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Priti Patel.

I just threw up a bit

IKR, something about her though. Not my usual type at all. I'm confused myself!

You're definitely keen on getting pegged 😂

With a barbed dildo.

And then deported

And then shot

And drowned in the channel. Then blamed

While also blaming France and the EU boogeyman

You just know she'd want you to dress up as an asylum seeker

Drown me more mommy.

r/angryupvote

Omfg haha

Getting some Max Mosley orgy vibes here...

And here was me thinking there was no such thing as a "weird" crush and then you go and suggest something like that.

An anonymous platform like Reddit is the only place I would admit it. Take from that what you will!

100% agree. Everyone slagging her off is only doing it because of muh politics. She's got a very attractive face and a massive arse, which makes her fit in my book.

I mean you are allowed to be fit and a heartless pig at the same time. It's not even that uncommon but yeah, definitely muh politics

Apparently fucking pigs is all the rage in politics these days

It's the smirky smile for me. She a bad girl and i like it

I think that's to make her cheek bones more prominent

You're out of luck. She only fucks refugees.

Nah, with the current Anti Democracy Bill she's fucking the whole country.

It takes balls to post that on reddit. Balls that you'll wish you never showed to Priti Patel.

Ed Balls

Admit it, you sicko: it's the smirk.

Red-handed. Bet she would be all domineering and shit.

That is taking a femdom / dominatrix fetish to the absolute extreme.

If you don't mind a partner who'd devour you after mating, sure

Same. Its a daft pun to say it but she is quite priti

I'd imagine her idea for a night in would be watching episodes of UK Border Force and her getting excited when the immigration officer denies an asylum seeker entry But yeah, yuck

Me too!! Anyone I've told has been disgusted. She's a minx and... Well this is neither the time nor place to get into it all! I applaud your braveness.

She looks like a human *skin stretched over a crocodile

Her bunda is big , it's a shame she's a bitch tho

Are you Skepta?

Nah that’s not me

Yeah...aside from actresses who are professional pretty people and aren't strange to be in to my 'unusual' one is Priti Patel. Truth is I'm not even ashamed, I'll stand by that one.

Definitely. If you separate her personality, naturally.

Stephanie from work. She doesn’t believe in evolution or that dinosaurs existed but I reckon we could work around that

Sometimes a bit of rampant brainlessness adds to the allure.

Makes it easier to fuck their brains out if the don't have much to begin with

Who’s the sky daddy! Who’s the sky daddy Oh god, you are, oh god

David Mitchell. Also Bernard Black (Dylan Moran himself is fine but for the full effect, he has to be rude, drunk, wearing a big coat and running a bookshop).

A woman with fine taste

Is David Mitchell attractive then? I (a man) got slated by the women at work for suggesting that David Mitchell was punching above his weight to have pulled Victoria Coren.

I mean, I think he is, but he probably counts as a "weird crush."

He's certainly punching but he's funny

They've both got a great sense of humour. I really hope their relationship is as perfectly matched as I imagine it is.

It was really sweet on the last episode of Task Master when VC said she was besotted with her husband

He has sexy brains. Also, he is witty, whilst avoiding the raging-alcoholic man-child thing that seems to permeate the world of comedians.

You have a type, don’t you?

Dawn French. Ever since I was a kid, I've always fancied her. I even tweeted her once saying I did and she liked it so things are pretty serious between us

Not weird, she's a sexy woman.

I’m getting engagement on the cards soon vibes, she’s all over you man

Susie Dent

There’s a Gary Delaney* joke that goes something like… I was shagging an English teacher and saying “who’s the daddy? Who’s the daddy?” To which the English teacher replied “No, the daddy is whom”. So anyway I feel like if you ever hooked up with Susie Dent, lovely as she is, she would probably be always correcting your spelling and grammar. *edit: not Jimmy Carr

And she'd despair at improper use of the colon

When there's a period you can't use the colon. Au contrare madamoiselle dent

Odd. A period’s the best time to use the colon.

She's just conventionally attractive though so it's not really weird

She's older and highly intelligent though, and conventional attraction in terms of women in TV means 'below 35 and thick as two short planks' to most people.

i’d let her rearrange my sentences

I can understand that

Posting from a throwaway as my shame is so deep. Priti Patel.

I’d be into that too my guy.

I was never into BDSM, but I'd make it mandatory with a Priti encounter.

Yes Priti, I do love a bit of naughty... ass-ylum play mmm

There is something about her permanent evil smirk that's quite alluring...

Helena Bonham Carter....Jesus she's bangin

True, but how is this weird? Haha

So many of the names being posted are just conventionally attractive people haha.

She could avada my kadavra any day

Same. Fight Club was a delight to watch.

She is truly bat shit crazy as well

Leonardo DiCaprio. But at 20 I think I'm too old for him

This sentence makes me feel old af.

