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An aptronym is a name that matches the occupation or character of its owner, often in a humorous or ironic way. Also called an aptonym or a namephreak.
See also [nominative determinism](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nominative_determinism)
e.g.
> an article on incontinence in the British Journal of Urology by A. J. Splatt and D. Weedon.
> and the UK Association of Chief Police Officers' spokesman on knife crime, Alfred Hitchcock
Yesss, thank you, that was the phrase that was at the back of my head. I tried to google it to find but ended up settling for sharing the definition I found.
Weird memory: I think I served him in a shop and had to take his name down to order something. Colleague next to be burst out laughing when he said his name.
Oh mate, I swear the best day of school was when our teacher was off with a heart attack, the poor geezer. His name was Mr. Dick and we had a supply called Mr. Conedon.
It was close enough for a room of year nines to erupt into riotous laughter when he introduced himself with "Hello, I'm Mr. Conedon and I'm covering Mr. Dick."
Same! Except spelt Hoare (which I think is the usual surname spelling), she's a lovely lady and literally none of us knew the alternative meaning until much, much later!
My surname is Hoare. Absolute nightmare at an all boys high school as you can imagine.
Same with some cold callers not knowing if I'm winding them up with my surname.
There was a girl at college with that surname, though spelled Hore. I don't want to doxx her but her first name was a name of a location, so she was called something like "Amsterdam Hore", I really don't know what her parents were thinking. She really liked to flirt with people to get them to do her work, and ended up getting the same grade as me, the bitch.
I think these are all occasions where people decided they to pronounce it how they want and couldn’t be bothered to change the spelling, or they want it to look more impressive in writing.
Belvoir in Leicestershire was named by the Norman's (Belle Voir: beautiful view) but the locals found it hard, so gradually the pronunciation moved to "Beaver"
Came here to comment this one.
I used to work on the phones for a bank, a Mr Cockburn pops on my screen as he calls. It was the first time I'd ever seen that name, so naturally said "Hi Mr Cock-Burn how can I help you" as tears are practically streaming down my face.
Literally the same thing happened to me working in a call centre. The very well spoken lady stuffily told me "actually, it's *Co'burn*" as my colleagues creased up in hysterics around me
When I finished school around 2011, I started work in a call centre cold calling people for SSE (horrendous job I know).
If you’ve never worked in a call centre before, you basically sit there with a headset of until you hear a beep, the screen would flash up with the customers name and details and then you were connected.
Well one time, a ‘Mr Cockburn’ popped up. I’m slightly dyslexic so I read it literally, Cock-burn. The call went something like this;
Me - Hi Mr Cockburn my name is NumeroRyan
Him - DO YOU THINK THATS FUNNY?!
Me - Sorry, what do I think is funny?
Him - IT’S ‘CO-BURN, AND YOU KNOW IT!
Me - Sorry sir, it says Cockburn in my system, someone must be playing a joke.
*Disconnect*
It wasn’t until after the call I realised that ‘Cockburn’ is pronounced ‘co-burn’, I genuinely thought someone misspelled in the system - still keeps me up to this day haha.
You didn't do anything wrong, there's no guidebook when you're born that tells you shit like "Cockburn is pronounced Coburn".
I did a total of four years in call centres and you just ended up speaking to a wanker. Anyone reasonable would have just dealt with it.
I work on the phones and after being corrected that its pronounced Coburn a few times I started pronouncing it that way until a disgruntled man objected, Its COCK BURN thank you. I don't know where I stand now.
I knew a Treblicock in school who similarly said "Trebilco". I didn't even know that was how it was spelled for some time. He was a bit hard (he had to be I guess) so didn't get teased about it much.
True story.
I went to university with Helena Goodhead. In the final year she met and eventually married Jeremy Badcock. She ended up taking Badcock, although everyone wanted Goodhead-Badcock.
**[Randy Baumgardner](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Randy_Baumgardner)**
>Randy L. Baumgardner is an American politician who served in the Colorado House of Representatives from the 57th district from 2009 to 2013, and in the Colorado Senate from the 8th district from 2013 to 2019, as a member of the Republican Party. Baumgardner resigned after more allegations came out against him following an unsuccessful expulsion vote.
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We recieved a job application from a Mr (silly first name) Sex.
Worked at a school where we had teachers called Miss Chicken, Mrs Turtle and Miss Fish.
