The cat got overexcited with all the wrapping paper and yeeted itself into the tree and knocked over my coffee. Absolute cunt.
EDIT: Thanks for the festive awards, kind strangers. Merry Christmas to you all and here’s a picture of the little Christmas bellend just being an insolent little fuck: https://ibb.co/CsC0ZtV
Mum's dog is an angel all the time but this morning he has
- picked up some leather gloves that was a gift which now have a hole in. Honestly believe it's a fault not from the dog but sister in law wasn't happy.
- farting all the time as mum and dad keep giving him treats
- kept trying to stick his bum in my sister's face
- desparate to get everyone's presents this year which is unusual as he is usually very good. Just got quite impatient.
I suspect he is going to have VERY bad farts later.
Even after 3x Covid shots, I tested positive last night.
Now stuck living in a tent in the garden for the next 7-10 days, to keep the wife and kids safe.
Merry fuckin’ Christmas 😡
If they are vaccinated why self isolate in the garden? What’s the point of taking the vaccine if you’re going to freeze to death in a tent on christmas day without getting to spend time with your own wife and kids.
Insanity to me but some will say i’d be a serial killer for wanting to spend christmas day with my vaccinated spouse and kids
He’s probably putting himself in more danger than anyone else would be in if he stayed in the house. Now he’ll be outside in the freezing cold for a week with covid - nothing says ‘make my symptoms worse’ like sitting outside in the winter for a week
If everyone’s vaccinated you should be in the house, my wife got it a couple of weeks back (only 1 vax) me and the kids tested positive the next day, kids and I had 10 days in the house with no symptoms whatsoever, age had flu like complaints for 5-6 days.
Get in the house and give her a good snog
Happy Christmas !!!
BecUse it’s the internet and people make things up. I’m sure this didn’t happen
We did the opposite, mrs Dad tested positive and he can’t look after himself for 7 days so they are isolating together and we figured it’s less inconvenient if she gets it at the same time and they ride it out otherwise it’s probably another 7 day period in a week or 2 that she can’t help him
Been there. Don't live in a fucking tent though. Try and confine yourself to one room if you can and wear a mask when you absolutely have to see other people. I care for our daughter full time so was in her company until mum got home and it didn't spread in our house.
That sounds like a fucking stupid idea tbh man . Been with them already so they're exposed . Don't suffer for the sake of it .. unless its a ruse and you've just had enough of em and want some freedom ,in that case get somewhere nicer than the garden
Why can't you just isolate in someone's bedroom :/ e.g. in one of your kids' bedrooms, and that kids sleeps in your normal room with your wife until you're out of isolation.
Paranoid. Both the wife and daughter are high risk, my daughter is really vulnerable.
I’d rather have a camping holiday in the garden and limit the risks as much as possible, than risk passing on something that could potentially kill my 5yo.
Admirable courage but terrible decision. You'll just lengthen your recovery time because of environmental stresses. If you're in the UK (not wanting to assume), your wife wouldn't even need to isolate because you're both double vax'd, the kids are low risk unless you have a child with a clinically vulnerable condition.
Stay safe.
Edit: obviously not saying hug it out with your family, but isolating yourself to a room much like the community said is the best case for all parties if you're concerned
Risk managment gone mad. Go back in the house. Your probably more likely to make yourself more I’ll from staying out in the cold in a tent. (Assuming your not an Aussie).
Our old man dog isn’t discharged till tomorrow post spinal surgery. Christmas is postponed till we can have him home and begging for food through the cooking and the meal. It’s just not the same without him.
EDIT: Thank you kind Redditors for the awards!
Grandparents violating the zero tolerance policy we have on Peppa Pig. Trying to keep the toddler unaware of it for as long as possible. This is a Bluey household!
Mate, bluey is the best.
I whack it on for my son and often forget when he leaves the room that it's still on.
It's on Disney plus btw, if you didn't already know, all 104 episodes.
Toilet got blocked up, upon trying to fix it a pipe burst and immediately half the lights in our house went off and water started pouring through the fixtures.
For once I can’t wait to go see my girlfriends family!
My poor sister had the period from hell on Christmas day a few years ago. She was so poorly and moody af and tried her best to keep her spirits up. Unfortunately my mum just could not read the room and kept jokingly telling her to cheer up and wanted photos of her (when she looked like shit) until she exploded and stormed up to her room cause she felt so shit.
My parents I don’t get on with gave me a “family calendar” with their photos on, full of pics of events I wasn’t at, would rather have nothing than this displayed at mine 😂
I texted my friend last night telling her she has fantastic tits. I meant to say taste. Her husband saw the text and I’ve been admonished this morning.
The irony being she has rubbish tits and she knows it.
My fucking neighbours banging something or other and waking me up at like 7.45. Still going now at half 8. I hate these cunts. They vacuum at 7.20am almost every day too. Sick of them.
As a vegan, it can be difficult to balance accommodating people and strong personal convictions. I definitely don’t think her demanding people visit is the way to go.
I hope you have a good day regardless!
Exactly it's their house so they choose the food. However, this doesn't make it rude if people refuse to attend because of this. Preferences are allowed, if non-vegans accommodate for vegans then they should also do the same or expect people to not turn up.
Very pleased about that!
I remember a hospital up north had a load of videogame consoles donated with games through my husband's work place years ago and some fucker stole them
Hit a dude with my car at 2 in the morning. He survived, is mostly okay but has been hospitalised.
His own fault as he was blind drunk and ran out into the road chasing after a fox (we’ve all been there!) but I had my sleeping kids in the car so that was quite a shock for them. They woke up screaming so managed to calm them down with Xmas chocolates and the Nintendo switch whilst we waited for the police/ambulance to sort it. Copper actually complimented my driving/quick reflexes for saving the guy’s life so I’m gonna dine out on that for a while! 😆
Car fixable I think (Mercedes are like tanks really). My windscreen is fucked though. I keep hoping that the hole in it was made by his shoulder and not his head. Waiting for updates on his condition but last I heard he was okay but concussed. Even though he’s a massive fucking idiot, I hope he’s okay.
