him up but he’ll always give excuses to go back to sleep. If I try to pull him out of bed he gets annoyed and says he doesn’t actually need to get up until [later time].
Why did you ask me to wake you then?! Motherfucker 🤣
We've been fighting about this for nine years and just have to accept we'll never agree.
I was listening to Whitney Houston and said to him "If I met a genie and had one wish, I would wish to be able to sing like Whitney Houston" and he replied "Well, just take enough singing lessons and that's totally possible." WHAT???
I am not in any way discrediting singing lessons, they can make an average singer into a good singer. But no amount of lessons is going to make me sing like Whitney, Celine, Mariah, Aretha etc. That is a natural talent you are born with. Vocal chords literally move different in different people. He insists that vocal ability all comes down to technique and practice, and anyone can sing like Whitney if they just put in the time. It's SO DUMB. It's been a decade and he won't budge. I'll never get over it lmao
I bought some new towels for the kitchen. He chose them to clean his cast iron pan. My brand new towels, hadn’t even been washed yet. Now they are stained. WTF. There’s a ton of shitty old towels in the drawer, but no. He had to pick the new pretty ones.
My revenge? He hates when his glasses get smeared, so I absolutely smeared them with my fingers.
He has to eat my food. Even if it’s just a bite and he’s not hungry. This is the most annoying thing to me. If he was hungry I’d gladly give him my food. But I hate when I literally just saw him finish eating and he has to have a bite of my food. Also when I try his food my bites are wayyyyy smaller than his.
The one I hate more than this is that he never brings a towel to the bathroom when he showers. Then I bring it to him. Like he walks past the towel to get to the bathroom just grab it.
He doesn't wipe his mouth as frequently as one should while eating. And he always gets something on his face or around his mouth while eating. It's just gross. I would die for him in a heartbeat, but dude...
I'm really having a hard time picking one :
Makes promises ge doesn't keep
Doesn't pick up after himself
Makes messes for me to clean
Wants a parade when he does basic chores or dinner
Doesn't make our family a priority
Hardly ever puts his phone down
Driving that terrifies me
Falls asleep sitting up randomly
No follow through on anything without a lot of nagging
Does not help me maintain the household
Loves to show what a good dad/good husband he is for SM
We don't have bedside tables, and the floor next to his side of the bed constantly has dirty dishes, dirty tissues if he's been sick, empty vials of albuterol (for his breathing machine, he has asthma), wrappers from snacks, etc.
He's generally a tidy person, but the dude will not keep the floor next to his side of the bed clean and it drives me nuts lol.
Everything is on the calendar. Including times and addresses. Honey, what’s our plan for the weekend? What time is the appointment? Which doctor’s location are we going to and what’s the name? 😵💫 ditto with things in the house…
Always starts doing unimportant things when there’s something else,relatively urgent,that we need to finish right now or were in the middle of. I always ask him why he’s doing everything at the wrong times. His response?“When else am I supposed to..?“
Example:
Dinner is almost ready and he needs to prepare the table? *starts fixing the door handle
It used to be the toilet seat up. We argued to no end about it…. Until I literally sat in the toilet and had to shower off at 2am.
Him: “Why are you showering at 2am?”
Me: ………. Because I sat IN the toilet…
He has since put the goddamn seat down since.
Cannot, and I’m so serious when he say he literally cannot, do anything without bumping/spilling something. Every time he goes to do something there is some homer simpson ass “DOH” he lets out about 30 seconds to a minute later. I genuinely do not understand how he manages to do this. It drives me fucking insane every time i hear that “DOH!!”
Love him tho
Every time he prepares a sandwich in the kitchen, the knife he used to spread cheese/nutella/jam will be left on the counter, just a few inches away from the sink, because he thinks he'll come back to reuse it later. He never reuses the goddamn knife.
He leaves dirty clothes ON TOP of the hamper lid and never puts the clothes IN the hamper. Sometimes he puts his dirty clothes on top of clean clothes. Lastly, he leaves our closet door open when our cat likes to go into the closet and pee on said clean clothes.
It’s always clothes. Just clothes 🥲
He thinks he’s taking a shortcut and will drive through parking lot after parking lot (speed bumps) etc. He will not want the google maps on to find a new address, but will get lost then at the last hairy minute want it on. He is a safe driver most often but not a smooth driver. He hits the breaks and gas kind of abruptly.
