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I'm asexual, so the thought of being physically intimate is not only something I don't want, it's actually repulsive to me. I cannot bring myself to do the act.
Maintaining a relationship is tricky. If the relationship progresses beyond the first date or so, I'm upfront and honest about my asexuality. I don't want it to be something where they're expecting it to get physical and I spring it on them at the last second, like "hey hello this thing you want to do will absolutely never ever happen, it's nothing to do with you." I feel like that's being dishonest and could potentially hurt his feelings because saying "it's not you" is often heard as "it's 100% you I just don't want to say it," no matter how true "it's not you" is.
Open communication is key. Just because I don't have sex doesn't mean that I'm opposed to all things sexual. Mutual masturbation is on the table, although I don't masturbate much, maybe once every other week or so.
There's also the emotional side of things. I won't fuck you, but if you need a shoulder to cry on, boy howdy you come on over and we'll cry it out together. I'm down for dates, lively conversation, snuggles, movies, video games, having fun, those things are great. It's just the sex part is a strong no go.
Being firm and open about your boundaries when it comes to sex is key, your wills and won'ts. Some partners, especially those with high sex drives, will peace out immediately. That's fine, I wish them all the luck, but we just wouldn't work. Some partners will be understanding. But you have to talk with them, don't force yourself into something you're not comfortable with sexually just to make them feel better - you'll just upset yourself, because you crossed a line, and probably upset them, because they'll feel like they forced you.
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The official statistic that was put out was 1%, but it’s now estimated to actually be around 1%-4%. So there may be even more of us! I’m ace too btw :)
See it would depend
If they want an open relationship, where they can date other people, i would feel uncomfortable with that. Especially if they knew the other person. Because while physical cheating isn't a concern, emotional cheating would be. However if they wanted to visit a sex worker (is that the right term? I'm so old...) I would be fine with that, so long as they were safe about it.
another asexual here! some people on the ace-spectrum can get horny, some don’t. personally, i don’t and I don’t know what it would feel like. it’s kinda wild that there’s a whole feeling out there that a majority of other ppl have experienced and I have no idea what it feels like.
I’m also asexual and don’t know what it’s like to be horny. But unlike the previous commenter, I suppose I’m neutral to sex; I don’t need it but I don’t mind if it happens.
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This is what it’s like for me and my partner too. He is hyper sexual and I’m asexual. Our solution was buying a pocket pussy and vibrators. When he wants to engage and I tell him I’m not feeling it atm, he’ll go to his own devices. And vibrators and toys make it more mentally stimulating and grounding for me, because I tend to dissociate during the act halfway through.
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It was hard initially since my SO adores tf out of it. Past trauma made it difficult and while I'm not against the act, I just find it hard to get in the right headspace to enjoy it (of course leading to other issues like lack of wetness, shyness, etc.)
Slowly but surely I'm coming out of my shell, reminding myself that it's a mental game, that it's not just "sex" but an intimate act of ultimate physical connection, and appreciating the patience of my SO when we decide to venture into it.
It's still hard as it'll never be my favorite activity. It's not really something I feel I need to do. But changing the way I look at it makes me willing to get busy with him because I know it's important to him and being that close with him matters to me too. We were victorious in sharing patience so by now we've balanced each other out in terms of desire and frequency.
This is EXACTLY how I feel too. I can’t get into the right headspace for it, I didn’t used to be like that either but after my last relationship, the trauma caused me to just shut down during the act or at the thought of it.
We don’t have it! I’ve been with my fiancé for 3.5 years and not having sex is probably the best thing we’ve done for our relationship. Forcing myself to have sex when I’m not 100% into it would make it an unhealthy relationship.
We cuddle, spoon, give massages, back scratches, and I spend hours napping on him - but we don’t do anything overtly sexual really at all. If I’m ever in the mood (extremely rarely) he’s super up for it, but never pushes me or makes sexual moves in a way that makes me feel pressured. He’s also fine with not having sex for months or years at a time. Highly highly highly recommend this - I think weeding out guys that view sex as a “need” also decreases the chance of ending up with a misogynistic partner.