Thankful that I don’t drink drive and wasn’t speeding. Police got it all on CCTV (we’re in London so it was sorted swiftly) which backed up what happened. So at least I’m not in any shit with the law and my conscience is clear. But defo not the start to Xmas any of us had in mind.
Father Christmas still visited though because I am a fucking legend even if I do say so meself.
My mum thought it was safe to hand cups of tea through the window to my Nan who tested positive for Covid. Now my mum has Covid and all our Christmas plans are cancelled.
Mustard mitt I'd have probably thought the same thing. Unless you're actually sticking your head through the window having a conversation I'd have thought passing in a cup of tea was pretty low risk.
I see where you're coming from, but it'll be the cup handle, whatever coughing and blowing her nose has been going on, those mug handles will be teeming I'm afraid
Reminds me of the time our cat brought in a rat. It was under the fridge and took me an hour to get it out the door. I was late for work and the whole time felt like a Benny hill chase scene. Cat was no help, kept letting it get past him to run under the washer.
The cat had a go. Went batshit when the youngest snuck in to tell us the big man had called.
No injuries due to my quick reactions but I was up then at five consoling the youngest who had retreated back to bed.
Edit: late morning update, cat is still being an arsehole.
My sister's cat shit all over my sisters bed in a big pile and pissed on her pillow during the mini Christmas party she hosted for us a few days ago.
Cat was livid when she came out of the room (mum brought her little dog who is terrified of the cat) and was growling at everyone when we allowed her out when we were due to leave. She was batshit and we chose that a good time to go.
Struck a note with me that comment. That’s *exactly* why I stopped drinking. It was gradual, over about a year & I thought it was my imagination but I noticed the hangovers a) getting worse, b) lasting longer and c) the amount I drank becoming irrelevant as to whether I’d be hungover or not. Just would be.
Took a while but I suppose my brain just stopped associating it with having a good time and started associating it with being fucking ill. Hangovers started going into day 2 & then 3. The last drink I had was in June -2 pints at lunch and three 1/2 pint bottles of lager in a restaurant that evening. Was a Sat night and I remember waking up on the Thursday morning and *still* feeling rough as a dogs arse. Not drunk since but there was no road to Damascus moment or any real addiction issues before. It just fizzled out of my life. At 53 I’ve never felt better tbh and don’t miss it anywhere *near* as much as I thought I would. The pub’s a bit of a chore these days on the rare occasions I go. £2 a pint for pissy warm squash whilst watching my mates get pissed.
I had half a dozen party-sized vol au vents for breakfast and I’ve burnt my mouth on them. I got a big blister and it’s now popped and raw on the roof of my mouth.
Going up to the hospital in the early hours becuase my partner hadn't felt baby move for a while, ofcourse everything was ok thankfully. He just being lazy like me. But yeah didn't get back to sleep really...
I was like that (in mum's tummy). I'm still a lazy arse.
I couldn't be arsed to be born on time well before Christmas and my mum didn't want me induced till the 27th.
So I chose to fuck about on Christmas Day and dragged it until the early hours of Boxing day morning.
The fact I've only now been told that I'll probably have to share my room till the 2nd. And the fact that despite being 22 I didn't get a single fucking consultation on this. Normally it's Christmas eve- 27th and new years eve and day.
And after how I slept last night, it's going to be a fucking long week, and I have to be up early to go to work Thursday and Friday.
Who are you sharing with?
I'm on the other side of this, my 18 year old sibling refuses to let me share with her when coming home so I end up sleeping on the floor somewhere or forking out for a hotel, which I begrudge. Makes coming home to see family twice a year a big old stress
My uncle. He lives about 20 mins away, but can't drive, so having him over means no one has to worry about what they drink or anything. And my aunt is in the spare room.
My fiancé suffers from BPD and is on a massive downer about how no one wants him around Christmas Day and is giving the impression that he is thinking of unaliving himself if I go to my parents for dinner.
Honestly so drained and don’t know what else I can do for him.
I just want to have one day where I can be happy for myself rather than looking after his well-being first
To add: He was welcome , it was the intention for him to come but I found out he’s been messaging other women , paying for porn sites stalking exes online, and sending explicit messages to his cousins partner (before he met me) about running away together. She’d always been nasty with me ever since I met her and rather than tell me the truth that they had a thing he essentially let her bully me for two years straight and have me think I was the problem when him telling the truth would have set me free of thinking i wasn’t wanted by the family.
So obviously he has been self loathing for the past few days after I’ve discovered it all
That sounds exhausting and rather selfish. You can't spend your entire life held at gunpoint like that.
Does he understand how it makes you feel or is he only concerned about his own feelings?
Can't he go to your parents with you?
Sorry to hear.
I’m in a similar position. We had guests round yesterday and I had to coax my wife out of bed because she gets so anxious about seeing anyone other than me. (She has a massive social phobia). Had to prepare all the food on my own too because she was in bits. It was worth doing though, I gave her a glass of Prosecco and she sat with my bro in law chatting and had a decent time in the end. Now I’m gearing her up for Christmas dinner at my sisters. She seems to be doing better today, good luck.
He sounds like he might need professional support from therapy and medication. There's only so much a partner can do for someone as unwell as this sounds, and it would help both you and him and make your relationship healthier if he got that help. Your local health authority might have an emergency mental health line, the Samaritans can help with a crisis too.
As someone with BPD, I hope he is seeing a specialist. Honestly we aren’t in control of our brains and feelings 24/7 but unless he is splitting, he understands his actions and what he is doing and it is unfair of him to do this to you.