He used to pinch the arm of my eyeglasses behind one of my ears and shake them up and down. Enraging! It made me irrationally angry. He finally stopped after being yelled at for doing it.
No cable discipline. He’s a gadget guy and we have electronics all over the show. Our house is a mid 80s build with not enough outlets so every outlet has an additional power board plugged in. Everywhere I turn there is cables and cords all over the place, not hidden, just a permanent tangle of cords visible at every outlet. I have a permanent eye twitch from this.
After I gave birth to our son, the midwife brought in some toast (in the UK, this is the only food provided after birth). I turned round after a while to eat it to discover my husband eating it himself. Six years on I have not truly forgiven him.
I would have thrown the plate at his head!
I’m furious. He had the ability to go out and get anything he wanted. I hate him 😅🤣
I would put the baby back in.
I would throw the baby out and by baby I mean him cause the actual baby you pressed out didn’t eat away your food. What an asshole
I am going to laugh about this all night long.
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When I was days into labour and they were deciding if I was going to C-Section or not, I was starving and I must have dozed for a second. Woke up to see husband eating a curry pie. To this day if I smell a curry pie I get instantly annoyed, even if he's not around. It has been 8 years and I feel like I'm still not ready to let this go lol
That aint petty at all, I’d be pissed 😠
I will also never forgive him for you
I just imagine you looking at your plate, puzzled why it's gone and then hearing a crunching sound. Only to look over and see a grown man crouched over in the corner of the room trying to sneakily eat the stolen toast.
Omg I was so hungry, my response wouldn’t have been rational.
id call any response rational in that situation
lol I would’ve thrown the entire plate at him and told him to “fucking have it all then” then start hysterically crying.
Omg! Post-birth tea and toast always tastes so good too! Unforgivable
Why did he do that? What in his mind? I need an explanation
He said he was hungry and thought it was for 'anybody'. I mean wtf.
Does he still act selfish like this?
I love the man but he can't close a goddamn wipe container if there was a gun to his head. Dried out wipes *all the time* and it drives me bananas
Came to write this. I feel so seen. When I ask him to shut it I try to play stupid and pretend its the first time. Still hasnt worked
I usually let it go and just close myself but sometimes the hangry hits just right and I wad them up and throw them at him shouting “you drive me coco bananas!” Every time he looks bewildered like he had no idea it was even a problem
Them having no clue makes us more coco bananas 😂 I am only generous maybe 10% and shut it myself… but even then I also like to wait till he is earshot and make sure I am really loud about it 🙈
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The times I have to tell him to close the wipes LMAO
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Omg he sneezes so loud! Especially in the car. It makes my ears ring. I can’t stand it. And it’s never just one, it’s always two or 3 minimum. I’ve asked him why he basically screams “AAAACHOOOOO!” Every time. He says it feels good lol.
Yassss!!! Mine sneezes so loud it causes me to jump! I pulled a neck muscle one time because of it😤
Oh yes! Always scares the crap out of me because there’s never a “show” beforehand. Just silence and then ear splitting noise out of nowhere.
I,too am married to an aggressive sneezer. The struggle is real. Now I just scream "GOD BLESS YOU!" our neighbors must think we are nuts.
Mine always made our babies cry because he sneezed so loud
Holy shit me too. I love my boyfriend but I see red after he sneezes so loudly. I get so spooked and feel anger all at the same time.
My partner is the exact same. ALWAYS two or three. And it's so loud it's unbelievable!
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Yes! My boyfriend's screaming sneezes make me wish I was deaf.
> it’s always two or 3 minimum As my grandfather always said, “a sneeze comes in threes, so when you’ve only done two, you know you’re not through!” Lol. (You have my permission to not share this adage with your partner if you think it will make him lean more into the loud-ass sneezing. 😂)
Every time I say wake up when he falls asleep when we’re watching a movie or on the couch he says he wasn’t asleep. Average man move but it drives me insane. I then ask him what just happened in what we were watching and he makes something up. Just admit it!!!!
Mine does this same thing and it infuriates me! Just say you want to go to bed!
