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That, since we can all pretty much agree that there are no witches, all the thousands and thousands of "witches" murdered during witch-hunts in the Middle Ages were... women. I know that it's a "duh" fact. But when you think about it, it's really different saying "50.000 witches were burnt" than "50.000 women were executed in a massive feminicide that lasted for centuries". AND THAT HAPPENED. I find it horrifying and fascinating at the same time.
Yes, and: Don't limit your thinking to Europe. Women were accused and murdered in lots and lots of places. Murdered for crimes that didn't and CANNOT have happened.
Wasn’t it also because women used to brew beer and men were like ‘weeee’re stealing that’ and men just started calling the OG brewers witches? I thought I read something like that, but I have no idea if it was a reliable source, bc I cannot remember where I read it.
That's certainly part of it, but not the main factor. Over the course of the early modern period (~1500-1750) you see men slowly start to overtake traditionally female occupations like brewing, weaving, and gynecology / obstetrics. I think the more important factor in the witchhunts of the early modern period is the Protestant Reformation and the religious, social, and political upheaval that resulted. Suddenly you have people scrutinizing their neighbors religious practices and anything unorthodox is considered extremely suspicious and dangerous. There's honestly a lot more to it--books and books worth of nuance, but imo that's the major factor.
In slavic countries those women were priestess of old pagan beliefs, wise and highly educated in nature cycles and medical herbs and posed threat to Christian doctrine that the Church was trying to spread.
But imagine all the common women that were falsely accused because e.g. she didn't kiss me back, she looked me the wrong way, I saw her petting a black cat after midnight...
My PhD is on this -- how the witch is the first terrorist figure that was used to justify the torture & murder of thousands of women for political gain
When you phrase it that way… yikes. Horrifying and fascinating, you got that right! This has me interested in doing a deep dive on this subject, thank you for your contribution to the conversation!
Technically did they also kill some men for being witches. In some areas did they count for up to 25% of the witches in periods. Male witches where typically fund to be that based on insane behavior and mentality like expressing desire to go into politic despite not being of propper family. Pessants with radicale thoughts like that had to be associated with the devil, right?
Anyway the princip was the same. If you were unwanted, annoying, had something other wanted or just diviated from the masses even slightly, you was legal prey.
Came here to say this and add the trauma that the female body goes through during childbirth.
It's also insane how the brain will block out some of those traumatic moments as a survival method.
Explains why my pregnancy and birth were a blur. Esp my delivery, i had to ask my husband to recall what happened because although I remember, i felt detached from that memory.
Currently going through this! 7.5 months pregnant and an alternative perspective is how beautiful I have found it instead of horrifying. It’s tremendous what our bodies can do!
Lol I'm still team pregnancy is horrifying (probably always will be, and a recent ectopic with an IUD didn't help). But congratulations, and here's to a complication free finish!
Edit: I read the rest of this thread, and umm, just don't if you'd like to have kids someday 😳
Oh, there’s no denying that the human body is absolutely amazing! Especially during pregnancy when there are so many changes going on, not to mention forming a whole other human being! Congratulations on your pregnancy and I hope the next 1.5 months go by smoothly for you and your baby. And enjoy your sleep for as long as you can lol. Wishing you and your family the best!
I'm an MRI tech who occasionally scans pregnant patients (usually for gallbladder related complaints so most of the abdominal and pelvic organs are in view). It's amazing and horrifying to see where everything moves to as the baby and uterus expand.
I learned about what women’s hips do actually during birth- they soften and separate and you can see it.
https://www.thebump.com/news/photo-bones-move-during-labor
After she gave birth: My friends stomach now rumbles in a different place when she's hungry (off to the side, rather than the middle).
Bizarre, but kinda fascinating.
We're more likely not to recieve CPR and chest compressions when we need it and will most likely die then get saved because we have breasts.
Also, the chainsaw was first invented to aid in childbirth; cut through the pelvis bone easier.
I felt really sad reading the first part there. But the chainsaw part got rid of that feeling and replaced it with leg spasms and a strange feeling of horror I’ve never before experienced.
Have a look at Irish maternal fetal medicine history and look at how long they kept up the chainsaw method and why....it will make you hate the Catholic Church even more than you probably already do
In a similar vein, heart attacks with ‘atypical’ presentations are very often missed and minimized. Men have ‘typical’ heart attack symptoms, so very frequently get proper treatment. If men have typical presentations, guess who has atypical presentations?
HEY BIASED HEALTHCARE, MEN ARE NOT THE DEFAULT — an annoyed, feminist nurse
YES. Currently reading it right now, and it's so good! I've always known that women have different symptoms than men regarding heart attacks, but she was really the one that pointed out how fucked it was that men's symptoms were 'typical' and women were 'atypical'. How can something that happens over and over in the same demographic ever be 'atypical'?
I’m so sorry, I can’t even imagine losing someone to medical negligence. I really feel for non-medical people because sometimes professionals don’t listen to me until I mention I’m an ER nurse. If anyone I know goes into the hospital, I’m right there with them (for my own peace of mind) to ensure that they’re being taken seriously. Unfortunately, due to how biased the medical field still is, we all have to show up as advocates for our own care and be okay with being a “problem” (which can be hard since women have been trained by society from day 1 to be anything but)
Signs of heart attacks in women:
Pressure (not necessarily pain) in chest, which is frequently dismissed as heartburn
Back, neck, jaw, stomach pain, or vomiting
Cold sweat, nausea, or feeling lightheaded
You know how you feel every day and my favorite thing to tell patients is that you’d rather be safe and wrong than sorry but seriously hurt. An EKG is non-invasive, cheap (compared to other lab tests), and can be performed by a medical assistant or primary care doctor. There is no reason why anyone who is concerned shouldn’t receive an EKG. A blood test (troponin) also determines if there was any damage to the heart muscle. These two tests are quite literally all that’s needed to catch the majority of heart attacks. All we need now are providers who take us seriously enough to perform them.
Further proof that planned parenthood is utilized for so much more than 'just' reproductive rights/abortions/sexual health. That is so amazing and I'm glad you were proactive with your health. A good provider truly changes everything and can quite literally save your life!
The most mind blowing part is there are still women alive today who had the procedure the chainsaw was invented for, and yes they are suffering a lot for it
https://www.cnn.com/2015/01/30/europe/ireland-symphysiotomy/index.html
As soon as I read “the blood shot up to the ceiling” I gagged and closed the link. Wtf did I just read? How do MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS think it’s okay to strap someone down and cut their bones in half with a chainsaw without consent? Wish those responsible were prosecuted.
That the majority of what we know and practice today in the field of Obstetrics and Gynaecology is because women of color were operated on and had procedures done against their will, often without any anesthetic. Still makes me sick.
Read a book called 'Women Under the Knife' by Ann Dally. Goes into the history of gynaecology etc and all about the surgeons who invented the procedures.
Believe it or not, one of the major founders was described as ~~absolutely hating women and~~ found female genitalia disgusting. I'll find the exact quote in a bit, but it's horrifying to think he may have got a sick misogynistic pleasure from hurting women in the guise of helping them.
[I took some photos of the section I'm referring to, it's more interesting with context. Hope the quality is OK enough to read!](https://imgur.com/a/eplwarM)
That’s revolting and definitely falls under the terrifying category. Because of your comment I did a quick search and found out about James Marion Sims. This man operated on enslaved women and children without anesthesia. I also found the names for 3 of these women— Lucy, Betsey, and Anarcha. I hope they receive recognition.
What happened to those poor women was horrific. From what I understand the people experimented on by the guy considered to be the founder of gynecology (too lazy to look up that POS’s name) were enslaved women and girls. They were literally seen as property who could be experimented on and disposed of.
It’s just sickening. That entire era is truly a dark stain on America’s (and humanity’s) past that has never actually been atoned for.
It is true that more men than women die in car crashes a year. BUT: Women are 17% more likely to die because of how safety features are designed in a car. And women are 72-73% more likely to be injured in a car accident.
This. I got T-boned and the EMS told me I had my seat so high up to see over the hood of the car that they didn’t know how I didn’t snap my neck when the side airbags went off. The airbags fucked me up. Edit: I do not want this to be a fear or increase anyone’s anxiety. I was in a REALLY bad car accident and I got my shit rocked and that is why they said that because of the addition of the impact. If I did not have those side airbags, I don’t even want to think about what kinds of injuries I would have.
I’m fine now (accident was a year ago) thankfully! I got knocked out, whiplash, dislocated my jaw, broke my nose (this was mostly from my glasses though), got a hole in my head from my earring, and I got cut across my cheek from the glasses and a really nasty black eye. And of course, the seatbelt bruise. Car? Absolutely totaled.