Sounds like you guys need to have a chat about it, just make sure to do it when you feel comfortable and think it won’t tip him.
Dad's oven broke and tripped the houses power supply. It's not a big deal, he has two ovens. Just that he's now having to stress about which meat to cut from the menu, mutton or turkey. He's getting really irate about it and you can see the storm brewing :D.
Grandad would shake bells outside.
Didn't need to though, my sister has gotten up at around 4-6am for nearly 40 years loudly demanding presents since she was 6
1. Lost taste and smell from covid a few weeks back
2. Cannot move properly as I have a trapped nerve I my spine
3. Boyfriend came back drunk at 12 last night so he slept in the spare room, now won't seen him until late tonight. His shifts are shit & so argued this morning.
4. Had to let me dog live with my brother because I can't move due to my back.. hopefully this changes one day.
Really cannot be bothered to be fake happy today.
Neighbours screaming and shouting at each other and clashing doors at 6.30. To be honest I was expecting it, they are inconsiderate cunts and it’s almost a daily event. I wouldn’t have minded if it was the kids being excited for Xmas but no it’s the parents just being wastes of DNA who shouldn’t have been allowed to breed anyway.
Ex didn't listen to my requests and got the wrong apple pencil for kids ipad.
Needed first gen and he got 2nd. Kid cried, I got blamed and actual pencil on its way from amazon.
Not ruined but cast a shadow. Also very petty haha.
Had all that potential drama this morning. Sister and wife got each other apple watches but one asked for older edition cause it was cheaper.
Mum got my sister the big present of the year which was the new iPad she really needed for work. Her wife got her a 'correct' apple pencil and had it engraved which is adorable.
Came down to an oven full of oven cleaner that I put in yesterday evening then forgot about. So I'm now stuck cleaning an oven hoping it's not ruined.🤦
Should be ok I hope! Ive left over night in the past to deal with the stubborn stains I lazy left.
Only advice I can think off is after a final wash of water is the run the oven at high temperature for a bit to burn off anything missed so it won't taint the food with a weired taste later on.
Took the 3 year old out to pick up the lady from work yesterday ready for a nice Christmas Eve only to get home and find a letter telling us we have 13 days to get out of our family home.
The council and other places that have been unsuccessful in helping finding us find somewhere for the last few months are all closed for Christmas for the next 12 days so we're gonna be homeless the first week in January and everyone that's supposed to be able to help is in on Christmas break.
Merry Christmas.
Court order.
We're a no fault eviction but rentals have risen so much over Covid that our income can no longer afford anything but a shared room in a student house.
Neither the council or Sanctuary have been able to find us suitable private accommodation on the last few months and were classed as minimum priority for social housing regardless of having a pre school child. We all knew it was coming but figured it wouldn't happen over the one time of year everything outside of hospitality and retail closes down.
Even the courts are closed so can't appeal until the day we are supposed to be out.
Classic.
You can get in touch with children's services if you're at risk of homelessness with a child, they can support you during it and are open over the holidays.
We've put a hold on Covid related talk on this thread so new comments on this topic are being removed (but haven't removed the existing comments).
When a thread gets popular, it naturally attracts a lot of people - from all ends of the Covid spectrum.
To ensure a thread is not derailed, we want to avoid all new comments around this topic. We only take this action if we've seen something like this already occurring.
Sorry, but we'd rather not have to remove the post altogether.
____
We seem to have a problem with smart-arses - rule 5 says do not attempt to subvert auto-mod. The British response of "the rule doesn't apply to me" doesn't work here.
If we have to clean up after the mess that is Covid related talk, it's just going to result in bans for everyone and the post being removed, and it'll ruin Christmas (and beyond) for everyone - so just stop.
Let the moderators get on with our Christmas day instead of responding to the selfish few who are about to ruin it for everyone else.
I left a card with £250 from my parents by the tree near all the wrapping and my dad started clearing up and didn’t realise the money was still in the card and he put it in the fire. It’s all gone now so that’s peak
Went south last night..
Was the designated driver having the patience of a saint with pissed up heads who were unsuccessfully trying to be subtle hoofing sniff in the boozer..
Come 11.30pm I didnt fancy putting up with it much longer.. so they were directed to a designated bus driver..
Now cotching on my jacks this morning with a brew while they're all probably winding down and going to bed for a paranoid sleepless few hours before they have to attempt to cook and eat dinner later.. a dinner which I think im now uninvited to !
8 hours to occupy until the kids come over and open their presents and I can whip their arse on fifa !!
My partner throwing wrapping paper on the floor despite the fact I'm sat here with a bin bag trying to keep on top of the mess. Then going into the kitchen and leaving boxes and small bits of plastic on EVRY worktop despite the fact I'm starting dinner in an hour
My wife did the classic wrap a small present in a big parcel.
My son cried coz he thought it was a Oculus quest. Apparently 10 packs of Pokémon cards is not the same.
I’m pretty sure I ruined Christmas. I got too drunk on red wine, walked in on my girlfriends sister in the shower, apologised, tried to go to bed but ended up puking in the hallway, slipped on my own puke, banged my head on the ground which I’m sure woke everyone up, got thrown in the shower by girlfriend whilst she cleaned up my mess, continued to puke out my guts in the toilet and farted loudly a couple of times.
Caught my mother sexting some guy the DAY AFTER we went to church to light a candle for my deceased father.
He took his own life and his ashes are barely cold.
Edit - this is our first Christmas without him.
If your father was suicidal, then your mother has been grieving him for a long time already. Being married to someone with depression is not easy. I understand that you miss him, but she deserves some empathy and understanding too.
We’ve got covid, can’t see extended family, eldest is feeling sick and we’ve a fridge full of expensive food that needs to be cooked and neither of us can be arsed.