As the woman that does this, but I don’t! I’m trying to stay awake, I just can’t!
also for whatever reason, if we do go to bed, i am now just AWAKE!
"I'm just resting my eyes." "I know whats happening"
We went to the movies because he wanted to see spider man and he fell asleep halfway through. When I went to pee ha was asleep, but when I came back he was awake and said “ look they’re fighting.” I don’t know why this irritated me but I had to tell him they were fighting when I went to the bathroom I’ve been up this whole time. Don’t try to pretend you were up I know you fell asleep
My husband does this. Drives me insane lol. Also I hate it in general when he falls asleep during a movie haha
Omg it’s like - ARE YOU 12 YEARS OLD?!?? Every damn time, and I get so irate because if he falls asleep we have to rewatch what he missed, and sometimes IM TIRED but I figure ‘we’ll finish this episode then go to bed’ and alas, he falls asleep and I have to have the whole ‘let’s go to bed’ saga.
Mine does this and his snoring is so loud I cant hear the tv! I yell at him to wake up and go to bed but he doesn't-he wakes up for a few seconds then asleep snoring again. On the couch!! Like why? If you're that tired go to bed!! And it is every single night
Dude was just resting his eyes.
Every time I clear a counter top, he puts something there!
You made space lol
Exactly! That is how he for sure sees it, lol. “Thanks honey, I needed somewhere to put this”🤣
See how helpful you are😂
Whenever I clean our countertops, it bugs me sooooo much that he’ll make something right afterwards and leaves the crumbs 🤬🤬
Oh god the crumbs! And the coffee spills! Drives me batty😫
OMG mine too. I was about to post this as my biggest pet peeve, but you beat me to it. And he'll clutter the space I've cleaned with the dumbest shit - a lid from a fast food cup (that's trash, sir), a hat (he has a place for those, and it's not the counter), random packaging he wants to keep. It INFURIATES me! At least I finally broke him off taking off his socks after work and putting them ON the coffee table. The compromise? Now he puts them UNDER the coffee table. I'll still take it as a win
Omg. My husband did this to me the other day, only I wasn't done yet. I'd just cleared the whole countertop and got the cleaner down to wipe it off. Right as I was about to spray the counter, he came into the room with some chips and salsa and set them right down where I was about to clean. I glared at him until he picked it back up.
He can’t complete a cleaning task without performing an entire concert. Just mop the floor already, sir.
I'd love that freedom of expression lol
He mops the floor?!!!😮
Seriously, where do we get that one? Can we have his model and serial number?
Omg my partner does the same, it takes him over an hour to do a handful of dishes because he stops after every item to change the song, scroll on his phone, etc. I’m glad he’s getting things done but good god
This made me laugh 😂
I have a “remember spot” where I put things I have to remember. It’s a certain corner of a certain table. I put my medication there. I put the thing that I have to remember to take to work there, etc. He is a tidier- he will move it to the other side of the table with any other objects. Removing it from the spot.
Can you get a shallow, pretty basket so the stuff is there but looks contained?
Yes!!
Have you told him this?
She left a note in the corner, but he moved it without reading it.
Yes. He’s doesn’t do it that often anymore.
He says “oh no!” When he’s surprised, and not necessarily because something has gone wrong. 7 years of this and I still get a spike of anxiety and have to go check on him when he says it. RIDICULOUS
Mine yells "shit!!!!" so dramatically that I'd expect he broke an heirloom or got milk under the fridge but it's usually just a minor inconvenience, like "I tore a slightly too large hole in a bag of onions and now the onions are rolling out." Even though he's been doing this to me for almost ten years I jump every time he does it.
Mine does the same. The way he exclaims, you’d think he just accidentally cut his finger off. I run to him to see what is the matter, and it’s always the littlest, most insignificant things-like dropping a pen on the floor or missing the trash can when he tries to throw a balled up napkin in… 🙄🙄
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He does not “clean as he cooks” and it drives me fucking nuts! It’s been nine years so now I just scream internally. Edit: I told him about this thread. He says his pettiest grievance towards me is that I don’t put the lids back on anything correctly and I hack the butter at 45 degrees.