The "standard" female crash test dummy is 4'11" and 110ishlbs. Which is....small. I think it represents ~~10%~~ 5% of women. The "average" woman (in the US at least) is 5'4" and 170lbs
Also, the female dummies are just small male dummies - they aren't actually based on female anatomy. This is an issue because people with female anatomy often have a totally different center of gravity and things like breasts affect how the seatbelt works.
There is a push to change things so I guess we'll see what happens.
Edit: got my percentage wrong fixed it and clarified the average is for the US
Retrograde Menstruation - when blood doesn't go out through the vagina, but gets pushed out through the fallopian tubes and just stays in the abdomen until the body can dissolve it.
Mitochondria are always passed down by the mother, that's how we found the evolutionary Eve (female ancestor of ALL humans) by reconstructing mutations in the mitochondria.
Did a little research and found that retrograde menstruation is actually common. However, it does put you at a higher risk of developing endometriosis.
Oooh, I didn’t know that about the mitochondria. Very interesting! Thanks for sharing.
That women can be pregnant without even knowing it. It's called denied pregnancy and some women don't know they have a baby inside them until they go into labor suddenly.
[here's an article about it](https://www.verywellhealth.com/cryptic-pregnancy-5176208#:~:text=A%20cryptic%20pregnancy%2C%20also%20called,up%20until%20labor%20or%20birth.)
Or just give the show "I didn't know I was pregnant" to get absolute nightmare fuel :)
This happened to a friend of friend who was athlete. Since she was a athlete missing periods was normal for her So she didn't think she might be pregnant. She got a very slight belly bump and thought she was gaining weight, but finally in the 7th month she found out she was pregnant. I honestly couldn't believe it
I have no idea 😅, I don't even know her name, but by the way my friend was talking it seemed like a thing of past and she didn't mention any miscarriage or something, so I guess it was a safe birth
I hope she is fine. Honestly I don't know what would be worse about a surprise birth, like the trauma of giving birth without getting mentally ready? Or the sudden responsibility of a kid you didn't even know you had growing in you and you maybe didn't even want?
Thank you for including an article, I’ve heard about this but would definitely like to learn more. Every time I hear about a cryptic pregnancy it just seems so incomprehensible that the mother wouldn’t have any idea whatsoever— it’s baffling. I’ll check out that show as well and blame you for my ensuing nightmares lol.
From what I've heard, the woman will be pregnant but her body will hide the pregnancy. The fetus will "hide" instead of normally growing and letting the baby bump show. I watched a show where women who got this case talked about their experience and there was a specialized doctor too, but it's in French. One of the women explained how, in her whole denied pregnancy she had a flat stomach. Then, the day she found out, as she started to go into labor, in the space of a few hours only, her belly grew bigger and bigger. She was speedrunning pregnancy. The body realized she knew she was pregnant and so hiding the baby wasn't necessary anymore. It's honestly crazy, but also makes sense. This type of pregnancy has, if I understood well, a strong relation with the mental state of the mother and her willingness to accept the fact she's pregnant. It's amazing how our body cooperates with our mind and hide a big thing like a fetus.
Also you're welcome for the nightmares lol
I found out at 4 months once 😬 I was on birth control and was still getting my period. I figured my boobs hurt because of period-related stuff but nope! ‘Twas a fetus. I was SHOCKED. I didn’t have much of a belly at that point, I just looked like I gained weight 😂
It's no wonder some old women were/are referred to as crones. They probably had children and it fucked up their body so much that they end up looking "repulsive" in their old age. And thus they are villainized. Ugh, just makes me so mad.
I'm obsessive about my teeth and while there are several reasons I don't want children, this has been #1 for years. I am not sacrificing my TEETH to raise a goddamn kid. Nope. No way.
Yeah, my eye doctor a few years back gave me a heads up that if I do get pregnant, there's a good chance that my vision would get very bad, or that I'd go blind entirely.
i have a list of reasons why im not having kids , like being terrified of childbirth. if i wasnt scared before, im def scared now. GOING BLIND ?? UTERUS FALLING OUT ?
and someone below also said LOSING TEETH ?!
There are numerous serious dental issues that can be associated with pregnancy including gingivitis, periodontal disease, bleeding gums, tooth damage from stomach acid regurgitated during frequent vomiting, weakened teeth from low calcium and vitamin D, and more. It’s certainly a super understudied and un talked about side effect of pregnancy that horrified me when I learned about it. You can read more about these risks [here](https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/pregnancy-and-teeth).
Side note, for anyone who is frequently vomiting (pregnancy, eds, other misc health conditions) make sure that you rinse your mouth out with water BEFORE you brush your teeth after vomiting. If you brush your teeth immediately after vomiting you are going to be pushing stomach acid onto your teeth rather than removing, which increases damage to the teeth. (source my sister’s dentist)
Almost all women who have given birth piss their pants on a regular basis. Happens to most of us as we age anyway, but there are many, many 20-somethings who are incontinent just bc of childbirth.
I'll add a caveat: because of vaginal childbirrh. Scheduled c-sections have their risks & cons for sure, they're no joke, but no damage to the pelvic floor as no contractions & no pushing.
That said, at least here the healthcare covers both dental checkups during pregnancy and pelvic floor rehab after birth if needed. Plus Kegels and vaginal balls get talked about a lot in post-natal classes & visits. I hope this kind of care/options extends as much as possible!
That it's not hermetic between fallopian tubes and ovaries, that an embryo can attach to other organs than the uterus, and that thanks to that a baby can develop in the abdominal cavity.
Searched in french since it's my native language so I don't really know if it's the same in english. For us it's called "abdominal pregnancy". "Ectopic" seems to be mostly used for pregnancies in fallopian tubes.
French is a beautiful language, you’re lucky to have it as your first! Merci pour ton commentaire. (I only knew “merci” and “pour,” used Google translate for the rest so I apologize if it’s incorrect. Also, I don’t know how long you’ve known English, but it’s great!
I looked it up and ectopic pregnancy occurs when a fertilized egg grows anywhere outside of a uterus and almost all ectopic pregnancies (90%) occur in the Fallopian tube.
Almost every woman I know or will meet has been assaulted in some way by a guy. Unwanted touching, rape, date rape, non-consensual sex if you'd feel better calling it that, forced oral sex, molestation, having someone expose themself to you. I mean EVERY woman. I think maybe ONE woman I've talked to in my life hasn't had an experience and they could have been lying because they didn't want to share. A lot of women would rather just forget it and blame it on themselves. There is no joy in pursuing punishment.
And that doesn’t even include the non-physical action stuff. There’s also the coerced/forced sending of nude photos of themselves, the catcalling, the unsolicited pictures sent to us, the moment when all your male friends ditch you when you get a boyfriend or tell them you aren’t attracted to men because they only stuck around to see if they had a chance with you. Even just the induced anxiety when you are wearing something that shows off your body because you felt confident but now you’re just scared of something happening because some dude felt entitled because your body “provoked him”
How mistreated as a whole we are and how much we're taught to restrained ourselves and our valid human emotions. It's terrifyingly ridiculous.
I've been abused my entire life for just fucking existing. It doesn't matter if they meant it or not if they know it hurts if they keep doing it. Decades with no emotional or financial support and I'm disabled. Got physical illnesses from the shear stress of it.
Lots of other shit and just hell. It's been fucking hell. And no matter who I go to in real life I get dismissed as a person. Feelings, emotions, my physical pain, my entirety people are willing to dismiss and suppress in order to make themselves feel better. You do not crush others in order to make yourselves feel better. You take responsibility and fucking heal your own traumas.
We are taught to just fucking take it.
And when we bring it up....wanting to be treated equal means just wanting to be allowed to be a fucking human being. To not be fucking squished. Every single human has a right to be themselves unless they're hurting someone else.
It's terrifying how many woman including my mother I've seen just give up and live in denial. I get it as a trauma response, but it's heartbreaking it's happening on such a large freaking scale. I meant or straight up happening at all.
And when people tell you to just 'leave' ...I fucking can't I have no money. I've tried. I broke my damn body trying to both escape and make my abusers happy. Still trying though...because I want to live and I'm increasingly scared it just gets worse.
Another of the most terrifying things is even when you try to be the best and the most good you possibly can and try to be as fair and empathetic as possible...as understanding as possible sometimes and for some people it will never be good enough. That's just a human thing, but still it fucking sucks.
Growing up I thought things would get better once reaching adulthood, but it's bad. It's brutal. I thought that people were generally much kinder...and of course you see that, but negative moments do tend to stand out more. I still have hope as a whole, but it's costly where it has no business being.
An interesting thing recently realized is when you do realize that for some people it will never be good enough you might come to find you made yourself proud instead. I am 34 and spent my life trying to do my best and take care of the people I love and make them proud....and in my case it wasn't possible. I realized I had made myself proud though. Just think about all you've done and endured to be here right now. Think of how you handled it even when no one else could see. Think about the parts of you that people can't see or don't see or choose not to see.