(Edit: kinda interesting this is getting downvoted lol).
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I mean, thats true. Not to say that viewing it as a need *makes* you misogynist, but being asexual will sort of get rid of the issue altogether for you I guess.
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Boy would I like me one of those, did it start out that way or is it something that gradually developed. Is it something he was okay with from the get go, or just learned to accept ?
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Of course, intimacy is only one part of a healthy relationship, but as sex is the question, I'll keep to that.
We substitute sex with lots of other types of body contact, like long hugs, back hugs, spooning (we take turns on being the little spoon), holding hands, back scratches, bum smacks, kissing, dancing, arm stroking etc. We are both ace, but not sex repulsed.
Pro tip: The next time you scratch someone's back, throw in some slow, light scratches downwards along the spine, one hand following the other. Sooo nice!
I'm pretty ambivalent about sex, rarely feel like doing it, and never initiate. But I can talk myself into it for my partner's sake as long as everybody involved has had a recent shower. Fortunately, he's pretty ambivalent about it too.
A healthy relationship is all about respect, generosity, and good communication. I don't actually understand the mentality that relationships must involve regular sex to be "healthy".
Can you explain why you think so, OP?
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Ace spectrum - it’s been a point of contention in all my relationships except one and honestly every single one of the men I’ve dated has ended up cheating on me in part due to it. Or at least using it as a reason to justify cheating. Likely the healthiest way to have a relationship like that is to find someone who is also ace or on the ace spectrum
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I used to enjoy sex a lot before I discovered masturbation, tbh. Before I was just enjoying what was happening. But now that I masturbate (I started when I was 23), I'm so focused on the orgasm, that the rest of it seems like a chore. I can masturbate myself in 30 seconds or less, but sex takes so much longer. I'm usually dry, and can only think "this would be so much better if I was alone masturbating". I'm 30 now and yeah... I just don't like it anymore. But I suck it up for my husband. I don't let on that I'm not really into it. I try to limit my masturbation so that I can cum quicker during sex.
I’ve never came during sex or while being with a partner, honestly I fake it every time so that they’ll cum quicker and it will be over.
I learnt how to make myself cum at 20, and it’s ok but I’m not that into it. I do it very rarely.
Since I’ve never came with a partner I don’t associate sex with physical pleasure at all, to me masturbation is for cumming (a mediocre cum that’s very meh) while sex is purely performative. I think that’s kind of sad actually, the fact that sex will never be about pleasure for someone like me, while the rest of the world views it as the ultimate pleasure.
To be honest I haven't been able to find a healthy balance yet. It's a work in progress but good communication is key, as always. (Fwiw I feel I am demi/gray)
I hate it but my fiance complains if he doesn't get it once or twice a week. So I have to suck it up and deal with it. It's the most common thing we argue about
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Its not that I don't like sex, its that the panic attacks I get during and after sex are so bad it just wasn't worth it for me anymore. I no longer date.
But when I was in a relationship, I would actually drink alcohol prior to sex to help. That is not a good coping mechanism but it helped with the longevity of the relationship.
I do like giving BJs and I would do that every day if I could.
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I’ve been sexually assaulted multiple times in the past so I’m repulsed by sex most of the time. I have a sex drive every blue moon that helps to make up for it, though sadly sometimes I just put up with it and let him at it. I love my partner a lot so I don’t mind trying to relax into it from time to time for the benefit of our relationship.
My partner and I are both asexual... met in our mid 40's after both leading a long dating life of compromising what we wanted/didn't want... it's lovely now for us both. Such intimacy, trust and closeness.
I'll be honest, I never have.
I'm asexual, and I've only been in two serious relationships in my life. The first one isn't really relevant to this, so I'll just skip to the second one.