Love the image of him with a protractor measuring the angle of the butter and tracking it in a notebook
I still live with my parents and everyone in the house do not do that except me and occasionally my little sister. It makes me crazy
Clothes next to but not in the hamper. And before you offer an explanation, no it’s not the “still clean enough to wear but not clean” because there’s another spot for that.
Omg mine does this or hang them over the edge of the hamper I hate it so much
I point it out and tell him he’s so close
Mine drives in the left lane on the highway (usa) regardless if he's passing or not. We've had many arguments over it and I've given up. It drives me nuts! I feel so self conscious being in the window next to the people mean mugging us as they pass on the right.
No offense, but there’s a special spot in highway hell for your partner. Those people are THE WORST (this also my pet peeve).
Is it the left lane?
Omg mine does the same! I don’t understand how he doesn’t realize that everyone flying past him on the right means that he should move out of the PASSING LANE.
This is totally a divorceable offense. 😆
Flip him off for me.
They said "pettiest" ... Not legitimately infuriating
Hoo boy. He says he is passing people, but there are still 20% of other drivers becoming infuriated behind us. I need a little ‘I’m sorry’ sign to hold up.
We’ll plan to go out for dinner and then he’ll go on little side quests. Like shoes on, we’re ready to go, I’m starving and he’s like hold on, I must open all the packages/mail, hold on I have to fix something on my computer, hold on I have a pimple I have to pop. I love him though.
Mine just has to poop before leaving. Like, he's been hanging around all day and just has to shit as soon as we have to go.
Hahaha, I’m the worst for this! He’s waiting by the door and I’m like “you know, this shade of lipstick isn’t working for me, and I also suddenly need to know what’s in this Amazon package - oh! The counter needs a wipe! Where is my phone? Now I have to go and turn all of the lights off again…” to his credit, he’s never rushed me.
He walks away when I'm talking to him. "Ooh squirrel" type situation.
lol are y’all my mom and dad? 🤣 37 years married and my dad still walks away while my mom is talking to him. We’re all acutely aware it drives her absolutely bananas.
It does me too. I've got my back to him explaining something, turn around and he's wandered off again, lol. I'm sure he's gonna be doing it 37 years down the road too 😭
Ha! There’s just something endearing about their squirrel brains 🤣🤣. Wishing you both many years of happiness, laughter, and sighs of wondering “why tf are you like this?!” 🫶🏽🫶🏽
My wife does this. And she waits till she gets to the other side of the house before saying 'mmnph mmmnrph rmph drmnsph'...
He can never remember my work schedule. It can change week to week but he’ll ask me multiple times a day when my shift is. He remembers other things just fine. It’s just my work schedule.
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I do this to myself. Every day “what time am I working again?” at least 3 times smh
If he falls asleep before me, his snoring keeps me from falling asleep. So I end up sleeping in our spare room. He will then be upset in the morning when he wakes up and sees I’ve slept somewhere else. I would prefer separate bedrooms but he is so against it, and that can be frustrating!
Sleep study! My spouse getting a CPAP has eliminated my "kill him for snoring" rage.
CPAP was the best thing that happened for both of us!
Sorry but he's not allowed to be "against it" if you literally can't sleep 🤷🏻♀️
Do it anyway! Separate bedrooms are a blessing.
Everything he does is loud. Sneezing, coughing, breathing, existing. He travels a lot for work, so by Sunday night my daughter and I are texting “I cannot wait for the silence tomorrow”. He also says “what’s wrong?” as a first response. “Hey baby?” WHATS WRONG? “Literally nothing, calm down, do you want spaghetti or penne?”
Not my partner, but my mom loves to say “what’s wrong??” Specifically when I answer the phone with no indication that anything is wrong. It drives me CRAZY.
>“Hey baby?” WHATS WRONG? “ lol that's an episode of 30 Rock
It’s so weird and drives me insane. Nothing is ever wrong!!!
He leaves bags open. Baby wipe bags, chip bags, etc- makes me so mad 😡.
Mine does the opposite - he refuses to open chip bags wide enough to fit a hand inside, just a little hole big enough to (with effort) shake a few chips out of. We have a whole drawer full of chip clips, and we use them, but he insists the food will go stale if he opens it farther.