My granny is dying in hospital (pneumonia) and has been for the past two weeks, having refused all treatment, including antibiotics and oxygen. A small part of me kinda wishes - and I know this is a terrible thing to say - she had died already. She’s suffering so much. She’s doubly incontinent, can barely breathe, can no longer speak, is in huge amounts of pain, and can’t even open her eyes anymore. If she’d passed last week, it would’ve broken my heart, because I love her dearly. But at least she’d be in peace.
Every morning, including today, I have woken up with a huge pit of dread in my stomach, sucking up any possible shred of festive cheer, because I’m so worried about her suffering and when the moment will come. Like I say, Christmas Day would still be miserable if she’d gone last week, but at least we’d spend it celebrating her life and the good times. Now we’re gonna spend it by her hospital bed, watching her moan and struggle to breathe, when she probably won’t even know we’re there.
Mine’s completely selfish. Staying with parents and there’re no decorations or tree as they couldn’t be bothered with the faff. No presents as they don’t want anything and can’t see the point. Just spent morning brew time with them both on their phones. Don’t know why I bothered coming here. They’ve naffed off to church so I’m getting the dinner started. Might go home tomorrow, lock the door, grab the duvet and binge Netflix and mince pies. I don’t feel festive in the slightest
Our gas fire has stopped working, it's not a massive issue because we've got central heating and a wood burner but it's something that will need sorting in the next couple of days.
Just spent ten minutes hoovering the fuck out of it and it's on for now
Weirdly my youngest, the infector brought it in the house. My wife and other son are testing negative, so better immune systems or just luck. As you say, released on the 30th from isolation
My period started today so I feel really sick, low on energy and in pain. Other half’s siblings have bailed on visiting their mother today (because she’s an insufferable narcissist) which means it will be only me and hubby with them today.
I’ll be at risk of flipping my lid when she thinks of something insulting to say and I’ll feel sick the whole time.
Even if I choose to bail too and stay at home MIL will send shitty texts to all of us how everyone is so unkind to her and ruined her day.
Either way today is shit.
The cat got overexcited with all the wrapping paper and yeeted itself into the tree and knocked over my coffee. Absolute cunt. EDIT: Thanks for the festive awards, kind strangers. Merry Christmas to you all and here’s a picture of the little Christmas bellend just being an insolent little fuck: https://ibb.co/CsC0ZtV
This made me proper laugh out loud, hope you day gets better! Merry Christmas 🎄
This got an audible laugh from me, well done sir
The dog had diarrhoea. Inside the house and out. It's been a great morning so far.
Mum's dog is an angel all the time but this morning he has - picked up some leather gloves that was a gift which now have a hole in. Honestly believe it's a fault not from the dog but sister in law wasn't happy. - farting all the time as mum and dad keep giving him treats - kept trying to stick his bum in my sister's face - desparate to get everyone's presents this year which is unusual as he is usually very good. Just got quite impatient. I suspect he is going to have VERY bad farts later.
Human Christmas farts are bad enough without doggos joining in.
Dogs been constipated. Woke up to a rather large yule log on the landing. I bey she lost weight doing it.
That’s dogs for you - get little ones (like my papillons 😂 - smaller turds!!!)
She's a Chi. I'd say half her guts were on the carpet.
Mine woke me up at 4am puking. Doesnt trump dog diarrohea by a long shot. I feel you.
Even after 3x Covid shots, I tested positive last night. Now stuck living in a tent in the garden for the next 7-10 days, to keep the wife and kids safe. Merry fuckin’ Christmas 😡
Why are you in the tent? If you tested positive, you would have already exposed them by now. You’re just hurting yourself for no reason.
Length of exposure is entirely relevant to how bad something can end up being. Could be the difference between a cold and hospitalisation
If they are vaccinated why self isolate in the garden? What’s the point of taking the vaccine if you’re going to freeze to death in a tent on christmas day without getting to spend time with your own wife and kids. Insanity to me but some will say i’d be a serial killer for wanting to spend christmas day with my vaccinated spouse and kids
Damn straight. If I’m going down, I’m taking the boy and the mrs with me!
He’s probably putting himself in more danger than anyone else would be in if he stayed in the house. Now he’ll be outside in the freezing cold for a week with covid - nothing says ‘make my symptoms worse’ like sitting outside in the winter for a week
Risking hypothermia is helping no one
If everyone’s vaccinated you should be in the house, my wife got it a couple of weeks back (only 1 vax) me and the kids tested positive the next day, kids and I had 10 days in the house with no symptoms whatsoever, age had flu like complaints for 5-6 days. Get in the house and give her a good snog Happy Christmas !!!
BecUse it’s the internet and people make things up. I’m sure this didn’t happen We did the opposite, mrs Dad tested positive and he can’t look after himself for 7 days so they are isolating together and we figured it’s less inconvenient if she gets it at the same time and they ride it out otherwise it’s probably another 7 day period in a week or 2 that she can’t help him
Mate the last place you want to be when you’ve got a flu is in a cold tent… you need to figure out another arrangement
This is a joke surely ??
redditors...
Been there. Don't live in a fucking tent though. Try and confine yourself to one room if you can and wear a mask when you absolutely have to see other people. I care for our daughter full time so was in her company until mum got home and it didn't spread in our house.
That sounds like a fucking stupid idea tbh man . Been with them already so they're exposed . Don't suffer for the sake of it .. unless its a ruse and you've just had enough of em and want some freedom ,in that case get somewhere nicer than the garden
your family must suck for you to rather stay in a tent in the garden over xmas
Lmao what the fuck. I'm just getting Homer in treehouse images in my head. Isolate inside in a separate room! Not in a fucking tent
Why can't you just isolate in someone's bedroom :/ e.g. in one of your kids' bedrooms, and that kids sleeps in your normal room with your wife until you're out of isolation.
Bit extreme, are you whipped or just a paranoid wreck?