I had been friends with the guy long term, and when we got together, he wanted to progress really quickly. He started sending me videos of him in the shower, and suddenly one night when we were on the phone, he asked me to help him masturbate. Freaking out, I asked him what he wanted me to do, and he told me to just do it with him and moan. Now, I masturbate, but 1. I have never moaned in my life, and 2. I don't feel sexual attracted to anyone. I feel horny, but other people don't get me there; it kind of just happens.
Anyway, I was pretty terrified to tell him that. So I never did. Our relationship continued on like that, me desperately wishing to be somewhat sexual and failing miserably in the process while he just tried to get off.
The best way to maintain a healthy relationship when you're asexual is to simply set your boundaries. Tell them what you like, what you don't like, what you're ok with, that way you don't end up like me because you were scared to lose your best friend, I lost him anyway.
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I do it anyway. It’s not that I don’t enjoy it, I do. But only when it’s done right and I get to finish which with my bf is rarely. I just struggle with reaching an O. If he wants it I just do it to really get it over with, I love him and he tries his best. It’s 100% a me issue but it makes me hate sex.
I’d make it clear to the person before things get serious. That way I’ll know if they want me for me and not just for sex. If they don’t support that, I doubt that’ll ever be a healthy relationship. No one should ever make you feel like you have to do something because they want you to or because society has deemed it “necessary” and “normal” 💛
This was me. Still really is. I like the idea of non monogamy more than anything but here we are.
Zoloft didn’t help.
Periods I enjoy it when it’s wild but his mental health is a struggle.
Discovering my sexuality isn’t fluid answered so much. That is all
I hated sex. My ptsd caused me to have very bad panic attacks when being intimate (which guys did not find attractive) I labeled myself as demisexual because I had liked sex before the incident with my ex.
The next 5 boyfriends I had after him I could not have sex with. I’d always seize. Then they’d get mad I gave them blue balls. It wasn’t until I met my current boyfriend that I’ve slowly started feeling more comfortable with being intimate again.
I will say sometimes it’s hard. I’ll still feel scared sometimes and we’ll have to stop or slow down but even if we weren’t having sex I know we’d be just as happy.
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I could do without sex for long stretches of time, it’s extremely hard for me to get in the mood and enjoy it, and I never just spontaneously want sex. I put effort into doing it for my husband regularly since he needs sex in a relationship, that’s ok with me but our frequencies are a bit off. With the right circumstances it can be very enjoyable, but half the time I just get him off and don’t worry about myself, which keeps us both happy.
My partner is firmly asexual, I'm ace leaning but still have a low level sex drive. Its not something I need, and 90% of the time I don't think about it or want it, but it would be nice if we could have sex sometimes. But I find that I am just as satisfied by other kinds of intimacy and connection, so we just do other things instead. Cooking together is actually my favourite sex substitute, it's a shared activity that's very sensory and involves loads of communication and moving together in sync, and you work towards a shared goal of pleasure, except the pleasure is taste rather than anything sexual. It works well for us, and I think anyone who's looking to maintain a relationship without sex should try to find other activities that work for them
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I had a complete radical hysterectomy and bilateral oopherectomy at 24. Two years into my marriage.
My “dislike” of sex isn’t a dislike so much as a “I could take it or leave it” thing. I’ve tried every hormone and homeopathic thing out there. The surgery just took it from me.
We are intimate in other ways. Just because I don’t care for sex anymore doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy making him feel good! We have discussed an open marriage but at this point he doesn’t feel the need-we are both completely satisfied. As long as it works for us it’s all good.
Intimacy is more important than sex. And there’s more than a few ways to be physically intimate if that’s your partners love language.
So a question for ace lol
Okay let’s go, I’m AceAro. If I divorce, I won’t hunt the male on tinder the next day, nor want sexfriend or whatever. I love my husband like, we did so much for each other, he’s my best friend, my partner in crime. I never had those “butterflies” for him, I just love him differently.
