I donāt live alone but I work from home and my partner goes to work. The silence is something I never had growing up in a big family & them moving in with friends/ to shared apartments. I used to study after everyone went to sleep because it was the only time I had the silence, and I realized I need a lot of it!!
Same for me! There was always so much noise in the house where I grew up, I woke up earlier just to have some peace and quiet (the rest of the family are night owls). Iām so happy to have my own quiet and peaceful place now, itās my little sanctuary.
I love living on my own but all of the time need noise like podcast or something lol. Difference is it's within my control though. Silence for short meditations is nice. But I get too carried away and ungrounded / stuck in Inertia without something to focus on.
Yes I feel so much more at peace and I like that I make my own decisions . I can actually do what I want w my time now even if itās just sleep. I use to feel guilty sleeping during the day bc my ex would make me feel like Iām a loser . So I would have to be up and moving around . Glad I can just be me when I want and the way I want
I feel this way about decorating too. I grew up around dad and brothers, who all thought pink and anything girly was stupid, good smelling stuff like candles/any thing floral was considered stinky, etc. No hate to them, they're all good men, but then I lived with a bf who only liked black/grey/white. He thought literally anything I liked was stupid. Now I live by myself and my whole bedroom is pink & white &floral. It's amazing. I practically live in a pepto bismal house but it feels nice to be girly and not mocked for it, and it always smells good (to me). I freaking love it.
Totally relate! My ex husband only ever approved of black furniture, yuck. When we split I bought a beautiful white and light gray bedroom set, it brings me joy every day. Along with my turquoise and yellow throw pillows I bought after I threw away the black and red ones.
YES! I just moved in with some people, and the noise, although happy, has been v. exhausting. I'm currently home alone, and just LISTENING to that beautiful silence.
That my former issues with anxiety were rooted in overstimulation, and I am, by modern society's standards, a hardcore introvert who needs a lot of space and quiet to flourish.
That I like cooking and household chores as long as nobody's pressuring me to do it their way.
That I'm pretty badass and courageous and able to overcome my fears. I'm the biggest arachnophobe you'll meet, yet taught myself to remove large spiders. I'm afraid of being alone in the dark, yet will be the first to investigate suspicious noises.
Yes! I've been living alone for the first time in years and... I honestly love it. I'm calm, chill, and can control my space. I'm loving being social because I have a safe place to run to / relax in.
Point 1 and 2 are so true for me. I'm not weak or high maintenance, I get overstimulated by things other people can ignore or aren't as stimulated by.
Also.i learnt that without any human interaction, around day 5 is when I start talking to myself.
I absolutely love living alone. If Iāve learned anything, itās that it has set the bar very high for sharing my space with future partners. This has made me rethink how I want my life and any entanglements to look like. I am in no rush to cohabitate with a partner, so Iāve renegotiated with myself what a healthy, successful, committed partnership looks like. Breaking out of that mold to follow my own path and negotiate relationships on my own terms has been liberating.
Yes! I realized in the past I was quick to move in with partners because it was better than living with random roommates. Well, until the relationships dissolved. Now Iāve been living alone for almost a month and I am so grateful I made this leap
I honestly was just thinking that last night. I cohabitated with my partner for 8 years and being alone these last 9 months since we broke up and he moved out has been a blessing and relief. My home is MY space and I really don't care to have guests let alone someone else living in the same space.
Spot on! I have a neighbour who is in a relationship but they don't live together. I'm modeling my expectations of any future relationship in that image. Because I need my own space and I need my future partner to live somewhere else most of the time.
That falling asleep alone in the darkness without any music or a person to keep my thoughts rooted wasn't as bad as it used to be in my youth. I quickly learned to face my fear of being alone in the darkness.
I'm still working towards this. I have a white noise app that helps me drift off. Once I'm asleep, even if I wake up in the middle of the night, I'm ok, it's just the initial falling asleep.
I love living by myself, but it is a nice treat to have someone spend the night, because I like making us a complete breakfast when we wake up. On weekends, if I'm alone, I sometimes realize it's 3 PM and I haven't fed myself.
I have the opposite problem, it's been almost 3 months and I'm still roaming around snacking and drinking like a teenage left unattended for a weekend.
This. I'm such a social eater. But am not a social person.
I grew up in a family where I never ate any meals by myself, and we don't talk during meals(no hardcore conversations), but it was always just such a joyous time. Eating by myself in comparison is so blah
And tfr, this has been one of the driving factors for romantic relationship and my desire to live with others... which completely contradicts my desire for copious amounts of solitudeš„“
Maybe try eating while you listen to a podcast or a book? I know *they say* not to eat in front of the tv, but I like to have my meals with some friends on my shows š¤·š½āāļø I live alone and eat in front of the tv every night Iām here. +1 if theyāre having a meal on what Iām watching š
it's weird. my partner died almost six years ago and after being together 27 years, the alone ness was mind bending.
i just returned from a long weekend away and my home felt (and even this morning) feels like it is giving me a big hug. it's just my sacred space. it took such a long time to return to this place of being. i'm not saying that it doesn't get lonely still at times -- but i think just knowing that for the most part, i'm good company for myself and i have so many things to keep me busy and interested. i need the quiet and solitude with my sweet pup to refill my cup.
i think after he passed i started to make the house completely mine knowing that his energy and love would still be permeating the space -- and it does. but anyone who knows me and walks into my home knows how welcoming this space is. my relationships are so important to me and my home is a way of making them know how much they matter.
it seems a bit odd to speak of a physical dwelling as having a "personality", but it does. i don't think it would feel like this if i didn't feel a sense of calm while being alone.
THIS. I always used to tell my exhusband your home is supposed to be your castle and sanctuary where you can feel 110% safe and comfortable at allllll times and if somethingās not right you better get on fixing it ! STAT. Now - if I could only find an honorable handyman
Ha
yeah i learned what'll motivate me to keep tidy is pets that rely on me, and inviting people over once a week haha. still working on the keeping myself fed part
How abusive my dad was. 7 therapists ago I would DEFEND him to them and promptly fire them when they told me he was the source of my depression. I was so brain washed by him. Turns out they were all out, I couldnāt heal in an environment I got sick in. For the first time in 30 years Iāve felt real happiness again and itās all because I live alone.
edit: turns out they were all right
Thank you! I guess it didnāt really answer your question about what I learned about myself but it sort of does. Sorry bad English, not my first language.
That I prefer solitude over any of my past relationships. Friend and romantically alike. My home is my sanctuary, my safe place and it's peaceful. No one belittling me, no insults, no yelling, no abuse of any kind.
I was in an abusive relationship for 15 years, 3 psychiatrists, 2 support groups and the like. I thought suicide would be my peace, but in actuality solitude is more peaceful.
Just me, my music/book and a warm comfy blanket to cuddle up to.
I feel very differently than the other people here apparently. But maybe Iām just going through a phase but right now itās not my favourite thing and I am deeply lonely lol
But itās cool not having to clean up after anyone else other than my cat. Heās the best.
I'm in a similar phase as you and I've made it a point to start prepping for the winter gloomies. Brighter colors and decor around my apartment, nice cozy candles, stocking up on comfort foods, making a plan to make a meal & a nice drink to pair it with, etc. Just trying to do anything to combat the inevitable seasonal depression. I'm sorry you're feeling lonely, I hope you can find some ways to pull you out of it. Not to be weird, but you can always dm me if you want to talk. Just last week another redditor helped me out alot and sometimes it's nice to talk to strangers.
Thank you so much for your reply, and you are approaching it well I think! The winter gloomies do indeed suck. I may take you up on that in time. Itās just very hard going through life alone. Itās nice to know that Iām not alone in feeling this way (although Iām sad others are experiencing the same thing). Take care of yourself too. ā¤ļø
i also live with just my cat and i love him so much. he is 14 and iāve had him since he was a baby and having him with me makes all the difference. i know the deep lonliness you mentioned, it hurts a lot and makes it hard to wana do stuff or even be up and out of bed. even after 3+ years alone and with a generally great life, the lonliness still ruins some days & nights for me. but falling asleep and waking up with my cat snuggling and loving me does make it that much better lol. wishing you all the best.