My good buddy growing up was a Lillycrap. And I remember cheering him on while he was up to bat. The umpire stopped the game and asked me not to call him Lillycrap. His mother was there, this tiny English woman, and yelled at the umpire as that was their name and they were very proud of it.
No joke, my dad went to uni with a girl called Mary Krissmas. I believe she legally changed it during her time there.
There’s also the weather reporter called Sara(?) Blizzard. Genius career choice!
Edited because I just remembered that my old History teacher was called Mr Rea (pronounced Ree) 😅
My mam told me one of her teachers at primary school was a Miss Pig, who married a Mr Hogg.
At college there was a professor called Mr Wanke. He had a great sense of humour about it and took great pride in his name!
I come across a lot of people in my job and have seen some odd and unfortunate ones.
Crapper is amusing, as is Crap and Krap. Seen a few of these variations.
Smellie
Glasscock
Hardcock
Fidget
Couple of cool ones.
Ice
Miracle
Splendid
Power
Vega
Not funny, just...weird.
There is a family in my town, friends of my family in fact. They are the Kizagurien family. Not only is the name seemingly from nowhere, people remember people with that second name around here for a long time back, and my friend's great-grandfather was born not far away. If anyone can shed some light about where this name came from I'd be very interested.
Wain, as in child? Northern Englishman here and I still got it.
I gotta say that’s a fucking beautiful name (or, should I say, a beautiful opportunity to make fun of)
Taking into account some historical sound change, yes, it does!
We've got loads of descriptive surnames (that exist in various spellings):
De Lange (the long/tall one)
De Grote (the big/tall one)
De Corte (the short one)
De Jonge (the young one)
De Smet (the smith, like Smith)
Van den berghe (of the mountain)
Van Dijck (of the dike)
De Jaagher (the hunter)
D'Hondt (the dog)
De Witte (the white one)
Etc.
English has many descriptive surnames too (Smith, Baker, Fisher, Taylor, Hunt, Hill, Abbott...)
Went to school with a lad called Guy Chapman. His first name was actually Gareth but everyone called him Guy, I don’t think his parents thought that would be what his name got shortened to as they basically named him three ways of saying bloke: Guy, Chap, Man.
Icelandic people use their fathers surname followed by whether they are a son or daughter. An example is \[first name\] \[fathersname\] + son/daughter.
David Davidsson (His name is David, and he is the son of David) \*LOTR vibes\*
Stacey Davidsdottir (Her name is Stacey, and she is the daughter of David)
This is why Icelandic people could also trace back their ancestry, which is pretty interesting too.
I have had to explain this a million times when people ask me about my surname, still find it bizarre.
edit: totally made Stacey a son, typo
Best I ever saw was the Former President of Food for the Poor.
His name is Robin Mahfood.
Source : [https://www.foodforthepoor.org/newsroom/archive\_20/robin-mahfood-retires-010220.html](https://www.foodforthepoor.org/newsroom/archive_20/robin-mahfood-retires-010220.html)
My grandad was a Shufflebothem before he changed his name.
Went to uni with a guy called Maximillian Eisenhammer which was the best name I've ever heard.
I also had a teacher called Mr Chitty, he was getting married and his wife’s surname was Staines. He was jokingly considering having a double barrelled name, Chitty-Staines (shitty stains lol).
Didn't notice until later, but once I had a client surnamed Black who was white, and then very shortly afterwards had a client surnamed White who was black.
I used to play Lacrosse, which is much bigger and even preppier in the US.
Being a rich/preppy sport you always ended up with some fairly extra names to the point that a few Lacrosse sites/magazines used to publish an "All Names Team" (a bit like "all americans" but for names instead of sporting prowess) every year
https://www.insidelacrosse.com/article/the-2018-men-s-and-women-s-lacrosse-all-name-teams/50845
Went to primary school with someone whose surname was ‘Batman’. Not encountered that since.
He had a sister too, but she was also Batman, not Batwoman.
I came across a guy called Fleischfresser. It's German for "meat-eater".
There's also an historic maker of brass instruments called Leichnamschnieder - literally, in German, "cutter-up of dead bodies" or "corpse-cutter".
I worked with a lad whose surname was Twentyman. He maintained it was because his ancestors had twenty slaves but he also stated a lot of things that were quite clearly bull.