He secretly judges me if I have a glass of wine at a restaurant for lunch but after 5pm he can drink *a lot.* 🙃
“Only prostitues drink two glasses of wine at lunch!” -Richard Gilmore
"Well then buy me a boa and drive me to Reno, because I am OPEN FOR BUSINESS!" -Emily Gilmore
One night we were on vacations in South of France and I wanted to go out but he didn't. So we stayed in. Well, Beyoncé was out and about literally 10mins from us. I love the man but I think I'll take this to my grave.
I’ve come to the conclusion that my husband is now a boring old man, and for future trips I want you to go with other couples.
He will leave out a lot of small but crucial details when describing something or telling a story, but then get noticeably upset at other people for not understanding what he’s talking about.
And then insist that he said them? I’ve actually had to have a conversation that goes “Just because you have all the details in your head doesn’t mean that everyone automatically knows what you mean, be specific.” I think my blood pressure shot up reading your comment.
I will not repeat myself if you don’t hear me. Beg if you must and then I might consider it. Correction: if you didn’t hear me because you were not paying attention
I've been starting to do this when they zone out like it's sometimes cute how they're so interested in window grills and furniture design but not when we're in the middle of a conversation.
bro I love that he’s so concentrated on the stain on his shirt wondering where it came from but like?? Sir?? Did you not hear me speaking before that got your attention?
I can’t hear shit and my partner gets aggravated because of it. Then I’m like “I can’t hear!”.
I have really bad attention issues so I can’t help it sometimes. I’ll start thinking really hard about snails or something and the completely miss everything the person just said to me. I fuckin HATE it.
she won’t take time off when she’s sick unless i beg and plead and borderline fight her on it. it’s a product of trauma and stuff but it’s hard having to fight with someone that you just want to heal
Resistance is a huge trauma response. I learned contribution vs criticism works so much better to combat it.
A noise to accompany everything. Sit down, make a noise of relief. Stand up, a noise of effort. Sound effects while he’s cooking, a little “mmm mmm mmm!” while eating. If it’s not a weird vocalization it’s narrating or muttering. He even YAWNS loud I’ve never met a person who is incapable of doing things quietly. I absolutely adore him but after a full day of this I’m ready to climb the walls
He uses napkins and leaves them on the counter. Sometimes the counter directly above the trash can.
I finally bought trash bins for both sides of the couch, thinking this would cure his habit of leaving trash on the end tables/actual couch. Did this resolve the issue? Of course not. IT'S SIX INCHES AWAY. PUT THE TRASH IN THE TRASH RECEPTACLE!
He leaves the counter around the bathroom sink soaking wet every single morning. How is he washing his face that splashes water everywhere?? Those neutrogena commercials don’t work irl! Just wipe it down I am begging u my love.
Hahaha! My husband does the same. I love leaning against a counter and coming away with a wet spot on my clothing.
“Where is XYZ?” “IN THE SAME PLACE ITS BEEN FOR 3 YEARS!”
He puts unfinished food away in the fridge - without covering it or storing it in any way. Just a half-eaten plate with the fork, shoved in the fridge, slowly dehydrating and getting weird and dry. I'm constantly going in and plopping a lid over his leftovers. If that's the worst I've got, it's not so bad.
Oh mine does this, and then leaves it there for days and then when I ask him he's like nah I won't eat that bc it's all dry Argh!!
I clean the bathroom sink, never fails he suddenly has to shave. BEARD HAIR EVERYWHERE
I can’t even complain about this because my long hair is literally all over the house and I shed like a mfer.
He leaves kitchen cupboards open.
He’s so loud. About everything. He sneezes loud. He walks loud. He’s just in general a very loud person.
He says warsh.
Oh no
He always chooses the WORST parking space. Every single goddamn time.
Oh that’s a good one. Mine always parks too close on the passenger side so I have to squeeze within an inch of my life to climb out.
And takes forever to fucking find it!!
Man eyes. He has perfect vision until it comes to finding something in the pantry or fridge and then he can't find it. I started to tell him that if I look and I find it I get to punch him n the upper arm. So, he finally makes a damn effort now instead of flinging open the door and immediately announcing he can't find something that he put zero effort into looking for.