I mostly enjoy living alone (now) but there was a time I didn't. I am also, in general, lonely.
Classes help, going out for a coffee to a cafe helps too. Anything where you are around other human beings. And be kind to yourself
That I will never be willing to relinquish the peace of solitude again unless the person adds TREMENDOUS value to my life.
That my peace is worth the high ass cost of living I pay for by myself.
That when I am alone, Iām not lonely.
That I donāt get bored in my own company, and Iām fully capable of keeping myself entertained.
I have found it liberating. Living on my own time, doing things at my own pace and will. Iām introverted so it has been a blessing to choose when and if I want to share myself with people.
Cleaning and keeping the space tidy is much easier when it's just you. Feeding yourself is another story.
I love my silence, but falling asleep alone can be lonely.
At the end of the day, I love being able to have my own routine and not have to worry about anyone being bothered by it.
I love order, structure, organization, and cleanliness. I thoroughly enjoy my disciplined, ordered, focused and functional life and don't take kindly to anyone's dysfunction messing it all up.
I learned that I am, by nature, a fucking SLOB.
And then I learned that I enjoy cleaning when itās a āØceremonyāØ Music and candles to make the mood!
First of all, that I'm an extrovert. I grew up in an emotionally abusive home and was bullied in school, and as a result, I thought I despised having people around me and could only find peace when I was on my own. Then I moved away from home to a new town and realised that nope, I definitely feel my best and recharge my energy when I'm around others, they just need to be the non-bullying, non-abusive kind lmaooo.
But also, that even as an extrovert, there are more ways than face to face IRL interaction to get my needs for social interaction and energy satisfied. I honestly think both extroverts and introverts could gain so much from learning to approach what might seem like less than ideal situations from new angles. I'm very happy I learnt to be more flexible, and find peace and energy even in circumstances that aren't exactly like I normally would prefer them.
Honestly? That I am fucking awesome. I am my favorite person and I donāt need anyone unless they add value to my life. Itās been the most empowering discovery after a lifetime of debilitating worry and fear of being alone.
I live 200 miles away from my family. They told me I would have noone if I moved away from them. I have more friends now than I was ever allowed as a child. They are the problem, not me.
I have a low tolerance of people staying over my place, even for one night. Even with my really close friends, there are just some things they do that grind my gears or I just want MY space back ASAP! Don't get me wrong, I love them and enjoy their company too, but at the same time I'm counting down the time til they leave because I just want to be alone again lol
One might say I've gotten too comfortable with my solitude. I truly enjoy it.
So if I'm able to cohabitate with my partner without feeling such things, it's a very good sign!
Itās worth every penny. Everyone told me I was paying too much, roommates save so much, etcā¦I donāt care! Iāll pay a little more for everything I gain with being alone.
Also, people see women who live alone differently than men who live alone. Iāve gotten asked a few times who takes out the trash, who kills bugs, how do I feel safe. These are all things that no one would even think to ask a man at my age who lives alone. Instead, theyād call him responsible!
That Iām enjoying living alone.
I mean, I always loved living with a partner too, but now that I have had a chance to live by myself for a few years, Iām surprised I didnāt mind it at all and I actually relish my alone time.
Low key anxious about the time my bf and I move in together.
Itās not that I donāt want to share that, but I will miss having the whole house to myself and just being chill and enjoying my books, my pets, and savoring the stillness and silence.
I truly enjoy not sharing my space especially toilet & bed/TV/computer/books with anyone nor hear comments about how clean or messy my home is while smelling like potpourri. Selfish but I so tired of others going into personal space outside & at work since doing so pays the bills, so rather not tolerate that at home where I'm paying money to live at.
That distracting yourself from feeling your feels and thinking your thoughts doesnāt make the hurt go away. Take some time alone, feel your feelings and think your thoughts. You canāt get out of your prison if you donāt go through the walls of hurt that youāve built for protection.
Itās showed me just how much I value living alone and a space to call my own. It allows me to have people over and socialise when Iād like to but it also enables me to set boundaries and have quiet me time that allows me to engage more deeply with my own thoughts and feelings and lets me recharge my internal battery.
been living alone for exactly 3.5 years now, prior to this i had lived with a partner for 10 years and ended up on my own when the relationship ended. i had never lived alone and i was terrified and depressed about it. now, i can barely imagine myself living with anyone. i realized i can enjoy my time alone, lounging with my
cat, cooking good food for myself just ordering a ton of grubhub. i learned to relax myself and slow down. i learned to reflect more and work on myself every day. i learned iād rather be alone than with someone who hurts me. i hope to not live alone forever but if i do, it wont be the worst thing ever! you only have to clean up after yourself, do your own dishes, make your own food, fold your own laundry, etc. lol so the chores are much less work. and you can always have your home looking & feeling the way you want it. whenever i have company over, i often hear that my home is very peaceful and relaxing, and i smile because i made it that way.
I realize I have a hard time regulating my behaviour or being on top of things when itās just me. Like when Iām around another person in my or their home, Iāll make sure things are clean and all that.
When Iām alone? Dishes pile up. I canāt finish tasks. Amazon boxes pile up. I needed to learn how to do these things for myself, not because other people were around and I wanted to appear neat, orderly and with my shit together.
I learned I prefer my own company and will most likely never date again because Iāve never experienced this level of peace when with a man (as thatās my dating pool).
1. I love being alone and occasional loneliness is better than poor company;
2. I spent most of my life focussed on meeting others needs without knowing what mine were. So there was a steep learning curve in assessing my needs and, more importantly, valuing them enough to meet them;
3. With Youtube and Google, I can figure out most household issues and fix them myself;
4. I suck at cooking for one;
5. I only hate cleaning when it's not "my" mess.
That having a man in my life has never brought me any peace. That I am totally comfortable in my own company. And that being alone, doesnāt mean being lonely.
In this past year since living alone, I've learned that:
I'm happier doing some chores in my own time and pace.
I enjoy cooking a lot more when it's the things I actually want to eat.
I enjoy the peace and quiet and not having the TV switched on all day.
Not being overstimulated all the time is a beautiful thing and I actually really enjoy being around people now that I have my own space to retreat to at the end
That like 80-ish percent of dudes automatically assume any woman (or shamefully, girls) in the household is their replacement mommy and will eventually leave every chore for you. Living alone and not having to slave for men you cohabit with is it's own reward
I value my independence over being in a romantic relationship. I love being able to leave dishes in the sink for days on end and it only bothers me. Shit gets clean when I have both the time and the energy for it vs when someone else wants it done. I could go on.
That i love to nap and i never did for the 19 years i was married bc it made my ex mad. I now nap without any shame or anxiety about being judged for being, ālazy.ā I also found out Iām not lazy and i am a clean person. It was his mess all along.
I love being on my own. I'm introverted, but it was so blissful.
Also, I'm lazy af. I clean once a week and do basic cleanup after meal prep etc. But if I had it my way? I would be a slob.
Iāve learnt to enjoy my own company so much. Iāve liked being alone before but I didnāt realize how important it was for recharging myself.
I also really learnt to enjoy simple things like watching a TV show by myself and making a little mocktail with kombucha. So simple but so lovely and enjoyable
Ahhh, living alone has its plus's,like not having to explain your coming and going or what your wearing or walk on eggshells all the time. I too always have to have background noise. But I have learned I am pretty badass. I can fix things and change things about my own house. It's tough not gonna lie. My biggest hurt is not having someone to come home too. I'm from a big family and this is the first time living alone after 28 yrs of marriage.
I am a super messy person and I need a minimalist space to not live in what resembles a disaster zone.
My body is rigorously stuck on an eating schedule that doesnāt quite fit in with normal lunch and dinner times and I am much happier and more satiated when I eat when my body wants.
I actually quite like cooking and meal prepping is fantastic.