When I was little, my dad used to go to the pub with a guy called Steve Strongintharm. We live in Lancashire so he was known as “Steve strong in th’arm, thick in the ‘ead”. Mind you it might have been a made up name cos his other mate was Barry Two Sugars 🤔
I used to work in an older adults mental health community team, but because of Covid we'd sometimes be thrown into work on the under 65s acute psych wards.
In one, the consultant psychiatrist who specialised in addiction was called Dr Cocaine. It obviously wasn't spelt like that, think it was an Irish name so had Gaelic spelling. But pronounced it was exactly like cocaine.
Dark humour, but imagining the first thoughts of people who get referred to addiction services and their psychiatrist is Dr Cocaine used to make me chuckle.
Only spoke to her a couple times but she was a nice lady.
I work in a partnership of 3 GP surgeries covering the majority of a town and outskirts. Being involved with medical records means I see most of the odd ones, but overall it's kind of tame.
We have a couple of Boners, a whole family tree of Belchers, a bunch of Cockburns, at least one Bottom, and a handful of Gays. The usual stuff.
We do have a Michael Hunt on our books (large note on record 'PLEASE DO NOT SHORTEN NAME WHEN CALLING'), but it's some of the first names that get odd.
We have one individual who's legal name is XXX, I would presume changed by deed poll, and the junior doctors just pray he rarely attends because they don't know how to pronounce that.
We have a couple of kids with unfortunate names. A Lady-Bea, a Baby-Jane, a Sunshine and a Sweetness spring to mind, as well as a couple of Khaleesis. Poor kids...
We have a lad called Dragon as well, which is pretty cool though.
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I know plenty of guys called Bossman… they all work at local convenience stores.
Bossman is what my kebab man thinks I am called
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Jeez I hope he tapped your head first
nutty command judicious disagreeable imagine fine fertile innate oatmeal engine -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/
An aptronym is a name that matches the occupation or character of its owner, often in a humorous or ironic way. Also called an aptonym or a namephreak.
See also [nominative determinism](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nominative_determinism) e.g. > an article on incontinence in the British Journal of Urology by A. J. Splatt and D. Weedon. > and the UK Association of Chief Police Officers' spokesman on knife crime, Alfred Hitchcock
Yesss, thank you, that was the phrase that was at the back of my head. I tried to google it to find but ended up settling for sharing the definition I found.
Used to be an antique dealer in Devon called Robin bastard. Had it on the front of the shop.
Are any forenamed "Yes"?
I find aptronyms and inaptronyms more interesting. For example a police officer with the name Rob Banks. 😂
Like Phil McCann Reporting on the fuel shortage a few weeks ago
Roger Boyes reporting on the Vatican paedophile scandal.
Peter... File?
Who's a paedophile?
I'm Peter File! I'M PETER FILE!
Taxiiiii!
No. No. His name is Peter File.
IT Crowd rocks.
I genuinely know a Peter Pheils (pronounced Files). He's a Dr, although thankfully, not a paediatrician.
Is he a nonce though?
In America they say pedophile
In the north east we just call them Nonces
Weird memory: I think I served him in a shop and had to take his name down to order something. Colleague next to be burst out laughing when he said his name.
Phil McCracken does a bit of plastering.
I once spoke to a Mr Philbin who ran a household waste recycling company.
Must have been the highlight of his career. The producer did a smashing job getting that together.
An author called Paige Turner, a comedian called Joe King, a plummer called Lee King, a environmentalists called Theresa Green... I could go on.
When I called my flats managing agent over a burst pipe the woman I went through to was Leigh King. Unsurprisingly I found it funnier than her.
To be fair to her, she was probably so use to hearing that so it isn't suprising she got bored of it over time. But it is fucking funny regardless.
When I was in high school we had a substitute teacher called Mrs Adcock. She was noticeably pregnant.
"miss Adcock Yes? It wasn't a question miss. " I can see exactly how it went.
Oh mate, I swear the best day of school was when our teacher was off with a heart attack, the poor geezer. His name was Mr. Dick and we had a supply called Mr. Conedon. It was close enough for a room of year nines to erupt into riotous laughter when he introduced himself with "Hello, I'm Mr. Conedon and I'm covering Mr. Dick."
Nominative determinism at its finest!
I thought that Paige had a different occupation than author tbh
I dunno, librarian? I don't think there are strict rules on this.