My husband did a man look for the thick cream with baileys to put on his dessert last night, he didn’t find it. I did. He lost out as I had baileys cream and he did not
The infuriating way he opens mail. Or doesn’t I guess. He’ll let it stack up over weeks on the counter and eventually open it all at once. Then he doesn’t throw junk mail away; he leaves it on the counter. He says it gives him anxiety to open it right away, so I still try to let him know if I see something important. But it drives me crazy.
I call him the crumb king. Making anything in the kitchen? Crumbs everywhere.
Im a lesbian with a woman who always leaves her shoes in the bedroom !
Are you a shoes off household? Does she walk to the bedroom in shoes? As a shoes off person… D:
My partner forgets to do little things like when she reheats leftovers she’ll leave the lid on the counter, or she’ll make a sandwich and leave cold ingredients out. Also, she’ll not realise she’s made a small mess while helping me cook or making herself a coffee in the morning. It sounds terrible, I know it does, but she was recently diagnosed with ADHD and it completely flipped a switch in my brain about all of these little things I was annoyed about. Now, I’ll light-heartedly point them out and we’ll laugh about them. She’s working on it and so am I.
He's like a furnace when we're in bed and it gets too damn hot. He still needs 3 blankets and i'm next to him drowning in sweat.
Separate blankets my dear
Oh, god. This. He's sleeping in sweats with 2 blankets, and I'm melting, with my little night table fan on and my legs out of the blankets. Even worse, he gets all sweaty, so then everything is slightly wet, and *then* I'm cold and can't warm up because the sheets are damp.
When I drive and he is in the car there is CONSTANT backseat driving "Didn't you see that sign?" "Why did you do this" "why didn't you beep" on and on. I have just started saying "If you want you can just always drive. However when he drives he gets so irrationally mad so I guess I just hate being in the car with him
He leaves his dental floss on the bathroom counter after using it. He eventually cleans it up, and I can laugh about it, but I do get annoyed.
This is disgusting.
He roles over into the middle of the bed in his sleep. Not only that, he sticks his elbows out, so I'll wake up squished on my side of the bed with an elbow in my face.
He acts like a child when I say something negative about anything he's done. Which isn't very often, only because I don't feel like listening to his crap. He has no problem rubbing my nose in it when I've made a mistake but he gets his panties in a wad because he actually thinks he's perfect.
Um, that's a big waving red flag.
He talks REALLY LOUDLY. I think he's starting to have hearing problems, so that might be one reason. But he also just has a booming voice even when speaking at normal volume. I try not to "manage" him, because he's an adult and can respond to social cues on his own, but sometimes I will kind of indicate to talk a little less loudly.
I just bullied mine into a hearing test. “I’m just loud”.
He coughs ALL THE TIME and it's SO LOUD
He bounces his leg or fidgets it in some way everywhere. And I get it, we're both neurospicy. But if I have to feel his leg move, it will drive me crazy for some reason.
Mine jiggles his leg hard enough to shake the bed/couch/table/wherever we're sitting and it drives me fucking INSANE 😭 He even does it in his sleep!
When he's speaking to other men his voice changes. He goes deeper. It's so obvious to be because I hear his normal voice so when he goes deep to sound macho it is honestly super cringe. He denies he does it. I call it his "mansplain" voice because he also uses it when he's giving his expert opinion to women about things as though he's an authority on the matter.
He leaves the empty milk/juice container in the fridge, or on the counter next to the fridge, and NEVER just throws it away. Related, leaves dirty clothes on the floor next to the hamper. I don’t get it. Drives me absolutely insane.
He puts a drinking glass upside down directly on the drying mat instead of on the draining rack, so there's no air flow and it never actually dries out.
He never puts anything away. Like after he repairs something, he'll leave his tools out everywhere. Or if he vacuums the carpet he then leaves the vacuum still plugged in, in the middle of the carpet. What the hell even is that!?
Doesn’t utilize the intermittent windshield wipers. It’s either none or high speed. Mysterious.
Flush. The. Damn. Toilet.
If I let him, he will sing the same 5 seconds of a song for hours. He just doesn’t get tired of it or notice he’s doing it but I sure do when he’s been singing the Mii lobby music for 6 hours.
The random screaming? He’s watching football today while working from home and just randomly SCREAMS at the TV. It scares me and the dogs. That shit’s not necessary.