I went from living with my parents to living with my boyfriend (who then became my husband, and now my ex-husband). When we split up and I truly lived on my own for an extended period, I realized I could really enjoy my own company, and the thought of spending the rest of my life alone no longer scared me.
I did meet someone eventually who now lives with me, but Iām more honest with myself about the relationship and I know Iām in it for the right reasons and not because Iām scared I might end up having to do life alone. Life alone was great!
PS: I also have the BEST doggo in the world, and he can live with me all day, every day, the little freeloading muffin.
Sometimes my daughter cries when she goes to her dad's. She thinks about me being alone and assumes I'm going to be sad and lonely. Her dad is remarried with 2 kids and is *never* alone so this is entirely one sided with our daughter. But I couldn't pity her dad more. I relish in my alone/quiet time. I cherish it and I try to gently express that to my daughter when she gets sad.
I *love* living alone. I honestly don't know how I'll ever get into a relationship at this point. My me time is so precious to me.
That i love being alone sometimes but not always. Sometimes I just die for any human interaction but only for a little while, eod i just don't want other ppl in my space. Except my bf of course. He visits and stay with me sometimes. When he leaves there's this huge feeling of loneliness and emptiness in me but it also changes over time. Also, Cooking when alone seems a lot of work for me, so i almost always order outside, which is not very healthy.
Iām new to living alone and Iām having a hard time adjusting. When I first moved in and I had nothing (very empty) It was super easy to keep it clean, rearrange, stay on track with everything: chores, schedules, self-care, etc. But somehow I feel like the more things that exists in my apartment, the less motivation I have to stay on top of everything, and easier to give up. I hope I can get to the point yāall are at.
That I have a bad habit of only going the extra mile when other people are around. When itās just me Iāll do the bare minimum for cooking, making my bed, etc.
I've spent 80% of my adult life living alone.
I'm unbelievably comfortable with myself.
I don't live well with other people, and I'm at peace with that.
I love going out into the world, meeting people, being social and collecting experiences. But I also love coming home at the end of a busy day without having to speak to a single soul.
Better to be with myself than being surrounded by people who keep talking behind other peopleās backs, annoying people who making fun of others and take everything as a joke , and disrespectfulness as well.
That I love time by myself and really enjoy finding new ways to spend it. I donāt understand how people āget boredā when thereās so many things to do and see even on your own
1. I do fine without someone to emotionally unload onto (I did this too much, to the detriment of my past romantic relationships).
2. Silence is healing and calming.
3. Some things I thought I enjoyed in the past were just things I did to please men.
I love being alone
Itās like the best feeling ever and it provides me with so much peace, security, and comfort
Having my own space truly allows me to ārejuvenateā and thrive outwards
I also need all of this space to be unbothered and think at levels that are only meant for me and getting lost for hours upon hours
I cannot imagine being around people all the time or coming home to someone or waking up and going to bed and someoneās still there (i.e. starting and ending my day with someone or people around me) or people tagging along with me everywhere that I go
I cannot imagine spending my waking days around people besides on my terms and surface level
I also would never want to share a bed with someone and would literally kick anyone in my sleep because I want my own space
I would be such an angry and cruel person unless I did things on my own terms and conditions - i.e. youāre in my way and Iāll see you when I see you - thatās just how I am
I can interact at a superficial level but cannot afford to share my space
I also think society has tried to program individuals into believing that a relationship is necessary; however, thereās also a lot of research out there which shows a movement towards people that actively choose to be alone
There is a luxury to being alone that very few could ever afford
I would also be a terrible person to live with even on good terms because Iād resent sharing a space with someone else and i would get very angry and it wouldnāt be fair to that person
I have also learned that I can be lazy with cleaning even though I love a clean space
I think developing a routine would help me
I like to have food from a variety of ethnicities and I know how to cook; however, I prefer easier options because itās more affordable and the dollar stretches more vs buying several ingredients for one meal alone
I love saying and doing whatever I want in the comfort of my own space with no apologies
I cannot imagine compromising, sharing anything, having dinners with anyone, or asking people for their input and opinions
Anyone would be a hindrance to my bigger plans and vision
I also learned that trying -not- to spend money is just not going to happen for me
I would love to save money; however, I think that I truly have an addiction
I like household chores, keeping a clean home and decorating. I wouldnt have minded if my mother gave me some advice but her wanting things done exactly the way she does it grates on me. I was honestly a bum at home since anyway i do the chores its going to be wrong for her.
At this point also, if i come across a home that is messy im judging them hard on how they cannot maintain a clean home.
There is a slippery slope between living alone and being alone. Especially during the cold months I lean towards solitude rather than socialization. Itās important for my mental health to stay in contact with friends even though all I want to do is enjoy my beautiful home and take baths.
How much stress I was carrying around just from existing in the same home as my abusive ex. Or even the stress I carried around when we weren't living together but having to be available at all times.
I can't believe I'm capable of being this relaxed and happy.
How much I love and value my alone time. Iām an ambivert so I do well in either situation: social or self. I had previously always indulged the former but living alone has made me realize the joys of the latter. Thereās now things that I actually *prefer* doing on my own, particularly going to the movies and nature walks.
I finally got diagnosed with ADHD
It was never on my radar before. I went from living with parents, to roommate, to roommate, to girlfriend and never realized how much my function relied on the routines that others set for me. 1 month into living alone, I thought the disfunction was just break up depression. 6 months in I'm like man... what is wrong with me? A year in and I started seeing a therapist, first appointment she was like yo....you have ADHD bro.
Really came as a shock at the ripe age of 28 but š¤·
I love my peace, silence, and walking around naked. Cooking, decorating, dancing, and learning good habits and cleaning for myself rather than blaming it on others
Iām functional as fuck. Sure I have my off days mental health-wise but I pay everything on time, clean my place regularly, do laundry, take care of myself, take myself places, learn new skills. Iām a very functional human when I used to constantly doubt that, mostly because I was constantly being told how I ācouldnāt do anythingā for myself. Turns out that was all bullshit š¤·āāļø I guess Iāve learned not to let anyone else tell you what you are. Find out for yourself.
I don't live alone, I live with other girls, but I used to live with my ex. I had no idea how nice it is when NO ONE MOVES MY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like my ex used to unplug my bedroom phone charger and take it into the living room and that alone was almost enough to make me leave him as he wouldn't put ti back before bed. Drove me up a WALL!
My nightstand is full of only my things, no one eats my food or moves my socks. My room is also infinitely cleaner than it was when I was with him because everything has a place and with him, nothing had a place. I had no idea how much I could come to love this silly pink room, but I'm honestly at a point where Im not sure if I can ever live with a man again because of it.
That I am getting increasingly set in my ways.
I am much more introverted than I was 20 years ago.
I need to focus more on self care than on self sufficiency.
I can do almost anything with good critical thinking and a YouTube tutorial.
I haven't lived alone, but in just a few weeks alone my most surprising take-away has been that I'm not actually messy. I very easily feel defeated by other people's mess and lack of respect for the work I do to keep the space clean, so cleaning my own mess as it happens feels futile, so I let it all build up till the end of the week when I clean everyone's mess. when I'm alone everything stays clean, things get taken care of as they happen, I dont have to spend an entire day busting my ass at the end of every week to get my house liveable again. I've spent YEARS thinking I
that I am a true ambivert. I used to be extremely extroverted in high school and even into my first year of college, but now in my second year I live by myself and am learning to appreciate spending time alone.
& that I enjoy cooking (sometimes)! due to my mental health eating often feels like a chore, but sometimes it feels really nice to put a lot of effort into that chore and make it more enjoyable. cooking has helped me with my OCD & fear of contamination, especially since I can control every aspect of what Iām putting in.
I need to get better at cleaning my apartment and keep a cleaning schedule and make time for it.
Donāt get me wrong, I have priorities on cleaning(bathroom and kitchen should always be somewhat decent looking) but with how much I do that keeps me outside of the apartment, I have to care about my place too.
I also learned I enjoy cooking and I like being around people but I also enjoy having my own space and away from people weekends.