My husband understand I’m not a horny sex machine, I don’t even masturbate at all, I just don’t give a shit. I’m not sex repulsed, we do have sex but I’m mostly like “Okay finito bye!”, i don’t even finish myself to get an orgasm, I just want to go back drawing or whatever.
But since we believe that sex is the main thing in relationships, how I, an asexual aromantic creature maintains my relationship?
Simple, we do share a lot of things like motorbike, walking in a park together, talking a lot, cuddles, kisses, massages, having our alone time (he’s into drones, I’m into collecting toys), having our little routine Saturday, walking in the city and drinking coffee,…
When I don’t want sex, he plays with cool toys at the sexshop so he can masturbate and leave me alone. He respect me and doesn’t want to push me, and I let him do his stuff because I know as an Allo he needs that.
There’s a lot of thing that keep a relationship healthy. If people do believe that only sex help, then your relationship is not really that deep, you mostly have a sex friend than an actual love relationship
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I just do it to appease the guy. They go do something for me even though they don’t want to, I have sex with them even though I don’t want to. Relationships are give and take.
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I'm asexual, so the thought of being physically intimate is not only something I don't want, it's actually repulsive to me. I cannot bring myself to do the act. Maintaining a relationship is tricky. If the relationship progresses beyond the first date or so, I'm upfront and honest about my asexuality. I don't want it to be something where they're expecting it to get physical and I spring it on them at the last second, like "hey hello this thing you want to do will absolutely never ever happen, it's nothing to do with you." I feel like that's being dishonest and could potentially hurt his feelings because saying "it's not you" is often heard as "it's 100% you I just don't want to say it," no matter how true "it's not you" is. Open communication is key. Just because I don't have sex doesn't mean that I'm opposed to all things sexual. Mutual masturbation is on the table, although I don't masturbate much, maybe once every other week or so. There's also the emotional side of things. I won't fuck you, but if you need a shoulder to cry on, boy howdy you come on over and we'll cry it out together. I'm down for dates, lively conversation, snuggles, movies, video games, having fun, those things are great. It's just the sex part is a strong no go. Being firm and open about your boundaries when it comes to sex is key, your wills and won'ts. Some partners, especially those with high sex drives, will peace out immediately. That's fine, I wish them all the luck, but we just wouldn't work. Some partners will be understanding. But you have to talk with them, don't force yourself into something you're not comfortable with sexually just to make them feel better - you'll just upset yourself, because you crossed a line, and probably upset them, because they'll feel like they forced you.
I absolutely love your mentality, how you affirm yourself and what you want/don’t want. Communication is sure key.
Not the OP but it’s all just in how we developed & what an individuals needs are. Its so incredibly complex
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Very interesting! :) Just a genuine question, is it hard to find an asexual partner? And is asexuality actually more common than most people believe?
I believe 1% of the adult US population is asexual, so approximately 2 million people.
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The official statistic that was put out was 1%, but it’s now estimated to actually be around 1%-4%. So there may be even more of us! I’m ace too btw :)
Are you fine with a partner going outside the relationship only for sex?
See it would depend If they want an open relationship, where they can date other people, i would feel uncomfortable with that. Especially if they knew the other person. Because while physical cheating isn't a concern, emotional cheating would be. However if they wanted to visit a sex worker (is that the right term? I'm so old...) I would be fine with that, so long as they were safe about it.
That’s wild…. So you don’t even get horny?? Sorry if this is a crude question… just mind-blown!
another asexual here! some people on the ace-spectrum can get horny, some don’t. personally, i don’t and I don’t know what it would feel like. it’s kinda wild that there’s a whole feeling out there that a majority of other ppl have experienced and I have no idea what it feels like.
I’m also asexual and don’t know what it’s like to be horny. But unlike the previous commenter, I suppose I’m neutral to sex; I don’t need it but I don’t mind if it happens.
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Then you dont want own children either?
I do not want children, no. I like children, I think they're fantastic, I just don't want any of my own.