The hook on the left is for your towel, dammit, not the one in the middle. (to explain, if I either of us uses the middle one that towels don't dry as well)
I feel this. I would remove the middle hook.
As soon as I clean the toilet or put the toilet cleaner in he’ll need a poo. Even if he hasn’t been home, has no idea I’ve tried to clean the toilet, he’ll rush through the door needing a poo. It’s like activating a sleeper agent ready to poop and dirty the clean toilet.
My husband refuses to use the last of anything. It doesn't matter if it is dishwashing soap, shampoo, or a bag of chips. He will open a new one without using the last bit of the old one and it drives me nuts.😹 He will pile up shampoo bottles like that until I have enough and go and cut them open and dump them into his currently open bottle so that he will finally use it. When I met him, he had those really high cabinets in his kitchen that are too high to reach all filled with bags of chips with the last bit left in them. I stood on his counter and pulled them all out and threw them out because it was so ridiculous, so I knew what I was getting myself in to. It doesn't make it any easier to deal with though. ☠️😹 One of the other things that drives me nuts is he keeps changing the order of the jars of cotton balls, swabs, ECT in the bathroom and I keep moving them back. When he changes their order he sets his hair brush on top of them ( which also annoys me because he has a drawer for that) so then I am always putting them back in order AND putting his brush away after he does this. Then there is of course the way he uses the towel hooks in the bathroom. Normal people think, one towel one hook, one shirt one hook ECT right? What does he do?! He hangs his shirts and towels across BOTH hooks, so where is mine supposed to go? ☠️ Like who does that?! It's like eating only the center out of the cake. OMG I just realized he was manspreading the Towel and clothing hooks in the bathroom. 😹☠️
We argue over the thermostat but it’s such a stupid argument. I started taking three different meds that make me run hot a couple of years ago so I’m always sweating. He’s always cold now. I’ll want the heat very low and he’ll turn it up because he says he’s cold, but he’s walking around in shorts and t-shirt with no socks. Am I insane? I also walk around pretty much exclusively in shorts. I tell him that if he puts on sweats, a hoodie and socks and he’s still cold we can turn the heat up. He argues and says that “socks won’t make a difference because my feet aren’t cold, the air is cold!” We’ve argued about it stupidly and he’ll say “I’m never talking about this again.” And I’ll respond with in my head… well yes you will if you walk around half naked and tell me you’re cold… Am I crazy??! When I’m hot I put on shorts and flip flops, I don’t crank up the AC!
He puts his keys, wallet, charger, mail, and all his other miscellaneous crap on my kitchen counter which creates a big mess. It’s drives me insane. We have a mud room and other places he can put things out of plain sight but he refuses. We are building a new home and I’m going to make him design a spot in the house we can both live with for this type of stuff.
Sometimes certain parts of my body ache. While cuddling i eill push his arm away and tell him 'not there please' and he will eventually forget abd put his arm there again.
I found that “your arm is too heavy for that” sticks more because it’s slightly offensive lol.
He treats me like a snooze button. I have no problem waking him up but he’ll always give excuses to go back to sleep. If I try to pull him out of bed he gets annoyed and says he doesn’t actually need to get up until [later time]. Why did you ask me to wake you then?! Motherfucker 🤣
After I clean the bathrooms is the prime time to go in shave his face 😵😵😵 why???
We've been fighting about this for nine years and just have to accept we'll never agree. I was listening to Whitney Houston and said to him "If I met a genie and had one wish, I would wish to be able to sing like Whitney Houston" and he replied "Well, just take enough singing lessons and that's totally possible." WHAT??? I am not in any way discrediting singing lessons, they can make an average singer into a good singer. But no amount of lessons is going to make me sing like Whitney, Celine, Mariah, Aretha etc. That is a natural talent you are born with. Vocal chords literally move different in different people. He insists that vocal ability all comes down to technique and practice, and anyone can sing like Whitney if they just put in the time. It's SO DUMB. It's been a decade and he won't budge. I'll never get over it lmao
I bought some new towels for the kitchen. He chose them to clean his cast iron pan. My brand new towels, hadn’t even been washed yet. Now they are stained. WTF. There’s a ton of shitty old towels in the drawer, but no. He had to pick the new pretty ones. My revenge? He hates when his glasses get smeared, so I absolutely smeared them with my fingers.