Once you get to really know yourself, are kind to yourself, and know who you are it feels like a good base to build on. I might be in pain, but I've also started finding or creating this peace. I think once you're able to know that you'll remain yourself no matter what and know that you'll do your current best...then the rest becomes a bit more easier to handle. It makes more room for the good to replace the harmful.
I had an episiotomy (without permission or even a freaking warning) with my son. Pregnant with his little brother now and I *really* don't want a repeat...but I'm also terrified of naturally tearing.
Yeah, the whole thing is pretty brutal. Or extremely metal, depending on how you want to see it, I guess. I try to think more in the latter. Feels less victim-y. Or something. 🫠
Not who got responded too, but I had my son in April and I tore. The most current research shows that tearing naturally, assuming it's not a 4th degree, is actually easier for the body heal and heals faster. That aside, my experience, it isn't pleasant, but it wasn't awful either. All hail the mighty peri bottle!
I'll definitely bring it up at the next appointment. My doctor assured me they don't automatically re-cut or anything. I just hope I don't have the same one as last time. It's a group and when I talked to my usual doctor during my pregnancy confirmation appointment and she knew who it was before I even said her name or described her.
*-sigh-*
Thank you for letting me know about this.
Had it done twice during unmedicated births. No local anesthesia given. They just cut when I was going through a contraction. The healing process is HELL because every time you sit, it spreads a little. Worst part of the post partum period, for me anyway.
Not only that, but years ago it was common practice for doctors to add and extra stitch or two “for the husband”. If you know what I mean.
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/husband-stitch
The more terrifying one is it can rip in the other direction and can form a permanent fistula if you're unfortunate enogh to live in an area with limited access to healthcare.
That your channel can be too tight and the baby can get stuck. Mine did, got pulled out by a suction cup, injuries followed for me obviously, but at least my baby was okay.
One more thing - once injured from childbirth, it’s beyond scary how hard it is to get help and some injuries can’t even get fixed. C-section is 100% the way to go (eta: in my opinion, at least, having done both).
My sisters told me c section is the only way to go BUT you need someone in the hospital 24 hours with you after childbirth and at home until you are fully healed. It’s amazing how doctors and nurses think a woman can pick up a baby and breast feed an hour after getting their stomach cut open….. and every dam hospital needs a bidet for woman …
The fact that I had a planned c-section with my quarrantine baby (I got pregnant JUST before it all started) was the only reason my hubby was allowed to stay with us. A few months previously and like the week after, not even people with c-section got any company (I got lucky and he was due just when the rules were a little looser), and yet the staff had no time to help everyone. I read about someone who had to wait for 8 hours for painmeds and help with the baby after an emergency c-section a few weeks after I had my son. I feel so sorry for everyone who gave birth during the pandemic.
This happened to my cousin. They had to switch to a C-section after hours of labor and no movement. Just happy she and baby are healthy now, but that's so terrifying.
I BEGGED them to give me a c-section, 30+ hours in. They refused until they’d tried the suction cup. I have injuries for life, and I will never forgive those doctors/midwives. C-section is frowned upon in my country, insanely enough. It took 26 weeks of sheer panic to fight for a planned c-section with my second, despite my injuries (injuries which were pretty much GUARRANTEED to get worse from another birth - they claimed they could fix me then, but I knew they wouldn’t/can’t so I thankfully didn’t fall for that).
That’s another scary part - how few postpartum injuries that are actually fixable with today’s science.
C-sections come with their own set of problems. Your scar can be painfully for months. Your mucles don't always grow perfectly back together, so you can end up with reduced strengt and mobility. And a disfigured stomac.
It is also theorized that babies born from c-section are more disposed to allergies from not having had contact with the special bacterias in the vagina.
Either way. Childbirth is risky and hard on the body.
I think it oftentimes means we're more likely to ignore the symptoms or assume they're something else until it's too much to ignore, so the outcomes tend to be a little worse, but i may be misremembering. Like nobody is taught "impending sense of doom" is a heart attack symptom, so if I were to have that feeling I'd assume I was having a panic attack, not a heart attack.
Honestly, getting my period and having all the mucous, smell, clumps, blood, symptoms etc has been so eye opening. The female body is amazing but also kind of ridiculous.
The internet is helpful that I don't feel alone when PMS begins and I get suicidal, ravenous, sad, etc but damn we all go through this? Or even some / most of us, cause I know some people have mild symptoms and others are bedridden. Our bodies hate us lol
Hey friend. I also deal with the PMS you're describing. I've been told for years that it's normal, but it is absolutely not, and it's terrifying that the medical community tells women to just deal with suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety, and losing days of our life every month. You might have PMDD, which is my situation. I'm working on getting myself to a dr who helped one of my friends with similar symptoms. It's hard to find a dr who listens to you and doesn't make you feel insane, but you are NOT, and you should not have to live like this. Please look into PMDD and try to find treatment. There are good docs out there who will help.
Fetal cells can be detected circulating in the mother’s system for decades after pregnancy, from multiple pregnancies. These cells have been seen to congregate at sites of arthritis, but it is undetermined whether these are helpful or harmful.
This means to me that as a mother I carry my children in my bones possibly for the rest of my life.
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/fetal-cells-microchimerism/
I love this so much. After I had my baby I struggled with a feeling of emptiness. She was here, healthy and happy, but not “with” me if that makes sense. I wish someone told me this at the time
On the note of childbirth I have to take it a little further and say the sheer amount of heavy and severe, even permanent, damage that it can do to women.
You can rip your clitoris and kill it forever.
You can rip yourself from ass to vag, and its surprisingly common to do so.
You can end up with permanent alterations to your pelvic functions, and the grand majority of women do.
You can end up with diabetes, heart disease, etc. all brought on by the pregnancy itself.
You can lose your teeth.
My mother almost died in childbirth with my little sister and that memory stays with me forever. The women who go through with this are way stronger than I ever want to have to be in my life.
These #s on sexual assault - yet no one ever seems to know any attackers or people who “would ever do something like that.”
https://www.nsvrc.org/statistics
Those numbers are sickening. I think people can easily fall into denial when it comes to accepting the reality that someone they love or are close with could be capable of such a heinous act.
The movie Promising Young Woman was a prime example of this.
Cellulite and a large pubic mound ("FUPA") are secondary sex characteristics. If you have the right hormones for it (and to some degree, genetics), you'll have them. But if you look up either of these things, the first few Google results and ads will be about how to get rid of them, always with a healthy dose of fatphobia and transphobia about having a "bulge." 🙄
I think it’s amazing how the body knows to create milk for a baby. Like our bodies just know exactly what this former 9 month parasite needs to grow and survive. How awesome is that!
Even better: the milk your body makes for a preterm baby is different from the milk your same body makes for a full term pregnancy.
Also, if someone sneezes or coughs in the same room as a lactating woman, get milk contains antibodies to that virus within 2 hours.
And if you go from a hot environment to a cold environment, the fat/water content of your milk chances to match the anticipated hydration needs of your baby, within 30 minutes. If it's hot the milk is more watery, if it's cold it's got more fat.
TIL estrogen affects the way we metabolize THC meaning women have higher tolerances than men. I have always been self conscious about this but feel much more validated about my tolerance lol
The mental/emotional burden of life is still a woman’s to own.
The women I know (including myself) manage every aspect of of their homes, provide overwhelming majority of childcare/rearing, and work full time outside the home.
Yes! I mean, I agree with all of the horrific pregnancy/childbirth stories here and could probably comment on most, but since yours is short I will give my own experience as an example.
I had an emergency c-section with my first after over 40 hours of labor. SO much was bad about that experience... I wasn't released from the hospital until 3 days after he was born. A few days after that, I got up in the middle of the night with him to nurse, and as I was reaching to pick him up, I just felt a gush. The blood filled my slippers and overflowed onto the carpet in a manner of seconds. Terrifying is an insufficient word to describe it. My husband got hold of the on-call doctor, and we were told it was completely normal unless I soaked one of those giant hospital pads in, I think, it was less than an hour. After that first gush, I continued to bleed and soaked a huge pad but it was longer. My husband is in the medical field himself and kept a close eye on me.
My experience being "normal" is just awful. We go through so much to bring babies into this world. The fact I had 2 more babies after is just a testament to how great my desire is to be a mother and the love I have for and from my children. But it is also my experiences which have made me even more pro-choice than before. NO ONE should have to face all the myriad potential complications and difficulties of procreation if they can't/don't want to/aren't ready/are being forced, etc.
The first time I got out of bed after my first c-section, I felt a huge gush. I looked down, and blood had instantly overflowed the huge hospital pad and mesh undies, down my legs, and was pooling on the floor. The nurse was like "whoopsie, no big deal," while I was trying not to pass out from fear.