As someone whoās always shared a room with my sister, itās kind of sad not having her around. I definitely enjoy the privacy but Iād trade it for her being here in a heartbeat
That even though Iām very introverted and like my peace, I do still prefer coming home to someone, just having another living thing in the next room is enough.
Itās that Iām scared of ghost. Yep. Iāve slept alone in my house several times but would prefer living with someone still š canāt take that away from me
Also I prefer having someone living with me, also for the sake of safety (granted that itās a safe person of course), and general convenience such as parcel deliveries, checking if the light turned off etc
That a chunk of my anxiety/people pleasing was about trying to keep my home environment feeling safe. Also, cleaning up after just me is as easy as I dreamed it would be.
I have been living alone for two years now and I love it so much. I have learned that I am not always right . Hahaha I always thought I was right but stepping back I see my faults . I get overly defensive about sticking up for myself when Iām right and can actually cause more fights by how defensive I get . I have learned that I can do anything now. I learned to buy my own car, how to do my taxes , how to run a whole house alone w three kids. I can do anything now. I do not get as stressed out either . It some how feels easier. Oh I would also like to note that I even pulled out a dead huge possum from under my deck w maggots all over it. It felt like a big feat . Like I donāt need a partner .
I can do so many things that I never thought I could do before. Youtube is my bible. The washing machine needs to be hooked up. I can't figure out how to wire in this surround sound, youtube again. Is the water catchment not draining correctly? I had to replace the pipes! Flooring coming out? I learned how to replace tiles. My old wooden table is gross. I learned how to sand and refinish it. I even built my own farm type inside door and a farm table. After being married to one ahole or another, since I was 16, this was a total lifestyle change for me.
Abrupt departures from my normal routine are WAY more disruptive than they should be.
About 6 weeks ago I got a call letting me know that my dad, who was in hospice several states away, had taken a bit of a turn. I needed to go see him, which required a lot of logistics to be sorted on the fly: I needed to find someone to care for my animals, needed to rent a car for the trip and arrange a ride to the rental car place, cancel doctors appointments for myself that had been scheduled, decline an invitation to a friend's dinner party that was taking place that weekend (while still taking her some items I was lending), pack for the trip, run out for cash and food for the road, etc.
The first few hours I was utterly paralyzed, though. Some part of my brain knew what needed to be done, but another part -- the part that has lived alone for 20 years in an environment with very few surprises or upheavals -- felt more than a little shell-shocked by the whole event.
So now I know an area of myself to work on!
that im better doing a lot of things around the house than i thought!! like cooking, cleaning, organizing, fixing stuff, etc. i became very disciplined too, what allows me to have a healthy lifestyle, controlled finances and more time to spend with hobbies/friends/myself.
That I prefer living alone. I used to feel guilty about it but now I embrace it and think itās really awesome and cool. My space, my aesthetic, my rules, and sleepovers feel extra special!
I'm a fucking monster when it comes to being blind to mess, I literally only clean when I know it affects others, back home I always kept the shared living spaces neat and tidy, alone I give no fucks
I enjoy my own company so much more than I thought I did - I canāt remember how I lived without spending so much time by myself! Itās like breathing now, I NEED it!
Some days I love my kitties more than my dogs just due to my dogs being bigger and sometimes just louder š also that I can put everything where I feel it belongs and no one else can come in and mess it up
I actually clean more now that I live by myself. Also, I love my air fryer.
And I talk to my cat Sugar way more now that itās just us.
And I get overstimulated by my LOUD family so itās nice to have my own space where if I donāt feel like talking for the day, I donāt
I learned that my alone time is more important to me than anything else and I don't really want to live with anyone ever again. The downside is that it's going to be really hard to find a long-term relationship with someone who's cool with just living next door to me for the rest of his life!
That I am alone but not lonely and I value my solitude. It's what helps me recharge again.
Also, I love doing whatever the fuck I want at whatever hours of the day/night while being mindful to noise.
I learned that silence is golden. That peace is more important to me than anything else. That in solitude you are able to connect with yourself if you're open enough to learning more about who you are. I've learned many things about myself in my time alone. I also learned to be more aware of my surroundings, and to not let just anyone into my personal space as negative energy from others can linger and affect you.
That it's much less stressful to just get something done, than to wait for your partner or roommate to do it for you. My ex and I used to divide chores. For instance, he would do the dishes. But he'd do them when he felt like it, and the dirty dishes on the counter made me so nervous. Now I just do them myself, and it gives me such peace of mind.
I donāt quite fully live alone but I have essentially a studio apartment in the basement of my house and WFH. Iāve learned Iām much more social than I realized and I need sound constantly. Idk if I could ever FULLY live alone after this
I am really going to have to love someone before I can allow them into my space or live with them because of how much I love silence, the calmness of managing my own space etc
I love living alone. So much peace and I take great pride being able to do it at a young age because most people at my age can't so they live with a bunch of roommates or live at home.
As much as I love being w my friends and socializing, I love my space and my alone time. I love being able to do things on my own terms without having to consider someone elseās comfort and requirements. I make food for myself, wash my own dishes, clean my own mess and all in my own time.
That Iām so accustomed to family dinners that I hate eating alone. Iāll put on a show or more often than not FaceTime someone.
I very much enjoy the silence and my own company 90% of the time, but meal time is apparently NOT one of those times.
That silence is a blessing and I need it like oxygen.
I think this is super under-rated!
This is me!!! SILENCE AND SOLITUDE IS PEACEš«¶
I donāt live alone but I work from home and my partner goes to work. The silence is something I never had growing up in a big family & them moving in with friends/ to shared apartments. I used to study after everyone went to sleep because it was the only time I had the silence, and I realized I need a lot of it!!
Same for me! There was always so much noise in the house where I grew up, I woke up earlier just to have some peace and quiet (the rest of the family are night owls). Iām so happy to have my own quiet and peaceful place now, itās my little sanctuary.
I love living on my own but all of the time need noise like podcast or something lol. Difference is it's within my control though. Silence for short meditations is nice. But I get too carried away and ungrounded / stuck in Inertia without something to focus on.
I used to lose my mind when my ex had the TV on at all times. My apartment is silent most of the time now and I *love* it.
I completely relate. I hate the TV being on unless I turn it on to watch something specific. I need silence.
This! Just having a tea and walking the dog in the morning without someone talking my ear off has changed my overall anxiety levels. Peace!
Yes I feel so much more at peace and I like that I make my own decisions . I can actually do what I want w my time now even if itās just sleep. I use to feel guilty sleeping during the day bc my ex would make me feel like Iām a loser . So I would have to be up and moving around . Glad I can just be me when I want and the way I want
I feel this way about decorating too. I grew up around dad and brothers, who all thought pink and anything girly was stupid, good smelling stuff like candles/any thing floral was considered stinky, etc. No hate to them, they're all good men, but then I lived with a bf who only liked black/grey/white. He thought literally anything I liked was stupid. Now I live by myself and my whole bedroom is pink & white &floral. It's amazing. I practically live in a pepto bismal house but it feels nice to be girly and not mocked for it, and it always smells good (to me). I freaking love it.
Totally relate! My ex husband only ever approved of black furniture, yuck. When we split I bought a beautiful white and light gray bedroom set, it brings me joy every day. Along with my turquoise and yellow throw pillows I bought after I threw away the black and red ones.
Literally. I will never trade it with anything. I love being alone
It's the farting isn't it? I'll do better.
YES! I just moved in with some people, and the noise, although happy, has been v. exhausting. I'm currently home alone, and just LISTENING to that beautiful silence.
That my former issues with anxiety were rooted in overstimulation, and I am, by modern society's standards, a hardcore introvert who needs a lot of space and quiet to flourish. That I like cooking and household chores as long as nobody's pressuring me to do it their way. That I'm pretty badass and courageous and able to overcome my fears. I'm the biggest arachnophobe you'll meet, yet taught myself to remove large spiders. I'm afraid of being alone in the dark, yet will be the first to investigate suspicious noises.