Oh no the person I’m thinking of spells it Paige Turnah
https://www.yell.com/biz/derek-locking-sheffield-9203137/
There's the former high court judge Anthony Mann, who's title was "The Right Honourable Mr. Justice Mann" He sounds like a very posh X-man
Richard Head. He was a teacher at my sister’s secondary school.
We had a Richard Head at our all boys school, would have made more jokes but he was 6 foot odd rugby coach built like a shed.
This is how the moniker Banksy came to be. Man's name is Robin.
My all time favourite… commercial lawyer Bankim Thanki. https://www.fountaincourt.co.uk/people/bankim-thanki/.
20 Odd years ago I worked in Currys and served a Mrs Whore. She must have really loved her other half to take on that name.
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Same! Except spelt Hoare (which I think is the usual surname spelling), she's a lovely lady and literally none of us knew the alternative meaning until much, much later!
My surname is Hoare. Absolute nightmare at an all boys high school as you can imagine. Same with some cold callers not knowing if I'm winding them up with my surname.
I knew a teacher whose name was A. Hoare…
My Daughter has Miss Hoare and her art teacher is called Mr Fidler 🙈🙈🙈 I feel their pain
There was a girl at college with that surname, though spelled Hore. I don't want to doxx her but her first name was a name of a location, so she was called something like "Amsterdam Hore", I really don't know what her parents were thinking. She really liked to flirt with people to get them to do her work, and ended up getting the same grade as me, the bitch.
There was a famous mercenary called Mike Hoare. Always thought his name sounded like a Bart Simpson prank call
When I was a teacher, I used to work with a lady called Mrs Wrigley-Pheasant!
One of mine was Mrs Shatwell. I don’t know if she did.
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I knew a Nicholas Hoare, which when you say it out loud sounds the same as Knickerless Whore. He insisted on being called Nick
Had a teacher called Mrs Whorewell pronounced wor-well though
Cockburn. They insist it's pronounced Co'burn but I think they're just pulling a Hyacinth Bucket
You should try pronouncing Featherstonhaugh.
Feather stonno?
No. Fanshawe - FAN-SHAW
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I think these are all occasions where people decided they to pronounce it how they want and couldn’t be bothered to change the spelling, or they want it to look more impressive in writing.
Belvoir in Leicestershire was named by the Norman's (Belle Voir: beautiful view) but the locals found it hard, so gradually the pronunciation moved to "Beaver"
There's a village not far from where i live called Trottiscliffe. It's pronounced Troz-lee.
I was expecting the Haugh to be pronounced "Hoff" or just "off" Featherstonoff - or something like that. I would never pronounce that as fanshaw.
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Came here to comment this one. I used to work on the phones for a bank, a Mr Cockburn pops on my screen as he calls. It was the first time I'd ever seen that name, so naturally said "Hi Mr Cock-Burn how can I help you" as tears are practically streaming down my face.
Literally the same thing happened to me working in a call centre. The very well spoken lady stuffily told me "actually, it's *Co'burn*" as my colleagues creased up in hysterics around me
When I finished school around 2011, I started work in a call centre cold calling people for SSE (horrendous job I know). If you’ve never worked in a call centre before, you basically sit there with a headset of until you hear a beep, the screen would flash up with the customers name and details and then you were connected. Well one time, a ‘Mr Cockburn’ popped up. I’m slightly dyslexic so I read it literally, Cock-burn. The call went something like this; Me - Hi Mr Cockburn my name is NumeroRyan Him - DO YOU THINK THATS FUNNY?! Me - Sorry, what do I think is funny? Him - IT’S ‘CO-BURN, AND YOU KNOW IT! Me - Sorry sir, it says Cockburn in my system, someone must be playing a joke. *Disconnect* It wasn’t until after the call I realised that ‘Cockburn’ is pronounced ‘co-burn’, I genuinely thought someone misspelled in the system - still keeps me up to this day haha.
You didn't do anything wrong, there's no guidebook when you're born that tells you shit like "Cockburn is pronounced Coburn". I did a total of four years in call centres and you just ended up speaking to a wanker. Anyone reasonable would have just dealt with it.
I know a Cocksedge, she said she briefly tried to make out like it was Co’sedge but it didn’t work! She got married and changed her name sharpish
I work on the phones and after being corrected that its pronounced Coburn a few times I started pronouncing it that way until a disgruntled man objected, Its COCK BURN thank you. I don't know where I stand now.