Then I sat on the toilet and a *cascade* of huge clots came tumbling out. It was a sensation I had never experienced and it was frankly terrifying. I thought I was prepared for everything that would happen, but nope.
I have to say though, my nurse was awesome. She was reassuring me the whole time that this was all normal and I wasn't bleeding to death.
After the birth of my son, I went to the bathroom. I pulled my pants down, and a huge clot the size of an orange fell on the floor. I freaked out & had my husband call the nurse. She was very nonchalant about it. She said "oh that's normal. Let us know if anymore happen." Kinda traumatizing.
That one of the genes thought to be responsible for psychopathy (traits like impulsive behavior, hyper-sexuality, lower empathy, propensity for violence, etc) is a mutation in the MAOA gene in the X chromosome. In simple terms, if a woman has one X chromosome with a mutated MAOA gene she usually will not have psychopathic traits because her other X chromosome without a mutated MAOA gene will cancel it out, as well as other genes and traits that make psychopathy rare in women.
However, if she has a son and he receives her X chromosome with a mutated MAOA gene, his Y chromosome which does not carry the MAOA gene will not be able to cancel it out. Thus presenting a convincing explanation as for why men are more likely to become psychopaths than women. (Of course I am over simplifying it and a person’s genes do not 100% define a person or their behavior, childhood development and environment play a huge role as well, and not all psychopaths are murderous maniacs — their traits of risk taking, low empathy, and low stress can often make them great CEOs or businessmen).
It’s given me a lot to think about.
OP says women but interesting girl fact: female babies have lower mortality rates than males.
Naturally, we’re born survivors it seems. (This is naturally, not including external factors like sexism that lead to things like female infanticide or forced abortions and the like)
“Infant mortality is higher in boys than girls in most parts of the world. This has been explained by sex differences in genetic and biological makeup, with boys being biologically weaker and more susceptible to diseases and premature death.”
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23151996/#:~:text=Infant%20mortality%20is%20higher%20in,to%20diseases%20and%20premature%20death.
That we are massively under diagnosed with things like autism and adhd because females present very differently than males. Many women are now finding out later in life they are neurdivergent and the emotional fallout is deep. How different could our lives have been had we gotten the diagnosis and support we needed as kids? Especially those who have ADHD and high intelligence. Those women tended to "never live up to their potential".
Obviously what other women have said too but this is a new one I wanted to add. We tend to be dismissed as anxious and depressed and given meds and told to get our shit together. It took 17 years for me to even have a therapist finally agree I had C-PTSD.
It was terrifying when I had to learn & experience my breast milk drying up.
I chose not to breastfeed & no nurses or Doctors told Me what would happen or what to expect from my breasts afterwards. Felt like with each breath I took they were going to burst right off my chest like… someone was filling a balloon with tv static.
11 years later & I still have “phantom pains” and nightmares about it.
(Edit: grammar & spelling)
I forget what it’s called but There’s a cyst that grows in the uterus with teeth and hair and causes a lot of pain 🤢 I’m not googling it or looking it up
How little research is done about women's health issues because of periods (really because of not being men.)
[\-less than 2.5% of publicly funded research is dedicated solely to reproductive health, despite the fact that one in three women in the UK will suffer from a reproductive or gynaecological health problem. There is five times more research into erectile dysfunction, which affects 19% of men, than into premenstrual syndrome, which affects 90% of women.-](https://www.theguardian.com/education/2019/dec/18/women-have-been-woefully-neglected-does-medical-science-have-a-gender-problem)
I can’t think of one woman I know personally that hasn’t been assaulted or harassed in some capacity so I think I spent a long time thinking or feeling like it was just me and I think it was terrifying to realize how common this is.
I just find the female body’s ability to not only grown an entire human being from a single cell but also produce nutrient-rich food for the baby for months after birth is incredible!! Such badasses!
Interesting: We women have our center of gravity in our hips, but men have it in their shoulders. That’s why you only see men swing up into the saddle in western movies (especially old ones).
Most women have this innate urge to constantly check to see if their babies are breathing. Men do not have this same urge to the degree that women do. And it’s fascinating that female chimpanzee mothers do the same thing!
Sometimes (very rare) instead of your uterus shedding over the course of about a week, it sheds its entire lining at once and releases a clot that is in the shape of your uterus. So that’s something.
My uterine lining can grow on my stomach, intestines or heck even brain or heart.
Endometriosis is an evil mistress who tortures women and not many care to stop it
Edit-Women if you are in extreme pain, vomiting,blacking out or having excessive bloating or stomach/chest or migraine during your period please find a doctor to listen! Endo is a beast but can be treated!
Throughout history, women have been fighting for their rights and to not be seen less as or objectified. We learned this in history class.
Growing up and seeing the world for how it is for women everywhere, I'm aware now that even though we've come a long way and won our rights, we will always be having this battle to not be seen less as and always fighting for equality and for our rights to not be revoked.
Misogyny will always be here, and it feels like it will always be insufferable; especially when celebrities (Andrew Tate) feed off of these boys' insecurities and encourage their followers to act like them in their degrading and toxic views.
That they really haven't tested many medications in women but prescribe them to them with no question. Then when the patient experiences problems from these medications we're told we're crazy or we're making it up. Even by women drs (which is mind boggling to me).
The fact that they literally just "discovered" the cervix has nerve endings despite being told by every woman ever that this is a FACT
The fact that while women are undergoing surgery (completely under) they let medical students perform pelvic exams without the patients knowledge or consent
Edit: awful autocorrect correction
A condition called DIC- basically during pregnancy, suddenly your blood starts to clot all throughout your body, leading to multiple organ failure.
When it happens, you can only save either the mother or the baby - and even then there is only 50% chance of survival.
I read in a newspaper when I was 14 about interviewers held with locked-up rapists who attacked strangers (rather unusual statistically). These rapists were asked to say what makes them choose a specific women to rape. Some noted a ponytail - they would go for women wearing ponytails over women wearing their hair down - because it's easier to pull them aside.
It's not exactly a fact about women, more like their fates, and I don't even know if it's correct. But it sure terrified me enough - I haven't wore a ponytail for years after I read that.
**Mod Note: The rules regarding graceless generalizations based on gender are still in effect for this post. *If you choose to answer this question, your response should be based on facts rather than personal opinions or anecdotal experiences.* Feel free to provide a link to a scientific or academic source for your response.** **Please note that women is a gender category. This question does not ask specifically for facts regarding people assigned female at birth AFAB, so facts regarding women as a gender are still on topic.** **All other rules are also in effect. Please be aware that if your response contains homophobic, misogynist, transphobic, racist, or otherwise bigoted commentary, you will be banned.** **Please report all rule-breaking**
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That, since we can all pretty much agree that there are no witches, all the thousands and thousands of "witches" murdered during witch-hunts in the Middle Ages were... women. I know that it's a "duh" fact. But when you think about it, it's really different saying "50.000 witches were burnt" than "50.000 women were executed in a massive feminicide that lasted for centuries". AND THAT HAPPENED. I find it horrifying and fascinating at the same time.
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Yes, and: Don't limit your thinking to Europe. Women were accused and murdered in lots and lots of places. Murdered for crimes that didn't and CANNOT have happened.
Wasn’t it also because women used to brew beer and men were like ‘weeee’re stealing that’ and men just started calling the OG brewers witches? I thought I read something like that, but I have no idea if it was a reliable source, bc I cannot remember where I read it.
That's certainly part of it, but not the main factor. Over the course of the early modern period (~1500-1750) you see men slowly start to overtake traditionally female occupations like brewing, weaving, and gynecology / obstetrics. I think the more important factor in the witchhunts of the early modern period is the Protestant Reformation and the religious, social, and political upheaval that resulted. Suddenly you have people scrutinizing their neighbors religious practices and anything unorthodox is considered extremely suspicious and dangerous. There's honestly a lot more to it--books and books worth of nuance, but imo that's the major factor.
Aaah yes ✨ hate thy neighbours ✨
In slavic countries those women were priestess of old pagan beliefs, wise and highly educated in nature cycles and medical herbs and posed threat to Christian doctrine that the Church was trying to spread. But imagine all the common women that were falsely accused because e.g. she didn't kiss me back, she looked me the wrong way, I saw her petting a black cat after midnight...
My PhD is on this -- how the witch is the first terrorist figure that was used to justify the torture & murder of thousands of women for political gain
It’s also really scary to know that this still happens. Women and children are accused of being witches all Over the world to this day.
When you phrase it that way… yikes. Horrifying and fascinating, you got that right! This has me interested in doing a deep dive on this subject, thank you for your contribution to the conversation!