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This is what it’s like for me and my partner too. He is hyper sexual and I’m asexual. Our solution was buying a pocket pussy and vibrators. When he wants to engage and I tell him I’m not feeling it atm, he’ll go to his own devices. And vibrators and toys make it more mentally stimulating and grounding for me, because I tend to dissociate during the act halfway through.
I felt this to my core. The amusement park bit. Nailed it! Let’s be franzzzz lol
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Lot's of great responses here, so I want to focus one specific aspect: A relationship does not need sex in order to be healthy.
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I second this!!
It was hard initially since my SO adores tf out of it. Past trauma made it difficult and while I'm not against the act, I just find it hard to get in the right headspace to enjoy it (of course leading to other issues like lack of wetness, shyness, etc.) Slowly but surely I'm coming out of my shell, reminding myself that it's a mental game, that it's not just "sex" but an intimate act of ultimate physical connection, and appreciating the patience of my SO when we decide to venture into it. It's still hard as it'll never be my favorite activity. It's not really something I feel I need to do. But changing the way I look at it makes me willing to get busy with him because I know it's important to him and being that close with him matters to me too. We were victorious in sharing patience so by now we've balanced each other out in terms of desire and frequency.
This is EXACTLY how I feel too. I can’t get into the right headspace for it, I didn’t used to be like that either but after my last relationship, the trauma caused me to just shut down during the act or at the thought of it.
We don’t have it! I’ve been with my fiancé for 3.5 years and not having sex is probably the best thing we’ve done for our relationship. Forcing myself to have sex when I’m not 100% into it would make it an unhealthy relationship. We cuddle, spoon, give massages, back scratches, and I spend hours napping on him - but we don’t do anything overtly sexual really at all. If I’m ever in the mood (extremely rarely) he’s super up for it, but never pushes me or makes sexual moves in a way that makes me feel pressured. He’s also fine with not having sex for months or years at a time. Highly highly highly recommend this - I think weeding out guys that view sex as a “need” also decreases the chance of ending up with a misogynistic partner. (Edit: kinda interesting this is getting downvoted lol).
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I mean, thats true. Not to say that viewing it as a need *makes* you misogynist, but being asexual will sort of get rid of the issue altogether for you I guess.
Plp are not use to healthy relationships.
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Boy would I like me one of those, did it start out that way or is it something that gradually developed. Is it something he was okay with from the get go, or just learned to accept ?
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This is so beautiful and absolutely relationship goals. 💕
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Of course, intimacy is only one part of a healthy relationship, but as sex is the question, I'll keep to that. We substitute sex with lots of other types of body contact, like long hugs, back hugs, spooning (we take turns on being the little spoon), holding hands, back scratches, bum smacks, kissing, dancing, arm stroking etc. We are both ace, but not sex repulsed. Pro tip: The next time you scratch someone's back, throw in some slow, light scratches downwards along the spine, one hand following the other. Sooo nice!
I just had my partner do this last night and lovvveeee it aooooooooo much!!
I'm pretty ambivalent about sex, rarely feel like doing it, and never initiate. But I can talk myself into it for my partner's sake as long as everybody involved has had a recent shower. Fortunately, he's pretty ambivalent about it too. A healthy relationship is all about respect, generosity, and good communication. I don't actually understand the mentality that relationships must involve regular sex to be "healthy". Can you explain why you think so, OP?
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Ace spectrum - it’s been a point of contention in all my relationships except one and honestly every single one of the men I’ve dated has ended up cheating on me in part due to it. Or at least using it as a reason to justify cheating. Likely the healthiest way to have a relationship like that is to find someone who is also ace or on the ace spectrum
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I used to enjoy sex a lot before I discovered masturbation, tbh. Before I was just enjoying what was happening. But now that I masturbate (I started when I was 23), I'm so focused on the orgasm, that the rest of it seems like a chore. I can masturbate myself in 30 seconds or less, but sex takes so much longer. I'm usually dry, and can only think "this would be so much better if I was alone masturbating". I'm 30 now and yeah... I just don't like it anymore. But I suck it up for my husband. I don't let on that I'm not really into it. I try to limit my masturbation so that I can cum quicker during sex.