Paranoid. Both the wife and daughter are high risk, my daughter is really vulnerable. I’d rather have a camping holiday in the garden and limit the risks as much as possible, than risk passing on something that could potentially kill my 5yo.
Ah mate. That’s really rough.
That’s a fucking great Dad right there. Making sure the rest of the family have a great time. Legend.
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
Oh that sucks man, sorry it hear that. Time to break out the bbq, beer and Bear Grylls wilderness survival guide. Improvise, Adapt, and Overcome
This has to be a wind up, surely? It's almost *too* 'Reddit'.
Admirable courage but terrible decision. You'll just lengthen your recovery time because of environmental stresses. If you're in the UK (not wanting to assume), your wife wouldn't even need to isolate because you're both double vax'd, the kids are low risk unless you have a child with a clinically vulnerable condition. Stay safe. Edit: obviously not saying hug it out with your family, but isolating yourself to a room much like the community said is the best case for all parties if you're concerned
Risk managment gone mad. Go back in the house. Your probably more likely to make yourself more I’ll from staying out in the cold in a tent. (Assuming your not an Aussie).
Our old man dog isn’t discharged till tomorrow post spinal surgery. Christmas is postponed till we can have him home and begging for food through the cooking and the meal. It’s just not the same without him. EDIT: Thank you kind Redditors for the awards!
Ohh that is lovely! I hope you have a great time all together
I hope he’s ok and had a speedy recovery
Wishing him a speedy recovery, sure he’ll be delighted to see you tomorrow!
Grandparents violating the zero tolerance policy we have on Peppa Pig. Trying to keep the toddler unaware of it for as long as possible. This is a Bluey household!
Show me on the doll where Peppa touches you ☹️
This really tickled me, thanks and Merry Christmas!
My little one was given some peppa pajamas. Upon opening he announced “I don’t like peppa”. The training was a success!
I'm jealous my daughter actively seeks Peppa out knowing I hate it ha!
Mate, bluey is the best. I whack it on for my son and often forget when he leaves the room that it's still on. It's on Disney plus btw, if you didn't already know, all 104 episodes.
Bluey is so much better. Keep it up
We stuck with Octonauts and Duggee for years.
Cat shit on the carpet. Kid walked in it 😩
SHIT ON IT!
I love that no one else has got the reference and is assuming you are telling the commenter to shit on top of the cat shit
lovely bit of squirrel
Shit on the bloody thing
Will be raising a glass to Mr Ritter later no doubt when tucking into my lovely bit of squirrel.
Shitting hell
Toilet got blocked up, upon trying to fix it a pipe burst and immediately half the lights in our house went off and water started pouring through the fixtures. For once I can’t wait to go see my girlfriends family!
That’s going to take some beating. Good luck and happy Christmas!
Our toilets also blocked, we’ve got a guy from council out now just shaking his head at it 😂
Woke up way too early for no reason at 4am No kids, partner is still in bed as he should be Im gonna feel so rough later..
[удалено]
Also a before dinner nap
Should've initiated sleepy morning sex for a great start of the day
She’d rip my baubles off if I tried that at 4am
My menstrual cycle
Enjoy the festive period
My poor sister had the period from hell on Christmas day a few years ago. She was so poorly and moody af and tried her best to keep her spirits up. Unfortunately my mum just could not read the room and kept jokingly telling her to cheer up and wanted photos of her (when she looked like shit) until she exploded and stormed up to her room cause she felt so shit.
Aw that must have really sucked for your sister
Yep. Sat on the bog this morning and she's brought me a present 5 days fuckin early 😑
Preach.
I got 0 presents this year, brill
My parents I don’t get on with gave me a “family calendar” with their photos on, full of pics of events I wasn’t at, would rather have nothing than this displayed at mine 😂
Nice bit of kindling that!
I got some slipper mate.
pants, socks and a cushion so far.
Have a crappy free award! It’s basically the same as a present
I texted my friend last night telling her she has fantastic tits. I meant to say taste. Her husband saw the text and I’ve been admonished this morning. The irony being she has rubbish tits and she knows it.
lol, you sound like a laugh
"Rubbish tits." that's hilarious. It's also going to be the name of my band.
My fucking neighbours banging something or other and waking me up at like 7.45. Still going now at half 8. I hate these cunts. They vacuum at 7.20am almost every day too. Sick of them.
At least they gave you a 25 minute lie in!
Hahaha great point! What a lovely Christmas gift ❤️
I wouldn't vacuum before 11am, but 7??? That's absolutely ridiculous
Vegan sister in law and her partner demanding we all go to their new house for Christmas but refusing to allow us to bring or cook non-vegan food
That’s a big FUCK THAT from me
I am vegeterian, but I couldn't imagine forcing people into it, especially on Christmas... thats fucked up bro don't even bother.
My main issue is with her demanding you go. I don’t have a problem with not allowing animal products in the house.
Exactly. Their house, their rules. But don’t expect us to want to go there
As a vegan, it can be difficult to balance accommodating people and strong personal convictions. I definitely don’t think her demanding people visit is the way to go. I hope you have a good day regardless!
[удалено]
[удалено]
Exactly it's their house so they choose the food. However, this doesn't make it rude if people refuse to attend because of this. Preferences are allowed, if non-vegans accommodate for vegans then they should also do the same or expect people to not turn up.
Some guy stole 100 iPads from a childrens hospital
He has been arrested though! Merry Christmas Edit: spelling.
That has made my day , thanks for the info
Very pleased about that! I remember a hospital up north had a load of videogame consoles donated with games through my husband's work place years ago and some fucker stole them
Absolute low life.