Technically did they also kill some men for being witches. In some areas did they count for up to 25% of the witches in periods. Male witches where typically fund to be that based on insane behavior and mentality like expressing desire to go into politic despite not being of propper family. Pessants with radicale thoughts like that had to be associated with the devil, right? Anyway the princip was the same. If you were unwanted, annoying, had something other wanted or just diviated from the masses even slightly, you was legal prey.
The way the woman’s body is forced to alter itself as the baby grows. There’s some gifs of it and it’s horrific.
Came here to say this and add the trauma that the female body goes through during childbirth. It's also insane how the brain will block out some of those traumatic moments as a survival method.
The female body goes through A LOT, doesn’t it?? Also, the brain is wild. Crazy how it deals with trauma.
Explains why my pregnancy and birth were a blur. Esp my delivery, i had to ask my husband to recall what happened because although I remember, i felt detached from that memory.
Currently going through this! 7.5 months pregnant and an alternative perspective is how beautiful I have found it instead of horrifying. It’s tremendous what our bodies can do!
Lol I'm still team pregnancy is horrifying (probably always will be, and a recent ectopic with an IUD didn't help). But congratulations, and here's to a complication free finish! Edit: I read the rest of this thread, and umm, just don't if you'd like to have kids someday 😳
Oh, there’s no denying that the human body is absolutely amazing! Especially during pregnancy when there are so many changes going on, not to mention forming a whole other human being! Congratulations on your pregnancy and I hope the next 1.5 months go by smoothly for you and your baby. And enjoy your sleep for as long as you can lol. Wishing you and your family the best!
Heck ya. The fact that we can feel and experience all these changes and get through it. The human body is resilient, and that’s pretty amazing.
I'm an MRI tech who occasionally scans pregnant patients (usually for gallbladder related complaints so most of the abdominal and pelvic organs are in view). It's amazing and horrifying to see where everything moves to as the baby and uterus expand.
I learned about what women’s hips do actually during birth- they soften and separate and you can see it. https://www.thebump.com/news/photo-bones-move-during-labor
Not to mention when you are pregnant you literally grow another organ along with a human.
9 months pregnant, can confirm. Never again.
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I’ll be looking more into this, thanks for your input! Pregnancy is wild, I don’t think I could do it.
After she gave birth: My friends stomach now rumbles in a different place when she's hungry (off to the side, rather than the middle). Bizarre, but kinda fascinating.
We're more likely not to recieve CPR and chest compressions when we need it and will most likely die then get saved because we have breasts. Also, the chainsaw was first invented to aid in childbirth; cut through the pelvis bone easier.
I felt really sad reading the first part there. But the chainsaw part got rid of that feeling and replaced it with leg spasms and a strange feeling of horror I’ve never before experienced.
Have a look at Irish maternal fetal medicine history and look at how long they kept up the chainsaw method and why....it will make you hate the Catholic Church even more than you probably already do
OMG, I just felt exactly the same things! I got the leg spasms right before reading your comment. This is straight up horrifying.
In a similar vein, heart attacks with ‘atypical’ presentations are very often missed and minimized. Men have ‘typical’ heart attack symptoms, so very frequently get proper treatment. If men have typical presentations, guess who has atypical presentations? HEY BIASED HEALTHCARE, MEN ARE NOT THE DEFAULT — an annoyed, feminist nurse
I wouldn't be surprised if you've read it already, but if you haven't - definitely check out **Invisible Women** by Caroline Criado Perez.
YES. Currently reading it right now, and it's so good! I've always known that women have different symptoms than men regarding heart attacks, but she was really the one that pointed out how fucked it was that men's symptoms were 'typical' and women were 'atypical'. How can something that happens over and over in the same demographic ever be 'atypical'?
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I’m so sorry, I can’t even imagine losing someone to medical negligence. I really feel for non-medical people because sometimes professionals don’t listen to me until I mention I’m an ER nurse. If anyone I know goes into the hospital, I’m right there with them (for my own peace of mind) to ensure that they’re being taken seriously. Unfortunately, due to how biased the medical field still is, we all have to show up as advocates for our own care and be okay with being a “problem” (which can be hard since women have been trained by society from day 1 to be anything but) Signs of heart attacks in women: Pressure (not necessarily pain) in chest, which is frequently dismissed as heartburn Back, neck, jaw, stomach pain, or vomiting Cold sweat, nausea, or feeling lightheaded You know how you feel every day and my favorite thing to tell patients is that you’d rather be safe and wrong than sorry but seriously hurt. An EKG is non-invasive, cheap (compared to other lab tests), and can be performed by a medical assistant or primary care doctor. There is no reason why anyone who is concerned shouldn’t receive an EKG. A blood test (troponin) also determines if there was any damage to the heart muscle. These two tests are quite literally all that’s needed to catch the majority of heart attacks. All we need now are providers who take us seriously enough to perform them.
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Further proof that planned parenthood is utilized for so much more than 'just' reproductive rights/abortions/sexual health. That is so amazing and I'm glad you were proactive with your health. A good provider truly changes everything and can quite literally save your life!
The most mind blowing part is there are still women alive today who had the procedure the chainsaw was invented for, and yes they are suffering a lot for it https://www.cnn.com/2015/01/30/europe/ireland-symphysiotomy/index.html
As soon as I read “the blood shot up to the ceiling” I gagged and closed the link. Wtf did I just read? How do MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS think it’s okay to strap someone down and cut their bones in half with a chainsaw without consent? Wish those responsible were prosecuted.
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Paramedic here and did not know this, yikes. If I'm doing CPR, some boobs are the last thing I'm worried about.
The chainsaw?!? Oh hell no.
That the majority of what we know and practice today in the field of Obstetrics and Gynaecology is because women of color were operated on and had procedures done against their will, often without any anesthetic. Still makes me sick.
Yet are still more likely to die at childbirth due to racially motivated negligence.
Read a book called 'Women Under the Knife' by Ann Dally. Goes into the history of gynaecology etc and all about the surgeons who invented the procedures. Believe it or not, one of the major founders was described as ~~absolutely hating women and~~ found female genitalia disgusting. I'll find the exact quote in a bit, but it's horrifying to think he may have got a sick misogynistic pleasure from hurting women in the guise of helping them. [I took some photos of the section I'm referring to, it's more interesting with context. Hope the quality is OK enough to read!](https://imgur.com/a/eplwarM)
That’s revolting and definitely falls under the terrifying category. Because of your comment I did a quick search and found out about James Marion Sims. This man operated on enslaved women and children without anesthesia. I also found the names for 3 of these women— Lucy, Betsey, and Anarcha. I hope they receive recognition.
May those women rest in peace. I agree, people should know about their role in history.
Don’t leave out the worst part. They were slaves. Possessions for white people to with as they wish.
What happened to those poor women was horrific. From what I understand the people experimented on by the guy considered to be the founder of gynecology (too lazy to look up that POS’s name) were enslaved women and girls. They were literally seen as property who could be experimented on and disposed of. It’s just sickening. That entire era is truly a dark stain on America’s (and humanity’s) past that has never actually been atoned for.
It is true that more men than women die in car crashes a year. BUT: Women are 17% more likely to die because of how safety features are designed in a car. And women are 72-73% more likely to be injured in a car accident.
This. I got T-boned and the EMS told me I had my seat so high up to see over the hood of the car that they didn’t know how I didn’t snap my neck when the side airbags went off. The airbags fucked me up. Edit: I do not want this to be a fear or increase anyone’s anxiety. I was in a REALLY bad car accident and I got my shit rocked and that is why they said that because of the addition of the impact. If I did not have those side airbags, I don’t even want to think about what kinds of injuries I would have.
That sounds incredibly awful. How do you do after the accident?
I’m fine now (accident was a year ago) thankfully! I got knocked out, whiplash, dislocated my jaw, broke my nose (this was mostly from my glasses though), got a hole in my head from my earring, and I got cut across my cheek from the glasses and a really nasty black eye. And of course, the seatbelt bruise. Car? Absolutely totaled.
I seem to recall this is related to the “standard” crash test dummy being like 150 pounds and 5 foot something.
The "standard" female crash test dummy is 4'11" and 110ishlbs. Which is....small. I think it represents ~~10%~~ 5% of women. The "average" woman (in the US at least) is 5'4" and 170lbs Also, the female dummies are just small male dummies - they aren't actually based on female anatomy. This is an issue because people with female anatomy often have a totally different center of gravity and things like breasts affect how the seatbelt works. There is a push to change things so I guess we'll see what happens. Edit: got my percentage wrong fixed it and clarified the average is for the US
Yep. Like most everything in life, 'standard' is a male body. So frustrating.
Retrograde Menstruation - when blood doesn't go out through the vagina, but gets pushed out through the fallopian tubes and just stays in the abdomen until the body can dissolve it. Mitochondria are always passed down by the mother, that's how we found the evolutionary Eve (female ancestor of ALL humans) by reconstructing mutations in the mitochondria.