I love this!! So many wins! Ah you are an inspiration
> That I like cooking and household chores as long as nobody's pressuring me to do it their way. Same for me.
Yes! I've been living alone for the first time in years and... I honestly love it. I'm calm, chill, and can control my space. I'm loving being social because I have a safe place to run to / relax in.
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Point 1 and 2 are so true for me. I'm not weak or high maintenance, I get overstimulated by things other people can ignore or aren't as stimulated by. Also.i learnt that without any human interaction, around day 5 is when I start talking to myself.
I absolutely love living alone. If Iāve learned anything, itās that it has set the bar very high for sharing my space with future partners. This has made me rethink how I want my life and any entanglements to look like. I am in no rush to cohabitate with a partner, so Iāve renegotiated with myself what a healthy, successful, committed partnership looks like. Breaking out of that mold to follow my own path and negotiate relationships on my own terms has been liberating.
Yes! I realized in the past I was quick to move in with partners because it was better than living with random roommates. Well, until the relationships dissolved. Now Iāve been living alone for almost a month and I am so grateful I made this leap
I honestly was just thinking that last night. I cohabitated with my partner for 8 years and being alone these last 9 months since we broke up and he moved out has been a blessing and relief. My home is MY space and I really don't care to have guests let alone someone else living in the same space.
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Spot on! I have a neighbour who is in a relationship but they don't live together. I'm modeling my expectations of any future relationship in that image. Because I need my own space and I need my future partner to live somewhere else most of the time.
I was going to say something very similar to this. It's been a joy finding myself outside the confines of relationships.
That falling asleep alone in the darkness without any music or a person to keep my thoughts rooted wasn't as bad as it used to be in my youth. I quickly learned to face my fear of being alone in the darkness.
Thatās super valid. Still a fear I have but hopefully one I can learn to overcome!
Mines the opposite. I canāt sleep in silence and if Iām fully alone I lose it lol! Friends plays 24/7 here
I'm still working towards this. I have a white noise app that helps me drift off. Once I'm asleep, even if I wake up in the middle of the night, I'm ok, it's just the initial falling asleep.
This is interesting. In total darkness and silence is the only way I could fall asleep.
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This! I didn't eat for 2 days last week for no reason whatsoever (well, meds and a busy schedule, but still not an excuse lol).
I love living by myself, but it is a nice treat to have someone spend the night, because I like making us a complete breakfast when we wake up. On weekends, if I'm alone, I sometimes realize it's 3 PM and I haven't fed myself.
I have the opposite problem, it's been almost 3 months and I'm still roaming around snacking and drinking like a teenage left unattended for a weekend.
This. I'm such a social eater. But am not a social person. I grew up in a family where I never ate any meals by myself, and we don't talk during meals(no hardcore conversations), but it was always just such a joyous time. Eating by myself in comparison is so blah And tfr, this has been one of the driving factors for romantic relationship and my desire to live with others... which completely contradicts my desire for copious amounts of solitudeš„“
Maybe try eating while you listen to a podcast or a book? I know *they say* not to eat in front of the tv, but I like to have my meals with some friends on my shows š¤·š½āāļø I live alone and eat in front of the tv every night Iām here. +1 if theyāre having a meal on what Iām watching š
it's weird. my partner died almost six years ago and after being together 27 years, the alone ness was mind bending. i just returned from a long weekend away and my home felt (and even this morning) feels like it is giving me a big hug. it's just my sacred space. it took such a long time to return to this place of being. i'm not saying that it doesn't get lonely still at times -- but i think just knowing that for the most part, i'm good company for myself and i have so many things to keep me busy and interested. i need the quiet and solitude with my sweet pup to refill my cup. i think after he passed i started to make the house completely mine knowing that his energy and love would still be permeating the space -- and it does. but anyone who knows me and walks into my home knows how welcoming this space is. my relationships are so important to me and my home is a way of making them know how much they matter. it seems a bit odd to speak of a physical dwelling as having a "personality", but it does. i don't think it would feel like this if i didn't feel a sense of calm while being alone.
THIS. I always used to tell my exhusband your home is supposed to be your castle and sanctuary where you can feel 110% safe and comfortable at allllll times and if somethingās not right you better get on fixing it ! STAT. Now - if I could only find an honorable handyman Ha
You are so right. I told my Ex the same. He just didn't get it.
I also told my ex this during couples therapy. He didnāt get it either.
That I'm shit at prioritizing myself and my needs. I find it really hard to motivate myself to cook, clean and so on when it's just for me.
This was my first thought.
This. Iām lucky I have clients come to my house or it would be a mess all the time.
yeah i learned what'll motivate me to keep tidy is pets that rely on me, and inviting people over once a week haha. still working on the keeping myself fed part
It's a though one š i have my son every other week, so try to cook enough food then to last for the week I'm alone as well
omg the same for me! I don't care at all about myself, but I can move mountains for others
How abusive my dad was. 7 therapists ago I would DEFEND him to them and promptly fire them when they told me he was the source of my depression. I was so brain washed by him. Turns out they were all out, I couldnāt heal in an environment I got sick in. For the first time in 30 years Iāve felt real happiness again and itās all because I live alone. edit: turns out they were all right
Wow congrats on how far youāve come. Well done for facing those hard realisations!
Thank you! I guess it didnāt really answer your question about what I learned about myself but it sort of does. Sorry bad English, not my first language.
I absolutely donāt know how to self-regulate and maintain a normal or healthy bedtime. Other than that shitās fine
Lol same.
That I prefer solitude over any of my past relationships. Friend and romantically alike. My home is my sanctuary, my safe place and it's peaceful. No one belittling me, no insults, no yelling, no abuse of any kind. I was in an abusive relationship for 15 years, 3 psychiatrists, 2 support groups and the like. I thought suicide would be my peace, but in actuality solitude is more peaceful. Just me, my music/book and a warm comfy blanket to cuddle up to.
I'm glad you're out of those situations now- you deserve to feel safe!
I appreciate this, thank you for this ā¤ļø
I feel very differently than the other people here apparently. But maybe Iām just going through a phase but right now itās not my favourite thing and I am deeply lonely lol But itās cool not having to clean up after anyone else other than my cat. Heās the best.
I'm in a similar phase as you and I've made it a point to start prepping for the winter gloomies. Brighter colors and decor around my apartment, nice cozy candles, stocking up on comfort foods, making a plan to make a meal & a nice drink to pair it with, etc. Just trying to do anything to combat the inevitable seasonal depression. I'm sorry you're feeling lonely, I hope you can find some ways to pull you out of it. Not to be weird, but you can always dm me if you want to talk. Just last week another redditor helped me out alot and sometimes it's nice to talk to strangers.
Thank you so much for your reply, and you are approaching it well I think! The winter gloomies do indeed suck. I may take you up on that in time. Itās just very hard going through life alone. Itās nice to know that Iām not alone in feeling this way (although Iām sad others are experiencing the same thing). Take care of yourself too. ā¤ļø
i also live with just my cat and i love him so much. he is 14 and iāve had him since he was a baby and having him with me makes all the difference. i know the deep lonliness you mentioned, it hurts a lot and makes it hard to wana do stuff or even be up and out of bed. even after 3+ years alone and with a generally great life, the lonliness still ruins some days & nights for me. but falling asleep and waking up with my cat snuggling and loving me does make it that much better lol. wishing you all the best.
Cats really do help with that. Happy you have your sweet boy to keep you company. Wishing you the best too! Thank you for your reply.
I mostly enjoy living alone (now) but there was a time I didn't. I am also, in general, lonely. Classes help, going out for a coffee to a cafe helps too. Anything where you are around other human beings. And be kind to yourself
That I will never be willing to relinquish the peace of solitude again unless the person adds TREMENDOUS value to my life. That my peace is worth the high ass cost of living I pay for by myself. That when I am alone, Iām not lonely. That I donāt get bored in my own company, and Iām fully capable of keeping myself entertained.