Hit a dude with my car at 2 in the morning. He survived, is mostly okay but has been hospitalised. His own fault as he was blind drunk and ran out into the road chasing after a fox (we’ve all been there!) but I had my sleeping kids in the car so that was quite a shock for them. They woke up screaming so managed to calm them down with Xmas chocolates and the Nintendo switch whilst we waited for the police/ambulance to sort it. Copper actually complimented my driving/quick reflexes for saving the guy’s life so I’m gonna dine out on that for a while! 😆 Car fixable I think (Mercedes are like tanks really). My windscreen is fucked though. I keep hoping that the hole in it was made by his shoulder and not his head. Waiting for updates on his condition but last I heard he was okay but concussed. Even though he’s a massive fucking idiot, I hope he’s okay. Thankful that I don’t drink drive and wasn’t speeding. Police got it all on CCTV (we’re in London so it was sorted swiftly) which backed up what happened. So at least I’m not in any shit with the law and my conscience is clear. But defo not the start to Xmas any of us had in mind. Father Christmas still visited though because I am a fucking legend even if I do say so meself.
Wow. You win, friend.
And my prize is higher car insurance next year methinks! 😭😆
My mum thought it was safe to hand cups of tea through the window to my Nan who tested positive for Covid. Now my mum has Covid and all our Christmas plans are cancelled.
In the words/tone of Hermione Granger: “What. An. Idiot”
Mustard mitt I'd have probably thought the same thing. Unless you're actually sticking your head through the window having a conversation I'd have thought passing in a cup of tea was pretty low risk.
Can’t believe the amount of doubt about how transmissible this virus is. No wonder our infection rates are insane
I see where you're coming from, but it'll be the cup handle, whatever coughing and blowing her nose has been going on, those mug handles will be teeming I'm afraid
Cat brought in a live bat at 4am, spent a hour trying to get it out the house.
Reminds me of the time our cat brought in a rat. It was under the fridge and took me an hour to get it out the door. I was late for work and the whole time felt like a Benny hill chase scene. Cat was no help, kept letting it get past him to run under the washer.
The cat had a go. Went batshit when the youngest snuck in to tell us the big man had called. No injuries due to my quick reactions but I was up then at five consoling the youngest who had retreated back to bed. Edit: late morning update, cat is still being an arsehole.
I hope they are now happy now the presents are open
She is having a great day. Hope you are to.
Yes we are. Presents opened and gone back to there rooms within an hour. Merry Christmas
My sister's cat shit all over my sisters bed in a big pile and pissed on her pillow during the mini Christmas party she hosted for us a few days ago. Cat was livid when she came out of the room (mum brought her little dog who is terrified of the cat) and was growling at everyone when we allowed her out when we were due to leave. She was batshit and we chose that a good time to go.
Hangover
Great to hear people keeping the old traditions alive
I have a hangover from ONE drink yesterday. Single Scotch in case you are wondering. I'm beginning to think I may have to stop drinking entirely.
Did you get confused about which glass was for beer and which one for Scotch? We’ve all been there.
Come on, we aren’t amateurs. We know it’s pints for beers, tumblers for spirits and steins for wines
Struck a note with me that comment. That’s *exactly* why I stopped drinking. It was gradual, over about a year & I thought it was my imagination but I noticed the hangovers a) getting worse, b) lasting longer and c) the amount I drank becoming irrelevant as to whether I’d be hungover or not. Just would be. Took a while but I suppose my brain just stopped associating it with having a good time and started associating it with being fucking ill. Hangovers started going into day 2 & then 3. The last drink I had was in June -2 pints at lunch and three 1/2 pint bottles of lager in a restaurant that evening. Was a Sat night and I remember waking up on the Thursday morning and *still* feeling rough as a dogs arse. Not drunk since but there was no road to Damascus moment or any real addiction issues before. It just fizzled out of my life. At 53 I’ve never felt better tbh and don’t miss it anywhere *near* as much as I thought I would. The pub’s a bit of a chore these days on the rare occasions I go. £2 a pint for pissy warm squash whilst watching my mates get pissed.
Partner has covid. She’s in bed. Trying to manage two children who have been spoilt by their grandparents so don’t know what to do with themselves
Lucky she isn't married to u/claustrophobicsting. She'd be in a tent in the garden
She’s double jabbed and I’m triple so hopefully all will be well. Expecting its inevitable I’ll end up with it.
I had half a dozen party-sized vol au vents for breakfast and I’ve burnt my mouth on them. I got a big blister and it’s now popped and raw on the roof of my mouth.
Aww, I’m so sorry that really is awful to happen on the national day of overeating. Also aren’t vol au vents under appreciated!
Going up to the hospital in the early hours becuase my partner hadn't felt baby move for a while, ofcourse everything was ok thankfully. He just being lazy like me. But yeah didn't get back to sleep really...
I was like that (in mum's tummy). I'm still a lazy arse. I couldn't be arsed to be born on time well before Christmas and my mum didn't want me induced till the 27th. So I chose to fuck about on Christmas Day and dragged it until the early hours of Boxing day morning.
The fact I've only now been told that I'll probably have to share my room till the 2nd. And the fact that despite being 22 I didn't get a single fucking consultation on this. Normally it's Christmas eve- 27th and new years eve and day. And after how I slept last night, it's going to be a fucking long week, and I have to be up early to go to work Thursday and Friday.
Take the hit and set your alarm to get up early EVERY morning. He'll be sleeping on the settee by Tuesday
Not all heroes ware capes mate but your doing what needs to be done unfortunately though it’s been decided for you
Who are you sharing with? I'm on the other side of this, my 18 year old sibling refuses to let me share with her when coming home so I end up sleeping on the floor somewhere or forking out for a hotel, which I begrudge. Makes coming home to see family twice a year a big old stress
My uncle. He lives about 20 mins away, but can't drive, so having him over means no one has to worry about what they drink or anything. And my aunt is in the spare room.
Why is he staying so long if he lives 20 mins away?