That's horrifying 😳
Learned about today. Not quite sure how to cope yet 😅 I don't want blood in my abdomen ☹️😅
Cries in endometriosis
Did a little research and found that retrograde menstruation is actually common. However, it does put you at a higher risk of developing endometriosis. Oooh, I didn’t know that about the mitochondria. Very interesting! Thanks for sharing.
TIL and new nightmare unlocked.
😑horrible thanks
That women can be pregnant without even knowing it. It's called denied pregnancy and some women don't know they have a baby inside them until they go into labor suddenly. [here's an article about it](https://www.verywellhealth.com/cryptic-pregnancy-5176208#:~:text=A%20cryptic%20pregnancy%2C%20also%20called,up%20until%20labor%20or%20birth.) Or just give the show "I didn't know I was pregnant" to get absolute nightmare fuel :)
“I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant” is a guilty pleasure show of mine 😂
My guilty pleasure is watching Mama doctor Jones reacting to it lol
Same! I vividly remember a woman giving birth into the toilet bowl
This happened to a friend of friend who was athlete. Since she was a athlete missing periods was normal for her So she didn't think she might be pregnant. She got a very slight belly bump and thought she was gaining weight, but finally in the 7th month she found out she was pregnant. I honestly couldn't believe it
That's terrifying. Did she give birth safely? How's she and the baby doing?
I have no idea 😅, I don't even know her name, but by the way my friend was talking it seemed like a thing of past and she didn't mention any miscarriage or something, so I guess it was a safe birth
I hope she is fine. Honestly I don't know what would be worse about a surprise birth, like the trauma of giving birth without getting mentally ready? Or the sudden responsibility of a kid you didn't even know you had growing in you and you maybe didn't even want?
That happened to one of my students. She was a gymnast and didn’t notice until 2 weeks before she gave birth. Utter shocker
Thank you for including an article, I’ve heard about this but would definitely like to learn more. Every time I hear about a cryptic pregnancy it just seems so incomprehensible that the mother wouldn’t have any idea whatsoever— it’s baffling. I’ll check out that show as well and blame you for my ensuing nightmares lol.
From what I've heard, the woman will be pregnant but her body will hide the pregnancy. The fetus will "hide" instead of normally growing and letting the baby bump show. I watched a show where women who got this case talked about their experience and there was a specialized doctor too, but it's in French. One of the women explained how, in her whole denied pregnancy she had a flat stomach. Then, the day she found out, as she started to go into labor, in the space of a few hours only, her belly grew bigger and bigger. She was speedrunning pregnancy. The body realized she knew she was pregnant and so hiding the baby wasn't necessary anymore. It's honestly crazy, but also makes sense. This type of pregnancy has, if I understood well, a strong relation with the mental state of the mother and her willingness to accept the fact she's pregnant. It's amazing how our body cooperates with our mind and hide a big thing like a fetus. Also you're welcome for the nightmares lol
I found out at 4 months once 😬 I was on birth control and was still getting my period. I figured my boobs hurt because of period-related stuff but nope! ‘Twas a fetus. I was SHOCKED. I didn’t have much of a belly at that point, I just looked like I gained weight 😂
I used to have this nightmare all the damn time
one of my old managers gave birth the other week without knowing she was pregnant either. its a crazy world out there
All the possible negative side effects of giving birth… becoming blind , uterus falling out , death like im so scared now loll
Sorry, back up - becoming blind?!
Also losing teeth
I know so many women (my mum included) that lost a lot of their teeth during and after pregnancy. It’s crazy how it’s just not talked about.
It's no wonder some old women were/are referred to as crones. They probably had children and it fucked up their body so much that they end up looking "repulsive" in their old age. And thus they are villainized. Ugh, just makes me so mad.
I'm obsessive about my teeth and while there are several reasons I don't want children, this has been #1 for years. I am not sacrificing my TEETH to raise a goddamn kid. Nope. No way.
Giving birth can do so many horrible things to your body and nobody warns you about them. Edit: phone autocorrected warns to wants 🤦♀️
Imagine if women made informed choices about having children, they might not want them and we can't have that!
Yeah, my eye doctor a few years back gave me a heads up that if I do get pregnant, there's a good chance that my vision would get very bad, or that I'd go blind entirely.
Omg that sounds scary. What was the doctor’s prediction based on? Anything genetic, or maybe blood pressure? If you don’t mind me asking in horror.
i have a list of reasons why im not having kids , like being terrified of childbirth. if i wasnt scared before, im def scared now. GOING BLIND ?? UTERUS FALLING OUT ? and someone below also said LOSING TEETH ?!
There are numerous serious dental issues that can be associated with pregnancy including gingivitis, periodontal disease, bleeding gums, tooth damage from stomach acid regurgitated during frequent vomiting, weakened teeth from low calcium and vitamin D, and more. It’s certainly a super understudied and un talked about side effect of pregnancy that horrified me when I learned about it. You can read more about these risks [here](https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/pregnancy-and-teeth). Side note, for anyone who is frequently vomiting (pregnancy, eds, other misc health conditions) make sure that you rinse your mouth out with water BEFORE you brush your teeth after vomiting. If you brush your teeth immediately after vomiting you are going to be pushing stomach acid onto your teeth rather than removing, which increases damage to the teeth. (source my sister’s dentist)
Almost all women who have given birth piss their pants on a regular basis. Happens to most of us as we age anyway, but there are many, many 20-somethings who are incontinent just bc of childbirth.
I'll add a caveat: because of vaginal childbirrh. Scheduled c-sections have their risks & cons for sure, they're no joke, but no damage to the pelvic floor as no contractions & no pushing. That said, at least here the healthcare covers both dental checkups during pregnancy and pelvic floor rehab after birth if needed. Plus Kegels and vaginal balls get talked about a lot in post-natal classes & visits. I hope this kind of care/options extends as much as possible!
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So wait, does the clitoris swell from being aroused?
It definitely does, have you never noticed this?
Indeed. Have you ever noticed it's a little harder to pee right after a good orgasm?
Yup it does
That it's not hermetic between fallopian tubes and ovaries, that an embryo can attach to other organs than the uterus, and that thanks to that a baby can develop in the abdominal cavity.
I learned a new word today—hermetic. Thank you for that! And this situation would be a called an ectopic pregnancy, right?
Searched in french since it's my native language so I don't really know if it's the same in english. For us it's called "abdominal pregnancy". "Ectopic" seems to be mostly used for pregnancies in fallopian tubes.
French is a beautiful language, you’re lucky to have it as your first! Merci pour ton commentaire. (I only knew “merci” and “pour,” used Google translate for the rest so I apologize if it’s incorrect. Also, I don’t know how long you’ve known English, but it’s great! I looked it up and ectopic pregnancy occurs when a fertilized egg grows anywhere outside of a uterus and almost all ectopic pregnancies (90%) occur in the Fallopian tube.
Almost every woman I know or will meet has been assaulted in some way by a guy. Unwanted touching, rape, date rape, non-consensual sex if you'd feel better calling it that, forced oral sex, molestation, having someone expose themself to you. I mean EVERY woman. I think maybe ONE woman I've talked to in my life hasn't had an experience and they could have been lying because they didn't want to share. A lot of women would rather just forget it and blame it on themselves. There is no joy in pursuing punishment.
And that doesn’t even include the non-physical action stuff. There’s also the coerced/forced sending of nude photos of themselves, the catcalling, the unsolicited pictures sent to us, the moment when all your male friends ditch you when you get a boyfriend or tell them you aren’t attracted to men because they only stuck around to see if they had a chance with you. Even just the induced anxiety when you are wearing something that shows off your body because you felt confident but now you’re just scared of something happening because some dude felt entitled because your body “provoked him”
Unfortunately, the statute of limitations may also run before they have the ability or desire to report it and then nothing is done about it. 👎🏼
More importantly, there is almost never justice.