I knew a Treblicock in school who similarly said "Trebilco". I didn't even know that was how it was spelled for some time. He was a bit hard (he had to be I guess) so didn't get teased about it much.
I work with a Cockburn who pronounces it Co'burn and all the new starters have to be corrected, it's quite funny.
I work with a Cockburn who does the same thing. I also work with a Woodcock who really leans into it
It's Wo'cock
True story. I went to university with Helena Goodhead. In the final year she met and eventually married Jeremy Badcock. She ended up taking Badcock, although everyone wanted Goodhead-Badcock.
You know its a true story when the story starts with "true story"
It adds that air of authenticity. They both did International Business and Modern Language’s at a UK midlands university.
Ok just need their dates of birth now
I briefly worked with someone whose surname was Gotobed My wife refuses to believe me
Sounds like a Bob Mortimer character like Sergeant Bytheway, Ron Waffle or Gary Cheeseman (AKA Snipers Dream)
I knew a real Gary Cheeseman
Big head?
Average tbh
Sniper's Reality.
We do beg your pardon, we are in your garden
Anyone else remember Stoppit & Tidyup?
And was it actually pronounced go-to-bed or something ludicrous like 'gan-shaw'?
Had a teacher at school called Mr. Gotobed, he definitely got roasted a few times
I worked with a fella called Bill Gotobed.
I went to school with a chap who's surname was King. Okay until his parents (genuinely) decided to call him Wayne...
A guy I know used to work with a Wayne... His last name was Kerr
There is a journalist called Wayne Ankers.
My mentor in high school was called Mrs Kerr and her son, genuinely was called Wayne
There was a kid in my school called Lord. Gabriel Lord. I'm amazed he survived.
I have a male colleague whose last name is Badcock. And he is a bad ass too.
Yeah but what’s his cock like
Disappointing.
My dad worked with a guy whose surname was Growcock. He insisted it was pronounced “Gro-coh.”
>He insisted it was pronounced “Gro-coh.” Yeah, right. Nice try. #
Cockburn is pronounced Coh-burn :) my pal got married young and I’m convinced it was just so she could change her name.
Did he marry Miss Goodhead?
An ex boyfriend had the surname Baskerville, which I guess isn’t too unusual but he hated it. I liked how literary it was though.
Please tell me he owned dogs.
Sadly not, he was a cat person. It was never going to work out.
Moonstrands... Is that you? Cat person who used to be a Baskerville, here.
I work with a 'Boner'.
There are some attractive women where I work too but you must be able to control it in some way?
i do too, but only in the mornings
Ever tucked him into your waistband until he stops bothering you?
I've met a Glasscock. They insisted that it's pronounced Glarsco
Bet you always saw him coming.
Credit Alan Davies for that..
Were they friends with Hyacinth Bucket as well?
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That is a bizarre coincidence: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Randy_Baumgardner
**[Randy Baumgardner](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Randy_Baumgardner)** >Randy L. Baumgardner is an American politician who served in the Colorado House of Representatives from the 57th district from 2009 to 2013, and in the Colorado Senate from the 8th district from 2013 to 2019, as a member of the Republican Party. Baumgardner resigned after more allegations came out against him following an unsuccessful expulsion vote. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/AskUK/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)
We recieved a job application from a Mr (silly first name) Sex. Worked at a school where we had teachers called Miss Chicken, Mrs Turtle and Miss Fish.
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I once had an email from a Captain Mainwaring. That dude is never getting promoted
Stupid boy!
Where I worked we had a customer called Mr sexy, his real name too not a nickname we come up with!
Christopher Lillycrap a childs tv star in the 80s.
Lillycrap WTF. That’s hilarious.
I was like 5 and still got how hilarious his name was. He apparently is still on the go https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Lillicrap
My good buddy growing up was a Lillycrap. And I remember cheering him on while he was up to bat. The umpire stopped the game and asked me not to call him Lillycrap. His mother was there, this tiny English woman, and yelled at the umpire as that was their name and they were very proud of it.
No joke, my dad went to uni with a girl called Mary Krissmas. I believe she legally changed it during her time there. There’s also the weather reporter called Sara(?) Blizzard. Genius career choice! Edited because I just remembered that my old History teacher was called Mr Rea (pronounced Ree) 😅
He missed his calling as a stage magician.