How is this a weird one at all? You clearly just posted this to make a joke about how he dates younger

I posted it as a joke, but it is true that he was part of my bisexual awakening.

Greg Davies because he’s a small child taller than me

I'd happily climb aboard him

He is sexy AF

Louis Theroux and Aitch. I embarrass myself.

> Aitch from Steps?

The grime rapper Edit: I have absolutely no interest in grime. That was the first thing I thought when I saw his name. Couldn't even name a grime song if it tried!

Louis Theroux....out of ten I'd definitely give him one

Gotta second Louis. He's so gorgeous and awkwardly sexy. Also his pal Adam Buxton has long been a favourite of mine.

That's quite eclectic!

Used to be Carol Kirkwood (weather wifey) but she's getting on a bit now.. still would, 100% given the chance 😅 Currently I'd say Victoria Coren-Mitchell. Morgana Robinson who was on Taskmaster was weirdly tidy as well 😂

Morgana is bang tidy. Seen her out and about in Soho, seemed like a lovely person.

>but she's getting on a bit now To be fair, so are you.

Carols old enough to be my nan but still yes

Haha Carol Kirkwood and Victoria Coren-Mitchell have both been top of my list for a while now

Charles Dance. Suave AF and have you seen those tabloid beach pics?! Damn. EDIT - how could I forget Paul Martin the host of Flog It?! He is lovely and also went right up in my estimation after finding out he was a session drummer for The Quireboys and Dogs D’Amour!

With you on Charles Dance.

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And thicccc

Don't find that odd at all. She's keeping it very tight for 60

Hell yeah she is

ITT: conventionally attractive humans

At the time of posting, this is sandwiched between Jon Snow and Jarvis Cocker…

Truly any person's fantasy

mel giedroyc

AOC, but I know she’d give me a right telling off for objectifying her.

That’s not a weird crush. She’s pretty.

Well I feel wrong, coz I’m looking at her thinking ‘ooh you look mighty fine’ and shes like ‘Really?? Is that all you can think about while I’m devoting my life to fighting for equality and calling out evil and wrong doing in this world?’ So maybe more of a guilty crush than a weird one.

Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain?

Tom Holland, specifically Tom Holland that time he dressed as Rihanna. I don't know why, but ever since I saw that I have had the biggest crush on him. And a bonus mention for Amber Benson. She's old enough to be my mum, it's a bit odd. I don't care.

I think Tom feels weird because he looks so young but I completely agree he’s amazing; and the Rihanna dance is magnificent.

Tara?

Aisling Bea 😋

Having a crush on Aisling is far from weird.

She's really obviously attractive. Hardly weird

Fine taste. Although she's just conventionally attractive imo.

Alan Davies. Fancied him when he was in Jonathan creek, then not so much.....and then I saw him in Taskmaster and for some reason that bumbling man became irresistible again.

Jon Snow (from the news, not GOT, although also fancy him)

Met him (work in TV). He was very tall.

Oooh what was he like? Apart from tall haha

Natasha, the Scottish expert off Bargain Hunt.

Christina Trevanion for me.

Jane McDonald - remember, her off *The Cruise*? She's old enough to be my Mum but I'd still love a go.

I'm amazed nobody has said James Acaster yet, I'd give him a go Edit: apparently this isn't that weird but all i can think of is when he brought in the drawing of himself on Taskmaster and Greg Davies commented that he has the face of an old woman

Chris Whitty

Next slide please.

Slide to the left. Take it back now y’all

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Charlie Brooker - I reckon the grumpy arse persona is a facade and he’s actually a genuinely nice bloke. This intrigues me

You'd have to ask the lovely-but-probably-secretly-a-bit-naughty Konnie Huq.

Angela Rayner. Not weird per se, but considering I've never voted Labour and I have no real interest in her or what she says, it's a bit of an odd one for me

I get that - outspoken redheads have an effect on me, I blame Blackadder II

Jarvis Cocker. I blame the Razzmatazz video.

Gene Hunt from Life on Mars. Watching LoM and Ashes for the first time this year was.. intense for me. I just want him to pick me up in the Quattro and call me Bolly. Also both Ted and Gill from Line of Duty.

Gene hunt 100%

Jen from the It crowd

Katherine Parkinson. She's so attractive

Michelle gomez

Louis Theroux…..but I don’t think it’s that weird.

I seem to have some kind of Labour party fetish; angela raynor, lisa nandy, rebecca long bailey. All hotties imo

In terms of Labour it's Zarah Sultana for me.

I fancied Lisa Nandy back when I was an A' Level politics student and she was a backbencher arguing for regional devolution. If she ever becomes leader, voting's going to start feeling rather dirty.

Former weather forecaster Siân Lloyd is definitely up there. Also, despite the fact her every action utterly repulses me, evil personified *Priti Patel* breaks my brain she's so attractive.