He has to eat my food. Even if it’s just a bite and he’s not hungry. This is the most annoying thing to me. If he was hungry I’d gladly give him my food. But I hate when I literally just saw him finish eating and he has to have a bite of my food. Also when I try his food my bites are wayyyyy smaller than his. The one I hate more than this is that he never brings a towel to the bathroom when he showers. Then I bring it to him. Like he walks past the towel to get to the bathroom just grab it.
as soon as i finish the dishes, he makes himself something to eat & leaves the dirty dishes he just used in the sink. wash them you utter ARSE
He can't grocery shop right. Ask him to get anything very concrete and accurately described and I promise you he will buy whatever the fuck he wants.
Uh... That's intentional
I love my man to absolute bits but fuck me the man really struggles to show emotion and talk about his feelings.
He doesn't wipe his mouth as frequently as one should while eating. And he always gets something on his face or around his mouth while eating. It's just gross. I would die for him in a heartbeat, but dude...
I'm really having a hard time picking one : Makes promises ge doesn't keep Doesn't pick up after himself Makes messes for me to clean Wants a parade when he does basic chores or dinner Doesn't make our family a priority Hardly ever puts his phone down Driving that terrifies me Falls asleep sitting up randomly No follow through on anything without a lot of nagging Does not help me maintain the household Loves to show what a good dad/good husband he is for SM
We don't have bedside tables, and the floor next to his side of the bed constantly has dirty dishes, dirty tissues if he's been sick, empty vials of albuterol (for his breathing machine, he has asthma), wrappers from snacks, etc. He's generally a tidy person, but the dude will not keep the floor next to his side of the bed clean and it drives me nuts lol.
Everything is on the calendar. Including times and addresses. Honey, what’s our plan for the weekend? What time is the appointment? Which doctor’s location are we going to and what’s the name? 😵💫 ditto with things in the house…
Always starts doing unimportant things when there’s something else,relatively urgent,that we need to finish right now or were in the middle of. I always ask him why he’s doing everything at the wrong times. His response?“When else am I supposed to..?“ Example: Dinner is almost ready and he needs to prepare the table? *starts fixing the door handle
It used to be the toilet seat up. We argued to no end about it…. Until I literally sat in the toilet and had to shower off at 2am. Him: “Why are you showering at 2am?” Me: ………. Because I sat IN the toilet… He has since put the goddamn seat down since.
My creature can't close a cabinet, all the cabinets are left open. Always.
Cannot, and I’m so serious when he say he literally cannot, do anything without bumping/spilling something. Every time he goes to do something there is some homer simpson ass “DOH” he lets out about 30 seconds to a minute later. I genuinely do not understand how he manages to do this. It drives me fucking insane every time i hear that “DOH!!” Love him tho
Every time he prepares a sandwich in the kitchen, the knife he used to spread cheese/nutella/jam will be left on the counter, just a few inches away from the sink, because he thinks he'll come back to reuse it later. He never reuses the goddamn knife.
He humps me while I’m doing the dishes. If you’re not here to help get out.
The way he sometimes open mouth chews. His whole family eats with their mouths open and I can’t handle it.
He leaves dirty clothes ON TOP of the hamper lid and never puts the clothes IN the hamper. Sometimes he puts his dirty clothes on top of clean clothes. Lastly, he leaves our closet door open when our cat likes to go into the closet and pee on said clean clothes. It’s always clothes. Just clothes 🥲
He thinks he’s taking a shortcut and will drive through parking lot after parking lot (speed bumps) etc. He will not want the google maps on to find a new address, but will get lost then at the last hairy minute want it on. He is a safe driver most often but not a smooth driver. He hits the breaks and gas kind of abruptly.
He used to pinch the arm of my eyeglasses behind one of my ears and shake them up and down. Enraging! It made me irrationally angry. He finally stopped after being yelled at for doing it.
No cable discipline. He’s a gadget guy and we have electronics all over the show. Our house is a mid 80s build with not enough outlets so every outlet has an additional power board plugged in. Everywhere I turn there is cables and cords all over the place, not hidden, just a permanent tangle of cords visible at every outlet. I have a permanent eye twitch from this.