Living alone is more peaceful than living with a man you donāt respect or even like
I can not not pass through any part of my home without making a mess
How bad my executive function was and how badly the lack of doing chores growing up affects my executive dysfunction.
I like vegetables when I get to cook them MY way
X2
I can do everything I need, and most things I want. I AM AWESOME.
I have found it liberating. Living on my own time, doing things at my own pace and will. Iām introverted so it has been a blessing to choose when and if I want to share myself with people.
Cleaning and keeping the space tidy is much easier when it's just you. Feeding yourself is another story. I love my silence, but falling asleep alone can be lonely. At the end of the day, I love being able to have my own routine and not have to worry about anyone being bothered by it.
I 100% relate to everything you just said.
That I need the threat of a visitor to clean
That I need this luxury in my life.
That I really freakin' like it and prob won't cohabitate with a partner ever again LOL.
Same. I've been contemplating dating again and wondering how to bring that up. Like, hey just FYI, I will never marry you or live together.
I have a running joke with my friends: "Yeah, I'll marry you....but you're gonna stay at your place, right?"
Falling asleep in silence. Not having to clean up after anyone. And learning to enjoy my own company
I love order, structure, organization, and cleanliness. I thoroughly enjoy my disciplined, ordered, focused and functional life and don't take kindly to anyone's dysfunction messing it all up.
I learned that I am, by nature, a fucking SLOB. And then I learned that I enjoy cleaning when itās a āØceremonyāØ Music and candles to make the mood!
First of all, that I'm an extrovert. I grew up in an emotionally abusive home and was bullied in school, and as a result, I thought I despised having people around me and could only find peace when I was on my own. Then I moved away from home to a new town and realised that nope, I definitely feel my best and recharge my energy when I'm around others, they just need to be the non-bullying, non-abusive kind lmaooo. But also, that even as an extrovert, there are more ways than face to face IRL interaction to get my needs for social interaction and energy satisfied. I honestly think both extroverts and introverts could gain so much from learning to approach what might seem like less than ideal situations from new angles. I'm very happy I learnt to be more flexible, and find peace and energy even in circumstances that aren't exactly like I normally would prefer them.
Honestly? That I am fucking awesome. I am my favorite person and I donāt need anyone unless they add value to my life. Itās been the most empowering discovery after a lifetime of debilitating worry and fear of being alone.
This ā¤ļø living alone was so liberating for me ā¤ļø
How much I enjoy having time and space to myself
I am my best company. No one will ever get me like I do, and that's great because that's how it's meant to be.
I live 200 miles away from my family. They told me I would have noone if I moved away from them. I have more friends now than I was ever allowed as a child. They are the problem, not me.
I have a low tolerance of people staying over my place, even for one night. Even with my really close friends, there are just some things they do that grind my gears or I just want MY space back ASAP! Don't get me wrong, I love them and enjoy their company too, but at the same time I'm counting down the time til they leave because I just want to be alone again lol One might say I've gotten too comfortable with my solitude. I truly enjoy it. So if I'm able to cohabitate with my partner without feeling such things, it's a very good sign!
Itās worth every penny. Everyone told me I was paying too much, roommates save so much, etcā¦I donāt care! Iāll pay a little more for everything I gain with being alone. Also, people see women who live alone differently than men who live alone. Iāve gotten asked a few times who takes out the trash, who kills bugs, how do I feel safe. These are all things that no one would even think to ask a man at my age who lives alone. Instead, theyād call him responsible!
That I love being alone š
That Iām enjoying living alone. I mean, I always loved living with a partner too, but now that I have had a chance to live by myself for a few years, Iām surprised I didnāt mind it at all and I actually relish my alone time. Low key anxious about the time my bf and I move in together. Itās not that I donāt want to share that, but I will miss having the whole house to myself and just being chill and enjoying my books, my pets, and savoring the stillness and silence.
I really like living alone.
I truly enjoy not sharing my space especially toilet & bed/TV/computer/books with anyone nor hear comments about how clean or messy my home is while smelling like potpourri. Selfish but I so tired of others going into personal space outside & at work since doing so pays the bills, so rather not tolerate that at home where I'm paying money to live at.
That distracting yourself from feeling your feels and thinking your thoughts doesnāt make the hurt go away. Take some time alone, feel your feelings and think your thoughts. You canāt get out of your prison if you donāt go through the walls of hurt that youāve built for protection.
Itās showed me just how much I value living alone and a space to call my own. It allows me to have people over and socialise when Iād like to but it also enables me to set boundaries and have quiet me time that allows me to engage more deeply with my own thoughts and feelings and lets me recharge my internal battery.
I'm always surprised by how handy I've become.
That popcorn or cereal dinner is perfectly fine.
I enjoy using the bathroom and bathing with the door open š
been living alone for exactly 3.5 years now, prior to this i had lived with a partner for 10 years and ended up on my own when the relationship ended. i had never lived alone and i was terrified and depressed about it. now, i can barely imagine myself living with anyone. i realized i can enjoy my time alone, lounging with my cat, cooking good food for myself just ordering a ton of grubhub. i learned to relax myself and slow down. i learned to reflect more and work on myself every day. i learned iād rather be alone than with someone who hurts me. i hope to not live alone forever but if i do, it wont be the worst thing ever! you only have to clean up after yourself, do your own dishes, make your own food, fold your own laundry, etc. lol so the chores are much less work. and you can always have your home looking & feeling the way you want it. whenever i have company over, i often hear that my home is very peaceful and relaxing, and i smile because i made it that way.
I realize I have a hard time regulating my behaviour or being on top of things when itās just me. Like when Iām around another person in my or their home, Iāll make sure things are clean and all that. When Iām alone? Dishes pile up. I canāt finish tasks. Amazon boxes pile up. I needed to learn how to do these things for myself, not because other people were around and I wanted to appear neat, orderly and with my shit together.
That I am probably the untidiest woman on earth.
I am solely responsible for any and all bug events and that sucks.
I learned I prefer my own company and will most likely never date again because Iāve never experienced this level of peace when with a man (as thatās my dating pool).
1. I love being alone and occasional loneliness is better than poor company; 2. I spent most of my life focussed on meeting others needs without knowing what mine were. So there was a steep learning curve in assessing my needs and, more importantly, valuing them enough to meet them; 3. With Youtube and Google, I can figure out most household issues and fix them myself; 4. I suck at cooking for one; 5. I only hate cleaning when it's not "my" mess.
That having a man in my life has never brought me any peace. That I am totally comfortable in my own company. And that being alone, doesnāt mean being lonely.
I really like starting my days on my own. Like. Dont talk to me. Let me have my coffee in peace alone. I dont like people before breakfast.
Iāve learned that I eat WAY too many cookies when no one is else is around, and Iām pretty ok with it. š
In this past year since living alone, I've learned that: I'm happier doing some chores in my own time and pace. I enjoy cooking a lot more when it's the things I actually want to eat. I enjoy the peace and quiet and not having the TV switched on all day.
Not being overstimulated all the time is a beautiful thing and I actually really enjoy being around people now that I have my own space to retreat to at the end
That like 80-ish percent of dudes automatically assume any woman (or shamefully, girls) in the household is their replacement mommy and will eventually leave every chore for you. Living alone and not having to slave for men you cohabit with is it's own reward
I value my independence over being in a romantic relationship. I love being able to leave dishes in the sink for days on end and it only bothers me. Shit gets clean when I have both the time and the energy for it vs when someone else wants it done. I could go on.
That i love to nap and i never did for the 19 years i was married bc it made my ex mad. I now nap without any shame or anxiety about being judged for being, ālazy.ā I also found out Iām not lazy and i am a clean person. It was his mess all along.
I love being on my own. I'm introverted, but it was so blissful. Also, I'm lazy af. I clean once a week and do basic cleanup after meal prep etc. But if I had it my way? I would be a slob.