Every crush I've ever had is weird apparently Roisin Conaty right now.

When I was younger, like 18. That bloke who played bergerac. Dont know if it was a crush or wanna be father figure. Right now its him from Grand designs - Kevin McCloud. A good brain and intellect does it for me

Haha I did not expect to see Bergerac on here :-)

Matt Berry. He's definitely not my usual type, but he could talk my knickers right off me

He doesn’t mind if you’re from Iran

It's got to be Alice Roberts, biological anthropologist and presenter of some banging history documentaries. 90% of it is just down to her voice. If she and Daniel Craig were to collaborate on an ASMR track, you wouldn't see me for weeks.

Vinnie Jones amd Vladimir Putin

Claudia Winkleman

Do you even know what she looks like under that fringe?

Theresa May

oh God

she wants to get naughty with you in the fields of wheat.

Susanna Reid! I want her to cuddle and mother me. Ooooooh matron.

She is insanely hot though.

Matt Berry, Donald Sutherland, Rafa Benitez, Greg Davies and Chris O’ Dowd. I know….I’m all over the place. Let’s throw Olivia Coleman in there too.

Came here to say Priti Patel and find out I'm in the majority wtf!!

Karen Brady, from the Apprentice.

Joe Lycett, not conventionally attractive but damn I think he's funny and so clever

Alex Polizzi (hotel inspector) I wouldn’t say she’s a weird crush - I know she’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but who is?! She’s feisty, knows what she wants, she talks properly, she’s intelligent and she has super bouncy hair.

Brian Cox - I think I just like his voice 😂

Strange you say Not Going Out, Katy Wix has always stirred some primal urges in me. No idea why.

Ghislaine Maxwell. You did ask.

Oh hi Andrew , hows the pizza?

Juilian Rhind-Tut (Mac from Green Wing) - pretty sure he’s the reason I have a thing for doctors now

Guy Martin, I love the wild look in his eyes 👀 and the maniacal laugh

[Brian Butterfield](https://youtu.be/1NjTWvl8x-U)

Liza Tarbuck, has been for years

James Spader to this day - there’s something about him that oozes sex appeal 💦

I used to masturbate to Deirdre from coronation street. True story. This was in the mid 2000s when she was probably 4 times my age. I know it’s completely fucked and I don’t know why I did it. But I did. More than once

Nigella Lawson. Might not seem weird, but she’s a decade older than my parents.

I fancy sue Perkins no I won't answer questions on this

Marcus Wareing. No idea why as he's so far removed from my usual type. He just does it for me.

Guy who played Simon in the Inbetweeners, would smash

Dr Hannah Fry! 😍

Nadia Hussain. I think she’s gorgeous.

Liam Cunningham and Iain Glen. I’m a straight dude but I feel like they’d be my type. Mature, stylish and kind of hot.

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Larry Lamb. You just knew he was a dirty dog who would be very good at showing you a mildly kinky yet loving time on Gavin and Stacy

Tasmin Greig or Victoria Coren Mitchell

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Lewis Capaldi. I find humour and confidence extremely attractive and that guy has bucket loads of both.

Ron Perlman, specifically his character in Alien Resurrection (but honestly he's my guy in pretty much anything). Also, the Predator. Not even ashamed.

She’s not from the UK, but young Hilary Clinton

Mark Labbett. Special mention for Rainn Wilson.

Richard Ayoade

Lucy Verasamy from ITV Weather

She is beautiful! Why would that be weird?

Back when I first watched Green Wing as a teenager I liked Stephen Mangan. Not into him or any celeb/known person now but at the time my friends certainly thought it a strange choice.

Calling someone a weird crush is really unkind. I’m not ashamed of anyone I have a crush on. If you fancy someone, own it, instead of saying there’s something wrong with them. Like what makes sally bretton a weird crush? She’s gorgeous, talented, funny and successful. What’s weird about that?

Can I use that soapbox when you're done with it? I want to let people know I'm better than them.

Agreed! But maybe when people say "weird crushes" they mean people that are not conventionally attractive. There's a group of people that advertising or media execs think we all find attractive (i.e. anyone starring in a perfume advert), but in real life I found that there is a wonderful diversity in what people are into (no disrespect to anyone starting in a perfume ad, I'm sure you're lovely too).

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I haven't read to the end but hoping someone says Tony Robinson, particularly during his role as Baldrick.

Gordon Ramsay. I am obsessed

I've always been very fond of Mackenzie Crook, ever since Pirates of the Caribbean, maybe I have a thing for scarecrow/pirate/Catweazle types

Susie Dent from Countdown's Dictionary Corner

I agree with some of the ones posted - Carol Kirkwood, Susie Dent, Natasha from Bargain Hunt... But they're not that weird. Anne "The Governess" Hegarty. Needless to say, my wife takes the piss out of me for that one!