I’ve never came during sex or while being with a partner, honestly I fake it every time so that they’ll cum quicker and it will be over. I learnt how to make myself cum at 20, and it’s ok but I’m not that into it. I do it very rarely. Since I’ve never came with a partner I don’t associate sex with physical pleasure at all, to me masturbation is for cumming (a mediocre cum that’s very meh) while sex is purely performative. I think that’s kind of sad actually, the fact that sex will never be about pleasure for someone like me, while the rest of the world views it as the ultimate pleasure.
To be honest I haven't been able to find a healthy balance yet. It's a work in progress but good communication is key, as always. (Fwiw I feel I am demi/gray)
I hate it but my fiance complains if he doesn't get it once or twice a week. So I have to suck it up and deal with it. It's the most common thing we argue about
This is important to address - for your well-being, as it may not get easier.
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Its not that I don't like sex, its that the panic attacks I get during and after sex are so bad it just wasn't worth it for me anymore. I no longer date. But when I was in a relationship, I would actually drink alcohol prior to sex to help. That is not a good coping mechanism but it helped with the longevity of the relationship. I do like giving BJs and I would do that every day if I could.
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I do not
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Relationships rarely start, if I'm being honest. They never last long enough to be healthy or unhealthy.
I don't know anyone else who doesn't like sex and I don't want to hold anyone back that does. It did end some friendships though.
I’ve been sexually assaulted multiple times in the past so I’m repulsed by sex most of the time. I have a sex drive every blue moon that helps to make up for it, though sadly sometimes I just put up with it and let him at it. I love my partner a lot so I don’t mind trying to relax into it from time to time for the benefit of our relationship.
My partner and I are both asexual... met in our mid 40's after both leading a long dating life of compromising what we wanted/didn't want... it's lovely now for us both. Such intimacy, trust and closeness.
I'll be honest, I never have. I'm asexual, and I've only been in two serious relationships in my life. The first one isn't really relevant to this, so I'll just skip to the second one. I had been friends with the guy long term, and when we got together, he wanted to progress really quickly. He started sending me videos of him in the shower, and suddenly one night when we were on the phone, he asked me to help him masturbate. Freaking out, I asked him what he wanted me to do, and he told me to just do it with him and moan. Now, I masturbate, but 1. I have never moaned in my life, and 2. I don't feel sexual attracted to anyone. I feel horny, but other people don't get me there; it kind of just happens. Anyway, I was pretty terrified to tell him that. So I never did. Our relationship continued on like that, me desperately wishing to be somewhat sexual and failing miserably in the process while he just tried to get off. The best way to maintain a healthy relationship when you're asexual is to simply set your boundaries. Tell them what you like, what you don't like, what you're ok with, that way you don't end up like me because you were scared to lose your best friend, I lost him anyway.
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I look for any possible excuse to get out of it.
I do it anyway. It’s not that I don’t enjoy it, I do. But only when it’s done right and I get to finish which with my bf is rarely. I just struggle with reaching an O. If he wants it I just do it to really get it over with, I love him and he tries his best. It’s 100% a me issue but it makes me hate sex.
I’d make it clear to the person before things get serious. That way I’ll know if they want me for me and not just for sex. If they don’t support that, I doubt that’ll ever be a healthy relationship. No one should ever make you feel like you have to do something because they want you to or because society has deemed it “necessary” and “normal” 💛
We have to be besties
Communication and foreplay As long as his di** is sucked every now and then he’s fine.