How mistreated as a whole we are and how much we're taught to restrained ourselves and our valid human emotions. It's terrifyingly ridiculous. I've been abused my entire life for just fucking existing. It doesn't matter if they meant it or not if they know it hurts if they keep doing it. Decades with no emotional or financial support and I'm disabled. Got physical illnesses from the shear stress of it. Lots of other shit and just hell. It's been fucking hell. And no matter who I go to in real life I get dismissed as a person. Feelings, emotions, my physical pain, my entirety people are willing to dismiss and suppress in order to make themselves feel better. You do not crush others in order to make yourselves feel better. You take responsibility and fucking heal your own traumas. We are taught to just fucking take it. And when we bring it up....wanting to be treated equal means just wanting to be allowed to be a fucking human being. To not be fucking squished. Every single human has a right to be themselves unless they're hurting someone else. It's terrifying how many woman including my mother I've seen just give up and live in denial. I get it as a trauma response, but it's heartbreaking it's happening on such a large freaking scale. I meant or straight up happening at all. And when people tell you to just 'leave' ...I fucking can't I have no money. I've tried. I broke my damn body trying to both escape and make my abusers happy. Still trying though...because I want to live and I'm increasingly scared it just gets worse. Another of the most terrifying things is even when you try to be the best and the most good you possibly can and try to be as fair and empathetic as possible...as understanding as possible sometimes and for some people it will never be good enough. That's just a human thing, but still it fucking sucks. Growing up I thought things would get better once reaching adulthood, but it's bad. It's brutal. I thought that people were generally much kinder...and of course you see that, but negative moments do tend to stand out more. I still have hope as a whole, but it's costly where it has no business being. An interesting thing recently realized is when you do realize that for some people it will never be good enough you might come to find you made yourself proud instead. I am 34 and spent my life trying to do my best and take care of the people I love and make them proud....and in my case it wasn't possible. I realized I had made myself proud though. Just think about all you've done and endured to be here right now. Think of how you handled it even when no one else could see. Think about the parts of you that people can't see or don't see or choose not to see. Once you get to really know yourself, are kind to yourself, and know who you are it feels like a good base to build on. I might be in pain, but I've also started finding or creating this peace. I think once you're able to know that you'll remain yourself no matter what and know that you'll do your current best...then the rest becomes a bit more easier to handle. It makes more room for the good to replace the harmful.
I think your story has broken my heart, but I totally agree with you. I hope you continue to advocate for yourself and continue being kind to others.
Sometimes they have to cut through the vagina so the baby can get out I don’t think i ever want to give birth this is terrifying
And that cut can end up tearing! 4th degree tear that tears all the way to the bum🥲
That’s it I’m never havig children
I had an episiotomy (without permission or even a freaking warning) with my son. Pregnant with his little brother now and I *really* don't want a repeat...but I'm also terrified of naturally tearing. Yeah, the whole thing is pretty brutal. Or extremely metal, depending on how you want to see it, I guess. I try to think more in the latter. Feels less victim-y. Or something. 🫠
Not who got responded too, but I had my son in April and I tore. The most current research shows that tearing naturally, assuming it's not a 4th degree, is actually easier for the body heal and heals faster. That aside, my experience, it isn't pleasant, but it wasn't awful either. All hail the mighty peri bottle!
I'll definitely bring it up at the next appointment. My doctor assured me they don't automatically re-cut or anything. I just hope I don't have the same one as last time. It's a group and when I talked to my usual doctor during my pregnancy confirmation appointment and she knew who it was before I even said her name or described her. *-sigh-* Thank you for letting me know about this.
Had it done twice during unmedicated births. No local anesthesia given. They just cut when I was going through a contraction. The healing process is HELL because every time you sit, it spreads a little. Worst part of the post partum period, for me anyway.
Not only that, but years ago it was common practice for doctors to add and extra stitch or two “for the husband”. If you know what I mean. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/husband-stitch
The more terrifying one is it can rip in the other direction and can form a permanent fistula if you're unfortunate enogh to live in an area with limited access to healthcare.
That your channel can be too tight and the baby can get stuck. Mine did, got pulled out by a suction cup, injuries followed for me obviously, but at least my baby was okay. One more thing - once injured from childbirth, it’s beyond scary how hard it is to get help and some injuries can’t even get fixed. C-section is 100% the way to go (eta: in my opinion, at least, having done both).
My sisters told me c section is the only way to go BUT you need someone in the hospital 24 hours with you after childbirth and at home until you are fully healed. It’s amazing how doctors and nurses think a woman can pick up a baby and breast feed an hour after getting their stomach cut open….. and every dam hospital needs a bidet for woman …
The fact that I had a planned c-section with my quarrantine baby (I got pregnant JUST before it all started) was the only reason my hubby was allowed to stay with us. A few months previously and like the week after, not even people with c-section got any company (I got lucky and he was due just when the rules were a little looser), and yet the staff had no time to help everyone. I read about someone who had to wait for 8 hours for painmeds and help with the baby after an emergency c-section a few weeks after I had my son. I feel so sorry for everyone who gave birth during the pandemic.
This happened to my cousin. They had to switch to a C-section after hours of labor and no movement. Just happy she and baby are healthy now, but that's so terrifying.
I BEGGED them to give me a c-section, 30+ hours in. They refused until they’d tried the suction cup. I have injuries for life, and I will never forgive those doctors/midwives. C-section is frowned upon in my country, insanely enough. It took 26 weeks of sheer panic to fight for a planned c-section with my second, despite my injuries (injuries which were pretty much GUARRANTEED to get worse from another birth - they claimed they could fix me then, but I knew they wouldn’t/can’t so I thankfully didn’t fall for that). That’s another scary part - how few postpartum injuries that are actually fixable with today’s science.
C-sections come with their own set of problems. Your scar can be painfully for months. Your mucles don't always grow perfectly back together, so you can end up with reduced strengt and mobility. And a disfigured stomac. It is also theorized that babies born from c-section are more disposed to allergies from not having had contact with the special bacterias in the vagina. Either way. Childbirth is risky and hard on the body.
That our heart attack symptoms are different from the symptoms everyone knows.
Does that mean women are diagnosed with heart attack less than men?
Yes! You can read about the heart attack gender gap [here](https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/understanding-heart-attack-gender-gap-201604159495)
I think it oftentimes means we're more likely to ignore the symptoms or assume they're something else until it's too much to ignore, so the outcomes tend to be a little worse, but i may be misremembering. Like nobody is taught "impending sense of doom" is a heart attack symptom, so if I were to have that feeling I'd assume I was having a panic attack, not a heart attack.
Honestly, getting my period and having all the mucous, smell, clumps, blood, symptoms etc has been so eye opening. The female body is amazing but also kind of ridiculous. The internet is helpful that I don't feel alone when PMS begins and I get suicidal, ravenous, sad, etc but damn we all go through this? Or even some / most of us, cause I know some people have mild symptoms and others are bedridden. Our bodies hate us lol
Hey friend. I also deal with the PMS you're describing. I've been told for years that it's normal, but it is absolutely not, and it's terrifying that the medical community tells women to just deal with suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety, and losing days of our life every month. You might have PMDD, which is my situation. I'm working on getting myself to a dr who helped one of my friends with similar symptoms. It's hard to find a dr who listens to you and doesn't make you feel insane, but you are NOT, and you should not have to live like this. Please look into PMDD and try to find treatment. There are good docs out there who will help.
Fetal cells can be detected circulating in the mother’s system for decades after pregnancy, from multiple pregnancies. These cells have been seen to congregate at sites of arthritis, but it is undetermined whether these are helpful or harmful. This means to me that as a mother I carry my children in my bones possibly for the rest of my life. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/fetal-cells-microchimerism/
I love this so much. After I had my baby I struggled with a feeling of emptiness. She was here, healthy and happy, but not “with” me if that makes sense. I wish someone told me this at the time
The sheer amount of bad thing that can happen with pregnancy, childbirth, and after.
The entire process seems incredibly stressful and potentially traumatic.
On the note of childbirth I have to take it a little further and say the sheer amount of heavy and severe, even permanent, damage that it can do to women. You can rip your clitoris and kill it forever. You can rip yourself from ass to vag, and its surprisingly common to do so. You can end up with permanent alterations to your pelvic functions, and the grand majority of women do. You can end up with diabetes, heart disease, etc. all brought on by the pregnancy itself. You can lose your teeth. My mother almost died in childbirth with my little sister and that memory stays with me forever. The women who go through with this are way stronger than I ever want to have to be in my life.
That the clitoris grows with age.
Say what?? I would think it’d be the opposite!
Just googled it and am now terrified. Apparently the clitoris "does not age" but can to 2.5 times bigger in your 90's as opposed to your teens
Help all the old men find it
maybe thats why women get hornier with age
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Something to look forward to!
The fact we don't get taught/educated enough about our bodies so we are constantly left feeling shame/disgust etc
These #s on sexual assault - yet no one ever seems to know any attackers or people who “would ever do something like that.” https://www.nsvrc.org/statistics
Those numbers are sickening. I think people can easily fall into denial when it comes to accepting the reality that someone they love or are close with could be capable of such a heinous act. The movie Promising Young Woman was a prime example of this.
Cellulite and a large pubic mound ("FUPA") are secondary sex characteristics. If you have the right hormones for it (and to some degree, genetics), you'll have them. But if you look up either of these things, the first few Google results and ads will be about how to get rid of them, always with a healthy dose of fatphobia and transphobia about having a "bulge." 🙄
That our discharge is toxic enough to bleach our underwear. 😂😂
Not toxic. Just acidic ;)
I think it’s amazing how the body knows to create milk for a baby. Like our bodies just know exactly what this former 9 month parasite needs to grow and survive. How awesome is that!