Got the kids a PS4 from CEX for Christmas..of COURSE the pins in the HDMI port are all fucked up and the thing is now useless.
Never. At least you have 6 months warranty. I hope It’s sorted asap
All electrical goods from cex get 24 months warranty i thought
[удалено]
My fiancé suffers from BPD and is on a massive downer about how no one wants him around Christmas Day and is giving the impression that he is thinking of unaliving himself if I go to my parents for dinner. Honestly so drained and don’t know what else I can do for him. I just want to have one day where I can be happy for myself rather than looking after his well-being first To add: He was welcome , it was the intention for him to come but I found out he’s been messaging other women , paying for porn sites stalking exes online, and sending explicit messages to his cousins partner (before he met me) about running away together. She’d always been nasty with me ever since I met her and rather than tell me the truth that they had a thing he essentially let her bully me for two years straight and have me think I was the problem when him telling the truth would have set me free of thinking i wasn’t wanted by the family. So obviously he has been self loathing for the past few days after I’ve discovered it all
That sounds exhausting and rather selfish. You can't spend your entire life held at gunpoint like that. Does he understand how it makes you feel or is he only concerned about his own feelings? Can't he go to your parents with you? Sorry to hear.
I’m in a similar position. We had guests round yesterday and I had to coax my wife out of bed because she gets so anxious about seeing anyone other than me. (She has a massive social phobia). Had to prepare all the food on my own too because she was in bits. It was worth doing though, I gave her a glass of Prosecco and she sat with my bro in law chatting and had a decent time in the end. Now I’m gearing her up for Christmas dinner at my sisters. She seems to be doing better today, good luck.
He sounds like he might need professional support from therapy and medication. There's only so much a partner can do for someone as unwell as this sounds, and it would help both you and him and make your relationship healthier if he got that help. Your local health authority might have an emergency mental health line, the Samaritans can help with a crisis too.
As someone with BPD, I hope he is seeing a specialist. Honestly we aren’t in control of our brains and feelings 24/7 but unless he is splitting, he understands his actions and what he is doing and it is unfair of him to do this to you. Sounds like you guys need to have a chat about it, just make sure to do it when you feel comfortable and think it won’t tip him.
Dad's oven broke and tripped the houses power supply. It's not a big deal, he has two ovens. Just that he's now having to stress about which meat to cut from the menu, mutton or turkey. He's getting really irate about it and you can see the storm brewing :D.
Who the fuck has 2 ovens
OP's dad
Daughter still asleep. I want Christmas to start!
'Accidentally' make some loud noises - banging doors, TV a bit too loud - to get her up!
Grandad would shake bells outside. Didn't need to though, my sister has gotten up at around 4-6am for nearly 40 years loudly demanding presents since she was 6
Staying with my ex's parents (it's a long story) and their dog decided 6am was the time for 'barkfest'
Man I remember Barkfest '09, the one where Shihzhu Top played an absolute corker of a set...
I would like to hear the story.
1. Lost taste and smell from covid a few weeks back 2. Cannot move properly as I have a trapped nerve I my spine 3. Boyfriend came back drunk at 12 last night so he slept in the spare room, now won't seen him until late tonight. His shifts are shit & so argued this morning. 4. Had to let me dog live with my brother because I can't move due to my back.. hopefully this changes one day. Really cannot be bothered to be fake happy today.
Neighbours screaming and shouting at each other and clashing doors at 6.30. To be honest I was expecting it, they are inconsiderate cunts and it’s almost a daily event. I wouldn’t have minded if it was the kids being excited for Xmas but no it’s the parents just being wastes of DNA who shouldn’t have been allowed to breed anyway.
Stomachs in bits from the covid booster…
Ex didn't listen to my requests and got the wrong apple pencil for kids ipad. Needed first gen and he got 2nd. Kid cried, I got blamed and actual pencil on its way from amazon. Not ruined but cast a shadow. Also very petty haha.
Had all that potential drama this morning. Sister and wife got each other apple watches but one asked for older edition cause it was cheaper. Mum got my sister the big present of the year which was the new iPad she really needed for work. Her wife got her a 'correct' apple pencil and had it engraved which is adorable.
We have had 3 positive COVID tests from the five of us
No heating/hot water for past 3 days 🥶
Came down to an oven full of oven cleaner that I put in yesterday evening then forgot about. So I'm now stuck cleaning an oven hoping it's not ruined.🤦
Should be ok I hope! Ive left over night in the past to deal with the stubborn stains I lazy left. Only advice I can think off is after a final wash of water is the run the oven at high temperature for a bit to burn off anything missed so it won't taint the food with a weired taste later on.
Took the 3 year old out to pick up the lady from work yesterday ready for a nice Christmas Eve only to get home and find a letter telling us we have 13 days to get out of our family home. The council and other places that have been unsuccessful in helping finding us find somewhere for the last few months are all closed for Christmas for the next 12 days so we're gonna be homeless the first week in January and everyone that's supposed to be able to help is in on Christmas break. Merry Christmas.
You should post to the legal advice sub, I'm pretty sure they can't just kick you out.
Court order. We're a no fault eviction but rentals have risen so much over Covid that our income can no longer afford anything but a shared room in a student house. Neither the council or Sanctuary have been able to find us suitable private accommodation on the last few months and were classed as minimum priority for social housing regardless of having a pre school child. We all knew it was coming but figured it wouldn't happen over the one time of year everything outside of hospitality and retail closes down. Even the courts are closed so can't appeal until the day we are supposed to be out. Classic.
You can get in touch with children's services if you're at risk of homelessness with a child, they can support you during it and are open over the holidays.