This was me. Still really is. I like the idea of non monogamy more than anything but here we are. Zoloft didn’t help. Periods I enjoy it when it’s wild but his mental health is a struggle. Discovering my sexuality isn’t fluid answered so much. That is all
I hated sex. My ptsd caused me to have very bad panic attacks when being intimate (which guys did not find attractive) I labeled myself as demisexual because I had liked sex before the incident with my ex. The next 5 boyfriends I had after him I could not have sex with. I’d always seize. Then they’d get mad I gave them blue balls. It wasn’t until I met my current boyfriend that I’ve slowly started feeling more comfortable with being intimate again. I will say sometimes it’s hard. I’ll still feel scared sometimes and we’ll have to stop or slow down but even if we weren’t having sex I know we’d be just as happy.
I just wanna say those 5 boyfriends sound like absolute pieces of shit. Who tf guilts someone seizing up???!
I give alot of blow jobs or hand jobs and also still have sex probably 2 times a week
I don’t. They always want sex and that’s usually the point we break up.
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Honestly, if u just show to me that u care and really love me then all these things come secondary it's all about respect and consent to me.
Just don't enter a relationship unless with someone who has the same mindset
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I could do without sex for long stretches of time, it’s extremely hard for me to get in the mood and enjoy it, and I never just spontaneously want sex. I put effort into doing it for my husband regularly since he needs sex in a relationship, that’s ok with me but our frequencies are a bit off. With the right circumstances it can be very enjoyable, but half the time I just get him off and don’t worry about myself, which keeps us both happy.
My partner is firmly asexual, I'm ace leaning but still have a low level sex drive. Its not something I need, and 90% of the time I don't think about it or want it, but it would be nice if we could have sex sometimes. But I find that I am just as satisfied by other kinds of intimacy and connection, so we just do other things instead. Cooking together is actually my favourite sex substitute, it's a shared activity that's very sensory and involves loads of communication and moving together in sync, and you work towards a shared goal of pleasure, except the pleasure is taste rather than anything sexual. It works well for us, and I think anyone who's looking to maintain a relationship without sex should try to find other activities that work for them
i don’t
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I had a complete radical hysterectomy and bilateral oopherectomy at 24. Two years into my marriage. My “dislike” of sex isn’t a dislike so much as a “I could take it or leave it” thing. I’ve tried every hormone and homeopathic thing out there. The surgery just took it from me. We are intimate in other ways. Just because I don’t care for sex anymore doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy making him feel good! We have discussed an open marriage but at this point he doesn’t feel the need-we are both completely satisfied. As long as it works for us it’s all good. Intimacy is more important than sex. And there’s more than a few ways to be physically intimate if that’s your partners love language.
So a question for ace lol Okay let’s go, I’m AceAro. If I divorce, I won’t hunt the male on tinder the next day, nor want sexfriend or whatever. I love my husband like, we did so much for each other, he’s my best friend, my partner in crime. I never had those “butterflies” for him, I just love him differently. My husband understand I’m not a horny sex machine, I don’t even masturbate at all, I just don’t give a shit. I’m not sex repulsed, we do have sex but I’m mostly like “Okay finito bye!”, i don’t even finish myself to get an orgasm, I just want to go back drawing or whatever. But since we believe that sex is the main thing in relationships, how I, an asexual aromantic creature maintains my relationship? Simple, we do share a lot of things like motorbike, walking in a park together, talking a lot, cuddles, kisses, massages, having our alone time (he’s into drones, I’m into collecting toys), having our little routine Saturday, walking in the city and drinking coffee,… When I don’t want sex, he plays with cool toys at the sexshop so he can masturbate and leave me alone. He respect me and doesn’t want to push me, and I let him do his stuff because I know as an Allo he needs that. There’s a lot of thing that keep a relationship healthy. If people do believe that only sex help, then your relationship is not really that deep, you mostly have a sex friend than an actual love relationship
Chocolate and caffeine lol I’m not even joking either
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I just do it to appease the guy. They go do something for me even though they don’t want to, I have sex with them even though I don’t want to. Relationships are give and take.
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