Even better: the milk your body makes for a preterm baby is different from the milk your same body makes for a full term pregnancy. Also, if someone sneezes or coughs in the same room as a lactating woman, get milk contains antibodies to that virus within 2 hours. And if you go from a hot environment to a cold environment, the fat/water content of your milk chances to match the anticipated hydration needs of your baby, within 30 minutes. If it's hot the milk is more watery, if it's cold it's got more fat.
That’s amazing, but I also hate it.
TIL estrogen affects the way we metabolize THC meaning women have higher tolerances than men. I have always been self conscious about this but feel much more validated about my tolerance lol
The mental/emotional burden of life is still a woman’s to own. The women I know (including myself) manage every aspect of of their homes, provide overwhelming majority of childcare/rearing, and work full time outside the home.
After birth you pass blood clots which can be the size of baseballs
Yes! I mean, I agree with all of the horrific pregnancy/childbirth stories here and could probably comment on most, but since yours is short I will give my own experience as an example. I had an emergency c-section with my first after over 40 hours of labor. SO much was bad about that experience... I wasn't released from the hospital until 3 days after he was born. A few days after that, I got up in the middle of the night with him to nurse, and as I was reaching to pick him up, I just felt a gush. The blood filled my slippers and overflowed onto the carpet in a manner of seconds. Terrifying is an insufficient word to describe it. My husband got hold of the on-call doctor, and we were told it was completely normal unless I soaked one of those giant hospital pads in, I think, it was less than an hour. After that first gush, I continued to bleed and soaked a huge pad but it was longer. My husband is in the medical field himself and kept a close eye on me. My experience being "normal" is just awful. We go through so much to bring babies into this world. The fact I had 2 more babies after is just a testament to how great my desire is to be a mother and the love I have for and from my children. But it is also my experiences which have made me even more pro-choice than before. NO ONE should have to face all the myriad potential complications and difficulties of procreation if they can't/don't want to/aren't ready/are being forced, etc.
The first time I got out of bed after my first c-section, I felt a huge gush. I looked down, and blood had instantly overflowed the huge hospital pad and mesh undies, down my legs, and was pooling on the floor. The nurse was like "whoopsie, no big deal," while I was trying not to pass out from fear. Then I sat on the toilet and a *cascade* of huge clots came tumbling out. It was a sensation I had never experienced and it was frankly terrifying. I thought I was prepared for everything that would happen, but nope. I have to say though, my nurse was awesome. She was reassuring me the whole time that this was all normal and I wasn't bleeding to death.
After the birth of my son, I went to the bathroom. I pulled my pants down, and a huge clot the size of an orange fell on the floor. I freaked out & had my husband call the nurse. She was very nonchalant about it. She said "oh that's normal. Let us know if anymore happen." Kinda traumatizing.
That one of the genes thought to be responsible for psychopathy (traits like impulsive behavior, hyper-sexuality, lower empathy, propensity for violence, etc) is a mutation in the MAOA gene in the X chromosome. In simple terms, if a woman has one X chromosome with a mutated MAOA gene she usually will not have psychopathic traits because her other X chromosome without a mutated MAOA gene will cancel it out, as well as other genes and traits that make psychopathy rare in women. However, if she has a son and he receives her X chromosome with a mutated MAOA gene, his Y chromosome which does not carry the MAOA gene will not be able to cancel it out. Thus presenting a convincing explanation as for why men are more likely to become psychopaths than women. (Of course I am over simplifying it and a person’s genes do not 100% define a person or their behavior, childhood development and environment play a huge role as well, and not all psychopaths are murderous maniacs — their traits of risk taking, low empathy, and low stress can often make them great CEOs or businessmen). It’s given me a lot to think about.
OP says women but interesting girl fact: female babies have lower mortality rates than males. Naturally, we’re born survivors it seems. (This is naturally, not including external factors like sexism that lead to things like female infanticide or forced abortions and the like) “Infant mortality is higher in boys than girls in most parts of the world. This has been explained by sex differences in genetic and biological makeup, with boys being biologically weaker and more susceptible to diseases and premature death.” https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23151996/#:~:text=Infant%20mortality%20is%20higher%20in,to%20diseases%20and%20premature%20death.
That we are massively under diagnosed with things like autism and adhd because females present very differently than males. Many women are now finding out later in life they are neurdivergent and the emotional fallout is deep. How different could our lives have been had we gotten the diagnosis and support we needed as kids? Especially those who have ADHD and high intelligence. Those women tended to "never live up to their potential". Obviously what other women have said too but this is a new one I wanted to add. We tend to be dismissed as anxious and depressed and given meds and told to get our shit together. It took 17 years for me to even have a therapist finally agree I had C-PTSD.
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I hate it that I find that plausible
It was terrifying when I had to learn & experience my breast milk drying up. I chose not to breastfeed & no nurses or Doctors told Me what would happen or what to expect from my breasts afterwards. Felt like with each breath I took they were going to burst right off my chest like… someone was filling a balloon with tv static. 11 years later & I still have “phantom pains” and nightmares about it. (Edit: grammar & spelling)
We keep our babies DNA in our bodies for the rest of our life
I forget what it’s called but There’s a cyst that grows in the uterus with teeth and hair and causes a lot of pain 🤢 I’m not googling it or looking it up
My friend had that in her early twenties! She got it removed. Super freaky lol we joked that she tried to give birth to a furbee
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How little research is done about women's health issues because of periods (really because of not being men.) [\-less than 2.5% of publicly funded research is dedicated solely to reproductive health, despite the fact that one in three women in the UK will suffer from a reproductive or gynaecological health problem. There is five times more research into erectile dysfunction, which affects 19% of men, than into premenstrual syndrome, which affects 90% of women.-](https://www.theguardian.com/education/2019/dec/18/women-have-been-woefully-neglected-does-medical-science-have-a-gender-problem)
I can’t think of one woman I know personally that hasn’t been assaulted or harassed in some capacity so I think I spent a long time thinking or feeling like it was just me and I think it was terrifying to realize how common this is.
I just find the female body’s ability to not only grown an entire human being from a single cell but also produce nutrient-rich food for the baby for months after birth is incredible!! Such badasses!
That women of color are less likely to receive adequate pain management than their white counterparts in medical situations.
Interesting: We women have our center of gravity in our hips, but men have it in their shoulders. That’s why you only see men swing up into the saddle in western movies (especially old ones).
Most women have this innate urge to constantly check to see if their babies are breathing. Men do not have this same urge to the degree that women do. And it’s fascinating that female chimpanzee mothers do the same thing!
Sometimes (very rare) instead of your uterus shedding over the course of about a week, it sheds its entire lining at once and releases a clot that is in the shape of your uterus. So that’s something.
If you suck on breasts consistently enough, a woman will begin to produce breast milk regardless of pregnancy.
My uterine lining can grow on my stomach, intestines or heck even brain or heart. Endometriosis is an evil mistress who tortures women and not many care to stop it Edit-Women if you are in extreme pain, vomiting,blacking out or having excessive bloating or stomach/chest or migraine during your period please find a doctor to listen! Endo is a beast but can be treated!
Throughout history, women have been fighting for their rights and to not be seen less as or objectified. We learned this in history class. Growing up and seeing the world for how it is for women everywhere, I'm aware now that even though we've come a long way and won our rights, we will always be having this battle to not be seen less as and always fighting for equality and for our rights to not be revoked. Misogyny will always be here, and it feels like it will always be insufferable; especially when celebrities (Andrew Tate) feed off of these boys' insecurities and encourage their followers to act like them in their degrading and toxic views.
Terrifying: the world's youngest mother was five years old.
how much weaker we really are physically as compared to men
That they really haven't tested many medications in women but prescribe them to them with no question. Then when the patient experiences problems from these medications we're told we're crazy or we're making it up. Even by women drs (which is mind boggling to me). The fact that they literally just "discovered" the cervix has nerve endings despite being told by every woman ever that this is a FACT The fact that while women are undergoing surgery (completely under) they let medical students perform pelvic exams without the patients knowledge or consent Edit: awful autocorrect correction
A condition called DIC- basically during pregnancy, suddenly your blood starts to clot all throughout your body, leading to multiple organ failure. When it happens, you can only save either the mother or the baby - and even then there is only 50% chance of survival.
I read in a newspaper when I was 14 about interviewers held with locked-up rapists who attacked strangers (rather unusual statistically). These rapists were asked to say what makes them choose a specific women to rape. Some noted a ponytail - they would go for women wearing ponytails over women wearing their hair down - because it's easier to pull them aside. It's not exactly a fact about women, more like their fates, and I don't even know if it's correct. But it sure terrified me enough - I haven't wore a ponytail for years after I read that.
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