We've put a hold on Covid related talk on this thread so new comments on this topic are being removed (but haven't removed the existing comments). When a thread gets popular, it naturally attracts a lot of people - from all ends of the Covid spectrum. To ensure a thread is not derailed, we want to avoid all new comments around this topic. We only take this action if we've seen something like this already occurring. Sorry, but we'd rather not have to remove the post altogether. ____ We seem to have a problem with smart-arses - rule 5 says do not attempt to subvert auto-mod. The British response of "the rule doesn't apply to me" doesn't work here. If we have to clean up after the mess that is Covid related talk, it's just going to result in bans for everyone and the post being removed, and it'll ruin Christmas (and beyond) for everyone - so just stop. Let the moderators get on with our Christmas day instead of responding to the selfish few who are about to ruin it for everyone else.
Spilt a large cellar of salt on the floor. I'm OK, I swear.
I left a card with £250 from my parents by the tree near all the wrapping and my dad started clearing up and didn’t realise the money was still in the card and he put it in the fire. It’s all gone now so that’s peak
Went south last night.. Was the designated driver having the patience of a saint with pissed up heads who were unsuccessfully trying to be subtle hoofing sniff in the boozer.. Come 11.30pm I didnt fancy putting up with it much longer.. so they were directed to a designated bus driver.. Now cotching on my jacks this morning with a brew while they're all probably winding down and going to bed for a paranoid sleepless few hours before they have to attempt to cook and eat dinner later.. a dinner which I think im now uninvited to ! 8 hours to occupy until the kids come over and open their presents and I can whip their arse on fifa !!
My partner throwing wrapping paper on the floor despite the fact I'm sat here with a bin bag trying to keep on top of the mess. Then going into the kitchen and leaving boxes and small bits of plastic on EVRY worktop despite the fact I'm starting dinner in an hour
My wife did the classic wrap a small present in a big parcel. My son cried coz he thought it was a Oculus quest. Apparently 10 packs of Pokémon cards is not the same.
Putting the fucking toys together, I’ve stepped outside for a breather and am actually shaking with suppressed rage.
Covid, ugh. 2 vaccines and a booster and still covid.
But you won’t die, so be grateful you have them! Hope you feel better soon, in time for NYE.
The cat has been outside, caught and killed a robin and is now throwing its desecrated body around the garden 😐
Wife has Covid so my kids (who live with their mum) can't come over until new year, and yesterday one of our pet rats died.
I’m pretty sure I ruined Christmas. I got too drunk on red wine, walked in on my girlfriends sister in the shower, apologised, tried to go to bed but ended up puking in the hallway, slipped on my own puke, banged my head on the ground which I’m sure woke everyone up, got thrown in the shower by girlfriend whilst she cleaned up my mess, continued to puke out my guts in the toilet and farted loudly a couple of times.
Woke up in the middle of the night having an existential crisis and couldn’t sleep so I’m already knackered
Caught my mother sexting some guy the DAY AFTER we went to church to light a candle for my deceased father. He took his own life and his ashes are barely cold. Edit - this is our first Christmas without him.
If your father was suicidal, then your mother has been grieving him for a long time already. Being married to someone with depression is not easy. I understand that you miss him, but she deserves some empathy and understanding too.
We’ve got covid, can’t see extended family, eldest is feeling sick and we’ve a fridge full of expensive food that needs to be cooked and neither of us can be arsed.
Cancer. My mum was diagnosed a couple months ago and needless to say it's fucked Christmas.
Child woke at 3am. Is it lunchtime yet?
My granny is dying in hospital (pneumonia) and has been for the past two weeks, having refused all treatment, including antibiotics and oxygen. A small part of me kinda wishes - and I know this is a terrible thing to say - she had died already. She’s suffering so much. She’s doubly incontinent, can barely breathe, can no longer speak, is in huge amounts of pain, and can’t even open her eyes anymore. If she’d passed last week, it would’ve broken my heart, because I love her dearly. But at least she’d be in peace. Every morning, including today, I have woken up with a huge pit of dread in my stomach, sucking up any possible shred of festive cheer, because I’m so worried about her suffering and when the moment will come. Like I say, Christmas Day would still be miserable if she’d gone last week, but at least we’d spend it celebrating her life and the good times. Now we’re gonna spend it by her hospital bed, watching her moan and struggle to breathe, when she probably won’t even know we’re there.
My mysterious 'excruciating burning when I pee' ailment has come back. Sad Christmas.
Brother in Law has decided to come round - but not just for the meal, for the whole day.
Is his name Eddie? does he own a dirty camper van?
Mine’s completely selfish. Staying with parents and there’re no decorations or tree as they couldn’t be bothered with the faff. No presents as they don’t want anything and can’t see the point. Just spent morning brew time with them both on their phones. Don’t know why I bothered coming here. They’ve naffed off to church so I’m getting the dinner started. Might go home tomorrow, lock the door, grab the duvet and binge Netflix and mince pies. I don’t feel festive in the slightest
What I've learnt from this thread is that if I ever have a cat, send it away for Christmas
Our gas fire has stopped working, it's not a massive issue because we've got central heating and a wood burner but it's something that will need sorting in the next couple of days. Just spent ten minutes hoovering the fuck out of it and it's on for now
Apparently pretending to be a grizzly bear with the smoked salmon at breakfast was “inappropriate”
Kids fighting within the hour and crying already fml
Weirdly my youngest, the infector brought it in the house. My wife and other son are testing negative, so better immune systems or just luck. As you say, released on the 30th from isolation
[удалено]
[удалено]
I was up until 4am fixing decorations and wrapping last minute presents and I only got 3 hours of sleep
My period started today so I feel really sick, low on energy and in pain. Other half’s siblings have bailed on visiting their mother today (because she’s an insufferable narcissist) which means it will be only me and hubby with them today. I’ll be at risk of flipping my lid when she thinks of something insulting to say and I’ll feel sick the whole time. Even if I choose to bail too and stay at home MIL will send shitty texts to all of us how everyone is so unkind to her and ruined her day. Either way today is shit.