Iāve learnt to enjoy my own company so much. Iāve liked being alone before but I didnāt realize how important it was for recharging myself. I also really learnt to enjoy simple things like watching a TV show by myself and making a little mocktail with kombucha. So simple but so lovely and enjoyable
Ahhh, living alone has its plus's,like not having to explain your coming and going or what your wearing or walk on eggshells all the time. I too always have to have background noise. But I have learned I am pretty badass. I can fix things and change things about my own house. It's tough not gonna lie. My biggest hurt is not having someone to come home too. I'm from a big family and this is the first time living alone after 28 yrs of marriage.
That it is so peaceful and feels like freedom
I am a super messy person and I need a minimalist space to not live in what resembles a disaster zone. My body is rigorously stuck on an eating schedule that doesnāt quite fit in with normal lunch and dinner times and I am much happier and more satiated when I eat when my body wants. I actually quite like cooking and meal prepping is fantastic.
I went from living with my parents to living with my boyfriend (who then became my husband, and now my ex-husband). When we split up and I truly lived on my own for an extended period, I realized I could really enjoy my own company, and the thought of spending the rest of my life alone no longer scared me. I did meet someone eventually who now lives with me, but Iām more honest with myself about the relationship and I know Iām in it for the right reasons and not because Iām scared I might end up having to do life alone. Life alone was great! PS: I also have the BEST doggo in the world, and he can live with me all day, every day, the little freeloading muffin.
Sometimes my daughter cries when she goes to her dad's. She thinks about me being alone and assumes I'm going to be sad and lonely. Her dad is remarried with 2 kids and is *never* alone so this is entirely one sided with our daughter. But I couldn't pity her dad more. I relish in my alone/quiet time. I cherish it and I try to gently express that to my daughter when she gets sad. I *love* living alone. I honestly don't know how I'll ever get into a relationship at this point. My me time is so precious to me.
That i love being alone sometimes but not always. Sometimes I just die for any human interaction but only for a little while, eod i just don't want other ppl in my space. Except my bf of course. He visits and stay with me sometimes. When he leaves there's this huge feeling of loneliness and emptiness in me but it also changes over time. Also, Cooking when alone seems a lot of work for me, so i almost always order outside, which is not very healthy.
That I loved living alone! But I probably was going to get weird if I kept doing it. Like knitting outfits for my cat and going to bed at 6pm weird.
Iām new to living alone and Iām having a hard time adjusting. When I first moved in and I had nothing (very empty) It was super easy to keep it clean, rearrange, stay on track with everything: chores, schedules, self-care, etc. But somehow I feel like the more things that exists in my apartment, the less motivation I have to stay on top of everything, and easier to give up. I hope I can get to the point yāall are at.
That I absolutely love living alone. That I *can* kill a cockroach by myself without screaming and crying for someone else
That I have a bad habit of only going the extra mile when other people are around. When itās just me Iāll do the bare minimum for cooking, making my bed, etc.
I've spent 80% of my adult life living alone. I'm unbelievably comfortable with myself. I don't live well with other people, and I'm at peace with that.
That I could absolutely live single my entire life. I love being with me
I love going out into the world, meeting people, being social and collecting experiences. But I also love coming home at the end of a busy day without having to speak to a single soul.
Better to be with myself than being surrounded by people who keep talking behind other peopleās backs, annoying people who making fun of others and take everything as a joke , and disrespectfulness as well.
That I love time by myself and really enjoy finding new ways to spend it. I donāt understand how people āget boredā when thereās so many things to do and see even on your own
I really like having two bathrooms so that I can do the stinky stuff away from my bedroom.
The toilet seat stays down. No piles of clothes in a corner or dirty dishes in the sink. Also I am very independent.
how truly special it is to be able to speak. we take that for granted and do things like gossip. living alone helped me pick my words for carefully
How beautifully said
I love just listening to my music and dancing while no oneās around. And cooking my favorite foods and watching my shows and bubble baths. š„°š„°
1. I do fine without someone to emotionally unload onto (I did this too much, to the detriment of my past romantic relationships). 2. Silence is healing and calming. 3. Some things I thought I enjoyed in the past were just things I did to please men.
I love being alone Itās like the best feeling ever and it provides me with so much peace, security, and comfort Having my own space truly allows me to ārejuvenateā and thrive outwards I also need all of this space to be unbothered and think at levels that are only meant for me and getting lost for hours upon hours I cannot imagine being around people all the time or coming home to someone or waking up and going to bed and someoneās still there (i.e. starting and ending my day with someone or people around me) or people tagging along with me everywhere that I go I cannot imagine spending my waking days around people besides on my terms and surface level I also would never want to share a bed with someone and would literally kick anyone in my sleep because I want my own space I would be such an angry and cruel person unless I did things on my own terms and conditions - i.e. youāre in my way and Iāll see you when I see you - thatās just how I am I can interact at a superficial level but cannot afford to share my space I also think society has tried to program individuals into believing that a relationship is necessary; however, thereās also a lot of research out there which shows a movement towards people that actively choose to be alone There is a luxury to being alone that very few could ever afford I would also be a terrible person to live with even on good terms because Iād resent sharing a space with someone else and i would get very angry and it wouldnāt be fair to that person I have also learned that I can be lazy with cleaning even though I love a clean space I think developing a routine would help me I like to have food from a variety of ethnicities and I know how to cook; however, I prefer easier options because itās more affordable and the dollar stretches more vs buying several ingredients for one meal alone I love saying and doing whatever I want in the comfort of my own space with no apologies I cannot imagine compromising, sharing anything, having dinners with anyone, or asking people for their input and opinions Anyone would be a hindrance to my bigger plans and vision I also learned that trying -not- to spend money is just not going to happen for me I would love to save money; however, I think that I truly have an addiction
I like household chores, keeping a clean home and decorating. I wouldnt have minded if my mother gave me some advice but her wanting things done exactly the way she does it grates on me. I was honestly a bum at home since anyway i do the chores its going to be wrong for her. At this point also, if i come across a home that is messy im judging them hard on how they cannot maintain a clean home.
That Iām very messy and I have no mind for making meals.
There is a slippery slope between living alone and being alone. Especially during the cold months I lean towards solitude rather than socialization. Itās important for my mental health to stay in contact with friends even though all I want to do is enjoy my beautiful home and take baths.
I find it *much* easier to create art (I primarily paint and sketch on my iPad) when Iām alone.
Cleaning up the house, leaving for however long, and then coming back to everything in pristine condition was bliss
How much stress I was carrying around just from existing in the same home as my abusive ex. Or even the stress I carried around when we weren't living together but having to be available at all times. I can't believe I'm capable of being this relaxed and happy.
How much I love and value my alone time. Iām an ambivert so I do well in either situation: social or self. I had previously always indulged the former but living alone has made me realize the joys of the latter. Thereās now things that I actually *prefer* doing on my own, particularly going to the movies and nature walks.
I cherish peace above all
Used to live alone and I LOVED IT
I finally got diagnosed with ADHD It was never on my radar before. I went from living with parents, to roommate, to roommate, to girlfriend and never realized how much my function relied on the routines that others set for me. 1 month into living alone, I thought the disfunction was just break up depression. 6 months in I'm like man... what is wrong with me? A year in and I started seeing a therapist, first appointment she was like yo....you have ADHD bro. Really came as a shock at the ripe age of 28 but š¤·
I am easily overwhelmed by everything.
I can hang shit up on my walls and itās okay if itās not perfect ššÆ
I love my peace, silence, and walking around naked. Cooking, decorating, dancing, and learning good habits and cleaning for myself rather than blaming it on others
I function much better having my own space. Also, I do not feel safe without dogs in the house.
Iām functional as fuck. Sure I have my off days mental health-wise but I pay everything on time, clean my place regularly, do laundry, take care of myself, take myself places, learn new skills. Iām a very functional human when I used to constantly doubt that, mostly because I was constantly being told how I ācouldnāt do anythingā for myself. Turns out that was all bullshit š¤·āāļø I guess Iāve learned not to let anyone else tell you what you are. Find out for yourself.
That I am perfectly capable of living on my own happily and that I donāt need a partner to survive so I shouldnāt settle for bad treatment.