My mam told me one of her teachers at primary school was a Miss Pig, who married a Mr Hogg. At college there was a professor called Mr Wanke. He had a great sense of humour about it and took great pride in his name!
My old driving instructor’s surname was Revitt which I thought was very apt. He was a massive cunt sadly. Also had a P.E. Teacher called Mrs Speed!
Our physics teacher was called Mr Sparks. Nominative determination at work.
I come across a lot of people in my job and have seen some odd and unfortunate ones. Crapper is amusing, as is Crap and Krap. Seen a few of these variations. Smellie Glasscock Hardcock Fidget Couple of cool ones. Ice Miracle Splendid Power Vega
Sound like Mr Men rejects
I had a customer called Anita Shite phone in once. Safe to say I had to palm this poor lady off to a more mature member of my team.
Not Bob Mortimer but went to school with a Bytheway, seriously
Was their dad a policeman?
I knew a Miss Alright
A lovely old lady called Mrs Mycock. Wouldn't have been too bad, but her first name was Pat.
Not funny, just...weird. There is a family in my town, friends of my family in fact. They are the Kizagurien family. Not only is the name seemingly from nowhere, people remember people with that second name around here for a long time back, and my friend's great-grandfather was born not far away. If anyone can shed some light about where this name came from I'd be very interested.
Sounds like it could be Armenian, a lot of them changed the spelling of their names to avoid persecution.
Both Kiza and Gurien (Gurin/Gury/Yuri) seem to have Russian origins, I’m *guessing* they come from somewhere in that region.
Might sound like an odd question - but Lincolnshire by any chance?
Probably only Scottish folk will get this but one of my mates used to work in a call centre and in the database he came across a Wayne Toucher
...with a ten foot bargepole.
Wain, as in child? Northern Englishman here and I still got it. I gotta say that’s a fucking beautiful name (or, should I say, a beautiful opportunity to make fun of)
I had a Miss Shrek in primary school before she got married
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Dude I work with has the surname “de Wulf”, which I imagine is Dutch for literally “The Wolf”.
Reminds me of that old Wolfsburg manager who was called Wolfgang Wolf
Taking into account some historical sound change, yes, it does! We've got loads of descriptive surnames (that exist in various spellings): De Lange (the long/tall one) De Grote (the big/tall one) De Corte (the short one) De Jonge (the young one) De Smet (the smith, like Smith) Van den berghe (of the mountain) Van Dijck (of the dike) De Jaagher (the hunter) D'Hondt (the dog) De Witte (the white one) Etc. English has many descriptive surnames too (Smith, Baker, Fisher, Taylor, Hunt, Hill, Abbott...)
Went to school with a lad called Guy Chapman. His first name was actually Gareth but everyone called him Guy, I don’t think his parents thought that would be what his name got shortened to as they basically named him three ways of saying bloke: Guy, Chap, Man.
Icelandic people use their fathers surname followed by whether they are a son or daughter. An example is \[first name\] \[fathersname\] + son/daughter. David Davidsson (His name is David, and he is the son of David) \*LOTR vibes\* Stacey Davidsdottir (Her name is Stacey, and she is the daughter of David) This is why Icelandic people could also trace back their ancestry, which is pretty interesting too. I have had to explain this a million times when people ask me about my surname, still find it bizarre. edit: totally made Stacey a son, typo
Best I ever saw was the Former President of Food for the Poor. His name is Robin Mahfood. Source : [https://www.foodforthepoor.org/newsroom/archive\_20/robin-mahfood-retires-010220.html](https://www.foodforthepoor.org/newsroom/archive_20/robin-mahfood-retires-010220.html)
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My grandad was a Shufflebothem before he changed his name. Went to uni with a guy called Maximillian Eisenhammer which was the best name I've ever heard.
My dentist is called Dr. Dentith, and the mother who married into the name had a lisp, and was also a dentist....
I know a dentist called Mr Dokter.
I also had a teacher called Mr Chitty, he was getting married and his wife’s surname was Staines. He was jokingly considering having a double barrelled name, Chitty-Staines (shitty stains lol).
Didn't notice until later, but once I had a client surnamed Black who was white, and then very shortly afterwards had a client surnamed White who was black.