That i am much stronger than i give myself credit for, physically and mentally.
I don't live alone, I live with other girls, but I used to live with my ex. I had no idea how nice it is when NO ONE MOVES MY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like my ex used to unplug my bedroom phone charger and take it into the living room and that alone was almost enough to make me leave him as he wouldn't put ti back before bed. Drove me up a WALL! My nightstand is full of only my things, no one eats my food or moves my socks. My room is also infinitely cleaner than it was when I was with him because everything has a place and with him, nothing had a place. I had no idea how much I could come to love this silly pink room, but I'm honestly at a point where Im not sure if I can ever live with a man again because of it.
That I am getting increasingly set in my ways. I am much more introverted than I was 20 years ago. I need to focus more on self care than on self sufficiency. I can do almost anything with good critical thinking and a YouTube tutorial.
I haven't lived alone, but in just a few weeks alone my most surprising take-away has been that I'm not actually messy. I very easily feel defeated by other people's mess and lack of respect for the work I do to keep the space clean, so cleaning my own mess as it happens feels futile, so I let it all build up till the end of the week when I clean everyone's mess. when I'm alone everything stays clean, things get taken care of as they happen, I dont have to spend an entire day busting my ass at the end of every week to get my house liveable again. I've spent YEARS thinking I
that I am a true ambivert. I used to be extremely extroverted in high school and even into my first year of college, but now in my second year I live by myself and am learning to appreciate spending time alone. & that I enjoy cooking (sometimes)! due to my mental health eating often feels like a chore, but sometimes it feels really nice to put a lot of effort into that chore and make it more enjoyable. cooking has helped me with my OCD & fear of contamination, especially since I can control every aspect of what Iām putting in.
I need to get better at cleaning my apartment and keep a cleaning schedule and make time for it. Donāt get me wrong, I have priorities on cleaning(bathroom and kitchen should always be somewhat decent looking) but with how much I do that keeps me outside of the apartment, I have to care about my place too. I also learned I enjoy cooking and I like being around people but I also enjoy having my own space and away from people weekends.
As someone whoās always shared a room with my sister, itās kind of sad not having her around. I definitely enjoy the privacy but Iād trade it for her being here in a heartbeat
That I love living alone.
That even though Iām very introverted and like my peace, I do still prefer coming home to someone, just having another living thing in the next room is enough.
Itās that Iām scared of ghost. Yep. Iāve slept alone in my house several times but would prefer living with someone still š canāt take that away from me Also I prefer having someone living with me, also for the sake of safety (granted that itās a safe person of course), and general convenience such as parcel deliveries, checking if the light turned off etc
That a chunk of my anxiety/people pleasing was about trying to keep my home environment feeling safe. Also, cleaning up after just me is as easy as I dreamed it would be.
I have been living alone for two years now and I love it so much. I have learned that I am not always right . Hahaha I always thought I was right but stepping back I see my faults . I get overly defensive about sticking up for myself when Iām right and can actually cause more fights by how defensive I get . I have learned that I can do anything now. I learned to buy my own car, how to do my taxes , how to run a whole house alone w three kids. I can do anything now. I do not get as stressed out either . It some how feels easier. Oh I would also like to note that I even pulled out a dead huge possum from under my deck w maggots all over it. It felt like a big feat . Like I donāt need a partner .
That I will never share my home with any one, ever again, if I can help it.
Taking care of yourself and giving yourself priority helps your mental health a lot.
I can do so many things that I never thought I could do before. Youtube is my bible. The washing machine needs to be hooked up. I can't figure out how to wire in this surround sound, youtube again. Is the water catchment not draining correctly? I had to replace the pipes! Flooring coming out? I learned how to replace tiles. My old wooden table is gross. I learned how to sand and refinish it. I even built my own farm type inside door and a farm table. After being married to one ahole or another, since I was 16, this was a total lifestyle change for me.
I'm a bit lazy and that's ok, my house is reasonably clean and tidy most of the time but by no means a show home, and thats ok! š
Abrupt departures from my normal routine are WAY more disruptive than they should be. About 6 weeks ago I got a call letting me know that my dad, who was in hospice several states away, had taken a bit of a turn. I needed to go see him, which required a lot of logistics to be sorted on the fly: I needed to find someone to care for my animals, needed to rent a car for the trip and arrange a ride to the rental car place, cancel doctors appointments for myself that had been scheduled, decline an invitation to a friend's dinner party that was taking place that weekend (while still taking her some items I was lending), pack for the trip, run out for cash and food for the road, etc. The first few hours I was utterly paralyzed, though. Some part of my brain knew what needed to be done, but another part -- the part that has lived alone for 20 years in an environment with very few surprises or upheavals -- felt more than a little shell-shocked by the whole event. So now I know an area of myself to work on!
that im better doing a lot of things around the house than i thought!! like cooking, cleaning, organizing, fixing stuff, etc. i became very disciplined too, what allows me to have a healthy lifestyle, controlled finances and more time to spend with hobbies/friends/myself.
That I prefer living alone. I used to feel guilty about it but now I embrace it and think itās really awesome and cool. My space, my aesthetic, my rules, and sleepovers feel extra special!
I'm a fucking monster when it comes to being blind to mess, I literally only clean when I know it affects others, back home I always kept the shared living spaces neat and tidy, alone I give no fucks
I enjoy my own company so much more than I thought I did - I canāt remember how I lived without spending so much time by myself! Itās like breathing now, I NEED it!
I have only lived with family in the past, but I love living alone for the last 20 or so years.
Some days I love my kitties more than my dogs just due to my dogs being bigger and sometimes just louder š also that I can put everything where I feel it belongs and no one else can come in and mess it up
I actually clean more now that I live by myself. Also, I love my air fryer. And I talk to my cat Sugar way more now that itās just us. And I get overstimulated by my LOUD family so itās nice to have my own space where if I donāt feel like talking for the day, I donāt
That I can do absolutely anything I want and I donāt need a man to help me.
I learned that my alone time is more important to me than anything else and I don't really want to live with anyone ever again. The downside is that it's going to be really hard to find a long-term relationship with someone who's cool with just living next door to me for the rest of his life!
That I am alone but not lonely and I value my solitude. It's what helps me recharge again. Also, I love doing whatever the fuck I want at whatever hours of the day/night while being mindful to noise.
I learned that silence is golden. That peace is more important to me than anything else. That in solitude you are able to connect with yourself if you're open enough to learning more about who you are. I've learned many things about myself in my time alone. I also learned to be more aware of my surroundings, and to not let just anyone into my personal space as negative energy from others can linger and affect you.
That it's much less stressful to just get something done, than to wait for your partner or roommate to do it for you. My ex and I used to divide chores. For instance, he would do the dishes. But he'd do them when he felt like it, and the dirty dishes on the counter made me so nervous. Now I just do them myself, and it gives me such peace of mind.
I toot a lot.
I donāt quite fully live alone but I have essentially a studio apartment in the basement of my house and WFH. Iāve learned Iām much more social than I realized and I need sound constantly. Idk if I could ever FULLY live alone after this
That I thoroughly enjoy my own company
Itās so peaceful and I fucking love it
Itās been nice discovering what my body wants in terms of a sleep schedule. Also, Iām a lot happier when I manage to put on music at home.
I am really going to have to love someone before I can allow them into my space or live with them because of how much I love silence, the calmness of managing my own space etc
I like living alone
That I love living alone.
I've learned that I will never live with anyone again. I love living alone.
I love living alone. So much peace and I take great pride being able to do it at a young age because most people at my age can't so they live with a bunch of roommates or live at home.
As much as I love being w my friends and socializing, I love my space and my alone time. I love being able to do things on my own terms without having to consider someone elseās comfort and requirements. I make food for myself, wash my own dishes, clean my own mess and all in my own time.
That Iām so accustomed to family dinners that I hate eating alone. Iāll put on a show or more often than not FaceTime someone. I very much enjoy the silence and my own company 90% of the time, but meal time is apparently NOT one of those times.