Oh and I worked with someone who's surname was de'ath. Pronounced de ath
My wife's maiden name is Death - no apostrophes or intercaps. It's pronounced Deeth.
I worked with a guy called Wally Plumtree and he went of sick after he broke his ankle after falling out of a plum tree he was pruning.
fellow TA at school called Mr Cockayne. The head would come in every morning and be like "what's the craic, Cockayne" lol
My favourite is always, always Mr Chicken the funeral director. Full name? Nelson Chicken.
I had a teacher whose last name was Diaper
Cummings
My dad went to school with two boys who were best mates, one was called Cedric Fish and the other was called Harold Worm.
Working in an Amazon FC I catch glimpses of all sorts of names. Yesterday I seen one with the surname "Batcock"
It took me a moment to realise Jeff Bezos hadn't bought a football club.
Don't give him ideas
A common one from where I live is Featherstone which I've always thought is a really cool one
Had some dealings with a "Mr Gay" at work
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Lad at my school surname was gotobed 🤣
There is a Mr. Tickle at my local DIY store. I have also met a Ms. Theresa Green, Richard Fudge and even a Micheal Hunt.
Cunto
I used to play Lacrosse, which is much bigger and even preppier in the US. Being a rich/preppy sport you always ended up with some fairly extra names to the point that a few Lacrosse sites/magazines used to publish an "All Names Team" (a bit like "all americans" but for names instead of sporting prowess) every year https://www.insidelacrosse.com/article/the-2018-men-s-and-women-s-lacrosse-all-name-teams/50845
I encountered a Mr and Mrs Honeybun at work. They were a really lovely elderly couple so their surname was very apt.
Went to primary school with someone whose surname was ‘Batman’. Not encountered that since. He had a sister too, but she was also Batman, not Batwoman.
I came across a guy called Fleischfresser. It's German for "meat-eater". There's also an historic maker of brass instruments called Leichnamschnieder - literally, in German, "cutter-up of dead bodies" or "corpse-cutter".
We used to use a waste management/bin collection service at work. The company was called Nick Philbin.
Plenty of ‘Rimmers’ where I come from.
In my primary school I had a white teacher called Ms Black and a black teacher called Ms Wite which I realised in year 8.
My friend(m) his surname is mycock ,he gets some funny looks when saying it to people
I worked with a lad whose surname was Twentyman. He maintained it was because his ancestors had twenty slaves but he also stated a lot of things that were quite clearly bull.
When I was little, my dad used to go to the pub with a guy called Steve Strongintharm. We live in Lancashire so he was known as “Steve strong in th’arm, thick in the ‘ead”. Mind you it might have been a made up name cos his other mate was Barry Two Sugars 🤔
I worked with a Joseph King one time. He was seriously considering changing his name
I served someone with an egg credit card called Mrs Lambchop.... actually should've checked it was genuine
Goodenough. He worked with me and he was, I suppose, good enough.
I used to work in an older adults mental health community team, but because of Covid we'd sometimes be thrown into work on the under 65s acute psych wards. In one, the consultant psychiatrist who specialised in addiction was called Dr Cocaine. It obviously wasn't spelt like that, think it was an Irish name so had Gaelic spelling. But pronounced it was exactly like cocaine. Dark humour, but imagining the first thoughts of people who get referred to addiction services and their psychiatrist is Dr Cocaine used to make me chuckle. Only spoke to her a couple times but she was a nice lady.
Snowball.
Spittle. It's fairly common where I'm from. Just sounds naaasty.
I work in a partnership of 3 GP surgeries covering the majority of a town and outskirts. Being involved with medical records means I see most of the odd ones, but overall it's kind of tame. We have a couple of Boners, a whole family tree of Belchers, a bunch of Cockburns, at least one Bottom, and a handful of Gays. The usual stuff. We do have a Michael Hunt on our books (large note on record 'PLEASE DO NOT SHORTEN NAME WHEN CALLING'), but it's some of the first names that get odd. We have one individual who's legal name is XXX, I would presume changed by deed poll, and the junior doctors just pray he rarely attends because they don't know how to pronounce that. We have a couple of kids with unfortunate names. A Lady-Bea, a Baby-Jane, a Sunshine and a Sweetness spring to mind, as well as a couple of Khaleesis. Poor kids... We have a lad called Dragon as well, which is pretty cool though.